Happy 11th Anniversary to my wonderful husband! Here's a repost from our anniversary in 2010. Almost 2 kids later and I wouldn't change a single word (except to maybe add a few).
---------
It is a big church. The most grandiose in stature in the entirety of our small town. The dramatic roof lines and towering steeple sit perfectly atop rock and brick walls adorned with stained glass windows, all situated on the precisely manicured lawn.
It's a beautiful church. And every time I drive by I think about what happened inside.
I stand behind two huge wooden doors, stained to a perfect deep brown, waiting to walk down a burgundy-carpeted aisle. So much awaits me on the other side of those doors. Love. Commitment. Beauty.
The wedding coordinator adjusts my veil and the train of my dress.
Deep breath.
The organ begins to play the non-traditional melody of an Scottish tune, reminiscent of our college Alma Mater. The doors swing open, everyone stands up.
I blink.
It's 8 years later. And here I sit, mother to 6, wife to a man who loves me in spite of who I am. A husband who loves wholly, sacrificially and beyond my understanding.
In our counseling session at Candidate Week we reviewed the many statistics associated with our personality inventories, marriage surveys and some other psychological profiles that we sent in ahead of us.
"You have an over-idealized view of your marriage," the gray haired counselor told me, over the rim of her glasses.
I sat back in my chair, turning her words over in my mind, trying not to be defensive.
Really? Because I'm pretty much a realist in every other area of my life.
At the end of the session, she agreed, my marriage is not over-idealized in my very matter-of-fact head. Rather, I understand that I am blessed. Beyond what I deserve.
Blessed with a man who guards the purity of our marriage so fervently that he refuses to be alone with other women, even in the context of work, where such a conscience is often considered ridiculous.
Blessed with a leader who fears the Lord and seeks, with his whole being, to serve him, even if it makes our family uncomfortable and unconventional.
Blessed with a confidant, someone I can pour my soul out to, the nasty, dirty, raw and often ugly parts and he draws me close and prays over me.
Blessed with a protector, a guardian of our home and our children and someone who takes that role so seriously, he is willing to risk it all for the glory of the Lord.
I smell the familiar smell of the church and take in the pews, full of people. I look to the opening in front of me and see him, standing at the end of a flower strewn aisle. He smiles at me. My heart flutters in my chest. I reach the altar unsure of how I'm standing there since it seems as though my feet hardly moved.
We exchange vows and rings and we both cry. I wipe his tears. More sniffles echo through the rafters of the magnificent sanctuary.
We turn and face our family and friends. We are Mr. & Mrs.
We celebrate. It's glorious. Even 8 years later. It's glorious.
It's no fairy tale and my days are certainly mixed with their fair share of meltdowns and tears. And some days the kids cry too. :)
But we've come through so much. We've endured hardships and know that more are coming. We laugh together often. We love much. He still dates me. He still stops, through the bustle of our home, to wrap his arms around me and let me bury my face in his chest.
We argue, annoy the crap out of each other and forget things that are important to the each other. But we chose love above all else. We chose to bind our hearts together with God as the glue.
We walk out the front doors of the church, and the cold air hits us like needles. We climb inside the magnificent limousine and the driver shuts the door. I look at my husband.
It's over. Man, that went fast, I think to myself.
I adjust my dress. He grabs my hand. We kiss.
The driver starts the engine.
And then, the journey begins.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Friday, February 24, 2012
I'm words, he's numbers: Thoughts from the mind of my man
I don't have a perfect marriage. In fact, my pregnancies take their toll on our marriage. I feel so miserable and pukey-bad for the first 4 - 5 months, love the middle 8 or 9 weeks, then I slip into that slightly-less-comfortable-than-a-beached-whale phase for the last 2 months.
Needless to say, I'm cranky for a lot of the time that I gestate our babies. My sweet husband fills right in where I leave off, taking care of kids, laundry, housework, you name it. But it's hard on him.
By far, this has been the hardest pregnancy for both of us.
Add to that that I'm a woman of many words and my husband is, well, a man of less than many words. Especially when he's thinking about something.
Typically I vomit my words all over him, holding little to nothing back, letting every passing emotion sweep across my lips like a flash flood in a monsoon.
But Luke, he's a thinker. I learned a little trick a few years ago on how to move from being a talker to a listener when I'm with my man. It's invaluable for understanding, hearing and really listening to my husband. (Maybe one day I'll share it with you all, if my husband promises not to act like he knows my secret.)
Anyway, just because my sweet man isn't much on for sharing his thoughts and emotions, doesn't mean they don't exists. Before we got married, I'd only seen him cry one time. He shed a few, tender tears during our wedding ceremony. Then, he cried when he found out his dog had died and when we found out his grandfather was in critical condition, likely to die within a matter of days.
Otherwise, he was cool, calm and collected (unless there's inclement weather, then not-so-much). This life of few words, and even fewer raw emotion was the norm. That was, until we had kids. Now, my man isn't afraid to have or show his emotion. And I love it. I love it so very much.
Even though emotion flows easily for him now, he still isn't one to pour out words. Maybe it's because he can't find the right ones or maybe it's because he likes to really make sure he's sure before he speaks.
I think it's because, in our relationship, I'm words, he's numbers.
Today, I got this email from my thinker husband. It brought me to tears and to my knees to thank my Lord that I have such a man who values our children as much as I do and who sees them as the blessing they are. Glory be, how I love this man of mine.
-----------
From Luke today, via email:
So I find myself crying, sobbing, on the way to work this morning. I would apologize for being a man that cries, but I have learned to embrace these kinds of emotions. “You see Billy cried, because, well, he is a crier.” Through certain circumstances I was able to take my oldest daughter to breakfast this morning. As I am in the car driving, images begin to flash through my mind.
You see, this pregnancy has been different for me. In the past, I have taken the role of caring for the older kids and didn’t stop, nor have much time, to think about our new child on the way. With the kids being older now, things are even busier, but it is easier for all of us to spend time together. With this, I am able to enjoy each child and the beauty of what each one holds.
As I am looking through the windshield I think about my 7 yr old daughter and how she showers me with so much love each and every day. Then I remember how proud my 2 yr old was for me to see her being a ‘big girl’. Then I begin to think of our newest daughter on the way and the moments of joy she will bring me as a father and I don’t even know what they are yet.
All of this brings me to the Throne of God. Humbled he would entrust me to make decisions for these children that will shape there lives. Thankful he would bless me with smiles across a breakfast table, naked babies soaking wet with a huge smile, and to feel my daughter move in the womb. I have such a large responsibility to be a Priest, Profit, Provider, and Protector for my family. God equipped me today.
Needless to say, I'm cranky for a lot of the time that I gestate our babies. My sweet husband fills right in where I leave off, taking care of kids, laundry, housework, you name it. But it's hard on him.
By far, this has been the hardest pregnancy for both of us.
Add to that that I'm a woman of many words and my husband is, well, a man of less than many words. Especially when he's thinking about something.
Typically I vomit my words all over him, holding little to nothing back, letting every passing emotion sweep across my lips like a flash flood in a monsoon.
But Luke, he's a thinker. I learned a little trick a few years ago on how to move from being a talker to a listener when I'm with my man. It's invaluable for understanding, hearing and really listening to my husband. (Maybe one day I'll share it with you all, if my husband promises not to act like he knows my secret.)
Anyway, just because my sweet man isn't much on for sharing his thoughts and emotions, doesn't mean they don't exists. Before we got married, I'd only seen him cry one time. He shed a few, tender tears during our wedding ceremony. Then, he cried when he found out his dog had died and when we found out his grandfather was in critical condition, likely to die within a matter of days.
Otherwise, he was cool, calm and collected (unless there's inclement weather, then not-so-much). This life of few words, and even fewer raw emotion was the norm. That was, until we had kids. Now, my man isn't afraid to have or show his emotion. And I love it. I love it so very much.
Even though emotion flows easily for him now, he still isn't one to pour out words. Maybe it's because he can't find the right ones or maybe it's because he likes to really make sure he's sure before he speaks.
I think it's because, in our relationship, I'm words, he's numbers.
Today, I got this email from my thinker husband. It brought me to tears and to my knees to thank my Lord that I have such a man who values our children as much as I do and who sees them as the blessing they are. Glory be, how I love this man of mine.
-----------
From Luke today, via email:
So I find myself crying, sobbing, on the way to work this morning. I would apologize for being a man that cries, but I have learned to embrace these kinds of emotions. “You see Billy cried, because, well, he is a crier.” Through certain circumstances I was able to take my oldest daughter to breakfast this morning. As I am in the car driving, images begin to flash through my mind.
- Elizabeth (age 7) being able to get herself completely ready. She took extra time this morning to ‘look nice’ for daddy.
- When I get home from breakfast I see Ella, our youngest (age 2), getting out of the shower {I will not give any more details on that point}.
- I said “see ya” to my very pregnant wife, carrying our soon to be youngest daughter.
You see, this pregnancy has been different for me. In the past, I have taken the role of caring for the older kids and didn’t stop, nor have much time, to think about our new child on the way. With the kids being older now, things are even busier, but it is easier for all of us to spend time together. With this, I am able to enjoy each child and the beauty of what each one holds.
As I am looking through the windshield I think about my 7 yr old daughter and how she showers me with so much love each and every day. Then I remember how proud my 2 yr old was for me to see her being a ‘big girl’. Then I begin to think of our newest daughter on the way and the moments of joy she will bring me as a father and I don’t even know what they are yet.
All of this brings me to the Throne of God. Humbled he would entrust me to make decisions for these children that will shape there lives. Thankful he would bless me with smiles across a breakfast table, naked babies soaking wet with a huge smile, and to feel my daughter move in the womb. I have such a large responsibility to be a Priest, Profit, Provider, and Protector for my family. God equipped me today.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Mr & Mrs: An anniversary repost
I originally posted this last year on our anniversary but I thought it was good enough to post again this year. Plus, I still feel the exact same way.
And since we are officially having our Anniversary Date Night tonight, I figured this was as good time as any.
-------
It is a big church. The most grandiose in stature in the entirety of our small town. The dramatic roof lines and towering steeple sit perfectly atop rock and brick walls adorned with stained glass windows, all situated on the precisely manicured lawn.
It's a beautiful church. And every time I drive by I think about what happened inside.
I stand behind two huge wooden doors, stained to a perfect deep brown, waiting to walk down a burgundy-carpeted aisle. So much awaits me on the other side of those doors. Love. Commitment. Beauty.
The wedding coordinator adjusts my veil and the train of my dress.
Deep breath.
The organ begins to play the non-traditional melody of an Scottish tune, reminiscent of our college Alma Mater. The doors swing open, everyone stands up.
I blink.
It's 8 years later. And here I sit, mother to 6, wife to a man who loves me in spite of who I am. A husband who loves wholly, sacrificially and beyond my understanding.
In our counseling session at Candidate Week we reviewed the many statistics associated with our personality inventories, marriage surveys and some other psychological profiles that we sent in ahead of us.
"You have an over-idealized view of your marriage," the gray haired counselor told me, over the rim of her glasses.
I sat back in my chair, turning her words over in my mind, trying not to be defensive.
Really? Because I'm pretty much a realist in every other area of my life.
At the end of the session, she agreed, my marriage is not over-idealized in my very matter-of-fact head. Rather, I understand that I am blessed. Beyond what I deserve.
Blessed with a man who guards the purity of our marriage so fervently that he refuses to be alone with other women, even in the context of work, where such a conscience is often considered ridiculous.
Blessed with a leader who fears the Lord and seeks, with his whole being, to serve him, even if it makes our family uncomfortable and unconventional.
Blessed with a confidant, someone I can pour my soul out to, the nasty, dirty, raw and often ugly parts and he draws me close and prays over me.
Blessed with a protector, a guardian of our home and our children and someone who takes that role so seriously, he is willing to risk it all for the glory of the Lord.
I smell the familiar smell of the church and take in the pews, full of people. I look to the opening in front of me and see him, standing at the end of a flower strewn aisle. He smiles at me. My heart flutters in my chest. I reach the altar unsure of how I'm standing there since it seems as though my feet hardly moved.
We exchange vows and rings and we both cry. I wipe his tears. More sniffles echo through the rafters of the magnificent sanctuary.
We turn and face our family and friends. We are Mr. & Mrs.
We celebrate. It's glorious. Even 8 years later. It's glorious.
It's no fairy tale and my days are certainly mixed with their fair share of meltdowns and tears. And some days the kids cry too. :)
But we've come through so much. We've endured hardships and know that more are coming. We laugh together often. We love much. He still dates me. He still stops, through the bustle of our home, to wrap his arms around me and let me bury my face in his chest.
We argue, annoy the crap out of each other and forget things that are important to the each other. But we chose love above all else. We chose to bind our hearts together with God as the glue.
We walk out the front doors of the church, and the cold air hits us like needles. We climb inside the magnificent limousine and the driver shuts the door. I look at my husband.
It's over. Man, that went fast, I think to myself.
I adjust my dress. He grabs my hand. We kiss.
The driver starts the engine.
And then, the journey begins.
And since we are officially having our Anniversary Date Night tonight, I figured this was as good time as any.
-------
It is a big church. The most grandiose in stature in the entirety of our small town. The dramatic roof lines and towering steeple sit perfectly atop rock and brick walls adorned with stained glass windows, all situated on the precisely manicured lawn.
It's a beautiful church. And every time I drive by I think about what happened inside.
I stand behind two huge wooden doors, stained to a perfect deep brown, waiting to walk down a burgundy-carpeted aisle. So much awaits me on the other side of those doors. Love. Commitment. Beauty.
The wedding coordinator adjusts my veil and the train of my dress.
Deep breath.
The organ begins to play the non-traditional melody of an Scottish tune, reminiscent of our college Alma Mater. The doors swing open, everyone stands up.
I blink.
It's 8 years later. And here I sit, mother to 6, wife to a man who loves me in spite of who I am. A husband who loves wholly, sacrificially and beyond my understanding.
In our counseling session at Candidate Week we reviewed the many statistics associated with our personality inventories, marriage surveys and some other psychological profiles that we sent in ahead of us.
"You have an over-idealized view of your marriage," the gray haired counselor told me, over the rim of her glasses.
I sat back in my chair, turning her words over in my mind, trying not to be defensive.
Really? Because I'm pretty much a realist in every other area of my life.
At the end of the session, she agreed, my marriage is not over-idealized in my very matter-of-fact head. Rather, I understand that I am blessed. Beyond what I deserve.
Blessed with a man who guards the purity of our marriage so fervently that he refuses to be alone with other women, even in the context of work, where such a conscience is often considered ridiculous.
Blessed with a leader who fears the Lord and seeks, with his whole being, to serve him, even if it makes our family uncomfortable and unconventional.
Blessed with a confidant, someone I can pour my soul out to, the nasty, dirty, raw and often ugly parts and he draws me close and prays over me.
Blessed with a protector, a guardian of our home and our children and someone who takes that role so seriously, he is willing to risk it all for the glory of the Lord.
I smell the familiar smell of the church and take in the pews, full of people. I look to the opening in front of me and see him, standing at the end of a flower strewn aisle. He smiles at me. My heart flutters in my chest. I reach the altar unsure of how I'm standing there since it seems as though my feet hardly moved.
We exchange vows and rings and we both cry. I wipe his tears. More sniffles echo through the rafters of the magnificent sanctuary.
We turn and face our family and friends. We are Mr. & Mrs.
We celebrate. It's glorious. Even 8 years later. It's glorious.
It's no fairy tale and my days are certainly mixed with their fair share of meltdowns and tears. And some days the kids cry too. :)
But we've come through so much. We've endured hardships and know that more are coming. We laugh together often. We love much. He still dates me. He still stops, through the bustle of our home, to wrap his arms around me and let me bury my face in his chest.
We argue, annoy the crap out of each other and forget things that are important to the each other. But we chose love above all else. We chose to bind our hearts together with God as the glue.
We walk out the front doors of the church, and the cold air hits us like needles. We climb inside the magnificent limousine and the driver shuts the door. I look at my husband.
It's over. Man, that went fast, I think to myself.
I adjust my dress. He grabs my hand. We kiss.
The driver starts the engine.
And then, the journey begins.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Threefold cord
*Alternately titled: Amanda's Bridal Portraits*
Then, I posted sneak peek pictures of Amanda's bridal portraits? Do you want to see more? I know you do. She's breathtaking, really.
Last week, Amanda and Nick made it official. I'm still a little dazed at the fact that they're really married. Over the last year, I've watched their relationship blossom. It's not always been easy, and had it been I probably would have been worried. But they've both stepped up to the plate and decided that the thing that's most important in their relationship is Christ.
Both Amanda and Nick have grown in leaps and bounds in their relationships with the Lord. Nick has started going to the weekly men's Bible study that Luke is a part of and Amanda's joined my women's group. As Nick has blessed my man with his walk with the Lord, Amanda has equally blessed mine.
There's nothing special about Luke or I. There's really nothing extraordinary about our small groups. But, the fact that Nick and Amanda desired to begin their marriage deeply rooted in solid study of Scripture is HUGE. I remember feeling so burdened for them when they first announced their engagement.
In fact, the next time Amanda came over, I felt compelled to tell her something I felt the Holy Spirit had firmly pressed on my heart.
"Amanda, I know you didn't ask me for advice, but I'm going to give you some anyway." My heart was pounding in my chest because I didn't want to offend her but I knew I needed to say what the Lord had so clearly told me.
"My prayer for you is that you will spend the next months before your wedding focusing more on becoming a wife rather than becoming a bride. I really wish I had done that."
She smiled and nodded in agreement. Luke and I began to pray for them both. A month or so later she joined our group and Nick joined the men's group. Over the course of the months leading up to their wedding, something changed in my relationship with Amanda. At first, I was hesitant because, after all, she works for us.
But I'm so glad that she's allowed me into her life, into some hard places and we've walked some roads together. Now, Amanda's not our babysitter/Nanny.
Now, she's a treasured friend.
I love her so much and I'm so honored that she allowed me front row seats on the last year of her life.
I was a bundle of nerves the day of their wedding, hoping we had prepared enough, had enough food and everything would go smoothly. But, after I ushered my little people to the top of the aisle and then went around and took my seat, I sat there, eyes fixed on Nick.
The music began and I glanced over my shoulder. I saw her coming around the corner and then Luke and I both turned back to Nick. My favorite part of the bride's entrance is watching the groom. As Nick grew teary eyed, my own hot tears streamed down my face. I looked at my own husband and thought about how much our lives had changed in the last 8.5 years.
I sobbed. Luke cried.
And now, a week later, they're married. I'm so excited to see what the Lord is going to do in their life! I know they will have struggles, I know they will have moments of doubt and fear. But above all, they've placed their marriage on the altar before God. I know the Lord Himself is eager to reveal to them His plans. I can't wait to watch it all unfold. All the while praying that they continue to keep Christ as the 3rd and central cord in their marriage.
And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:12
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Sneak Peek Photos
I should be packing. Or sleeping. Instead, I'm pulling up breathtaking photos on my computer and staring at them intently.
What an honor to have dugout level seats to the beginning of a marriage! This girl blesses me, often. I wonder how they feel about life in Kenya? ;)
You see, in exactly 1 month, our sweet, amazing, wonderful babysitter Amanda is getting married. And over the last several months, our relationship has blossomed and now, well, she's not just a babysitter anymore. Now, she's my friend.
And I couldn't be more excited for her. She's marrying an amazing man who loves her fiercely, loves our kids (which speaks volumes to me) and, best yet, loves the Lord.
Today I had the pleasure of, once again, playing photographer and taking some Bridal Portraits for Amanda.
You guys, she is stunning. It's a good thing I'm going to be plenty distracted by my chaotic kids at her wedding or I'd bawl my eyes out. Oh who am I kidding? I probably will anyway.
I so wish that I could show you my FAVORITES but they show too much of her dress! After the wedding I'll post my favorites. Until then, you're stuck with these teasers.
What an honor to have dugout level seats to the beginning of a marriage! This girl blesses me, often. I wonder how they feel about life in Kenya? ;)
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Mr & Mrs
It is a big church. The most grandiose in stature in the entirety of our small town. The dramatic roof lines and towering steeple sit perfectly atop rock and brick walls adorned with stained glass windows, all situated on the precisely manicured lawn.
It's a beautiful church. And every time I drive by I think about what happened inside.
I stand behind two huge wooden doors, stained to a perfect deep brown, waiting to walk down a burgundy-carpeted aisle. So much awaits me on the other side of those doors. Love. Commitment. Beauty.
The wedding coordinator adjusts my veil and the train of my dress.
Deep breath.
The organ begins to play the non-traditional melody of an Scottish tune, reminiscent of our college Alma Mater. The doors swing open, everyone stands up.
I blink.
It's 8 years later. And here I sit, mother to 6, wife to a man who loves me in spite of who I am. A husband who loves wholly, sacrificially and beyond my understanding.
In our counseling session at Candidate Week we reviewed the many statistics associated with our personality inventories, marriage surveys and some other psychological profiles that we sent in ahead of us.
"You have an over-idealized view of your marriage," the gray haired counselor told me, over the rim of her glasses.
I sat back in my chair, turning her words over in my mind, trying not to be defensive.
Really? Because I'm pretty much a realist in every other area of my life.
At the end of the session, she agreed, my marriage is not over-idealized in my very matter-of-fact head. Rather, I understand that I am blessed. Beyond what I deserve.
Blessed with a man who guards the purity of our marriage so fervently that he refuses to be alone with other women, even in the context of work, where such a conscience is often considered ridiculous.
Blessed with a leader who fears the Lord and seeks, with his whole being, to serve him, even if it makes our family uncomfortable and unconventional.
Blessed with a confidant, someone I can pour my soul out to, the nasty, dirty, raw and often ugly parts and he draws me close and prays over me.
Blessed with a protector, a guardian of our home and our children and someone who takes that role so seriously, he is willing to risk it all for the glory of the Lord.
I smell the familiar smell of the church and take in the pews, full of people. I look to the opening in front of me and see him, standing at the end of a flower strewn aisle. He smiles at me. My heart flutters in my chest. I reach the altar unsure of how I'm standing there since it seems as though my feet hardly moved.
We exchange vows and rings and we both cry. I wipe his tears. More sniffles echo through the rafters of the magnificent sanctuary.
We turn and face our family and friends. We are Mr. & Mrs.
We celebrate. It's glorious. Even 8 years later. It's glorious.
It's no fairy tale and my days are certainly mixed with their fair share of meltdowns and tears. And some days the kids cry too. :)
But we've come through so much. We've endured hardships and know that more are coming. We laugh together often. We love much. He still dates me. He still stops, through the bustle of our home, to wrap his arms around me and let me bury my face in his chest.
We argue, annoy the crap out of each other and forget things that are important to the each other. But we chose love above all else. We chose to bind our hearts together with God as the glue.
We walk out the front doors of the church, and the cold air hits us like needles. We climb inside the magnificent limousine and the driver shuts the door. I look at my husband.
It's over. Man, that went fast, I think to myself.
I adjust my dress. He grabs my hand. We kiss.
The driver starts the engine.
And then, the journey begins.
It's a beautiful church. And every time I drive by I think about what happened inside.
I stand behind two huge wooden doors, stained to a perfect deep brown, waiting to walk down a burgundy-carpeted aisle. So much awaits me on the other side of those doors. Love. Commitment. Beauty.
The wedding coordinator adjusts my veil and the train of my dress.
Deep breath.
The organ begins to play the non-traditional melody of an Scottish tune, reminiscent of our college Alma Mater. The doors swing open, everyone stands up.
I blink.
It's 8 years later. And here I sit, mother to 6, wife to a man who loves me in spite of who I am. A husband who loves wholly, sacrificially and beyond my understanding.
In our counseling session at Candidate Week we reviewed the many statistics associated with our personality inventories, marriage surveys and some other psychological profiles that we sent in ahead of us.
"You have an over-idealized view of your marriage," the gray haired counselor told me, over the rim of her glasses.
I sat back in my chair, turning her words over in my mind, trying not to be defensive.
Really? Because I'm pretty much a realist in every other area of my life.
At the end of the session, she agreed, my marriage is not over-idealized in my very matter-of-fact head. Rather, I understand that I am blessed. Beyond what I deserve.
Blessed with a man who guards the purity of our marriage so fervently that he refuses to be alone with other women, even in the context of work, where such a conscience is often considered ridiculous.
Blessed with a leader who fears the Lord and seeks, with his whole being, to serve him, even if it makes our family uncomfortable and unconventional.
Blessed with a confidant, someone I can pour my soul out to, the nasty, dirty, raw and often ugly parts and he draws me close and prays over me.
Blessed with a protector, a guardian of our home and our children and someone who takes that role so seriously, he is willing to risk it all for the glory of the Lord.
I smell the familiar smell of the church and take in the pews, full of people. I look to the opening in front of me and see him, standing at the end of a flower strewn aisle. He smiles at me. My heart flutters in my chest. I reach the altar unsure of how I'm standing there since it seems as though my feet hardly moved.
We exchange vows and rings and we both cry. I wipe his tears. More sniffles echo through the rafters of the magnificent sanctuary.
We turn and face our family and friends. We are Mr. & Mrs.
We celebrate. It's glorious. Even 8 years later. It's glorious.
It's no fairy tale and my days are certainly mixed with their fair share of meltdowns and tears. And some days the kids cry too. :)
But we've come through so much. We've endured hardships and know that more are coming. We laugh together often. We love much. He still dates me. He still stops, through the bustle of our home, to wrap his arms around me and let me bury my face in his chest.
We argue, annoy the crap out of each other and forget things that are important to the each other. But we chose love above all else. We chose to bind our hearts together with God as the glue.
We walk out the front doors of the church, and the cold air hits us like needles. We climb inside the magnificent limousine and the driver shuts the door. I look at my husband.
It's over. Man, that went fast, I think to myself.
I adjust my dress. He grabs my hand. We kiss.
The driver starts the engine.
And then, the journey begins.
Monday, November 1, 2010
He could see the answer shining in her eyes
What do you call the person who's at your house more than just babysitter hours but not quite here enough to be called a Nanny? Babynanny? Nannysitter?
I call her MY SANITY and the kids call her Miss Amanda. Several months ago, Miss Amanda got engaged to Nick. It's a close call on who the kids like more, Nick or Amanda. Aaron is crazy about NiCK (emphasis on the CK) and the girls adore Miss Amanda.
Last week I got to pretend to be a photographer for an afternoon. Who were mylab rats subjects? Nick and Amanda, of course! The outcome was some hardly professional, yet super inexpensive engagement photos of them.
Y'all, I'm just so excited about their future. They both love the Lord, Nick will surely prove to be an amazing leader of his home and Amanda is incredibly humble and has the heart of a servant. I couldn't be more ecstatic about what God has in store for them. And my kids are just a teentsy (read: HUMONGOUS) bit excited about their wedding next June.
As I snapped photos of them, I couldn't stop the voices of Wynonna and Naomi Judd from flowing through my mind, hence the title of this post.*
The laughter and smiles were abundant as we strolled around downtown, trying to find interesting places to snap shots. I love this one of them throwing the leaves. And especially the one of them in the doorway. Mercy. So sweet.
It wasn't hard to ask them to lean in closer and give each other tender gazes and small kisses. It took me back to when Luke and I first were engaged and how we just enjoyed each other's company, no matter where we were or what we were doing. Blessedly, that has only continued to grow and I love my man more today than I did nearly 11 years ago, when we first met.
These next 2 are certainly in the top 3 of the whole day. The genuine laughter and the way the sun shines on Amanda's face as she looks into the eyes of her love. Priceless.
I remember being at the wedding of Luke's best friends from high school. We'd only been married 6 or so months ourselves. It was the end of the ceremony. Laughter had abounded, the bride and groom had prayed and they'd just had their first kiss as man and wife. The minister said something to the effect of, "In this ceremony you've done 3 of the most crucial things a husband and wife can do together. Laugh together, pray together and kiss often."
If such is the case, I can't see a reason in the world why Nick and Amanda would ever have reason to struggle. How I already pray that their marriage is one that will they guard with fervent prayer, laugh about each other's flaws daily and share lingering kisses.
Praise God for new love, new seasons and a home that serves Him with abandon.
*The title of this post is from The Judds' song "Young Love."
I call her MY SANITY and the kids call her Miss Amanda. Several months ago, Miss Amanda got engaged to Nick. It's a close call on who the kids like more, Nick or Amanda. Aaron is crazy about NiCK (emphasis on the CK) and the girls adore Miss Amanda.
Last week I got to pretend to be a photographer for an afternoon. Who were my
Y'all, I'm just so excited about their future. They both love the Lord, Nick will surely prove to be an amazing leader of his home and Amanda is incredibly humble and has the heart of a servant. I couldn't be more ecstatic about what God has in store for them. And my kids are just a teentsy (read: HUMONGOUS) bit excited about their wedding next June.
As I snapped photos of them, I couldn't stop the voices of Wynonna and Naomi Judd from flowing through my mind, hence the title of this post.*
The laughter and smiles were abundant as we strolled around downtown, trying to find interesting places to snap shots. I love this one of them throwing the leaves. And especially the one of them in the doorway. Mercy. So sweet.
It wasn't hard to ask them to lean in closer and give each other tender gazes and small kisses. It took me back to when Luke and I first were engaged and how we just enjoyed each other's company, no matter where we were or what we were doing. Blessedly, that has only continued to grow and I love my man more today than I did nearly 11 years ago, when we first met.
These next 2 are certainly in the top 3 of the whole day. The genuine laughter and the way the sun shines on Amanda's face as she looks into the eyes of her love. Priceless.
I remember being at the wedding of Luke's best friends from high school. We'd only been married 6 or so months ourselves. It was the end of the ceremony. Laughter had abounded, the bride and groom had prayed and they'd just had their first kiss as man and wife. The minister said something to the effect of, "In this ceremony you've done 3 of the most crucial things a husband and wife can do together. Laugh together, pray together and kiss often."
If such is the case, I can't see a reason in the world why Nick and Amanda would ever have reason to struggle. How I already pray that their marriage is one that will they guard with fervent prayer, laugh about each other's flaws daily and share lingering kisses.
Praise God for new love, new seasons and a home that serves Him with abandon.*The title of this post is from The Judds' song "Young Love."
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I won't play along
I really shouldn't even be making time to post this today, but since about 2 days ago it's been on my mind and every time I get on Facebook it flies all over me again.
I try not to make it public (blog) knowledge that I have a facebook account. Mainly because I don't want creepers trying to find out information that I don't want the general public to know by stalking me on FB. But, I just don't think I can sit in silence about this anymore. Maybe some of you will call me rigid or stupid or a religious "holier than thou" church lady.
Frankly, I don't care.
Last year, apparently for October being Breast Cancer Awareness month, I got several messages in my FB inbox asking me to post the color of my bra as my status. I wasn't suppose to say it was the color of my bra, but rather just say the color.
I chose to opt out of that little FB game since my purpose of having FB is to keep in contact with friends and to share about my family, not to air my dirty laundry. Literally.
But this year's "game" I cannot choose to just ignore, especially given that last year I saw several men posting their reactions to the bra game after they realized what was going on.
This year's Breast Cancer Awareness game, again for women only (because the point in these games is to keep men in the dark and make them wonder), is to state where you keep your purse/pocketbook. Except you don't just state the location you also say, "I like it..." in front of the said location. So, now statuses are popping up everywhere such as, "I like it on the table" or "I like it in the closet" or "I like it on my dresser."
I cannot see how as women, who are followers of Jesus, we can simply add this to our status without a second thought. Colossians 3 clearly says that we are to set our minds on things that are above not on things that are on Earth. How can we, as Jesus following women, post such things for men to see, to entice them even, and believe that we are setting our own minds, or even encouraging our fellow men, to focus on what is above?
I know my husband is extremely visual. The protection of our marriage through him focusing his eyes, ears and mind on things that edify our marriage is one of his priorities. Men think about sex, far more than we women do (well, most of us). All men are visual. I'd take a guess that most men who are lovers of Jesus struggle with lust, pornography and other sexual addictions at some point in their life.
Why o why would we women of faith choose to tempt our brothers and fellow believers with such talk?
I just can't justify it. I know, for certain, that I'd not like my husband reading the status' of my friends and where' they'd "like it." So why would I do the same for another woman's husband or fiance or brother who's marriage may already be in jeopardy over such things?
I won't. And I hope that you'll reconsider this yourself as well when you receive offers to play this "game." Truly, meddling in the mind of a married man is not a game I choose to be a participant of.
Unless it's my own man. Then, game on. ;)
Finally, I'd really like for someone to explain to me how this raises awareness for Breast Cancer. I'm ALL FOR finding a cure for one of the leading killers of women but I just fail to see the connection here. Anyone care to enlighten me?
I try not to make it public (blog) knowledge that I have a facebook account. Mainly because I don't want creepers trying to find out information that I don't want the general public to know by stalking me on FB. But, I just don't think I can sit in silence about this anymore. Maybe some of you will call me rigid or stupid or a religious "holier than thou" church lady.
Frankly, I don't care.
Last year, apparently for October being Breast Cancer Awareness month, I got several messages in my FB inbox asking me to post the color of my bra as my status. I wasn't suppose to say it was the color of my bra, but rather just say the color.
I chose to opt out of that little FB game since my purpose of having FB is to keep in contact with friends and to share about my family, not to air my dirty laundry. Literally.
But this year's "game" I cannot choose to just ignore, especially given that last year I saw several men posting their reactions to the bra game after they realized what was going on.
This year's Breast Cancer Awareness game, again for women only (because the point in these games is to keep men in the dark and make them wonder), is to state where you keep your purse/pocketbook. Except you don't just state the location you also say, "I like it..." in front of the said location. So, now statuses are popping up everywhere such as, "I like it on the table" or "I like it in the closet" or "I like it on my dresser."
I cannot see how as women, who are followers of Jesus, we can simply add this to our status without a second thought. Colossians 3 clearly says that we are to set our minds on things that are above not on things that are on Earth. How can we, as Jesus following women, post such things for men to see, to entice them even, and believe that we are setting our own minds, or even encouraging our fellow men, to focus on what is above?
I know my husband is extremely visual. The protection of our marriage through him focusing his eyes, ears and mind on things that edify our marriage is one of his priorities. Men think about sex, far more than we women do (well, most of us). All men are visual. I'd take a guess that most men who are lovers of Jesus struggle with lust, pornography and other sexual addictions at some point in their life.
Why o why would we women of faith choose to tempt our brothers and fellow believers with such talk?
I just can't justify it. I know, for certain, that I'd not like my husband reading the status' of my friends and where' they'd "like it." So why would I do the same for another woman's husband or fiance or brother who's marriage may already be in jeopardy over such things?
I won't. And I hope that you'll reconsider this yourself as well when you receive offers to play this "game." Truly, meddling in the mind of a married man is not a game I choose to be a participant of.
Unless it's my own man. Then, game on. ;)
Finally, I'd really like for someone to explain to me how this raises awareness for Breast Cancer. I'm ALL FOR finding a cure for one of the leading killers of women but I just fail to see the connection here. Anyone care to enlighten me?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Being a Mom is tough
I just love this post by Courtney.
She's so right, you know. Being a Mom is tough. And you don't need a qualifier of six (or more) kids to admit that. Being a Mom was tough for me when Elizabeth was just an infant. It was SO tough. And, even though I have 6 times the kids that I had way back then, it continues to be just as challenging, just in different ways.
Being a Mom of 1 is equally as difficult as being a Mom of 5 or 6 or 10. Sure the challenges are different as you welcome more children into your home. But I'd venture to guess that if I could play back for myself a video taped day of me, when we just had Elizabeth, Lucas and Ashlee (half the number of kids I have now) that most of the challenges I faced then, I am still facing.
Just because I've acquired lots of children doesn't mean I've figured out this job of wife and mother. I still struggle to keep my house clean. I still have a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. I still have a hard time cutting out a part of me for my husband at the end of the day. I still struggle to find time in God's word. And those are just a few of my many, many struggles. I could go on but I won't because that's not my intention for this post.
The point is, being a Mom is tough.
And all too often, we Moms don't make it easy on ourselves or each other. We impose judgment and cast disapproving glances at one another. We compare ourselves to someone who appears to have it all together and then beat ourselves up over our perceived flaws. We see Mothers who have perfect children and then wrestle with our own kids, begging them, if only in our minds, to be like so-and-so. We wonder why in the world that Mother made that choice with her child and then we wait to see if it will backfire on her.
Being a Mom around other Moms is tough.
Why do we do that to ourselves and to each other? Why don't we just encourage each other and grow with each other rather than playing this game of compare and contrast?
I think it's because we are too afraid of other people seeing our faults and then, later, using them against us. At least that's how I feel. Sometimes I'm too afraid to admit that I haven't dusted since we moved (which was March 1st, if you're keeping track). Sometimes I'm too concerned with the comments I'll get if I admit that I want to get into the car and drive away, in any direction other than my house, without my children in the backseats. Because, after all, it was my choice to have all these kids, wasn't it?
But I'm not perfect. And, I'd guess that you aren't either. And I'd even go further to say that I bet you and I struggle with the exact same things most days. Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, whether you have 1 kid or you have 12 kids, I'd guess that at the end of the day you and I both (finally) sit down and think, "Crap! I can't believe I didn't get ___________ again today!" (Insert: the laundry done, my quiet time, my house cleaned, that project finished etc, etc, etc.)
Life is hard and being a Mom makes it that much more.
So, I'd like to use this post for us Moms (or Dads, if any actually read and want to comment) to encourage each other. I'd like for us to openly uplift each other and, in turn, recognize an area that we are struggling. I'm not asking for deep, dark secrets just the average. Just give me something of surface value if nothing else.
Here are the rules...First you list a way you are struggling to fulfill your role as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. It doesn't have to be a deep, personal something just an everyday struggle.
THEN,
you list a way that you think that you are rockin' it as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. Feel free to also add a note of advice or encouragement to a commenter before you. But be sure to end on the positive, mmmkay?
For example, if someone above me in the comments said that they were struggling to find a way to NOT loose socks in the laundry I might offer to them what I have found is currently working for our family.
Which is..I've started taking a mesh, lingerie bag and hanging it beside the dirty laundry basket. EVERY SINGLE SOCK that does not belong to myself or my husband goes into the bag. When it's full, I zip it and toss it in the next load of laundry. At the end, all the socks SHOULD be in the bag. Unless your dryer really does eat socks, then you're in a heap of trouble.
Then I tell you how I'm struggling...
I can't figure out a way to stay on top of folding and putting away clean laundry. It just accumulates in a steadypile mountain on our love seat.
And how I'm rockin' it...
I didn't feed my kids McDonald's more than once last week (See, I told you it could be simple!)
or the more profound might be that Luke and I are in the process of purging our house of unnecessary clothing and toys and CRAP and it feels oh-so-good.
See? Simple. And I really know I could use some encouragement and some counsel on all the challenges that come with being a Mom.
So, ladies (or gents) what do you say? Are you in? I sure hope so because I'm already looking forward to your comments! I need to know I'm not the only imperfect Mother and I could sure glean from your wisdom.
She's so right, you know. Being a Mom is tough. And you don't need a qualifier of six (or more) kids to admit that. Being a Mom was tough for me when Elizabeth was just an infant. It was SO tough. And, even though I have 6 times the kids that I had way back then, it continues to be just as challenging, just in different ways.
Being a Mom of 1 is equally as difficult as being a Mom of 5 or 6 or 10. Sure the challenges are different as you welcome more children into your home. But I'd venture to guess that if I could play back for myself a video taped day of me, when we just had Elizabeth, Lucas and Ashlee (half the number of kids I have now) that most of the challenges I faced then, I am still facing.
Just because I've acquired lots of children doesn't mean I've figured out this job of wife and mother. I still struggle to keep my house clean. I still have a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. I still have a hard time cutting out a part of me for my husband at the end of the day. I still struggle to find time in God's word. And those are just a few of my many, many struggles. I could go on but I won't because that's not my intention for this post.
The point is, being a Mom is tough.
And all too often, we Moms don't make it easy on ourselves or each other. We impose judgment and cast disapproving glances at one another. We compare ourselves to someone who appears to have it all together and then beat ourselves up over our perceived flaws. We see Mothers who have perfect children and then wrestle with our own kids, begging them, if only in our minds, to be like so-and-so. We wonder why in the world that Mother made that choice with her child and then we wait to see if it will backfire on her.
Being a Mom around other Moms is tough.
Why do we do that to ourselves and to each other? Why don't we just encourage each other and grow with each other rather than playing this game of compare and contrast?
I think it's because we are too afraid of other people seeing our faults and then, later, using them against us. At least that's how I feel. Sometimes I'm too afraid to admit that I haven't dusted since we moved (which was March 1st, if you're keeping track). Sometimes I'm too concerned with the comments I'll get if I admit that I want to get into the car and drive away, in any direction other than my house, without my children in the backseats. Because, after all, it was my choice to have all these kids, wasn't it?
But I'm not perfect. And, I'd guess that you aren't either. And I'd even go further to say that I bet you and I struggle with the exact same things most days. Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, whether you have 1 kid or you have 12 kids, I'd guess that at the end of the day you and I both (finally) sit down and think, "Crap! I can't believe I didn't get ___________ again today!" (Insert: the laundry done, my quiet time, my house cleaned, that project finished etc, etc, etc.)
Life is hard and being a Mom makes it that much more.
So, I'd like to use this post for us Moms (or Dads, if any actually read and want to comment) to encourage each other. I'd like for us to openly uplift each other and, in turn, recognize an area that we are struggling. I'm not asking for deep, dark secrets just the average. Just give me something of surface value if nothing else.
Here are the rules...First you list a way you are struggling to fulfill your role as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. It doesn't have to be a deep, personal something just an everyday struggle.
THEN,
you list a way that you think that you are rockin' it as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. Feel free to also add a note of advice or encouragement to a commenter before you. But be sure to end on the positive, mmmkay?
For example, if someone above me in the comments said that they were struggling to find a way to NOT loose socks in the laundry I might offer to them what I have found is currently working for our family.
Which is..I've started taking a mesh, lingerie bag and hanging it beside the dirty laundry basket. EVERY SINGLE SOCK that does not belong to myself or my husband goes into the bag. When it's full, I zip it and toss it in the next load of laundry. At the end, all the socks SHOULD be in the bag. Unless your dryer really does eat socks, then you're in a heap of trouble.
Then I tell you how I'm struggling...
I can't figure out a way to stay on top of folding and putting away clean laundry. It just accumulates in a steady
And how I'm rockin' it...
I didn't feed my kids McDonald's more than once last week (See, I told you it could be simple!)
or the more profound might be that Luke and I are in the process of purging our house of unnecessary clothing and toys and CRAP and it feels oh-so-good.
See? Simple. And I really know I could use some encouragement and some counsel on all the challenges that come with being a Mom.
So, ladies (or gents) what do you say? Are you in? I sure hope so because I'm already looking forward to your comments! I need to know I'm not the only imperfect Mother and I could sure glean from your wisdom.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
A Date
This past week has been pretty exhausting for me. I think being 34ish weeks pregnant and having 5 kids is starting to catch up with me.
Actually, I just think being 34ish weeks pregnant is starting to catch up with me. Seriously, I think God should have rethought the whole gestation thing. I mean, once you've had your 1st baby, I think He should have made each subsequent gestation period shorter. It just makes sense. I know what's coming, why drag it out?
Also, can someone please tell me why EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for the last 6 weeks I wake up with a soreness that feels like I just rode a horse for the very first time the day before?
How I love my pelvic floor. NOT.
I blame Lucas and Ashlee profusely.
At any rate, I'm tired. I'm tired all the time. I'm tired when I wake up in the mornings, I'm tired when I pour bowls of cereal, I'm tired after I bend over to pick up the whatever I've just dropped for the 4,287th time.
I'm tired people.
But yesterday, for about 5 hours, I totally forgot how tired I was. I woke up yesterday, tired, and waddled to the bathroom. Then I waddled to find our laptop, opened it and found a note inside from my husband.
Tender words were written about how much he appreciated me.
"Awwwww," my little heart fluttered. So sweet.
I round up the troops and head them into the kitchen for breakfast. I pour bowls of cereal and myself a cup of coffee and reach into the cabinet to grab some new caramel flavoring I've fallen in love with. In front of the caramel is another little note, written in my husband's chicken scratch handwriting, telling me how much he appreciates me trying harder to keep the house picked up.
"Geeeee," my little brain thinks, "he sure is being a sweet man today!"
I continue through my morning of Occupational Therapy for Baby Girl and Elizabeth and I scoot out the door around noon to head out to my 34 week OB appointment.
When I get to the OB's office the secretary hands me a little envelope with my name written on it, in my husband's chicken scratch handwriting.
"Really?" I think, "How incredibly thoughtful!"
Did I mention that so far I've gotten a little teary eyed with each note (I blame pregnancy hormones)? Well, when I read the note my man left for me at the OB's office the tears start flowing.
Elizabeth asks me to read it out loud to her so I do, still teary and she says, "That Daddy! He's such a sweetheart!"
We both laugh and I tuck the card into my purse.
After the OB appointment, Elizabeth and I grab some lunch and quickly head over to the hair salon where I have an appointment. When I walk in, my personal beauty consultant hands me another card, again written by my husband.
I mean, he's earned about 1,157 gold stars for the day. I'm just so impressed with his thoughtfulness and care.
After my hair is cut an my face is melted off with hot wax, Elizabeth and I make one last stop for princess shoes and children's benadryl. While in the store, Luke calls and I thank him for his tenderness. He asks to speak to Elizabeth.
As I pay for our purchases (which ended up also including a stretchy plastic snake and a recorder - you know, like a flute) she finishes her conversation with Luke.
When we arrive home I remind Elizabeth of her conversation with Luke and she immediately launches into a full search of our laundry room. She recovers a note, hidden by my husband.
In the note I find directions to get dressed and be ready to leave our house at 4:45pm, ALONE. I spiffy myself up, pass off the evening's parenting duties to my Mom and Grandmother and crawl into mylittle red sportscar 15 passenger van waiting in the driveway.
I meet Luke at his office and think to myself that even if he takes me to Burger King for dinner it's been a wonderful date.
We have a NICE dinner and relaxing evening just hanging out together which also involved me crushing him in a game of NFL football on the Xbox display inside Best Buy. (He was getting trashed talked by a 8 year old who was watching our game. "You're getting beat by a GIRL!" the 8 year old taunted. And I egged on.)
We had ice cream at Cold Stone.
Then we drove home. It was awesome.
And, even though the kids and I skipped CBS today because I was so tired this morning, somehow today, I'm a little less tired.
Actually, I just think being 34ish weeks pregnant is starting to catch up with me. Seriously, I think God should have rethought the whole gestation thing. I mean, once you've had your 1st baby, I think He should have made each subsequent gestation period shorter. It just makes sense. I know what's coming, why drag it out?
Also, can someone please tell me why EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. for the last 6 weeks I wake up with a soreness that feels like I just rode a horse for the very first time the day before?
How I love my pelvic floor. NOT.
I blame Lucas and Ashlee profusely.
At any rate, I'm tired. I'm tired all the time. I'm tired when I wake up in the mornings, I'm tired when I pour bowls of cereal, I'm tired after I bend over to pick up the whatever I've just dropped for the 4,287th time.
I'm tired people.
But yesterday, for about 5 hours, I totally forgot how tired I was. I woke up yesterday, tired, and waddled to the bathroom. Then I waddled to find our laptop, opened it and found a note inside from my husband.
Tender words were written about how much he appreciated me.
"Awwwww," my little heart fluttered. So sweet.
I round up the troops and head them into the kitchen for breakfast. I pour bowls of cereal and myself a cup of coffee and reach into the cabinet to grab some new caramel flavoring I've fallen in love with. In front of the caramel is another little note, written in my husband's chicken scratch handwriting, telling me how much he appreciates me trying harder to keep the house picked up.
"Geeeee," my little brain thinks, "he sure is being a sweet man today!"
I continue through my morning of Occupational Therapy for Baby Girl and Elizabeth and I scoot out the door around noon to head out to my 34 week OB appointment.
When I get to the OB's office the secretary hands me a little envelope with my name written on it, in my husband's chicken scratch handwriting.
"Really?" I think, "How incredibly thoughtful!"
Did I mention that so far I've gotten a little teary eyed with each note (I blame pregnancy hormones)? Well, when I read the note my man left for me at the OB's office the tears start flowing.
Elizabeth asks me to read it out loud to her so I do, still teary and she says, "That Daddy! He's such a sweetheart!"
We both laugh and I tuck the card into my purse.
After the OB appointment, Elizabeth and I grab some lunch and quickly head over to the hair salon where I have an appointment. When I walk in, my personal beauty consultant hands me another card, again written by my husband.
I mean, he's earned about 1,157 gold stars for the day. I'm just so impressed with his thoughtfulness and care.
After my hair is cut an my face is melted off with hot wax, Elizabeth and I make one last stop for princess shoes and children's benadryl. While in the store, Luke calls and I thank him for his tenderness. He asks to speak to Elizabeth.
As I pay for our purchases (which ended up also including a stretchy plastic snake and a recorder - you know, like a flute) she finishes her conversation with Luke.
When we arrive home I remind Elizabeth of her conversation with Luke and she immediately launches into a full search of our laundry room. She recovers a note, hidden by my husband.
In the note I find directions to get dressed and be ready to leave our house at 4:45pm, ALONE. I spiffy myself up, pass off the evening's parenting duties to my Mom and Grandmother and crawl into my
I meet Luke at his office and think to myself that even if he takes me to Burger King for dinner it's been a wonderful date.
We have a NICE dinner and relaxing evening just hanging out together which also involved me crushing him in a game of NFL football on the Xbox display inside Best Buy. (He was getting trashed talked by a 8 year old who was watching our game. "You're getting beat by a GIRL!" the 8 year old taunted. And I egged on.)
We had ice cream at Cold Stone.
Then we drove home. It was awesome.
And, even though the kids and I skipped CBS today because I was so tired this morning, somehow today, I'm a little less tired.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
He's good holy to me
Seven years ago today I was sipping tropical drinks, pool-side in Cancun preparing to welcome in 2003. I had a shiny new wedding band on my finger and my handsome, new husband by my side. We had just experienced a 3 day whirlwind wedding weekend. I felt on top of the world.
Could it seriously get any better?
Little did I know that it could and, because of God's grace, it would.
You see, if you've read our story, you know that at this newly-married point in my life, an intimate relationship with Christ was something that I did not possess. In fact, I felt confident that because Luke and I had made it through some pretty tough times on our own, we really didn't need anything or anyone else helping us out.
We rung in 2003 with smiles on our faces and hope for our future. I am so glad that God's plans for our marriage were so much better than our plans for our marriage. I'm so very, very glad.
Seven years later I think about the naive, young wife that stood in front of a crowded church and promised to love, honor and obey the man in front of her. And today, I am so blessed by the handsome, not-so-new husband I continue to be paired with. I've blogged much about Luke but what I would like to add here is above anything I have ever realized before. About 2 weeks ago, while were in in the midst of a vacation that proved to be incredibly stressful, I had never thought of my husband in this way. And since this revelation, I have yet to be able to see him as anything else.
It is often that people see me with all of our children and they ask, "Girl, how do you do it?" While I think that there are many answers to this question, my most common two responses are,
"God gives you what you need."
and
"I am blessed to be married to Luke. He's excessively good to me."
But now, I realize that I need to have a change in my reference of my husband. He is not excessively good to me. Rather, he is excessively HOLY to me. There is a huge difference and if you're still with me, I'd like to explain.
According to Ephesians 5 a wife is called to submit to her husband as the head of the home. In turn, a husband is commanded to "love your wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" and to "love your wife as your own body."
I think so often we (I) get so hung up on the submit part that I gloss over God's command for husbands. Can I just tell you that it is remarkably easy to submit to a man who is loving you as himself? As his own flesh?
It is. Let me show you by examples in action.
When Luke and I run out of contact solution and we are down to 1 final bottle, after he uses it in the morning he will move the contact solution across the bathroom so that it is beside my sink when I'm ready for it.
When I buy new flavored creamer for my coffee, Luke will remove the paper seal under the cap when he pours his own coffee in the morning. Luke doesn't used flavored coffee creamer. He does this just for me.
When we were driving into Memphis 2 weeks ago and I just knew that I was right in my directing him to take a "shorter" route through his hometown, he quietly obliged me and allowed us to take a one hour detour through the most interesting parts of town. All because he didn't want to argue with me after 15.5 hours in the car.
He turns the coffee pot back on before he leaves so that it won't automatically shut off on me and I'm left with cold coffee.
He allows me to be mean and nasty and rude to him and then offers to rub my back because he can see I've had a bad day.
He forgives quickly often before I ever even ask.
He's slow to anger and prays for me fervently.
There is so much more but I think you're getting the picture. He loves me like his own flesh. He gives of himself just as Christ gave of himself for his church.
He's more than good to me. He's HOLY to me.
Even though I don't deserve it. Even though I'm selfish. Even though I am rarely holy back.
And since I've realized just how holy my husband is toward me I see it everywhere, in all that he does. And I realize that in the last seven years I have blessed by a man who often goes unrecognized in the little things. I have been paired with a man who desires to love me despite my unworthiness of his love.
And, most importantly, I have realized that when people ask me, "How do you do it?" my new response will most surely have to be,
"I am blessed to be married to Luke. He's excessively HOLY to me."
Happy 7th Anniversary Luke! I love you beyond anything I am capable of understanding.
Could it seriously get any better?
Little did I know that it could and, because of God's grace, it would.
You see, if you've read our story, you know that at this newly-married point in my life, an intimate relationship with Christ was something that I did not possess. In fact, I felt confident that because Luke and I had made it through some pretty tough times on our own, we really didn't need anything or anyone else helping us out.
We rung in 2003 with smiles on our faces and hope for our future. I am so glad that God's plans for our marriage were so much better than our plans for our marriage. I'm so very, very glad.Seven years later I think about the naive, young wife that stood in front of a crowded church and promised to love, honor and obey the man in front of her. And today, I am so blessed by the handsome, not-so-new husband I continue to be paired with. I've blogged much about Luke but what I would like to add here is above anything I have ever realized before. About 2 weeks ago, while were in in the midst of a vacation that proved to be incredibly stressful, I had never thought of my husband in this way. And since this revelation, I have yet to be able to see him as anything else.
It is often that people see me with all of our children and they ask, "Girl, how do you do it?" While I think that there are many answers to this question, my most common two responses are,
"God gives you what you need."
and
"I am blessed to be married to Luke. He's excessively good to me."
But now, I realize that I need to have a change in my reference of my husband. He is not excessively good to me. Rather, he is excessively HOLY to me. There is a huge difference and if you're still with me, I'd like to explain.
According to Ephesians 5 a wife is called to submit to her husband as the head of the home. In turn, a husband is commanded to "love your wife, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" and to "love your wife as your own body."
I think so often we (I) get so hung up on the submit part that I gloss over God's command for husbands. Can I just tell you that it is remarkably easy to submit to a man who is loving you as himself? As his own flesh?
It is. Let me show you by examples in action.
When Luke and I run out of contact solution and we are down to 1 final bottle, after he uses it in the morning he will move the contact solution across the bathroom so that it is beside my sink when I'm ready for it.
When I buy new flavored creamer for my coffee, Luke will remove the paper seal under the cap when he pours his own coffee in the morning. Luke doesn't used flavored coffee creamer. He does this just for me.
When we were driving into Memphis 2 weeks ago and I just knew that I was right in my directing him to take a "shorter" route through his hometown, he quietly obliged me and allowed us to take a one hour detour through the most interesting parts of town. All because he didn't want to argue with me after 15.5 hours in the car.
He turns the coffee pot back on before he leaves so that it won't automatically shut off on me and I'm left with cold coffee.
He allows me to be mean and nasty and rude to him and then offers to rub my back because he can see I've had a bad day.
He forgives quickly often before I ever even ask.
He's slow to anger and prays for me fervently.
There is so much more but I think you're getting the picture. He loves me like his own flesh. He gives of himself just as Christ gave of himself for his church.
He's more than good to me. He's HOLY to me.
Even though I don't deserve it. Even though I'm selfish. Even though I am rarely holy back.
And since I've realized just how holy my husband is toward me I see it everywhere, in all that he does. And I realize that in the last seven years I have blessed by a man who often goes unrecognized in the little things. I have been paired with a man who desires to love me despite my unworthiness of his love.
And, most importantly, I have realized that when people ask me, "How do you do it?" my new response will most surely have to be,
"I am blessed to be married to Luke. He's excessively HOLY to me."
Happy 7th Anniversary Luke! I love you beyond anything I am capable of understanding.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Video killed the radio star, or something like that...
Some of you who know me IRL (in real life) may already know this. But whether you know me IRL or only virtually, I have something to tell you.
I can't listen to secular music.
Notice I didn't say I shouldn't, or that I don't want to. It's just that I can't.
It's not because I think that secular music is un-Christian. In fact, I love me some Carrie Underwood (at least her first album after her American Idol win). And, that Apple Bottom song is pretty good too (Plus, Luke will drop-it-like-its-hot to that song. And this youtube clip of that red-headed kid dancing to it just CRACKS me up.).
And just the other night we turned on the radio in our living room and all 7 of us had a super fun dance party. We rocked it out to some Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" and even some new, funky music that I'm sure all the hip teenagers are listening to these days.
So, it's not that I think Christians shouldn't listen to secular music. It's just that I can't.
You see, before I married my husband I made choices about my life that didn't involve God or prayer or guidance from Godly counsel.
Some of those were good choices, like my decision that a wallet with a chain should probably be eliminated from my wardrobe. Yeah, I'm serious.
Some of those were bad choices. Like the choice to give my body to the guys I dated. Choices to live for the moment and not think about my future husband.
In high school, I really believed that I was going to marry the guys I dated. I really believed that if I was going to marry them anyway, why not go ahead and do the things married people do?
In college I enjoyed the good time I had with whoever I could have it with. The thoughts of how it would effect me, my marriage and even my children 10 years later never even occurred to me. I mean, whoever I married would have baggage too, right?
And isn't that what the world leads us to believe? I was watching a late night show the other night and one of the (female) guests said that she thought that people should just have sex before they ever went on their first date. That way, if the sex was bad, they wouldn't waste their time dating. She thought this was an excellent idea for everyone, except her two teenage daughters.
I wonder why her views changed when she thought of her own children? Perhaps she too knows why I can't listen to secular music.
For me scanning the radio dial is dangerous territory. Since it's been quite a while since I've listened to anything other than my iPod or Christian radio, I know very few new songs. So you'd think that the general radio would be safe, huh?
Notsomuch.
You see, it wasn't too long ago that I thought I could give the radio a try. I turned it on to our local New Music station and began listening. The first few songs were okay.
Then it happened. They played an oldie-but-goodie.
At first I was like, "Oh! I like this song!" But then, I remembered. I remember who he was and how I felt about him. I remembered what he smelled like and how I gave myself to him.
He was not husband. Thoughts and memories came back to me that I had thought I had forgotten. I snap back to reality when one of my children calls for me from the back of the van. The rest of the day I spend fighting off thoughts of him and what we did.
I'm totally serious. It's that bad and it doesn't bring blessings and warm fuzzies to my marriage.
I do have fond memories too that are evoked by songs. Sweet Home Alabama will always make me giggle and want to stand on a chair (500 points to the first person who knows why and can say so TACTFULLY in the comment section). Brown Eyed Girl will never be sung the same and will always have my sorority's twist on it. And the Dixie Chicks' first album will forever remind me of my first semester in college and the freedom I felt being on my own. Plus, Salt-n-Peppa will forever make me wanna Shoop.
So maybe it's dramatic for me to seclude my self from the secular music world. I'm sure there are many other secular songs that would evoke fond memories of my past. But in all honesty, it just too dangerous.
Why would I risk having a mental affair with someone I should have never been involved with in the first place? Why would I want to risk lowering my husband in my eyes because of a "good" memory (that is probably skewed) with another man?
I can't find a single reason why. Hopefully, your past is less tainted than mine. Hopefully the radio doesn't send you into a tailspin of emotion from years past.
But for me, my past killed my ability to freely listen to the radio. It has killed my ability to be hip and cool and know the newest Black Eyed Peas song. But I'm guessing that even if I knew the lyrics, I wouldn't be that cool anyway.
I can't listen to secular music.
Notice I didn't say I shouldn't, or that I don't want to. It's just that I can't.
It's not because I think that secular music is un-Christian. In fact, I love me some Carrie Underwood (at least her first album after her American Idol win). And, that Apple Bottom song is pretty good too (Plus, Luke will drop-it-like-its-hot to that song. And this youtube clip of that red-headed kid dancing to it just CRACKS me up.).
And just the other night we turned on the radio in our living room and all 7 of us had a super fun dance party. We rocked it out to some Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" and even some new, funky music that I'm sure all the hip teenagers are listening to these days.
So, it's not that I think Christians shouldn't listen to secular music. It's just that I can't.
You see, before I married my husband I made choices about my life that didn't involve God or prayer or guidance from Godly counsel.
Some of those were good choices, like my decision that a wallet with a chain should probably be eliminated from my wardrobe. Yeah, I'm serious.
Some of those were bad choices. Like the choice to give my body to the guys I dated. Choices to live for the moment and not think about my future husband.
In high school, I really believed that I was going to marry the guys I dated. I really believed that if I was going to marry them anyway, why not go ahead and do the things married people do?
In college I enjoyed the good time I had with whoever I could have it with. The thoughts of how it would effect me, my marriage and even my children 10 years later never even occurred to me. I mean, whoever I married would have baggage too, right?
And isn't that what the world leads us to believe? I was watching a late night show the other night and one of the (female) guests said that she thought that people should just have sex before they ever went on their first date. That way, if the sex was bad, they wouldn't waste their time dating. She thought this was an excellent idea for everyone, except her two teenage daughters.
I wonder why her views changed when she thought of her own children? Perhaps she too knows why I can't listen to secular music.
For me scanning the radio dial is dangerous territory. Since it's been quite a while since I've listened to anything other than my iPod or Christian radio, I know very few new songs. So you'd think that the general radio would be safe, huh?
Notsomuch.
You see, it wasn't too long ago that I thought I could give the radio a try. I turned it on to our local New Music station and began listening. The first few songs were okay.
Then it happened. They played an oldie-but-goodie.
At first I was like, "Oh! I like this song!" But then, I remembered. I remember who he was and how I felt about him. I remembered what he smelled like and how I gave myself to him.
He was not husband. Thoughts and memories came back to me that I had thought I had forgotten. I snap back to reality when one of my children calls for me from the back of the van. The rest of the day I spend fighting off thoughts of him and what we did.
I'm totally serious. It's that bad and it doesn't bring blessings and warm fuzzies to my marriage.
I do have fond memories too that are evoked by songs. Sweet Home Alabama will always make me giggle and want to stand on a chair (500 points to the first person who knows why and can say so TACTFULLY in the comment section). Brown Eyed Girl will never be sung the same and will always have my sorority's twist on it. And the Dixie Chicks' first album will forever remind me of my first semester in college and the freedom I felt being on my own. Plus, Salt-n-Peppa will forever make me wanna Shoop.
So maybe it's dramatic for me to seclude my self from the secular music world. I'm sure there are many other secular songs that would evoke fond memories of my past. But in all honesty, it just too dangerous.
Why would I risk having a mental affair with someone I should have never been involved with in the first place? Why would I want to risk lowering my husband in my eyes because of a "good" memory (that is probably skewed) with another man?
I can't find a single reason why. Hopefully, your past is less tainted than mine. Hopefully the radio doesn't send you into a tailspin of emotion from years past.
But for me, my past killed my ability to freely listen to the radio. It has killed my ability to be hip and cool and know the newest Black Eyed Peas song. But I'm guessing that even if I knew the lyrics, I wouldn't be that cool anyway.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sneak Peek: Vacation Pictures
We are back. It was beautiful, snowy morning when we drove down the mountain, on our way home. The snowiest day that we had seen, which made it bittersweet to leave. We were thrilled to see the kids, and each of them provided heartwarming smiles and squeals when we saw them.
I have a big post coming, with many, many more pics, but it may take me a few days to get everything reorganized and my thoughts gathered. In the meantime, enjoy these few. I promise there are MANY more where these came from.
I have a big post coming, with many, many more pics, but it may take me a few days to get everything reorganized and my thoughts gathered. In the meantime, enjoy these few. I promise there are MANY more where these came from.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Mountain Photography: 101
In our quest for breathtaking mountain views (and free internet) we found a place to pull over on the side of the road, hoping to enjoy God's amazing creation and each other's company.
We decided it would be a perfect place for a photo opp, and instead of the regular camera-at-arms-length self portrait, we thought we'd try to prop the camera on top of the car. It is with our new self photography skills that we offer you the following photography tips, incase you're ever in need.
Tip #1) Ensure that the camera is zoomed all the way out, before you take your first picture:
Tip # 2) While recovering from hysterical laughter after viewing the previously pictured...er, picture, make sure that you remember to RE-set the self timer.
Tip #3) Get the zoom right, and even though you can see the hood of the car, realize that this is as good as it's gonna get.
Tip #4) Realize that the beauty of God's magnificent creation is the best subject on which to focus the camera.
We decided it would be a perfect place for a photo opp, and instead of the regular camera-at-arms-length self portrait, we thought we'd try to prop the camera on top of the car. It is with our new self photography skills that we offer you the following photography tips, incase you're ever in need.
Tip #1) Ensure that the camera is zoomed all the way out, before you take your first picture:
Tip # 2) While recovering from hysterical laughter after viewing the previously pictured...er, picture, make sure that you remember to RE-set the self timer.
Tip #3) Get the zoom right, and even though you can see the hood of the car, realize that this is as good as it's gonna get.
Tip #4) Realize that the beauty of God's magnificent creation is the best subject on which to focus the camera.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
36 Hours of Cold Weather Heaven
We've been on our Mountain Vacation almost 36 hours, and already we are feeling relaxed. This morning, we slept until 11am and I woke up, for the first time in a LONG time before Luke, all on my own, feeling refreshed and ready to face the bitterly cold temps. Yes, a seriously cold 37 degrees F. Yes, I know some of you Northerners consider this summer weather, but us thin-skinned southerners think we are facing blizzard-like temps. Especially my fair skinned, red-headed husband, whose self deemed "Cold-Meter" says it's too cold if he "can see his breath."
Yeah, I'm serious.
We checked into our precious little condo, consistent of 1 room (plus a bathroom) that holds the bed, kitchen and "living area" all a quaint 300 square feet. It is seriously the cutest thing I've ever seen. Here are a few quick pictures to tide you over. I don't know how often I will be able to post, as we are currently at a delightful little italian bar and grill eating lunch andstealing using their WiFi.
Our delightful mountain bungalow (do they call mountain places bungalows?) and my Man.
Whilst taking the above picture my back is to
the kitchen.
Yeah, I'm serious.
We checked into our precious little condo, consistent of 1 room (plus a bathroom) that holds the bed, kitchen and "living area" all a quaint 300 square feet. It is seriously the cutest thing I've ever seen. Here are a few quick pictures to tide you over. I don't know how often I will be able to post, as we are currently at a delightful little italian bar and grill eating lunch and
Our delightful mountain bungalow (do they call mountain places bungalows?) and my Man.
Whilst taking the above picture my back is to
the kitchen.Before going in for some lunch, we snapped this quick picture of the slopes we are about to ski on.
Oh yeah, can you say Tylenol for dinner?
Oh yeah, can you say Tylenol for dinner?Saturday, January 31, 2009
Cool Treat...Comin' Right Up!
Thanks to those of you who offered up some prayer about the vacation I mentioned. May I elaborate? (Of course I can, it's my blog.)
You see, several months ago, Luke and I went in with some friends and "bid" on a week long vacation in the mountains. It was a silent auction and benefit dinner for our friends, Chris and Lindy, who were about to leave for the mission field.
We won the auction, ecstatic at the awesome price we paid. However, God sure is a funny fellow (can I call God a fellow?..I'm guessing He'd be okay with that, we're tight like that).
LOTS has changed since that evening in April. For starters, we've added Baby D and Baby Girl to our home and our friendsare past the point of being ready to meet their first bundle of joy are eager to meet their first baby boy, who is due a week from Monday.
Needless to say, coordinating a time for the four of us to get away isn't going to happen in the next 5 years. So, it with great pains that Luke and I will endure a week long vacation, ALONE, in the wonderful North Carolina mountains skiing, hiking and just hanging out!
We've been saying for a while now that we need to get away, for longer than just a few hours, and spend some quality time investing in our marriage. Well, the time has come...or it will in about 2 weeks!
I called today and confirmed the reservation and I've all but got all 5 kids' care covered. Luke and I NEED time away. Plus, it's already paid for...woohoo!
So, thanks for the prayers earlier this week (all you faithful prayin' people), and thanks Chris and Lindy for becoming missionaries and giving us a great excuse to bid on a vacation we would have otherwise never bought. I know you did it all for us, didn't you?
You see, several months ago, Luke and I went in with some friends and "bid" on a week long vacation in the mountains. It was a silent auction and benefit dinner for our friends, Chris and Lindy, who were about to leave for the mission field.
We won the auction, ecstatic at the awesome price we paid. However, God sure is a funny fellow (can I call God a fellow?..I'm guessing He'd be okay with that, we're tight like that).
LOTS has changed since that evening in April. For starters, we've added Baby D and Baby Girl to our home and our friends
Needless to say, coordinating a time for the four of us to get away isn't going to happen in the next 5 years. So, it with great pains that Luke and I will endure a week long vacation, ALONE, in the wonderful North Carolina mountains skiing, hiking and just hanging out!
We've been saying for a while now that we need to get away, for longer than just a few hours, and spend some quality time investing in our marriage. Well, the time has come...or it will in about 2 weeks!
I called today and confirmed the reservation and I've all but got all 5 kids' care covered. Luke and I NEED time away. Plus, it's already paid for...woohoo!
So, thanks for the prayers earlier this week (all you faithful prayin' people), and thanks Chris and Lindy for becoming missionaries and giving us a great excuse to bid on a vacation we would have otherwise never bought. I know you did it all for us, didn't you?
Sunday, December 28, 2008
The Other Side
Six years ago, almost to this very hour, I stood behind 2 solid, wood doors. My heart was fluttering and my eyes misty. As I stood there, with my arm looped through my Dad's, I had no idea what awaited me on the other side. Although the physical journey on the other side of those doors was just a short walk down the aisle, the memories, relationships and love that have been formed from that day to this have exceeded my wildest expectations.
The doors flung open and there stood my love, dressed in a perfect tuxedo, surrounded by our family and friends. Funny thing now, but I barely remember the long anticipated journey down the aisle to become his wife. I can hardly remember any of the details that seemed so important on that day. Time and distance has separated us from many of the people we asked to join us in our wedding party.
I wonder now, how might our marriage be better, closer and more holy if I had focused all my energy on becoming a Godly wife rather than a blushing bride. And although God's mercy and grace has proven to be the key ingredient in our wonderful marriage, I can only mourn for the days that I was so wrapped up in this world that I could hardly see my Lord beckoning me to Him.
It's only been 6 years, which seems like such a short time compared to some marriages. However, in those 6 years God has so richly blessed us with 5 healthy, wonderful children. He has blessed us financially, with way more than we could ever need. He has blessed me with a husband who desires to serve Him. He has shown me that a Biblical marriage is worth working for and submission is a beautiful thing.
As I think back to myself, the me of 6 years ago standing behind 2 wooden doors, I am so humbled at the way God has changed my heart and my life. I praise the One who had used our messed up story and turned it into something for His glory. I praise Him because He changed me, and us, to make our marriage last and become something functional.
As I watch the doors fling open on the rest of our life and the years to come, I'm still a lot like that bride of 6 years ago. I can see the place I am suppose to walk, I see the goals and dreams and fears that lie ahead. However, this time I have my arm looped through the Father's, and a Godly man already at my side. I am so honored and blessed to have shared the last 6 years with this man. And as we take steps into an unknown future, I rest assured that God is directing our steps and leading our lives.
Happy Anniversary Honey! I love you so very, very much.
The doors flung open and there stood my love, dressed in a perfect tuxedo, surrounded by our family and friends. Funny thing now, but I barely remember the long anticipated journey down the aisle to become his wife. I can hardly remember any of the details that seemed so important on that day. Time and distance has separated us from many of the people we asked to join us in our wedding party.
I wonder now, how might our marriage be better, closer and more holy if I had focused all my energy on becoming a Godly wife rather than a blushing bride. And although God's mercy and grace has proven to be the key ingredient in our wonderful marriage, I can only mourn for the days that I was so wrapped up in this world that I could hardly see my Lord beckoning me to Him.
It's only been 6 years, which seems like such a short time compared to some marriages. However, in those 6 years God has so richly blessed us with 5 healthy, wonderful children. He has blessed us financially, with way more than we could ever need. He has blessed me with a husband who desires to serve Him. He has shown me that a Biblical marriage is worth working for and submission is a beautiful thing.
As I think back to myself, the me of 6 years ago standing behind 2 wooden doors, I am so humbled at the way God has changed my heart and my life. I praise the One who had used our messed up story and turned it into something for His glory. I praise Him because He changed me, and us, to make our marriage last and become something functional.
As I watch the doors fling open on the rest of our life and the years to come, I'm still a lot like that bride of 6 years ago. I can see the place I am suppose to walk, I see the goals and dreams and fears that lie ahead. However, this time I have my arm looped through the Father's, and a Godly man already at my side. I am so honored and blessed to have shared the last 6 years with this man. And as we take steps into an unknown future, I rest assured that God is directing our steps and leading our lives.
Happy Anniversary Honey! I love you so very, very much.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
~Proverbs 16:9
~Proverbs 16:9
Friday, December 19, 2008
He Makes It Easy to Be His Wife
I've been wanting to blog about submission now for a while. But, I found this post on Mckmama's blog and I feel that it would be redundant in posting something about it now (especially if you take the hint and click on that link). She says it so perfectly. Although their story is a little different from our story, the truths are still the same.
However, I feel that I must tell you about this amazing man that I have the honor of calling my husband. Luke isn't perfect and he would be the first to say so. However, it is only by the protection, provision and counsel from him that I able to be what I am: A Mother to 5 Very Small Children.
Yesterday, at Baby Girl's hearing, it was all I could do to keep myself from falling apart in that courtroom. There are only 2 reasons that I was able to resemble someone who is emotionally stable. The first is the Wonderful Counselor that I serve and the second is Luke.
Luke is my rock. Let me tell you, very simply, that HE makes me the wife, mother, friend and woman who strives to be holy and deeply know my Lord. He is the reason (2nd to God, of course) that I am able to mother these children each and every day. I have never, ever met a person more selfless than my husband, ever.
While most men come home and need "their" time, Luke changes from his office clothes and jumps right in with the kids, house, dishes and diapers. Luke is the one who rescues me when I've had too much of "that one" (as I casually point out the problem child of the day). Luke is the one who allows me to sob into his chest, streaky mascara and all, and holds me close as the people on the sidewalk look on. Luke is the one who leads, disciples and provides for our family. And he takes his job so incredibly serious.
Truly, Luke is after God's heart. He wants, so desperately, to serve the Lord in everything he does...in his job, as a father, as a husband and a friend. I cannot brag on him enough. Sure, he has his moments, don't we all? But the one thing I have realized in the last few months is that I don't do enough to make his life easier. I should serve him better, listen to him more and do my best to be all that God ordained when he created me to be his help meet. I don't know if I take that role seriously.
When we got married I thought I loved Luke, and I really think I did to the best of my ability. However, in the (almost) 6 years that we've been married, God has so graciously shown me what it means to TRULY love my husband. A serving love, a love that is sacrificial and a love more abundant than anything I could have ever imagined. And the best part yet...I know I've got so much more to learn.
Please don't think that I am proclaiming our marriage as perfect, it is not. BUT, what I have discovered about myself and this wonderful man to which I'm married, is that TRUE love is a choice. Luke chooses to love me despite knowing all there is to know about me. He loves me because of the man he is and the God he serves. He loves me when I'm unlovable and cares for me when it could be easier to walk away.
I write all of this not to pump up Luke's ego (because he rarely reads my blog anyway) but rather to challenge myself and to challenge you. If you are married, tell your husband TODAY what you admire about him. Tell him the things that he does that are worthy of respect. Tell him, with thoughtful words, how much you need, adore and cherish him. NOT because he HAS to love you, but because he chooses to. Pray over him, pray over his job, his relationship with the Lord and his role(s) as husband, father, friend and son. Pray that he will feel the enormity of the role that he plays in your life and the life of your family. And, as you store these things up in your heart, cut him some incredible slack. I know that I am often so quick to judge and correct Luke in ways that I should not...a harsh tone, an ugly look, a hurtful comment. Because, I know that if ever the situation arose, he would offer his life for mine, without a second thought.
He is truly a man with my heart in his hands and he makes it so easy to be his wife.
Our wedding day: December 28, 2002
Oh Baby, if we only knew then what we know now, then we'd really be laughing!
However, I feel that I must tell you about this amazing man that I have the honor of calling my husband. Luke isn't perfect and he would be the first to say so. However, it is only by the protection, provision and counsel from him that I able to be what I am: A Mother to 5 Very Small Children.
Yesterday, at Baby Girl's hearing, it was all I could do to keep myself from falling apart in that courtroom. There are only 2 reasons that I was able to resemble someone who is emotionally stable. The first is the Wonderful Counselor that I serve and the second is Luke.
Luke is my rock. Let me tell you, very simply, that HE makes me the wife, mother, friend and woman who strives to be holy and deeply know my Lord. He is the reason (2nd to God, of course) that I am able to mother these children each and every day. I have never, ever met a person more selfless than my husband, ever.
While most men come home and need "their" time, Luke changes from his office clothes and jumps right in with the kids, house, dishes and diapers. Luke is the one who rescues me when I've had too much of "that one" (as I casually point out the problem child of the day). Luke is the one who allows me to sob into his chest, streaky mascara and all, and holds me close as the people on the sidewalk look on. Luke is the one who leads, disciples and provides for our family. And he takes his job so incredibly serious.
Truly, Luke is after God's heart. He wants, so desperately, to serve the Lord in everything he does...in his job, as a father, as a husband and a friend. I cannot brag on him enough. Sure, he has his moments, don't we all? But the one thing I have realized in the last few months is that I don't do enough to make his life easier. I should serve him better, listen to him more and do my best to be all that God ordained when he created me to be his help meet. I don't know if I take that role seriously.
When we got married I thought I loved Luke, and I really think I did to the best of my ability. However, in the (almost) 6 years that we've been married, God has so graciously shown me what it means to TRULY love my husband. A serving love, a love that is sacrificial and a love more abundant than anything I could have ever imagined. And the best part yet...I know I've got so much more to learn.
Please don't think that I am proclaiming our marriage as perfect, it is not. BUT, what I have discovered about myself and this wonderful man to which I'm married, is that TRUE love is a choice. Luke chooses to love me despite knowing all there is to know about me. He loves me because of the man he is and the God he serves. He loves me when I'm unlovable and cares for me when it could be easier to walk away.
I write all of this not to pump up Luke's ego (because he rarely reads my blog anyway) but rather to challenge myself and to challenge you. If you are married, tell your husband TODAY what you admire about him. Tell him the things that he does that are worthy of respect. Tell him, with thoughtful words, how much you need, adore and cherish him. NOT because he HAS to love you, but because he chooses to. Pray over him, pray over his job, his relationship with the Lord and his role(s) as husband, father, friend and son. Pray that he will feel the enormity of the role that he plays in your life and the life of your family. And, as you store these things up in your heart, cut him some incredible slack. I know that I am often so quick to judge and correct Luke in ways that I should not...a harsh tone, an ugly look, a hurtful comment. Because, I know that if ever the situation arose, he would offer his life for mine, without a second thought.
He is truly a man with my heart in his hands and he makes it so easy to be his wife.
Our wedding day: December 28, 2002Oh Baby, if we only knew then what we know now, then we'd really be laughing!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Truest Love
Lately, I've noticed that my husband has been putting forth a lot of effort to keep me happy. Don't get me wrong, he's always been considerate and thoughtful and wonderful, but lately, I've taken special notice. It's the small things like
* Washing bottles
* Sweeping and mopping the floors
* Doing extra laundry
* Telling me I'm beautiful
* Spending extra time just being with me and the kids
* Giving me extra time for me
Luke's always been different than most men. He's always been the type of husband that helps out around the house. He's always been the husband that comes straight in from work, changes his clothes then jumps into helping with the kids. He's always been the man that doesn't mind getting things done.
Lately, I've seen a change though. His nature has been different, his demeanor. Since we got Baby D, I've seen Luke through new eyes. Yes, we've bickered and been short with each other. Yes, there's been times of high stress and little sleep. But through it all, I've seen him continue to be a Godly example for our kids. I see how important it is to him with each of his interactions with our children. It brings tears to my eyes.
Just last night, we were watching TV. After a late snack, Luke gets up to take the chips back into the kitchen. He's gone a little longer than normal, but me, engrossed in TV took little note.
Later, he comes back to bed and tells me that he snuck into Lucas' room and spent some time with him.
You see, Lucas is now alone in his bedroom. Ashlee is now sharing a room with Elizabeth. That way, the girls can have a room and the boys can have a room. However, until Baby D starts sleeping better at night, Lucas is solo in his bedroom. I think he partially loves the quiet but he also misses having Ashlee in there with him. Until now, he and Ashlee have shared a room and their pre-bed and pre-nap conversations were a daily occurrence. We also just upgraded Lucas' bed to a big boy bed (queen size) and he LOVES it. It also makes it easier for us if we need to lay with him at night.
Anyway, when Luke returned to bed he told me how he had went into Lucas' room. He said that he longed to spend time with his son. Just typing that makes my eyes well up with tears. Being a child who feels as if her birth father doesn't desire her, it makes me so emotional to see a father who enjoys being with his kids.
Luke told me that he asked Lucas if he could lay with him and Lucas said, in a whisper,
Yes.
Luke crawled into bed beside him, tucked his arm between the stuffed animals, and placed his hand on Lucas' stomach. He told me how Lucas, who is by far the least cuddly of all 4 of our kids, just laid there and rubbed his Daddy's arm, back and forth, back and forth. I know, in my heart that Lucas needed Daddy time just as much as Luke needed time with his son.
Luke told me that as he sat in the silence, enjoying the moment with his son, he was reminded of how much he misses his own father. Luke's dad lives pretty far away and we usually only see him once a year. Luke remembered how little his father was around during his childhood. Then, he said, he realized how important his role is in regard to our children.
He reminded me how much he wants to be a Godly father for our kids, and how seriously he takes his role in their lives. He expressed just how important it is for him to raise Godly men, as Lucas and D grow up.
I have so many, many reasons to love this man. Just when I think that my heart could hold no more love, God steps out of heaven and into my home, pouring his blessings all over me.
I always thought you fell in love once and that was it. As I grow in my marriage, I realize that true love is love you work for. True love is a choice you make. True love remembers the little things and makes extra efforts. True love means that you love someone, even when you don't always like them. True love is kind, patient, gentle and humble.
True love isn't the number of bottles that get washed or the loads of laundry that get done.
True love is the moments you choose to share with the person you love most. True love is living together, working toward the same goal. True love is a reflection of the Father's love, which is merciful, forgiving and undeserved.
True love means falling in love with the same man over and over and over again and realizing that it never gets old.
* Washing bottles
* Sweeping and mopping the floors
* Doing extra laundry
* Telling me I'm beautiful
* Spending extra time just being with me and the kids
* Giving me extra time for me
Luke's always been different than most men. He's always been the type of husband that helps out around the house. He's always been the husband that comes straight in from work, changes his clothes then jumps into helping with the kids. He's always been the man that doesn't mind getting things done.
Lately, I've seen a change though. His nature has been different, his demeanor. Since we got Baby D, I've seen Luke through new eyes. Yes, we've bickered and been short with each other. Yes, there's been times of high stress and little sleep. But through it all, I've seen him continue to be a Godly example for our kids. I see how important it is to him with each of his interactions with our children. It brings tears to my eyes.
Just last night, we were watching TV. After a late snack, Luke gets up to take the chips back into the kitchen. He's gone a little longer than normal, but me, engrossed in TV took little note.
Later, he comes back to bed and tells me that he snuck into Lucas' room and spent some time with him.
You see, Lucas is now alone in his bedroom. Ashlee is now sharing a room with Elizabeth. That way, the girls can have a room and the boys can have a room. However, until Baby D starts sleeping better at night, Lucas is solo in his bedroom. I think he partially loves the quiet but he also misses having Ashlee in there with him. Until now, he and Ashlee have shared a room and their pre-bed and pre-nap conversations were a daily occurrence. We also just upgraded Lucas' bed to a big boy bed (queen size) and he LOVES it. It also makes it easier for us if we need to lay with him at night.
Anyway, when Luke returned to bed he told me how he had went into Lucas' room. He said that he longed to spend time with his son. Just typing that makes my eyes well up with tears. Being a child who feels as if her birth father doesn't desire her, it makes me so emotional to see a father who enjoys being with his kids.
Luke told me that he asked Lucas if he could lay with him and Lucas said, in a whisper,
Yes.
Luke crawled into bed beside him, tucked his arm between the stuffed animals, and placed his hand on Lucas' stomach. He told me how Lucas, who is by far the least cuddly of all 4 of our kids, just laid there and rubbed his Daddy's arm, back and forth, back and forth. I know, in my heart that Lucas needed Daddy time just as much as Luke needed time with his son.
Luke told me that as he sat in the silence, enjoying the moment with his son, he was reminded of how much he misses his own father. Luke's dad lives pretty far away and we usually only see him once a year. Luke remembered how little his father was around during his childhood. Then, he said, he realized how important his role is in regard to our children.
He reminded me how much he wants to be a Godly father for our kids, and how seriously he takes his role in their lives. He expressed just how important it is for him to raise Godly men, as Lucas and D grow up.
I have so many, many reasons to love this man. Just when I think that my heart could hold no more love, God steps out of heaven and into my home, pouring his blessings all over me.
I always thought you fell in love once and that was it. As I grow in my marriage, I realize that true love is love you work for. True love is a choice you make. True love remembers the little things and makes extra efforts. True love means that you love someone, even when you don't always like them. True love is kind, patient, gentle and humble.
True love isn't the number of bottles that get washed or the loads of laundry that get done.
True love is the moments you choose to share with the person you love most. True love is living together, working toward the same goal. True love is a reflection of the Father's love, which is merciful, forgiving and undeserved.
True love means falling in love with the same man over and over and over again and realizing that it never gets old.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
Sunday, July 6, 2008
The Sheerest of Gifts
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
~ James 1:2-4 (The Message)
~ James 1:2-4 (The Message)
Pure joy, huh (That's the NIV translation)? A sheer gift? Really? If such is the case, then I'm so tickled I could pop! I love how it is written in The Message version because it reads,
when tests and challenges come at you from all sides (emphasis added).
I totally feel that way right now. I am being tested from every angle. Family frustrations, homeschooling worries, volunteer duties....then of course there's the usual, things. The "simpler" stuff like parenting, marriage, keeping my house up. Wow, a sheer gift? I struggle to see all the joy.
Where I AM finding joy is in the fact that I am yearning for time with my Father. I am desperate for His word. I'm thirsty. Not that I've opened my Bible more than once this week, but the longing is still there. 6-12 months ago, I would have just continued through my day lacking nothing. The stress would be piling higher still, but the outlet never identified, the desire never sparked. That is sheer joy for me. I have prayed so many times, "Father, let me desire to spend time with you. Let me long for your word." He has answered. He has provided the desire, the longing. Many times this past week I've walked right past my Bible, glancing at it with such longing. Knowing that a half hour, fifteen minutes, in it's goodness would replenish my soul. But life's demands have called me away. Now I can see the attacker roping me into his snares.
Two years ago, shortly after the twins' birth, Luke and I were laying in our bed, exhausted from the day. Our new precious babies, were snoozing softly in the bassinet next to our bed. As one of them squeaked out a sweet baby noise, we both smiled. Almost in unison we spoke of how much fun this parenting thing was. Yes, we were EXHAUSTED. Yes, we were strained, but it truly was pure joy. It really was the sheerest of gifts. Looking back, I totally see what verse 4 means when it says,
Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
We could not have felt more completely exhausted. I wondered a lot back then if we'd ever make it to the twins' 2nd birthday. I wondered how we would ever endure. However, I can see so clearly that God sent us Lucas and Ashlee exactly when He did so that we could become more mature, more developed parents. We don't have this parenting thing all figured out by any means. However, managing newborn twins and a 22 month old wasn't easy. It was physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting. Having 3 kids under two certainly prepared us for having four kids under 4. This is WAY easier than it was when the twins were newbies, and I'm so much more spiritually mature. Knowing all of this, I know that this stress and these troubles are for God's perfect plan. I know that I am being tested because of a greater good. I know that He is sovereign, faithful and above all, LOVE. Because of that knowledge and my faith in Him, I will persevere. I will endure and I will try to consciously recognize the sheer gifts I have in my life at this very moment.
PS-Thanks Mandy for bringing these verses to my attention. I needed it so much more than you could know.
when tests and challenges come at you from all sides (emphasis added).
I totally feel that way right now. I am being tested from every angle. Family frustrations, homeschooling worries, volunteer duties....then of course there's the usual, things. The "simpler" stuff like parenting, marriage, keeping my house up. Wow, a sheer gift? I struggle to see all the joy.
Where I AM finding joy is in the fact that I am yearning for time with my Father. I am desperate for His word. I'm thirsty. Not that I've opened my Bible more than once this week, but the longing is still there. 6-12 months ago, I would have just continued through my day lacking nothing. The stress would be piling higher still, but the outlet never identified, the desire never sparked. That is sheer joy for me. I have prayed so many times, "Father, let me desire to spend time with you. Let me long for your word." He has answered. He has provided the desire, the longing. Many times this past week I've walked right past my Bible, glancing at it with such longing. Knowing that a half hour, fifteen minutes, in it's goodness would replenish my soul. But life's demands have called me away. Now I can see the attacker roping me into his snares.
Two years ago, shortly after the twins' birth, Luke and I were laying in our bed, exhausted from the day. Our new precious babies, were snoozing softly in the bassinet next to our bed. As one of them squeaked out a sweet baby noise, we both smiled. Almost in unison we spoke of how much fun this parenting thing was. Yes, we were EXHAUSTED. Yes, we were strained, but it truly was pure joy. It really was the sheerest of gifts. Looking back, I totally see what verse 4 means when it says,
Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
We could not have felt more completely exhausted. I wondered a lot back then if we'd ever make it to the twins' 2nd birthday. I wondered how we would ever endure. However, I can see so clearly that God sent us Lucas and Ashlee exactly when He did so that we could become more mature, more developed parents. We don't have this parenting thing all figured out by any means. However, managing newborn twins and a 22 month old wasn't easy. It was physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausting. Having 3 kids under two certainly prepared us for having four kids under 4. This is WAY easier than it was when the twins were newbies, and I'm so much more spiritually mature. Knowing all of this, I know that this stress and these troubles are for God's perfect plan. I know that I am being tested because of a greater good. I know that He is sovereign, faithful and above all, LOVE. Because of that knowledge and my faith in Him, I will persevere. I will endure and I will try to consciously recognize the sheer gifts I have in my life at this very moment.
PS-Thanks Mandy for bringing these verses to my attention. I needed it so much more than you could know.
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