The craziest thing about being a foster mom is the realization that this person you love isn't REALLY yours. I mean, cognitively I know that. My heart doesn't seem to get the point.
When I hold Baby D, I think about my son. When I kiss his fat, round cheeks I think about my son. However, every Monday and Thursday, for 2.5 hours, I'm reminded that he's NOT my son. I am required to load him into the car of a social worker and allow him to be driven away.
When I hold Baby Girl, I feel love. When I kiss her soft head, smell her hair (yes, she has LOTS) and feed her at 3am, I feel love. When I talk to the social worker about how the visit went with birth mom, I'm reminded she's not my daughter.
However, these things I can tolerate. What pushes me to my limits is when birth parents decide to do (or say) things that, in my opinion, they have no right to do (or say).
For example, last Monday Baby D came home from a visit. I was at the hospital picking up Baby Girl, so Luke had the chance to speak with the social worker. Upon Baby D's return, the social worker tells Luke that the birth parents gave Baby D GRAPE JUICE. Are you kidding me?
This is further proof that God is in control. Had I been home, I'm not sure what I would have said. Thank you Lord for allowing my much calmer, more level headed husband to receive this news.
Now, if you're not a baby person, what you may not realize is that 4 month olds rarely need juice. You have the occasional baby who is extra constipated and needs the encouragement. Baby D is not one of those babies. At any rate, you usually offer these "backed up" babies Apple Juice and on rare occasion, Prune Juice.
NEVER GRAPE JUICE!!!
Grape juice is so completely NOT the first thing you introduce to a 4 month old. At least they had sense enough to dilute it. Baby D was incredibly fussy the rest of the afternoon (requiring being held...NOT good when you have a newborn) AND for the first time in 2 weeks, he woke up off and on throughout the night.
I cannot tell you how ticked I was. I'm over it now.
My encounters with birth parents does not end there. Oh no! On Friday, Baby Girl had her first visit with birth mom. When the social worker (same one) returned her to our home, she told me that birth mom said,
"From now on, when she goes out, can you make sure she has on a hat AND socks."
My blood still boils just thinking about it. Are you stinkin' kidding me?
This woman, who had her child taken from her because she COULD NOT REFRAIN FROM ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES WHILE PREGNANT, is asking me to please protect her baby with a hat and socks.
(For the record, it was a little chilly out, however, Baby Girl had on a onesie WITH a fleece-like jumpsuit on, PLUS a heavy blanket.)
I think there are still teeth marks in my tongue.
Over the last few years, God has emphasized patience, silence and refrain from harsh words. Never have so many reminders of scripture flown through my brain than at the moment the social worker uttered these words to me.
On another note, this week will be a crazy one. Baby D and Baby Girl both have visits on Monday, and we have Classical. On Wednesday, some dear friends return from Africa, on Thursday Baby D goes for another visit and on Friday we have doctor appointments for Baby D's 4 month check up (which means shots) and a weight check for Baby Girl.
Whew! I'm exhausted already. The good news is that Luke and I finally broke down and we hired someone to come clean our house. Okay, Luke broke down. I would have went for this YEARS ago.
She starts Monday. I CANNOT tell you how much I am looking forward to coming in from Classical on Monday to a fresh, clean house.
I smile just thinking about it. No more ring around the toilet, no more crunchies in the carpet, no more toothpaste dribble on the mirror, just....clean. For one day (okay maybe just until nap time is over), I will enjoy clean.
Ahhhhhhh.....maybe next week won't be so bad after all...as long as birth parents don't do anything crazy.
Showing posts with label Classical. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Classical. Show all posts
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
One of THOSE Days
When the thought of everyone screaming enters my mind, these two pictures flash into my brain. Although they are hysterical now, at the time I thought I would come away from the situation bald. The twins are 8.5 months in the top picture and a year old in the bottom one.Their faces are priceless!
It's been one of THOSE days today and it's only 2:00. These are the days when I ask God,
"Are you sure you want us to have more kids?"
Today started off early. "Early" and "Beavers" should not go together in the same sentence. We woke up early for Classical and the meltdowns began.
First, Lucas. For some reason he wanted to be held, he NEVER wants to be held. The only time Lucas likes to be held is when he's sick. No sign of sickness, just a bad case of Mommy-itis.
As I try to load up the car and collect the last few things we need, he insists on being held. Guess who is now awake screaming his head off?
Right, Baby D. Hungry. Why not?
On Mondays I try to leave our house by 8:15am so that I can get to Classical and get my room set up and still have ample time to walk 3 VERY slow people all the way to the opening in the sanctuary.
Today at 8:15am I was standing in my kitchen with 3 people screaming their guts out. Lucas wanted to be held, which in turn made Ashlee want to be held. Baby D is hungry because he didn't finish his 7am bottle. So, more screaming.
At one point the screaming was so bad that Elizabeth and I just stood in the kitchen with our hands over our ears. I'm not kidding.
Finally, everyone is loaded up and we are off to Classical. When we arrive, Ashlee is still in a "I wanna be held mood."
I set up my classroom, over the screaming children who are now fighting over puzzles. Ashlee gets her feelings hurt, again, and insists on being held. She really is just so tender.
Classroom put together, we all start the walk to the sanctuary. As we walk, Ashlee is getting heavier and heavier so I plop her on the handlebars of the stroller. We make it through the rest of Classical.
After lunch, the kids are playing on the playground and Ashlee takes a spill on the sidewalk. A nasty scrape on the elbow lands her back in my arms, screaming. Leaving the playground also poses a problem. Everyone wants "just one more" turn.
We load up and I turn on the TV in our van. For 6 minutes...peace.
However, upon re-entry of the house I discover that the screaming bug has not had time to dissipate. AS SOON AS we open the door to the house, the screaming resumes.
We scream until we are each placed in the bed, Lucas continuing to scream until he is spanked several times then hovered over until he falls asleep.
Elizabeth is still whiny, trying desperately to gain my attention from our bedroom. I guess today I should just chaulk it up to being a bad day. I know I get in a funk somedays.
When I have these days, I always wonder what the Lord is trying to teach me. Patience seems so simple and I know that something else should be gained.
Maybe He is speaking in a still small voice and I just can't hear Him over all the screaming...
Monday, September 29, 2008
Elizabeth's Presentation
Part of Classical Conversations is having presentation time each week. For the 4 year olds I tutor, this is basically just show and tell.
The last 3 weeks I have been a bad homeschool mom and we have not had a prepared presentation. The first week of class I could have had Elizabeth prepared, ready to be the example for the other students.
I did not.
The second week, we were walking out the door at 8:15am and I remembered that presentations were due. Elizabeth grabbed a pull along dog toy. She modeled her expert skill in dog pulling, all on a moment's notice.
I had to give her props for ingenuity.
The next week, we were (no lie) unloading the van to go into the church for Classical when I remembered her presentation.
"Elizabeth! Quick! Come choose something from the van for your presentation."
Once more, I am a rock star homeschool mom. Try to hold your applause.
She chose a blue elephant from the circus we attended last year. Yes, it was a monumental presentation. Complete with a story about her favorite blue elephant.
This week, we finally hit the target. Since we went to court this morning, I took the time to help her prepare an actual presentation for today. I mean, I had to save face for the sub!
Here is our practice run last night. If you can look past the fact she's in her undies, Lucas' boy outburst and Ashlee's fit, you might see an actual presentation somewhere in there.
Wanna know what she was reading? Her notes of course! Yes, those are my artistic skills. Do not judge me.
Oh yeah! Who gets the blue ribbon for Mom of the week? You're lookin' at her...er, reading her. The moments where I actually FEEL successful as a mother are few and far between. This one, I'm savoring.
Oh yeah, pass it over, pass it over and watch me pin it on...
The last 3 weeks I have been a bad homeschool mom and we have not had a prepared presentation. The first week of class I could have had Elizabeth prepared, ready to be the example for the other students.
I did not.
The second week, we were walking out the door at 8:15am and I remembered that presentations were due. Elizabeth grabbed a pull along dog toy. She modeled her expert skill in dog pulling, all on a moment's notice.I had to give her props for ingenuity.
The next week, we were (no lie) unloading the van to go into the church for Classical when I remembered her presentation.
"Elizabeth! Quick! Come choose something from the van for your presentation."
Once more, I am a rock star homeschool mom. Try to hold your applause.
She chose a blue elephant from the circus we attended last year. Yes, it was a monumental presentation. Complete with a story about her favorite blue elephant.
This week, we finally hit the target. Since we went to court this morning, I took the time to help her prepare an actual presentation for today. I mean, I had to save face for the sub!
Here is our practice run last night. If you can look past the fact she's in her undies, Lucas' boy outburst and Ashlee's fit, you might see an actual presentation somewhere in there.
Wanna know what she was reading? Her notes of course! Yes, those are my artistic skills. Do not judge me.
Oh yeah! Who gets the blue ribbon for Mom of the week? You're lookin' at her...er, reading her. The moments where I actually FEEL successful as a mother are few and far between. This one, I'm savoring.Oh yeah, pass it over, pass it over and watch me pin it on...
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
A Good Day
This morning, I got up and ran for 20ish minutes. Yes, me, running at 6:45am I can hardly believe it.
We also started our first day of Classical Conversations today. I am tutoring the 4 year old class. Today I had eight 4 year olds. It was so much fun and went so much more smoothly than I could have ever anticipated.
I'll post more later. I'm exhausted!
We also started our first day of Classical Conversations today. I am tutoring the 4 year old class. Today I had eight 4 year olds. It was so much fun and went so much more smoothly than I could have ever anticipated.
I'll post more later. I'm exhausted!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
This Week
Tomorrow is Labor Day so Luke will be home from work (Yay!). I love it when he's home with us all day and it's not the weekend. It's so much fun for me and the kids. I anticipate tomorrow being relaxing and fun.
Tuesday, we begin our homeschool group of Classical Conversations. I will be tutoring Elizabeth's class of 4 year olds. I think there will be about seven 4 year olds in the class this year.
Let me attempt to explain the program of Classical. Basically, it's memorization of tons and tons of information. The goal, as I understand it, is to create "pegs" in the child's brain. You do this by pouring information into their already sponge-like brains and reinforce it with songs, chants, hand/body motions and acronyms. As they recite these bits of information, the pegs are knocked into place more securely.
The reason you want them to memorize so much stuff is so that when the information is later addressed, they will have some sort of background knowledge to build from. As a former public school teacher I can tell you that background knowledge is hard to come by. Often, students would enter my classroom only knowledgeable about the things in their immediate environment. Trying to tie an in-depth unit study of North Carolina to any background knowledge was like trying to hang a coat rack with jelly, impossible!
I am excited to see what all Elizabeth will learn this year. Although I am not expecting her to understand all that she will be learning, I do think that she will build a base of knowledge that we can grow upon for years to come. Here are the main categories of information that she'll be memorizing. Keep in mind that Classical lasts for 24 weeks. We will memorize one thing in each of these categories over those 24 weeks.
> English Grammer - this includes verb tenses, verb forms, sentence patterns, types of sentences and parts of speech
> Science - this year we will study the Human Body
> History - this year we study American History. With this she will learn the Preamble to the Constitution, all the US Presidents, the Bill of Rights as well as 22 other meaningful history sentences relevant to our country, it's freedoms and notable dates.
> Math - this includes forms of measurements and things as complex as the Distributive Law and how to find an atomic number of an atom
> Latin (yep, you read that right)
> Bible - She will memorize the entire chapter of John 1 (oh, and this will be in English and in Latin, incase you're wondering)
> Geography - including all 50 states and their capitals plus 20ish other geographical bits of info (such as the Great Lakes, Major Bays, Rivers, and Mountain Ranges)
> Fine Arts - including how to play the Tin Whistle, drawing, and info about several great Artists (ie. Grandma Moses and Georgia O'Keeffe
I'm guessing that she'll remember WAY more than I will, but that we'll both learn so much in the process. I'm nervous, but excited. I know it will be an adventure and I'm always up for a challenge. Here we go! Wish me luck...oh, and if you think about it, say a prayer!
Tuesday, we begin our homeschool group of Classical Conversations. I will be tutoring Elizabeth's class of 4 year olds. I think there will be about seven 4 year olds in the class this year.
Let me attempt to explain the program of Classical. Basically, it's memorization of tons and tons of information. The goal, as I understand it, is to create "pegs" in the child's brain. You do this by pouring information into their already sponge-like brains and reinforce it with songs, chants, hand/body motions and acronyms. As they recite these bits of information, the pegs are knocked into place more securely.
The reason you want them to memorize so much stuff is so that when the information is later addressed, they will have some sort of background knowledge to build from. As a former public school teacher I can tell you that background knowledge is hard to come by. Often, students would enter my classroom only knowledgeable about the things in their immediate environment. Trying to tie an in-depth unit study of North Carolina to any background knowledge was like trying to hang a coat rack with jelly, impossible!
I am excited to see what all Elizabeth will learn this year. Although I am not expecting her to understand all that she will be learning, I do think that she will build a base of knowledge that we can grow upon for years to come. Here are the main categories of information that she'll be memorizing. Keep in mind that Classical lasts for 24 weeks. We will memorize one thing in each of these categories over those 24 weeks.
> English Grammer - this includes verb tenses, verb forms, sentence patterns, types of sentences and parts of speech
> Science - this year we will study the Human Body
> History - this year we study American History. With this she will learn the Preamble to the Constitution, all the US Presidents, the Bill of Rights as well as 22 other meaningful history sentences relevant to our country, it's freedoms and notable dates.
> Math - this includes forms of measurements and things as complex as the Distributive Law and how to find an atomic number of an atom
> Latin (yep, you read that right)
> Bible - She will memorize the entire chapter of John 1 (oh, and this will be in English and in Latin, incase you're wondering)
> Geography - including all 50 states and their capitals plus 20ish other geographical bits of info (such as the Great Lakes, Major Bays, Rivers, and Mountain Ranges)
> Fine Arts - including how to play the Tin Whistle, drawing, and info about several great Artists (ie. Grandma Moses and Georgia O'Keeffe
I'm guessing that she'll remember WAY more than I will, but that we'll both learn so much in the process. I'm nervous, but excited. I know it will be an adventure and I'm always up for a challenge. Here we go! Wish me luck...oh, and if you think about it, say a prayer!
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