Easter nostalgia

Some Moms do the Christmas Eve photo in front of the Christmas tree with all the kids in their Christmas pajamas. I'm not one of those Moms. In fact, despite that I really enjoy taking photos, it's rare that ask my own children to sit and take a photo all together. And getting myself in the picture is even more rare.

For whatever reason, Easter is the one time a year I hand off the camera and force beg coerce bribe my kids (and husband) into taking a yearly family photo. It rarely ends well (and by well, I mean that we are all perfectly posed and I've not issued threats or made unreasonable promises), but it always makes me laugh. At least, afterwards. Many years afterwards.

It also appears to be the one thing that Lucas hates most on the earth. Olivia, on the other hand, has always rocked the Easter photo. I'm guessing it's her favorite holiday, ever. Besides her birthday and Christmas and whatever holiday is exactly next.

Easter 2010 can be found here on my blog. It's hilarious. But for comparisons purposes, here's a quick picture.

That would be itty bitty Ella on my lap next to Olivia. Goodness

Easter 2011 was apparently not blogged about and this is probably why:

The best one we got that year features our dog's back. Again, LUCAS. He's probably mad because he's wearing the exact same sweater vest that he wore the previous year. Fashion is clearly his thing. Or not. Seeing as how he's worn the same pair of jorts for the last week.

Easter 2012 things seemed to go a big more smoothly.

That's teeny, tiny Abigail on my lap.

You know, except for Lucas. At least Olivia is rocking it out. And Aaron. Clearly they were being bribed with excessive amounts of candy. Momma had a newborn. Momma was tired.

Easter 2013 apparently did not exist because I have no photographic documentation of it. Not even looking back through all the pics from my phone. So weird.

Which brings us to this year. Easter 2014. I knew I wanted a pic of all of us. My parents, my two grandmas and all the kids. Please note Lucas' over sarcastic smile because it took several photos of him not doing pointy, happy fingers at the camera, or throwing up some sort of gang symbol or staring off into the yard in the opposite direction.

23 photos later, grandparent photo: check. I mean, one kid out of 8 isn't looking but LOOK AT ABIGAIL. The cute. I can't even handle it.

And then, I politely asked Abigail to remove herself from my Mom's lap and sit with me for a nice family photo. She also loved that idea. Or not.

Okay, Abs, please just stop before you upset your baby sister.

Well, at least Lucas is happy for once.

I hope your Easter was a scream.

The photographer's apprentice

A while back, as sort of a half-hobby, half-distraction from grief and life, I started a photography business. I still have LOTS to learn but I've enjoyed getting to know more about light, editing and learning more about my style.

For her 8th birthday, we got Elizabeth a little point-and-shoot camera. Since I bought my new camera a few months ago, Elizabeth has been saying that she wants to learn to be a photographer, like me. It's cute but I tell her over and over and over again that the best way to become a better photographer is to take lots and lots and lots of pictures.

Then, a few weeks ago, Luke had the idea for me to take Elizabeth, and let her have a maternity photoshoot with me. So, today, while the littles napped, Ashlee was at a friend's house and the boys were at karate, we did just that. I showed her the basics of working my camera, made sure the camera strap was nice and secure around her neck then handed it to her, gave her a few instructions about shadows and direct sunlight then told her to take over.

I'll admit, being 38+ weeks pregnant I don't enjoy being on this side of the camera. But, I also know that 25 years from now, when Baby #8 is likely starting her own family, she'll like seeing photos of her Momma's large belly with her tiny self squished inside. Here's my little photographer's apprentice's debut photos. I did the editing, but the photos are all hers. During my wardrobe change (read: I got cold and changed shirts) she took a photo of our school table,

and our pet bird, Alex.

She really got into telling me to look at my belly, where to put my hands and which side my hair needed to be on.

She told me that I'm not good at doing a real smile, because all my smiles looked fake. Ha!

Overall, for a 9.5 year old, I think she did pretty well! And, it really was fun spending time with my oldest girl, allowing her to feel the weight of the camera in her hand and having some creative freedom.

So there I am, in all my 38+ week glory. Y'all have a great Christmas! Hopefully, the next post will be one of a baby on the outside.

My Elizabeth is 8!

Over a month ago it happened. My first baby turned eight.

Eight.

My mouth hardly is able to form that number without a lump in my throat. How am I even old enough to have an eight year old?


God certainly knew what He was doing when He gave us Elizabeth as our first born. Oh how my heart swells with love and pride when I think about her precious heart, her giving spirit and her desire to continually help.


She's the BEST biggest sister. Even if I could have dreamed up a first born, big sister for our army of children, I doubt my best and wildest imagination could have ever designed Elizabeth. Nearly always patient, eager to help a younger sibling, loving, gentle, kind and caring - she is exactly what our younger children need in an oldest sibling. Never too big to act silly enough to elicit a giggle or laugh from one of the younger ones or too proud to allow them to smother her with kisses. Often, she's way more patient than I am and she teaches me continually about grace and mercy.


How could I ever make it through my days without this girl? She showers me with hugs, help and love. And I am just so, so thankful for the young woman she's growing to be, the young lady God desires her to grow into and the friend I will one day have in her.


She's sassy. She has a style and a way all her own. Eight is a fun age but a hard age too. She's just grown enough to do almost everything on her own while she still needs regular guidance, direction and input. It's a fine line to walk, allowing her to stumble when natural consequences would be the best teacher and gently guiding her when she needs direction before an impending failure.


She's an amazing forgiver, which is good because her mother makes regular, epic mistakes and has to ask for forgiveness often. Not too long ago we were all outside playing with some neighborhood kids. She and Lucas got into a spat and she over reacted physically toward Lucas. In my own sinfulness and over reaction I reached out and swatted her firmly, right on the bottom in front of her friends. It broke her heart. She ran into the house, tearfully, to escape certain humiliation.

I followed her quickly, realizing that I did no better than she had just done with her brother. Asking her for forgiveness she threw her scrawny arms around my neck, climbed into my lap and told me I was a great Mom and we'd always forgive each other.

Oh baby girl, how I pray we always do.


She humbles me, showing me often what real forgiveness, genuine laughter and unconditionally love looks like.

Man, I just love this girl.


I know harder days are ahead. Days where I'll be last person she wants to talk to, her relationships with her friends will take precedence and I'll miss her sassy eight year old self crawling up in my lap and begging me to cuddle.

So for now, I breathe her in. I take in every part of who she is: artist, friend maker, compassionate stranger, understanding big sister, Abigail's personal assistant, my sweetest, biggest baby girl.

And I thank God for the gift of her every single day. What a treasure He's given us in our oldest child!


Happy (Belated) Birthday Elizabeth! I love you so very much!

Click these to see Elizabeth when she turned seven, six, five and four.

Oh deer!

Alternately titled: "A series of poor wildlife rescue choices"

It's never a dull moment around here, that's for sure. And most times, the kids are only a sliver of the reason it's exciting.

Let me preface this by saying that I was raised in the country. I went huntin' and fishin' with my Daddy plenty a' times. "Goin' up to tha huntin' club" was a regular event for me as a young girl. Often, I was the only girl there. I've spent a lot of time in the woods, let's just say. (Which, you would think would equate to the fact that I know better. We rarely take our own advice, do we?)

So when Elizabeth and I went on a bike ride Thursday night and a friend in our "neighborhood" told us about a fawn in a nearby bush, I didn't think much about it. However, after a quick trip back by our house, Elizabeth begged to go see the fawn.

Okay. No big deal, right? We rode our bikes just a little ways from our house, park them and walk over to the bush where the fawn had been spotted. Since I had experience with fawns and Mommas hiding their babies, I figured it would be hard to find.

Um. Not so much.

See that large mass of concrete behind Elizabeth? Yeah. Momma deer hid her baby in a landscaped median of a parking lot.

My friend Shannon said on facebook, "You are the third family I've seen in the last 24 hours to find fawns. Seems like animals are becoming questionable parents just like humans."

That made me laugh. The truth is funny.

Anyway, as Elizabeth and I sat looking at the not-so-hidden baby fawn, Elizabeth asked, "Can I pet it?"

I rolled the thought around in my mind and figured she was already arm distance away from it. I told her to take a small scoot toward the baby. As she did, the baby became uneasy. Not wanting to disturb the poor thing, I told her, "Baby, it's getting scared. Let's back away and leave it alone."

As she and I scooted away, we spooked the little guy (gal?) anyway and it jumped up and ran into the road.

Awesome. Way to be a protector of nature, Jessica.

Elizabeth began yelling the thoughts that were already in my head, "Mom! IT'S IN THE ROAD! It's gonna DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!"

I walked toward "Bambi" (as Elizabeth later so originally named it) and Bambi began to run with long, lanky, unbalanced strides across the road and toward a nearby home. Without giving too much info for internet creepers: where we live, though in a residential area, it's not uncommon to see lots of deer, squirrels, etc. We sort of live in a community with other folks, but off the beaten path. All of that to say, wildlife isn't exactly afraid of people in our neighborhood.

Ahem, anyway. Bambi wasn't in any REAL danger of being hit by a car (though it was possible) but more so I was now worried that her (his?) Momma wouldn't be able to find her (him?) later. Even though her hiding spot sucked, it was still her hiding spot, ya know?

Bambi, stupidly, jumped down into a stairwell that led to the basement of a nearby house. Elizabeth and I stood at the top of the stairwell and looked at a very frightened little deer and wondered what in the world we should do.

I texted and called anyone I could think of that could google, "What do you do when you spook a baby deer?" but alas, no one answered or replied to my cries for help. It's times like then that I would enjoy the luxury of a smartphone.

Anyway, I panicked and did what any girl does when she panics, I called my Mom. Together, we decided that the baby deer wasn't hidden very well and now that it was spooked it would surely die at the hands of nature and that I should catch the pitiful thing and take it home.

Divinely, my Mom was just around the corner after finishing an exercise class and she promised to come over straight away and help me get our bikes and Bambi the whole 1/4 mile back to our house.

While I waited on her to arrive, I eased into the shallow stairwell and cornered Bambi. It crossed my mind that this little precious thing might kick or bite me. I grabbed Bambi by the hind quarters and he (she?) let out a loud bleet. At that point, I half expected a Momma deer to appear from nowhere and begin ramming me in the backside with her head.

This scene from Tommy Boy played through my head as I climbed into my Mom's minivan and we drove the quarter mile back to our house. I had a death grip on this poor deer and his (her?) heart was pounding wildly. Poor little fella was terrified.

We got home and I could hear Abigail screaming the minute I opened the car door. She reserves a special hate cry for Luke. It's sad really. However, I knew if I tried to pass Bambi off to someone else there was a high probability that he (she?) would kick free and then we'd be back to chasing a baby deer all over God knows where. So I clung to Bambi tightly and asked my Mom to relieve Luke from the wails of his 3 month old daughter.

When I got inside, I received a less-than-thrilled greeting from my husband. I wasn't exactly sure how long Bambi had been left unattended so I did what any normal, rational, self-respecting mother would do.

I thawed out some breastmilk and attempted to give Bambi a bottle.

Isn't he (she?) a doll? Oh my word. And she (he?) took about an ounce, too! Once Bambi got a taste of the milk, I think he (she?) realized where it came from because it began to lick - and then tried to nibble - at my shirt. Ahem, you know, in the "upper" region.

Meanwhile, my Mom had managed to calm Abigail down a little bit but she was still in desperate need of her Momma, if you know what I mean.

My next thought turned to where in the world could I put this deer down without A) our dog killing it and B) it not destroying our house.

I needed to google something fierce and figure out what in the heck we're going to do with this little thing because if we wait too long, Elizabeth's going to have a leash on it and be walking it around the neighborhood. And, ahem, you know, I only have so much breastmilk in my freezer.

So I sent Elizabeth to gather up some baby blankets and we made a little bed for Bambi in the best place I could think, the bathtub.

I sort of wondered what was going to happen when I put this baby down. Will it freak out and gash our heads open with it's hooves? Will it slip on the bathtub and tile floor and break it's leg?

Turns out baby deer lay down where you put them. Probably because, you know, THAT'S WHAT THEIR MOMMAS TRAIN THEM TO DO. Ahem. You know.

I fed Abigail and began googling "what do you do with a fawn" like a mad woman. Nearly every.single.flippin. article I read says, "DO NOT TAKE A FAWN HOME IF YOU FIND IT."

Duh, I think. But they clearly don't know my circumstances. I read on.

More instructions say, "If the deer appears to be in danger by it's hidden location, simply watch the fawn from afar. Do not attempt to move the deer or pet it."

Double fail.

Finally, after talking to my Mom and reading virtually everything on google, Elizabeth and I decided to take the fawn back. A few sites said that if you moved a fawn but get it back by dusk, the mother would come back and take it as she had originally planned. At this point it's nearly dark so we hustled to gather up the fawn, load up the car and get back to the rendezvous point before it's totally dark.

As Elizabeth, Bambi and I pulled into the parking lot near Bambi's former hiding place, we see two deer sprint in front of our headlights. Elizabeth, not so calmly screeched, "MOM! THERE'S HIS MOMMY! HURRRRRRRRY THEY'RE RUNNNNNING AWAY! BAMBI'S GONNA DIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!"

I threw the car in park and jumped out with Bambi in my arms. I contemplated throwing Bambi into the air and releasing him (her?) back to her (his?) mother like a dove would take to flight but I figure I'd already failed Bambi enough and a broken leg wouldn't work in his (her?) favor.

I calmly walked over to the less than obscure hiding spot where Bambi was first spotted. Gently, I placed my newly nursed baby Bambi back in his (her?) snuggly, pine-needly bed. He (she?) stood and then took a few steps. I backed away slowly and Bambi faded from my vision thanks to the now pitch black that surrounded us. Elizabeth and I pulled my Mom's minivan to the other side of the parking lot, cut it off and sat and waited hoping that Bambi's Momma would come back quickly.

About 20 minutes later, as Elizabeth and I both are beginning to get quite bored of staring at bushes, Elizabeth spotted a deer! The doe grazed and slowly wandered around the grassy areas near the median that holds the bushes and Bambi. After watching her for about 25 minutes we decided we'd better head home. We started the car and the doe leapt about 30 yards then stopped and stared at us as we drive off.

The next morning we went to check on Bambi and he (she?) was gone! We prayed and we are trusting that God reunited her (him?) with Momma Deer.

Moral of this story?

God is merciful. For about 2 hours my eldest daughter got the privilege of loving on the sweetest little baby deer I've ever seen. She was in heaven and we made some memories that neither of us will ever forget.

And also, don't touch wildlife.

The end.

Das Not Funny! Friday: Confessions of a 3rd grade homeschooler

We finished up Elizabeth's standardized torture test about half an hour ago. As soon as we closed her booklet we flung our arms around each other and squealed with delight that she is now "officially" a 3rd grader. While I was busy packing up materials to return to the scoring center, she bounced off to her room carrying my iPod, unbeknownst to me.

Below is the video she made. My heart swells with so much joy over this precious girl. She's full of personality, that's for sure. Too bad she's a sheltered, introverted, unsocialized homeschool kid. ;)

Happy 7th Birthday Elizabeth!

I hardly know how it happened. I blinked a few times and somehow, seven years went flying by.

At her first breath, she changed me. I went from being just a regular woman to being a Mother.





Just like that, I was everything to somebody. And the tiniest person I'd ever held became everything to me. I wish I could say that in the last 7 years I've taught her lots of things. But the truth is, in 7 short years, she's taught me most of the really important things I hold closest to my heart.

My baby, my very first baby is 7 today.

And what a treasured joy she is to me. At 7 years old, Elizabeth has the most tender heart of any child I know. She loves fiercely, freely and wholly.





She's easy going, laid back and yet, totally detail oriented.





She's always wanted to have a collection of some sort. I think she's finally found her niche with her collection of bracelets/hair ties. Seeing her arm full of them makes me laugh because she is such her mother's daughter.





I find myself performing the constant balancing act of allowing her age-appropriate freedoms and still keeping her closely tucked under my wing. She's determined to be independent, almost as much as I'm determined to protect her fragile, gentle heart.









Laughter regularly spills out of her, both because of herself and because of others. She's joyful and loves nothing more than a night with her family, some good laughter and maybe a few cupcakes thrown in for good measure.









And she is really, sassily silly. She knows how to make me laugh even when I'm in the worst of moods. She can turn on the goofiness and both of us are laughing in no time, enjoying the sweet release that only a hearty belly laugh can bring.

















She's a deep thinker, who loves the Lord with intention. She challenges Luke and I so much in many aspects of our faith because of her trust, understanding and belief in His power.




How I love this biggest girl of mine for so many reasons! Far too many to put into a simple post. She reminds me so much of myself, but then on another level, makes me stand in awe at the young girl she's grown to be.
I'm so proud to be her Mother and so blessed that God chose us for her parents. She hasn't stopped changing me since that first breath nearly 7 years ago to this very hour. And I pray that she never does.
Happy 7th Birthday Elizabeth! I love you so very much!

Elizabeth's Big Announcement

Elizabeth's Big Announcement from The Beaver Bunch on Vimeo.

Beach Bunny Bizzy

So, the final installment of our beach vaca is of my biggest girl. Mercy she's growing up so fast. Six years old. I still can't believe it. SIX. Who told her she could get so big?

She loved all things pertaining to life at the beach. Fanatic about the fish shaped pillow on her bed, smitten with the sand, overjoyed at the ocean. All of it. She loved every second.

Playing so sweetly with her littler brothers and sisters and obliging them with just about any game they wanted to play.

Yet also taking some time to play by herself and enjoying the option of running a toy through the sand as far as she desired.

Oh how she's beginning to teeter on the border of still little enough to play baby games and wavering into wanting to do "big kid" things. She humored me and allowed me to turn her into a mermaid.


And after a round of family beach photos, she was an easy option for a model.

That smile and her sweet laugh just melt me every time. And, even though I'm still very much her Mom/Disciplinarian most days, I'm getting a sweet taste of what, I pray, will be a treasured friendship between us when she becomes a woman.

I am so blessed to be able to walk along side her as God grows her into a woman who will do work for His glory. I can't wait to see what God has planned for my sweet, eldest daughter. Her heart already exudes so much of His love and is so tender toward so many things.

Um. You know, will still a splash or two of Sassy thrown in for good measure. ;)

A post so full of sweetness your teeth will ache afterwards

Today will be photo overload. Proceed with caution. Or not.

My amazing friend Lindy sent home some dresses for our girls. Big deal, huh? Welllllll, they aren't just any dresses! They are dresses made from KIKOIS! And, let me tell you. Have mercy at the cuteness you are about to witness. It's almost more than I can handle.

The good news is that Lindy also sent back a TRUNKLOAD of stuff (along with lots and lots of kikois) all hand made in Kenya. I'm helping with a big fundraiser in early October and once that's over I'll open the Kenyan goodies up to you, here on my blog. I'm telling you, this stuff is AWESOME. Save up your dollars now ladies. Save 'em up.

And yes, I KNOW I'm going to overuse CAPS and italics in this post. But seriously. If you think the caps are loud and the italics are over the top YOU SHOULD BE INSIDE MY HEAD.

On with the photos. I'm posting so many because I promised Lindy good pictures of the girls in their dresses and do you know how stinkin' hard it is to get a good photo of a 6 year old, a 4 year old, a 2 year old and 4 month old?

Impossible, I think.

Here's the best only one I got of all 4 of them where someone didn't have their eyes closed and Ella wasn't trying to eat her dress or Elizabeth's. And this one is good. Even though Ella is clearly more enamored with her oldest brother than me by this point.

Oh my word at the sweetness. I seriously wanna just squeeze them all until they scream. But then I'd regret it because can I just tell you how dramatic a certain 2 of my girls are. Especially those two on the left.

Their wails can make my ears bleed.

Of course, Ashlee is a baby hog, so the first chance she got to sit up by Ella and "read" to her, she did. I love how it looks like Ella is reading along with her.


But that baby hogging and sweetness was short lived because approximately 37 seconds after that photos was taken, I snapped this one.


That girl LOVES her bike. Which is hysterical because this time last year she would only walk beside it and push it. Except she thought she was riding it because when I would ask her, "Ashlee, don't you want to ride?" She'd exclaim, "I am!"

Riiiight. Except you're not.

Elizabeth is OBSESSED with our neighbor's cats. We've told her she can only pet them when our neighbors are outside and, clearly, her ear is finely tuned to the sound of our neighbor's door opening. When they are not outside, she stands just inside our yard and stares at them, like this.

Well, not exactly like that because, you know, she's looking at me in that one. But you get the idea.

And this little girl. Well, I just wanna scoop her up and eat her. I mean, when she's not busy being dramatic which is apparently her new hobby. Ashlee has officially been dethroned as Drama Queen. Queen Olivia has recrowned Ashlee but a mere princess of all things drama. I think explosive drama must come in small packages, don't you?

Good thing she's cute.

And this girl, well, I'm still adjusting to the fact that she SIX. And while I'm adjusting to her new age, she's already begun telling me stories about "Back when I was 5 years old." Yeah. That was just 2 days ago. Slow down, missy.

In this next series of photos I'd like for you to take special notice of each of the big girls' agendas. I told them to "model." Apparently, modeling to Ashlee means work.it.girl. While modeling to Elizabeth means make-sure-Olivia-is-in-the-photo-nomatter-how-many-times-your-Mom-says-to-put-her-down.

Seriously, scroll down and watch them independently. Wow. Just...wow.








Clearly my off handed instruction of "put your hand on your hip or something" was taken seriously by Ashlee. Work it sassy. Work.it.

The next one is great of the older two and I thought Olivia would be a modeling whiz too except that she decided at the last second to bend over behind her sister which makes it look like Elizabeth has the lowest kneecap known to man.

Then I started losing them so naturally we had to do a shot of "Crazy face!"

I don't know what Ashlee is raising her hand for in this photo. Maybe she thought I said "Who wants more drama?" when I clearly said, "Who can look at Momma?"

Oh well. At least I finally got Olivia in there with the older two. Even though she decided it was time for a serenade. Did I mention she sings a lot? And by a lot I mean anytime she's awake.

This is Ashlee, mid camera click leaning forward to ask, "Can I see that one? I wanna see it!"

And, showing Elizabeth some birthday love.

Clearly, never a dull moment around here. Which is fine with me, because I love it that way.

Now, who wants to buy a kikoi and make their little girl a dress just like these? Anybody? Anybody? Bueller?