My Acceptance Speech, the final draft

I would like to thank you all for coming today. Honestly, I'd say that I'm shocked and in awe that you'd come all this way to award me with such a title, but I'm not surprised.

I mean, it's not every day that you happen upon a woman like me. The things you say about me are, indeed, true. I am so deserving of this title that when the awards committee called me, I laughed a little and then wondered what had taken so long.

Yes, it would be me who had to tell her 2 year old, again, not to lick the toilet. Ever. Even if you think it's chocolate.

It would also be me who allowed her almost 9 month old baby to play with an electrical adapter. It was unplugged. But you know, the principle of the matter is that I would have never let my first born baby play with cords of that nature. But alas, I just looked at her content self and continued texting my BFF.

I have earned this award on so many levels, but the thing that is the clincher for me, I think, is my attention to detail sarcasm. When my pre-teen stormed out of the room in an emotional rage it may or may not have been me who mumbled under my breath, "If you'd have stayed 8 years old like I told you this wouldn't be an issue." I may have also told her she is, in fact, bossy and to stop acting surprised when people assign her that title.

I am also going to confess that I earned this title fully when I went to turn on the sound machine in my 4 year old's room and, upon discovering her used pull up laying on her dresser, pinched it by the edge, carried it across the house and slung it in her general direction. I believe that life is best learned in a state of surprise, so I also felt it necessary to call her name as the urine laden disposable underpants were hurling at her head.

Think fast and stop peeing the bed. It's like my catch phrase. And by catch phrase I mean, seriously, catch!

You also should know that this isn't an award I will take flippantly. Oh no. I will wear this title as a crown upon my head and, in honor of it, I will continue to tell my children who are STARRRRRVVVIIIIINGGGGG and asking every food related question in their vocabulary at 5:45pm as I am frantically finishing up dinner that our meal will consist of "food and food with a side of food." Delicious sounding, isn't it? I know it's important to encourage proper nutrition and because of that when they ask what kind of food, I will reply with a bright, warm smile, "the kind you eat."

Modeling behaviors you wish to see in your children is oh-so-very important and I take this title you have given me so seriously, that I will always endeavor to show my children that YELLING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS FROM 24 INCHES FROM MY FACE IS ALWAYS A DELIGHT EVEN IF YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT YOU'VE FINISHED ALL YOUR SCHOOL WORK AND CLEANED YOUR ROOM AND NOW YOU'D LIKE TO HELP ME WASH ALL THE DISHES AND FOLD THE CLOTHES.

Hard work ethic and ear buds have helped me push through those training sessions.

I know that many of you wonder how I juggle it all, especially the baby and the 2 year old. Naturally, the 2 year old is eager for my attention and I try so very hard to show her that she is just as special and loved as her baby sister, even though the baby needs my attention more frequently for nursing sessions.

Of course, since this seemed to be a battle ground, I offered for my darling two year old to have a taste of Mommy's milk and told her that she too, when she was younger, drank my milk. She seemed eager at the idea and so I gently unlatched the baby as my elated 2 year old leaned in. I prepared myself that it might not end well since the 2 year old now has a mouth full of teeth and hasn't suckled in a very long time. As she neared me I squeezed once, quite firmly, and 2 steady streams of milk shot forth. One landed directly into her mouth and the other into her eye.

As she shrieked and thrashed on the floor I excused myself to empty my bladder in a more suitable place than the glider rocker in the nursery.

Since I believe that every moment has potential to be a teachable one, I also reminded her that there's no use crying over spilled, or mis-directed milk.

So you see, it is with grace and meekness and a quiet, humble spirit that I accept this awarded title that the committee has chosen me for this year. I've never been one to boast in an award in such a way and I hope my acceptance speech has demonstrated exactly why I feel that I am 110% the obvious candidate for the title of

Okayest Mom of the Year.

If you would like to schedule a mentoring session, please be sure to stop by my house. Our door bell is broken, but please do not hesitate to send in the panty-clad toddler, who is in the driveway, eating an uncooked, frozen pizza, in to look for me.

Thank you all. Have a wonderful evening.

A little catching up

I've been wanting to sit down and actually blog for a long time. But, I felt pressured that my posts needed to be something of substance. And well, I don't have that right now.

But, before this was a place for me to share about missions, it was a place for me to document my family's life. It makes me sad that I've allowed that to slip away in the wake of my grief. So, my plan now is just to blog a little each week and if it gets deep in here, then it gets deep. If it stays superficial and sticks to updates on our life and our kids, that's fine too.

So, the last time I really blogged about the ongoings of our family was May. That's pathetic. SO MUCH has happened since May.

For starters, we moved in July. We bought a house, we painted, we expanded the amount of bedrooms in our house and I think we are settled. I still have stuff to hang on the walls but now it's less about the emotions behind it and more about the fact that the main level of this house was done in the 50s and the walls are plaster, y'all. PLASTER.

It's not easy to hang anything up. So if you know how to hang up pictures on plaster walls without having to drill a hole and add one of those plastic anchors, I'd love to know.

In August, we found out that Baby #8 is a(nother) GIRL! The boys weren't quite so thrilled at first, but now everyone is eager Beavers to meet this chick. Including me. Because she clearly doesn't understand that this isn't my first rodeo and it's not fun for her to lay sideways/diagonal/all on one side and rhythmically kick me in the cervix.

Around that same time, Amanda found out that they are expecting their second child. Here's a photo of us at the baby shower she threw for me in October. My first baby shower I've had since the twins, by the way. Which, A) I didn't realize there was so much new crap that was necessary for a baby. And B) It's weird having a baby shower when you've already got 7 kids. Even when I really did NEED all of the things I received because my stuff is worn slap out, but still. It's weird.

I'm 28 weeks. She's 16. No comments please. Yes, she's pregnant. I promise.

At the end of October Amanda and Nick loaded up all their possessions and their adorable daughter and moved to the other side of the world country to follow God's call for Nick to be in full time military service. We had a small 1st birthday party for their daughter (a month or so early) where I tried my best not to ugly cry. I held it together until the night before they drove out of town. Then, it was snot city y'all. Poor Luke. His pregnant, emotional wife lost it on him. He may or may not have cried a little too. We miss them just about every other second. But who's counting? Oh wait, all 9 of us are.

I was blessed with a half sister who is 13 years younger than me. She was 5 when I went off to college and I never moved back home. So we aren't as close as I wish we were. But, somehow God allowed Amanda to become just like a sister to me. Seriously. I probably annoy the crap out of her texting her all day long, telling her about the weird things my pregnant body is doing and telling her how she should live her life. And I don't really care because sisters can be annoying and bossy like that. And also, she loves it. I think.

We are homeschooling again this year. I bought this new, elaborate, beautifully designed curriculum over the summer at our state's homeschool convention. I went a whole new route and just knew it would be the perfect thing for our family. We moved, and about a month before I had planned to start school I opened the perfectly packaged boxes of curriculum, got high off the new-school fumes and sat down to plan out our days.

I stared at it blankly for two days while my planning book sat empty, called other veteran homeschool moms, debated joining a local co-op that meets once a week, panicked, tried to find all the books at the library, failed, then promptly boxed that beautiful curriculum right back up and sent it back to the company for a refund. I shed not one single tear.

We are doing our own thing this year with a compilation of resources. It might be the best year we've had so far. Which, of course, means that I'm already scheming what I want to change for next year. Because clearly I appreciate torturing myself.

The baby is due at the end of December. I'm hoping she holds on until January because it's hard to compete with the Savior of the World for your birthday and also our anniversary is December 28th and I'd like to not feel guilty when our 20th anniversary rolls around and I want to take a european cruise vacation like Jen Hatmaker is doing right now and be gone on her birthday.

Which now that I think about it, maybe coming between Christmas and our anniversary would be ideal because then if we leave on our anniversary trip I don't have to worry about being back in time for a January birthday. But if she's born early January we could just go after her birthday.

Also, Amanda will be in town through the first week in January and I'd like to have her here for the baby's birth since I'm pretty sure I don't remember how to bring a baby home from the hospital without her. Decisions, decisions.

Like I have any control over it anyway. But still. Remember Ella? Lord help me.

Chores and Kids: Putting it into practice (Part 2)

If you've not read Part 1 on Chores and Kids, do that first. You can click on this link.

Now that you have a foundation of why you want your kids to do chores, you have to implement the how. This part is, by far, the most taxing on you as a parent because these first few weeks of your new system will require lots of teaching, correcting and side-by-side cleaning with your kids.

But I promise, I promise, if you put in the hard work in the beginning, it's worth it and your children are more likely to do their work correctly, efficiently and even, dare I say, joyfully. (Or at least with minimal complaining.)

Again, as I am teaching our children how to do their chores, we talk about why we do what we do. Why do we keep our room clean? Because if it's clean, you know where all the pieces are to your toys. And, it's a blessing to your Mom and Dad and we will enjoy your room with you. Your room is your place of refuge, the calm away from the chaos of the house. Keep it tidy and you will enjoy spending time there!

Same is true for the bathroom. No one enjoys using a dirty bathroom, one that has trash overflowing, clutter all around the sink, hair all over the floor and a disgusting toilet! And, if one day, you're sick and spending more time than usual in the bathroom, TRUST ME, you'll be glad it's been cleaned recently.

Always putting the why behind what we are doing seems to help our children grasp the purpose behind good work ethic, putting in your very best and being really efficient (after all, the faster you can do your job, the sooner it's over with usually, right?).

Whew, okay. So, first, let's talk logistics.

CHORE CHARTS. This has been a source of wailing and gnashing of teeth for Luke and I since the beginning. Some of our first chore charts were so complex that it required lots of work on the part of us, the parents, to keep up with who had done what, when they'd done it, etc. We'd ask the kids to do chores and if we hadn't putting up a clean chart, marked off the list the things they'd already completed, rotated them for today, blah, blah, blah, then basically chore time was an epic fail. Finally, I realized...

K.I.S.S.

Keep
It
Simple
Stupid

So, we simplified it as simply as we could. I scoured Pinterest to find an easy chore chart. One that didn't require me checking boxes or flipping cards or spinning wheels or erasing or standing on my head while playing the tin whistle or ANYTHING because really, this thing should be self sustaining mostly, with minimal work for you, the parent. I found this link to make my own magnetic charts and adapted it just a bit for our family. I skimmed her post on the actual chores themselves and basically just stole her idea for the charts themselves.

Here's what ours look like:

(I painted them that color before we moved into our new house. The kitchen paint just-so-happened to be the same color as our chore charts. I don't really love yellow that much.)

Once you are 3 years old in our house, you get your own chore chart. Before that, you just help with keeping toys picked up, throwing things in the trash (any 18-24 month olds dream) and basic odds and ends. I keep our charts hung in the kitchen area of our house because that's the most central room where I can see what has and has not been done for the day.

Those are just pizza tins I found at the Dollar General and spray painted them yellow because, well, that was the cheapest color they had. See, here's the back of one:

I gave the kids creative control of their wooden discs and we took advantage of some paint supplies we already had and they painted their discs to their heart's content. Then I glued their chores to the front with clear modge podge. I think it helped them take a little bit more ownership over their chore charts. Maybe not, but I like to tell myself that.

For the older 3 kids, their chores are written out on their charts in words.

Elizabeth and Lucas decided to swap a chore permanently, thus the odd ball looking disc on her chart. For the younger four kids, I used clip art to show them what their chores are.

Their names as well as "To Do" and "Done" are simply some scrapbooking stickers I had laying around and I covered them with a thin layer of modge podge so the letters wouldn't pop off. Last, I bought round magnets and hot glued them onto the backs of the wooden discs. (I tried the peel and stick magnets and the magnets kept coming off the discs. Just fyi.)

Every morning that we are home, sometimes while I'm cooking breakfast or sometimes immediately after breakfast (if we have cereal or something from the crockpot) is chore time. Pick a chore time that can be relatively consistent. Before school, as soon as they are home from school, just before bed, etc. I've found that if we do it around the same general time every day, they see it coming and the complaining is minimal. Now, all I have to do is announce it's chore time. They all go to their charts, slide their magnets back over to the "To Do" side and begin. It's glorious, most days.

Now for the harder part of making charts: deciding what chores you want your kids to do. (I did a quick search on Pinterest of "chores by age" and got a gazillion results so if you're at a loss, try that.)

Here's what our kids do, but of course, you can decide which chores work best for YOUR family. I read somewhere that it takes about 3-4 weeks for your kids to master a chore, I think that's true. I think it's also important to keep in mind that some kids will be naturally gifted in doing some things rather than others. I also read somewhere (or someone told me?) that they had one of their sons on laundry duty. After several months, he politely and quietly went to his mom and told her, "Mom, can I have another chore other than laundry? When I have to fold your underwear and my sister's underwear it embarrasses me. Can I switch chores with someone who isn't embarrassed by stuff like that?" I was super impressed. Not only because he was able to articulate that it wasn't a chore he enjoyed, but he could say WHY he didn't enjoy it and he understood that just because he might not have that chore, he would certainly have one to replace it. It gave me hope that my kids would be able to do the same and it showed me that I need to respect their feelings if something like that should arise with our kids.

Lucas was in charge of sweeping for a long time. And honestly, he sucked at it. He was just BAD no matter how many times I showed him. I don't think it was lack of effort, it just isn't something he's good at. So he and Elizabeth switched. Now, Lucas does dishes and Elizabeth sweeps the floors. I'm not quick to allow kids to swap out chores because I want them to master their job so they can do it quickly and effectively. But like I said in my last post, some families have rotating charts and it works for them.

We do our chores EVERY DAY, except Sundays (and usually, if we have a busy Saturday we ditch them then, too). Soon, the older 3 will probably get one additional item on their list as will Ella, Olivia and Aaron. After all, just like in the real world, the more responsible you prove yourself to be, the more you are responsible for doing.

Everyone does these chores:

Make their bed

Clean their room

Pick up Toys

The older 3 also have this one in common:

Put away clothes (Luke or I will fold and sort them by kid. The older 3 must put theirs away.)

Our 3 and 4 year olds only have 4 chores total. So in addition to the 3 listed above, our 3 year old, Ella, also feeds the dog and our 4 year old, Olivia, (who just turned 5) cleans off and wipes off the table.

Aaron, our other 5 year old, has 5 chores. The three listed above plus he cleans up the outside toys that have been left out and he also cleans up the living room (our hot spot for toys and clutter). He also puts his clothes away and I can't seem to remember to give him another disc for that.

Finally, the older 3 kids have 6 chores each. Lucas and Ashlee are 7 years old and Elizabeth is 9. Elizabeth does the above 4 chores plus she sweeps the floor (one zone per day) and starts a load of laundry (or folds a load if there is none to start). I divided our house into 3 zones for sweeping: the kitchen, the dining room/foyer/sitting room, and the school room/hallway outside their bedrooms. She rotates each sweeping zone every day.

Lucas has the above listed 4 chores and also does the dishes once per day (unloads and loads the dishwasher) and takes out all the trash - which also includes him hauling the trash to the curb on Monday nights since pick up day is Tuesday.

Ashlee has the above listed 4 chores plus she also cleans one bathroom every day (we have 2) and she vacuums every, single day.

The hard work comes in when you, Mom, have to teach your children how do do each of these things. If you simply tell them what to do and release them, then not only will you be dissatisfied with their work but they will be frustrated with their lack of knowing what your expectation is for them. Therefore, when I taught Ashlee how to clean the bathroom I walked her through every step. We alternate between using sanitizing wipes and a spray solution with paper towels. I showed her how I want the bathroom cleaned, step by tedious step. At first, it was just the basics like wiping off the countertops, mirror, toilet, putting away stray toothbrushes and rinsing out the sink. Now, we are about to move her into scrubbing the inside of the toilet.

I talked with Ashlee about making the bathroom counter a place free of clutter and that it's important to make it hospitable for when we have guests, because they use our bathroom too. A few weeks ago Ashlee did her chores and later I entered the bathroom to find it like this:

It made me laugh all day long. And I think that's the thing about watching your children do work. You should take joy in it and laugh along with them when they do funny things, cheer with them when they do a great job and when necessary, gently correct or redirect them when they don't do it just how you've shown them. Sometimes, we have to have retraining sessions and that's okay. Sometimes, Mommy completely loses her junk because her daughters' room is a black hole of death that looks like a wild pack of wolves have taken up residence. Later, Mommy has to apologize for being someone who is rude and belligerent and talk to them nicely about her expectations.

The first time I helped the older 2 girls clean their room to my standard it took FOUR HOURS. FOUR HOURS y'all. And we had just moved and I had already purged a ton of crap. Somehow, a liquified banana made it through the move. Ew.

Now, we do random checks of their chores. We don't tell them when we will come behind them and inspect their jobs. But once they are fully trained, we will.

The bottom line is, have grace with your kids. Teach them and expect high standards because I truly think, as adults, we don't give kids enough credit for what they are capable of doing. But also do your best to be merciful with them when they don't meet those high standards each and every time. Because one day, you'll walk into a room, it will look very unswept, you will realize it wasn't done, lose yourself on your child who SWEARS SHE SWEPT, you'll both be on the verge of tears, you'll retreat to your room for a breather and realize that your darling daughter DID sweep. She swept your bedroom. And made your bed. And turned down your sheets. And organized your nightstand. And left your nightstand light on so that your room looks oh-so-very inviting. And you'll feel about this big.

We tell our kids all the time that when they do their part around the house they are helping our home run smoothly, but when they go above and beyond they overwhelm us with blessings. They do a lot of the latter. Especially when I don't expect it.

Oh, one last thing! We DO NOT PAY our kids for their chores. The way we see it, Luke and I do things around our house because we live here and we love each other and our kids. They can do stuff around here because, you know, THEY LIVE HERE TOO and they love us and their siblings. So I guess I'll drag this out to a third post and tell you about how we plan to implement a new system called "Jobs for Hire" where we pay our kids for helping out around the house, above and beyond their actual chores. Because y'all, we've got some money hungry kids and, honestly, we want to teach our kids how to handle money. So, until next time....

***Edited to add***

I should include that there are other things that our kids do just because they live here. Like putting their dirty clothes in the hamper, taking their plate to the sink after meals, keeping their shoes in their shoe bins, you know, normal stuff that people do when they live with other people. Just so y'all know. That's why those are NOT included on the chore charts. In my opinion, those are part of just being a human who lives with other humans.

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Question for you: Do you already do chores? If so, what chores do your kids do at your house?

Questions for me? Ask!

Chores and Kids: Setting a foundation (Part 1)

After I posted this video on Instagram I got several inquiries about our chore system. I figured this was the best place to post about what works for us with chores.

We've tried AT LEAST 5 or 6 different chore systems since our oldest kids were old enough to comprehend chores and offer some help around the house. Elizabeth is 9 and the twins are 7, so we've been at this chore thing for about 4-5 years. Just when I'd think we'd found the holy grail of chores, life would happen, Luke and I would forget to implement it and it would flop like a dead fish. My point is, we've failed, a lot.

But finally, FINALLY we have a system that works. For now.

I've decided to break this into two parts because I REALLY BELIEVE that this first part is a big reason why our system has worked so well and lasted. So, bear with me. Part 2 will follow soon. But, first, read this:

Here's where I think we messed up a lot in the beginning, you (and your spouse) need to decide WHY you want your kids to do chores. Aside from the fact that you desire a clean house and your children can provide free child labor, what are your hopes with a well executed chore system?

For us, these were the big ones:

* There's a lot of us. We make a lot of (big) messes. Luke and I were ragged from doing all the cooking/cleaning/housekeeping/laundry/parenting and our house was a perpetual wreck (like, not just toys strung amuck or dishes in the sink - DIRTY). We needed help. Plus, our kids live here too. The last thing we want is to raise entitled kids who think that everyone should serve them all of the time. Responsibility is learned by having things you are responsible for.

* We want our children to know and understand the value of hard work.

* We wanted to be able to take pride in our home. It may not be the most immaculately decorated house in the world, but a clean house is one to be proud of, in our opinion. When our chore chart doesn't flow smoothly, our home is habitually a wreck. Our family (even our kids) enjoy having company and friends over. When the house is messy we are all embarrassed by our home. It's not fun to have company over, often on short notice on our part, when your house is always messy.

* Luke and I can more readily enjoy our children, spend time doing things they enjoy and feel like our home is a place of refuge, not stress, when our home is tidy and everyone does their part. Luke comes home from work less stressed, I yell a lot less, we can do fun projects together or play football in the yard, or roast marshmallows, whatever, when the inside of the home has been cleaned that day.

* Luke and I set appropriate expectations for what our home should look like. After all, we have almost 8 children ages 9 years and younger. Our house shouldn't look like it belongs in a magazine. It should look like children live here! Messes are to be expected. When our children help clean up, it won't be perfect. But it will be better than it was before and we can gradually help them get better and faster at their chores which results in one step closer to "perfect" than before.

So what are your goals for chores?

When our children were really young, our main goal was to teach our children to help out, take responsibility, and see that even as a child they can do something to help their family and be proud of themselves when they accomplish a task. Now that some of ours are older, we expect more.

For example, when Ella's chore is to make her bed, we are perfectly fine with it looking like this:

We've shown Ella (3 years) how to make her bed and this is her very best effort. And her best effort is good enough for now.

But for Ashlee (7 years), when her chore says to make her bed, we expect much more. Her bed should look more like this:

When it doesn't, we remind her that she didn't do her best and ask her to try again. Our expectations and even our goals change as our children get older.

A few weeks ago our children were grumbling and complaining about doing their chores. Nearly every time I announced it was chore time, wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued. So, I had a quick family meeting off the cuff. I had already tried yelling, getting angry, making threats and none of those things worked (shocking, isn't it?). I realized I hadn't sat the kids down in a while and reminded them why we need them to do their chores.

I told them all very simply, "When you do your part around the house, our home runs more smoothly. When the laundry is put away, the floors are swept, the dishes are not piled high in the sink and your bedrooms are clean, it gives us more time to spend as a family. Daddy comes home and enjoys his house rather than having to start another job after he's worked all day.

When you don't help out, then it makes life more stressful for myself and your Dad. And right now, our lives are stressful enough. We can't do it all, so we need help. If you are not willing to cheerfully help us around the house then we will have to hire someone to help us. But Daddy only makes a certain amount of money. So, if we hire help, we would have to take that money from another area. The only area that money can come from right now is your extra activities. So, if you decide you cannot help cheerfully, then we will use the money from horse riding lessons, karate, ballet and gymnastics to hire someone to help clean our house. It's really your choice."

We've not had much grumbling and complaining since that day. And I didn't tell our kids that as a threat. I was totally serious. I explained it to the kids calmly and matter-of-factly because it's true. Luke and I cannot do it all and we do need help. (And if you think you can do it all, Momma, you're kidding yourself. And doing an injustice to your children.) They can choose to bless their family by helping and in return receive blessings or they can choose to not bless and reap the consequences from that choice. (One child did lose the privilege of their extra activity one week for having a T-total meltdown when asked to redo a chore that was only half-way done. Life lessons, friends. It was hard on Momma, too.)

Kids have the ability to understand much more than we give them credit for.

Second, we used to have a more complex system where people rotated chores each week. And maybe one day we will try that again. But for now, and with our children, we've found that giving each of our kids a set list of chores that stays the same each week makes it easier for them to accomplish their jobs more quickly and with more efficiency. After all, how you feel if each week you went to work and you had to learn your job all over again? What if your job changed each week, yet your boss expected proficiency upon demand? That seemed stressful to me, especially for our children at the ages they are. Yet, I do know families who have a rotating chore chart and it works beautifully. For them. Not so much for us. Plus, when our kids do a chore week in and week out they get good at it. Ashlee can clean a bathroom in 5 minutes flat. As it gets easier for her, I add one tiny thing to make the bathroom sparkle just a little bit more. It's not so overwhelming for her and in turn, the bathroom is one step closer to the kind of clean I really desire. Win-win!

Finally, (for this post) choose age appropriate chores for your children. I'll go into this in further detail in the next post, but this was key for us. It's a balancing act to figure out when a child's chore is too easy or too hard. For a long, long time Elizabeth's chore (she's 9 years) was feeding the dog. She enjoyed it so it stayed her chore for much longer than it probably should have. But finally, she passed that chore off to Ella and, GET THIS, she was the one who got to show Ella how to correctly feed the dog! Elizabeth enjoyed the time of teaching and Ella enjoyed the thrill of being in charge of something a "big kid" used to do. Ella aspires to do it well because it was a big kid job and Elizabeth is proud be a teacher.

It boils down to setting a foundation for your family, a tone, of what the purpose of chores are in your home. We want our kids to feel empowered by accomplishing a job all on their own and doing it well! We want them to see that they are able to bless us just by doing simple things. We want them to know that when we all work together, we can accomplish big goals (like having the house clean in under an hour)!

What are your goals for your family with your children doing chores? I'd love to hear your reasons and ideas!

Das Not Funny! Friday: Confessions of a 3rd grade homeschooler

We finished up Elizabeth's standardized torture test about half an hour ago. As soon as we closed her booklet we flung our arms around each other and squealed with delight that she is now "officially" a 3rd grader. While I was busy packing up materials to return to the scoring center, she bounced off to her room carrying my iPod, unbeknownst to me.

Below is the video she made. My heart swells with so much joy over this precious girl. She's full of personality, that's for sure. Too bad she's a sheltered, introverted, unsocialized homeschool kid. ;)

Objects not obstacles: A mothering confession

In the early hours of Monday morning, my husband returned from a four day trip to Colorado. At which point I droggily blew my stinky morning breath in his face, kissed him somewhere in the vicinity of his lips and then slumped back into my pillow, grateful to have my husband - and subsequently - my normal life back.

He left supremely early Thursday morning to catch at 6am flight. So, with the wonderful help of grandmas, I was a single parent for 4 entire days. It's not a job I'd like to apply for anytime soon.

Typically, when my husband gets an extended break and I do not, I have duel emotions. While I'm thrilled that he's getting some time to recharge, somewhere in the recesses of my selfish heart I face each day with a countdown mentality. Only 92 more hours and then he's back, sort of thing.

But somewhere around Friday morning, amid the chaos and the noise of all of these blessings, I felt myself having a supernatural amount of patience. I'm sure we've all had spurts of that at some point but for me anyway, it has never lasted more than a few hours and then I bottom out like a ship in shallow water at low tide. I ride the waves of selfishness until, finally, I blow up at the kids over something trivial like opening a box of crackers or refilling a sippy cup.

But not this past weekend. Granted, I had much help from my Mom and Grandmother, but even still I felt different. I felt peaceful, patient, kind and even, dare I say, joyful to have all seven kids all by myself.

Trust me when I say that this is not the norm for me, y'all. Sure, I enjoy my kids immensely. I love being home with them all day and schooling them. I love their quirks, the funny things they say and how they give and receive hugs and kisses freely.

But by 5:30pm, I'm ready for my husband to walk through the door.

On Sunday morning, I cheerfully arose early and got all seven kids dressed, fed, hair combed, snacks packed and loaded into the van. Alone. And we got to church early y'all.

Last Sunday is proof that the Lord still works miracles people. Not because we were early for church, per se, but more because I didn't lose my mind (or my religion) before we got there. Sometime on Sunday evening, I sat in bewilderment at how and why I'd had so much patience, joy and cheerfulness over a long four days of what could have been stressful, annoying and down right ugly.

I felt the Lord press on me a truth that nearly knocked me over.

You see your children as an obstacle to your mothering.

Um, excuse me God? What?! How can my kids be an obstacle to my mothering? They're the reason I'm a mother!

He whispered in my soul...

Really? So the frustration at spilled drinks, messes, bottoms to wipe, loud chatter, you don't see those as an obstacle? I think you do.


Yeah. I guess I do. The truth is, instead of expecting my children to be, well, children I expected them to be less hassle. I had this expectation in my mind of what I should look like a mother, what our children should look like and how our days should flow seamlessly and when reality didn't meet my expectations, I lost control.

Yelling, frustration, angry words, unkind redirection, quick to anger, slow to show mercy...that pretty much sums up my mothering over the last several months.

I was seeing our children as an obstacle to my mothering instead of the objects of my motherly love.

The same was true for homeschooling. We use Sonlight curriculum which involves lots of reading on my part, as the teacher. As I would read or teach, the children were constantly stopping me asking questions, making comments and just generally being inquisitive. It frustrated me beyond what it should.

I slowly began to realize that we homeschool so that our children can interrupt the lesson and ask questions and their education can take on a personal form that allows for their interests to be explored.

I was viewing my own children as an obstacle to my homeschooling instead of the object of my teaching.

Then, on Sunday evening I got the heartbreaking news of a dear friend losing her unborn son. As my heart cried out to God on her behalf, I realized even more how much I should be treasuring these children God has given me rather than viewing them as distractions and obstacles.

Truly, my mind has been so focused on accomplishing tasks, getting our schooling done and all the things that come with motherhood that I lost sight of what is really important. Having a large family means that lots of things must work in a specific way for laundry, meals and everyday life to run smoothly. But those specifics should never be exchanged for discipling my kids, in every moment showing love, mercy, compassion and a genuine interest in things they are interested in.

I need to cherish my children and all of the frustrations that come with them.

Are there going to be days ahead where I lose it, get frustrated and make mistakes? Of course. Should I have expectations of my children and set boundaries? Without a doubt! But I was focusing on the tasks and not the people, which should never be the case.

Before I know it, these treasures of mine will be grown and graduating college and moving out to accomplish the lives and tasks the Lord has set before them. And I will have the joy of watching them from the sidelines as they do wonderful things for the glory of God. Until then, teaching them to love each other, love the Lord, serve Him faithfully, cheerfully and obediently is my goal. I pray that I never again see them as obstacles to my goal but rather, the objects of it.

Ketchup

This will be a totally random Ketchup post. You know, catch-up. Ahem. Anyway.

My milk supply is almost totally back. I ran out of the herbal mix (Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, Fennel Seed & some other stuff) of Lactation Support I was taking and switched to taking plain ol' Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle. I'm loading my body down on both and my supply has skyrocketed. Okay, so maybe not skyrocketed but it's back and much, much better.

Since I posted about my Nursing Woes (and you guys poured out support, thank you!) we've only had to give Ella a couple of bottles of formula and those were either late at night or in the middle of the night. (Which, I mean, HELLO sleep because Luke can totally mix a bottle of formula! Woot!)

I really think it was a compilation of several factors that caused my supply to plummet. This weekend and even this morning it appears as though my supply is back completely. Thank you all for your concern, suggestions and even offering you own milk reserves. Y'all rock!

It snowed again today. This is already our 3rd or 4th snow of the winter. The last snow was decent and we had snow on the ground for several days. They called for today's snow to be a Winter Storm (which, in the South, means that it will cover the ground and all milk and bread will be gone from every operating grocery store). It was merely a heavy dusting. Enough to close the schools (I know. You Northerners can insert a huge eye roll here.) and make everyone panic. It has stopped flurrying and it's unlikely we will see anymore today which just makes me so happy.

Can I just tell you how much I am OVER the snow and cold? I mean, I normally like winter but PLEASE come on Spring! My kids are driving me crazy in this house all day. And I refuse, refuse to bundle them all up by myself and take them out because that's a recipe for everyone's bowels to move at the exact same time.

I've never wanted to battle seasonal allergies so much in my life. Um..yes, pollen? Please come quickly. We have an urgent issue here on the South Eastern Coast. It's called Winter and I think you are the only hope of ever seeing the warm, fresh sunshine again.

Though I will say that on days like today it is nice that we homeschool so that we can trudge through the day as usual and in 2 months when it's beautiful outside (and all the students are sitting in their classrooms looking longingly at the sunshine through their classroom windows) we can take a Snow Day and play in the sun while Momma gains some sanity.

Finally, I'm helping our amazing babysitter/Nanny plan her June wedding. They have a beautiful site reserved for the ceremony and reception and her dress looks stunning on her. But, she and her fiance are footing the majority of the bill. If any of you have any good, inexpensive and classic ideas for an outdoor wedding I'm all ears.

Her fiance is from New Orleans, so we'd like to have a touch of the French Quarter at the reception. You know, the classy side of New Orleans. ;) Seriously, any tips, websites or ideas are welcome.

Y'all have a superb Monday.

A homeschooling post of relatively no importance to you, the reader

I realize that to the vast majority of you this won't make a hill of beans difference and, in fact, this post might make you want to gouge your own eyes out. But, part of my purpose (and justification) for keeping up this blog is so that I will remember the things of our children's childhoods that I would otherwise forget. This post will fall into the "only Mom cares about those memories" section. Sorry if you came to read something riveting. Today's post is hardly that.

Homeschooling.

Just like everything else in the world it comes with it's own misconceptions and stereotypes. Yes, our family probably supports some of those stereotypes (big family, conservative, lovers of Jesus, living frugally, incredibly witty and charming), so when I really felt like Homeschooling was for us I have to admit that I didn't want to be one of those freaks who homeschool. I really didn't want our kids to wear denim prairie skirts everyday or have long hair continually tied into buns. I also didn't want them to be anti-social. I mean, I used to be a public school teacher for crying out loud, clearly, clearly I knew I could teach our kids but as for the rest of the stuff that public (or private) school offers, I was feeling a little overwhelmed. But then I realized, maybe I don't want all that extra that traditional schools offer. Thus, we settled on homeschooling.

Now I'll admit that homeschooling isn't for everyone. (Although I think it's pretty cool to sit and watch your own kids finally "get" something they've been struggling with. I remember how excited I used to feel when one of my students finally grasped a tough concept. Well, if you're a teacher and you know that feeling, multiply it by about a bazillion when it's your own kid. That right there is reason enough to consider homeschooling.) But what I've found that has already made the 6 days of our schooling for this year MUCH easier than all of our combined days last year is that my perception of school had to drastically change. My expectations of what school at home looks like is much different today that it was this time last year. No more busy work in their seats (Remember, I used to be a public school teacher. I thought completed worksheets were a product of how much we had learned that day. Um..notsomuch.), no more expectations of a time-focused schedule, no more expectations of how fast or how slowly we should work through a concept.

Truly I could write post upon post of each of these topics but I won't. At least not now. This year, Elizabeth's FIRST GRADE year (holy smokes when did she become old enough to be a first grader?) we are using the following resources/curriculums.

We start our days off with a Morning Meeting. This includes changing the calendar, adding numbers to our 100 chart, graphing the weather, writing and singing the days of the week and memorizing a Bible Verse. You can read more about our Morning Meetings by clicking here and reading my BFF's post on their Morning routine. I totally stole every bit of it from her.

Spell to Write and Read: We tried this spelling, reading and writing curriculum last year and it flopped like a stinky, dead fish. This was totally my fault since I thought I could pick and choose what I wanted to do with this method of teaching reading. And, with most curriculums you can pick and choose. But not with SWR. SWR is pretty systematic in it's teaching and if you leave out one of the components it makes the whole kit and caboodle fall apart. So, we went back to square 1, regrouped and began again. What I love about this program is that it's not leveled by grade. Instead, it's leveled by ability and progresses as the child learns. We are 6 days in and Elizabeth remembered the first set of spelling words from last year so well that I'm sure this week will be a breeze.

Handwriting Without Tears: We've done HWT since Elizabeth was 4 and I still love it. I love that it is created by Occupational Therapists and adapted so that the students learn to print on levels that are age appropriate. Lucas and Ashlee are doing the "Get Set for School" workbooks and Elizabeth is doing the 1st grade level workbook. They are fun and the kids really enjoy them along with the songs and fun rhymes that come along with the program. Elizabeth won't do this everyday but most likely 2 to 3 days a week. Lucas and Ashlee will be using this program for number and letter recognition and to practice their handwriting.

Math-U-See: Oh how I wish I'd known about this curriculum when I taught 6th grade Math! Seriously, this is a math lovers dream. I'd guess it's also a Math haters dream. Our kids just love playing with the blocks and creating all kinds of things. And, I let them. Because I figure if they associate playing with the block as being fun, then when it's time to work with them they'll think it's equally as fun. Elizabeth is finishing up her Kindergarten Primer and will be moving into the Alpha book soon. She's already reading and almost adding 3 digit numbers. Math is, by far, her favorite subject. Just like her Momma. ;)

Bible: As I said above, the kids are memorizing a verse per week. We are using a workbook that a friend gave me that has a verse for every letter of the alphabet. I incorporate hand motions and the oldest 3 have really picked up on them quite quickly. All 3 of the oldest kids can recite Matthew 7:7 and Galatians 5:22-23 from memory now. I love watching them recite it with their little hand motions. They are so proud of themselves too! I've been introducing 1 verse a week, but as they catch on more quickly I'll probably move to 2 verses a week. After we finish that we will move to our Picture Smart Bibles. My Mom purchased this for us at Homeschool Convention this year and I can hardly wait for us to start! It looks like it will be excessively cool and a fun way for our family to read through the Bible together and still keep the attention of the kids. We've still been using our Jesus Storybook Bible for our family Bible reading time but we've read through it about 4 times already and I think the kids are ready to move onto something a little more detailed.

Routine: One thing I've found out about myself is that I really don't like schedules. I love routine, I loathe schedules. For me, doing things in a certain order rather than being dictated by the time on the clock makes much more sense for our family. So, I've written down an outline and order of how I'd like our day to go. Rather than doing a schedule where our activities are based around the time on the clock, we flow through our day based on "what's next" and it is so much less stressful for me. On days like today where I had to take Ella to get some shots early this morning, I could still pull out our routine and start with the first thing on the list. We were still done with school by 3:30 and we accomplished everything I had on our lesson plan. I feel accomplished when I check something off the list rather than defeated because I'm an hour "behind schedule."

Art: The older 3 are taking art lessons once a week for an hour each Friday. Elizabeth took them last year and this year Lucas and Ashlee were old enough to join her. So far, it's working out well. Ashlee is all about art. That girl could color until the cows come home. Elizabeth loves it equally so, and I've been exceedingly proud of Lucas the last two week since he's lasted for 50 minutes of the 60 minute art lesson. Only during the last 10 minutes does he begin to lose interest and ask if it's time to go home. I really only expected him to last 15-20 minutes but he's proven me wrong...in a good way...finally.

As for being physically active, well, I don't think lack of physical activity is a problem around here. But as for organized physical activity, all 3 older kids will be playing Upward Soccer in the fall and Upward Basketball/Cheerleading in the Spring.

My Mom is awesome about supplementing their education when the kids go to MeMe's house. She is teaching Elizabeth to sew on the sewing machine and they've already made several outfits. Not really any that are especially detailed and they're all mostly for dress up but Ashlee has sported a skirt made at MeMe's to church and Elizabeth has worn her dress out in public as well. But if you've read here for any amount of time you know that I don't really care what my kids wear as long as they are clothed modestly and they won't get heat stroke or frostbite.

And that about sums it up. I already look forward to our school days much more this year and I'm so thankful that I've found a way to make it work for us and that God finally altered my view of what school at home should look like.

Do you homeschool? Why or why not? And if you do, what curriculums do you use and why?

School is back even though it never really left

This week we kicked off our "new" school year. To be honest, we never really stopped having school this summer, albeit it was sporadic and much less structured than what I would like. My goal for Elizabeth's 1st grade year (holy smokes! FIRST grade?) was for it to be much more routine and have much more structure than last year.

Kindergarten didn't shape up the way I would have liked for it to. Instead, we took many breaks, weren't consistent in the least and I think that it set a negative tone for when we "did school." I'm trying to mentally cut myself some slack because last school year our family went through many changes...Mommy puking all the time...moving...new baby....

But the truth is, I didn't make school a priority and we all suffered because of it. After reading this post my BFF Amanda posted over on the homeschool blog we are (suppose) to co-author, I realized that starting our day off with consistency will in turn lead us to days and weeks and a whole year of consistency. Today is day three of our "Morning Meetings" and so far the kids and I love this time. And on both Monday and Tuesday of this week we accomplished everything that I had planned! Yay!

I'm beginning to remember why I have always loved being a teacher. And you know what? Having my own kids as students is just icing on the cake.

I would list for you all the ways I'm not Type A but that would require another list

My mind is spinning in such a tailspin that until I get some of this out on paper (or onto virtual paper) that I don't think I can properly function. That's what I do when I'm stressed, I make lists. I'm sure Luke LOVES my stress-induced Type A tendencies because normally I am so the opposite of Type A that I'm Type Z or something.

When I begin making lists you know I'm getting anxious. Currently I have 5 separate lists saved to our Desktop. 5 separate, yet totally related, lists titled such things as:

Needed for Baby
House Stuff
To do for the move
Repair requests that need to be done
Ways God is working (This one is SO cool and I can't wait to share it with you all.)

Not to mention that I have scribbled notes on about a bazillion pieces of paper that I can no longer find (see, not so Type A am I?). My organization skills are on overload. If you're Type A this will be the only month of my life where we can coexist peacefully. Hence the fact that my husband is LOVING that I'm a go-getter right now. LOVING IT I tell you. I think his photo is in the dictionary or Wikipedia beside Type A. And if you look up the antonym you'll find my photo.

So, why not continue my list making right here? I will, thankyouvermuch. Except this list is of things that are weighing heavily on my mind. So heavily I know nothing else to do other than list them, in a list-type fashion so that I feel like I'm accomplishing them. Or something like that.

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These past few weeks I have stunk it up homeschooling Elizabeth. Between being physically fatigued from just being pregnant to battling a never-ending cold to dealing with all the things that come with selling our house and my Maw's surgery we've done very little in the way of schooling.

She did explain reversible change (thanks to Sid the Science Kid) to Ashlee so I know she's soaking stuff up. But I feel like such a failure as a homeschooling mother. Especially because she desperately wants to know how to read and that's something we have to work on during naptime so I can give her my undivided attention and by that point in the day I just want to lay in the bed. I am using that time to read aloud to her, but still...

I've even thought about enrolling her in school for the next 2 months just so her brain cells don't die off and be shed for eternity. I worry about her loosing critical brain storage space while I'm floundering with having a baby, moving and such. At least if she's in public school she'd be learning something.

Even though it may not be what I want her learning.

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I think the use of the TV is the sole reason I will not end up yelling at my kids continually for the next 2 weeks. PBS Kids is educational, right? What about Porky Pig?

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My Darling child continues to drive me crazy. I reprimand Darling for the EXACT SAME THING every.single.day. Often multiple times a day...

"Darling we don't jump on the bed.
Darling, please don't touch that.
Darling, please don't pull all the clothes out of the drawers.
Darling, please don't climb onto the table.
Darling, please don't throw your food on the floor.
No, Darling, this is what's for dinner (or lunch or breakfast). Mommy isn't making anything else. Please eat.
Darling, STOP IT!"

It's exhausting and I feel like a failure when it comes to parenting my Darling.

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My quiet time is so sporadic. When I make time to be alone with God I am so tired that my mind drifts off to a happy place where I don't think of anything. I know that quiet time with the Lord would calm the other areas of my crazy life so I try hard, I really do. But my mind is so weary and I just can't comprehend what I'm reading. And, if I close my eyes to pray I almost fall asleep.

It's so frustrating because I feel like it's all my fault and yet I can't do anything to make it better.

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OH MY WORD THE COLD WEATHER! Please, no more snow or cold weather we need to go outside. And bundling all the kids up in 57 layers of clothes is so tiring, especially when I'm 99.9% sure that as soon as we get outside someone will poop their diaper or have to come in and poop. And then I feel selfish because it's just easier on me to stay inside where we can all be close to the toilet and in 1 layer of clothing or less. And so I can sit on something that doesn't make my pelvis feel like it's about to split into two pieces.

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I am just overwhelmed and humbled at the friends that are pouring out of the woodwork to help us with this move. Seriously, if I think about it too much I just get teary eyed. I'm pretty sure we are blessed with the most gracious, giving, serving friends on the planet.

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We still have so much to do to our house before closing. We have to paint (per our contract) all the places that have marker or crayon on the walls (which is our entire basement and most of the girls' room) and have trees removed from the yard and just MOVE OUR STUFF. Geesh, when will we ever get all that done?

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I loathe calling all of our accounts and changing our address. I just loathe it.

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Last night our whole family had cereal for dinner. All of us. How pathetic.

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And then, THEN I think, "What happens if we do all this stuff, move all our stuff and the deal falls through at the closing table? What then?"


Have mercy. I think I'm going crazy. Just plain crazy. Anybody wanna join me?

School at home

I updated the homeschool blog that I co-author with my BFF. Can I still say "co-author" when I've technically only written 1/5 of the posts over there?

I'm gonna say "yes" and if Amanda doesn't agree I'll just delete her comment.

Kidding, kidding...sorta.

So if you care about our homeschooling adventures you can click here and read that post.

And if you don't care, well. Consider this your day off from me. Unless you count the previous 6 or so lines you've just read. Then, consider this an un-day off.

Or something like that.

Mmmkay. Buh-bye.

Babies don't keep

The good days in my house make the bad ones seem so trivial. Today, all 5 kids are in a great mood. Lucas is being a polite, little gentleman to his sisters. The girls are using their manners, saying please and thank you. The big kids were incredibly obedient while Baby Girl received her weekly, in home physical therapy this morning. We ate at a lunch table abounding with laughter.

Elizabeth told me she likes it when I call her "My love" and then she proceeded to write the following spelling words without any help from her teacher (that would be me): top, six, red, my, and & cat.

Today, I feel like the best Mom in the world. My sink is full of dishes, my laundry room has exploded into the hallway once more and my kitchen is a wreck but my kids and I have had an awesome day. One full of smiles and laughter, giggles, hugs and kisses.

It reminds me of this poem by Ruth Hamilton:

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Ruth is right, babies surely don't keep. See....

And to think. This little baby wrote out six spelling words all by herself today. Crap, where did I put those kleenex?

(Just to clarify, the above photo is of Elizabeth, all of 2 days old. Babies don't keep, not one bit.)

Homeschooling Woes

It's been another interesting week around here. I wish I could say something profound, or even witty, but I'm afraid my brain is on a vacation. Tomorrow we head out to Bible Study in the morning, then we have SO MUCH homeschooling to catch up on.

Here's my predicament:

We wake up, eat breakfast and have play time while I feed and diaper babies and clean up from breakfast. Then, we begin schooling. Usually, it is interrupted by poopies or snacks or boo-boos or some such common occurrence. I promise myself, and Elizabeth, that we will finish during nap time, but when nap time finally gets here I just want to SIT and do nothing in the hopes that I can recuperate from the morning and not grow increasingly nauseous. So, what we plan for nap time gets pushed to the next day.

It's a viscous cycle and one that I'm afraid I'm not doing too much to break. Any advice from you "seasoned" homeschoolers for this worn-out, nauseous, brain-dead Momma?

Come on people, I know you've got to have SOMETHING....

Kindergarten, The Perfect Recipe

Today we venture into our first "official" day of Kindergarten. That's right peeps, I ACTUALLY planned out our ENTIRE week of school, in my planner, on Saturday, with notes and copies made.

In my opinion, it's a recipe for success. Unless you mix in 1 overly enthusiastic five year old, 2 rowdy, easily distracted three year olds, one walking, needy 14 month old and 1 ten month old crawler, who has figured out how to get into everything. Then it could be a recipe for disaster.

What's that? I forgot to tell you that Aaron is walking? Oooooooohhhh yeah. EVERYWHERE. He's pretty good at it too. Unless he wants to get somewhere fast, then he resorts back to his lighting-quick bear walk. He's been clocked at 10 mph. Okay, maybe not but it sure feels that way.

What's that again? I forgot to tell you that Baby Girl is finally crawling? She is. And she's oh-so-proud of herself. Usually after crawling for a short while, she sits up and gives me a huge grin, squishing her entire face together and showing her two, itty-bitty bottom teeth. Oh yeah, she cut two teeth also. Geesh, I've have been slack, huh?

So that's our day today, in a nutshell. With all my planning it's totally a recipe for success. Unless you mix in all the people I have to take care of, not to mention lunches I have to prepare and naps to be had, bottles to be fixed and diapers to be changed. Then, well, it may look more like chaos. But, it's my chaos and I love it.

For The Love of PBS and All Things Fiesta

For over a year now, Elizabeth has been asking for me to teach her how to speak Spanish. Since my Spanish is only fluent in the presence of my good friend "Jose" and his partner, "Rita" I opted out of teaching her from my own knowledge base. Instead, I took on the task at last year's Homeschoolers convention to find a good Spanish curriculum that was, er..."compatible" with my DVD player.

It was then, while I endlessly scanning the shelves for a Spanish teaching course that my "friend" Emily told me of the Spanish kits that she had at home, free for my use. I am using the term "friend" loosely with her now, or at least until she lavishes me with profuse apologies. Let me explain further.

A few months after last year's convention, Emily brought by two confetti splattered boxes, promising that Elizabeth could sit and watch, and I believe she even used the words "learn some Spanish."

Those boxes, ashamedly, sat in our garage (just where she sat them down) for an untold number of months. In fact, I distinctly remember moving those boxes inside one afternoon, not so long ago, when I knew that Emily and her children would be coming over for a playdate. After all, I didn't want her to think I was carelessly allowing them to sit in our hot, dirty garage, mindlessly collecting dust.

Flash forward to last night. Luke and I were debriefing each other about our day (okay, I was spilling forth the tireless efforts of nap time to him, looking for some sympathy). I stated to my sweet, dear husband that I thought that Elizabeth was finally, and all too sadly, outgrowing her nap. He very tenderly suggested that I use that time to show Elizabeth a video on letters or numbers or something educational.

"Well, we do have some Spanish lesson videos somewhere around here," I casually commented.

"Oh, she would love those, wouldn't she?" he added.

I agreed and thought to myself that it was just too perfect. Afterall, Elizabeth spent most of her dinner time on Sunday night at the mexican resturaunt, treating our waitress as her personal Spanish-English Dictionary.

Yes, it was time to literally dust off those Spanish lesson videos and finally regain my sanity during nap time. And today was that day.

After deciding that my mensa-like daughter should probably start on the beginner level, I open the funfetti-esque box of goodness, almost giggling to myself. I just knew that these videos would be my key to a quiet, rested, Spanish speaking house. I located "Leccion Uno" and popped it into our...VCR? (That should have been red flag #1.)

I begin with the "Introducion." Elizabeth and I sit eagerly, waiting for the abundance of Spanish knowledge to seep into her spongelike brain. The screen flashes to life and I see two people, walking along side a large body of water, telling us about how amazing their spanish program will be for our family.

"Yes! Yes!" I silently squeal, "Get to the goods!"

For what seems like an eternity (but was really only about 5 minutes), Mr. Y Mrs. Espanol continued to explain the greatness of their Spanish video program.

"Blah, blah, blah...watch these videos with your children. Blah, blah, blah...this is a family learning session...blah, blah, blah."

I glance over at my daughter. She looks at me.

"Mom, can we get to the part where I learn Spanish?" she pleads.

I concurr and find the VCR remote. I begin to fast-forward, certain that within a few moments, pearls of Spanish wisdom will begin to flash onto our TV. I fast forward more, then more, then more AND MORE.

I keep the VCR on fast forward, go to the bathroom, clean the kitchen, mop all my floors, wash 6 loads of laundry and return to the TV. Mr. Y Mrs. Espanol are STILL discussing the grandios of their Spanish lesson videos. (Okay, we all know that was a tad of an exaggeration. But I would seriously guess that the "Introducion" lasted approximately 45 minutes. 45 minutes of Mr. Y Mrs. standing in front of a large body of water. Talking. Endlessly.)

Finally, "Leccion Uno" begins. I have to say, at least with "Introducion" we had the option of watching the waves in the background or, perhaps, grass grow.

Below is the email that I promptly sent to my wonderful, darling, idea filled husband.

Dear Honey Pie,

I guess you watched those spanish lesson videos before you recommended them to me last night?

I'm sure you have.

I'm sure your idea was that it was SO INCREDIBLY FREAKIN' BORING that it would force Elizabeth to hide her face, under a pillow, thus relaxing her and causing her to fall asleep.

Or maybe you knew that it would cause such little amounts of brain stimulation, that she would not be able to withstand the state of boredom and fall into a comatose state, causing her to nap like nobody's business.

Or MAYBE, you knew that it would cause her to appreciate PBS, thus never complaining again that we don't get any of the "fun" shows anymore.

Or just maybe, you wanted her to realize that learning spanish is NOT AT ALL FUN, and anyone who comes into "our" country should buck up and learn some spanglish.

Whatever your intentions, I commend you on your efforts. Clearly she will hate spanish the rest of her life, never want to see a confetti decorated box, and ultimately, think the Public Broadcasting System is God's gift to all children, across the country.

Love you,

Your wife (who's eyes and ears are bleeding as she types this. I wonder if blood stains are covered in the laptop's 6 month warranty?)

I'm sure my "friend" Emily will be on my doorstep soon, to retrieve not only our friendship, but her super awesome confetti covered boxes. And this year at convention, I plan on shopping for a Spanish curriculum ALONE.

It'll Take Some Time

Yesterday, you all asked some great questions, most of them I have NO IDEA what the answer(s) are. Therefore, I will use my new Bible, prayer and some time to answer them.

In the meantime, I posted again over on the Homeschool blog I co-author.

Oh, and if you follow me on Twitter, you will know what this picture is all about. Sorry for the terrible photo quality. I took it with my phone. All the ones I took with my camera show too much of his face. Hopefully, in a few months, you will be able to get to see just how truly adorable my little man is!

I call it, "Double D."

Homeschooling and Thought Gathering

I posted today on the blog my BFF and I blog on jointly.

If you're a "seasoned" homeschooler, or even if you're not, I'd love your advice.

Click here to see my post.

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I'm still tossing around the images I saw in the video I posted yesterday. I showed it to Luke last night and both of us just sat there, numb with shock and tears in our eyes.

I'd love to know your response/reaction to the video.

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Today we had an Agency Review for Baby Girl. Nothing can come of the meeting, legally, but it allowed people from different government departments to hear Baby Girl's case and recommend to DSS what the next step should be. Everyone in the room seemed to agree that Termination of Parental Rights (TPR)/Adoption is the best approach. The social worker will recommend such at our court hearing on February 9th.

Needless to say, I'm super excited. However, I pray for God's will for Baby Girl's life, above all else. I know that He has crafted her for His purpose and that where ever her forever home is, she will always be my baby.

One of THOSE Days

When the thought of everyone screaming enters my mind, these two pictures flash into my brain. Although they are hysterical now, at the time I thought I would come away from the situation bald. The twins are 8.5 months in the top picture and a year old in the bottom one.

Their faces are priceless!

It's been one of THOSE days today and it's only 2:00. These are the days when I ask God,

"Are you sure you want us to have more kids?"

Today started off early. "Early" and "Beavers" should not go together in the same sentence. We woke up early for Classical and the meltdowns began.

First, Lucas. For some reason he wanted to be held, he NEVER wants to be held. The only time Lucas likes to be held is when he's sick. No sign of sickness, just a bad case of Mommy-itis.

As I try to load up the car and collect the last few things we need, he insists on being held. Guess who is now awake screaming his head off?

Right, Baby D. Hungry. Why not?

On Mondays I try to leave our house by 8:15am so that I can get to Classical and get my room set up and still have ample time to walk 3 VERY slow people all the way to the opening in the sanctuary.

Today at 8:15am I was standing in my kitchen with 3 people screaming their guts out. Lucas wanted to be held, which in turn made Ashlee want to be held. Baby D is hungry because he didn't finish his 7am bottle. So, more screaming.

At one point the screaming was so bad that Elizabeth and I just stood in the kitchen with our hands over our ears. I'm not kidding.

Finally, everyone is loaded up and we are off to Classical. When we arrive, Ashlee is still in a "I wanna be held mood."

I set up my classroom, over the screaming children who are now fighting over puzzles. Ashlee gets her feelings hurt, again, and insists on being held. She really is just so tender.

Classroom put together, we all start the walk to the sanctuary. As we walk, Ashlee is getting heavier and heavier so I plop her on the handlebars of the stroller. We make it through the rest of Classical.

After lunch, the kids are playing on the playground and Ashlee takes a spill on the sidewalk. A nasty scrape on the elbow lands her back in my arms, screaming. Leaving the playground also poses a problem. Everyone wants "just one more" turn.

We load up and I turn on the TV in our van. For 6 minutes...peace.

However, upon re-entry of the house I discover that the screaming bug has not had time to dissipate. AS SOON AS we open the door to the house, the screaming resumes.

We scream until we are each placed in the bed, Lucas continuing to scream until he is spanked several times then hovered over until he falls asleep.

Elizabeth is still whiny, trying desperately to gain my attention from our bedroom. I guess today I should just chaulk it up to being a bad day. I know I get in a funk somedays.

When I have these days, I always wonder what the Lord is trying to teach me. Patience seems so simple and I know that something else should be gained.

Maybe He is speaking in a still small voice and I just can't hear Him over all the screaming...

Homeschool Blog

My BFF, Amanda, and I are both venturing into the unknown (at least for us) and beginning to homeschool our children.

Luckily for us, our children are still pre-schoolers, due to begin Kindergarten in a year. That means that we have a few years of polishing our skills before we cause any permanent damage to our little ones (just kidding).

Anyway, we jointly are writing a blog about family, homeschooling, etc. If you have time, and if reading about homeschooling won't bore you to tears, check it out at:

http://nothing2prove.blogspot.com/

Elizabeth's Presentation

Part of Classical Conversations is having presentation time each week. For the 4 year olds I tutor, this is basically just show and tell.

The last 3 weeks I have been a bad homeschool mom and we have not had a prepared presentation. The first week of class I could have had Elizabeth prepared, ready to be the example for the other students.

I did not.


The second week, we were walking out the door at 8:15am and I remembered that presentations were due. Elizabeth grabbed a pull along dog toy. She modeled her expert skill in dog pulling, all on a moment's notice.

I had to give her props for ingenuity.


The next week, we were (no lie) unloading the van to go into the church for Classical when I remembered her presentation.

"Elizabeth! Quick! Come choose something from the van for your presentation."

Once more, I am a rock star homeschool mom. Try to hold your applause.

She chose a blue elephant from the circus we attended last year. Yes, it was a monumental presentation. Complete with a story about her favorite blue elephant.

This week, we finally hit the target. Since we went to court this morning, I took the time to help her prepare an actual presentation for today. I mean, I had to save face for the sub!

Here is our practice run last night. If you can look past the fact she's in her undies, Lucas' boy outburst and Ashlee's fit, you might see an actual presentation somewhere in there.


Wanna know what she was reading? Her notes of course! Yes, those are my artistic skills. Do not judge me.

Oh yeah! Who gets the blue ribbon for Mom of the week? You're lookin' at her...er, reading her. The moments where I actually FEEL successful as a mother are few and far between. This one, I'm savoring.

Oh yeah, pass it over, pass it over and watch me pin it on...