How do you feel about ads?

Hey friends!

Alrighty, I need your advices and opinions.

Probably close to a year ago I applied to be wait listed on a the ad publishing site BlogHer. Honestly, I never thought they'd ever ask me to apply since my blog has small readership (comparatively) and also because I assumed that there is a huge waiting list and the chances of me floating to the top was slim-to-none.

But, about a week ago I received an email from BlogHer basically asking me to "apply to apply."

Short story, my blog has been selected to be in their database to have ads placed. I would earn revenue based on the number of page loads.

I have mixed feelings about having ads. On one had, whatever revenue we earn could be used for supplemental income - and later - to help supplement support for our ministry. (Though, truthfully, I can't see this being a big money maker. Maybe $25 a month?)

On the other hand, I know that my blog would begin being published and advertised with BlogHer and, well, I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, naturally all bloggers want to have a nice following of readers, but truth be told, I LOVE the small community of regular readers who come here. I'm not sure I want the masses coming this way and messing with the good thing we already have. Ya know?

But, in the end, Luke and I are praying about this decision - be it ever how trivial - and knowing that the Lord cares about details, even this one.

So my question for you all is this....

Would you be turned off by blog ads? Would it make you less likely to come back and read? Do you think it would annihilate the virtual intimacy that is already here?

I love that this measly little blog has connected me to so many of you who I would have otherwise never met. In fact, on our trip to Arkansas/Tennessee I had the privilege to meet two "blog friends" have our children play together and later the three of us women enjoyed a nice, relaxing dinner. Now, I'm honored to call them real-life friends.

A few of you have taken the step of faith to support our ministry both in prayer and with your finances. You truly have no idea just how much it humbles me to know you'd follow God in obedience to support someone you've never even "met."

So again, I ask you, is having an ad publishing network on here going to ruin that? Truly that's the last thing I desire.

I appreciate your insight and the way you guys care about me, my family and this silly 'ol blog.

I have a question for you

Okay, so I've had a post saved in my drafts for a while now. I've changed the title quite a few times as the post has evolved. I've been praying my way through it because I want it to say just what is bottled up inside my heart.

I've even debated not even publishing it.

But, after listening Sunday's message from our Pastor, I've realized even more that there's a question I need to ask myself and in turn, bring its answer from within the recesses of my heart and put it out here.

But, before I attempt to answer this question myself, I'd like to first ask you.

A few things first...

* You do not have to be a Christian to answer. (Although, if you post spam in Chinese/Japanese/Mandrin characters I will delete you.)

* I don't want your "church" answer. I don't want a Sunday school answer. I want a raw, real answer.

* Be honest. Honesty is healthy.

* If you feel uncomfortable answering in the comments section, you can email me your response and I'll post it for you, in the comments anonymously. You can email me at beaverbunch (at) gmail (dot) com. Please put "Answers" in the subject line so I won't think you're spam.

Okay, so here it is. It's a simple, yet a totally sincere question from my heart...

Who is Jesus to you?

I look forward to your comments.

Head of House?

My wife finally allowed me to have my own profile and be a contributing writer on here, not that I have much to contribute.

I would like to think you have all been eagerly awaiting this post, since my wonderful bride put me on the line for it. But I know that is wishful thinking.

About two weeks ago our oldest daughter Elizabeth and I had a good conversation. First off, let me set the "table" for you. I know it may take some by surprise, but at dinner there is not a lot of time to finish a conversation. (Lucas - "I got to go poddie". Ashlee - "(insert anything in a very loud voice)". Elizabeth - "What all do I have to eat to get a surprise?". Repeat the cycle of children talking, continously) Well this particular evening we ate outside. Elizabeth and I are sitting next to each other and the other children are as quiet as a mouse. Elizabeth begins to ask some questions and pose some very powerful thoughts.

Elizabeth - Daddy. What would the world be like if God didn't rule over everything?
Me - (stumped by my 4 yr old) You wouldn't see good in things, people, or your own life. There would be a lot of hurt in the world.
Elizabeth - What would things be like if I ruled the world?
Me - Well (think, think, think) You know how you have sin in your heart? You would not always make the best decisions.
Elizabeth - I would be very selfish and want things to be done my way and not God's way.
Me - Elizabeth, that is a very honest thought. Have you been thinking about this a lot?
Elizabeth - Yep. I talk to God about it a lot at bed time. When I am trying to fall asleep.
Me - You know God loves it when you ask him questions and think about him.
Elizabeth - Yeah, I know.

So after that I think about things for a solid two weeks. A four year old has thought things about God that I have never thought. How can she have deeper thoughts about God than some grown ups? Is it being innocent to the world? Or is it that she has a one on one personal relationship with the creator of the world. She longs to let God enter everyday.

Then this morning Lucas and I have a conversation:

Lucas - Dad, how is heaven?
Me - (choking on my toothepaste) God made heaven as a perfect place.
Lucas - I take my kitty kitty and show him. (kitty kitty is a night time friend for Lucas, little furry kitten)
Me - They will have the best kitty kitty's for you in heaven. But I bet you could show them yours.

You see up to this point I have been in the comfort zone of knowing I have to lead us to shephard Elizabeth, because she knows God. Well, I was woken up this morning with Lucas's questions. It revealed to me the responsibility I have, as the head of the house, to lead my wife and children in a walk with God. Most of the time it gets really scary. The biggest fear is, What if I miss it and get it wrong? I don't get a second chance at this. It isn't like the game starts tomorrow. I am at the plate in the bottom of the 9th inning. Now is the time to deliver. It gets better. This morning, I had a chance to be reminded that my God is STRONG and through him, I will deliver.

Real, Live Missionaries

Missionaries.

Some people wonder what they do? Others wonder how one could ever forgo their own life just for "missions." Yet other people ponder the day to day life of those who willingly live in foreign lands, brave unfamiliar cultures and learn new languages, all for Jesus' sake.

Personally, the questions I have range from petty to monumental. For example, if I were to be able to speak to Real Live Missionaries, I'd probably ask the following:

* How did you know you were being called into missions?
* Have you ever ridden a camel?
* Why on earth (or why in heaven) did you pick that area of the world?
* Is the toilet paper there, uh...friendly?
* What is the one thing you miss most about the good 'ol US of A?
* Seen any black mamabas...EVER?
* Where could I get a Dr. Pepper?
* What about a Reese Cup?
* I'd even settle for a Caramello. Got those?
* What do you mean bad chocolate? Wow. HOW. DO. YOU. LIVE?

If you've ever wanted to ask Real Live Missionaries these or other questions, I've got GREAT news! Now is your chance to hear them answered, in person (at least if you live near me).

Yours truly, (that would be me) will be Emceeing a full on, totally uncensored night of food, fun and a Q & A session with Chris and Lindy Thompson with Only Servants Ministries.

That's right folks, not ONLY do you get a full 2ish hours of me, uncensored, with a microphone, but you may even get your questions answered and some serious belly laughs in the process.

What's that? You live 15 states away but you'd still like to ask a question to Real Live Missionaries? Well, my friend, it won't be quite the same apart from my night of totally uncensored Emceeing, but your questions still have a chance to be answered if you head over to this post and submit them in the comment section. Also, if you're too far away to make it in for the gala evening, I highly suggest you check out this post and watch the video of Only Servants Ministries in action. It's seriously humbling. (And it may even make you wanna click on their little icon where it says "Donate" and join them in delivering the Good News to the people of Kenya. I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.)

Again, if you leave a comment on their Q & A post, not only would it have a chance of being answered, for real, on the blog of Real Live Missionaries, but I may even select it as a question to ask during the Q & A session of "A Living Room Conversation."

So head over to Only Servants' blog, and light up their comment box. I know you won't be sorry. The fun begins on Sunday, May 17th at 6:30pm at Rich Fork Baptist Church, in the Multi-Purpose Building. Be there or be square.

Questions Attempted: Redeemed By Grace

My attempt at answers are from questions left in the comment section of this post.

I sorta felt like these next questions go hand in hand so I'll attempt them together, yet separately. Also, I am going to try not to use "Churchy" words because before I was a follower of Jesus, those words were a HUGE turn-off. Let me know how I do with that, mmkay?

Once again, please remember:

1. The thought of answering questions and defending my faith makes me nauseous. Not because I do not believe, but because I am afraid of misrepresenting the One who is perfect and blameless.

2. I am not a theologian. I have never studied Greek or Hebrew and I have not attended seminary of any kind (I knew you all were wondering). This is the BEST that I can do with the limited knowledge (and jumbled Mom brain) that God has given me.

3. If I don't answer your questions it's because, well, I DON'T KNOW.

4. I do not claim to represent any specific denomination or church "sect." What I can tell you is that I am a believer in Jesus Christ, that He is indeed the Messiah and that His blood has the power to wash away all sin no matter how great or small. I've seen it in my own life.

5. Please, I'm begging you, remember that I've only been a Christian for 5ish years. I'm still just a baby. If you see an error in something I have said, please feel free to comment and correct me. However, please also back it up with Scripture. I will also use Scripture to emphasize my points.

----------

First up:

Courtney, in an effort to save a little space, I'm going to paraphrase your question. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

The general gist of your question was:
There are a lot of good people in the world. My experience with "churchgoers" and "Christians" is that some of these people do not fall into my category of "good." So, how can Christians say they are getting into heaven but claim that other, basically good people (who are not self-identified as Christians), are not? (Okay, maybe I didn't shorten your question.)

I SO struggled with this in the past. And now, knowing what I know, I still struggle (if not even more) with this, just in a whole new way. But, I must remember that the Bible is 100% the word of God and so it is there that I find my answers.

The book of Romans is amazing at outlining what it takes to get to Heaven. Anyone who gets bogged down with the speech of the Bible might try The Message version (it has helped me to understand parts of the Bible that I might have otherwise never understood).

Romans is written by a man named Paul (who used to be Saul...gotta love the name changes). When Paul was still called Saul, he hated Christians. He often witnessed and helped lead them to their deaths. However, he had an extreme encounter with the Son of God and from that day forward, he believed in Jesus as the Savior.

The book of Acts was written by a man named Luke. Luke was a doctor that traveled with Paul, recording the things that he saw along the way. I love Acts Chapter 15 because it so clearly talks about salvation and what must be done for it to be obtained.

Basically, Paul and another man named Barnabas come upon some people teaching Gentiles (non Jewish people) that they must be circumcised before they can be saved. Also, these other teachers were trying to convince the crowds that in order to retain their salvation they had to obey the Jewish (Mosaic) Laws. Paul and Barnabas believed differently, so the church decided to send them to the council in Jerusalem to ask the apostles (the disciples of Jesus...the 12 men who were his closest confidants) and elders about obeying the law and circumcision as it pertained to Gentiles.

(You still with me? I'm getting somewhere, I promise.)

Okay, so Paul and Barnabas arrive at the council and someone stands up and says, "The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to obey the law of Moses." (verse 5) Then Peter, who is like the leader of the disciples - now that Jesus has ascended into heaven - addresses the group saying the following:

"God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them [Gentiles] by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. He made no distinction between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith." (Acts 15:8-9)

So that's it! Faith. Faith that Jesus is the Savior, and trust in Him. Here's how that ties back to Courtney's question...

Good people exist, but I think we would all agree that NO ONE is perfect...no matter how "good" they might be. However, true salvation is not dependent on how strictly we follow a law or how "good" we are in the world's eyes. True salvation comes ONLY through belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of God. Again, I SO struggled with this when I first became a Christian. I knew (and still do know) so many "good" people. It made me sad to think that because they had not confessed Jesus as their Savior that they would not be in Heaven with me one day.

However, here is the flip side of that. I am a generally "good" person. Yet, I'm not good enough. God is a just God. He requires purity and blamelessness and holiness before we can ever even be in His presence (this is also something I used to have issue with...before I was a Christian...but that's another post entirely).

I can NEVER be good enough to be in God's presence, no matter how many "good" works I do, or how many other people think I'm "good." I'm still prideful and bitter and jealous and just down right sinful. So, what's the solution? Jesus. Jesus lived a perfect life, a life without sin. Because He did, and He chose to die for all people, we all have "pass" if you will. He took the blame for all sin, so that God could remain a just God, yet we can be allowed in His presence one day.

If you ask me, I'm sorta glad I don't have to work to EARN my way into Heaven. Whew...I'd never be good enough.

Which leads me to....

Kristin's, and GK's and Chasity's questions about suicide.

Suicide is a sin. Afterall, one of the Ten Commandments is "You Shall Not Murder." And, killing of oneself is, certainly, murder.

However, if we are going to keep with the Ten Commandments theme, let's keep looking. Some others on that list include, in no such order: (and I'll say "check" if I've done them)

Adultery (check): later in scripture it talks about lusting after someone other than your spouse and that such lust is considered adultery. Yep, done that.

Steal (check): Seriously. If you haven't ever stolen anything, you're a liar.

Honor your Father and Mother (check): Or rather, I HAVEN'T always honored them...and most of the time, I still fail to do this.

Misuse God's Name (check): I think we are all clear on this one, I don't need to elaborate.

No Other God's Before God (check): I've certainly put some things before my relationship with God.

Don't Give False Testimony - aka..don't LIE - (check): and refer to stealing if you think you don't lie...and yes, little white lies count.

Don't Covet (check): Once, when I was in middle school, I wanted this girl's Kriss Kross tape so bad I stole it. Double whammy....stealing AND coveting.

Now, I'm not trying to make light of the 10 Commandements or suicide, but I think if we reflect on what we know about God and what we know about sin, the answer is clear.

We are saved by grace, through faith in the Savior (Ephesians 2:8-9). If a person truly believes in Jesus Christ, has proclaimed his/her faith and has a transformed heart, then NO SIN is going to separate them from God's love and mercy.

If suicide means, for a Christian, immediate death and eternity in hell, then you are going back to "faith by works" (see my reply to Courtney above) rather than "faith by grace."

Again, if you see an error, please feel free to comment, but also use scripture to prove your points.

I pray that you will see my attempts at answers for what they are, a simple lover of the Lord, trying her best to show others how wonderful HE really is.

Please, find out answers for yourself. If you don't have a Bible, and you'd like one, please email me at beaverbunch (at) gmail (dot) com and I will mail you one. Also, don't forget about Bible Gateway.com.

Many, many blessings...

Court, Questions and Counting

If you follow me on Twitter (or even if you check my blog for my twitter updates) you already know that I am extremely happy to report that the judge changed Baby Girl's case plan to TPR (Termination of Parental Rights)/Adoption.

It was an emotional moment, filled with sadness and joy. I will surely blog about it more in depth later, but I will leave you with the knowledge that we sat 5 feet away from Baby Girl's birth mom and listened to the judge tell her that she isn't a good enough parent to keep her daughter. I still cannot explain the compassion I feel for this woman. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, and at the same time, shake her and tell her about all she is missing. I could go on, but I will post more about this later.

It could still be many, many months (probably another 6 or 9 months) before Baby Girl would be "officially" ours, therefore don't expect pictures or an adoption announcement anytime soon.

-----------

I am still reading my Bible and digging for answers to your questions from this post. I should have some more attempts at answers later in the week.

However, I would like to thank you for the incredible questions you asked and the opportunity you've given me to search out scripture, dig deep into God's word and find out some things for myself.

I challenge each of you to do the same thing. The book of Romans is full of scripture which references grace and how to be saved ("salvation" in churchy talk). If you've never read it, it's a letter from a man named Paul (a former Jew who tried to kill a bunch of Christians...who is now a Christian) to the church in Rome. Thus, the name "Romans" because that was the people he was writing the letter to.

I am also reading Ephesians (still written by Paul but to the church at Ephesus) and a little bit of the Old Testament so that I can be thorough (Mosaic law). Thanks for your patience.

(Again, if you don't have a Bible, Bible Gateway is amazing. Also, if you want one you can email me, and I'll send you one.)

---------

I can't believe that a week from today Luke and will have already been on our secluded, romantic and totally relaxing vacation for nearly 24 hours. To say that I am "ready" would be the understatement of the century. 6 more days....but who's counting and I'm counting.

Questions Attempted: Church, Prayers and People

Wowzers. I figured that there might be some tough questions, but man, those were REALLY tough. Before I try to answer any questions, let me say a few things.

1. The thought of answering questions and defending my faith makes me nauseous. Not because I do not believe, but because I am afraid of misrepresenting the One who is perfect and blameless.

2. I am not a theologian. I have never studied Greek or Hebrew and I have not attended seminary of any kind (I knew you all were wondering). This is the BEST that I can do with the limited knowledge (and jumbled Mom brain) that God has given me.

3. If I don't answer your questions it's because, well, I DON'T KNOW.

4. I do not claim to represent any specific denomination. All I can tell you is that I am a believer in Jesus Christ, that He is indeed the Messiah and that His blood has the power to wash away all sin no matter how great or small. I've seen it in my own life.

5. Please, I'm begging you, remember that I've only been a Christian for 5ish years. I'm still just a baby. If you see an error in something I have said, please feel free to comment and correct me. However, please also back it up with Scripture. I will also use Scripture to emphasize my points.

-------

Since there were several questions, I will take a few posts to answer them. But here's a start:

@ Anonymous 9:23AM: Let me address your second question first, because I think that is easier for me.

The question was:
Why do people use a prayer to be "saved" when no one in the bible did?

You are right! In the Bible, there is not a specific prayer that "saves" you. There is only one Man and his name is Jesus.

But, here is where I think the idea of a prayer came from. Matthew 10:9-10 says,

That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.

Notice that according to this passage it takes BOTH actions, the belief in your heart and the confession with your mouth. This is why I was so excited when Elizabeth proclaimed her faith to us and our church members.

My prayer is that every person begins a relationship with the Lord and grows to know him intimately, deeply and on an incredibly personal level. It wasn't until I was 2 years into my relationship with the Lord that I understood what it meant to know Him intimately and, quite honestly, I'm still learning.

As far as the term "saved," not only is it referenced in the above passage, but I actually saw this in scripture as I studied yesterday. Luke 9:23-24 says,

Then he [Jesus] said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

While this passage does not reference saying a specific prayer, it does say that a person is "saved" when they give up their life for the Savior. This is not necessarily in the literal sense (but yes, it can mean death) but rather a giving up on their former way of living. If there is not a transformation in the way a believer lives his/her life, has that person really given up their life? I think not.

Just FYI - Mark 8:34-35 says the same thing, and Matthew 16:24-25 is basically the same, but doesn't use the exact word "saved."

Okay, Anonymous @ 9:23Am, to your first question:

The question was:
How can people look at the "church" today, and say it is accomplishing the same goals as the church of the bible?

I am not terribly knowledgeable in the ways and practices of the Early Church. However, my understanding is that their desperate desire was for ALL people to know Jesus as Lord. The first followers faced incredible persecution, often resulting in death. However, they pressed on, telling everyone they saw about Jesus and the miracle of His birth, death and resurrection.

I find that, as a general rule, most churches are still doing this exact thing.

I would be curious to know more about your experiences with "church." Just like every group of people, they have their faults. Romans 3:9-12 says this about all people, that includes the "church,"

What shall we conclude then? Are we any better? Not at all! We have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under sin. As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one."

The church that my family attends is wonderful. It is rather large for our area and does a lot to help in the community and to grow its members. However, it has one major flaw...it's made up of PEOPLE. Anytime you get a group of PEOPLE together you encounter sinners, and selfishness and imperfections and drama and...well, you get the idea.

However, the thing that comes to mind when I think about a bunch of folks, gathered together, working toward a common goal, (in this case telling people about Jesus), is this:

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
~ Colossians 3:12-14

Wow. Sorta puts it all in perspective huh? Just as I am forgiven, I need to also forgive. I know that I want to be loved, in spite of my many, many, many flaws. Likewise I need to love people even though they have flaws.

Afterall, it just says I have to LOVE them, it doesn't say I have to be BFFs with everyone. I looked my whole Bible over and no where did I find a book of Claire's saying, "Thou shalt share BFF bracelets and/or necklaces with all-eth of the congregation."
And praise the Lord for that. I'm sure I'd probably drive some folks crazy if they had to be my BFF. Just ask my BFF, she puts up with a lot.

But seriously, (although I was serious with that last bit) as I continue to seek and find answers about your questions, I encourage you to do the same. Seek and find for yourself. Looking up scripture to back what I believe has been incredibly rewarding and taught me even more about this glorious God I serve.

For that, I thank you.

PS - If you don't have a Bible, you can 1) email me and I'll send you one and/or 2) check out Bible Gateway.com. It has a ton of awesome resources. If you've never read the Bible, a good place to start is with the book of James.

It'll Take Some Time

Yesterday, you all asked some great questions, most of them I have NO IDEA what the answer(s) are. Therefore, I will use my new Bible, prayer and some time to answer them.

In the meantime, I posted again over on the Homeschool blog I co-author.

Oh, and if you follow me on Twitter, you will know what this picture is all about. Sorry for the terrible photo quality. I took it with my phone. All the ones I took with my camera show too much of his face. Hopefully, in a few months, you will be able to get to see just how truly adorable my little man is!

I call it, "Double D."

Finding Out For Me

We confirmed that Baby Girl will be going to the respite home that I asked for! Yay! I just LOVE it when God takes care of the smallest of details.

Now, a mere 1.5 weeks until I'm in the blissful mountains, remembering every reason why I fell in love with this marvelous man I married....

---------

I've been studying the gospels this week, really digging into WHO wrote them and why. Before I was a believer I questioned the authenticity of the Bible regularly. I would wonder how all that stuff got in there and how I could be sure that it wasn't tainted by the supposedly sinful people that wrote it.

Today I'm going to head over to Lifeway to pick up a good study Bible, or maybe even a research Bible so that I can dig into the word and find some answers for myself. Although I'm sure there are some good books already written on this subject, this is something I need to seek and find out for myself.

Do you/have you ever had those moments where you look at Christianity or the Bible and wonder how it can all be true? I lived that life for so long. Even after I became "saved" I sometimes read some Scripture and thought..."Is this for real?"

As a mother, I now see the importance of understanding the Bible more than ever. Last night I was reading a chapter from Tedd Tripp's book, Shepherding a Child's Heart. I found that as I discipline our children I need to understand why I am disciplining them and where the sin of their actions come from. I am on authority from God to be their disciplinarian. I got a punch between the eyes when I read what Tedd Tripp said about Godly discipline:

"You do not come to your child demanding, for your own purposes, that he knuckle up to you and obey. No! You come with the corrections of discipline that are the way to life (Proverbs 6:23). You engage your son on behalf of God because God has first engaged you."

Wow. I think I've been approaching discipline with a skewed version of priorities and goals.

With all that said, I know now, more than ever, that my perception of God's word must be accurate and self-discovered. I've relied too heavily on books and "study guides" to help me determine my perception of God's word rather than digging in and finding out for myself. And while study guides and books are great for aiding in understanding, I've made the dramatic fault of relying on them for my SOLE interpretation of the Bible.

So, it is with that that I ask you:

If you are not a Christian (or even if you are) or a person who has a close, personal relationship with Christ, what is the biggest problem (or comprehension issue) you have with the Bible?

I'm sure that any answers I provide will not be that of heavy theology or come with years of research experience. However, I will do my best to answer any I feel capable.

I'll enable anonymous comments for this post.

What will WE do?

Well, I was going to post today about my frustrations with homeschooling my 4.5 year old with my 2.5 year olds acting like crazy people (and by crazy I mean continual fit throwing for over an hour).

However, I saw this video on the Bowers' adoption blog. I am now sitting here with tears all over my face, streaming onto my lap, blurry vision and a broken heart.

Warning: This video contains images that may not be suitable for all people. These children are severely malnourished and crippled.

The only question that remains is:

What will YOU do, now that you know?

What will I do?

Just So You Know...

1. If you keep up with my blog and genuinely desire to know more about our situation with Baby D, or if you're friends or family and have questions, it does not irritate me if you ask. I only get frustrated with people who ask in an inappropriate (insensitive) manner or if they are only asking to be nosy. I welcome your questions and comments, seriously. I'll let you know if you step on my toes.

2. I ran again this morning and IT FELT GREAT! I can hardly believe that I am typing those words in relation to running. I actually "jalked" more today than I did in my first run, plus I went further than I did the last time. I'm looking forward to hopefully getting a run in tomorrow morning before church or during the kids' nap time tomorrow afternoon. I can't believe I'm enjoying it this much. It's so not me. It helps that Luke is being incredibly encouraging and supportive. I have a remarkable husband.

Keep It To Yourself

I'm actually writing this post shortly after my last one, while bottles and dishes soak in the sink. After claiming I had nothing on my mind, these popped in and refused to go away. Therefore, I decided to sit back down, write them out and schedule this post to publish early tomorrow morning (Saturday).

If you've made one of these comments or asked one of these questions, don't be offended. But, I'm so freakin' sick of hearing them that I thought I'd give my usual response/answer to each of them, and along with it, say what's really going through my head.

**Warning, if you're easily offended, you might wanna stop now. If you have to stop and wonder if you're easily offended, you probably are....no offense ;) **

**It's probably also not terribly kid friendly. I'm pretty blunt. Parental discretion is advised.*** (haha)

Comments and Questions I'm SICK Of Hearing

Question 1. Wow! You really have your hands full! (Usually said by people who only have 1 kid).

Usual response: Actually, I have really awesome kids and they are usually a lot of fun to be around. I feel incredibly blessed.

What I would like to say: Yes, I do have a lot on my plate. However, your presumption that my "hands are full" indicates to me that you have already assessed my ability to do my job. Yes, this is my job. I am a full-time maid, chef, chauffeur, nanny, wife and mother (plus a few I'm sure I'm forgetting). I'm sorry that YOU feel you would be unable to do this, but during this season of my life, I feel that I am doing exactly what God has called me to do. My hands are not "full" they are overflowing with God's blessings. I wish you liked your kids as much as I do mine.

Question 2: Did his parents not want him? (spoken about Baby D, usually in his presence)

Usual response: They are still working a plan to reunify. I am unable to discuss details.

What I would like to say: Do you really think I would tell you, especially after asking in that manner? I mean, first of all, please do not talk about MY child like he is disposable, especially right in front of him. I realize that you do not think that he understands. However, getting accustomed to speaking negatively about him or his parents in his presence is not something I am willing to do. He is a precious, innocent, beautiful child, created for a purpose by God. He is desired as a member of our family and we will love him as such until we are told not to.

Question 3: How in the world will you ever give him back?
Usually followed by: I could never be a foster parent, I'd get too attached.

Usual response: God clearly led us into being foster parents. If He chooses for him to leave us, God will also help us through that process as well. (I'm usually silent regarding the second comment.)

What I'd like to say: My prayer is that I will never have to give him back. However, since God made it ABUNDANTLY obvious of His desire for us to becoming foster parents, we chose to be obedient. It was not a decisions we made overnight or spontaneously. I believe that because of God's great mercy, love and faithfulness, IF He reunifies Baby D with his birth family, God will also lead us through the emotions that would accompany that.

In light of your second comment about never being able to foster. Well, I think that if you claim you could "never" do something, you're speaking more about your belief in God than your abilities as a human. Luke and I are not super-parents. We did not have an exponential amount of love just lying around that we were not already using so we flippantly decided to add to our quiver. This is a God sized thing. We cannot do this alone. We believe that our God can work through us to accomplish things that we could not do ordinarily on our own. If you do not think God can use you in that way, I would challenge you to examine your relationship with Him. It may not be all you think it is.

Question 4: So, are ya'll done having kids? or So, you're done now, right? or Wow! Don't you know how that happens? (referencing baby making)

Usual response: Probably not. We'll just have to see what God has in store for us. (I usually just roll my eyes at the last question.)

What I'd like to say: I'm incredibly sorry that you don't enjoy your kids as much as I enjoy mine. Yes, I lay down each night exhausted. Yes, I have a lot of people to take care of each day. However, I do not see them as a burden. They are my joy. A pure gift from God. While I recognize that not everyone is called to be a parent to lots of children, the tone in which you asked indicated that you are unhappy with the children God already gave you. I think prayer and a sincere, open conversation with God would do you some good. And, you might wanna get to know your kids. They're probably a lot cooler than you give them credit for.

Yes, I know how "it happens." My husband is incredibly hot. I cannot keep my hands off him. I'm sorry you are not attracted to your spouse.

Question 5: When do you ever have time for the things YOU want to do?

Usual response: Luke and I find some time to spend independently and together. It's not a lot but it's good enough for now.

What I'd like to say: Yes, I have minimal alone/personal time. However, at this season of my life, God has not called me to be selfish. Being a parent means being selfLESS. I would much rather pour my time into raising caring, capable, God fearing kids, than be off by myself whilst hoping that my kids turn out okay. When my kids are gone and our house is empty we will find time to travel, read and knit (okay maybe not). Right now, I enjoy my kids because this time in their lives is so very brief. I'm sorry you don't want to spend time with your kids, as a family. It's really a lot of fun. Exhausting, but fun.

Question 6: Aren't your OWN kids jealous of him? ("him" being Baby D)

Usual response: They are really good with him. They love him like he's ours, just like we do.

What I'd like to say: Actually, our kids are crazy about him. They probably love him more than we do (okay, maybe not). Aside from that, he IS OUR KID. We don't differentiate between "ours" and "not ours." I could understand if you asked me how they were adjusting, but to assume that we make clear differences between the 4 children in our home is to assume that we are not loving this child with all our capabilities. I'm sorry if you feel that you do not have enough love to go around. Maybe you need more Jesus in your life.

Question 7: Now, which one isn't yours? or Which one is the orphan? or someone who already knows our situation points out to someone else That one is the foster baby! in front of all of our children.

Usual response: We are keeping the baby until a permanent placement is made. (If they can't figure out which one is the "baby" then they have bigger issues).

What I'd like to say: They all are "ours." We do not differentiate between "ours" and "not ours" just like God's love does not apply to "saved" and "not saved." He loves everyone regardless of their position. While we may struggle to love all people, the children in our home are loved as equally as humanly possible. None of them are orphans because each of them has a loving mother and father. I'm sorry that you have abandonment issues and/or feel the need to clearly isolate others.

-----
While I know that I maybe hypersensitive to these questions and comments, I also realize that many people are oblivious to the hurtful comments and tones that they use. We desire to love Baby D as if he is our child by birth and, with a few exceptions that we cannot control, we plan to do so until further notice. Once more, I am not trying to be offensive, but sometimes outsiders are oblivious. I do not mind answering questions, most of the time, as long as the person's heart reflects genuine interest, love and a desire to be uplifting. Sometimes, this is clearly NOT the case. It's offensive to me, hurtful and mostly, just rude. I try to view their questions in light of how I used to perceive things, before we were foster parents. I don't think I was that rude.

I remember very vividly about 2 years ago, being in the toddler class at our church. At our church, there is another family who used to foster but have since adopted out. As I sat there with 2 childcare workers, I listened to the conversation these women were having about 2 of the children in this family (that were also in the room). One child was theirs by birth, the other via adoption. Coincidentally, they are only months apart in age. These women sat there and openly discussed which was "really theirs" and which "was the crack baby." How hurtful! I know that these kids were not even 2 years old yet, but can you imagine having to go through life with that label? I pray for this family often.

I also pray, that if the Lord let's us keep Baby D, that outsiders will not continue to label him as an orphan, a foster baby or any other name that provokes feelings of negativity. I pray that others will become aware of their hurtful words and acknowledge that it is by God's grace that THEY are saved and it is by that same grace that God pulled this precious child out of a horrible situation and placed him into our family. I pray that God will bring into the light phrases and comments that I make that are hurtful and help me to see the error of my ways.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
~ Psalm 139:23-24