A couple of years ago Luke and I made a list of our goals for the upcoming year. I love sitting and looking at the year ahead as a blank slate and knowing that the Lord has complete control to lead us where ever He pleases. I love setting goals, listing things I'd like to accomplish and making an effort to be more intentional with my time. I'm so NOT Type A that this has been a work in progress and very much a God-led desire.
One thing I love to do, but don't get to do often enough is read. For Christmas, my parents got me a Kindle Fire. I was so stoked! I often don't have the time or energy to go to the book store or library to pick up my latest desired read. With a Kindle, it's all at my fingertips...literally. (And, I just learned that you can loan and borrow books from other Kindle users! Sweet!)
So, I thought that it would superb to make a list of the books I'd like to read for 2012 and try to them all (if not more) before this time next year. Of course, I say all of that with the knowledge that the list, the goals and the results are subject to change!
So, for 2012, I've made the following list of books I'd love to read. I wish I could say that I'd read 2 books per month, but the likelihood is that I'd only read 1 to 1.5 books per month. I'm comfortable with 15-18 books on my list for the upcoming year.
Here's my start up list. So far, I've got 14 listed so that gives me room for 3 - 4 more. And if I end up having more than 18 on my list, maybe that will motivate me to read 2 per month! I've linked the titles to the books on Amazon and the authors names to their blogs or websites (if I know about them and/or they were easy to google).
Right now, I'm about half way through The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline That Really Works! by John Rosemond. I'm hoping to finish it by New Years Day.
Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis
What Women Fear by Angie Smith
When Helping Hurts: How To Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting The Poor and Yourself by Brian Fikkert, Steve Corbett, John Perkins
When Charity Destroys Dignity by Glenn J Schwartz
Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper
I'd also like to finish Let the Nations Be Glad by John Piper
Not a Fan by Kyle Idleman
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
A Deeper Kind of Calm by Linda Dillow
Loving the Little Years: Motherhood In The Trenches by Rachel Jankovic (This is a link to her posts on John Piper's Desiring God blog.)
Forgotten God by Francis Chan
Erasing Hell by Francis Chan
The Husband Project: 21 Days of Loving Your Man On Purpose, With A Plan by Kathi Lipp
I've also got 2 books on prayer and a couple that I need to read for AIM's Outbound Training Module.
Do you make a list of goals for the New Year?
Do you have a "must read" list for 2012?
What books do you think I should add to the list?
Happy New Year, y'all!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
Mr & Mrs: An anniversary repost
I originally posted this last year on our anniversary but I thought it was good enough to post again this year. Plus, I still feel the exact same way.
And since we are officially having our Anniversary Date Night tonight, I figured this was as good time as any.
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It is a big church. The most grandiose in stature in the entirety of our small town. The dramatic roof lines and towering steeple sit perfectly atop rock and brick walls adorned with stained glass windows, all situated on the precisely manicured lawn.
It's a beautiful church. And every time I drive by I think about what happened inside.
I stand behind two huge wooden doors, stained to a perfect deep brown, waiting to walk down a burgundy-carpeted aisle. So much awaits me on the other side of those doors. Love. Commitment. Beauty.
The wedding coordinator adjusts my veil and the train of my dress.
Deep breath.
The organ begins to play the non-traditional melody of an Scottish tune, reminiscent of our college Alma Mater. The doors swing open, everyone stands up.
I blink.
It's 8 years later. And here I sit, mother to 6, wife to a man who loves me in spite of who I am. A husband who loves wholly, sacrificially and beyond my understanding.
In our counseling session at Candidate Week we reviewed the many statistics associated with our personality inventories, marriage surveys and some other psychological profiles that we sent in ahead of us.
"You have an over-idealized view of your marriage," the gray haired counselor told me, over the rim of her glasses.
I sat back in my chair, turning her words over in my mind, trying not to be defensive.
Really? Because I'm pretty much a realist in every other area of my life.
At the end of the session, she agreed, my marriage is not over-idealized in my very matter-of-fact head. Rather, I understand that I am blessed. Beyond what I deserve.
Blessed with a man who guards the purity of our marriage so fervently that he refuses to be alone with other women, even in the context of work, where such a conscience is often considered ridiculous.
Blessed with a leader who fears the Lord and seeks, with his whole being, to serve him, even if it makes our family uncomfortable and unconventional.
Blessed with a confidant, someone I can pour my soul out to, the nasty, dirty, raw and often ugly parts and he draws me close and prays over me.
Blessed with a protector, a guardian of our home and our children and someone who takes that role so seriously, he is willing to risk it all for the glory of the Lord.
I smell the familiar smell of the church and take in the pews, full of people. I look to the opening in front of me and see him, standing at the end of a flower strewn aisle. He smiles at me. My heart flutters in my chest. I reach the altar unsure of how I'm standing there since it seems as though my feet hardly moved.
We exchange vows and rings and we both cry. I wipe his tears. More sniffles echo through the rafters of the magnificent sanctuary.
We turn and face our family and friends. We are Mr. & Mrs.
We celebrate. It's glorious. Even 8 years later. It's glorious.
It's no fairy tale and my days are certainly mixed with their fair share of meltdowns and tears. And some days the kids cry too. :)
But we've come through so much. We've endured hardships and know that more are coming. We laugh together often. We love much. He still dates me. He still stops, through the bustle of our home, to wrap his arms around me and let me bury my face in his chest.
We argue, annoy the crap out of each other and forget things that are important to the each other. But we chose love above all else. We chose to bind our hearts together with God as the glue.
We walk out the front doors of the church, and the cold air hits us like needles. We climb inside the magnificent limousine and the driver shuts the door. I look at my husband.
It's over. Man, that went fast, I think to myself.
I adjust my dress. He grabs my hand. We kiss.
The driver starts the engine.
And then, the journey begins.
And since we are officially having our Anniversary Date Night tonight, I figured this was as good time as any.
-------
It is a big church. The most grandiose in stature in the entirety of our small town. The dramatic roof lines and towering steeple sit perfectly atop rock and brick walls adorned with stained glass windows, all situated on the precisely manicured lawn.
It's a beautiful church. And every time I drive by I think about what happened inside.
I stand behind two huge wooden doors, stained to a perfect deep brown, waiting to walk down a burgundy-carpeted aisle. So much awaits me on the other side of those doors. Love. Commitment. Beauty.
The wedding coordinator adjusts my veil and the train of my dress.
Deep breath.
The organ begins to play the non-traditional melody of an Scottish tune, reminiscent of our college Alma Mater. The doors swing open, everyone stands up.
I blink.
It's 8 years later. And here I sit, mother to 6, wife to a man who loves me in spite of who I am. A husband who loves wholly, sacrificially and beyond my understanding.
In our counseling session at Candidate Week we reviewed the many statistics associated with our personality inventories, marriage surveys and some other psychological profiles that we sent in ahead of us.
"You have an over-idealized view of your marriage," the gray haired counselor told me, over the rim of her glasses.
I sat back in my chair, turning her words over in my mind, trying not to be defensive.
Really? Because I'm pretty much a realist in every other area of my life.
At the end of the session, she agreed, my marriage is not over-idealized in my very matter-of-fact head. Rather, I understand that I am blessed. Beyond what I deserve.
Blessed with a man who guards the purity of our marriage so fervently that he refuses to be alone with other women, even in the context of work, where such a conscience is often considered ridiculous.
Blessed with a leader who fears the Lord and seeks, with his whole being, to serve him, even if it makes our family uncomfortable and unconventional.
Blessed with a confidant, someone I can pour my soul out to, the nasty, dirty, raw and often ugly parts and he draws me close and prays over me.
Blessed with a protector, a guardian of our home and our children and someone who takes that role so seriously, he is willing to risk it all for the glory of the Lord.
I smell the familiar smell of the church and take in the pews, full of people. I look to the opening in front of me and see him, standing at the end of a flower strewn aisle. He smiles at me. My heart flutters in my chest. I reach the altar unsure of how I'm standing there since it seems as though my feet hardly moved.
We exchange vows and rings and we both cry. I wipe his tears. More sniffles echo through the rafters of the magnificent sanctuary.
We turn and face our family and friends. We are Mr. & Mrs.
We celebrate. It's glorious. Even 8 years later. It's glorious.
It's no fairy tale and my days are certainly mixed with their fair share of meltdowns and tears. And some days the kids cry too. :)
But we've come through so much. We've endured hardships and know that more are coming. We laugh together often. We love much. He still dates me. He still stops, through the bustle of our home, to wrap his arms around me and let me bury my face in his chest.
We argue, annoy the crap out of each other and forget things that are important to the each other. But we chose love above all else. We chose to bind our hearts together with God as the glue.
We walk out the front doors of the church, and the cold air hits us like needles. We climb inside the magnificent limousine and the driver shuts the door. I look at my husband.
It's over. Man, that went fast, I think to myself.
I adjust my dress. He grabs my hand. We kiss.
The driver starts the engine.
And then, the journey begins.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
It's nothing like the mundane
Wow. I really intended to blog at least once or twice over the last week but somehow it never happened. We've been super busy around here with Christmas and just regular old life that a week went by in the blink of an eye.
Here's a synopsis of our last 11 days:
On the Thursday before Christmas I found out that I have gestational diabetes. NOT what I wanted for Christmas AT ALL. I go the 1st week in January to the diabetes center. The good news is that after more blood work, it looks like it will be manageable by just watching my diet.
On Friday I took Aaron to the dentist for a weird spot on his gums. Turns out, one of his front teeth is abscessed and it's coming out also in the 1st week of January.
My Mother-in-law was in town for a week and the kids and Luke and I enjoyed her company.
I've been going to the most awesome chiropractor two times a week because I was on the verge of not being able to walk. It was awful. Apparently my pelvis hates me. After twice a week adjustments, we're back on speaking terms.
Yesterday Luke and I celebrated our 9th's Anniversary. If you consider "celebrated" putting the 3 little kids to bed, letting the 3 big kids stay at my parents' house and us playing stupid, addicting games on our iPods. The secret to our marriage is spontaneity or the lack there of. We're going out tomorrow night to celebrate the diabetic way. Whatever that means. I think it means no Cold Stone Ice cream which sounds like misery. I'm sure my fabulous man will come up with a good idea of where to eat that doesn't include lots of pasta, since our Go-To place is italian and clearly Italians aren't diabetic because, oh my word the pasta.
I love pasta.
Ahem.
Little Baby Girl is approximately 10 weeks away from making her appearance. I use the word "approximate" loosely. VERY LOOSELY. If she comes before April, I'll be impressed. I'm due March 10th. I was due with Ella on March 8th and they (finally) induced me on March 23rd.
See? I'm not getting my hopes up that she'll come on time or even early, though that would be awesome.
We have a name we like a whole lot but for some reason I keep looking at names. I'm pretty sure this is the most indecisive I've ever been about picking a name.
So that about sums up our last 1.5 weeks. Nothing like the mundane, right? I mean it, it's nothing like mundane.
Here's a synopsis of our last 11 days:
On the Thursday before Christmas I found out that I have gestational diabetes. NOT what I wanted for Christmas AT ALL. I go the 1st week in January to the diabetes center. The good news is that after more blood work, it looks like it will be manageable by just watching my diet.
On Friday I took Aaron to the dentist for a weird spot on his gums. Turns out, one of his front teeth is abscessed and it's coming out also in the 1st week of January.
My Mother-in-law was in town for a week and the kids and Luke and I enjoyed her company.
I've been going to the most awesome chiropractor two times a week because I was on the verge of not being able to walk. It was awful. Apparently my pelvis hates me. After twice a week adjustments, we're back on speaking terms.
Yesterday Luke and I celebrated our 9th's Anniversary. If you consider "celebrated" putting the 3 little kids to bed, letting the 3 big kids stay at my parents' house and us playing stupid, addicting games on our iPods. The secret to our marriage is spontaneity or the lack there of. We're going out tomorrow night to celebrate the diabetic way. Whatever that means. I think it means no Cold Stone Ice cream which sounds like misery. I'm sure my fabulous man will come up with a good idea of where to eat that doesn't include lots of pasta, since our Go-To place is italian and clearly Italians aren't diabetic because, oh my word the pasta.
I love pasta.
Ahem.
Little Baby Girl is approximately 10 weeks away from making her appearance. I use the word "approximate" loosely. VERY LOOSELY. If she comes before April, I'll be impressed. I'm due March 10th. I was due with Ella on March 8th and they (finally) induced me on March 23rd.
See? I'm not getting my hopes up that she'll come on time or even early, though that would be awesome.
We have a name we like a whole lot but for some reason I keep looking at names. I'm pretty sure this is the most indecisive I've ever been about picking a name.
So that about sums up our last 1.5 weeks. Nothing like the mundane, right? I mean it, it's nothing like mundane.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
A Sunday link up
Lucas is running a fever this morning. So while Luke is at church with the other kids and Lucas is laying in the bed watching cartoons, I thought I'd link you guys to some great posts I've read over the last week or so.
1st up, Missy at It's Almost Naptime reposted her blog In a Stable. It's good y'all. Go check it out. You won't be sorry.
Amy at Building the Blocks posted last night about having no more room at their children't home in Guatemala. It's heartbreaking that they'd have to begin turing children away. Please read her post and see how God is moving you to act.
Finally, the Livesay Haiti Weblog's post about how to Let Go of our stuff and move forward with the life that God has called us to live sat with me for days.
Hope y'all have a great Sunday!
1st up, Missy at It's Almost Naptime reposted her blog In a Stable. It's good y'all. Go check it out. You won't be sorry.
Amy at Building the Blocks posted last night about having no more room at their children't home in Guatemala. It's heartbreaking that they'd have to begin turing children away. Please read her post and see how God is moving you to act.
Finally, the Livesay Haiti Weblog's post about how to Let Go of our stuff and move forward with the life that God has called us to live sat with me for days.
Hope y'all have a great Sunday!
Friday, December 16, 2011
December Newsletter
Our December Ministry Newsletter is out! Below is a modified version of what we recently sent to inboxes all over the globe.
Hope you enjoy!
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“Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn’t .... Worship, therefore, is the fuel and goal of missions. It’s the goal of missions because in missions we simply aim to bring the nations into the white-hot enjoyment of God’s glory.” - John Piper, Let the Nations Be Glad, p. 35
It’s a season of worship in our society. During the month of December, service, love and charity is often dubbed as having the “Christmas Spirit.” And yet, many of us would agree, that as the spirit of Christmas washes over us and those around us we really wish the joy, hope and peace of the season would ring true all year long and not just for 25 days a year.
It’s a spirit of worship, a spirit of thankfulness and reverence for the birth of Christ that bids our hearts to spread the love and joy we know in our Savior.
As I (Jessica) read through the Introduction and first part of Chapter 1 of Let the Nations Be Glad by John Piper, his statements (quoted above) about worship sat with me, uncomfortably.
Does missions really exist because worship does not? Should our love for missions be fueled by our love for worshipping the One True God? Or should it be fueled by obedience, service and sacrifice?
And then, as December so quickly rushed upon us, it made perfect sense. Why am I so eager to practice love and charity this time of year? Why are we so eager to spread joy?
Because this truly is the best time of year! It’s the celebration of the birth of our Risen Lord. It’s the hope that was birthed into a hopeless world over 2,000 years ago. It’s the worship of the One who came, died and rose for all people in every nation on earth.
Worship is denying the desires of the flesh because of your love for the King. Worship is speaking softly to those you love when you desperately want to scream. Worship is purposeful prayer over those the Lord has brought to your mind and laid on your heart. Worship is sending, going and telling because of the joy of the Lord that you know is true in your own life.
“[Missions] is a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.”
We pray that this Holiday season finds you in fervent worship of Jesus Christ, as you celebrate His birth. We also pray that we all continue to worship after the gifts are unwrapped, the trees are taken down and the New Year rolls around.
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So what’s new with the Beavers?
We found out in October that Beaver Baby #7 is a GIRL! We are so excited and we all continue to eagerly anticipate her arrival in March of 2012. We ask for your prayers for a continued smooth pregnancy and delivery.
We are continuing to meet with families and small groups to discuss our calling and our assignment. God is proving to be faithful in providing prayer and financial partners!
Currently, we are at 11.5% of our monthly support goal and at approximately 22% of our outgoing support goal!
We have added several new prayer and financial partners in the last few months. What a praise and answer to our specific prayers.
After much prayer, discussion and exchanging of emails with Africa Inland Mission, we have elected to postpone our departure date to January of 2013. This will give us an additional 9 months after the baby is born to get documents in order, items sold and loose ends tied up. It feels much less stressful than the original departure of July 2012.
Please continue to pray that we budget our time and resources to complete Outbound Training Requirements, Bible Requirements and Document Preparation over the next year. These tasks, along with normal, everyday life, can get overwhelming.
Please pray that we can aquire additional prayer and financial partners to reach our prayer and financial goals.
Please pray that God will continue to prepare the hearts of the people of Southern Kenya and our assignment location. Also pray for the leaders and citizens of Kenya as they face an ongoing war on terrorism.
If you are considering partnering with us in prayer and/or financial support, please email us at: beaverbunch (at) gmail dot com for further instructions or you can click here to be directed to Africa Inland Missions' online giving page.
We are so blessed by our prayer and financial partners and we desire to know how we can specifically pray for each of you as well.
We pray that you have a season of love, joy, peace and worship as you prepare your hearts for the celebration of the arrival of the King of Kings!
Merry Christmas!
Luke, Jessica, Elizabeth, Lucas, Ashlee, Aaron, Olivia & Ella Beaver
Hope you enjoy!
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“Missions is not the ultimate goal of the church. Worship is. Missions exists because worship doesn’t .... Worship, therefore, is the fuel and goal of missions. It’s the goal of missions because in missions we simply aim to bring the nations into the white-hot enjoyment of God’s glory.” - John Piper, Let the Nations Be Glad, p. 35
It’s a season of worship in our society. During the month of December, service, love and charity is often dubbed as having the “Christmas Spirit.” And yet, many of us would agree, that as the spirit of Christmas washes over us and those around us we really wish the joy, hope and peace of the season would ring true all year long and not just for 25 days a year.
It’s a spirit of worship, a spirit of thankfulness and reverence for the birth of Christ that bids our hearts to spread the love and joy we know in our Savior.
As I (Jessica) read through the Introduction and first part of Chapter 1 of Let the Nations Be Glad by John Piper, his statements (quoted above) about worship sat with me, uncomfortably.
Does missions really exist because worship does not? Should our love for missions be fueled by our love for worshipping the One True God? Or should it be fueled by obedience, service and sacrifice?
And then, as December so quickly rushed upon us, it made perfect sense. Why am I so eager to practice love and charity this time of year? Why are we so eager to spread joy?
Because this truly is the best time of year! It’s the celebration of the birth of our Risen Lord. It’s the hope that was birthed into a hopeless world over 2,000 years ago. It’s the worship of the One who came, died and rose for all people in every nation on earth.
Worship is denying the desires of the flesh because of your love for the King. Worship is speaking softly to those you love when you desperately want to scream. Worship is purposeful prayer over those the Lord has brought to your mind and laid on your heart. Worship is sending, going and telling because of the joy of the Lord that you know is true in your own life.
“[Missions] is a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.”
We pray that this Holiday season finds you in fervent worship of Jesus Christ, as you celebrate His birth. We also pray that we all continue to worship after the gifts are unwrapped, the trees are taken down and the New Year rolls around.
--------
So what’s new with the Beavers?
We found out in October that Beaver Baby #7 is a GIRL! We are so excited and we all continue to eagerly anticipate her arrival in March of 2012. We ask for your prayers for a continued smooth pregnancy and delivery.
We are continuing to meet with families and small groups to discuss our calling and our assignment. God is proving to be faithful in providing prayer and financial partners!
Currently, we are at 11.5% of our monthly support goal and at approximately 22% of our outgoing support goal!
We have added several new prayer and financial partners in the last few months. What a praise and answer to our specific prayers.
After much prayer, discussion and exchanging of emails with Africa Inland Mission, we have elected to postpone our departure date to January of 2013. This will give us an additional 9 months after the baby is born to get documents in order, items sold and loose ends tied up. It feels much less stressful than the original departure of July 2012.
Please continue to pray that we budget our time and resources to complete Outbound Training Requirements, Bible Requirements and Document Preparation over the next year. These tasks, along with normal, everyday life, can get overwhelming.
Please pray that we can aquire additional prayer and financial partners to reach our prayer and financial goals.
Please pray that God will continue to prepare the hearts of the people of Southern Kenya and our assignment location. Also pray for the leaders and citizens of Kenya as they face an ongoing war on terrorism.
If you are considering partnering with us in prayer and/or financial support, please email us at: beaverbunch (at) gmail dot com for further instructions or you can click here to be directed to Africa Inland Missions' online giving page.
We are so blessed by our prayer and financial partners and we desire to know how we can specifically pray for each of you as well.
We pray that you have a season of love, joy, peace and worship as you prepare your hearts for the celebration of the arrival of the King of Kings!
Merry Christmas!
Luke, Jessica, Elizabeth, Lucas, Ashlee, Aaron, Olivia & Ella Beaver
Monday, December 12, 2011
Memorial Box Monday: Trusting in God's Promises
Last week, I participated in A Place Called Simplicity's Memorial Box Monday. Over the last week, I've reflected a lot on the provision of the Lord. Yet still, I am yearning to hear His voice as I have so often in the past.
Right now, I'd say I'm in the midst of a season of fear. I'm afraid we'll never get to Africa. I'm afraid we will get Africa and it be a total disaster.
So, as Luke and I prayed earlier this week, God gently reminded me that He is always faithful. He reminded me to rest in His promises and reflect on them often.
I began thinking about previous promises the Lord had given me. In February of 2009 I began journaling on a private, invitation only blog to chronicle our calling to the mission field. We hadn't made our calling public yet (Olivia wasn't even adopted yet!) so I only invited a very limited number of people to read - less than 10.
Today, as I desperately desired to remember the promises God has previously fulfilled, I knew that I needed to look no further than the archives of that private blog. The post below was originally posted to my private blog on March 2, 2009.
(I find it more than a LITTLE funny that exactly 1 year after that post we were moving into our rental that I referenced in my last Memorial Box Monday post. Oh how God is faithful!)
I know how important it is to remind myself of God's unfailing promises. As we sit now, anticipating Baby #7's arrival and our future in Africa looking impossible by human standards, I know that the Lord's promises from 2008 are not voided. His promises from over 2,000 years ago are not voided. We serve an unchanging God. And today, I delight in His faithfulness.
It was August 10th, 2008 but I remember it like it was yesterday. Aaron was 2 months old and we were still having many sleepless nights and adjusting to life with a new baby. I was still telling Luke that we had to take Aaron to big church because the nursery was too germy. As I sat in service, holding my baby boy, I listened as best I could to the sermon. Our pastor was preaching a series out of Nehemiah.
Nehemiah had been summoned to build the wall and had many people rebuke him. Everything in the book of Nehemiah screamed to Luke and I that we were doing the right thing by obediently fostering. Although we had many critics, He had called us to this task and He was providing. I was listening intently to Pastor Michael, because I knew God was speaking to us, through him.
Then it happened, something that still baffles me, something that I'd not experienced, ever. God began a conversation with me. It went something like this:
God: "I'm glad that you see that this sermon is for you. You are doing the right thing, you know?"
Me: "Yes, I know Father. Thank you for the confirmation."
God: "Did you really think this was it though? Did you think that it was JUST about fostering?"
Me: "Huh? What do you mean?"
God: "This is not the end. After you adopt him [Aaron] I have something else for your family. Something big."
Me: "What? Uh, okay."
God: "Missions. You know it's been there this whole time. Once he's adopted, the bigger task will come."
Me: "Wait! Did you just say we would adopt him?" (Yes, I know I missed the point.) "Seriously? Why are you telling me this? Why now?"
God: "You will adopt him because I needed him. He will help fulfill my purpose for your family, when you go to your next mission."
Me: (Angry) "Why him? Why not our birth children? Don't they matter too?"
God: "Settle down. Of course they matter. They matter most because it is through them that I will harvest his heart so that he may do great works for Me. Listen to his story Jessica, it screams my name."
Me: (Picturing Elizabeth and Ashlee loving on him and Lucas showing him what it means to be a brother...then TEARS.) "Okay God. Here I am."
Can I tell you that just saying that outloud is freaky? Seriously. I've known people who live in padded rooms that have more rational thoughts. However, there it is.
I hid this promise in my heart, not even telling Luke until a few months later. I was so scared to admit it. So scared that I might be wrong. So scared that all of it would not come to fruition, then where would my faith be? How do you explain that you "Heard from God" but you got it all wrong. Even still, what if Aaron doesn't do great things for God? Where does that leave me?
I hid this promise in my heart, not even telling Luke until a few months later. I was so scared to admit it. So scared that I might be wrong. So scared that all of it would not come to fruition, then where would my faith be? How do you explain that you "Heard from God" but you got it all wrong. Even still, what if Aaron doesn't do great things for God? Where does that leave me?
God promised that we would adopt Aaron. After many court dates, tears and heart wrenching encounters with birth parents, and almost 12 months to the day from that promise, Aaron was legally adopted into our family.
God called us to listen and obey and become foster parents. Then He gave us insight to our next phase in life, nearly 2 years before our calling was made public. So God, here we are. We have not forgotten the promise. We know the assignment. But God, I'm still so fearful of the unknown. Help me Lord, help me not be afraid.
Help me to cling to your promises even in the uncertainties of life. I know you are faithful Father. Help me to not only rest in your promises but to walk in them with confidence.
God called us to listen and obey and become foster parents. Then He gave us insight to our next phase in life, nearly 2 years before our calling was made public. So God, here we are. We have not forgotten the promise. We know the assignment. But God, I'm still so fearful of the unknown. Help me Lord, help me not be afraid.
Help me to cling to your promises even in the uncertainties of life. I know you are faithful Father. Help me to not only rest in your promises but to walk in them with confidence.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Das Not Funny! Friday: We take our freak show on the road
Remember about 2 months ago when Luke went to Guinea-Bissau, West Africa and the kids and I went out of town?
Yeah.
Well, during that trip the kids said so many funny things. My friend Grace was my sanity (read: traveling companion for over 1,400+ miles) wrote them down and emailed them to me, you know, the week after we got back. And since I'm nothing if not efficient, I was too lazy to COPY AND PASTE them from her email into a blog.
So, without any further ado (or more weeks of procrastination) I present to you, copy and pasted hilarity.
Try to contain your excitement. And remember, these are from Grace's point of view. Added hilarity, if you ask me. I can vouch for her accuracy and authenticity.
1. While we were on the way to Tennessee, all the kids fell asleep in the car. Lucas woke up for the last TWO HOURS of the drive, and decided he needed to talk until we arrived. But usually, he only had 2 things to ask. Every. Time. The song changed- "Mom, is this song about Jesus?" and everytime the car sped up/ slowed down/ switched lanes/ got passed/ passed someone- "Mom, are you speeding?"
2. Lucas again, talking to Grandpa Beaver: "Grandpa Beaver, what's your favorite kind of car?"
Grandpa replied, "Well, I don't know.. I guess I really like.."
"MINE IS A MOVING VAN." Goodtoknow Lucas.
3. While at Monkey Joe's burning off some energy, Olivia felt like she needed to have an in depth conversation with me. She just kept jabbering and pointing, and I assumed she was talking about the bounce house. I looked around a lady who was standing between us and saud bounce house and said, "Hey Liv, how about you go show me how fast you can go down that bouncy slide?" She giggled and turned around and skipped/ran/danced in the direction of the bounce house. On her way past the stranger standing between us and said bouncey slide, Olivia screamed, "BOOTY, BOOTY!" and spanked the woman. The woman was, understandably, horrified. I promptly pointed her in the direction of the child's mother. You're welcome.
4. One morning at breakfast, Aaron asked me for a napkin that were in the middle of the table, just out of his reach. When I stood up to hand one to him, he exclaimed, "WOW Grace! You are very tall!" Yes, Aaron. Yes I am. [You should probably know that Grace is the shortest person I've ever met. You know, besides my children.]
5. While in the car, we rotated through the kids and let them pick the songs we listened to. Aaron ALWAYS wants to listen to "You are my Joy." Even when it's not his turn. Even if we just listened to it for the 80 billionth time. Even if there world ended right now and Jesus came back, and pretty sure Aaron would request "You are my Joy" as the rapture's soundtrack. After asking to hear it AGAIN.. You replied, "Nope. I don't like that song!" Aaron said, "But why? It's my pay-brit! You just gotta try it, mom!"
6. One afternoon, while getting Aaron and Olivia ready for nap, I was running from one bathroom to the other, waiting for both of them to poop before they went to lay down. When I came into the bathroom Aaron was in, he let one rip- big time. I said, "Whoa, Buddy! Are you all done?" He replied, "Nope. That was just my snake sound, Grace! Here it comes again...." I left him alone with his snake sound, and went to check on Liv. I asked her if she was all done, and she held up her toy princess, looked under its dress and exclaimed, "Princess dress not pooped in her diaper! Yayyyy!" Good job, plastic princess. I guess this means you're a big girl now!
Yeah.
Well, during that trip the kids said so many funny things. My friend Grace was my sanity (read: traveling companion for over 1,400+ miles) wrote them down and emailed them to me, you know, the week after we got back. And since I'm nothing if not efficient, I was too lazy to COPY AND PASTE them from her email into a blog.
So, without any further ado (or more weeks of procrastination) I present to you, copy and pasted hilarity.
Try to contain your excitement. And remember, these are from Grace's point of view. Added hilarity, if you ask me. I can vouch for her accuracy and authenticity.
1. While we were on the way to Tennessee, all the kids fell asleep in the car. Lucas woke up for the last TWO HOURS of the drive, and decided he needed to talk until we arrived. But usually, he only had 2 things to ask. Every. Time. The song changed- "Mom, is this song about Jesus?" and everytime the car sped up/ slowed down/ switched lanes/ got passed/ passed someone- "Mom, are you speeding?"
2. Lucas again, talking to Grandpa Beaver: "Grandpa Beaver, what's your favorite kind of car?"
Grandpa replied, "Well, I don't know.. I guess I really like.."
"MINE IS A MOVING VAN." Goodtoknow Lucas.
3. While at Monkey Joe's burning off some energy, Olivia felt like she needed to have an in depth conversation with me. She just kept jabbering and pointing, and I assumed she was talking about the bounce house. I looked around a lady who was standing between us and saud bounce house and said, "Hey Liv, how about you go show me how fast you can go down that bouncy slide?" She giggled and turned around and skipped/ran/danced in the direction of the bounce house. On her way past the stranger standing between us and said bouncey slide, Olivia screamed, "BOOTY, BOOTY!" and spanked the woman. The woman was, understandably, horrified. I promptly pointed her in the direction of the child's mother. You're welcome.
4. One morning at breakfast, Aaron asked me for a napkin that were in the middle of the table, just out of his reach. When I stood up to hand one to him, he exclaimed, "WOW Grace! You are very tall!" Yes, Aaron. Yes I am. [You should probably know that Grace is the shortest person I've ever met. You know, besides my children.]
5. While in the car, we rotated through the kids and let them pick the songs we listened to. Aaron ALWAYS wants to listen to "You are my Joy." Even when it's not his turn. Even if we just listened to it for the 80 billionth time. Even if there world ended right now and Jesus came back, and pretty sure Aaron would request "You are my Joy" as the rapture's soundtrack. After asking to hear it AGAIN.. You replied, "Nope. I don't like that song!" Aaron said, "But why? It's my pay-brit! You just gotta try it, mom!"
6. One afternoon, while getting Aaron and Olivia ready for nap, I was running from one bathroom to the other, waiting for both of them to poop before they went to lay down. When I came into the bathroom Aaron was in, he let one rip- big time. I said, "Whoa, Buddy! Are you all done?" He replied, "Nope. That was just my snake sound, Grace! Here it comes again...." I left him alone with his snake sound, and went to check on Liv. I asked her if she was all done, and she held up her toy princess, looked under its dress and exclaimed, "Princess dress not pooped in her diaper! Yayyyy!" Good job, plastic princess. I guess this means you're a big girl now!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Memorial Box Monday: $25
I desperately want to write more often. I really do. But lately, it seems that God has answered my prayers to make me more focused, more intentional about my time with and without my children. We've been so busy around here organizing, moving furniture around, getting rid of things we don't use and having more structured homeschooling days, that blogging has fallen to the wayside.
And that's okay. It's okay that a silly little blog takes up less of my time than does my home and my children and my husband.
But honestly? I miss writing. Even though I may not be the best writer in the world, it's releasing for me. It's therapy, honestly. And when I don't have time (or make time) it all swims around in my head, often clogging up my thoughts.
I still read plenty of blogs (even though that has had to be trimmed down too) and one of my favorites to read is A Place Called Simplicity.
This family is super crazy about the Lord and about children. But if I'm being very honest, I will say that often I read what Linny writes, then walk away dumbfounded as to why I haven't heard from the Lord like that lately.
The Lord gently continues to remind me that I will more clearly hear from Him when I choose to invest time in my relationship with Him through prayer, Bible study and meditating on His word. And while I'm being honest, all 3 of those areas of my life have not been stellar lately. Relationships take work. One with the Lord is no different.
Over the course of the last few weeks, one of the things I have prayed is that the Lord would remind me exactly how I have seen him work in our lives previously. Remembering those things often triggers me to spend more time with Him, seeking His heart and direction.
He is always faithful, I'm the one who forgets.
So when Linny posted that she was doing a Memorial Box Monday post, I knew I had to join in, even if it is just this once. If you'd like to know what a Memorial Box Monday post is, you can read Linny's post with a good explination by clicking here.
Basically, a Memorial Box is like in the Old Testament when the Israelites would set up a stone memorial for when God has faithfully provided for them. Then, as they passed that pillar again and again, they would remember God's faithfulness and tell their children and their children's children.
Today, I want to remember God's faithfulness, even in the details.
-------
Over 2 years ago, in August of 2009, Luke and I put our house on the market. It was the house of my dreams really. I was about 9 weeks pregnant at the time and we had felt God stirring our hearts toward missions for quite some time. We knew we needed to be out from under the debt of that house and ready for whatever God called us to do next.
I was scared. Here we were, contemplating missions, having our 6th child and listing our house for sale. It was a LOT. But, because we'd seen God be faithful in the past, we knew He'd be faithful again, even in this.
About 2 months after listing our house, we had an offer. It was contingent, but an offer none-the-less. Over the course of Christmas and into the New Year of 2010 our house remained under contract with a contingent offer. As my waistline continued to expand, my patience weakened.
Finally, about a month before my due date our realtor called and said that the people buying our house had sold their house. We settled on a closing date of March 3, a mere 5 days before my due date with Ella.
Here's where the Memorial Box comes in (as if selling a house in the 1st plummet of the housing market wasn't enough).
Since Ella was due March 8th, Luke and I decided it would be wise to find a rental and move by March 1st. I was SO SURE that Ella would come early since, you know, I'D CARRIED TWINS. Heh. That's funny now. (She wasn't born until March 23rd, nearly 2.5 weeks after her due date and I was STILL induced.)
Ahem. Anyway, the 1st way that God provided was that we found a rental only TWO STREETS over from our old house, the rent was the cheapest of any we could find. We had amazing friends who jumped in and helped us move. It was beyond what I'd call a blessing.
It had FOUR BEDROOMS and we could move in at our leisure and just let the landlords know when we spent our 1st night and our rent would begin that day.
The drawbacks to this place were that it had neither a stove or a refrigerator. We sold the ones we had with our previous house and so we were not only stove-less but refrigerator-less.
We were moving in before the closing on our old house which meant we had very little cash to go purchase either of those things since we don't do credit cards. Once the house sold, we'd be fine, until then, we really didn't want to drop $500 on them.
After all, what if we never even closed on our old house and had to move all our stuff back?
In passing, a friend casually mentioned that where her Dad works they sell used refrigerators for $25.
TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS.
Uh. Sign me up.
I called her Dad and asked about a fridge. He had one. On a whim I also asked, "Do you by chance have a stove too?"
He did. FOR TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS.
Incredible and only the Lord.
Right now I'm struggling to remember the faithfulness of God. I'm struggling to see how we're going to have a baby, raise support and still get to Africa sometime before the turn of the century. But God is always faithful. And I just need to keep remembering that He's never left us high and dry. He's never left us without perfectly providing exactly what we've needed.
He's never not shown up. Ever.
And I trust that He'll do it again and again and again.
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