Das Not Funny! Friday: Orphaned Ninjas

After my previous post, y'all are going to think I'm bipolar by following it with today. But geesh, somebody's got to lighten the mood around here, right?

So, here's a long overdue, Das Not Funny! Friday! Not sure what Das Not Funny! Friday is? Click here to find out.

These are from the last several months. Good thing funny stuff doesn't go bad.

I'm sure y'all have noticed that I've not exactly been completely emotionally normal lately. A while back I had been especially short tempered with the kids, yelled at them, said some things that wasn't patient or kind or edifying to a loving environment in our home.

I sat the older four kids down at the table to read to them and before I started, I took a deep breath, began to cry and apologized to them.

"Guys, I'm really sorry. I haven't been kind or gentle or patient with all of you lately. Mommy needs to do better. I'm really, really sorry."

With a sad look on her face, Ashlee climbs into my lap, snuggles up to me, pats me gently and says, "It's okay Mommy. Daddy needs some work too."

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Often, when the kids are picking on me Luke will tease with them and tell them to "stop messing with his wife!"

Luke and I were in the kitchen hugging and kissing. Aaron comes into the room, stops in his tracks and says, "Hey! Stop kissing my wife!"

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Ashlee is smitten with Abigail. Actually, babies in general. It's not uncommon for Abigail to spend most of her time on Ashlee's hip, wrestling on the floor with Ashlee, kissed by Ashlee, tickled by Ashlee, hugged by Ashlee..... you get the idea. So when Luke offered for Ashlee to give Abigail a bottle while I was at Bible study on Monday night, Ashlee was over the moon happy.

A little while later, I got this text from Luke:

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Me: "Ella, please don't play with those, okay?"

Ella: "But Mommy, my tummies are hurtin'!"

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Our boys are into anything Ninja/Star Wars/Karate/Army. Basically, your typical boy stuff. Lately, Lucas and Aaron both walk around singing theme songs to the shows they like to watch. Aaron's especially make me giggle.

Aaron: "Teenage Ninja Ninja Turtles. Ninjas in a half shell. Turtle Tower!"

But my favorite is,

"Go, go, go, go, go, go Power Rangers! Mighty, mighty orphan Power Rangers!"

Those poor, orphaned Ninjas. ;)

Y'all have a great weekend.

A Modern day Fairytale An Everyday True Story

One upon a time a mother had a little boy. And though she didn't grow him in her womb, she knew that he was hers from the moment she laid eyes upon him.

He was the most dashing little fellow. Handsome is so many ways, with soft, creamy skin and the blondest hair imaginable.

He had bright blue eyes and a giggle that could bring joy the hardest of hearts. Truly he made his mother's heart grow with love each and every day.

Much to his mother's dismay, he tried to give her daily heart attacks by leaping from heights more daring than a two year old should attempt. Yet almost every time, he landed firmly on his feet and chuckled to himself with a proud smile spreading across his face.

He was stubborn and willful and tested all of his mother's patience each and every day.

But his mother prayed fervently that the Lord would use his willful spirit and strong determination for the glory of God (and also that her own spirit would make it until her beloved son grew out of his irrational season - whenever that may be).

Truly his mother knew that the Lord had created her son for a very specific purpose in mind. She knew God created this treasure to bring glory to the name of the Father and that their lives were blessed because God chose their family for him.

You see, she knew from the time her son was a small baby that God had big plans for him. Plans that she didn't quite understand. But she clung to the promises that God has so clearly revealed to her, knowing that no great blessings come without their fair share of growing pains.

Every day God reminded this mother that her son was a blessing, even on the days that seemed more stressful than the last.

Because she knew that at the end of the day her sweet boy would wrap his skinny arms around her neck, hug her tight, kiss her lips and go to bed.

And every night as she clicked his bedroom door shut behind her, with her sweet boy resting comfortably in his bed, there would FINALLY be a moment where he would STOP TALKING LONG ENOUGH TO GO TO SLEEP.

Because as much as she loved her sweet boy's company, she longed for his mouth to STOP RUNNING FOR ONE SOLITARY SECOND SO THAT SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO KNOW HIS EVERY THOUGHT EVERY WAKING MOMENT OF THE DAY.

And they lived happily ever after.

The end.

Das Not Funny! Friday: Itty Bitty Boobies Geese and Some Pics

During naptime this week, I'm finishing up my Bible Study time when my bedroom door creeps open. Elizabeth peers in and I invite her to sit beside me while I finish up. I'm wearing a tank top, and she sees that as open invitation to inspect my bra.

"Mom, I reeeeallly need to borrow one of your bras," she states.

"You do?" I respond with a smirk.

"Yep. I need one so I can cover up my itty bitty boobies."

She must have snooped through my jewelry box and discovered that I am a card bearing, lifetime member of the "Itty Bitty Titty Club" and realized her destiny.

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Yesterday, we went to the zoo. Naturally, and thanks to Tarzan, the gorillas were the highlight of my children's visit. At one point, the male gorilla climbed to the top of a tree-like structure then turned his "behind" to us. Only moments later, he stuck his booty out in our direction. With that, Elizabeth spun on her heel, looked me square in the face and said,

"Mom. Uh, I think he needs you to wipe him."

I think not.

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As we ate lunch, on our way out of the zoo, we stopped at a picnic area and tried to eat in peace. A gaggle of geese thought that we needed some obtrusive company. We managed to finish our lunch without being assaulted by our new feathered friends. On the way home from the zoo, all 3 big kids fell asleep. They must have been sleeping HARD, because when we arrived home and I began unloading Lucas and he snapped to consciousness and asked, very groggily,

"Are we done feedin' da ducks? No! They ate all my wunch!"

To which Ashlee responds, "My wunch! Da geese! Noooooo!"

Note to self: Geese cause my kids to have nightmares. Good to know.

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This is Lucas at his gymnastics' Gold Medal Night, offering shuga to da ladies, as he accepts his medal, with honor. Click to enlarge, if you must.

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Finally, this photo is NOT staged. These two were in the bathtub, playing their little hearts out. Lucas had just gotten some of those plastic toy soldiers, thanks to my grandma, Maw. He took one into the tub with him and proceeded to hold the soldier's sword at Ashlee's throat. I know the picture quality stinks, but you SO get the idea. Remember that time she was a Drama Queen? Oh wait, that's NOW.


Alrighty peeps. Do you belong in the zoo? Did you see or hear something funny this week and try your best to conceal your laughter? If either of those are true, more so the latter rather than the former, then you should totally participate in this blogzpolooza known as Das Not Funny! Friday. All you have to do is write your won Das Not Funny! Friday post including all that funny stuff you saw this week.

Then, somewhere in it include a link right back here to my blog. You can do that easy schemeezy by copying and pasting the stuff in the box in this post. Also, by going back to this post you can read all the "official rules" (that aren't really that official at all). Or you can just grab the button up there on my right sidebar. Just copy and paste that text into the "Edit Html" tab where you'd normally compose your posts.

After you do that, come back here and type all your pertinent info into Mr. Linky so that my blog will be linked back to yours.

That's it! Seriously, I wanna hear your funny stuff, so make. me. laugh. people.

Das Not Funny! Friday

Welcome to Das Not Funny! Friday. Here's what has happened with our family this week that cracked my junk up:

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Our church is gearing up for a HUGE event for the unemployed people in our community. One of the things we are asked to bring is 2 boxes of food. Since Elizabeth went with me to get the items from the shopping list, she was SUPER excited to also help me pack the boxes. As I am sorting through them I hear her behind me going,

"Ugh...ugh....uuuuuuugggghhh"

I turn and find her bench pressing 2 cans of whole kernal corn. Apparently corn makes for strong biceps. Funny...I find that it always ends up on my thighs.

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Elizabeth got a bag of Peanut M&Ms while on the shopping trip that I previously mentioned. As we got closer to our house, this is the conversation that we had.

Me: "Elizabeth, we are almost home. If you don't want to share those M&Ms with Bubbie and Sissy, you'd better finish them now."

Elizabeth: (with a mouth full of M&Ms) "Okay Mom. But there's just so many! I'll put some back in the bag and hide them when I get home."

Me: "OR you could share them..."

Elizabeth: "Okay Mom, because I have Jesus in my heart I will share them. Man, I sure have been the best today. But not Lucas, he's been mean."

Apparently there's a daily behavior ranking system amongst our children that I am unaware of.

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Lucas has learned the manly art of peeing in the great outdoors, and it is now his favorite activity. However, he has not learned discretion with his newest skill. From the shade of our back patio, I look into the middle of the yard to see my son dropping trou.

I jump into action and try to convince him that showing the neighbors his "wenis" is "not nice." However, he's not so sure that they don't wanna know all his business. I casually lead him over to the deck and make modesty sound fun by enticing him with the option of urinating on the leg of the deck. With a giggle, he takes aim and drenches the post. Ashlee, who's curiosity is at an all time high, squats down beside Lucas' stream and says,

"Bubbie, you pee pee?........Das alotta a pee pee, Bub."

I see a tiny finger extend, threatening to touch the now freshly sprayed deck.

"NO!" I shreak. "We don't touch pee pee. Shoooweeee!"

"Oh," she says. "Bubbie's pee pee is yucky?"

"Yes," I confirm.

With that, she takes her ENTIRE hand, wipes the post of the deck, then looks at me and smiles.

"Now, my hand dis yucky too?"

Yes dear, it sure is.

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Now it's YOUR turn. What did you see or hear this week that was incredibly funny? I started this blogapolooza so that I could chronicle all of the funny things that my kids say during the week. However, you don't have to have funny kids, or even kids at all, to participate!

Simply write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post and somewhere in it, link back here, to my post. Then, go down and type all your info into Mr. Linky.

It's super easy! If you'd like all of the "official rules" you can click here or if you'd like an easy shmeezy way to link your blog to mine, simply copy the stuff in the box below and paste it into your "Edit Html" tab in the same place where you write your posts.

It’s finally Friday! How many times this week did you hear or see something and think… <i>“Das Not Funny!”</i> but then realize that it <i>actually was</i> pretty funny? Well, such is the purpose of this blogapolooza known as <i>Das Not Funny! </i>Friday.
Check out <a href="http://themakingofmom.blogspot.com"> this blog </a> to see what else is not funny. Plus, by going <a href="http://themakingofmom.blogspot.com">over here</a> you can see who else has seen or heard something and thought <i>Das Not Funny!</i> then stifled a giggle or even laughed out loud! Come on, you know you wanna…

You can also pick up the Das Not Funny! Friday button over on my right sidebar if you'd like, but you certainly don't have to.

Happy Friday, folks! Now please...make me laugh!

Mr. Linky
(Please only enter your info if you have already published a Das Not Funny! Friday post. Thanks!)

Das Not Funny! Friday - The Inaugural Post

Welcome to the inaugural post of Das Not Funny! Friday. I'm always sayin' I want to write down all the funny things my kids say (and do) during the week, aren't you? Well, now is our chance!

Why Das Not Funny!? Because, our kids are forever making us laugh, usually unintentionally. As we attempt to stifle our laughter, Ashlee (our Drama Queen) almost always looks at us, frowns and says Das not funny!

Oh my darling, bless your heart...it is so funny.

Won't you tell me the all the funny things you've heard or seen lately. It doesn't have to be just about your children (because not all of you have kids...or maybe your kids just aren't funny;-)).

You can check out the "official" rules by going to this post. But seriously, it's just not that complicated people. Simply write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post, then link it back here to my blog. You can either leave a comment in the comment section or type your info into Mr. Linky.

Of course, if you don't have a blog and you'd like to share your funnies, feel free to do so in the comment section.

Here we go! Happy Friday!

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On Wednesday night we were getting the big kids ready for bed when Lucas, out of nowhere, reached over and slapped Luke right across the face! Trying to prove a point, Luke slapped him back.

This went on for about 2 minutes. Finally, Lucas busted out into hysterical laughter and Luke's face began hurting. His point remains unproven.

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Apparently physical assault on my husband's head is becoming a favorite in our house. Why, just last night Luke was wrestling in the floor with all the kids and Elizabeth came at him like a spider monkey, punching him square in the jaw.

I'm enrolling them all in jujitsu next week. I'm thinking that will help, don't you?

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Yesterday, it was a beautiful day so we spent all day outside. I pulled Elizabeth's bike out of the storage shed, from behind the Christmas tree, where it had safely stored since last fall. She strapped up her helmet while I pushed her bike up the small hill in our backyard and onto the driveway.

We reviewed all biking procedures including how to pedal, turn and stop. Then, she was on her own. She began coasting down the slight slope of the driveway and she was so proud of herself.

Then, she began to pick up speed. In no time she was really flying, going full speed down the grassy "mountain" in our backyard. Her casual yells for help turn into death curling screams.

She's not stopping.

I throw off my flip flops and sprint after her (I use the term "sprint" loosely people), hoping to break her fall, or at least cushion it. I get to her just as she begins to tip, I grab her and think I'm in the clear, but her foot gets caught and we both fall and skid to a stop.

Naturally, she's wailing. I pick her up, brush the grass off both our knees and elbows and we begin the ascent up the hill. Elizabeth's still wailing, completely pitiful. However, she agrees to get back on the bike.

We strap back on her helmet and perch her back on the bicycle seat. I smile at her and say,

"I'm proud of you Elizabeth."

As serious as she can be, she looks up at me with big tears in her eyes and says, "But why? I fell down, remember?"

Yes, sweetie, I remember rolling through dog poop all in the name of motherhood.

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As I held Lucas this week before bedtime, I told him how he was about to be a big big boy and turn 3 years old soon. I asked him what kind of birthday party he wanted to have. With a big smirk on his face he looks at me and says,

"A princess party!"

Tonight, Luke is picking up the RAMBO series on his way home and it will be Lucas' night for special time.

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Okay...now it's your turn. Make me laugh people!

Mr. Linky is now closed. Thanks for playing!

Get Ready For...Das Not Funny! Friday

After this post, and all of your responses (both via the comments and in person/email), I thought to myself, "Self, that was fun." Plus, I'm always sayin' I want to write down all the funny things my kids say (and do) during the week. Which got me to thinking some more and led me to create something that I am so excited to share with you all! This Friday I will host my first ever...

Why Das Not Funny!? Because, our kids are forever making us laugh, usually unintentionally. As we attempt to stifle our laughter, Ashlee almost always looks at us, frowns and says Das not funny!

Oh my sweet Drama Queen, but it is...how funny it really is....

So, won't you join me? I'm giving you plenty of notice (for this week) and I'll even give you the rules in advance, so you can write down all those funny sayings that your kids (or whomever, because let's face it not all of us have kids and/or have funny kids 24/7) have said throughout the week that cracked you up. If you'd like an example of what I'm looking for, check out these posts.

So here you go...you know, the rules and all...

1) Write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post. If you don't have a blog, feel free to leave your funny moments right here, in the comment sections. Naturally, if you leave a comment, you can disregard #2 and #3.

2) In your post, mention Das Not Funny! Friday and link your blog back to mine. For a fool proof way to link to my blog, copy all of the HTML text in the box below and paste it into the "Edit Html" tab in your Compose Post mode.

If you'd like to use the button along with the text and links below (or even put it in your sidebar) you can copy the text in the box under the button (over there in my right sidebar) and paste it below the html below, once more in your "Edit Html" tab in your Compose Post mode. However, using the button is your choice. I only ask that you link back to me in some fashion.

It’s finally Friday! How many times this week did you hear or see something and think… <i>“Das Not Funny!”</i> but then realize that it <i>actually was</i> pretty funny? Well, such is the purpose of this blogapolooza known as <i>Das Not Funny! </i>Friday.
Check out <a href="http://themakingofmom.blogspot.com"> this blog </a> to see what else is not funny. Plus, by going <a href="http://themakingofmom.blogspot.com">over here</a> you can see who else has seen or heard something and thought <i>Das Not Funny!</i> then stifled a giggle or even laughed out loud! Come on, you know you wanna…

If you use the code in the above box, it will appear on your post as follows:

It’s finally Friday! How many times this week did you hear or see something and think… “Das Not Funny!” but then realize that it actually was pretty funny? Well, such is the purpose of this blogapolooza known as Das Not Funny! Friday.

Check out this blog to see what else is not funny. Plus, by going over here you can see who else has seen or heard something and thought Das Not Funny! then stifled a giggle or even laughed out loud! Come on, you know you wanna…

3) After you've written your post, come back and I'll have Mr. Linky set up (hopefully) and you can link to your own post right here, on my blog.

4) Go read other people's Das Not Funny! Friday posts (or comments) and laugh your face off!

So there you go. Start jotting down those funny things today so that on Friday you'll have whole post of comic relief for Das Not Funny! Friday.

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Finally, I gotta give mad props to Jen over at Jenieshell's Design Blog. She has amazing tutorials on her blog that helped me design my button and the text boxes with the HTML text inside. You rock, Jen!

Happy All Green Day!

About a week ago Elizabeth's preparations began. She and her PawPaw headed to Wal-mart to buy some flashing green rings. Sure, Paw Paw disgused his flashing green ring obsession with the premise of going for groceries, but Elizabeth and I know the truth. She also collected some other green things. All of this was in preparation for today, what Elizabeth calls, "All Green Day."

So, Happy "All Green Day" to you! I told Elizabeth that today was St. Patrick's Day, the day for her green stuff and she didn't seem phased. In fact, she's spent most of the day in her panties, which are not green. I've pinched her several times, but mostly just because she has such a cute booty.

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Last week, we went out to eat Japanese with my mom. Luke knows how to use chop sticks, I do not. Seeing Luke's talent, Elizabeth decided she wanted a try. Needless to say, she didn't quite get it. Luke offered her fork. She declined. My mom told her is was okay to use a fork if she was having a hard time. I even told her that I had no clue how to use chop sticks and that I had to use a fork. Finally, after showing her for the 4th time how to hold the chop sticks, Luke offered her a fork one more time. Apparently, that was the last straw. As clear as day, yet totally under her breath she says...

"Fork fork fork fork fork, everyone keeps giving me a fork. Take a fork Elizabeth. Have a fork Elizabeth. Try a fork. If I want a fork I'll get a fork, okay?"

Her hatred of American eating utensils is now a distant memory thanks to some minor therapy. I'm afraid the too-big-for-her-britches attitude is here to stay.

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After making muffins with the kids a while back, we were enjoying the fruits of our labor when I asked the kids,

"Hey! Who made these muffins?"

Lucas proudly announced, "God did!"

Gotta love it.

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Ashlee is pretty bossy. Actually, she's just a flat out copycat which means when I correct someone, she repeats me verbatim. After an especially long day where I had repeatedly told her that she was not allowed to boss her brother and sister around, I turned to her and asked,

"Ashlee, I've already told you that you're not a mommy yet. Who gets to tell others what to do?"

Ashlee replied, "God does."

She's right.

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Last week, I walked in on Elizabeth breastfeeding her baby Callie. If you don't know who Callie is, check out this post.

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For Christmas or Valentine's or some holiday, Luke's Aunt sent the kids a CD with a bunch of kids' song. We have learned several new songs including: Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, Zaccheaus, The B-I-B-L-E and a song called Praise Him! (which Elizabeth has alternately titled Everything That Has Breaf). This CD has become our theme music as we roll down the road in the Big Red Beast. I actually caught myself singing along the other day as I drove to the store, without the kids.

Recently we have started learning a new song, "Who Did Swallow Jonah?" The beginning goes a little something like....

Who did? Who did?
Who did? Who did?
Who did swallow, Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo...

Who did? Who did?
Who did? Who did?
Who did swallow, Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo...

Who did? Who did?
Who did? Who did?
Who did swallow, Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo...

Who did swallow Jonah down?

Well, being the musical genuises that my eldest children are, they LOVED this new song. After listening to it 4,924 times in a row I finally convinced them to listen to a few others, giving Jonah a break. Approximately 5 minutes later, I hear the following request from the back of the van...

"Pooted Mommy!"

"What?"

"Pooted!"

"Who pooted?"

"No. We wanna hear Pooted!"

"Excuse me?"

"Pooted swallow Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo!"

Crying and unable to drive, I turn it back to Pooted. (If you don't get it, sing the song above, outloud, in the loudest voice possible.)

Our only hope of having musically savvy kids lies with Baby D and Baby Girl.

I Have NO Idea Where They Get It...

I've been compiling this list of things my "big kids" have been doing over the last few months or so. Here's some of my favorite sayings or things that they've done.

Elizabeth:

She has a boy in her Classical class. His name is Spencer, but she calls him "Spitter."
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Her new thing is to say something totally random, followed by...."I'm just teasin'!"
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She really into helping change the babies' diapers....as long as they "isn't stank".
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Lately, I'll be doing something in another room, and she will come in and say, "Mommy....I love you!"
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The other day, we were driving in the car and it was one of those days that looks nice and warm but it is really bitterly cold out. Elizabeth says,

"Mom, I'm having a hard time seeing. It's really fergy out."

Later, Luke asked her what "fergy" meant and she said hot and then really cold. She is a genius.
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Elizabeth went with me to pick out our Halloween costumes. I told her as we were in Walmart, that I was going to be Hannah Montana. Later, I put her in her car seat and told her to buckle herself up and then I would tighten her straps. I go and put the shopping buggy away and climb into the drivers' seat. From the back I hear,

"Hey Hannah! You forgot to tighten me up back here!" Hysterical.
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After we went to Disney on Ice, we were saying our bedtime prayers and she thanked God for, "Mickey and Minnie and ALL their friends, only on the Disney Channel."

For the life of me I don't know where she got that. We watch TV all day, but surely she's not paying THAT much attention. We we hardly ever watch TV.
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She has the sweetest heart and I adore her. Brinkley (our dog) has a mystery skin irritation which caused her to chew and pull out a large "hot spot" on her hind quarters. When Elizabeth saw Brinkley's condition, she got teary eyed and asked Luke "Will she be okay? Will she come back from the doctor?"
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She bumped Ashlee's lip (or something that Ashlee flew off the handle about) with her head. As Luke questioned Elizabeth as to what happened, she explained:

"Well, you see Dad, it isn't my fault, it was my head's idea. My head had this idea to lean in real close and I just whopped her. It wasn't me, it was my head. He's the one in trouble."

I have no idea why her head is masculine, but it was all I could do to keep it together.


Lucas:

He has some brown shoes that look similar to some that Luke has. He calls them his "Daddy shoes."
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Speaking of shoes, Lucas LOVES shoes. He wears them all day long. If I can't find Lucas, I know he's most likely in his sisters' closet, trying on their shoes. I plan on humiliating him with that when he's about 16. I wonder if his future girlfriends will find that funny?
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Lucas is notorious for throwing his food on the floor when he eats. EVERY time he gets a spanking. Once, he threw his entire plate on the floor and I sat and spanked him until he picked it up. That was the longest lunch hour of my life.

One day, he accidentally knocked a bowl of goldfish on the floor, came over to me, tried to pull down his diaper (because I make him pull down his own pants when I spank him) and said,

"I sorry Mommy, I need a bankin?" He did not get a 'bankin.
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He is super into guns right now. I used to think I didn't know where he'd picked up on someone with a gun. Then I realized...Peter Pan. At any rate, I was a little apprehensive about him playing with toy guns. However, when he started using my basting brush as a gun, I figured why not bite the bullet (pun totally intended) and just get him one for Christmas? It is made of foam so when he hits his sisters (because against my constant reminding he clearly thinks this is permissible), it won't hurt quite as bad.
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He's already got selective man hearing. I will be telling him something of clear importance. Get totally finished, and he cocks his head to the side and says,

"What you say Mommy? 'Cuse me. What you say?"
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He's REAL big into "I love you" right now. He woke up excessively early one day last week, so I put him in the bed with me and turned on cartoons (don't you dare judge me). For the entire 2o minutes that Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was on, I got told once per minute...

Lucas: "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. Mommy! 'Cuuuuse me Mommy. Mommy? You sweepin'?"

Me: "Yes, Lucas?"

Lucas: "I wuv you Mommy."

Me: "Thank you Lucas."

Lucas: "You 'delcome."

Me: Take a deep breath, get just about asleep...

Lucas: "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy...."


Ashlee:

She's a lover. All the way a lover. She will stop DEAD in her tracks to give a requested kiss. She cannot keep her hands off the babies, which is sweet and sour.
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I got home one night and she was already in bed. I went into see her which prompted her to get out of the bed. When I told her to go back to bed, she obeys but then yells, from her bedroom (where the door is closed)
"Mommy! I got in the bed!"
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She's still in full potty training mode. For her, it works best if she is naked from the waist down. No matter where she's at she runs to me and says, "Mom, I gotta pee!" or, my personal favorite, "Hey! I gotta poop!" For more on her poops, click here.
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She doesn't know how to whisper, it's not part of her design. She only knows how to speak WITH THE VOLUME OF HER VOICE AUDIBLE FOR EVERYONE.
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She experiences life "full throttle." Seriously, we've quit getting onto to her for running in the house because we realized that she does not know how to walk....at all...not even a little. A slow skip is the best she can muster.
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She sleeps with this nasty bear that she got as a baby and she sucks on the ear. It's disgusting and it makes her breath something fierce in the mornings, but she LOVES him and he makes my life easier. Therefore, "bear bear" stays.


Yeah, click on that picture and take a good look at that bear's ear. Then think that this picture was taken almost a year ago. Yeah, totally gross.

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Just thought you all (*ahem*...Amanda) would enjoy this story, courtesy of my 3.5 yr old, Elizabeth. It's pretty good.

This past week, our lovely friend Paige came over to hang out with us. As Elizabeth and I are driving her home, we pass McDonald's. Elizabeth is in the backseat and Paige and I are in the front, trying to carry on some sort of conversation. Here's how it went:

Elizabeth: "Mommy, look! McDonald's!"

Me: "Yes, honey, I see."

Elizabeth: "I love McDonald's, Mom."

Me: "You do?" (I'm curious, b/c we rarely eat McDonald's.)

Elizabeth: "Yep, it's good. You don't like McDonald's do you Momma?"

Me: "Nope."

Elizabeth: "It makes you go poo-poo a lot, huh Momma?"

Me/Paige: Hysterical laughter and the inability to breathe

Kids say the darndest things...

Toddler Talk Revealed

All mothers have the ability to understand semi-clearly what their own toddler is saying. Although undecipherable to virtually everyone else, this jibberish makes complete sense to the mother of said toddler. Here are some of my favorites, from my own kids:

First, here are the ones that even a stranger could understand.
They include:

"NO! NO! NO!"
"PooPoo!"
"ByeBye"
"Mommy"
"Daddy"
"Thank You!"

Here are the ones that require true, parent insight:

"Croutch" - the pocket on the tummy of a Kangaroo, courtesy of my 3 1/2 year old
"Chuckie" - Cookie
"MoeMoe" - More
"Jush" - Juice
"Shoo" - Shoes
"NihNih" - Night Night
"BaabBaab" - Clap Clap
"Aaaasheee, Weawwdu?"- Ashlee, Where are you?, spoken by my son anytime his twin sister is out of his eyesight
"Bubbie do!" - Bubba did it! Spoken by my youngest daughter when she tattles on her brother
"Nnnnack!" - Snack
"Pish" - Fish, as in Goldfish snacks
"Beebees" - Baby
"Beebees" - Brinkley (our dog)
"BeeBees" - Bear Bear, my youngest daughter's "Lovey" a Blue Bear
"Bubbies" - Bubba, what my youngest daughter calls her twin brother

My all time favorite (to date) of mine is my youngest daughter, Ashlee, saying the name of each person in our family. I say them first and she repeats. It goes something like this:

Mommy: "Ashlee, say Mommy."
Ashlee: "MeeMee"
M: "Say Daddy."
A: "Daddy."
M: "Elizabeth."
A: "Buzzie" or "MeMe."
M: "MeMe"
A: "MeMe"
M: "PawPaw."
A: "PawPaw."
M: "Say, Lucas."
A: "Bubbie!"

Never, not once has she actually said "Lucas!"

If you have never been around a toddler or toddlers enough to be fortunate enough to decipher jibberish, I hope this gives you some insight. It is delightful, frustrating, hysterical, nerve-wracking and joyful all bundled into one. Lucky for us, we use sign language as well. Otherwise, the "BeeBees" could pose a serious threat!