I guess Luke figures that if I'm not going to blog, he will.
Below is a post he emailed me after a crazy morning yesterday. I sure do love this man of mine.
-------
We are asked many times how we raise, disciple, and shepherd many small children all at the same time. The true answer is: I feel like we fail about 99% of the time.
So………….. this morning everyone needs to be woken up so they can go to CBS (Community Bible Study). To fulfill the role as the leader of our home I want to encourage the kids and Jessica to go. One of the ways that plays out (in our home) is for me to get the kids started on getting ready to go to CBS.
Well this morning I woke up late (read – I stayed up to late watching meaningless baseball and talking to the TV). So the day is not starting well for this Type A person. I get ready and make it down stairs to work on breakfast. Ashlee and Lucas come down stairs and want toast for breakfast. While this may not seem like a big deal, this turns into making toast for about 15 minutes. As soon as you get one piece ready, they have already eaten the other piece and someone else has found (smelled) their way into the kitchen and now wants a piece. So my first instinct is to not let them have toast. You see, breakfast is normally to throw a bowl of cereal in front of everyone while we comb hair and put shoes on.
Rather than get upset and frustrated (like I wanted to) God gave me the patience to talk to my children. I said to Lucas and Ashlee, “I want to make you toast, but I am going to need your help getting Aaron and Olivia up and dressed.” I turn around and they are gone, helping there brother and sister get ready. By this time Elizabeth is awake. She quickly jumps in and starts making toast, which gives me time to get Ella ready. So I know you are thinking, where is Jessica in all of this? She is in the bathroom being 4 months pregnant on a Thursday morning (read: puking her guts up).
Up to this point I have failed to mention the kids, Jessica, my mother in law, and grandmother in law helped clean up the house last night. This in turn, gives me (Type A) the chance to get kids ready and not step on/over/under/through/matrix – things/toys/clothes/food/who knows what that was. Which in turn helps me to be more patient as the hurricane happens all around.
The underlying thing to all of this is that I have been praying over and concerned how we teach our children to love and serve others. In the eye of the storm that happened. The kids were serving each other and their parents, while their parents were able to serve each other. All with cheerful hearts might I add.
Everyone got to CBS and dad got to work a little bit late. This morning I really enjoyed my large family. While incredibly crazy, I loved every moment of it.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Trying to slow down
So, I would apologize for it being so long between posts, but honestly, I wonder what I'd be apologizing for. I'm sure none of you rely on this blog to sustain your existence so it seems so trivial for me to apologize (or stress) over it's lack of updating.
Still, I think about it (and most of you) often and wish that I had more time to blog about the things going on in our family. After I wrote my last post on being overwhelmed, I realized that I forgot to include one of the biggest reasons I'm emotionally overwhelmed.
Mid-October, Luke will be traveling to Guinea-Bissau for 11 days. He's going to visit each of the villages I visited during my trip in April, meet many of the same national (and missionary) partners I met and see for himself exactly why that trip confirmed so much about our calling to Kenya. I'm so excited for him to go, but honestly, I'm also very anxious.
I mean, he will be on the other side of the world away from me and the kids. And during that time, I'm planning on making a trip with the kids (and a helper!) so that the time passes more quickly for us here at home.
So that's a lot of the emotional overwhelmedness lately. Not necessarily stress, just lots to think about, pray over, prepare for and grow from.
However, I've also realized since writing that last post that so much of my overwhelmed feelings are fueled by my lack of time in the Word. As I have stepped back, evaluated some things in my life that I'm willing to let go of, I've realized that I've put my quiet time on my list of "Must dos" and not as my #1 priority.
Truly, most days, I forget I'm pregnant. I mean, I feel the fatigue, the sickness and the emotions (darn hormones) but I am quick to forget why I feel that way. I'll be just about to drop after a busy day and think, "What's wrong with me?" Then realize, oh yeah, I'm growing a baby. THAT'S why I feel like I could sleep for 2 days.
Anyway, I know this is a bunch of rambling, but just wanted to update since my post on being overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with life and things to do and places to go, but I'm also overwhelmed with all the goodness and blessings God has placed in our lives. I stand amazed at the grace He shows me when I fall on my face, slump in the bed and cry out to Him that I cannot take anymore. Then, He gives me just what I need to accomplish the things He has purposed for me.
And I realize that I really have all that really need, if I just slow down.
Still, I think about it (and most of you) often and wish that I had more time to blog about the things going on in our family. After I wrote my last post on being overwhelmed, I realized that I forgot to include one of the biggest reasons I'm emotionally overwhelmed.
Mid-October, Luke will be traveling to Guinea-Bissau for 11 days. He's going to visit each of the villages I visited during my trip in April, meet many of the same national (and missionary) partners I met and see for himself exactly why that trip confirmed so much about our calling to Kenya. I'm so excited for him to go, but honestly, I'm also very anxious.
I mean, he will be on the other side of the world away from me and the kids. And during that time, I'm planning on making a trip with the kids (and a helper!) so that the time passes more quickly for us here at home.
So that's a lot of the emotional overwhelmedness lately. Not necessarily stress, just lots to think about, pray over, prepare for and grow from.
However, I've also realized since writing that last post that so much of my overwhelmed feelings are fueled by my lack of time in the Word. As I have stepped back, evaluated some things in my life that I'm willing to let go of, I've realized that I've put my quiet time on my list of "Must dos" and not as my #1 priority.
Truly, most days, I forget I'm pregnant. I mean, I feel the fatigue, the sickness and the emotions (darn hormones) but I am quick to forget why I feel that way. I'll be just about to drop after a busy day and think, "What's wrong with me?" Then realize, oh yeah, I'm growing a baby. THAT'S why I feel like I could sleep for 2 days.
Anyway, I know this is a bunch of rambling, but just wanted to update since my post on being overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with life and things to do and places to go, but I'm also overwhelmed with all the goodness and blessings God has placed in our lives. I stand amazed at the grace He shows me when I fall on my face, slump in the bed and cry out to Him that I cannot take anymore. Then, He gives me just what I need to accomplish the things He has purposed for me.
And I realize that I really have all that really need, if I just slow down.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Overwhelmed
Lately, life seems really overwhelming.
There seems to be so much to do and just not enough hours in the day. There are so many things in our lives that are worthwhile, good and even purposeful that seem like heaping spoonfuls on our already full plate.
I am not a planner by nature, which may surprise some of you who only vaguely know me. Someone asked me last week, when they found out we were expecting our 7th child, "Are you just the most organized person ever?"
Uh. Notsomuch.
Our house is hardly ever clean, certainly not to the standard of the majority of my friends and yet, it really doesn't bug me too much. I don't really care if people come over and there's laundry on the couch. I figure if they have an issue with it, they can fold it. :)
However, the overwhelmedness I feel lately comes from things more deeply rooted than a disorganized house (but that is adding to the feeling, I'm sure, since we've been home from the beach since Friday and I've yet to unpack any of us).
I feel as though the Lord has called me in so many different directions and truly, I'm having a hard time juggling all of it.
Homeschooling
Student Ministry
Discipling our Children
Bible Studies
Preparing for life as International Missionaries
Loving on hurting people around us
Being a good, devoted, loving friend
Being a loving, devoted and self-less wife
Mothering our brood of kids with love and compassion
I could keep going, but you get the idea. Each of the things listed above has several different components and each of those vary in complexities.
Here's what our week looks like this week (after taking a week off of school last week for the beach - so taking another week off doesn't feel like an option)
Monday - "normal" day of Homeschooling, cleaning the house, making breakfast, lunch and dinner, doing some unpacking, spending time with the little kids rather than just shooing them off while we school and Women's Bible Study from 7-9pm
Tuesday - Ella has a dermatology appointment in the morning for a weird spot on her leg then the same as Monday in the afternoon with school, meals, family time, housekeeping, etc.
Wednesday - Parent's Day Out at our church from 10-2 (Yipee! I debated skipping it, knowing what our week looked like but the kids LOVE it and so do I.) Then school in the afternoon, housekeeping, meals, etc.
Thursday - Older 3 have check ups at the Doctor in the morning (Usually we have Community Bible Study from 9-11am but I made these appointments, forgetting that it was a Thursday) then school in the afternoon. Piano for the older 3 from 5-6 and Elizabeth has soccer practice from 6-7. Somewhere in there we need to finish up the school work we've not completed so far this week and of course I have meals to make, laundry, housekeeping, etc.
Friday - "normal" school day, much like Monday. Luke's men's Bible Study is in the mornings and he has a Daddy Breakfast Date with one of the kids before he heads into work.
Again, this is MY schedule and about 99% of the time something happens (someone has an issue with poop or my "morning" sickness rears its ugly head) that throws my whole schedule out of the window.
Add to the above routine preparation for a lesson for our small group of Teenagers for Sunday Nights, trying to spend time in the Word for my own sanity, trying to knock items off our checklist for Africa Inland Mission, which currently looks like this:
That's just a excerpt of the list. It goes to 56 items. And as we draw closer to our departure date of July 2012, the items become more frequent and more pressing. See all that stuff due ASAP that we've not done? Overwhelmed.
I'm dealing with emotions with personal relationships, conflicts and the thoughts of having to tell people we love things they do not want to hear. It's hard juggling it all and trying to maintain some resemblance of normal.
We also have Bible Requirements to complete and books to read and an Outbound Training Program to complete where we meet with a Facilitator every few weeks. We SHOULD be meeting weekly with potential supporters and trying to speak with Sunday School Classes and/or Churches on Sundays. (Want us to come talk to you?)
And somewhere in all that madness we're suppose to be training, teaching, discipling and loving on our kids like a normal family who is NOT leaving in 10 months. We're mentally trying to prepare for a baby due in March of 2012 while also mentally preparing to leave the country for 4 years just 4 short months after we welcome Baby #7.
What do we sell? What do we keep? How in the heck do I get everything done and not lose my mind?
If I stand back and look at the big picture I just want to sit and cry. So I tell myself to take one day at a time. Deep breaths and baby steps to the end goal, right?
But truthfully, there are days that I MUST step back and look at the big picture or else I'll never get all of it done. The non-planner in me wants to make lists and list and lists because that's what I do when I'm stressed and overwhelmed, I make lists.
But there's not really anything list, sadly. It all just sort of hangs out there in the distance, waiting on me to arrive with little or nothing to offer.
I've tried to prioritize my days by things that MUST get done, things that SHOULD get done and things I WANT to get done. It helps but the things that make our house function day to day have no impact on the long-term things that will eventually move to the MUST category. And by the time they arrive, it will be too late and we'll me more overwhelmed than we are now.
I'm emotional. Probably because I'm pregnant because I'm not a weepy person by nature, but most days now, I want cry. I want to walk away from the callings God has placed before me, throw my hands up and say, "I quit!"
But I think that's just what the enemy wants me to do. He wants me to quit. And I refuse. I refuse to turn from the things that God has called us to. I refuse to close my eyes and pretend that it's not all pressing on me at once. I refuse to turn from God as my only source of strength.
But the fact remains that I'm overwhelmed. Just flat out overwhelmed. And I don't know what to do to fix it, which makes me even more overwhelmed.
So, what do you do when you're overwhelmed?
I've cherish your prayers and any chocolate you'd want to send my way. ;)
There seems to be so much to do and just not enough hours in the day. There are so many things in our lives that are worthwhile, good and even purposeful that seem like heaping spoonfuls on our already full plate.
I am not a planner by nature, which may surprise some of you who only vaguely know me. Someone asked me last week, when they found out we were expecting our 7th child, "Are you just the most organized person ever?"
Uh. Notsomuch.
Our house is hardly ever clean, certainly not to the standard of the majority of my friends and yet, it really doesn't bug me too much. I don't really care if people come over and there's laundry on the couch. I figure if they have an issue with it, they can fold it. :)
However, the overwhelmedness I feel lately comes from things more deeply rooted than a disorganized house (but that is adding to the feeling, I'm sure, since we've been home from the beach since Friday and I've yet to unpack any of us).
I feel as though the Lord has called me in so many different directions and truly, I'm having a hard time juggling all of it.
Homeschooling
Student Ministry
Discipling our Children
Bible Studies
Preparing for life as International Missionaries
Loving on hurting people around us
Being a good, devoted, loving friend
Being a loving, devoted and self-less wife
Mothering our brood of kids with love and compassion
I could keep going, but you get the idea. Each of the things listed above has several different components and each of those vary in complexities.
Here's what our week looks like this week (after taking a week off of school last week for the beach - so taking another week off doesn't feel like an option)
Monday - "normal" day of Homeschooling, cleaning the house, making breakfast, lunch and dinner, doing some unpacking, spending time with the little kids rather than just shooing them off while we school and Women's Bible Study from 7-9pm
Tuesday - Ella has a dermatology appointment in the morning for a weird spot on her leg then the same as Monday in the afternoon with school, meals, family time, housekeeping, etc.
Wednesday - Parent's Day Out at our church from 10-2 (Yipee! I debated skipping it, knowing what our week looked like but the kids LOVE it and so do I.) Then school in the afternoon, housekeeping, meals, etc.
Thursday - Older 3 have check ups at the Doctor in the morning (Usually we have Community Bible Study from 9-11am but I made these appointments, forgetting that it was a Thursday) then school in the afternoon. Piano for the older 3 from 5-6 and Elizabeth has soccer practice from 6-7. Somewhere in there we need to finish up the school work we've not completed so far this week and of course I have meals to make, laundry, housekeeping, etc.
Friday - "normal" school day, much like Monday. Luke's men's Bible Study is in the mornings and he has a Daddy Breakfast Date with one of the kids before he heads into work.
Again, this is MY schedule and about 99% of the time something happens (someone has an issue with poop or my "morning" sickness rears its ugly head) that throws my whole schedule out of the window.
Add to the above routine preparation for a lesson for our small group of Teenagers for Sunday Nights, trying to spend time in the Word for my own sanity, trying to knock items off our checklist for Africa Inland Mission, which currently looks like this:
That's just a excerpt of the list. It goes to 56 items. And as we draw closer to our departure date of July 2012, the items become more frequent and more pressing. See all that stuff due ASAP that we've not done? Overwhelmed.
I'm dealing with emotions with personal relationships, conflicts and the thoughts of having to tell people we love things they do not want to hear. It's hard juggling it all and trying to maintain some resemblance of normal.
We also have Bible Requirements to complete and books to read and an Outbound Training Program to complete where we meet with a Facilitator every few weeks. We SHOULD be meeting weekly with potential supporters and trying to speak with Sunday School Classes and/or Churches on Sundays. (Want us to come talk to you?)
And somewhere in all that madness we're suppose to be training, teaching, discipling and loving on our kids like a normal family who is NOT leaving in 10 months. We're mentally trying to prepare for a baby due in March of 2012 while also mentally preparing to leave the country for 4 years just 4 short months after we welcome Baby #7.
What do we sell? What do we keep? How in the heck do I get everything done and not lose my mind?
If I stand back and look at the big picture I just want to sit and cry. So I tell myself to take one day at a time. Deep breaths and baby steps to the end goal, right?
But truthfully, there are days that I MUST step back and look at the big picture or else I'll never get all of it done. The non-planner in me wants to make lists and list and lists because that's what I do when I'm stressed and overwhelmed, I make lists.
But there's not really anything list, sadly. It all just sort of hangs out there in the distance, waiting on me to arrive with little or nothing to offer.
I've tried to prioritize my days by things that MUST get done, things that SHOULD get done and things I WANT to get done. It helps but the things that make our house function day to day have no impact on the long-term things that will eventually move to the MUST category. And by the time they arrive, it will be too late and we'll me more overwhelmed than we are now.
I'm emotional. Probably because I'm pregnant because I'm not a weepy person by nature, but most days now, I want cry. I want to walk away from the callings God has placed before me, throw my hands up and say, "I quit!"
But I think that's just what the enemy wants me to do. He wants me to quit. And I refuse. I refuse to turn from the things that God has called us to. I refuse to close my eyes and pretend that it's not all pressing on me at once. I refuse to turn from God as my only source of strength.
But the fact remains that I'm overwhelmed. Just flat out overwhelmed. And I don't know what to do to fix it, which makes me even more overwhelmed.
So, what do you do when you're overwhelmed?
I've cherish your prayers and any chocolate you'd want to send my way. ;)
Friday, September 16, 2011
Beach Pics
I wish I had a good reason for not blogging lately.
I guess, I do though. Six of them. Plus one tiny one that zapping ALL my energy and desire to do anything but sleep.
We went to the beach all week and got in late last night. It was a great trip full of memory making, family and friends and fun. There were 14 of us in all with friends, grandparents and great-grandmothers.
We attempted family pictures again this year. I was the photographer. It was interesting to say the least.
Here are a few of the kids that I got that were decent. But, by far, the outtakes are the most hilarious. Maybe I'll upload them soon. But at the rate I'm blogging lately, uh, don't hold your breath.
Y'all have a great weekend.
Lucas is ticked because he's not beside Ella. Aaron is ticked because he's having to actually listen and obey.
Things about the above picture that should not shock you: 1) Olivia is talking. 2) Ashlee is closer to Ella than her own skin.
And my personal favorite.....
I guess, I do though. Six of them. Plus one tiny one that zapping ALL my energy and desire to do anything but sleep.
We went to the beach all week and got in late last night. It was a great trip full of memory making, family and friends and fun. There were 14 of us in all with friends, grandparents and great-grandmothers.
We attempted family pictures again this year. I was the photographer. It was interesting to say the least.
Here are a few of the kids that I got that were decent. But, by far, the outtakes are the most hilarious. Maybe I'll upload them soon. But at the rate I'm blogging lately, uh, don't hold your breath.
Y'all have a great weekend.
Lucas is ticked because he's not beside Ella. Aaron is ticked because he's having to actually listen and obey.
Things about the above picture that should not shock you: 1) Olivia is talking. 2) Ashlee is closer to Ella than her own skin.
And my personal favorite.....
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Please go read, then pray
Some friends of ours, who know these folks, gave me the following link.
I don't think they are open with the name of the country where they serve, but please, go read their blog and pray for the people they live along side and minister to.
It's just heartbreaking. Please pray for the people of Northern Africa. I can hardly imagine running with our children in our arms, trying to escape bombs and gunfire.
Bryan and Libby's blog.
I don't think they are open with the name of the country where they serve, but please, go read their blog and pray for the people they live along side and minister to.
It's just heartbreaking. Please pray for the people of Northern Africa. I can hardly imagine running with our children in our arms, trying to escape bombs and gunfire.
Bryan and Libby's blog.
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