My mind is spinning in such a tailspin that until I get some of this out on paper (or onto virtual paper) that I don't think I can properly function. That's what I do when I'm stressed, I make lists. I'm sure Luke LOVES my stress-induced Type A tendencies because normally I am so the opposite of Type A that I'm Type Z or something.
When I begin making lists you know I'm getting anxious. Currently I have 5 separate lists saved to our Desktop. 5 separate, yet totally related, lists titled such things as:
Needed for Baby
House Stuff
To do for the move
Repair requests that need to be done
Ways God is working (This one is SO cool and I can't wait to share it with you all.)
Not to mention that I have scribbled notes on about a bazillion pieces of paper that I can no longer find (see, not so Type A am I?). My organization skills are on overload. If you're Type A this will be the only month of my life where we can coexist peacefully. Hence the fact that my husband is LOVING that I'm a go-getter right now. LOVING IT I tell you. I think his photo is in the dictionary or Wikipedia beside Type A. And if you look up the antonym you'll find my photo.
So, why not continue my list making right here? I will, thankyouvermuch. Except this list is of things that are weighing heavily on my mind. So heavily I know nothing else to do other than list them, in a list-type fashion so that I feel like I'm accomplishing them. Or something like that.
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These past few weeks I have stunk it up homeschooling Elizabeth. Between being physically fatigued from just being pregnant to battling a never-ending cold to dealing with all the things that come with selling our house and my Maw's surgery we've done very little in the way of schooling.
She did explain reversible change (thanks to Sid the Science Kid) to Ashlee so I know she's soaking stuff up. But I feel like such a failure as a homeschooling mother. Especially because she desperately wants to know how to read and that's something we have to work on during naptime so I can give her my undivided attention and by that point in the day I just want to lay in the bed. I am using that time to read aloud to her, but still...
I've even thought about enrolling her in school for the next 2 months just so her brain cells don't die off and be shed for eternity. I worry about her loosing critical brain storage space while I'm floundering with having a baby, moving and such. At least if she's in public school she'd be learning something.
Even though it may not be what I want her learning.
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I think the use of the TV is the sole reason I will not end up yelling at my kids continually for the next 2 weeks. PBS Kids is educational, right? What about Porky Pig?
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My Darling child continues to drive me crazy. I reprimand Darling for the EXACT SAME THING every.single.day. Often multiple times a day...
"Darling we don't jump on the bed.
Darling, please don't touch that.
Darling, please don't pull all the clothes out of the drawers.
Darling, please don't climb onto the table.
Darling, please don't throw your food on the floor.
No, Darling, this is what's for dinner (or lunch or breakfast). Mommy isn't making anything else. Please eat.
Darling, STOP IT!"
It's exhausting and I feel like a failure when it comes to parenting my Darling.
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My quiet time is so sporadic. When I make time to be alone with God I am so tired that my mind drifts off to a happy place where I don't think of anything. I know that quiet time with the Lord would calm the other areas of my crazy life so I try hard, I really do. But my mind is so weary and I just can't comprehend what I'm reading. And, if I close my eyes to pray I almost fall asleep.
It's so frustrating because I feel like it's all my fault and yet I can't do anything to make it better.
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OH MY WORD THE COLD WEATHER! Please, no more snow or cold weather we need to go outside. And bundling all the kids up in 57 layers of clothes is so tiring, especially when I'm 99.9% sure that as soon as we get outside someone will poop their diaper or have to come in and poop. And then I feel selfish because it's just easier on me to stay inside where we can all be close to the toilet and in 1 layer of clothing or less. And so I can sit on something that doesn't make my pelvis feel like it's about to split into two pieces.
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I am just overwhelmed and humbled at the friends that are pouring out of the woodwork to help us with this move. Seriously, if I think about it too much I just get teary eyed. I'm pretty sure we are blessed with the most gracious, giving, serving friends on the planet.
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We still have so much to do to our house before closing. We have to paint (per our contract) all the places that have marker or crayon on the walls (which is our entire basement and most of the girls' room) and have trees removed from the yard and just MOVE OUR STUFF. Geesh, when will we ever get all that done?
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I loathe calling all of our accounts and changing our address. I just loathe it.
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Last night our whole family had cereal for dinner. All of us. How pathetic.
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And then, THEN I think, "What happens if we do all this stuff, move all our stuff and the deal falls through at the closing table? What then?"
Have mercy. I think I'm going crazy. Just plain crazy. Anybody wanna join me?
I am already there!!!!
ReplyDeleteRepeat after me..."Don't sweat the small stuff!" Now, breath.
ReplyDelete:-)
You are not losing valuable time with Elizabeth. She will continue to learn even if you are not sitting next to her helping her complete a workbook. The beautiful thing about homeschooling is that kids are always learning. It's just a matter of what they are learning. Right now, Elizabeth is watching her mom and dad go through some pretty heavy stuff in life. She's learning about God's perfect timing. About how He sustains us giving us just enough at just the right time. Keep directing her eyes up to Him and she will be fine. Take the rest to God in prayer. Remember, He can teach her to read even if you can't at the moment. She's learning some great things that she would miss if she were in a classroom.
There are other ways to expose her. Mason picks up a lot from computer games. He loves pbskids.org. Especially the Electric Company stuff. He also has a Clifford reading software that has given him some good practice. We also like starfall.com and uptoten.com for great reading and math practice.
I have also found copywork to be beneficial in two ways. It exposes them to letter/sound relationships and it is also a good way to occupy them when you're busy nursing a baby, pumping, changing a diaper, etc. Before Annabelle was born, I made two piles of workbooks that the kids could do independently. One for Addie and one for Mason. They were a great help for those times that I just needed to be able to focus on the new baby and was too hormonal to deal with their rowdiness. I put handwriting pages and verses to copy. Pattern block sheets (see prekinders.com), mazes, dot to dot, coloring, puzzles, etc. And then this great friend of mine bought them some new floor puzzles that were really helpful too!!!
Just keep your eyes on the main thing and don't listen to fear or guilt. She'll learn to read. I promise.
Relax on the homeschooling side of things. Remember ... I kept adding another baby every year or two ... taking educational breaks along the way ... and my children still learned.
ReplyDeleteNO need to put her in school. Nope. None.
At least 1/2 of a child's education is the life-learning that is taking place. She IS learning ... even if she hasn't opened a textbook or workbook in the past month. Really. She is.
Hang in there. You will get moved. The baby will come. Your child will learn to read before she graduates from high school. (you're supposed to LAUGH here ...)
mama of 13
So, you can always have Elizabeth come hang out at our house a few days a week and she can join in on our lack luster homeschool. But seriously. You need to keep life as simple as possible right now, and have no guilt. After all, you are only one person who happens to have a husband, and 5 young children, about to give birth to the 6th, homeschooling, selling a house, and moving. I mean COME ON. Cut yourself some slack, my dear. You can work with Elizabeth all summer if it makes you feel better... just consider this your summer break. Thankfully, when you're the teacher, you make the rules. The older she is, the quicker she will pick up on reading, so don't worry about it right now. Sit her in front of Between the Lions and the Electric Company, and they teach a lot of the basics.
ReplyDeleteLove you much, and if you would like a break from Darling, just say the word. I can take Darling home with me tomorrow for the weekend. :-) Absence makes the heart grow fonder...
I'm here to say exactly what the other homeschooling moms said. Kids learn all the time, no matter where their workbooks are sitting (or lost). Go get some educational movies from the library and call it good for now. They even have learning to read movies, Leapfrog has Letter Factory and Word Factory, and they are awesome!
ReplyDelete1) you are too funny
ReplyDelete2) i love list...i make list of what lists to make
3) i would totally give up being pg for lent! ha :) hope baby beav comes sooner rather than later!
4) the topic was andrew young the guy would said he was the father of john edward's baby. we were hoping for someone different (like fun famous) but it was very interesting! and oprah was just sooo normal!
5) praying for you and your fam during these next crazy few weeks!