A mothering milestone contest!

In 2002 it was 50% of our household.

In 2004 it jumped to 67%.

In 2006 it rose again to 80%.

In mid-2008 it climbed to a staggering 83% of our household.

By the end of 2008, when I thought it couldn't possibly get any higher, it rose to an all time high of 86%.

In 2010 it fell just a bit to 75%.

In mid-2012 it was 56%.

Today, a milestone in our home, has lowered it to the lowest ever at 33%!!! Yipppeee!

In 10 years it's not been even in the neighborhood of the 30s until today, which brought me a glimmer of hope, people.

If you can guess what these percentages are referencing, I'll mail you a paper copy (or buy you the Kindle or Nook copy if you live outside the continental US) of the Jesus Storybook Bible, our family's favorite story time Bible.

To enter, simply leave a comment with your best guess. The most precise guess wins! You can only enter once per user id. If your user id doesn't take me to an email or way to contact you, please leave that in the comments section also in case you win!

* I have not been compensated by the Jesus Storybook Bible or Zonderkids for this post, I simply love this Bible.

** If I texted you the big news this morning, you're automatically disqualified. Sorry!

Entries accepted until 12:01am Saturday, October 6th, EST. Happy guessing!

Sneak Peek Photos

I should be packing. Or sleeping. Instead, I'm pulling up breathtaking photos on my computer and staring at them intently.

You see, in exactly 1 month, our sweet, amazing, wonderful babysitter Amanda is getting married. And over the last several months, our relationship has blossomed and now, well, she's not just a babysitter anymore. Now, she's my friend.

And I couldn't be more excited for her. She's marrying an amazing man who loves her fiercely, loves our kids (which speaks volumes to me) and, best yet, loves the Lord.

Today I had the pleasure of, once again, playing photographer and taking some Bridal Portraits for Amanda.

You guys, she is stunning. It's a good thing I'm going to be plenty distracted by my chaotic kids at her wedding or I'd bawl my eyes out. Oh who am I kidding? I probably will anyway.

I so wish that I could show you my FAVORITES but they show too much of her dress! After the wedding I'll post my favorites. Until then, you're stuck with these teasers.

What an honor to have dugout level seats to the beginning of a marriage! This girl blesses me, often. I wonder how they feel about life in Kenya? ;)

Life's a beach

Today

was

a relaxing

and totally awesome

first day

of vacation.

(P.S. No. The laptop keyboard is not fixed. I'm typing using a wireless keyboard that's wirelessly connected to our laptop. It's sorta like those folks who put a working TV on top of a much larger, non-working TV. Redneck much?)

All I need now is some blue-gray hair to go with my wax earplugs

The bloggin's been sparse lately, huh? That's what starting a new school year and attempting to be more routine about our day will do for you, huh? I've been trying to muster up some effort in the late evenings to blog but instead a little someone has decided that her new bedtime is 10:00pm and I'm just wore slap out. And there's also another someone who I like to spend time with sans kids and so blogging goes to the wayside.

Right now, the older 3 are playing something Toy Story related in the living room, I have a frozen Stouffer's lasagna in the oven, Aaron is in a TV coma because of his new love, Diego and the two littlest girls are asleep. Scratch that, Olivia is now stirring.

Currently, I'm dealing with pool water in the ear that refuses to make an exit, despite my attempts with rubbing alcohol and mashing my ear to the hot concrete because of some advice someone gave me. Neither has worked for the goal that I set out for. Although I have succeeded in have the most sterile ear canal on the planet and I'm sure that I've caused everyone driving by my house to wonder about the mental stability of the lady who's outside laying down on her sidewalk, then raising her head, shaking it and repeating.

Glad I'm awesome.

Another friend suggested that maybe I shouldn't put my head underwater when we go to the pool. However, that would never work because then I'd no longer be a cool Mom who does flips and cartwheels and super impressive cannonballs off the diving board. I mean, obviously God gave me lots 'o junk in my trunk so that my offspring can adequately marvel at my ability to make a giant splash and "make the pool wavy." (It's a small pool. Really. Stop imagining an Olympic sized pool in your mind. I promise it's a small one. My trunk's not that full. Maybe.)

My need for those old lady wax earplugs when I swim won't take away from my cool factor. Will it?

Oh and if anyone has any reasonable ideas for how to excavate pool water from your inner ear, I'd be happy to entertain them. Obviously. I mean, I did press the side of my face to my sidewalk earlier, so maybe that whole reasonable thing is just a suggestion. Just like how Stouffer's suggests that I heat their lasagna before eating it. You know, whatever.

I'M FAMOUS!!! Except, not really

It shouldn't be a surprise to you that one of my favorite sites is Cake Wrecks. I mean, what could tickle me more than brilliantly remarkable screw ups that make you laugh, literally out loud, AND they're made entirely of cake?

Nothing, that's what.

I mean, come on people. It's like the hilarity and flavor of heaven all in one website. Perfection I tell you. Well, not really perfection because, hello?, they are messed up cakes.

At any rate, when I first found the Cake Wrecks blog, I immediately submitted a cake that was made for one of my family members.

TODAY ON CAKE WRECKS, my cake made it to press!!

That's right people, it's like the 7 phases of Kevin Bacon except without the Kevin Bacon. Which means I'm totally famous now!

So, here's the deal, check out this post over on Cake Wrecks. Come back and leave me a comment telling me which cake is the one I submitted (it's not that difficult because I've blogged about our cake screw up before). Of the correct answers I will randomly pick a winner and award them with a prize.

Your prize could be as arbitrary as 584 Beaver points (which are totally worthless). Or possibly something a little more enticing. (Cut me some slack here people, I've gotta figure out what would be a cool gift and right now I DO NOT have the brain power. Work yourself up for the points and if it's something better, well, then HOORAY!)

You have until 11:59pm on Friday, May 28, 2010 to enter. After that, and when our lives return to normal (normal for us anyway) I'll pick a winner using Random.org.

Happy caking, everyone.

Hummm...that reminds me...I've gotta go order the twins' birthday cakes for their party on Saturday. Think I should use the same place as when I ordered the Wreck? Naaaaaaahhhhh....

Man Food, Guns and Fresh Kill

Special Time - n. (spe-shul time) - the act of Mommy and Daddy spending quality time with one of the "big kids" doing whatever the big kid wants to do.

Lucas' special time was, by far, the most interesting special time I've ever experienced with our children. On Saturday afternoon, I had purchased some flower bulbs and seeds at the dollar store. I just knew Lucas would want to play in the dirt and plant all the flowers in our very detestable flower bed.

No such luck.

Instead, Lucas' special time was all about being 150% boy.

You see, a few weeks ago it was Ashlee's turn for special time. What did Ashlee want to do? Bake a cake. There was no convincing her otherwise. So, we baked a cake.


But OH NO! Lucas wanted to have nothing to do with planting or baking or cleaning or such. Instead, he wanted to play "Fireman" which eventually evolved into the funniest, and probably most testosterone filled, evening I've had in a long, long time....er, ever (at least for the testosteroney part).

Warning: The quality of these pictures are TERRIBLE. Namely because a certain 9 month old, who shall remain nameless, pulled our camera off of the bar and now the LCD screen does not work. And, I suck at correctly focusing pictures with the viewfinder in low lighting (which you will see why such lighting was necessary in just a second).

Anyway, our evening began with Lucas wanting to play "Fireman." Very quickly that turned into "hunting" which then evolved into 2 make-up wearing RAMBO men fighting for their lives. I knew I would eventually use that Clinque "Cherry Apple Red" lipstick for something.

Taking aim

Mean faces

After both boys had their sights aligned and their shooting techniques perfected, they went on a hunting expedition.

Strategically placed throughout the house were "enemies" that they had to find and destroy. Such enemies could look sweet and cuddly, but don't let their costumes fool you.

This is a flesh eating polar bear. There used to be a person sitting in that chair. Luckily, my protectors stalked and killed him before he had a chance to sink his flesh ripping teeth into any of us.
Because of the fierceness of the "enemies" these boys had to perfect their army crawling. As you can see, perfection is in the eye of the beholder, er...crawler.

Lucas got smart and hitched a ride on the back of his wingman.

Then, they proceeded to obliterated all enemies. There was a brief moment of turmoil, which ended in Lucas saving Luke's life from Tigger the mean leopard (yes, we know he's tiger, but my kids are addicted to Tarzan right now). He still reminds Luke, as he gently pats underneath his father's chin,

"I swafed your wife dad."

To which Luke responds,

"Yes son, I know."

At the end of their hunting adventure was a prize kill of Vance the Dog. Apparently, underneath that pile-o-dog is a smell that makes grown men snarl. Lucas is obviously oblivious to the stank of fresh kill since he's such an avid hunter.

Our evening was capped off with the ultimate man food: Hot Wings. Naturally present was the ever constant staple of our dinner diet: Mac & Cheese.


So, if you're almost 3 year old son ever requests a "Princess Party" for his 3rd birthday, rest assured that it's nothing that a little fried meat, gun fire and fresh kill can't cure.

I'm still trying to figure out who had the best time, Luke or Lucas.

Yet, it's so hard to really be considered tough when you have a porcelain princess pig peeking over your shoulder.

(Not So) Extreme Makeover: Drama Queen Edition

There comes a time when every self-respecting mother must take her children for haircuts. (Or I guess one could cut their hair within the confines of their own house, but let's be serious people...I use Bisquick to make pancakes and I buy pre-made scrapbooks. Crafty ain't my thang and I'm not about to try my skills on the only thing in my house that I DID make from scratch. If you didn't catch that, just think about it a little longer.)

Today was that day for me. Luckily, I had my own mom, A.K.A "MeMe" in tow, you know...so someone had my back. This posse rarely ventures into public with only one person who can fill sippy cups and wipe bottoms...that would be committing social suicide.

Elizabeth went first as she continually reminded me, and Ms. Tera (our "stylist") that she wanted,

"Just a trim. And not curwels cut off."

Check. Curls remained in tact.

Next was Lucas. Let me just tell you that Lucas LOVES getting his hair cut. Seriously. I told him last week that we were going to see Ms. Tera and since then, he's asked every day

"We get my hay-were-cut today and then I get a sutter?"

Okay, so maybe it's not the haircut he likes as much as the sucker. Even still, suckers and guns...that's what this boy is made of...and of course, smiles.


Ashlee went last because she got the most dramatic transformation. Our little Drama Queen has the slipperyest hair this side of the Mississippi. Every week I send her into gymnastics with two adorable pigtails and each week she comes back to me looking like a miniature version of Bozo the Clown.

So, I decided to go with a childlike, yet stylish bob. She's petite and spunky, and DRAMATIC, so I figured if anyone in our house could pull of a bob it would be her. Let's face it, I'm not going for the bob look anytime soon...much to my husband's dismay.

At any rate, I was right. She is now the cutest thing this side of the Mississippi. Take a look for yourself.

With long flowing hair:


Sporting the stylish bob:

Front View


Back view

I think it fits her spunky personality to a T.

I'm Dreaming, Of A White...Sickness

Yesterday it snowed. Yes, snow. I realize that this may not be a big deal for most of you, but for us in the South, in particular my town, this is HUGE. Seriously. Luke's bank didn't open until 11am (even though he stayed home with my sick self to tend to the youngin's). Schools closed, daycare centers left working parents to fend for themselves...why I wouldn't have been surprised if the USPS itself closed, except for that motto of theirs, something about rain, sleet, snow, hail...

At any rate, the ground was covered..sorta. It was probably no more than what you northerners would call a "dusting" but we southern folk considered it an all out blizzard. I bet the Wal-mart was slap out of bread and milk.

I was super bummed because of all the weather that this southern girl experiences, snow is the least likely to happen and yet my absolute favorite. So, I bundled up my 2.5 year old boy (the girls were, and still are, at the grandparents since this is my second visit from Mr. Streptococcus) and sent him out to play in the bitter cold with his Daddy.

Now, usually Luke's not the photographer in the family. But this time, I've gotta give him props. He did a superb job, and while I was doped up passed out on pain meds in the bed, he took pictures that made me feel like I was right out there with them. Actually, with the way those pain meds made me feel, I MIGHT HAVE been right out there with him and never known it.

Come to think of it these pictures ARE pretty good...

Lucas boots, Daddy boots.

Guess who?

Seriously. Where did this man get his photo taking skills all of the sudden?

Our Winter Wonderland (and part of Brinkley's tail).

A Contest and Fun with Gizmo

So, Gizmo has this cool thing (I mean it's not a Mac for you Mac folk) where you can do funny stuff with the built in webcam. Basically, it's the coolest thing since our new Diaper Genie III (and man is THAT thing cool). Our house used to totally smell like poop, all the time, until the Diaper Genie III. It was a Christmas gift from my mom. She gave it to Luke. Hilarious, right? Even funnier was how excited we BOTH got over a diaper genie. She had thoughtfully tucked a Lowe's gift card inside as well so Luke didn't totally feel short changed.

Still, this webcam is rockin'. Not only can you disfigure yourself, but you can add cool faces, hats, ears and such. It is awesome. My friend Grace was over, and we got the brilliant idea to get some of Baby D, so that I could post them on here. Naturally, Elizabeth, Lucas and Ashlee joined in on the fun.

So...here you go.

The phantom of naptime.

Elfie Ash

Artsy Elizabeth

Ashlee 1, Elizabeth, Ashlee 2
(Praise God this is only a picture. I mean, I love my Ashlee...but PRAISE GOD!)

This is my happy face!

Grace's Version of a fish, and double pacci Baby D


"Because I only have EYE(s) for you..."

Happy Boy, with 2 kitty kitties

It only looks like he's puking. It's really his kitty's tail.

The Scary Big Bad Wolf!

And finally, I have seen other blogs do this, but have yet to try for fear of complete failure or lack of participation (that's your guilt trip right there). However, here goes.


CONTEST: For the picture below, I challenge you to give it a clever caption or title. The winner will receive a prize of some sort. Either a personalized certificate of achievement (which I would expect you to frame and display prominently), or something a little more tangible (we'll see what I come up with out of our tacky Christmas present collection...just kidding) that I would mail to you or drop off personally if I actually know you IRL (in real life).

So...NAME THIS PHOTO. The contest closes whenever the urge hits me, sometime tomorrow.


*Entries limited to 1 (one) per registered blogger user and void anywhere prohibited or if I can't find anything fun in the tacky Christmas present closet. You are not allowed to be offended if I re-gift your Christmas present. In such case, it would NOT be from the tacky Christmas present closet but rather from the section right beside that pile labeled, "Best Gifts Ever."

Who's Who?

We have our desktop set up so that the screen saver is our pictures on a slideshow. It shows every picture on our computer going all the way back before we had kids (Did I mention we've had our desktop since before we got married 6 years ago? Now you know why Gizmo is such a treat!).

As I walked through the kitchen yesterday, a picture flashed across the screen. I had to go back and look at it because I couldn't tell who it was...Baby D or Lucas. So, I thought I'd let ya'll decide. Since TECHNICALLY I can't put Baby D's face on here, you may never know the truth. Guess you'll have to just trust your instincts. ;)

The freaky part is that when I went to look up these pictures I found that they were taken almost exactly 2 years apart. Lucas' was taken on 12-8-06 and Baby D's on 12-3-08. Craziness huh? So, without further ado, I ask you...

Who's Who? Try your best to figure out which little boy is which. One is Lucas at around 6.5 months old and the other is Baby D at 7 months old. For both boys, this is (was) their favorite past time, jumping, not dozing, in the Johnny Jump Up. Happy Guessing!

Photo #1

Photo #2

PS-If you know us and have physically been to our house, this will be a no brainer. Try not to spoil the fun for everyone!

My New Friend Gizmo

I've been begging Luke to buy me a laptop now for about 8-10 months (oh it's so close, let's just call it a year). At any rate, since we follow Dave Ramsey's guide and pay only cash, no credit, we've opted to wait and save up. Whew, it's been a long wait.

First we bought Big Red, which depleted our savings. Then, several small things took bites out as well. Then there was Christmas and, well...let's just say our savings account will be thrilled to see our tax return come February.

We got so many gift cards for Christmas that Luke finally said yes. We purchased a laptop at the Dell Outlet store (which for the life of me I don't know why I'd ever buy a personalized one now), and I anxiously checked my Dell account for a tracking number that never showed. I even called the Dell folks to see if they could help me track my laptop. Notta.

Wouldn't you know, FedEx would decide to deliever my new laptop just as I was 1 wipe into a smelly diaper. I had not yet showered, had on no bra, was wearing my glasses and looked, well...interesting.

Nonetheless, my new laptop loved me just the same. It was a sweet introduction and I briefly thought about grabbing my camera and taking a picture of the FedEx guy walking up to the door, but I didn't want to freak him out any further (I mean, since I looked so fab and all).

Tearing into my new toy

Isn't she lovely? Let's call her Gizmo, okay?

So now, as I sit in my bed, and write his post with Gizmo on my lap, I realize that this could evolve into a bad, bad thing. Oh well, I'm always looking for ways to test my self-control...wait, no I'm not.

FWD: Emails

This will be a ranting post. If you don't like rants, stop now.

I HATE forwards. Okay, hate is a strong word, but I really, really don't like them. If you send me forwards on the regular take this as your hint to STOP.

Why are some people forward junkies? I mean, an occasional good forward can be sometimes warranted..sometimes. However, I have people, (in my email contact list) that feel the need to forward me everything they've ever received.

It's as if they really believe I've never gotten that same email from another forward junkie. Seriously, you can quit now.

I half expect to get their online bank statement or power bill. Yes, it's that bad.

So, I have complied this list for you to test yourself and see if you are, in fact, a forward junkie.

Here goes....

10. You have a "group" in your email address book that you use to send the majority of your emails. Emailing in bulk on a regular basis should never happen.

9. You are on at least 2 or more daily email lists. By these I mean, a joke of the day, daily devotional, cheery thoughts to live by, etc. Those in and of themselves are not bad, but here's the kicker: YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SEND ALL OF THEM TO THE GROUP MENTIONED IN #10.

If I wanted to be on the email list, I'd sign myself up. Thanks anyway.

8. You think that all of the forwards you receive are meant to be "shared" and/or are the funniest/scariest/craziest (insert any other adjective) thing you've ever read.

7. You REALLY believe that if you deny Jesus by not forwarding this email on, you will burn in hell.

6. You are awaiting your check from Bill Gates, Microsoft corporation and/or AOL for the 1,000 emails you sent on their behalf that they are tracking.

5. You think that written email word is truth and you feel it necessary to share the truth to those you know, regardless that you've have not checked into these truths for yourself. Try www.snopes.com. It's good stuff.

4. You have 6 copies of the same forward in your own email box.

3. You refuse to eat or serve your children Pop Rocks, even if you purchased them yourself. You can never be too careful about people slipping meth into the pop rocks at Walmart.

2. You know Ashley Flores by name and look for her in public places.

1. You get more offers for Viagra than you could possibly count. You see, the thing is, when your are a habitual forwarder, you usually rope yourself into getting more and more junk mail, thus placing yourself on almost every bulk email listing service known to man. Every bulk email mailing list sells Viagra by the pallet to the general public. Something here is not on the up and up (sorry, I couldn't resist).

Hopefully, you have looked at the above list and evaluated your impulse to forward. I am not saying that I do not enjoy an occasional joke or forwarded email. However, if you send more than 1 forward per calendar quarter, chances are I'm not even opening it. That's right, straight to the trash bin.

Save your fingers and reduce your risk of carpel tunnel syndrome and stop. I'd much rather hear from your personally.

And no, forwards do NOT count as "Staying in touch."

Pearly Whites

Here are some pics from yesterday's trip to the dentist. I forgot my camera (go figure) so these were taken with my phone. Terrible quality, but you get the idea.

Lucas and Ashlee were SO BIG. The hygienist and the dentist both said they couldn't believe how well they did.

They each picked out a rubber frog as a prize, but only after MUCH deliberation.

It was so much fun and I am so proud of them for being so good!

Ashlee went first because she's fearless and we knew Lucas would need some warming up

I LOVE our pediatric dentist because they cater to them so much. They give them cool sunglasses to wear and even put a pillow under their legs for comfort. It's precious!

Lucas' turn!

Say "Aaaaahhhh!"