Trying to slow down

So, I would apologize for it being so long between posts, but honestly, I wonder what I'd be apologizing for. I'm sure none of you rely on this blog to sustain your existence so it seems so trivial for me to apologize (or stress) over it's lack of updating.

Still, I think about it (and most of you) often and wish that I had more time to blog about the things going on in our family. After I wrote my last post on being overwhelmed, I realized that I forgot to include one of the biggest reasons I'm emotionally overwhelmed.

Mid-October, Luke will be traveling to Guinea-Bissau for 11 days. He's going to visit each of the villages I visited during my trip in April, meet many of the same national (and missionary) partners I met and see for himself exactly why that trip confirmed so much about our calling to Kenya. I'm so excited for him to go, but honestly, I'm also very anxious.

I mean, he will be on the other side of the world away from me and the kids. And during that time, I'm planning on making a trip with the kids (and a helper!) so that the time passes more quickly for us here at home.

So that's a lot of the emotional overwhelmedness lately. Not necessarily stress, just lots to think about, pray over, prepare for and grow from.

However, I've also realized since writing that last post that so much of my overwhelmed feelings are fueled by my lack of time in the Word. As I have stepped back, evaluated some things in my life that I'm willing to let go of, I've realized that I've put my quiet time on my list of "Must dos" and not as my #1 priority.

Truly, most days, I forget I'm pregnant. I mean, I feel the fatigue, the sickness and the emotions (darn hormones) but I am quick to forget why I feel that way. I'll be just about to drop after a busy day and think, "What's wrong with me?" Then realize, oh yeah, I'm growing a baby. THAT'S why I feel like I could sleep for 2 days.

Anyway, I know this is a bunch of rambling, but just wanted to update since my post on being overwhelmed. I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with life and things to do and places to go, but I'm also overwhelmed with all the goodness and blessings God has placed in our lives. I stand amazed at the grace He shows me when I fall on my face, slump in the bed and cry out to Him that I cannot take anymore. Then, He gives me just what I need to accomplish the things He has purposed for me.

And I realize that I really have all that really need, if I just slow down.

Still not the post you're waiting for....sorry!

I know, I know. Many of you would like to read a post about my time in Guinea-Bissau. The words are not coming easily for me though. So much to process and convey to you, that I find it hard to put into mere words.

I've made a video of the pictures and videos taken. It's being uploaded now as we speak...er, type...and should be ready sometime tonight or tomorrow. As soon as it's ready, I'll post it!

In the mean time, I've wanted sit down and blog about my thoughts, experiences and such but I've just not had the time. I hope to be able to this afternoon while the big kids are at grandmas and the little kids are napping. BUT, first I must organize our homeschool cabinet. Homeschool convention is looming just weeks in the distance and I'd like to be better organized before going so I can know what I need verses what I just want. So if all goes well and the cabinet get sorted, then I'll be back later today with a post.

Until then, you can check out my friend Wendi's blog and read her latest entries about our trip.

I gotta get it all out somewhere

I have a swirl of things going around and around in my head. I'm much too much to stop and write full blog posts over any one topic even though I write post upon post upon post in my head all day long. And, I mean, that's what this blog is for, right? For me to get all these thoughts out somewhere? Maybe I'll just settle for a list right now, what do you say?

....I leave for Africa in 8 days. EIGHT DAYS. One week from Tomorrow to be exact. Mercy. I've got a lot to do still before I leave.

....Our awesome landlord(s) paid for us to get brand, new carpet. I love it. And I feel so blessed that they cared enough about us to bless us like that.

....Support raising is going slow and I'm trying not to let it frustrate/overwhelm/discourage me.

....We are having dinner Friday night with some awesome folks. They've raised their kids to love the Lord and serve Him with reckless abandon. I can't wait to pick their minds apart.

....We have 6 straw bales sitting in our back yard because I think it will be a good idea to have a straw bale garden this summer. I'm beginning to wonder what in the heck I've talked myself into.

....Ella weighed a smidgen less than 23 lbs at her 12 month check up on Monday. She's all over the place and CRAZY wild woman and I love her so much I hurt. I'll certainly miss all the kids (and Luke) while I'm gone to Guinea-Bissau. But when I think about leaving my littlest baby (you know, the one who sits on my hip almost all day - or stands wedged between my feet all the other times) it makes me have a small anxiety attack. Oh how I pray her little heart will be okay without me for 11 days. How I pray MY heart will be okay without all my babies for 11 days. Now I'm crying. Awesome.

....Olivia needs a whole post of her own to catch you up to speed on the happenings in her life, but just know that she's doing something so amazing that it makes me swell with pride each and every time. Okay, I'll tell ya! She's using the potty exclusively during her awake hours! I'm so flippin' proud of her! She's pretty proud of herself too. Her little tushy looks so cute in little girl undies!

....My women's Bible study group is starting the study, Experiencing God, and I could NOT be more excited! This will be the 3rd time I've done this study and each time I learn so, so much.

....I'm catching myself sitting back and taking in life events more and more lately. Like the baby shower I attended/hosted on Sunday. I just sat there and watched and thought to myself, "In 2 years, I bet I will be so many worlds away from this that it will be hard to remember what baby shower punch and cupcakes taste like."

....I'm debating writing a post on the Taboo Topic Lust. Thoughts? Yay or nay?

....I've decided that you really are the company you keep. It's made me feel so incredibly blessed to have the friends that we do. Friends who love the Lord and serve Him with their whole lives, not just when it's comfortable, convenient or makes them look good.

...And about a bazillion other things. But I've got to get to bed. It's past midnight. And we have a busy day of school ahead tomorrow.

Ask me anything: Q & A Style

I got Dr. Dobson's book from one of my friends. It's actually a 2-for-1 version with one of his other parenting books thrown in the mix. It's pretty thick, so I think I'm going to save it and read it on the plane on the way to Guinea-Bissau. (Kristle, if I lose your book in Africa, are we still friends?)

I appreciate your encouragement and suggestions on my post about dealing with my Strong Willed Child. The last few days have been better, and last night he threatened to not eat dinner (because there were - *GASP*- green beans mixed into his chicken and rice!) but after Luke told him "this is dinner" and he'd eat if for breakfast if he didn't taste it, he ATE HIS FOOD. Granted, he picked around every single green bean in his bowl, but whatever. I'm totally counting that as a victory because OHMYWORD THE GREEN BEANS WERE TOUCHING, TOUCHING THE CHICKEN AND RICE yet he still ate them. (Score one for the parents!)

Of course all this was after he glared at me like I was insane for mixing our entire meal into one dish. The nerve of some women, huh? What kind of a person mixes foods together? Except for those pesky italians (lasagna) and mexicans (quesadillias) and chinese (um, stirfry) and BAPTISTS - with their casseroles!? Mercy, if eating green beans doesn't kill him, being a baptist will. At least when there's a potluck supper on Sunday nights. ;)

Anyway, I thought I'd do a little Question and Answer post. I've gotten several comments and questions about our family and upcoming ministry lately (some through comments, some via email and some on facebo0k) and so I thought I'd just throw it out there and see if any of YOU have questions.

Pretty much everything is game for questioning. If I think it's too personal or NUNYA, then I'll just skip it. Okay?

So here it is, ask whatever you want about our family, our beliefs, our ministry, our lifestyle, our kids, our home, our homeschooling, my blog, my hair, why I'm incredibly hilarious, why I hate anything that happens before 8am in the morning. ANYTHING!! Seriously.

Just put your question in the comments section or email it to me at beaverbunch (at) gmail (dot) com. If you'd like your question to be anonymous, just tell me so in the email.

I'll give you the whole weekend to post your questions and I'll try to answer them early next week.

I'll be busy all weekend because we are hosting/leading our FOURTH d*weekend this weekend. I am so FLIPPIN' excited to spend a weekend discipling teenage girls and worshipping with some of my closest friends! You can click here and here read about our previous d*weekends.

Happy Friday y'all!

Ketchup

This will be a totally random Ketchup post. You know, catch-up. Ahem. Anyway.

My milk supply is almost totally back. I ran out of the herbal mix (Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, Fennel Seed & some other stuff) of Lactation Support I was taking and switched to taking plain ol' Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle. I'm loading my body down on both and my supply has skyrocketed. Okay, so maybe not skyrocketed but it's back and much, much better.

Since I posted about my Nursing Woes (and you guys poured out support, thank you!) we've only had to give Ella a couple of bottles of formula and those were either late at night or in the middle of the night. (Which, I mean, HELLO sleep because Luke can totally mix a bottle of formula! Woot!)

I really think it was a compilation of several factors that caused my supply to plummet. This weekend and even this morning it appears as though my supply is back completely. Thank you all for your concern, suggestions and even offering you own milk reserves. Y'all rock!

It snowed again today. This is already our 3rd or 4th snow of the winter. The last snow was decent and we had snow on the ground for several days. They called for today's snow to be a Winter Storm (which, in the South, means that it will cover the ground and all milk and bread will be gone from every operating grocery store). It was merely a heavy dusting. Enough to close the schools (I know. You Northerners can insert a huge eye roll here.) and make everyone panic. It has stopped flurrying and it's unlikely we will see anymore today which just makes me so happy.

Can I just tell you how much I am OVER the snow and cold? I mean, I normally like winter but PLEASE come on Spring! My kids are driving me crazy in this house all day. And I refuse, refuse to bundle them all up by myself and take them out because that's a recipe for everyone's bowels to move at the exact same time.

I've never wanted to battle seasonal allergies so much in my life. Um..yes, pollen? Please come quickly. We have an urgent issue here on the South Eastern Coast. It's called Winter and I think you are the only hope of ever seeing the warm, fresh sunshine again.

Though I will say that on days like today it is nice that we homeschool so that we can trudge through the day as usual and in 2 months when it's beautiful outside (and all the students are sitting in their classrooms looking longingly at the sunshine through their classroom windows) we can take a Snow Day and play in the sun while Momma gains some sanity.

Finally, I'm helping our amazing babysitter/Nanny plan her June wedding. They have a beautiful site reserved for the ceremony and reception and her dress looks stunning on her. But, she and her fiance are footing the majority of the bill. If any of you have any good, inexpensive and classic ideas for an outdoor wedding I'm all ears.

Her fiance is from New Orleans, so we'd like to have a touch of the French Quarter at the reception. You know, the classy side of New Orleans. ;) Seriously, any tips, websites or ideas are welcome.

Y'all have a superb Monday.

I like to ramble until it makes sense

I still have so much I want to blog about regarding the last week or so. I was suppose to be in Arkansas today, attending my great-uncle's funeral. I was scheduled to leave, with Ella, yesterday morning at 9am. Then Wednesday night, I got struck with the worst stomach virus I've ever had. I've not been that sick in years. (And I've had my fair share of stomach viruses.) It was gross.

I called the airline yesterday morning at 8am, told them about my illness, and, by the grace of God, they fully refunded my ticket. I was shocked. I just knew they'd make a big deal about it and keep at least half of my ticket price. Nope. Not one dime. 100% refunded. And it was a non-refundable, non-insured ticket. Thank you Lord!

Today Ella is running a fever. I continued nursing her through yesterday morning's bought with sickness, hoping the antibodies I was building would transfer to her. So far she's only got fever and no symptoms of a digestive virus. Everyone else seems to be fine as well, occasionally complaining of not feeling well.

Anyway, I STILL want to blog about

....Ella turning 9 months old (Which would require me going downstairs and getting the memory card out of the camera. And that's not happening right now.)

...It snowed here. On Christmas. Like a HUGE snow. So we had a White Christmas. And I took no pictures. Mom of the year. Award me. Now.

....Christmas (which, who wants to read a Christmas post more than a day or two after Christmas? So this one I'll probably just let go of. Or back date it so that I can have it on here for myself. Oh well...)

....A really good Das Not Funny! Friday. Seriously, they've said some hilarious things lately. Okay, only one good one that I can remember in my weakened, chicken broth sustained state. We were riding home, through the ice and snow, from eating Mexican food on Sunday night (because that's what every family wants the day after Christmas, right?) and we were listening to Two Weeks In Africa by Caedmon's Call. The first two lines go something like this...

"Johannesburg to Capetown,
the plane had barely touched down."

And Ashlee exclaimed from the back of the van, as only Ashlee can, "CAKE TOWN!! I LOVE CAKE!'

....Where we are with making a decision with our Ministry with Africa Inland Mission (you can read more about our journey up to this point by clicking HERE). We've finally narrowed it to two solid options. (And as you'll see, clearly this is what I continue this post about. Glad y'all helped me sort through my thoughts. Thanks.)

I think.

Since our time at Candidate Week we've had anywhere from 5-15 options available to us at any given time. As we'd mark some off the list, more would be presented for us to consider. We've known immediately, with some, that they were not good fits for us. (Me + Islands = NOTSOGOOD. I have a strong fear of the Ocean okay. I know it's unrealistic. You don't need to make fun of me. Living in a place surrounded by Ocean would give me daily panic attacks.)

Most of our options are....wait for it...wait for it.... CHURCH PLANTING.

I know. We are still shocked by these assignments since that's not where we ever imagined ourselves being. At the onset of this calling to Africa we really thought we'd be working with orphans. And maybe we still might be. But, primarily, my role will be in our home, still schooling our children and discipling whatever women the Lord leads into our home in the form of house help (And can I just tell you how incredibly excited I am about that? More on that in another post). Luke will be the one out "working." Though, I'm sure, our family will be involved in whatever ministry he works with.

At Candidate Week we decided that Luke working with Children wasn't a good fit. You see, my man is AWESOME with kids, but they suck the life out of him like a deer tick sucks blood. If he spent all day with young kids then came home to our young kids he'd be DONE and have nothing left.

So we then set our minds on Youth Ministry of some sort. I mean, afterall, we LOVE teenagers. However, most of those positions were for teaching in a Secondary school. Again, not assignments that would be a fit for Luke. Finally, after much prompting from his loving wife, we went into the Candidate Director's office and Luke described for him what he envisions us doing in Africa.

After Luke's explanation the Candidate Director said, "Well, that's basic Church Planting."

We were shocked. Us? Church planters? Umm..okay. But the more we dwell on it the more we realize it might be perfect. We love people. We love discipling people. We love meeting in small groups and living our lives along side other families. We love sharing joys and struggles and life and building relationships.

We are looking at one more option that is not really church planting but the ministry is very appealing to us, as are aspects of the location.

And that's where we are. Basically, I've turned the decision over to Luke. I am praying for him as he weighs the pros and cons of each area and prayerfully considers each ministry. This isn't easy for me since I want to yell at him, "JUST PICK A PLACE ALREADY!!"

But my very analytical husband is meticulously and methodically measuring out each assignment, location and how he could be best used. It's one thing I love and loathe about him. But I feel confident that from this point forward it's his choice as to where our family will be. He asks my opinion every few nights and I resist the urge to spew forth all my thoughts and simply answer his specific question.

Hopefully, we will know soon. And as soon as we know, you'll know.

If you've made it this far in the post, thanks for letting me think on paper. And thanks for praying for us as you feel led.

Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for us. Nor for all of you, who are radically following the calling that Christ has placed on your lives, too. Isn't it fun? And I mean the kind of fun that makes your scream at the top of your lungs for the whole ride, then when you pull safely in the station you think, "Man. That was awesome. Let's do that again."

I'd not have it any other way.

Ministry and Miracles

I know I've not been posting much lately. Between regular 'ol life, plus doing some reading for our ministry, plus doing some other ministry related business I've not had much time to blog. I have several blogs that I enjoy keeping up with and I've hardly had time to read those too.

So exactly what's going on right now? Glad you asked. :)

I'm reading a book about how to Biblically raise support for our ministry (the 2nd book I've read on such, actually).

We have required Bible courses to take (which I've not even started on, but the list looks a little daunting).

We are still praying about our assignment and have several countries on the table. But if we've learned anything so far, we've learned that those could change at any moment.

Ella is crawling everywhere and has begun pulling up which adds, for the both of us, a whole new world of things she can put into her mouth. No longer can the kids keep things away from her on the couch!

Finally, if you're not a believer in miracles, I encourage you to check out THIS blog. And THIS one too. :)

God is faithful people and He's still in the business of performing miracles.

------

I'm hoping to post a Das Not Funny! Friday post tomorrow. The kids have done so many funny things lately. Hopefully, it'll happen. Have a great day!

NavBar and some random

What's new around our house and this blog?

A lot actually. We are still processing our time in New York with Africa Inland Mission. We thought we had the potential assignments narrowed down to 2, then after sending and receiving a few emails we now find ourselves considering a few more. I'm getting a little anxious about picking a place and moving forward because we still have A LOT to do before our target departure date of July 2012.

I know it's 18+ months away but we still have a whole lot to do. I'll try to outline all of that for you all soon.

If you follow me in Google Reader, you probably saw a few random posts today. Sorry about that. I was trying to get a new Navigation Bar set up and I accidentally published some of those links with today's date rather than backdating them. Ooops. Oh well. Hopefully, once I get all those Navigation Bar links up and running I can omit a lot of the info in my sidebar and make my blog a little more user friendly. If you're interested in making a NavBar for your blog you can go to Jenieshell's Design Blog and read her tutorials. They are SO SIMPLE!

Today Ella turned 8 months old. She did her first baby sign today asking for "more." Well, at least I think she signed it. Or maybe she was clapping because I was clapping. Either way, she's pretty much the sweetest baby ever and a complete genius. :) I'll try to do a whole post on her soon and hopefully post some video because she's crawling (sorta) and can push herself up to sitting and has now been dubbed as "Elliegoat" by the big kids because she eats everything she can get her chubby little fingers on.

Aaron desperately wants to go pee in the potty but I'm over trying to potty train him. I'd be fine if he'd put everything in the potty but all he seems to care about flushing is pee pee. All other "items" he could care less about putting in the potty which means he's still in diapers for now.

I know, I know. I should carpe potty but I just don't want to. I would if he'd carpe in the potty. Then we'd be golden.

That's about it for now. I've used all my allotted computer time making the NavBar and now telling you why I had random posts showing up and talking about seizing the potty. Y'all have a great evening. And Happy Thanksgiving if I don't get back to you before then!

Random

This is going to be a random post. All over the place.

What's new around here?

A lot.

Luke and I took the three littlest kids to the farmer's market on Saturday. It was awesome. We'd never been to a farmer's market before. It was eye opening. We've also watched Food, Inc. It was informative. But, we've wanted to go to the farmer's market long before watching that movie. Watching it just sort of spurred us to go sooner rather than later. We bought lots of fresh produce and also some meat. We've been debating/talking about buying half a cow. We've heard it's healthier than buying grocery store beef. We bought some from some of the farmer's at the market and I've just finished browning some hamburger. Can I tell you there was hardly any fat? Wow.

Luke and I made our first batch of homemade laundry soap last night. I've been debating doing it for a while now and after I read this post and then realized we were about to run out of the store bought stuff, I figured now would be a good time to try it. I used this recipe. I've washed two loads today. The jury is still out on how much I like it. It's awfully lumpy/jelly like. And, there's hardly any scent. It was super easy to make though and cost next-to-nothing.

Ella has begun "biting" me with her gums when she nurses. It hurts. A lot. When I tell her "NO!" she grins at me. Earlier, I pulled her off and gently flicked her mouth and said "NO!" She grinned bigger. Great.

Our neighbor's cat had kittens. So, naturally, Elizabeth wants a kitten for her 6th birthday. Ithinknot. Thankfully, my (step)Dad took her last night and bought her a fake cat. It looks so real. It's subdued her desires to have a real cat. Thank you, from the bottom of my cat-loathing heart Dad. You are a LIFE SAVER. THANK YOU.

The 5K I signed up to run in is THIS Saturday. Holy moly. I think the dry heaving has started. (Gag.snort.cough.) Yep. Definitely.

Tomorrow is sort of an important day for us. I'll try to give details soon. If you feel led and/or you remember, we'd appreciate prayers.

There is so much laundry piled on our love seat that our children are (at this very moment) pretending like it's a mountain and climbing to the top. Elizabeth's wearing a batters helmet while she climbs. I think that's a safe precaution. It's pretty high up there.

Later this week I'm having a fun giveaway. Or, at least I think it's fun. And, it will help bring home 1 or 2 of the 147 million orphans that have no place to call home. Stay tuned!

I'm 50

I just realized I have 50 followers. Which means absolutely NOTHING.

But...it DID make me think of this.



Hilarious.

Toddlers and my randomness, a recipe for a mediocre post

Hey y'all. Hope you had a nice, relaxing, long weekend. We sure did. This week will prove to be full of stuff, once more, and we are now only 7 weeks away from Baby!

Holy moly. I should probably begin nesting. But, as I told the girls in my Bible Study group last night, I'm not a natural-born housekeeper. I wish I was, but I'm not. So, I'll probably wait until 2 weeks before this Baby is due and dig out 1 boy outfit, 1 girl outfit, the bassinet parts that go on our portable crib and all the things necessary for a new baby.

I should probably also look into getting some new tubes and bottles for my breast pump. Aren't you glad I'm making this post into a checklist of things I need to do? Glad we are in this together.

Today I take Aaron and Elizabeth to the dentist. Elizabeth LOVES the dentist and Aaron, well, I'm sure he'll continue his current attitude of "touchmeandIwillscreamlikeabanshee" for the duration of the visit.

I think his terrible 2's have officially begun. He is the PICKIEST eater and by picky I mean he eats all of 1 thing at dinner then refuses the rest and screams until you acknowledge his disapproval of the other foods.

So, most nights dinner time is a battle. Which I loathe. Because this ain't the Waffle House and Momma ain't a short order cook so you eat what is cooked already or you go hungry.

Call me mean. That's the way we roll.

(And by "this ain't the Waffle House" I intend to imply that I don't cook what you want on demand. The floors of my house may or may not be exactly like the Waffle House. I'm not sayin'.)

The crazy part is that he usually likes EVERYTHING on his plate, yet eats only one thing and rejects the rest. Starches are his favorite. If there is bread withing a 6 mile radius of our table he will scream and abandon all other foods demanding ONLY BREAD FOR DINNER.

Which does not fly with me. At all.

Ahhhh, I love todderhood.

Yes, my 2nd son is proving to be more stubborn that my 1st son. Even though I was sure that Lucas was the most stubborn child on the planet at 2 years old. Guess I was wrong. I've determined that since Aaron has little-to-no control over anything in his life, he chooses to exercise his "perceived" authority at meal times and when I change his diaper. I use the term "perceived" loosely here because truly he has no authority over either of those situations either.

Good thing he's super cute and has big, blue eyes that melt my heart or he'd be in BIG, BIG trouble.

Mmmkay, I think I'm done rambling for today. Except I still need to mention that I plan on responding to your name suggestions soon, so be on the look out. If you care. And if not, then don't look out and I'll post my opinions anyway.

Good day.

Home and some randomness for you

We are home. I know that I haven't posted yet, but today was spent running errands and wrapping Christmas presents.

Yes, you read that right. WRAPPING Christmas presents. We chose not to take our gifts for the kids on vacation but rather to wait until we got back to "do" Christmas. Well, no magic elf came to my house and wrapped the unwrapped presents I had previously purchased for our children.

So, most likely Friday morning, we will kick off 2010 with our own little family Christmas. I'm excited because the Big Kids are just old enough to really get excited and rip into paper and the "babies" get the biggest kick out of the simplest toy.

Speaking of toys. Guess what I got for Christmas this year?....

Sweet Jesus THANK YOU!

Thanks to my amazingly generous parents, tons of photos of my children will be gracing this blog very, very soon. And, hopefully, they will be GOOD photos. I'm even reading the owners manual on the thing.

Dork. I know.

Anyway, our travels were eventful. We spent lots of time riding horses and playing with friends and cousins and in new places. For the drive home Luke and I decided that we would stop and stay with his Dad just outside of Memphis. Then, we decided that we'd drive to Nashville and stop there. Then, when we got to Nashville, we decided to just keep truckin' and we ended up driving all the way through the night.

11.5 hours rather than 16.5 hours. Thankyouverymuch.

Sure, Luke and I were exhausted when we pulled into our garage at 7:00am on Saturday morning. But, the kids all climbed into their respective beds (and cribs) and Luke and I did the same and we all slept until just past 11:00am.

After a 2 hour nap on Sunday, we were all refreshed and feeling like ourselves.

I hope that your Christmases were lovely and that you made many memories while celebrating the birth of Jesus. We will probably never, ever go out of town for Christmas again.

EVER.

It was a long trip and crazy-chaotic and completely exhausting. But, we did it and saw family and now I'm glad we are home.

I'll try to post some photos soon (you know, the ones I've taken with my NEW camera) and hopefully post about some lessons I learned over this Christmas season. They were interesting ones to say the very least. VERY interesting.

I hear Baby Girl coughing and Aaron is finishing up a bath (the big kids are at my parents' house today) and so I'd better go wash and cuddle my little ones while I have the chance.

TEN short weeks until #6's expected appearance...which probably means 12 more weeks for me.

Still TWO MONTHS AWAY. Holy moly. I think I need to nest.

Bunch-O-Random

The following post you are about to read will be a bunch-o-random fun. And I use the term "fun" loosely. I figured I'd better hurry up and post before I lose the 2 readers I have left.

We had a great holiday weekend, brought on by my (step)Dad calling at 9:00am on Friday morning and asking if we'd like to go to the mountains for the long weekend, his treat.

Um? Does he know us at all? Free + vacation = Us. So, after a busy morning of going to art and morning gymnastics, then nap time where I did anything BUT prepare for a 3 day vacation, I threw the kids' clothing in bags and sent them ahead of myself, Luke and the babies with MeMe and PawPaw. Luke and I arrived later that evening, with Baby Girl and Aaron in tow. It was a great weekend, filled with hiking, creek splashing, deck dining and memory making.

Our "cabin" was nicer than our house and had a few "amenities" that I will share with you on Friday (oh yeah, peeps...it was hilarious).

The big kids loved being able to choose which room they slept in, whom they slept with and the ability to speak to the downstairs dwelling adults (that would be me, Luke and my parents) through the 2x4 boards that this cabin used as flooring. We could seriously see light between the planks. It was an awesome weekend.

In other news (because I know you're just on the edge of your seat with this post already) Baby Girl is officially crawling and is attempting to pull up on anything that will stand still for 2 minutes. She's wobbly and falls A LOT but she's learning that life with mobility is fun, fun, fun.

Aaron is getting more and more teeth and walking running everywhere. He's independent and loves it. He spent the majority of the weekend walking around outside on the deck enjoying the freedom of the open road. Only, he didn't have full freedom and he wasn't on the road, so take that whole previous sentence with a grain of salt.

My "morning" sickness is getting better. I only manage to dry heave 3 to 5 times a day rather than the 30+ that I was before. I think I'm beginning to feel little movements (versus what I thought was movement a couple weeks ago and turned out to be gas). I've sworn off soda as I realized that it was causing me intense pain in my digestive tract. It's been hard being clean and sober from Dr. Pepper these last few weeks, but my insides are thanking me. If you're looking at buying stock in Dr. Pepper you may want to wait until after I deliver this baby. I'm sure their stock prices will soar after I consume approximately 12 two-liters per hour until I'm all caught up.

Well, that's about it. Be sure to come back on Friday because I can promise you that you will have a belly laugh or maybe a chuckle or just crack a smile, depending on how hard hearted you are.

This Week's Specials

This week will hopefully prove to be a BIG week in the Beaver house. At some point this week the clerk of court should sign Aaron's adoption paperwork and give us a call and say, "Congratulations! I'm so excited for you! Your adoption of this precious child is official. I'm so excited for you that I will personally drive his paperwork to your house myself!"

or possibly a less dramatic,

"Hello. I signed your paperwork today and will mail it to you this week."

Probably the latter but I like living in the land of excitement and drama, clearly.

In other news, we had our first showing on our house last night. The agent's feedback stated that the potential buyers had 4 four year olds and that they were looking for more of a neighborhood setting.

4 four year olds huh? I'm hoping that means they understood the massive stains on our carpet and the fact that there were creepy headless Barbies laying about in the girls' bedroom. I'm also wondering why they didn't drive by our house before they asked to see the inside so that they could get a feel for the neighborhood that apparently does not exist around our house.

I mean, they have 4 four year olds so they've gotta understand that cleaning our house was no small feat. And, the one hour notice they gave us was a little much. But, it's a buyer's market so I guess that means you can be bossy and all.

Whatever.

Finally, we go to court for Baby Girl on Thursday for the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) hearing. So help me sweet mercy if her case is not heard on Thursday I might just have to be locked up for a indefinite amount of time. Which would probably not aid in us selling our house since our children would be left home alone all day and thus making our house look like a tornado hit it. I do have another reason for wanting the case to be heard on Thursday (you know, other than the fact that I want my youngest daughter to be legally MINE OURS). The roast beef sandwich that I am sure to enjoy afterwards, (at the little deli on Main St, just around the corner from the courthouse) which is God's good and perfect gift to me personally, will surely taste sweeter when served with a side of "Finally sweet Lord, TPR has begun!"

Or at least that's what I think. Hope y'all have a great day.

A Bunch Of Nothin'

**Be sure to check out Luke's post below this one. It's a good one.**

I don't really have a specific idea for this post, but I felt like blogging because the thoughts in my head have begun to overtake my interactions with my kids. For example, the big kids were "helping" me clean our bathroom this afternoon, and I was thinking about other things, you know, besides the 15 pounds of hair we were wiping off the vanity. (I know that if I had piled up all that hair it would have probably looked like a miniature yorkie terrier, in desperate need of grooming.)

Anyway, Elizabeth asked me something about fixing a broken bangle bracelet she'd found, and my response to her was so baffling that she set down her paper towel, looked at me and then left the room.

My mind is going in a thousand different directions (did I say that already?). Luke and I are praying about some directions that we hope to lead our family. Some of it could be major, some of it is nothing much to talk about, yet all of it seems to be zipping around my mind like a washing machine stuck on the spin cycle. I'm anxious about a few of the things, but the vast majority of it just entertains me to the point that, over the last few days, I've said outloud, "Ha! God, you are really gonna have to work a lot of stuff out if you expect all these things to play out and make sense."

Yes, I know He can, but I can't imagine how and I'm eager to see it all come to fruition. One of the things that I am mulling and thinking through is Thursday. On Thursday we return to court for (hopefully) Baby Girl's final TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) hearing. At that time, our prayer is that the TPR will be completed. But, that's not the end of this waiting game. After the judge orders the TPR to take place, then the DSS attorney has to draft the petition and get it to the judge. Then, the judge has to review it and sign it. Some social workers have said that all of this drafting and signature seeking has the potential to take up to SIX WEEKS. Still, I have heard of other cases (from Aaron's former social worker) that have still not been signed by a judge and the TPR hearing was in 2007. Yes, that's right, 2 years and counting for a judge's signature.

Once the judge signs the TPR petition, then the birth mother has 30 days to appeal. If she chooses to appeal, then it would go to the state Supreme court in Raleigh (I think). Honestly, I'm trying not to think about all the complications that could arise and just focus on what I know to be true.

That is: God clearly orchestrated Baby Girl's presence in our home. He holds her future in the palm of His majestic hand, and He knows every step of this process, none of it will take Him by surprise. Plus, our social worker continues to tell us that she's never seen a family get licensed, placements and potential adoptions so quickly, EVER. (And, I just smile.)

Add that to my thoughts of homeschooling, home management, money management and the general revelations that God presents to me in my quiet time and, well, it's a a lot of thinking.

So, I know this is a bunch of nothing. I know this is a post of rambled words. I know that I should not worry about any of it. But it is, I have and I do. So there you go.

Court, Questions and Counting

If you follow me on Twitter (or even if you check my blog for my twitter updates) you already know that I am extremely happy to report that the judge changed Baby Girl's case plan to TPR (Termination of Parental Rights)/Adoption.

It was an emotional moment, filled with sadness and joy. I will surely blog about it more in depth later, but I will leave you with the knowledge that we sat 5 feet away from Baby Girl's birth mom and listened to the judge tell her that she isn't a good enough parent to keep her daughter. I still cannot explain the compassion I feel for this woman. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, and at the same time, shake her and tell her about all she is missing. I could go on, but I will post more about this later.

It could still be many, many months (probably another 6 or 9 months) before Baby Girl would be "officially" ours, therefore don't expect pictures or an adoption announcement anytime soon.

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I am still reading my Bible and digging for answers to your questions from this post. I should have some more attempts at answers later in the week.

However, I would like to thank you for the incredible questions you asked and the opportunity you've given me to search out scripture, dig deep into God's word and find out some things for myself.

I challenge each of you to do the same thing. The book of Romans is full of scripture which references grace and how to be saved ("salvation" in churchy talk). If you've never read it, it's a letter from a man named Paul (a former Jew who tried to kill a bunch of Christians...who is now a Christian) to the church in Rome. Thus, the name "Romans" because that was the people he was writing the letter to.

I am also reading Ephesians (still written by Paul but to the church at Ephesus) and a little bit of the Old Testament so that I can be thorough (Mosaic law). Thanks for your patience.

(Again, if you don't have a Bible, Bible Gateway is amazing. Also, if you want one you can email me, and I'll send you one.)

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I can't believe that a week from today Luke and will have already been on our secluded, romantic and totally relaxing vacation for nearly 24 hours. To say that I am "ready" would be the understatement of the century. 6 more days....but who's counting and I'm counting.

Like A Stray Marble...

I'm having trouble staying on track with my thoughts.

I'm having trouble forming concurrent thoughts to create a blog worthy of your time (notice the abundance of pictures lately?). Why? I dunno.

What has been rolling around in my brain is....

* What are the challenges that we will face raising a child of another race?

* Why won't Baby Girl's mother just go ahead and relinquish? I mean, she hasn't seen her in WEEKS.

* I'm trying hard to focus on the word and soaking up some Son, but I come away from my quiet time discouraged. I'm not getting much out of it. I know this happens and that every time I go to scripture I can't be hit with a brick between the eyes, BUT I could use something of substance.

* Maybe God is teaching me patience since things seem to be dragging out with the babies, AND I'm getting little from my quiet time. Hummmm....I haven't asked for patience.

* I can't seem to form full thoughts or focus on any one thing for an extended period of time. I have a heavy heart for friends, ministries and friendships.

* I can't seem to get into the Christmas hype. Yes, I'm excited about celebrating the birth of my Savior, but I can't get excited about the presents, gatherings and such. Odd?

So, sorry if I'm not really blogging lately, but I can't think of anything that's really worth blogging.