So, are you gonna have any more?

We've been asked at least a thousand times if we wanted a big family from the beginning. In short, the answer to that is no.

For the most part, Luke and I both grew up as only children. When we were doing premarriage counseling, we only skimmed the surface of talking about the size of the family we would have. Maybe 3, I think, was the number we settled on.

But here's the problem. We went from 1 baby to 3 babies in just 2 pregnancies spaced apart by only 22 months. From double coverage to zone coverage. We never played man-to-man coverage. And the biggest problem of all?

Hello, my name is Jessica and I am addicted to newborns.

I just love everything about them. From their too-big skin, to the tiny noises they make to the way they stick their tiny little butts out when they stretch. And the head smell? Intoxicating. I read recently that there was a scientific study that confirmed that there really is a chemical reaction that occurs in women when they smell the head of a newborn. What person on earth didn't already know this was happening?

But you know what else I love? All of it. 

I love the 6 month old who belly laughs at the ridiculousness of her 8 year old sister. Because, y'all, this right here makes me want to have 8 more. I can't even handle that laugh.

The two year old with the butt cheek hanging out of her panties? I love that. The way she calls EVERY.SINGLE.BUG. a "pink bug!" (stink bug). The way she seems to grow during just one nap time and wakes up speaking in fuller sentences than she did just a couple hours ago, makes my head spin and my heart swell.

The 4 year old who is old enough to understand how to make a joke and is usually the first to laugh at their own hilarity. The 6 year old who begins to read overnight and the almost 10 year old who has her own style. I mean, those boots. That skirt. I couldn't pull that off, ever. I mean, hello, SIDE PONYTAIL.

I love it. All of it. This gig of motherhood and watching these people grow is, by far, the best thing I've ever been allowed to experience. I just knew Ella would be our last biological baby. And then, well, Abigail happened.

I just knew Abigail would be the last birth, nursing experience and toddler that would come from my womb. And, you know, EVELYN.

I'm so glad we didn't stop having babies at our predetermined number of 3. I can't imagine all the life, laughter and joy we'd have missed out on.* Yes, it's hard. It's hard a lot lately. Luke and I haven't had a date in WAY TOO LONG. Every night, I fall into bed for a couple hours before I begin the up and down that is my nighttime. I'm exhausted and tired and I would love to have a couple of hours to myself every day just to sit in silence. I think about a few years from now if we don't have any more babies and all the ways our lives would seemingly be easier. But I know that easy is a lie that Moms buy all the time. No matter how many kids you have your life as a mom is never easy.

Is Evelyn our last baby? Who knows. We've always kept the option of adoption open. I don't plan on being pregnant again. Ever. Ever.

But I've said that before. And each of those time I really meant it.

And if I watch that video of Evelyn belly laughing enough, I'll toss that idea right out the window. Or maybe not. Maybe we will stick to it and not birth anymore babies and adopt a few kids who need a large, crazy family and live out our days.

So to answer the question of all of you nosey people who ask me while standing in the grocery store people want to know, I'm sure:

Are you going to have any more babies?

Short answer. Probably not. But who knows. Because all of this, this life. It's hard. But then my almost 6 month old belly laughs and my ovaries kick into high gear and I question every oath I took during her pregnancy that I would never, ever, ever again do this. And I maybe send my husband a text about wanting a homebirth next time. So, you know, there's THAT.

I'm off to watch that video of my baby belly laughing while simultaneously taking whiffs of hot trash in our garbage dumpster so I can remember what morning sickness feels like.

-----

* By no means do I think that having 3 kids or less means you're missing out or that everyone should have a big, crazy, colony of kids. I'm just saying that for us, stopping at 3 wouldn't have been right.

You are able. You are enough.

*I started this post a week and a half ago. Today, I sit back on my own couch, surrounded by 8 clingy kids again.**

I sit here on the couch in California, Evelyn napping beside me and Ashlee locked onto a movie, a whole country away from 6 of our kids and my amazing husband. Ash, Evelyn and I flew here to be with Amanda as she gives birth to her second child. She was due on Sunday should be having her baby any day now is eager to deliver her second daughter and is hoping baby girl will make her appearance very soon. They already have a beautiful baby girl who is 16 months old. So, in a few days, their house will be very, very busy. And exhausting.

A very pregnant Amanda with Harper and Nick, about a week before McKinley arrived

I keep flashing back to a conversation I had with another friend a few months ago. She was lamenting how dirty her house was, how she never had any time to complete anything and she feels so frustrated at accomplishing anything productive during her days home, aside from caring for her two boys aged 2 years and 10 months. And in that conversation, I remembered. I remembered the days of us having a 2 year old and 2 newborn babies. I remembered the days of having a 4 year old, two 2 year olds and a newborn. And I thought about it in comparison to my day to day life (when I'm not living up the relaxing life in California) now. Something leapt out at me and I knew, especially as we anticipate this sweet bundle that should come right this very second any day now, that it was worth sharing. These thoughts have been swirling in anticipation of the life Amanda and Nick are about to step into. So if you have young babies, all under 3 or 4 years old. This is for you, too, friend. I hope it encourages you.

Dear Momma (and Daddy) of many littles,

Your life is hard, most days. Diapers flow freely, your boobs see more fresh air than a topless mannequin in Abercrombie, your head rarely rests on your pillow for longer than hour and a half increments. Somewhere, deep inside you, you may wonder in the exhausting hours of the wee morning, when you've been on your feet longer than you've been horizontal, if you made a mistake with all these little people you longed for, prayed for and ached to hold. That's okay. I did that, too.

Lucas (as a newly turned 2 years old) holding Aaron (the itty, bitty newborn).
Lucas' shirt was SO CORRECT.

In so many ways, your life with your 2 or 3 kids all ages 4 years (or 2 years) and under is SO MUCH harder than mine, with 8 children ages 9 years and younger. I promise, it really is. The thought of 8 kids overwhelms you, most likely. But I can assure you, my day to day life is a lot easier today than it was 6 years ago when we had a 2 year old and two newborns. Do you want to know why?

Because you are responsible for it all. I have at least two tremendous helpers named Elizabeth and Ashlee. But, not you. You, mom and dad to your two little bitties, you are all there is to keep the peace. Every pat, every feeding, every reinserting of the pacci, every diaper, every butt wipe, every snack, every meal, every drink, every boo boo that needs kissed, every cuddle and burp, all of it. YOU ARE THE ONE who has to do that. You and your husband is all there is unless he's at work, or deployed or just at the store for another round of diapers, and then you're it. You alone.

And I don't say that to overwhelm you or to make it feel even more exhausting, but to give you hope. Because, I can promise you, that one day you will blink and those sweet babies that are 16 months apart will be 9 years old and 8 years old and the very best of friends. You'll hear them arguing over who gets to sleep on the top bunk tonight, or who wore the stonewashed jeans last or who took all the marshmallow cereal and you'll have to think really, really hard to remember how exhausting today was for you. You'll hear them tell each other secrets that they only reserve for each other and your heart will feel so overwhelmed with joy and love it just might explode.

Elizabeth - 3 years (almost 4), Lucas and Ashlee - 2 years, and newborn
Aaron in my arms, about to take his first "real" bath.

When you have a rockstar mom day, and both babies sleep like they've been sprinkled with sleeping dust from heaven, high five yourself and enjoy it. But when it's been a cry fest day, all you've accomplished all day long is holding babies and the smell of your own person makes you cringe, remember that this won't last forever. Also remember that this is the hardest part. Yes, there will be days when your first born begins to grow breasts and has her first period, her first crush and is sassier than a Kardashian with PMS and you'll wish so hard she was still 4 months old and you could baby wear her and smell her baby head. Those days will be hard, too. Trust me.

But today, the day that you are everything and everyone and the most important person on the face of the planet to everyone in your home, these days are hard. Emotionally, physically, spiritually all of it. You'll fall into the bed at the end of every day and, if you don't crash immediately, you'll replay the day in your head, highlighting all the ways you feel you failed. And you'll probably cry when you think about how you've probably bruised their fragile, little hearts with your harsh, exhausted tone of voice at nap time because OH MY GAH PLEASE GO TO SLEEP IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES OR I WILL SNAP. Believe me when I tell you that you did not do permanent damage. It will be overridden by the hours you will spend rocking and holding and cuddling and kissing boo-boos and everything in between. Your babies will grow up, too quickly I can assure you, and you will long for the days when you had to hold your sweet newborn just so you could both nap while the toddler naps.

Luke and I with Luke's Dad and step-Mom.
Elizabeth is not quite two years old, the twins are newbies.

 The best advice I have for you right now, exhausted Momma, is to cut yourself some slack. And take lots and lots and lots of pictures. Journal if your arms are able to move at the end of a long day. Because you will forget. You'll forget the details you swore to yourself you'd remember. When I had my first 3 babies, facebook was relatively new and Instagram wasn't even a thought. Thankfully, with those two things, the picture part will be easier for you now. But journal, journal, journal. Even if you're a bad writer. Even if you can't write out complete sentences. Write it down. I wish, so much, I'd have blogged back then.

I *think* this is the morning of Elizabeth's 2nd birthday. If not, it's close to then.
Look at my tiny twins! Oh goodness I miss those baby cheeks.

Finally, my sweet friend, savor as many moments as you can. I know it's hard. I do. And sometimes it's all you can do to get through the day. But at least once a day, even if it's when everyone is screaming at fever pitch, stop, breathe, fake a smile and savor it. I heard someone say at a homeschool conference when Ella was just an itty, bitty baby (she's 4 now by the way) that, "The days are long but the years are short." It's so true. 

Savoring isn't the easiest thing in the world, either. So I don't say that flippantly. I love, love, love having newborns. But I know not all mothers are that way. And that is okay. It's okay if you don't love the newborn phase. Just like it's okay that 4 year olds aren't exactly my favorite age on the planet.

My point is, motherhood is hard. Mothering small armies of babies and toddlers without the help of an older sibling is exhausting. Cut yourself some slack. Take a long nap when you can and remember to date your husband as often as possible. You can do this. You were made to do this. I promise you were. God set those tiny people in your family with a specific purpose, at this specific time, for this specific season. When the days feel like you're drowning, remember that this time was ordained by The One who walked on drowning waters.

I promise you, you are able. You are enough. Now, sniff that newborn head for me and kiss those pudgy toddler hands (but check for boogers and mystery smells first). And if you forget that you are enough, just ask me. I'll be sure to remind you every, single time.

Love,

Me

Almost 4 month old Evelyn with less than 24 hour old McKinley

Abigail at 3 months old

Well, somehow I totally missed posting about Abigail at 2 months old. I remembered about a week later and then forgot again just as quickly.

Here's Abigail at 1 month if you'd like some perspective.

But what I truly cannot believe is that my baby is already 3 months old. Okay, actually I can. Because y'all, it's been a long 3 months.

Yet at the same time, I'm finding it harder and harder to remember what I did with my time before I was babywearing, nursing, changing, swaddling and snuggling a baby. And I'm having a hard time remembering what it was like to drive somewhere without a baby screaming in the back seat. Yep, she still hates her carseat.

Sorry, that face is just too cute!

At 3 months old, my sweet Abigail Mercy loves, loves to be held. She spends the majority of her day wrapped onto my chest in the Moby wrap or in the arms of Elizabeth - my biggest helper. I'm not sure how I would be managing without my Moby or my oldest daughter.

Unlike Ella at 3 months, Abigail could take or leave being in the mix of the other kids. Don't get me wrong, she enjoys the attention. But as I re-read that post about Ella at 3 months old, I remember her being so break-neck to see everyone and be in the middle of everything. Abigail is not quite the same way. She's perfectly content to sit in the swing and watch from a far (not that she's in the swing often, mind you!) or look at everyone else from her spot, wrapped tightly on my chest.

Her eyes are so blue they're almost indigo. Does that make sense? They're deep and rich and I could just stare at them for hours. Ahem, you know, if I didn't have 6 other people who need my attention.

She's free with her smiles and offers them to complete strangers on the regular, which tickles both me and the sweet ladies in the store who are forever stopping us to oogle over my nearly-auburn haired baby.

She's still got the sweetest little dimple that appears on the right side of her mouth when she smiles. I adore it. Can you see it in the photo above? I just want to pinch it. Gently, of course. ;)

She sleeps pretty well, certainly better than most of our others at this age. Her first stretch of night time sleep varies between 5 - 6 hours, usually starting about 10pm. Then she goes 2 - 3 hours between feedings. Certainly I cannot complain! Now if I would only go to bed at a decent time and enjoy that long stretch of sleep!

I've had to give up dairy since she seems to not sleep as well when I'm eating and drinking dairy products. She's also much more fussy. Good thing my awesome husband found some coconut milk ice cream. It's yummy and I hardly miss dairy at all - except for cheese.

She's snuggly and cuddly and really dislikes being laid down flat on her back for any length of time longer than 5 minutes. I'm not sure how that will work for her ability to roll over! She is easy going, loves her pacifier and sucks on her hands when a pacci cannot be shoved into her mouth quickly enough. She tolerates all the kisses, hugs, pats and the constant invasion of her personal space quite well.

And, I happen to think she's quite possibly the sweetest, most beautiful 3 month old I know! We continue to stand in awe of God's merciful love for us that He would give us another treasure such as Abigail. Happy 3 months sweet baby girl!

Long days, short years

I stumbled across the above video the other day. Actually, Luke stumbled upon it. And as I sat and watched it, I thought of a few things.

1) Why didn't I ask Elizabeth to put on some clothes before I began videoing?

2) Lucas' chubby baby fat is all gone. In its place is a scarred, bruised and constantly scabbed little boy.

3) Ashlee's temper is the SPITTING IMAGE of Ella's (and they look more alike than I thought!).

4) How have I so quickly forgotten this time in my children's lives?

Lucas's little voice falls on my ears as a voice I vaguely knew at some point in my life. I had totally forgotten that Ashlee had those whispy waves in her hair after bathtime. Now her hair is as straight as a board.

I remember the busyness of our home, the constant trips to the potty as the twins learned to use the toilet and how hilarious (and stressful) it was when all four kids had meltdowns at the same time.

I remember the chaos, the dirty house and I remember laughing a lot. But truly, I can't stop and picture in my mind Lucas and Ashlee as 2 year olds or Elizabeth as a 4 year old. It's almost impossible for me to remember Olivia at the age of 2 or Ella as a chubby 8 month old.

With guilt washing over me and tears stinging the back of my eyes, I realized something. Two years from now, I probably won't be able to picture each of the kids at the ages they are now.

My breath caught somewhere in my chest and it hit me. I'm so caught up in living life today, in getting through today, in teaching them today that I am not burning this time into my brain like I'll wish that I had.

For the last several months the twins have been asking when it will be their birthday. Several months before Abigail was born we kept saying, "Not until after the baby comes!" Well, now she's here and for a 5 year old, that must mean that their birthday is just around the corner, right? About mid-March they began asking more frequently, almost daily, and I continued to say, "You've still got 2 and a half months!"

They asked me again a few days ago, and this time the answer blew my mind. "45 days."

What? How can that be? In 45 days I will no longer have twin 5 year olds. What?

The thing is, I think as Moms we focus so much on just surviving that we forget that the days are flying by at warp speed. In 45 days my sweet babies will be SIX and I don't understand how that's possible because it was just a few months ago that Elizabeth turned six, right? Heh. Try two YEARS ago, nearly.

I know I've said this here before, but I'm going to say it again...a couple of years ago I was at a Homeschool convention and one of the speakers said something like this,

"When your children are young you are so busy. You are meeting their every need. But let me promise you something...the days are incredibly long, but the years are incredibly short."

Boy, was she ever right. Somehow, amid laundry and diaper changes and schooling and discipline and having babies, my big babies have turned into nearly six year olds. And in two years, I'll look back and hardly be able to remember them being five.

Which seem ridiculous to me right now because in my mind I think, "Psh. Trust me. I'll NEVER forget this stage. It's chaos and busy but every day is pretty much the same. Ella throws a fit and I laugh at her ridiculousness, Aaron shows me his fish lips - and then requests a kiss, Olivia has a meltdown and then is giggling 10 seconds later, Elizabeth is the biggest helper on the planet but can turn around and sass me like a teenager, Lucas lives on his bike and, in turn, lives covered in band-aids and Ashlee waivers between being an independent artist and wanting me to sit with her so she can read.

I'll always remember this season, right? Wrong.

In fact, just as the 3 kids in the video at the top of this post show me, all too soon I'll forget key things I thought would never leave my mind. Like Lucas' tiny sweet voice and the way he rubbed that kitty cat on his nose at bed and naptime or Ashlee's incredible temper tantrums and the way she used to look at me out of the top of her eyes and grin or Elizabeth's mouth when she used to say the word "Jesus" or "gentle" or "gymnastics."

I forget that in a few years I'll forget. I want, so desperately, to remember these precious treasures and their egocentricities and the little quirks that are the result.

I don't want to ever forget how Aaron asked for months upon end what happened to his tooth after it was pulled or how Ella excitedly told her Lamby (the lovey she sleeps with) how she was a big girl because she pooped in the potty. I don't want to forget that Elizabeth is going through a phase of wearing faux glasses that resemble Buddy Holly and that she's so darn cute in them I just giggle when I see her. I don't want to forget that Lucas is Star Wars crazed and all he talks about ever is Star Wars.

I don't want to forget that Ashlee's new favorite hobby is reading or the look on her face when she realized she could read all by herself, without my help. I don't want to forget that Aaron almost always asks everyone he meets, "Do you know about trains?"

I don't want to forget that Olivia wants, more than anything, to wear a pretty dress each and every day even if it's freezing outside and she'll need an ankle length coat over it. I don't want to forget that she hides her Harrietts (the lovies she sleeps with) under her pillow, but each night before bed she'll pull back the corner of her pillow and tell them goodnight.

Such precious things these children do but somehow, I know I will forget most of it. That is the biggest reason I blog. To remember. That is the biggest reason I take pictures. To remember.

And I pray that I will always remember to do both of those things as life continues to move at warp speeds. I want to always remember as much as I can. Because one day, I'll look back and wonder how it all happened so fast.

Now, I'm off to look at good (but inexpensive) digital video cameras online. Anyone have any good suggestions?

Abigail at 1 month

Oh how I wish I'd have known about blogging when Elizabeth and the twins were babies! And how I wish I'd have been more intentional about blogging developments and milestones each month of Aaron and Olivia's infancy.

Nonetheless, with Ella, I posted about her every month. I knew if I didn't, I'd quickly forget all the little things that happen early on in her life. Abigail is no different. So, each month over the next year the plan is to post pictures and milestones of my sweet baby girl. Really, it's less about all of you and more about me being able to look back and actually remember something.

Besides, isn't she a living doll? I'm sure I'm a little partial. :)

At one month old, Abigail Mercy has started losing some of that beautiful, dark auburn hair and now sports the baby-classic style of "receding hair-line/old man hair." But she's still as cute as a button! Her scrawny limbs remind me so much of Ashlee at that age - heck, Ashlee now!

I'm not gonna lie. When she was born and the doctor placed her on my chest, I looked at her and thought  to myself, "Whose kid is this? She doesn't look like us!"

Not that looking like Luke or I constitutes being a member of our family. Clearly. Ahem.

But truly, I expected her to look like a typical Beaver kid with round cheeks, peach fuzzy light hair and maybe a hint of her own flair. When Abigail appeared with dark hair and a face that was more slender than round, I assumed after the shock of birth wore off she'd favor Ashlee. And while she does, I continued to think - in the back of my mind or only around our closest friends - did this baby get switched with our baby at birth because, y'all, I didn't think she looked anything like us!

My Mom sent me a text about a week ago and said she was looking at some of my baby pictures and that, indeed, Abigail comes by her biology honestly. Apparently, we look alike! I dug out a photo of myself as a newborn and it's true, she's mine.

I say all of this in jest, of course, because I knew she was mine all along. Her temperament is uniquely hers, but she also reminds me quite a bit of Ella as a baby. She loves to be cuddled and held and hates her car seat with a fiery passion.

She makes the sweetest baby noises, often grunting, snorting or making other sweet little baby sounds. She hardly ever fully cries (unless she's in her carseat) but rather does this half cry-half squeak thing. She always prefers for someone, anyone really, to be holding her. Often, the spot of baby holder is occupied by one of her oldest 3 siblings. They adore her. All of her older sibling adore her. If I didn't know better, I'd swear she's lost all her hair on the top of her head from kisses, rubs and nuzzles.

She's managed to show us a few intentional smiles and usually really shows off if we makes kissy noises at her. Currently, she has a little, tiny dimple on the right side of her chin that appears only when she grins. I'm praying it stays.

She loves to be swaddled and, perhaps the BEST part of her baby-ness is, SHE TAKES A PACIFIER! Ella refused one altogether and most of the other kids only entertained them for a few weeks. But Abigail seems to really like it. A first for us since Elizabeth was an infant.

She nurses about every 2 hours during the day but does so efficiently, usually in under 10 minutes. She goes about 2.5 hours at night but last night set a new record for 4 GLORIOUS HOURS. She alternates sleeping between her bouncy seat, the swing and in someone's arms.

I try so hard not to compare all of our children to each other, but I think it's natural to when you have multiple children. And while she's similar to her older brothers and sisters in many ways, she's certainly her own little person (as if she didn't prove that enough during my pregnancy). And as I looked back at Ella's 1 month post I realized, again, that maybe Abigail does favor our other kids more than I thought.

One month old, already. It's hard to think it's already went by so quickly and yet, it's becoming harder and harder to remember what life was like without her. Happy 1 month sweet, cuddly Abigail! We love you so much!

Floppy, Well Worn, Stretched

Those are never words you really enjoy being used in reference to your body. Much less your uterus.

I went to my OB yesterday to see which way little girl was laying. Last week she was breech (butt down). Yesterday, she was transverse (sideways). The OB shifted her to vertex (head down) and then proceeded to describe my uterus in terms that one would enjoy if it referenced jello or homemade banana pudding or even the consistency of perfectly cooked noodles.

Basically, the OB told me my uterus was like a "well worn pair of jeans...nice and comfy," then "floppy and unstable" and finally, "stretched like a used rubberband."

He blamed the twins. I agree. They have a way of wearing things out quickly.

At this point, the plan is for me to buy a pregnancy belt girdle, catch this girl head down and tighten up my stomach so that she can't move. That should be interesting considering she's spinning around like the hands on a clock.

I go back to the OB on Tuesday where he will check her again to see which way she's laying. I'll be 37.5 weeks by then and he said something about me getting to around 38 weeks, turning her to head down then breaking my water so that I'll go into labor.

The good news is that I most likely won't go 42+ weeks with this pregnancy. The bad news is that it's looking like, once again, I'll be induced. Which bums me out.

But I'll focus on the fact that in the next 2 weeks it's very likely I'll have a sweet little girl to cuddle, nuzzle and sniff.

Home stretch, here I come. LITERALLY.

Turn, turn, turn!

Well, if you don't follow me on twitter, or we're not friends on Facebook, you probably haven't heard the latest about my little in-utero trouble maker.

On Thursday night, little girl was doing some sort of alien type moves. At one point a perfect cone was standing an extra 4 inches tall on the left side of my stomach and the right side was a steep slope to the general area of where my hip bone used to be.

It was painful, to say the least.

Friday morning, as I showered, I found it harder than normal to bend over and wash my feet.

At my 36 week check up later that morning, my suspicions were confirmed. Baby girl is breech.

Thus my quest began and I googled everything I could on helping a baby turn from breech to vertex.

So far we've prayed, prayed and prayed. We've asked others to pray, our kids to pray, our friends to pray and begged the Lord for her to turn. I've laid inverted on an ironing board, propped against the couch with an ice pack on the top of my tummy and a hot pack on my pelvis. She moved, she kicked, she turned nearly half way. But this morning, her head was square under my ribs again.

Later this morning, I'm going to the chiropractor and hoping she can adjust my pelvis so that little lady has NO COMFORTABLE option but head down. I'll go again on Wednesday and on Thursday, my OB will see me and evaluate little lady to see if I'm a good candidate for an external cephalic version.

If those things don't work, I'm willing to try acupuncture, walking around exclusively on my hands and pitching a royal fit. I'm also willing to break out The Byrds, put headphones on my belly and blare it as loudly as possible.

I'm praying that when I go to the OB on Thursday, we will discover a head down baby, my water will break and I'll deliver her within the hour. I'd be happy if just the first statement is true, even if I'm praying for all 3.

How ironic would it be to have 3 successful, and pretty much routine, vajayjay deliveries - including a set of twins - and then have a c-section for this little stinker?

Ella Joy at 10 months

10 months old. TEN.

If you'd like to go back and see my chubby cheekers, here are some links. Be prepared for your computer screen to crack from all the cuteness.

Ella Joy at 1 month
Ella Joy at 2 months
Ella Joy at 3 months
Ella Joy at 4 months
Ella Joy at 5 months
Ella Joy at 6 months
Ella Joy at 7 months
Ella Joy at 8 months
Ella Joy at 9 months

At 10 months Ella-goat is a mover and a shaker. She's perfected her crawling skills and, man, she's FAST. And like I told my friend Mandy last night, she's all about the bathroom. Um...not using the bathroom, just sitting in there for some reason.

If the door is left open she crawls as fast as she can to get in there before I shut the door. I took all of these photos of the Ella-goat in the tub because, well, she wasn't crawling away from me too much and the lighting in there in the mornings is amazing.

And yes, I may have bathed my child so I could take her picture. Or it could be because she pooped the poop of all poops. Or both.

Either way, look at this face. Ugh. I wanna squish her.

She still eats everything she can get her chubby little hands on. EVERYTHING. Have mercy. I've never had a child who put this much stuff in their mouth. Maybe I've been spoiled up until this point, I guess.

This is a face she makes quite often. I'm not sure why but it cracks me up every time.

Nursing is going okay, after having some serious Nursing Woes. My milk supply came back with full force for a week. I was pumping a lot and I think that helped. But the main reason I like nursing is because there are few bottles to wash and you just feed your baby without the hassle.

So I dropped the pumping so much and now it's dwindled down again. We are supplementing with formula at night so she'll get nice and full and sleep. I'm still taking Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle all day every day.

She loves to eat solid foods. Last week, my Mom was feeding her some applesauce for breakfast and I sat down with a bowl of cereal. She refused her applesauce and desperately wanted some of my cereal. Little stinker.

Part of the nursing issues, I think, is that she's too busy to sit and nurse. She is SO concerned with what everyone else is doing. Even when I go into a room alone to nurse her, she crane's her neck to see if the door is cracked. And if it is, she spends all her time unlatching to see if anyone is coming in.

She's eating just about anything we eat with the exception of peanut butter, berries and honey. She's sleeping okay, sometimes still waking up once at night, but not often. She's so joyful and just enjoys being around her brothers and sisters.

I know that we were not mistaken in naming her Ella JOY because her spirit is so full of joy and happiness. She's still so easy going and laid back and everyone in our house still tries so hard to get her to laugh and giggle.

Her newest "trick" is clapping and saying "Yay!" and shaking her head at you and saying "Boo!" trying to scare you. It's hilarious. I'll try to get it on video. If I ever find our video camera.

Happy 10 months Ella Joy! We love you so, so much!

Ella Joy at 4 months

4 months.

How in the world did I go from being incredibly, miserably, 42 weeks worth of pregnant to having a 4 month old in a 3 week time span? Okay, maybe I didn't but, seriously it feels like just yesterday I was in the hospital gazing at her new, sleeping self and now she's 4 months old. Dear God, PLEASE STOP THE TIME.

But, she has got to be the most sweet, cuddly, chubby cheeked, grinning 4 month old I know. Seriously, y'all. She is the sweetest baby. So content, so smiley, so easily satisfied. Oh I just love her beyond words.

My sweetest Ella Joy,

At 4 months old you surprised me by rolling over from back to front and then from front to back. You are proud of yourself but you get a little ticked when you can't get your arm out from underneath your belly. Once I help you though, you're usually content on your belly for a few minutes then, FLIP!, back onto your back. And, you're just so happy at your newfound skill!

As for sleeping, well, it's getting a little better. For the last several nights you've had some 6 hours stretches. And, I've found that if we put you "down" for the night at around 10:00pm, you sleep much, much better. Even if you could go down at 8 or 9, holding you off til 10pm makes your nights much easier on Mommy.


You still sleep swaddled, but starting last night Mommy and Daddy are moving you from sleeping exclusively in the swing to sleeping the crib. Last night you did great and right now you are napping in the crib. So, it's a start! I'd imagine that the next week or so could be rough until you've adjusted to sleeping solely in the crib and only sitting in the swing for fun.


Your cheeks are so squishable that I just want to spend all my spare time squeezing and kissing them. Your rolly polly thighs are nothing short of sweet marshmallow fluff! How I could just take a bite!

You are seriously the most content baby I've ever seen. You're so happy to just be in the mix with everyone. We drug out the exersaucer and I gave it a good scrubbing (you know, since it's the same one we've had since Elizabeth was born 6 years ago) and you really love being able to "stand up" in it and move some of the parts. You especially love the little turn-table that's on it. You smile at whoever stops to talk to you and you tolerate your siblings mothering you quite well.

When you sneeze, Aaron is the first one to come to your aid, if only to say, "Wess woo Wellwa." It's especially tender. Ella Joy, you make our family a sweeter place to be. We all love you so very much and I just can't remember what life was like before you were my baby girl. I've never been a Momma who desired to wake her kids just because she wanted to smooch on them, but you are making those thoughts go through my head on occasion. As I've said before, the word that I'd use to describe your little self, more than any other, is simply Sweet. I think that maybe, even your drool and slobber is as tasty as straight sugar. Or maybe it's just me.

I love you sweet girl,

Mommy

Kikoi: The Trilogy

When I posted about my kikoi so many (three) of you jumped on board and wanted one for yourself. Well, I should have known that the kikoi takes some getting used to. I got my first one a few months after we got Olivia's placement and, truthfully, I didn't like it all that much.

But then, I figured out that it really didn't matter what the "right" way was for using it. The point was, I needed to use it. When we had Ella, I dug it back out because I really didn't have a choice. I NEEDED both of my hands all day and Ella NEEDED me to hold her. So, I decided to adapt, improvise and overcome. (That's my husband's college baseball coach's motto. Smart man. He has a lot of kids. I bet it wasn't really meant at all for baseball.)

At any rate, I LOVE my kikoi. I love it beyond the amount that anyone should love a long piece of fabric. And, after I shipped out 2 kikois I got 2 responses saying that they had no clue how to use it. Or, that they had tried to use it but it was awkward.

I totally understood. And, I equally wanted them to love their kikoi as much as I love mine. So, behold, below is a trilogy of sorts on how to use your kikoi. Keep in mind I really have no idea what I'm doing. I'm also going to add some commentary in reference to each of the 3 videos. Truthfully, I would have preferred that this all be consolidated into 1 video, but my cameraman kept stopping the video (twice) and the camera he was using creates a new video each time. And, I have no stinkin' clue how to combine them all. So, bear with me people.

Also, as Luke pointed out I probably could have just emailed these videos to the two people who asked about them but what would be the fun in that? Who would provide such lovely kikoi footage to the rest of the world?

No one. That's who.

First up, how to tie your kikoi into a good knot. Seriously, could the bottom of my foot be any grosser? I won't tell you that I had JUST had a surprise pedicure THAT VERY MORNING. Seriously, I am such a hick, as if my southern drawl when I said, "foo-yut" didn't tip you off to my hick-ness that nasty foot did. If you've ever question which area of the country I'm from, these three videos should make it CLEAR AS DAY. South, deep south. That's your answer.

Also, the side "commentary" is from Olivia. She's off camera strapped into her booster seat. I'm SHOCKED she was so quiet for the making of this film. She typically interjects her thoughts anytime someone else is talking. Even though her thoughts are undecipherable.

Okay, roll that beautiful bean footage...

Kikoi 1 from The Beaver Bunch on Vimeo.

My plan was that the cameraman wouldn't stop tape but rather pass off my babe to me in one fluid motion. Guess not.

For video #2

I realize it appears as though I'm flopping my 11 week old around like a rag doll. Apparently, having an average of a baby a year over the last 6 years has made me a little confident in my baby hold techniques. Other people have told me that I'm this way but seeing it makes me understand exactly what they mean. There were a couple of times that I wanted to reach through the screen and take my baby out of my own arms. Mind you, it never feels like she's being flopped around and I have never dropped one of our babies. And, truthfully she really is safe and secure within my grip. But have mercy.

Also, WHY HASN'T ANYONE TOLD ME ABOUT THOSE SHORTS? If you've ever seen me in those shorts and not said, "Um...what's with the Mom shorts? They are not working for you." you are officially dead to me. DEAD. Seriously. I have Mom crotch AND Mom butt in those! People! I thought we were friends! I'm burning those shorts. Or, at the very least, throwing them to the WAY BACK part of my closet and only pulling them out when I have nothing else to wear and it's 157 degrees with 200% humidity. You know, when it's so stinkin' hot I don't care how my butt looks because I'll be inside sitting directly in front of the air conditioner on my ugly Mom butt.

kikoi 2 from The Beaver Bunch on Vimeo.

Onto the 3rd video, if we must...

Please note that the cameraman told me to bend over like that to show how the baby is securely in place. But, I'm sure Michael Jackson had a grand excuse as well for his baby dangling mishap, so let's just move right along...

The ugly face. Clearly my desire to help is only nullified by me plastering an ugly face all over the interweb. Glad I'm not one bit concerned with myself. Too bad the still frame of video 2 just shot the water out of my ugly face theory.

kikoi 3 from The Beaver Bunch on Vimeo.

Finally, for those of you who this video actually applies to, it would be good to note that I don't untie my kikoi between uses. This makes it available more quickly when I need it and I also think it helps to stretch the fabric and gives you a little bit of extra room that I find so helpful. I know with my green kikoi it feels a lot more relaxed.

Anyway, hope this helped you gals. And for those of you who have never had a kikoi, well, I hope you'll tell me next time I have on Mom shorts. You owe it to me.

What's Goin' On And Some BIG News

You know, around these parts we seem to have a lot going on. Let me give you the run down, just in case you've missed something these last few weeks.

* We are eagerly anticipating the call from the clerk of court's office to say that Aaron, our first foster-child placement, is officially adopted. We had hoped it would be last week. We were told on Thursday that it would be Friday. But as of yet, we've not heard.

* Baby Girl's TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) hearing was last week and we were thrilled with the judge's decision. TPR was ruled for the birth mother. Now, we are back to waiting on paperwork to process and time to lapse and eagerly anticipating our second foster-child placement to become a legal adoption.

* Through God's revelation of us being able to live on less, our house is on the market. It's only shown once but the continual cleaning and picking up is a little taxing.

* We've officially begun homeschooling. Yesterday Elizabeth, Lucas, Ashlee and I started small doing some handwriting, reading and singing. It is going to be so much fun and I can't wait to see all that the three of them learn this year. I remember getting this same feeling when I used to teach public school and it is what made me love my job way back then. Now, I love my job even more.

* Finally, and perhaps the biggest news right now is that we are expecting Beaver baby #6! Yes, I'm serious. I am 12.5 weeks pregnant and we couldn't be more excited! Elizabeth is VERY excited about being a big sister again and Lucas and Ashlee go back and forth from wanting to hold the baby when it comes out of Mommy's tummy and claiming to be pregnant themselves.

Life for us seems to be ever changing. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever slow down! But, I know that slowing down could mean missing out on some of God's greatest blessings. And, if that is the case then I'm going to be content with a house full of chaos, a life full of grace and a heart overflowing with love.

Makin' Baby's....Food

Although most of my readers probably already know HOW to make baby food, I thought I'd do a baby food making post. The reason(s) being:

1) I couldn't think of anything else.

2) I'm thinking of finally doing a Part 2 to this post, and making my own baby food is ONE way I help save our family money.

3) Because it's my blog and I can.

4) This little guy needed some (half) face time, and as you can see from the dirty highchair, hims likes some baby food.

So, here goes:

Today's lesson will be on how to make baby carrots. With baby food reaching an alarming $.69 a jar, it not only disgusts me to spend that kind of money, but I also can't help but wonder what extra "stuff" they put in it to make it stay the color that it should be (AKA..baby bananas, why aren't they brown?).

Anyway, I start with plain old carrots (or any other fruit/veggie I can find on sale).


Next, I dice the carrots as small as my knife and patience will allow. Smaller cubes means faster cooking time.

After cubing, I steam the carrots in AS LITTLE WATER AS POSSIBLE. I do this because I know that while cooking, the water gets all the good stuff, vitamins, minerals, etc. Then, I can just blend the water right in after they are cooked and I can keep all the goods from the "juice."

When the carrots (or whatever) become fork tender, I place them, a few tablespoons at a time into the blender. I blend after every few tablespoons so that I can get the desired consistency. For Stage 1 baby food, add LOTS of water. As your child progresses through the stages, you can make it lumpier and thicker. Baby D likes his food THICK, so if it's too runny when you go to feed them you can always add some rice (or oatmeal) cereal to thicken it up.

Once pureed to the consistency of your choice, I put my baby food into ice cube trays. Each cube holds about 1 tablespoon of baby food. Baby D will eat as much as 6 cubes at 1 meal!

I cover the ice cube trays in tin foil or saran wrap and freeze for at least 36 hours.

Once the cubes are frozen, I pop them out and bag them in zipper freezer bags.

Yeah, I'm just like a cooking show. I already had a bag of Sweet Potatoes prepared, so that's what you're getting to see.

When it's time to feed your little person, just pop a few cubes into a microwave safe dish, and microwave on high about 10 seconds per cube. Be sure to test the temperature though before you feed your baby so that your little one doesn't get burned.

And there you have it. This is my small way of helping ease the cost of our ever rising grocery bill. What are your secrets to making your grocery bills cheaper?

Colic Update

We switched Baby D's formula on Friday and we are beginning to see some differences. He's not been nearly as fussy. Thanks for all of the awesome suggestions. I plan on having an in-depth discussion with the doctor on Thursday about further things we can do to alleviate his gassy discomfort.

I appreciate the prayers.