I'm ready to go home

**I want to preface this by saying that I thought I'd get more into the stories of our trip in this post. As I began writing, something different emerged. I pray you will take what I write and digest it. I know speaking of the spiritual realm is often controversial. I fully intend to share with you some profound stories of how God moved mightily, reiterating the Spirit working as I share below. For more about our trip to Guinea-Bissau, check out my friend Wendi's blog.**

I thought when the time came to sit and begin writing about my trip to Guinea-Bissau that the words would come free and smooth. But the truth is, as I sit here to write I'm spending more time watching the cursor blink than I am moving my fingers. In fact, I've opened this post at least 4 times before adding anything of substance to it's context.

How does one try to express deep truth in mere words?

How do I convey to you all that I experienced when we live in a world that is so drastically different?

How can I describe the supernatural as I experienced it and the ways that God revealed to me things beyond what I ever knew to exist?

Honestly, I can't. But I'm sure gonna try.

You see the thing about Africa, for me, is this:

I've known for a long time that it would feel like home.

I've felt so called there, so drawn to her people, so eager to see the sights, smell the smells and feel the heat on my skin. But, even though I'd never before graced African soil part of me knew what it would be like. I didn't have much culture shock on our trip. Yes, things were certainly different from how they are here but none of it really shocked me because I was familiar with what to expect.

And what I'm about to tell you is either gonna cause you think I'm completely insane or confirm what you already know about God and His Spirit.

I fully believe the Lord revealed much of Africa to me in dreams, desires and thoughts before I ever even left. I think He has been for years. I think He has so deeply rooted the things of Africa in my soul that being there only served to confirm what I already knew to be true.

Several times I would be in a situation - standing in the market, sitting with my feet in the dirt, holding the hand of a child - and I just knew it was suppose to be familiar. Different that deja vu, and not quite the familiarity of something I'd seen in pictures. Something more. Something certain, like the Lord was saying, "See, I told you about this. You've been here before."

Y'all, God had given me those emotions, those feelings, down to the feeling of the dirt on my skin, before I ever even left.

As a Western culture, we are quick to claim that God is the God of the Bible (especially when we want to see His power work favorably for us). But we dismiss the supernatural, the Spirit realm so quickly. Or, if we take stock in any of it, we water it down so much that it makes it more digestible for our weak spiritual stomachs.

The Father sent His Spirit to counsel, direct, lead us and declare truth. (John 16:13-15) I fully believe that when God is preparing us to join Him in a great work, He desires to prepare our hearts and souls through His Spirit.

Have I lost you? Do you think I'm a giant freak show now?

Why is it okay for Cinderella to say, "A dream is a wish your heart makes" but for a Christian to say, "The Spirit revealed to me truth about the Father's will" is taboo? Granted, we do not need to be declaring false truths (1 John 4:1), but the Spirit does reveal truth. He desires to reveal Himself to us in a bold, radical way but I believe that as Westerners we are too afraid to breech the Spiritual realm for fear of what others will think of us. Or maybe we're too afraid of what we'll experience. Or maybe we just don't care about God enough to live outside our comfort zone and declare the word of the Lord boldly.

I can say that at one point in my life I fit all three of those descriptions. Today I sit on the other side. This post didn't turn out to be at all what I intended but nonetheless it was what is in my heart, waiting to be spilled out.

Has following God's call to join Him in Africa cost me? YES.

Family relationships have been strained, some only hanging on by a thread. Friendships have been terminated. Our faith has been stretched. Our lives mocked. We've sold the house I thought I'd live in forever. We've sacrificed comfort and we will again.

But I can assure you one thing.

Just like the people of Africa, our lives are beautiful.

God has chosen our family (for some reason I will never be able to fully grasp) to take His truth to the unreached people of Africa. And I believe that long before my trip to Guinea-Bissau God has taken us there in spirit, thoughts, dreams and desires.

As I reflect on all that I saw, experienced, felt and lived I can say without hesitation one undeniable truth: Africa feels like home.

Y'all, I'm ready to go home.

Guinea-Bissau Video

Here's a 9ish minute video I made that barely scratches the dirt off our trip to Guinea-Bissau, West Africa. I hope to begin a series of posts outlining the trip, with details, soon. Seriously.

Guinea-Bissau April 2011 from The Beaver Bunch on Vimeo.

Still not the post you're waiting for....sorry!

I know, I know. Many of you would like to read a post about my time in Guinea-Bissau. The words are not coming easily for me though. So much to process and convey to you, that I find it hard to put into mere words.

I've made a video of the pictures and videos taken. It's being uploaded now as we speak...er, type...and should be ready sometime tonight or tomorrow. As soon as it's ready, I'll post it!

In the mean time, I've wanted sit down and blog about my thoughts, experiences and such but I've just not had the time. I hope to be able to this afternoon while the big kids are at grandmas and the little kids are napping. BUT, first I must organize our homeschool cabinet. Homeschool convention is looming just weeks in the distance and I'd like to be better organized before going so I can know what I need verses what I just want. So if all goes well and the cabinet get sorted, then I'll be back later today with a post.

Until then, you can check out my friend Wendi's blog and read her latest entries about our trip.

Love Poop: the greatest gift of all

If you came here for an in-depth post on Africa, well, this isn't it.

I just wanted to let you all know that while I was gone, my AMAZING, TOTALLY AWESOME, FATHER-OF-THE-YEAR HUSBAND completely potty trained Aaron. Aaron's been wearing big boy undies for quite some time now (even before I left) but he'd hold all his poop until naptime and then unleash in his diaper. Or worse, he'd just go in his underwear, then play with it.

So on Monday, when I came home from 11 days away and Luke informed me that Aaron had been pooping in the potty, I was a tad (read: HUGE, COLOSSAL AMOUNT) skeptical. HOWEVER, today, after Bible Study, Aaron came over to me and said, "Mom, I need to go poop" AND THEN HE POOPED IN THE POTTY. And it wasn't his typical, let me squeak out a rabbit pellet to relieve the pressure then wait for the naptime diaper to poop. It was the motherLOAD.

For serious. Y'all can't possibly know what kind of a gift this is to me. Well, if you've read this post, then maybe you do. Yes, I just said a toilet full of poop is a gift. And so is having only ONE CHILD IN DIAPERS.

Y'all it's been almost FIVE YEARS since I've had only 1 kid in diapers. FIVE YEARS of 2 or 3 children wearing diapers.

For the record, my husband rocks. End of story.

Just as I suspected

Africa






is





BEAUTIFUL







just


(photo credit to my friend Wendi)



as I







suspected.

Ordinary

I know that what I'm about to say is not really going to shock any of you. But I have something I want to tell you. Lean in real close, okay?

Ready?

I'm ordinary.

Yep. Just an ordinary girl, who loves the Lord, her husband and her half a dozen crazy kids.

Nothing special. Certainly NOT a "Super-Mom" and definitely NOT a Saint. Despite what people say, I don't have a more-direct-than-you line to God. In fact, there are still days that I don't even open my Bible. Thankfully, those days are becoming fewer and fewer, but they still exist.

I'm not perfect, I think bad thoughts, I say bad things, I DO bad things. Sometimes, when the phone rings, I look at who's calling, roll my eyes then hit "Silent."

I know. Terrible isn't it?

I'm normal. Just because we adopted kids doesn't make us "Mega-Parents." Just because we desire to be Missionaries doesn't mean we are perfect. And while I do believe that we are to be held to a higher standard because of our roles within in the church and our desires to lead people to the feet of Christ, we are still sinners desperate for the grace and forgiveness that the Lord has to offer.

Wanna know what else? I'm scared.

Truth is, I'm a little worried I'm going to have a panic attack on Thursday morning. Just thinking about kissing my man and my kids good-bye for 11 days makes my heart pound, my eyes well up with tears and my breathing become more rapid.

I'm afraid. The enemy takes advantage of my fears and whispers lies to me,

"What will happen to them if you never come home?"

"No good mother would leave her kids and go half way around the world."

"What if they get sick or hurt and you're not here?"

"What if something serious happens and you never even know about it?"

"If you die, will they ever even remember you?"

Just typing those things out has made me short of breath. Truthfully though, I have two choices.

1) I can allow that fear to grip me, paralyze me both spiritually and physically and ruin my preparations over the next two days. I can cave to the attacks of the enemy, who knows how to prey on me in the most vulnerable areas of my life, and melt into a puddle of tears and fear.

OR

2) I can believe that God is sovereign and no matter what happens over the next 2 weeks, HE IS IN CONTROL.

I'm choosing Option #2. And I'm reminding myself of Option #2 moment by moment.

And I'm clinging to Psalm 56:3-4

When I am afraid,
I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?

And also Romans 8:31

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

I believe that Christ is worth it. Worth everything that I have. Christ is worth leaving my husband and children for 11 days and traveling to a country with no power grid. A country that runs solely on generators. A country that is listed as one of the poorest in the world. This trip aligns with Scripture, so I know that God is for these things. I believe that He is worth everything that I have.

I believe Acts 1:8 was written for me, and for YOU. I believe that Guinea-Bissau is the ends of the Earth. I believe that God is preparing the hearts of the Badyara people in Canquelifa, Guinea-Bissau to hear about the Best Thing that's ever happened on this Earth.

I believe that the Lord will have His hand on my family and whatever happens, it is FOR HIS GLORY. I believe that I will step onto a plane on Thursday not fully understanding what He intends to show me. I believe that I will return as a changed woman. How could I walk with God and remain the same?

I'm a small town, southern girl who lives in an ordinary house and lives an ordinary life. I'm not any more special than anyone else. Just an ordinary girl serving an amazing, anything-but-ordinary-God.

And I'm asking for your simple, heartfelt, BOLD and BIG prayers. Will you pray that my ordinary self (and the other ordinary people I'm traveling with) will be used in a way that will baffle the people around us?

Here's the basic outline of where our team will be and when. You can click over my sweet friend Wendi's blog for an outline of how to pray for our team.

Here's the outline of our schedule:

Depart April 7, 2011: (I'm leaving out specifics on our departure and return times and layovers, because y'all, the internet creeps me out.) Just know we leave about Noonish.

April 9th, 2011: After a whole DAY of a layover in a our connecting city, we arrive in Guinea-Bissau verrrry early in the morning Guinea-Bissau time. Load up all our luggage and supplies and drive for THREE HOURS on a bumpy, horrible road in a vehicle that's probably not suited for 6 people and their luggage. I'd love for you to pray that NONE of us get carsick.

We spend a full day on April 9th with some Missionaries who live in Eastern GB.

April 10, 2011: Travel to the village of Canquelifa, Guinea-Bissau (Again, another hot, cramped, lengthy, bumpy car ride.) Click here to see the best detailed map I could find of GB. Canquelifa is up there in the top, right hand corner of the country. I have a feeling that the village of Canquelifa is going to give this country girl a whole new perspective of "living in the sticks."

April 11 - 15, 2011: Team will begin door-to-door (or hut-to-hut) evangelism in the mornings. Most of the people of GB are animistic or believe in folk Islam. Please pray specifically that the Lord would soften the hearts of the people so that they can hear that what we are saying is TRUTH. In the evenings, we will show a series of films in an effort to disciple the few believers that are in the village. Please pray for the team members as we attempt to disciple believers through an interpreter.

April 16, 2011 - Another hot, bumpy, lengthy car ride (over 5 hours worth total).

April 17 - 18, 2011 - Travel home, arriving in the evening on the 18th.

Thank you for praying for myself, Wendi, another stay-at-home mom named "L" and two gentlemen ("I" and "V") who are seasoned travelers to Guinea-Bissau.

And thank you for praying for our families as they live life here at home. You guys are awesome.

I can't wait to tell you all about what God has done and continues to do in Guinea-Bissau! Talk at you in a couple weeks.

GOD ANSWERS PRAYER!

EVAN IS COMING HOME!!

Click here to read the official post from Evan's family but, y'all, SHE'S COMING HOME!!

The same judge that denied the adoption of another child with Down Syndrome just a couple of weeks ago GRANTED THE ADOPTION of Evan who also happens to have Down Syndrome.

THE SAME JUDGE!

God is amazing y'all. Simply amazing. Thank you for praying with me and countless others.

How I am praying that now, the judge will overturn her own ruling for Kirill's family! Will you pray with me about that too?