Domestic Domestic

Way back when, before the days of children and when I actually wore single digit pant sizes, I played Junior Olympic Volleyball. It's not as hoity toity as it sounds. I sat the bench. A lot.

Anyway, during my 5 years of JO Volleyball and traveling to weekend tournaments, I spent countless nights in hotel rooms packed with my teenage teammates. These were the days before smart phones and laptops so we literally had no choice but to build relationships and act like teenage girls. That included swimming in clearly closed hotel pools after business hours, spitting over balcony railings, guzzling caffeine laden drinks until the wee hours of the morning, winning some tough matches, losing some that we should have won, making huge plays, missing crucial serves and just growing into adulthood together. You will never hear me say that I miss high school, because I do not. But those days of JO Volleyball, I miss those. A lot.

I miss the sport and I miss the people.

JOVB Summer of 1997 (?)
I'm the 3rd from the left. My friend Heather is last on the right.
Our hair. I blame humidity. And the 90's.

In a day where facebook reeks of political agendas and controversy, especially following the Grammy Awards, State of the Union addresses and the latest celebrity soapbox, I'm often annoyed by what I find on there. Several times I've wanted to just shut down my entire account because I am so over people talking about who said what and what they did and how it was so outside of what they should have done and blah blah blah. But, I don't. And the reason I don't just shut it down and walk away is because:

1) I like showing off my kids. And today was the first shower I've had since Sunday so leaving the house to show them off isn't really an option every day because their adorableness would be overshadowed by my smell and the length of my armpit hair.

2) I get to keep in touch with some people that I treasure deeply, even though I've not seen them in, say, 13 years. Some of those my former teammates from my JO Volleyball days. Heather is one of those people.

Heather drove her tan, chrysler mini-van to practices. Practices that she attended wearing argyle socks and cut off khaki shorts, and sometimes, a polo shirt. I remember being slightly enamored with her because she is one of those people that you just truly enjoy being around. Thoughtful, honest, genuine.

I graduated high school and kissed my semi-small town goodbye, loaded up my car and moved to an even smaller town to play college volleyball. I knew most of the players on my college team from my JO Volleyball days. Heather played volleyball with me in college for a year (maybe 2?). When she hung up the argyle socks and khakis (wait, no, that never happened), she stuck around our small, liberal arts college and for the next 3 years we shared our college campus and a few friends. She was forever making stuff. I remember her making a table top entirely from bottle caps for her apartment. From scratch. The only thing I'd ever made from scratch was Ramen.

Some people have a gift to see beyond the immediate potential of an object (or business) and cast forth a vision of their own. To see beyond what something is in the present and create with it something outside it's normal function. I mean, do you know how long she had to save bottle caps? I'd have quit after buying my first 6-pack of bottled fanta. But that's not Heather.

Through the miracle of the internet (yes, miracle) I've watched her grow into an entrepreneur who sees what is lacking in a community and fills that void in local commerce with tenacity. All while maintaining those same qualities I admired so many, many, many, many years ago while we wore unsightly spandex (you can't play in a game in argyle and khakis) and knee socks. Honestly, integrity, authenticity.

Her latest endeavor is a company called Domestic Domestic. While most Americans disagree on everything from breastfeeding and cosleeping to more serious social issues, I'm sure there's one thing we can all agree on: Buying American made products. Buying WELL MADE American made products, at that.

That's what Domestic Domestic is all about. I asked Heather why she started the company. Here's what she said,

"So many friends do amazing things. Adopt babies, save lives, drs, lawyers, missionaries. I sell things. I just wanted to sell things with a purpose. Make my own difference. The selection of Domestic Domestic is carefully curated. Each item comes from a great company that depends on consumers to be aware of the quality. I love being the connection between these companies and craftsmen and a consumer who gives a damn."

I think that is amazing. Knowing your natural bent in life and pursuing it with a passion to make this crazy world a better place.

Domestic Domestic sells everything from whiffle balls to taco plates (which would make taco night at our house immeasurably easier. Dear God, SPILLED SHREDDED CHEESE. *shudder*) to this little gem that would surely make me smile more when I'm in my kitchen.

Head over to Domestic Domestic yourself and check it out. Because they have stuff I don't even know what you do with it. And a murse that I'm pretty sure Luke is gonna pee his pants over when I show it to him. (He's been looking for one for months. Just pick one already, right?)

Point is, there's variety. American made variety. And some pretty fun stuff that if I'd known about in college, would have made me feel better about making my ramen from scratch.

My treasured friend

Almost exactly four years ago a super skinny college girl walked through our front door and into our life. I was uncertain about leaving my babies with a stranger and, though she's never said it, I think she was a little uncertain about me too.

I asked a lot of questions, gave a lot of instructions and had high expectations.

At first, I cautiously left our young children with her in small spurts; to run quickly to the grocery store for a gallon of milk or to pick up a prescription.

But over the course of a few months, I could see that I had every reason to trust her with my most treasured possessions. My babies. She met, no exceeded, my expectations.

Back then, we were just barely more than acquaintances. While I cared about her, we both kept our distance emotionally. There were hard questions I wanted to ask her about her walk with the Lord but I was afraid of offending her, or worse, scaring her off and being left with out help. She was good and I couldn't afford to lose her.

We functioned in harmony almost immediately. She loved on our kids and I could tell she genuinely cared about them from the start. Weeks rolled into months and months into years. And somewhere along the way that super skinny college girl became one of my dearest friends.

Two years ago, she and Nick got engaged.

Sixteen months ago, they got married. She was a stunning bride.

Over the last three years, Luke and I have had the privilege of calling Nick and Amanda our friends. Our dear friends. Somehow, in a delicate balance, Amanda has continued to work for us and, if anything, our relationship has been strengthened by her being here nearly every day.

And this is where the story gets sad. Well, at least in some respects.

In about a month, my dear, beautiful (and still ridiculously skinny) friend will deliver her first child. A daughter. Yesterday, I had the extraordinary joy of taking her maternity photos.


As I stood behind the camera, knowing what my camera had captured of Nick and Amanda over the last two years and what was yet to come, I continually choked back tears.

While I'm thrilled for them to experience the joys, trials and overwhelming love of parenthood, I'm going to miss this girl so much.


Instead of taking care of other people's kids, she gets the joy of caring for her own child and being a stay-at-home Mommy herself.


And while I'd never want her to forsake her calling to be a wife and mother exclusively, I'm just not sure how I'm going to function throughout the week with out her smile, friendship, love and warmth walking through my door consistently every week.


I know I'll still see her all the time. I know that our kids will get to love on baby Harper regularly. Because, the truth is, Nick, Amanda and baby Harper, they're not just our friends anymore.

Over the last two years, they've become our family. Treasured family.


Amanda and I have moved from once-awkward roles to nearly like sisters. She calls me out on the things I need to be called out on and gives me access to her heart and front row seats to her life. I'm just so blessed by her.


So while my heart is sad at the changes that are to come, I know that the joy ahead is worth this momentary sorrow.


My beautiful, loving, thoughtful friend is becoming a mother. The mother she's been preparing to be her whole life. The mother that God foreknew she would be before the world was set in motion.


And I have no doubt that she will be wonderful at motherhood. Not only because of the years of practice she's had with other people's children but because of who she is.

I praise the Lord for the blessing of her and that super skinny college girl that walked into my home four years ago.

I treasure her more than she could know.

Our Savvy New Friends: Where chaos and understanding collide

Oh this blogging world, it's full of any and everything to tickle your fancy. Foodie blogs? Check. Organic, natural and no GMO foodie blogs? Double check.

Mommy blogs? Check.
Large family blogs? Check.
Small family blogs? Check.

So, imagine my surprise when about 3 years ago I stumbled across this blog. Kate and her Savvy Little Women (and one little man) have a life eerie similarity to our own.

Twins!

Picture in your mind a family with an eight year old, 2 six year olds, 2 nearly four year olds and one cute, chubby cheeked toddler.

Sound familiar?

Well, it's not The Beaver Bunch. I just described the Savvy Little Family...and, nearly our own as well. I think that internet formed friendships still have a stigma attached to them.

Only weird people who have no social skills make friends over the internet, right?

And only people who are begging to be kidnapped actually plan real life, in person meetings with people they meet on the internet, right?

From the moment I began reading Kate's blog I sat staring at the screen knowing she just got me. Someone else, in the trenches of mothering half a dozen little loves, living a creepily similar life to mine and living to tell about it.

Just last week, she wrote this post. Oh how I get that.

And on more than one occasion I've reminded myself just to Do The Next Thing.

And so many more of Kate's posts that I just don't have time to link up.

So when we planned our "vacation" west to see family and friends (and I use that term loosely because vacations usually involve toes deep in the sand or fresh mountain air and plenty of sleep and rest - and we had none of the aforementioned, thankyouverymuch).

Ahem, where was I? Oh yeah, our trip west.... it only made sense to see if there was a snowballs chance in a southern July if Kate and her crew could meet up with us. Since we're planning a departure to Kenya in January this might be our only chance for a very, very long time.

Turns out (as I'm sure you could tell from all the photos) we made it happen. And for 36 glorious hours Luke and I sat with Kate and Eric and "talked shop."

Our kids adored each other. They grouped themselves off and played to their hearts' content. I think it's not coincidence that they paired off in birth orders. It's like they knew too that families like us don't happen everyday and to embrace each other quickly.

Reese and Lucas, the 2nd born in both of our crews, hit it off

Elizabeth and Ella, sporting their new BFF bracelets

Ashlee and Charlotte (and Elizabeth), the 3rd born in each crew

Kinely and Aaron, 4th born

(It was way too hard to get pictures of Raya and Olivia. And Lincoln and Ella? FORGET IT.)

Kate was exactly what I expected from reading her blog - you know, except much taller - and we laughed like old friends well into the night.

Feeding times we're quite the spectacle. Next time, I vote we go for a feeding trough. ;)

The "big kids" enjoyed a slumber party on our second night. 7 kids piled into the floor on sleeping bags, making sweet memories and giggling until well past bed time - much to their mothers' preferences otherwise.

Sunday morning came quickly and we said tearful goodbyes to these new friends.

These people who simply, all around, get us. They understand the chaos, the brink of insanity where we live life, the mountains of dirty laundry, the endless refilling of sippy cups and snack bowls. These people who know that at the end of the day you worry whether you spent enough time with a certain child and you can't remember the last time you had a proper shower. These people who understand what it's like to be the oldest of 6 (or 7) siblings and what it means to be a twin that is the also the middle child. These people who live life in the trenches next to us, albeit several states away.

Somehow God saw fit to bring us into each others' lives through the internet and I am so very thankful that He did. I feel so bonded to my new friend Kate, through this chaos I call the everyday. I can now tell which one of her 1st set of twins is Reese and which one is Charlotte. She understands my hesitation with sharing too much on a blog and reaping the negative consequences. I get her desire to maintain order and control while I too fight the urge control every aspect of my children's lives.

And while we are each unique and different in our own God designed ways, Kate and I are beyond similar in almost every way. Luke and Eric understand the challenges they each face in fathering a brood of kids. I know there's another woman out there that I can text and simply say, "Three year olds drive me crazy" and I know she gets it, doesn't judge and will pray for me as only a mother to a posse can.

Internet friend turned real life friend. Those are words I never thought I'd type. In this big bad internet world where I am fiercely aware of the creepers and stalkers, I'm so thankful that the Lord saw fit to connect me with Kate.

Just one more family on the list that I will miss severely when we leave for Kenya. Praise God for skype. And praise God for the reassurance that I'm never, ever going through crazy, chaotic, large family life alone.

13 kids in all. Crazy, chaotic and beautiful.

Military wives must be as tough as their husbands

11 days ago I took Luke and 5 other men to the airport. Their goal? To take the gospel to the unreached people of Guinea-Bissau, West Africa.

Over the past week, the kids and I have traveled over 1,500 miles visiting friends and family in Tennessee, Mississippi and Arkansas. It was an awesome distraction and I must admit the traveling wasn't nearly as hard as the last 2 days have been with us being back at home and Luke not being here.

I knew that he did a lot for me, around the house, helping with the kids, keeping me sane... you know, normal stuff. But I guess I never realized the details.

Until he was gone, I realized that I can't remember that last time I made the coffee.

Or took out the trash.

Or had to bathe the kids all by myself, multiple times in a week.

Or fed the dog.

Or put gas in the van.

I know those are just simple things, but they are simple things I took for granted.

And, y'all, I'm blessed with incredible friends. I got so many texts this week from people reminding me that they're praying for us. Then yesterday after church I realized we only had a splash of milk left. That wouldn't bode well for us the next morning. I sent out a tweet stating our "crisis" and said maybe I'd take all 6 kids to the store with me. Within minutes I had 2 friends text me offering to bring milk over.  Then, about 10 minutes later, my awesomely amazing friend Amanda was on my doorstep, gallon of 2% in hand.

Y'all, only God designs friendships like that.

The whole week I just kept thinking (in addition to how amazing my friends are) about military wives and how they do this day in and day out for months, sometimes years, at a time.

I have a few friends that are military wives and I've always felt called to pray over them but once more God allowed me a small glimpse into their lives and I know that I need to desperately be on my knees for them as they endure the time between when their spouses leave and when they return.

Y'all I had it so easy. 11 days. That's nothing. And I had a full time helper, my friend Grace, who skipped 2 days of college and took the rest of her fall break to bless me with her help and company.

I pray that the Lord reminds me often the sacrifice military spouses make and to pray for them earnestly. I hope you'll join me and if you know the spouse of a military serviceman or woman that you'll encourage them yourself.

I'm convinced that military wives must be as tough as their husbands, if not tougher. ;)

It's just about noon here and Luke will be home in about 7 hours. I'm so ready I can hardly stand it. Dear Lord, please make this day go by quickly.

BE the church

Just wanted to hop in very quickly and ask you all BIG question...

How much are you willing to sacrifice to advance the kingdom of God?

Is it worth one meal out per month? How about two? Is it worth forgoing one shopping spree per month? How about your daily stop at Fivebucks?

Our sweet, new friends Sam and Hanna are set to leave for the field on JULY 17th!! However, Africa Inland Mission's policy is that all missionaries must be fully funded/pledged ONE MONTH before they depart. That means, by June 17th (about 3 weeks away) Sam and Hanna must be FULLY PLEDGED.

Yikes! My understanding is that they are at about 50% of their target support.

So, again I ask you...what are you willing to sacrifice to advance the kingdom of God?

One meal out per month? Two? Your non-fat double shot latte?

Can you sacrifice $50 a month? How about $100? Depending on the size of your family (or how extravagant your favorite take out place is) that's 1 or 2 meals out per month.

There's no need to stop and pray about the decision to support missions. It's Biblical. Take the step of faith and support this sweet couple. I promise you won't be sorry.

Click here to see how you can support Sam and Hanna.

And click here to read more about who these sweet people are and what they've been called to.

Don't just GO to church folks, BE the church.

A Marvelous, Ordinary Miracle

I believe that God still performs miracles, just like He has done since the first day of Creation. Unfortunately, we often mask His miracles by calling them coincidences or give all the credit to medicine or even the inexplicable.

But you all already know that I don't believe in coincidences.

So I guess it's no coincidence that I was blessed beyond my understanding to be able to photograph some of the sweetest, most humble people I know. In fact in photographing them, I got to record for them a miracle. A God breathed, completely surprising, off the charts MIRACLE.

Let me explain a little more. Almost a year ago, my sweet friend Lindy and I were preparing for the birth of Ella Joy. At the time we didn't know it was Ella but you know what I mean. And when I say "Lindy and I" I mean that Lindy and Chris were home from Kenya (were they serve as missionaries) and I had invited Lindy to be in the delivery room with us when the "baby" was born. Why?

Well, for only reasons known to God, everyone (including Lindy herself) thought that Lindy would never get to experience the miracle of birth first hand. We all thought, Lindy included, that witnessing the birth of our 6th child might be the closest she'd get to a delivery of someone that she loves. I was beyond honored to have her share this experience with us. Truthfully, honored doesn't begin to describe how I felt having her in that delivery room. I don't know that I've ever told Lindy this, but I think I will always cherish Ella's birth in an extra special way just because I got to share it with her.

(Lindy, Ella (just hours old) and a very swollen Me)

You see, from the time we became friends Lindy and I have shared a special bond. It's something beyond what I can explain, especially here on a blog, but once I began to know Lindy I was drawn to her with a deepness that my heart could not understand. I loved her so deeply and I knew from early on that our physical time together would be limited. Chris and Lindy left for Kenya just days after Aaron was placed in our home. Before that, our friendship had only boasted a mere year or two in length.

For reasons that we can only attribute to the Lord, we both believe that God has knit our hearts together in a special way. How else can you explain a friendship that deepens with each passing day yet is separated by 8,000+ miles?

So the last time Chris and Lindy were in the US, I had the privilege of sharing with her one of the most life changing events a woman can experience. Childbirth.

For all either of us knew, Lindy would not experience such a thing again. And with their impending adoption from Rwanda on the horizon, it was uncertain when they'd grace American soil again. Afterall, it was expected that by today's date, they'd be months away from meeting their newly adopted child(ren) and they'd be settling in to life at home in Kenya with one or two precious babies.

However, in the fall of last year Chris and Lindy shared with us devastating news. Their adoption from Rwanda had fallen through. This was the second time that they were on pace to adopt children and the second time that it had crumbled in their hands. These two blows to their already tender hearts was tough. Friends and family here in the US wept and prayed for them, knowing that their hearts were breaking and their arms were longing to meet their children.

It was hard to see God working as we processed why these two people, who will no doubt bring honor and glory to the name of the Father as they raise their own children, were not able to bring their babies home.

Several months back, I was skyping with Lindy and she kept complaining of a stomach virus. I thought little about it because, honestly, she lives in Africa. But the stomach virus continued and, as it turns out it wasn't a virus at all. I wondered if she had a parasite, since she'd gotten one early on in their time in Kenya. Turns out, she did!

A beautiful, glorious, energy-sucking, strong heartbeat having, God knit parasite growing right in her womb!!

God is a god of MIRACLES. He loves nothing more that to bless His children with the unthinkable joys that only His heart can create.

A year is a long time, no doubt. But I can hardly believe that a year ago this month my own abdomen was so swollen with child I could hardly move. A year ago today we all believed that Lindy and Chris were months away from returning to Kenya and proceeding with a Rwandan adoption. We all believed that God had chosen another path for them that didn't include pregnancy.

Today we believe that God is a god of miracles. He's not a god who performed miracles 2,000+ years ago and then quit. He's not a god who has changed and stopped doing the things He's said He'd do.

Nope.

He's a God if overwhelming, completely unexpected, totally mind-blowing MIRACLES! He was then and He is today, and in June He'll be a miracle delivering God all over again!

I am so excited to see what God has in store for this sweet baby growing in Lindy's womb. I have no doubt that he will be told of Christ soon and often. He will be raised to be a warrior who boldly proclaims the name of the King and who has parents who fear, love and serve the Lord with their whole hearts.

Please join me in praying for Lindy, Chris and Baby T as they spend a month here with family and friends, then return to Kenya to prepare for the birth.

Thank you Lord for this amazing miracle that we all are getting to witness. Praise you Father for working while we all have such little faith! Thank you God for this marvelous, ordinary miracle.

(Click here to see the Lindy's whole set of maternity photos.)

Advise me

So, my small group is looking for a new study. We just finished The Patriarchs by Beth Moore and OH.MY.WORD.

She.is.amazing.

I'll be honest, it takes me 2 - 3 videos to get past Beth's quirks.

(Y'all, say "Beth's quirks.")

But once I do, she blesses me in ways that I never thought possible. I think she reads my diary then writes the week's lesson just for me.

Anyway, we are about to begin another study and we have the following requirements:

* Heavy emphasis on Scripture: We don't want to just read a book loosely based on the Word and it be mostly the author's interpretation. We want it to take us back to the Scriptures time and time again.

* Something based on Marriage (and prayer, if possible to combine both): I've been told that Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas is good.

* It needs to either have an affordable video series (or one we can check out from the library) or have a discussion guide: We do better when we have an outline. Otherwise, we sit and talk about our days, our husbands, our kids, our life, sex, poop, motherhood and anything in between. Which all of those are good topics but we need some structure.

* Finally, something that's a little IN YOUR FACE: We like stuff that makes us question how's it's always been done. It makes for incredible conversation and also challenges us to see what God's Word says.

So....advise me. Please.

What studies on marriage and/or prayer have you done that we MUST DO? Give a sista some help. Thanks!

An apology

I feel like I owe you guys a deep apology.

While I was searching the "archives" for my last post, I came across this post. The sting of my words in this post made me hang my head in shame. Over the last several days, the Lord has convicted and gently spoken to me about the tone and the words of that post. And y'all, I'm just so very sorry.

While there is truth in that post, the curtness and the coldness with which I wrote was uncalled for an, truly, unacceptable.

Yes, I felt those things. But the Lord is showing me that just because I feel something, and even if it is a valid feeling, that doesn't give me the right to spew hatred and anger. While this post may not have offended you and though while my feelings and emotions were real the Lord is pressing me to rethink how I sounded. I feel very led to apologize publically, most specifically over my comments on Questions 3 & 4.

So I pray that you will accept any offense I may have given you all over this post. And maybe it didn't offend any of you and this is just another piece of humility pie the Lord is asking me to eat. He's been dealing with me deeply in the area of pride so I won't be surprised if that's the case. Either way, thank you all for receiving what I say here with a spirit of grace. Thank you for allowing me to be real, honest, blunt and open. Thank you for standing with us in prayer as we walk through difficult trials and as we've emerged stronger and more in tune with the will of God on the other side.

As we continue this journey that God has us on, I know that having you all at our side, praying for us, encouraging us and asking us tough questions will prove to be invaluable.

Thank you.

Saturday's special

On Saturday we made a fun family trip up to see someone very special. Paige is one of the students that graduated this year from our Student Ministry. She holds a very special place in the heart of everyone in our family.

Back before Luke and I ever even made the plunge into Student Ministry, Paige played the role of Dora the Explorer at Elizabeth's 3rd birthday party. Little did we know then that Paige would grow in our hearts the same as our own family. Truth is, we love all of our students equally. But our relationship with Paige is different than most of the others. Paige has consistently gone out of her way to come and visit us, make it our kids' birthday parties and just spend time with us when she could have been hanging out with other people. So naturally, we've developed a relationship with her outside of the church walls. Our kids have developed their own relationships with her. We are exponentially blessed by her on a continual basis.

The thing is, Paige allowed us to disciple her. And, it doesn't matter how eager you are to influence the life of another person if they don't choose to allow you to do so. She's invested as much in us as we've invested in her. She's proven to be an investment that we will never regret making. So it's for those reasons that Paige is special to our family and always will be.

Our girls look up to her and I couldn't be more pleased with the role model that they've chosen. And even though she's moved off to college a whole 2 hours away from us, I have a hunch will still see her on a pretty regular basis. Not only were our older 3 enamored with the fact that Paige lives at a real, live college but we had an amazing time "hiking" around at a local state park.

We did lots of running...

Lots of walking at our own pace....


Lots of shoulder riding...


Lots of chubby cheek grinning....



More than our fair share of jumping off rock walls...



We took cat naps in the stroller....


We posed everytime the camera was looking in our direction...


We allowed Luke to use the camera (which is really something special)....


We made silly faces...


And we made lots of lots of memories.

Thanks Paigey for letting us crash your Saturday. We had so much fun and we love you more than you'll ever, ever know!

A guessing game

On Saturday our family took a fun little day-long adventure to see a very special friend. Can you guess where we went? Here's a really bad hint:

Everyone had a fantastic time "hiking," laughing, jumping, running and seeing our good friend. Well, almost everyone....

If you already know then NO GUESSING. If you guess and didn't already know you'll win something special, like 697 Beaver points. Which are worth absolutely nothing except bragging rights.

Happy Monday y'all.

Youth

About 3 years ago we became friends with the folks who are now our best friends. We laughed and giggled and talked about the challenging things in life as we sat in the basement of our old house and our (mine and Luke's) kids snoozed away upstairs. Often, these friends would talk about their kids.

But the thing was, they didn't have kids. At least none that were legally theirs. In fact, they are actually several years younger than us and the kids they always clamored about were teenagers. Still, when they spoke of their kids they lit up and you could see the adoration in their faces and hear the love in their voices.

And I'll be honest. I didn't get it.

It was beyond me how two grown people could love teenagers so much. But, this was their ministry and they poured their lives into their "kids" who were really the 100ish students who make up our church's Student Ministry.

Over several months of hang out time in our basement, Luke and I saw more and more the passion these people had for their students. But, truthfully, I think we brushed it off a little. I mean, afterall, the guy was the Youth Pastor at our church for crying out loud. He got paid to hang out with teenagers. And his wife? Well, I think she could love a brick wall. She's incredibly compassionate that way.

But over the course of those months, and as we watched their affection for these students continue to grow, Luke and I became curious. I think Luke was interested way before I ever was. I mean, I HATED high school. Like, for serious hated it. I mean, at the time I didn't realize how much I loathed it but looking back, it wasn't my favorite season of life. I'm blessed by the friends I remain in contact with (which are few) but most of the memories I'd rather just push out of my head.

So how could I ever expect to love teenagers? Truth was, I couldn't. I dislike stupid drama, especially as it relates to boys or who-said-what or how "she totally is a backstabbing hussy and I can't believe I was ever her friend" then 5secondslater "ohmuhgod we're Bff's."

Yeah. It wasn't for me.

So, Mr. Youth Pastor casually (read: aggressively and persistently) coaxed us to host an upcoming youth weekend. Our former house was perfect for such an event, where 12-16 teenage girls would spend a Friday & Saturday night at our house, going in and out and doing all the things teenage girls do.

He basically sucker punched me because I think he knew (knows) that Hospitality is my spiritual gift and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE hosting people in our house. So, we said yes. And, we casually said that we'd be willing to give the whole youth department thing a try, beginning with this one discipleship weekend.

(This photo was taken that 1st discipleship weekend.)

Now, almost 3 years later my heart is so incredibly happy and sad. You see, those same students that we hosted for that long discipleship weekend are now some of my greatest friends. Even more, those same girls are all beginning college this week and my heart fills for them and breaks all in the same breath.

Needless to say, we officially became youth workers that weekend. But the truth is, over the last 3 years we've learned more about our God, more about our own walk and more about unconditional love than I ever though possible. And all FROM TEENAGERS. Wonderfully, magnificent, awesome teenagers who I now consider friends.

I know, you're probably asking how a 30 year old woman can be friends with a teenager /20something girl. Lemme just tell you, honestly...I'm not sure how that works. But it does. And nothing brings me greater joy than an evening spent with one of "our kids."

Sure we didn't birth them and legally we've not adopted any but they are still "our kids." And now I get how those friends of ours could sit in our basement and gush over teenagers. Because as our students have grown into amazing young men and women, we've watched them do glorious things for God's glory. We've watched them serve the Lord boldly in foreign countries. Giving up their summers for the glory of God. Not earning one red cent but acting in complete obedience.

We've watched them grow from an overly hyper high school sophomore (who I was going to kill if she drank ANY MORE RED BULL) into a young woman who desperately desires to know the heart of God.

We've seen their hearts get broken. We've stood in the wings and witnessed their victories. We've heard them tell us of their desires to step out of their comfort zones and allow God to provide them courage. We've laughed with them, cried with them, stayed up way too late eating chips and salsa with them. We've gotten in trouble with them. They've loved on our babies in ways that I'll never understand and, in turn, become the biggest heroes in the eyes of our children.
And, they let us act totally stupid and laugh with us rather than standing back and mocking us for the idiots that we really are. (See photos below.)


But most of all, we've grown in our faith with them. The thing that continues to amaze me is that even though they've seen us at our worst, they continue to love us. Unconditionally. We don't deserve the confidences they place in us, we aren't wise or knowledgeable enough for them to trust us with their hopes, dreams and secrets. Yet, they do.

They love us for who we are. Messy house, loud kids, imperfect ways and all. In fact, often when a teenager is here I put them to work, asking them to unload the dishwasher or hold so-and-so. I have no idea why they keep coming back. But they do and they bless me immensely each and every time.

One of my favorite memories of Kevin is when Aaron was just a small baby, maybe 4 months old. One of the big girls had a random puking episode while Kevin was visiting us. We were all gathered in the girls room when either Elizabeth or Ashlee tossed her cookies. I was holding Aaron, about to give him a bottle, and seeing the urgent need for me elsewhere I thrust Aaron into Kevin's arms and said flippantly, "Here. Feed him."

10 or so minutes later I walk into our living room and see Kevin sitting cross legged in the middle of our living room floor, cradling Aaron at about chin level and giving him his bottle. I burst into laughter and said, "Kevin, have you ever held a baby before?"

"No," he said nervously, "never."

To this day I still laugh when I think about the look that must have been on Kevin's face when I shoved Aaron in his arms and walked away. Too bad I was too busy with vomit to take note.

As as I sit here and think about the fact that the students that we just graduated are sitting in college dorm rooms right now, making new friendships and growing into adults my heart is swelling with mixed emotions.

I'm sad because I know that on Sunday mornings, I won't see their faces in my classroom anymore. I won't feel their hugs or see what they've done differently with their hair each week. Most of them won't be gracing my doorstep weekly, sitting at my kitchen table, pushing crumbs across it and avoiding eye contact because they have something serious to discuss. Several of them have moved far enough away that it will be a semester or more before I can embrace them and tell them just how much I've missed them. Truly, I won't be beside them as they walk into new territory and face hurdles that we've been preparing them to leap over.

Yet, excitement rises in my heart for them, knowing that this new life is fun, adventurous and fresh. I know that God has equipped them to live for His glory. I'm so excited to be able to watch them grow and change and mature into people doing God's work.

It's always been easy to love on these teenagers. The loving part is easy. Watching them grow and go...that's been the hardest season yet. How I hope they understand just how much I love them and just how fervently I pray over them.

Finally, as I write this I realize that maybe I never really told them just how much they taught me or how much I love them. But then I remembered. Love like this isn't something that you tell someone about one time. It's something you show them, remind them of and prove to them each time they allow you into their hearts. And I understand that they already know just exactly how I feel about them. I'd give them my right arm or the last peanut M & M. Which means I love them a whole friggin' lot.