My (Unofficial) Foster Parents

I've been thinking a lot today about the role of foster parents. Then, out of the blue, the Holy Spirit revealed to me something absolutely amazing...I HAD (unofficial) FOSTER PARENTS!!!

When I was in senior high school, my relationship with my father began to get shaky. At that time, my best friend's family accepted me into their home. Although I didn't spend copious amounts of time there, when I was there I was family. Now, I've moved 13 hours away from not only my best friend, but her family as well. And although my communication with them is limited, I have no doubt that they had a profound impact on my life. They loved me as their own, even though they didn't have to. They prayed for me as their own, even though I didn't know it. They think of me as their own, even though I'm never there. For this, Mr. Jim & Mrs. Mary, I am eternally grateful.

As Luke and I continue to journey down this path towards foster care, God continues to reveal just how he's molded, shaped and trained me for this position. Even before I was His, He knew this was the path I would choose and He prepared my heart and my mind. I am reminded of two scriptures:

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Psalm 139:13-16

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Before Christ died on the cross, for me, He knew the choices I would make. Before I was even a clump of cells, growing inside my mother's womb, He knew all of my days and all of my choices. I am continually astounded that the Creator of the Universe reveals these things to me. What a Mighty, Amazing and completely Personal God I serve!

I'm reminded of a portion of a song by Mercy Me that says:

Your love, is extravegant.
Your friendship, it is intimate.

He is extravagant. He is intimate. Thanks Mr. Jim & Mrs. Mary for playing such a profound role in my life. Though to you it might feel trivial, God knew from the beginning, and He knows even the end. I love you guys...

Mr. Jim & Mrs. Mary with Elizabeth (age 7.5 mos)

Pray for Tricia, Nate & Baby Gwyneth

I've been following the blog of The Lawrenson Family (see side bar blog). Tricia has Cystic Fibrosis and is awaiting a double lung transplant. They received a call earlier this evening and they may have a match for new lungs! Please join me in prayer for this very special family, as well as a prayer for the donor family.

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good...

Update: The lungs were "not good." That means that Tricia had to have a "dry run" which basically means she was prepped and ready for surgery, but didn't have the transplant. I'm sure it was emotional and challenging. Please continue to pray for this family, as well as the family that lost a loved one last night.

Seeing God In The Day to Day

I used to think that things could happen by coincidence. I used to think that luck was something that fell on people when they needed good fortune. I used to not know my God.

Since Luke and I have embarked on this journey of seeking out our role as Foster Parents, God has stepped into the sunlight and shown Himself to me in some pretty amazing and faithful ways. He's also shown Himself to me in the ordinary, in the things I used to think were coincidence. It is so amazing to me that the Creator of the universe desires such a deep, intimate and yet entirely friendly relationship with ME!

He has shown me how I can find His affirmation through a random person at the tomato stand. We began talking about tomatoes and within 2.5 seconds we were talking about foster care!
Coincidence?...I think not!

I have started this blogging addiction. As I peruse posts and blogs I come across countless blogs or entries about either being a foster parent or a person who was in the foster care system.
Coincidence?...I think not!

Even today, as I was getting in sneak peeks of Oprah, between rounds w/ the vacuum, He revealed affirmation to me yet again! Seal and Heidi Klum were on Oprah talking about their relationship and background. It is revealed that Seal spent time in foster care. I am sitting at the foot of my bed, watching a 44 year old Hollywood superstar crying on national television b/c Oprah and his wife have reunited him with a foster sister he hasn't seen in 40 YEARS! Once again, affirmation that we should pursue this b/c we can and will make a difference.
Coincidence?...I think not!

I urge you to look at your life. What are things that you have labeled as coincidence? Now, examine your relationship with Christ. Is He speaking to you through burning bushes and you are not giving Him your attention? I wasn't for the longest time.

I'm so glad I'm getting tuned in to my Creator and Savior. It makes my life worth living and my world so much more complete. I simply love seeing God in the day to day...

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Just thought you all (*ahem*...Amanda) would enjoy this story, courtesy of my 3.5 yr old, Elizabeth. It's pretty good.

This past week, our lovely friend Paige came over to hang out with us. As Elizabeth and I are driving her home, we pass McDonald's. Elizabeth is in the backseat and Paige and I are in the front, trying to carry on some sort of conversation. Here's how it went:

Elizabeth: "Mommy, look! McDonald's!"

Me: "Yes, honey, I see."

Elizabeth: "I love McDonald's, Mom."

Me: "You do?" (I'm curious, b/c we rarely eat McDonald's.)

Elizabeth: "Yep, it's good. You don't like McDonald's do you Momma?"

Me: "Nope."

Elizabeth: "It makes you go poo-poo a lot, huh Momma?"

Me/Paige: Hysterical laughter and the inability to breathe

Kids say the darndest things...

Fun With Hats

Some of you may already know, but I plan on Homeschooling our kids. Elizabeth and I have started some pre-school already, but Lucas and Ashlee just aren't ready to sit still and do anything for longer than 2.5 seconds. However, this past week I checked out a story bag from the library. We read several books about Hats and I think even the twins enjoyed it. Here are some photos from our story time:

Ashlee Crocket

Lucas as Gilligan


Elizabeth the Clown

Maybe I'll Use My College Degree Afterall

Foster Parent Classes, Week 4

Most people don't know this, but I was actually a Psychology Major in college. Lyon College doesn't offer a teaching major. You had to major in another area and concentrate in Education. I have always been fascinated with psychology, the way people think and child development, and I still am. Tuesday night at our Foster Parent classes, the trainers talked a lot about stages of development. Immediately, it all came flooding back. They used Erik Erikson's theory on social development, which I have seen in children of friends and family members. I also remembered Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, looked it up and it was interesting as well.

For those of you considering adoption, or foster parenting, I think you'd find these things interesting. That is my psychological advice for today. Take it or leave it.

All in all, the classes were great this week! I have often beaten myself up for running up student loans and getting this great degree, and then I don't utilize it b/c I'm at home with my kids all day. God just continues to affirm to me that I am, in fact, just where I'm suppose to be and that I truly am using the education, gifts and talents he has blessed me with. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I praise my Lord for it!!

Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow


Erik Erikson's Stages of Social Development
No, I did not draw this myself, but it was
the best I could find
http://theliterarylink.com/understanding.html

Big Boy Underwear & Big Girl Panties

Lucas and Ashlee are at that age where potty training looms over our heads. I know that we should be ambitiously striving for toilet use, but I just can't seem to muster up the energy. Luke, however, is full steam ahead. On Saturday, he decided it was time to break out the undies. Lucas has some Mickey Mouse (or as Lucas says, "Mick Mick") Big Boy Underwear and of course, Ashlee is stuck with hand-me-down Princess and/or Dora Big Girl Panties. They were each equally proud of themselves and strutted their stuff. I took lots of pics and here are some of my faves:

Ashlee with her "Bear-Bear" (who has
the nastiest ears on the planet!)


Lucas in his "Mick Mick's" with Kitty-Kitty

Ashlee, Lucas and Luke

Dentist Trips and Homemade Picasso

Yesterday I took Ashlee and Lucas to the dentist. It was their 2nd trip, but the last one was 6 months ago and they were significantly easier to manage, plus I took back-up. This time, not so lucky. Taking Luke's advice, I also took the umbrella stroller (versus the double stroller, which is bulky) so that I could restrain one while the other was getting cleaned and checked.

The first task was getting them both from the van into the dentist office. This should be a somewhat easy task considering. However, our arrival coincided with the landscapers. Lucas was way more interested in the mower than listening. I knew that holding the hand of two 22 month olds and guiding (read: pulling, dragging, carrying) both of them in w/o the use of the stroller, plus carrying the freakishly large diaper bag would be next to impossible. Therefore, I decided to put Lucas in the stroller and carry Ashlee. It worked until I also had to juggle the door. Finally, we're inside!

Next comes getting both of them back into the dentist area. At our pediatric dentist (whom I LOVE by the way) has a bay where every single chair is out in the open. Therefore, all the twins see is "stuff to climb on." Picture me, pushing an empty umbrella stroller, carrying the freakishly large diaper bag and trying to control my two people using only the sound of my voice. Not so much working.

We arrive at our chairs, and I decide to let Lucas go first since Ashlee is the world's best follower. Seriously, if Lucas jumped off a bridge, 1st she'd tell me "Bubbie did!," then she'd jump too. Follower, in every sense of the word.

All went well until Ashlee's turn. Ashlee has a tiny bit of a temper. I know...hard to believe (ha) but she does. She was not feeling the dental hygienist. A fit ensued and the battle lines were drawn. I am holding her while she begins her "crocodile death roll." The hygienist is desperately trying to look at her teeth. Lucas, meanwhile, is "riding" (read: sitting) in the stroller saying (repeatedly),

"Ashe saaaaaaad." (Ashlee's sad)

Followed quickly by,

"I onnna riiiide." (I wanna ride)

This lasted for about 15-20 minutes.

Then it was Lucas' turn (again). Ashlee is so wound up by now, she can't calm down. She's in the stroller, leaned all the way over, her forehead literally inches from the ground, screaming her guts out. Meanwhile, the rest of the dentist office is running like normal. Other kids are getting their teeth cleaned, Lucas is being a good boy. I can only imagine the horror that the kids in the waiting room are feeling. Ashlee has a tendency to exaggerate. This was no exception.

Hysterical. We made it thru the entire check up, got our bouncy balls and went on our way.

As for today, it was fairly easy going. Here are some pictures from our time with markers and stickers.

My focused little man



Her eye is blacked by marker, not bruises



Ashlee, way too close



Lucas, practicing for the dentist

My Bestest Friend In The Whole Wide World

I have the most amazing best friend. 13 years ago, we met, as sophomores in high school, and became instant friends. She proves to me that soul-mates exist. She has seen me at my best, my worst, worse than my worst and, all too many times, she's scraped me up off the floor and helped me stand up again. She's patted my back and cheered me on when I'm sailing through life. She's held my hand, cried with me and understood when no one else could.

For the last 5 years, we've lived over 700 miles apart. Even though we are separated physically, we have become closer each and every day. I am amazed that God has blessed me with such an incredible person. She challenges me, loves me and prays for me, just when I need it most. Just this morning, she sent me the best email. Even though she had no clue, I've really needed prayer lately. As I've pondered all the things God seems to be revealing to Luke and I, I've also begun to second guess some of my choices and feelings. Through her words, God affirmed that He hears the desires of my heart, He cares and He is still answering prayer. What an amazing Creator! What an amazing friend! I don't believe that I am worthy of either relationship, but I praise my Lord for the blessings I receive from both, on a daily basis...

At our High School Graduation

Almost 10 years later

For Tricia

I am joyfully accepting the challenge given by another blogging mommy. The challenge is to list all the things that I take for granted, with regard to my children. Then, the next time I do one of these tasks, I will think of Tricia, and others like her, and praise my Lord for the ability to do these things. Some of these will reference past duties.

Note: If you've not yet read about Nate, Tricia and Gwyneth, take a moment and check out their blog over in my list of faves.

Things I take for granted, when mothering my kids:

* Changing poopy diapers
* Fixing lunch, and sitting with them while they eat
* Cleaning up after a messy, but enjoyable lunch
* Hearing the squeal of "MOMMY!" when I open their door 1st thing in the morning
* Toddler jibberish
* Random hugs
* Sugar-lips
* Being able to take care of their basic needs
* Breastfeeding (from the past, but I still took it for granted)
* Giving them baths
* Stepping on cherrios
* Watching , "Go Diego, Go!" for the millionth time
* Being continuously interuppted each time I attempt an adult conversation
* Sprinting someone to the potty, before it's too late
* Wiping snotty noses
* Snotty kisses
* "Doctoring" a bloody lip
* Tickle parties
* Sneaking in at 11pm (with my husband) to watch them sleep
* Pig piles
* Belly munchins
* Uncontrollable screaming
* Always looking for "Kitty" and "Bear Bear," Lucas and Ashlee's lovies
* Piles of dirty laundry (I'm blessed they are here to make it)
* A dirty house
* Teaching Elizabeth about God, Jesus and how to love others
* Watching Lucas and Ashlee pray

These are just a handful (okay, maybe two) of the things that make my heart swell with love and joy. Sometimes, I look at my life, as a stay-at-home mom and ponder my purpose. Thanks to Tricia, this is something that crosses my mind a lot less lately. I feel so blessed to take care of these kids that call me "Momma." They give me a life with direction and heart of purpose. I love my job....do you?

$7.00

We have some incredible friends who are moving to Kenya this summer. They are selling everything, their house, cars, furnishings and going. God called and they are answering and, quite honestly, I think they are incredible. Elizabeth knows "Chris and Windy." She understands that they've already been to Africa once and that they will be going again, and staying a long time. She prays for them I think it is just precious.

Anyway, yesterday, Lindy (Windy) came by to pick up some photos she "accidentally" left at our house (I say accidentally, but again, I'm learning that our God isn't a God of chances). When she got here to pick them up, I asked to see them. They are selling them to raise money for their missions. I spread them all out on the floor and we were inspecting them. I explained to Elizabeth the reason Lindy had the pictures and told her that she was selling them so she could go tell people in Africa about Jesus. Though all of the pictures were amazing, Elizabeth particularly fell in love with 1. It was a photo of a zebra that Chris had taken. Beautifully framed, it was pure joy for Elizabeth. She immediately asked me if she could have it. I told her that it cost a lot of money ($15, but to a 3 1/2 yr old, that's a lot) and that if she would be willing to pay half with her money, I would pay for the other half.

With that, Elizabeth runs to her room and grabs her envelope full of her "Save" money. (Elizabeth does chores to earn money. She gets a maximum of $3.00 per week. She gives $1 to Church, Saves $1 and gets to put $1 in her Spend envelope.) She comes running back into the living room with a fist full of $1.00 bills. I told her that her portion of the cost is $7.00. Diligently, she counts out her money....$7.00 exactly. I explained to her that if she uses her money to buy the picture that she won't have any money left to buy the toys that she's asked for from the T.V. In a complete moment of maturity she says, "Yes, I know Mommy." She proudly hands her dollars to Lindy (who is sobbing) and takes her prized picture in her hands. She runs to her room to find a place of honor.

God amazes me that I can still learn so much from my children. It was not a coincidence that Elizabeth had exactly $7.00 saved (I didn't know how much she had when I told her I'd pay half). What an amazing heart my child has. I feel so incredibly blessed to witness these everyday miracles. God is so good.

Now, I'm wondering, have I given God my $7.00 today? Have I offered Him my all? And with complete joy, have I placed what He has given me in a place of honor? I think there are so many lessons to be learned from the heart of a 3 year old...

Check out my friend's version of the story by clicking here.

Foster Parent Classes, Week 2

Last night was the 2nd night of our Foster Parent Classes (only 8 more to go!). It was significantly better than the 1st. We did a role play and it really opened my eyes to families and children that are in the foster care system.

Of course, when the social worker asked for volunteers Luke and I offered our services. We are so shy that I know this must be a shock to you all ;). Anyway, we were given the role of the "Birth Parents." We had 2 children, ages 6 and 2. Other than an estranged sister and a brother (who later is exposed for molesting our oldest child) we have no family or support groups.

"Birth Father" is a factory worker and me, "Birth Mother" is a stay-at-home Mom. We got married right out of high school and have been together for 10 years. When Birth Father was laid off from his factory job things started going down hill. Our oldest "daughter" wanted to go the circus and when we expalined we didn't have the money, Birth Father became angry and slapped her, causing her to hit her head on the wall and have a concussion. After being investigated by social services and it being deemed it was an isolated incident, we went home from the hospital with broken spirits. Later, Birth Father became frustrated, we got into an argument and he left to go have a few drinks and cool off. On his way home, he wrecked and totaled our car and was taken to jail.

To make a long story short, Birth Mom ended up slapping the oldest child again and both kids were placed in foster care. After many more scenarios and a lot of emotion, the family was reunited and services put in place to give them stepping stones in the right direction.

I told you all of that to say this: I really think my previous thoughts of families that "needed" foster care was unfair. I typically thought that all families that lost their kids in the foster care system were not fit parents. However, after role playing the Mom in this situation, I can see how things could snow-ball out of control. I kept thinking about Lucas and Ashlee, who are almost 2 themselves, and how I would feel if something happened and they were taken from me.

It's frightening but it happens. I think God certainly used this experience to make me see that our role as foster parents is much more different that what I first envisioned. I am eager to see what else He will reveal over the next 8 weeks...

Instead of "Why Me?" I say "Why Not Me?"

We have some friends who recently had their 1st child. Let me back up... We have some friends who tried for many, many months to get pregnant. After a lot of fertility issues, they finally conceived. During her pregnancy, my friend faced quite a few issues. Although they were all relatively minor, she developed gestational diabetes and some other pesky but controllable problems. (Back to the beginning of my post, now.) Recently, this couple had their baby. He is a beautiful 7lb 3oz little boy. However, b/c she became pre-eclamptic, they induced her and as a result the baby got an infection. Now, they are having to stay in the hospital with him for a minimum of 28 days. They are taking it in stride, glorifying God that it's nothing more serious and dealing with what has been placed in front of them.

Then, there is another family. The Lawrensons (see the side link for Nate, Tricia and Baby Gwyneth). They continue to amaze me. Tricia has cystic fibrosis. Her outlook on this fatal disease is amazing. She looks at it as a way God has allowed her to reach people for Him. They recently (2 months ago) had a baby girl, Gwyneth. She was born 15+ week early and is defying odds. I am simply amazed at the strengths of these families.

My point in telling you about these families is not to depress you. I look at these folks and I wonder why they are going through these things. Granted, they do not see them as "sad" or "unfortunate." This really makes me wonder if it is because of their relationship with God, that they have been selected to endure. Is it because they have such unwaivering faith, that they have been chosen? It makes me examine my own walk with Christ. Have I fully turned my heart over to him? Have I allowed Him full access into my heart, mind and body or do I keep Him at bay, only asking His opinion when I think I'm in need.

Most people in the situations that these families (and countless others) are in would ask "Why Me?" I've never heard, or read, this from either of these folks. Which makes me ask, "Why not me, God?" Why have I not had an experience like this? Why have I been "spared?" Maybe I'm not where I need to be, with my relationship with God, to endure such things, or maybe mine is yet to come. Either way, I lift these families up in prayer daily. I pray for them to have peace, rest, guidance and to feel the warmth and love that only God can provide. I hope that you'll pray along with me...