So, are you gonna have any more?

We've been asked at least a thousand times if we wanted a big family from the beginning. In short, the answer to that is no.

For the most part, Luke and I both grew up as only children. When we were doing premarriage counseling, we only skimmed the surface of talking about the size of the family we would have. Maybe 3, I think, was the number we settled on.

But here's the problem. We went from 1 baby to 3 babies in just 2 pregnancies spaced apart by only 22 months. From double coverage to zone coverage. We never played man-to-man coverage. And the biggest problem of all?

Hello, my name is Jessica and I am addicted to newborns.

I just love everything about them. From their too-big skin, to the tiny noises they make to the way they stick their tiny little butts out when they stretch. And the head smell? Intoxicating. I read recently that there was a scientific study that confirmed that there really is a chemical reaction that occurs in women when they smell the head of a newborn. What person on earth didn't already know this was happening?

But you know what else I love? All of it. 

I love the 6 month old who belly laughs at the ridiculousness of her 8 year old sister. Because, y'all, this right here makes me want to have 8 more. I can't even handle that laugh.

The two year old with the butt cheek hanging out of her panties? I love that. The way she calls EVERY.SINGLE.BUG. a "pink bug!" (stink bug). The way she seems to grow during just one nap time and wakes up speaking in fuller sentences than she did just a couple hours ago, makes my head spin and my heart swell.

The 4 year old who is old enough to understand how to make a joke and is usually the first to laugh at their own hilarity. The 6 year old who begins to read overnight and the almost 10 year old who has her own style. I mean, those boots. That skirt. I couldn't pull that off, ever. I mean, hello, SIDE PONYTAIL.

I love it. All of it. This gig of motherhood and watching these people grow is, by far, the best thing I've ever been allowed to experience. I just knew Ella would be our last biological baby. And then, well, Abigail happened.

I just knew Abigail would be the last birth, nursing experience and toddler that would come from my womb. And, you know, EVELYN.

I'm so glad we didn't stop having babies at our predetermined number of 3. I can't imagine all the life, laughter and joy we'd have missed out on.* Yes, it's hard. It's hard a lot lately. Luke and I haven't had a date in WAY TOO LONG. Every night, I fall into bed for a couple hours before I begin the up and down that is my nighttime. I'm exhausted and tired and I would love to have a couple of hours to myself every day just to sit in silence. I think about a few years from now if we don't have any more babies and all the ways our lives would seemingly be easier. But I know that easy is a lie that Moms buy all the time. No matter how many kids you have your life as a mom is never easy.

Is Evelyn our last baby? Who knows. We've always kept the option of adoption open. I don't plan on being pregnant again. Ever. Ever.

But I've said that before. And each of those time I really meant it.

And if I watch that video of Evelyn belly laughing enough, I'll toss that idea right out the window. Or maybe not. Maybe we will stick to it and not birth anymore babies and adopt a few kids who need a large, crazy family and live out our days.

So to answer the question of all of you nosey people who ask me while standing in the grocery store people want to know, I'm sure:

Are you going to have any more babies?

Short answer. Probably not. But who knows. Because all of this, this life. It's hard. But then my almost 6 month old belly laughs and my ovaries kick into high gear and I question every oath I took during her pregnancy that I would never, ever, ever again do this. And I maybe send my husband a text about wanting a homebirth next time. So, you know, there's THAT.

I'm off to watch that video of my baby belly laughing while simultaneously taking whiffs of hot trash in our garbage dumpster so I can remember what morning sickness feels like.

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* By no means do I think that having 3 kids or less means you're missing out or that everyone should have a big, crazy, colony of kids. I'm just saying that for us, stopping at 3 wouldn't have been right.

Happy 4th Birthday Aaron!

It's a season of birthdays in our house! I remember four years ago today like it was yesterday.

Our foster parent license had been submitted to the state about 4 weeks prior and I was anxiously awaiting news that we'd been processed and were available for a placement.

The phone rang and for some reason, my heart didn't jump in anticipation like it had done every day since our license had been submitted. As I recall the conversation between myself and our social worker (you can read about that by clicking here) tears well up in my eyes. God's goodness it unbelievable.

Four years ago today our foster parent license was approved. Within a matter of hours, our sweet Aaron was born across town, unbeknownst to me.

I always think about his birth mother on his birthday. I wonder if she thinks about him, if she replays his birth in her mind like I do on our birth children's birthdays, and if she wishes she could see him. I thank God that she chose life for our precious son and I stand in awe that God allowed me the privilege of being his Mother, though he came from another woman's womb.

His laughter is infectious. He can cause our whole family to crack up with even his fake laugh. This boy is a comedian for sure. He's inquisitive and asks approximately 7,599 questions per hour.

He adores trains, big trucks and lately, killer whales.

He's got the most crystal clear blue eyes I've ever seen and they garner a lot of attention from everyone he meets. In fact, he's even started telling me, "Momma. I got boo-tee-ful bwoo eyes, don't I?" He gives fantastic bear hugs and can shower you with compliments.

He's officially a member of the "big kid" crew in our house. He dropped afternoon naps a while back and he sleeps through the night without a pull up! He and Lucas have started to really bond as the lone boys in our house and they do their part in equally protecting and alternately terrorizing our girls - the latter when they think they will get away with it! He's a lover not a fighter and loathes any food that is green - except salad.

He continues to prove to us that God can ask mighty big things of you, often stretching your desire to obey His callings on your life. However, with obedience comes heaping shovelfuls of mercy, grace and blessing.

Four years ago, we could have never guessed the blessings that this sweet boy would pour into our family. His determination, smile, laugh and humor are a constant reminder that God's plans for us are certainly better than our own. How we treasure this boy!

He's beginning to ask questions about when came out of my tummy. I gently remind him that he came from another Mommy's tummy but I am the one who God chose to be his Mommy forever. I pray that God gives us wisdom as we proceed in telling him how God wrote his story perfectly. And that one day he understands that even in the Master's perfect plan there will be pain.

Thank you Lord for this boy of ours! Happy Birthday Aaron boy! We love you so very much!

You can read about his 3rd, 2nd & 1st birthdays by clicking on those links.

Memorial Box Monday: Trusting in God's Promises

Last week, I participated in A Place Called Simplicity's Memorial Box Monday. Over the last week, I've reflected a lot on the provision of the Lord. Yet still, I am yearning to hear His voice as I have so often in the past.

Right now, I'd say I'm in the midst of a season of fear. I'm afraid we'll never get to Africa. I'm afraid we will get Africa and it be a total disaster.

So, as Luke and I prayed earlier this week, God gently reminded me that He is always faithful. He reminded me to rest in His promises and reflect on them often.

I began thinking about previous promises the Lord had given me. In February of 2009 I began journaling on a private, invitation only blog to chronicle our calling to the mission field. We hadn't made our calling public yet (Olivia wasn't even adopted yet!) so I only invited a very limited number of people to read - less than 10.

Today, as I desperately desired to remember the promises God has previously fulfilled, I knew that I needed to look no further than the archives of that private blog. The post below was originally posted to my private blog on March 2, 2009.

(I find it more than a LITTLE funny that exactly 1 year after that post we were moving into our rental that I referenced in my last Memorial Box Monday post. Oh how God is faithful!)

I know how important it is to remind myself of God's unfailing promises. As we sit now, anticipating Baby #7's arrival and our future in Africa looking impossible by human standards, I know that the Lord's promises from 2008 are not voided. His promises from over 2,000 years ago are not voided. We serve an unchanging God. And today, I delight in His faithfulness.

It was August 10th, 2008 but I remember it like it was yesterday. Aaron was 2 months old and we were still having many sleepless nights and adjusting to life with a new baby. I was still telling Luke that we had to take Aaron to big church because the nursery was too germy. As I sat in service, holding my baby boy, I listened as best I could to the sermon. Our pastor was preaching a series out of Nehemiah.

Nehemiah had been summoned to build the wall and had many people rebuke him. Everything in the book of Nehemiah screamed to Luke and I that we were doing the right thing by obediently fostering. Although we had many critics, He had called us to this task and He was providing. I was listening intently to Pastor Michael, because I knew God was speaking to us, through him.

Then it happened, something that still baffles me, something that I'd not experienced, ever. God began a conversation with me. It went something like this:

God: "I'm glad that you see that this sermon is for you. You are doing the right thing, you know?"

Me: "Yes, I know Father. Thank you for the confirmation."

God: "Did you really think this was it though? Did you think that it was JUST about fostering?"

Me: "Huh? What do you mean?"

God: "This is not the end. After you adopt him [Aaron] I have something else for your family. Something big."

Me: "What? Uh, okay."

God: "Missions. You know it's been there this whole time. Once he's adopted, the bigger task will come."

Me: "Wait! Did you just say we would adopt him?" (Yes, I know I missed the point.) "Seriously? Why are you telling me this? Why now?"

God: "You will adopt him because I needed him. He will help fulfill my purpose for your family, when you go to your next mission."

Me: (Angry) "Why him? Why not our birth children? Don't they matter too?"

God: "Settle down. Of course they matter. They matter most because it is through them that I will harvest his heart so that he may do great works for Me. Listen to his story Jessica, it screams my name."

Me: (Picturing Elizabeth and Ashlee loving on him and Lucas showing him what it means to be a brother...then TEARS.) "Okay God. Here I am."

Can I tell you that just saying that outloud is freaky? Seriously. I've known people who live in padded rooms that have more rational thoughts. However, there it is.

I hid this promise in my heart, not even telling Luke until a few months later. I was so scared to admit it. So scared that I might be wrong. So scared that all of it would not come to fruition, then where would my faith be? How do you explain that you "Heard from God" but you got it all wrong. Even still, what if Aaron doesn't do great things for God? Where does that leave me?

God promised that we would adopt Aaron. After many court dates, tears and heart wrenching encounters with birth parents, and almost 12 months to the day from that promise, Aaron was legally adopted into our family.

God called us to listen and obey and become foster parents. Then He gave us insight to our next phase in life, nearly 2 years before our calling was made public. So God, here we are.  We have not forgotten the promise. We know the assignment. But God, I'm still so fearful of  the unknown. Help me Lord, help me not be afraid.

Help me to cling to your promises even in the uncertainties of life. I know you are faithful Father. Help me to not only rest in your promises but to walk in them with confidence.

Happy 3rd Birthday Aaron!

Three years ago today, my life changed, though at the time I didn't know it. On the other side of town a piece of my heart was being delivered and I was probably casually sipping my coffee, or changing a diaper or maybe even asleep.

There's this crazy phenomenon about being an adoptive Mom.

You see, in the weeks leading up to our biological children's births, I can recount for you the happenings in our home, the trips our family took and probably even the tell you which outfits could still fit around my bulging waistline. I could tell you which positions were the most comfortable for me to sleep in and tell you every detail of the day of our biological children's birth, down to what I ate for breakfast those mornings.

But being an adoptive Mom is different. Things that come flooding back to my memory so easily in the days before our biological children were born don't come as easy for our adopted babes.

But never, EVER will I forget anxiously waiting a whole weekend knowing that Aaron was just miles away at the hospital but legally I couldn't go visit. NEVER will I forget seeing our own social worker, herself ripe with child, walk up our sidewalk next to the social services investigator who was carrying our baby in a huge infant carrier.

I'll never forget holding him that night, feeding him and wondering if his birth mother was thinking about him at that very moment. In fact, every birthday, my thoughts turn to her. I wonder if she remembers. I thank God for her and that she chose to give him life.

Our Aaron boy is a blessing in so many ways. And today, marks 3 years of me sitting in awe of the blessings God has poured out on us through obedience to His call on our family to foster and adopt.

At three years old, Aaron is constantly changing. His vocabulary has taken off and he talks all.the.time. His cute little voice just melts my heart. He's quick to say, "Pweez" and "Tanks Mom!"

His newest thing to say when he comes to me is, "I wuv you too, Mom." He's quickly outgrowing the irrationalness of a 2 year old and growing into a real, live 3 year old boy. He frequently can skip his nap and still be okay at the end of the day. He drinks from a big boy cup and has ditched the booster seat.

He's still strong willed and determined and I'm praying I don't break him of either of those traits. Instead, I pray that I will be able to direct him in the areas that require self-control and allow his steady, persistent, strong will to advance the Kingdom for the glory of God.

He LOVES cereal, all things related to trains, big trucks, his cowboys boots, Daddy, his littlest sister, Toy Story and, Nick (heavy emphasis on the CK).

(Aaron, Nick & Lucas)

He's got the brightest blue eyes I've ever seen and the best belly laugh of anyone I know. Aaron's genuine belly laugh can break through the toughest of bad moods and can crack even the most pouty of faces.

(Seriously. Those eyes! This picture is UNeditied. Can you even stand it?)

Basically, Aaron and I have found our meshing point. During his extensive stent in the I'm-so-freaking-irrational-that-your-breathing-makes-me-cry period, it was hard for me to remember tender moments during the day with my youngest son. But over the last several months, he's grown and I think I have too. I've stopped worrying so much about being right and standing my ground and I've tried to focus on the fact that my stubborn, determined boy is growing up right before my eyes and I was missing it. Blinded by frustration, I was missing the joy that this boy brings to me and our family.

His story, his life, is God's grace heaped into our laps. As I look back over the last 3 years, I realize that God has been excessively merciful with us. He's given us a child that has a story that can only reflect His glory. He's blessed us with a son who is becoming more bonded to his big brother by the day. He's given us life where there once was no hope.

He's given us a treasure that on our own we could have never gained. We pray Aaron's life will glorify the Lord on every level. What an incredible privilege we have in parenting this sweet boy. We cannot imagine for one second what our lives would be like without him!

Happy 3rd Birthday Aaron boy! We love you so, so, so much!

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To read previous posts about Aaron, specifically his birthday posts, click here and here.

**Most images courtesy of Matt Bryant Photography and PK Photography**

Urgent prayer needed!

If you don't read anything else today, read THIS.

Click here to read about a family who is in Russia attempting to adopt a sweet little boy who happens to have Down Syndrome. This would be the 1st Down Syndrome adoption in this region of Russia and the judge had denied them adoption because she said that their boy was better off in an institution rather than a family.

JUST BECAUSE HE HAS DOWN SYNDROME! Ridiculous!

Please join me today in praying for this sweet family and the other pending adoptions of Down Syndrome children in this region of Russia!

Click here for another blog that gives more information about other adoptions of children with Down Syndrome in this specific area of Russia.

Thanks friends.

Like Dandelion Dust

It's been a long time since I've blogged about fostering and adoption. Basically because we are finished with our fostering days in this house (our state has a 5 kid limit on foster homes - clearly we exceed that) and pending adoptions in our house are now final.

We are still waiting on a birth certificate and new social security card for Olivia but otherwise, she's legal in every sense of the word. In fact, it rarely ever occurs to me that Aaron and Olivia are adopted. At least until we are in public with all the kids and Olivia's adoption is obvious.

Like just today while I was loading all the kids into the van and a man who'd been sitting beside us in Chick-fil-A (where we'd just, chaotically, eaten) approached me and asked me where we adopted Olivia from. He was sincere in his questioning and it wasn't meant to be ugly or disrespectful, as sometimes people can be. When I shared with him that both Olivia and Aaron had been adopted as foster children, he said he figured as such (how, I'm not sure) and then shared with me that his own single, adult daughter was beginning the process to become a foster parent. In fact, he shared, his daughter was adopted at 4 days old.

Last night Luke and I finished watching Like Dandelion Dust. Certainly, that's the hardest we've both cried over a movie in a long, long time. I dreamed last night about our adoptions and remembered the turmoil I felt with each passing courtdate and each visit that went less than desirable.

I am watching a dear friend of mine walk through this season of fostering. Watching her heart break as birth parents are given chance after chance after chance, often when it feels as if they've been given too many chances already. How my heart aches for her and longs to tell her that it will all be okay. But people told me that stuff too and it was hard for me to hear it as well.

One thing that the movie made me realize, all over again, is that I'm very quick to vilify birth parents.

If they don't make enough of an effort? My conclusion is that they can't possibly love their child enough.

If they don't show up for visits? My conclusion is that they can't possibly make enough time for their child.

If they can't stop using the substances that made their child come into care in the first place? My conclusion is that they are so entangled in their sin that they could never show their child the glory of God.

Of course, I'd never say those things outloud (well, except for now) but the truth is I judged the birth parents of our adopted children then and in many ways, I still do. I judge them for who they aren't and the fact that they don't meet my expectations of what a parent should be for their kids. I judge them because, more than likely, they've not changed their ways.

I fully expected myself to hate Rip (the birth father) at the end of the movie. But my feelings were caught off guard and by the end, I had so much sympathy for him. Sure I was pissed that he had the audacity to take back a son that had never known him as a father, to tear a child away from the only home he'd ever known. But I kept thinking, he's not evil. He's not a villain. He just wants his boy, a boy he's never known.

And the truth is, I'm no better than the birth parents in the movie or the birth parents of Aaron or Olivia. Sure, they've made mistakes. But, hello, I live with myself every day and I know just how much I mess up. And while I'm busy heaping judgement on birth parents of my children (and of other children I know living in the foster care system or children who've been adopted) I need to step back and realize that I'm not perfect either. I don't always make enough effort. I am often so wrapped up in my own idols (substances) that I neglect my kids in some area. God convicts me of areas I need to change and, often, I refuse to make the changes.

I am so entangled in my own sin, that my children may struggle to see the glory of God because of ME.

That's a hard pill to swallow, that big 'ol pill of self-righteousness.

I'm not going to spoil the end of the movie, in case you've not seen it and want to watch, but I will tell you that I cried more in the last 10 minutes than I did throughout the rest of the movie. And, I cried a lot throughout the movie. In fact, Luke and I got started watching it late on Tuesday night and my mean 'ol husband (knowing what was best for me and that I needed sleep) made us pause it about 35 minutes in and watch the rest last night. I cried myself to sleep on Tuesday night, thinking about what I would do if social services showed up at our house and told me that there'd been an issue with Aaron or Olivia's adoption and the birth parents wanted them back.

I'll close by telling you this story. I know a woman who traveled the same journey of fostering and adoption as we did. In fact, their journey was nearly step-by-step the same as ours with Olivia. After the final court hearing where their son's birth parent's rights were completely terminated this woman, who I am blessed to call a close friend, stood outside the courthouse, wrapped her arms around her son's birth mother and cried with her. She told that mother of her desperate need for Jesus. She told her that Jesus could change her life.

A few months ago, that birth mother died, never knowing the transforming power of Christ. However, my friend cannot ever stand before the Lord and say that she didn't share the truth. Though she herself is flawed, and is the first to admit such, she knows that apart from Christ her life looks no different that that of an addiction controlled, effort lacking, glory of God hiding woman whose children have been taken from her.

She reminds me that when I look in the mirror, I too see a birth mother struggling with the tightening tentacles of sin and that judgement is just a reflection away.

Das Not Funny! Friday: A real winner

Your regularly scheduled laughs at my children's expense are being postponed this week to reveal to you my nerdiness. Reader discretion is not at all advised. Unless you have an aversion to nerds, then you might want to look away.

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Hey folks. Well, I stayed up super late just so I could draw a winner for the kikoi/iTunes giveaway. Okay not just for that. Actually, a friend and I had plans earlier this evening and I'm up because I'm still a tiny bit giddy from the little excursion we took.

If, at any time, I've ever deceived you into you thinking I was cool get ready because I'm about to blow my cover big time.

When I texted (clearly the spell check powers that be have not caught up with the coolness of 2010 because "texted" has a red squiggly line under it and I know it's a real word) my friend to confirm our plans for tonight, she texted me back saying she had to run an errand. Let me just say that when she told me where we'd be going I got a tad lot excited. This place just makes my little heart flutter for reasons totally inexplicable to me. Remember that time I was NOT Type A? Yeah. That's now.

Anyway, I know that you're just dying to know where we went, aren't you? Well, brace yourself people. Serious nerd alert.

Staples.

Yes, the office supply store.

I can't tell you how much I love going into office supply stores. My affection for them isn't something that I share freely, er....at least until now. But y'all, I love them. Something about the fresh paper, all the pens full of ink, the crisp, new folders and the stickers and post-its. Well, it's more than my little self can take.

Oh. And tonight. GET THIS. They have this new snazzy idea. There's this little station filled with fun shaped paperclips and soccer ball erasers and highlighters and large paper clips and magnets and other such fun and you get a little tub and you can put as much in as will fit and it's ONLY $5.99.

I just about peed my pants I was so excited. I may have even clapped my hands. Seriously. I dropped my container once on the counter and once on the floor. I guess my hands were a little shaky from all the excitement.

I'm totally serious.

See? I told you I'd totally ruin any coolness you ever saw within me. Who gets that excited over office supplies? Especially when THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE AN OFFICE TO SUPPLY?!

Me = total dork.

So how do office supplies relate to the winner for my kikoi/iTunes giveaway? They don't. Not one bit. But I thought you should know the truth about me. And the truth is. I'm a freako nerd. Welcome to my world.

Alright, now for a winner. Thanks to Random.org the choosing of the $15 iTunes giftcard is totally unbiased by my nerdy, office supply store loving self. There were a total of 16 eligible entries (Because not everyone knows how to follow directions...ahem). Random.org chose lucky number 1 as our winner!

Wooo hoooo Chasity!

Congrats! Email me at beaverbunch (at) gmail (d0t) com and we'll work out getting your gift card to you.

In the meantime people, enjoy your weekend. If you need me, I'll be sniffing my new erasers and sorting my new five dollar and ninety-nine cent container full of office supply goodies.

I'm totally serious.

iTunes Giveaway: Last Chance!

You have until 11:59pm EST today to enter my giveaway for the $15 iTunes gift card. All you have to do is either buy 1 (or 2) of the remaining kikois or blog, tweet or post on facebook about the kikois for sale. All the funds from the kikoi sales will help bring home orphans by supporting the adoption of my friends Chris and Lindy.

Click here for full details. Don't forget to leave a comment for EACH entry. Please leave those comments over on the original post. Thanks!

A GIVEAWAY! Strike while the iron loom is hot!

**** Final Update (7/26/10)****

All the kikois are sold! Yay! But, if that makes you super sad b/c you're just now reading HAVE NO TEARS! Lindy is sending back TWENTY more kikois for you guys! They'll still be just a measly $15 a piece and certainly just as beautiful! Check back in a week or so and I'll hopefully have them photographed and ready to go!


****New Update****

Pinky Linky is SOLD. Sorry folks!

****UPDATED****

Clearly my brain is NOT functioning correctly! I forgot to post one of the kikois! See the 1st one on the list, "Pinky Linky!" Sorry if you've already bought one and wanted a pink one! If it's not already marked "SOLD" and you want to switch, let me know ASAP!

Again, MY BAD. I'm a nerd.

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Original Post:

It's no secret that I have a heart for orphans. Well, at least I hope it's not a secret. It's also no secret that I'm all about my new favorite baby wearing product, The Kikoi (pronounced key-koy). Okay, technically it's not a product. But, it is a fabulous way to wear your baby in numerous different ways. I know there are tons of nice brands of baby wearing paraphernalia out there but what I can promise you that the other brands cannot is that these kikois are cheap and 100% of the profits go to support international adoption. The adoption of the baby(ies) of my dear friends Chris and Lindy Thompson who are currently serving as international missionaries in Kenya.

Can I just tell you that missionaries don't really make a ton any money? So, funding an adoption with little-to-no income is pretty tough. Chris and Lindy are not using ANY of their ministry funds to pay for their adoption. And, I bet if they knew I was posting this huge 'ol long blog post about their adoption they'd probably ask me not too. But, DARN IT! those are my pseudo nieces and/or nephews waiting to come home and I intend to do anything and everything I can to see them home quickly!

So, what's the point? How do orphans and kikois relate?

Glad you asked.

You see, I love, love. LOVE my kikoi that Lindy brought me back from Kenya last year. Truthbetold, I didn't really think it was that awesome until I had Ella. I mean, I used it some with Aaron...

(11 month old Aaron)

And quite a bit more with Olivia when she was littler, but still not tons.

(7 month old Olivia)

But with Ella, well, I use it ALL THE TIME. Especially when we are out and about and she's screaming like her carseat is on fire she doesn't want to sit in her infant carrier or ride in the stroller. A couple nights ago, Luke got home later than normal and I wrapped her on me while cooking and serving up dinner to my other 5 hooligans children. It's been a sanity saver for sure.

(That's a 3ish week old Ella in there.)

And, I even have some friends (including Lindy) who wear them as skirts and they are so cute! I haven't figured out how to do that yet.

Anyway, Lindy sent home to me 10 brand-spankin' new kikois this past week. And, let me tell you, I'm questioning my friendship with Lindy. I mean, these kikois she sent are SO BEAUTIFUL and vibrant. When she gifted me a kikoi did I get a beautiful, vibrant kikoi?

No. I got puce green. Thanks Sista. Thanks a lot.

Not sure how to use a kikoi? Click here for a sorta informational video. Of course, I use the term informational loosely. Very loosely.

At any rate, you can purchase these fabulous kikois for a mere $15. They measure approximately (and I say approximate b/c I only measured 1 and they are hand made so they could vary by an inch or so) 39 inches wide by 65 inches long. For you seamstresses that would make them almost 1 yard wide by almost 2 yards long. (Obviously, I'm a math genius.)

Here's what I have for sale for $15 a piece (that's so cheap it should be a crime). Three guesses on who helped me "name" them.

******Pinky Linky is SOLD.******

******Ralphie is SOLD.******

*****Sherbert is SOLD.******

******Callie Pink is SOLD.******

******Earl Grey is SOLD.******

*****Seablanket is SOLD.******

******Greeny Beany is SOLD.******

****** Yellow John is SOLD.******

******Yellow John 2 is SOLD.******

******Elizabeth Ashlee is SOLD.******
(Not my Elizabeth or Ashlee. Just the kikoi.
You know, just to clarify, in case you were curious.)

(Please pay no attention to the circular blobs in the middle of each photo. Apparently, when you have dust in your nice, new camera, removing said dust by blowing into your camera with your mouth is not the best idea. Slobber can get on your sensor. Clearly, I'm a genius.)

Purdy, ain't they? But please, don't just take my word for how marvelous they are. Here are some friends of mine who have and use kikois. They are the real experts. Or not.

Here's what my BFF Amanda had to say about her kikoi:

I love, love, love my kikoi! I have to admit that when Jessica told me that she got one for me I completely underestimated it. "It's just a simple sling. How great could it be?" I had already gotten a Baby Bjorn and thought that was the be-all, end-all in baby carriers. I quickly learned otherwise!

I have used the kikoi since Annabelle was born. Even now, this 16-pound, 9-month-old loves to sit in her comfy red sling. I love it because it is versatile. She can ride sitting up or lay flat for some of the best naps she has ever taken. I also love it because it is portable. I just cram it into the diaper bag with everything else. Mostly, I love it because it is simple. It takes two people to get a newborn into one of those carriers with straps and buckles everywhere like the Baby Bjorn (which costs $70). I just leave the kikoi tied all the time, throw the baby on my hip, slide it over both of our heads, and she's ready to go. She literally starts shaking and grunting with excitement when she sees me grab it. Don't let the simplicity fool you. It's my favorite sling and I use nothing else!

(Amanda and her daughter Annabelle,
who was almost brand new at the time)

Also, my bloggy friend Tia bought one not too long ago and wrote me this,

I found out about the kikoi through my super sweet and awesome bloggy friend. It looked simple, easy and like it didn't take much effort. That is exactly what I needed for my chunky baby since she has a very very active two year old sister. Once I received my kikoi in the mail I was a little confused about how it was supposed to feel while carrying my large load of a baby. I watched Jess's informative videos on it and once I gave it another try I was hooked. I use my kikoi while grocery shopping, during family outings, while cooking dinner and pretty much anytime carrying my baby is needed. I've even found ways to use it while not carrying her. When I have her in the umbrella type stroller (without the umbrella) I just slide it over the handles (while still tied-knot on backside of stroller) and let it fall over the baby. It's loose enough to keep her from getting hot but it keeps the sun off of her sweet baby skin...and when the wind is blowing too hard I just pull it up over her head. And the other day I figured out that if I get tired of carrying her I can put her in the grocery basket, strap her in and then slide the wrap over her body and around the shopping cart seat (knot on back of seat) and it will keep her from falling over :-). We REALLY love our kikoi! I think you need one too.

(Tia and her daughter Isabelle)

After reading all of that don't you want to support adoption and buy one of these beautiful pieces of fabric?

Here's what you should do. Email me at beaverbunch (at) gmail (dot) com and tell me which one you like. (You can find the name of each one in the photo. Click to enlarge if you need to.) I will email you instructions on how to pay and once your payment is received I will ship it to you! Easy peasy!

Now, for the giveaway part.

I will randomly give away one $15.00 iTunes gift card to someone who either purchases or promotes the purchase of a kikoi. Don't want a kikoi, but want in on the giveaway action? No problemo! Here are some additional ways you can enter to win the iTunes gift card.

* Twitter about this post, linking this post's URL in your tweet. (You can obtain this post's URL by clicking on the post title and then looking at the web address in your address bar.)

* Facebook about this post, linking this post's URL in your status.

* Blog about this post, linking to this post's URL in your blog post.

Please leave one comment for each entry. You can create an entry for each option available. For example, if you buy a kikoi leave a comment saying, "I bought one" or something. Then, if you also twitter about this post, leave a separate comment saying "I tweeted! Here's the link to my tweet: http://...." If you additionally facebook about the giveaway, then leave yet a 3rd comment saying such and leaving a link to your facebook post.

You get the idea. I will use Random.org to randomly choose ONE winner for the iTunes gift card and send it to you via your email address. Entries for the giveaway must be submitted by 11:59pm EST on Thursday, July 22, 2010. The kikois will be available until all are sold.

So, buy a kikoi or spread the word and let's un-orphan a few more babies and decrease the 147 million orphans world-wide one family at a time. Whatta ya say?

Happy Birthday Aaron!

Two. Two years ago yesterday our lives changed forever. As we went about our normal day, just minutes down the road our sweet boy was taking his first breaths, unbeknown to us. Yes, our lives changed that very day even though we had no clue they were changing.

How we thank God for Aaron's life. As a step of obedience to God's calling on our life, we chose to pursue foster care for our family. Aaron (and his little sister Olivia) are God's greatest rewards for our choice of obedience. And even though somedays life with two toddlers (and 4 other kids) is chaotic and a struggle, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Aaron,

At two years old you are a fiercely independent little man. You prefer to play alone most of the time even though you want to know what everyone else is doing. You like all starchy foods and defy most everything else put on your plate. You have the sweetest laugh and your chuckles tend to get everyone else vying for your attention to see who can cause the most belly laughs in a row.

You love to climb on anything that will allow you. You live to ride on our battery powered cars for hours on end. You love all things to do with animals, especially fish. You are sweet on your littlest sister and love to give her kisses over and over and over again. You can jump and get both of your chubby little feet completely off the floor and you adore wearing shoes, particularly your boots. And, you continue to give the best, most snuggly hugs of anyone.

We love you so much sweet Aaron boy. And though your independence and strong determination continually challenge us as parents, we can't imagine our family without you. We pray that God will use your story of adoption and redemption for His glory. We pray that your life is devoted to Christ and you love Him with the fierceness and determination that you live the rest of your life. I love you so much sweet boy, so much more than my words on a page could ever express.

With all my heart,

Mommy

10K in 20 days (or less now..)

When I first read "10K in 20 days" I thought my blog-friend Courtney was speaking of running.

But she wasn't.

See what she's up to by clicking here. I sure wish I could make the time RIGHT NOW to express to you just how important I feel it is to support adoptions.

But, it's almost 4:30pm and my people are waking up from naps and we have a gymnastics "performance" tonight that I must prepare my little gymnasts for. And, I still haven't showered today.

Please, please, please, go here and see how you can help bring 26+ orphans home to their forever families.

Surely you can spare $5 today to help change the course of a child's life.

Thanks friends.

Bound by birth, Adopted with love

God orchestrates all things for His glory for those who love Him. Did you know that? I had read it right here before but it never really hit me exactly how it worked until many months after we had taken Aaron as our first placement as his foster parents. You see, shortly after the phone call we received informing us of Aaron's birth and, additionally, asking us of we'd be willing to take him into our home, I was on the phone with another woman who cared deeply about our sweet Aaron.

She was not someone from the Department of Social Services (DSS) office. She was not his birth mother. However, she cared deeply for him even though she'd never met him.

I remember sitting there at our table, listening to her voice through my phone, not totally understanding what was about to happen. I remember wondering what her role in his life would be, what it could have been, if only circumstances had been different.

You see this woman, who told me how much she loved our new little baby, had a very special connection to him.

She is the mother of Aaron's biological brothers.

She had walked the road that we were about to journey down. She had the dirt and blisters on her feet and sweat and blood on her brow from miles of walking a road that is tough and not for the faint at heart. She and her husband knew what it meant to love someone as your own flesh when they come from the womb of another woman.

And although much of Aaron's story is for him to tell and not me, I wanted to share with you all a very special relationship that our family is forming with some very special people.

These two precious boys share the same birth parents as our sweet Aaron. "N" and "C" are so sweet and all boy, just like our Aaron. They share similar features, like their bright blue eyes and a sweet, round nose. In fact, when their Mom "S" shared some of N and C's baby photos with me, it was like looking at photos of our Aaron, except with double vision!

And one day, they will share in being told the same story. The story of entering into foster care for reasons privileged only to them. The story of being placed into the arms of a mother who grew them in her heart, rather than her womb. The story of being loved, unconditionally, even though they didn't belong to this new family by birth.

The story of Mr. T and Mrs. S desiring to begin their boys' relationship with our son early on, when Aaron and N and C were only tiny babies.

(This is Aaron, at 2 months old, with N and C who were 14 months.)

The story of love, that brought them from what could have been to what truly is. Currently, we enjoy a loving relationship and special bond with N and C's family. They have kept Aaron on several occasions, even overnight. Both Mr. T and Mrs. S, as well as Luke and myself, desire for our boys to know that they are brothers.

This special relationship, we pray, will help them understand their unique situations as they grow older. And, as they one day struggle to understand the circumstances with their birth parents, we pray that having each other will help. We pray that growing up more than just birth siblings, but as friends, they will be able to identify with someone who comes from where they come from.

And ultimately, my prayer is that each of them will be able to cling to the One who provided a way for us all to be adopted, even when they are uncertain about the reasons for their worldly adoption.


This is what is unique about adopting a child through our local foster care agency (or in our case, our county's DSS). Often, ties with birth family is available. For us, being adoptive parents isn't about cutting them off from their birth family. It isn't about alienating them from who they are by birth.

However, they did come into foster care for a reason. Unfortunately, and all to often, those reasons prohibit us from feeling like there is a safe way for them to interact with birth family. In Aaron's case these boys, his birth brothers, are in a safe and loving home where spending time with them is not only possible but pleasurable. Mr. T and Mrs. S love Aaron so very much and it is evident on their faces each time they see him. Likewise, we adore N and C, although our time with them is much more sparse right now (due to the needs of our other children, we don't get 1 on 1 time - or 1 on 2 time - like we'd enjoy).

For neither of our fostered/adopted children, a relationship with their birth parents is not healthy or possible at this time in their lives. But, we when the time comes that they ask questions, we will not lie. Truth will prevail in our answers about their past. And while we will have to reveal things to them that will surely break their hearts and make them question their value, we pray that they will find their answer right in front of them.

We love them. God loves them.

For Olivia, having a relationship with birth family is proving more difficult. We wanted to wait until her adoption was final before pursuing those relationships. Now that her adoption is legal, we plan on beginning that process so that she may begin forming relationships with stable members of her birth family.

These are new waters for us to navigate, this balance between birth family and our family. But, we feel confident that the Lord placed these children into our home for a purpose. He placed them here for His purpose. And our desires are to allow our adopted children as much interaction with birth family that is safe. We feel blessed to have such with Aaron's birth brothers. For Olivia it will be new ground that we will walk on lightly, with our eyes prayerfully fixed on the One who knew all of this before the creation of the world.

There's nothing like having a twin

There have been times when people questioned why we wanted to foster and then adopt.

And other times that they questioned why we would take two more children, so close in age, when we already had our "own" kids.

Some have questioned how these two little ones would feel, having a sibling with a birthday so close to theirs.

And it's true that they have to share a lot of toys, share a lot of Mommy's lap, share a lot of their time, share their snacks and often their socks and shoes.

But I think that when they are able to talk and articulate themselves clearly...


...they will be able to tell you...

...that there's nothing like having a "twin."

(A special thanks to my friend Paige who took all these photos! Thanks, Paige!)