I'm ready to go home

**I want to preface this by saying that I thought I'd get more into the stories of our trip in this post. As I began writing, something different emerged. I pray you will take what I write and digest it. I know speaking of the spiritual realm is often controversial. I fully intend to share with you some profound stories of how God moved mightily, reiterating the Spirit working as I share below. For more about our trip to Guinea-Bissau, check out my friend Wendi's blog.**

I thought when the time came to sit and begin writing about my trip to Guinea-Bissau that the words would come free and smooth. But the truth is, as I sit here to write I'm spending more time watching the cursor blink than I am moving my fingers. In fact, I've opened this post at least 4 times before adding anything of substance to it's context.

How does one try to express deep truth in mere words?

How do I convey to you all that I experienced when we live in a world that is so drastically different?

How can I describe the supernatural as I experienced it and the ways that God revealed to me things beyond what I ever knew to exist?

Honestly, I can't. But I'm sure gonna try.

You see the thing about Africa, for me, is this:

I've known for a long time that it would feel like home.

I've felt so called there, so drawn to her people, so eager to see the sights, smell the smells and feel the heat on my skin. But, even though I'd never before graced African soil part of me knew what it would be like. I didn't have much culture shock on our trip. Yes, things were certainly different from how they are here but none of it really shocked me because I was familiar with what to expect.

And what I'm about to tell you is either gonna cause you think I'm completely insane or confirm what you already know about God and His Spirit.

I fully believe the Lord revealed much of Africa to me in dreams, desires and thoughts before I ever even left. I think He has been for years. I think He has so deeply rooted the things of Africa in my soul that being there only served to confirm what I already knew to be true.

Several times I would be in a situation - standing in the market, sitting with my feet in the dirt, holding the hand of a child - and I just knew it was suppose to be familiar. Different that deja vu, and not quite the familiarity of something I'd seen in pictures. Something more. Something certain, like the Lord was saying, "See, I told you about this. You've been here before."

Y'all, God had given me those emotions, those feelings, down to the feeling of the dirt on my skin, before I ever even left.

As a Western culture, we are quick to claim that God is the God of the Bible (especially when we want to see His power work favorably for us). But we dismiss the supernatural, the Spirit realm so quickly. Or, if we take stock in any of it, we water it down so much that it makes it more digestible for our weak spiritual stomachs.

The Father sent His Spirit to counsel, direct, lead us and declare truth. (John 16:13-15) I fully believe that when God is preparing us to join Him in a great work, He desires to prepare our hearts and souls through His Spirit.

Have I lost you? Do you think I'm a giant freak show now?

Why is it okay for Cinderella to say, "A dream is a wish your heart makes" but for a Christian to say, "The Spirit revealed to me truth about the Father's will" is taboo? Granted, we do not need to be declaring false truths (1 John 4:1), but the Spirit does reveal truth. He desires to reveal Himself to us in a bold, radical way but I believe that as Westerners we are too afraid to breech the Spiritual realm for fear of what others will think of us. Or maybe we're too afraid of what we'll experience. Or maybe we just don't care about God enough to live outside our comfort zone and declare the word of the Lord boldly.

I can say that at one point in my life I fit all three of those descriptions. Today I sit on the other side. This post didn't turn out to be at all what I intended but nonetheless it was what is in my heart, waiting to be spilled out.

Has following God's call to join Him in Africa cost me? YES.

Family relationships have been strained, some only hanging on by a thread. Friendships have been terminated. Our faith has been stretched. Our lives mocked. We've sold the house I thought I'd live in forever. We've sacrificed comfort and we will again.

But I can assure you one thing.

Just like the people of Africa, our lives are beautiful.

God has chosen our family (for some reason I will never be able to fully grasp) to take His truth to the unreached people of Africa. And I believe that long before my trip to Guinea-Bissau God has taken us there in spirit, thoughts, dreams and desires.

As I reflect on all that I saw, experienced, felt and lived I can say without hesitation one undeniable truth: Africa feels like home.

Y'all, I'm ready to go home.