He perceives my thoughts from afar

Usually I blog in the evenings and schedule it to post the next day. But lately, I fall into the bed at night, exhausted from the day and pelvic pressure that seems to be unending. So in a effort to update my blog and have some free therapy, here I am blogging during nap time when I should be napping as well.

This week has been extremely tiring and it's only Tuesday. I have apparently lost my voice due to some mystery cold. Actually, I have a voice but it resembles that of a 98 year old who's been chain smoking since birth. I spoke with our realtor on Thursday and he alluded that it might be possible that we wouldn't close on our house on time. Therefore, we could push closing from March 3rd to the first week in April.

I was a little happy about that considering my due date is March 8th.

But, as of today it seems as if closing will be right on schedule (maybe a day or so late) and we will, in fact, be holding our breath hoping that Baby #6 doesn't come on the day we are moving all of our stuff.

Speaking of moving, we have found a place to rent. It's about 200 yards from our current home so that SHOULD make moving much, much easier. The biggest catch is that the house we are moving to is about 1/2 the size of the one we are currently living in. Which means that we need to find somewhere for 1/2 of our stuff to go.

And I'm NOT all about storing our crap for no apparent reason. So, we have a basement full of furniture and toys and books and children's clothing that needs to go somewhere. My biggest frustration is deciding what to keep, what to toss and what to just give away. I have two amazing friends that gave up their Mother's Morning Out time last week and came to my house and helped me pack up and sort through most of our basement. Can I just tell you how relieved I feel?

Yet, when I sit back and look at what the next 30 days of our life here is what I see...

> A new baby
> A new house
> Moving and sorting all our stuff
> Deciding what is worth keeping and what is not
> Finding the essential baby items once they've been moved to a new place
> Making large purchases
> Discerning between a good choice and the best choice
> Still finding time to spend alone with God
> Still managing my home and our children
> Still schooling Elizabeth

Oh and did I mention we are having a Baby somewhere in all of this?

And we filed our taxes and there was a problem so we had to send in a paper return which means we will probably get audited. AGAIN. JUST LIKE LAST YEAR.

I am praying for God to give me clarity to see what He wants me to learn through this process. And I am reminding myself that NONE of this is a surprise to Him. He knew this would all be on our plate at the same time. He knows when Baby is coming even though I have no clue.

A while back Angie challenged her readers to memorize Psalm 139. I made it about half way through. But, the half I vaguely memorized keeps flooding back into my mind.

"O Lord you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise.
You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all of my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue,
you know it completely Lord.
You hem me in, behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me."

Psalm 139:1-5

He knows how well I function on little-to-no-sleep because He has searched me and knows me.

He knows that this will either make my marriage stronger or cause us to distance ourselves from each other because He knows when I sit and when I rise.

He perceives my thoughts from afar. (That part just baffles me.)

He knows. I don't. And, somehow I need to make up my mind that I'm okay with that and just let go of the things I have no control over and just trust Him.

I love that He brings opportunity for me to see that He knows me better than I know myself. Like yesterday, when Elizabeth is frantically searching for a specific sticker book and I see her, from afar, doing the pee pee dance.

I say to her, gently, "Elizabeth. Please go to the bathroom before you have an accident."

"But Mom!" she stammers, "I don't need to go!"

"Really? You sure look like you do," I reply softly, not wanting to hurt her tender feelings.

She turns and sprints to the bathroom, barely making it to the potty.

He knows me. When I sit and I rise He sees me. He perceives my thoughts, desires and needs from afar. He knows when I'm on the verge of having an accident and He gently urges me in the right direction before my tender heart gets broken and the waves of uncertainty cloud my mind.