Happy 4th Birthday Aaron!

It's a season of birthdays in our house! I remember four years ago today like it was yesterday.

Our foster parent license had been submitted to the state about 4 weeks prior and I was anxiously awaiting news that we'd been processed and were available for a placement.

The phone rang and for some reason, my heart didn't jump in anticipation like it had done every day since our license had been submitted. As I recall the conversation between myself and our social worker (you can read about that by clicking here) tears well up in my eyes. God's goodness it unbelievable.

Four years ago today our foster parent license was approved. Within a matter of hours, our sweet Aaron was born across town, unbeknownst to me.

I always think about his birth mother on his birthday. I wonder if she thinks about him, if she replays his birth in her mind like I do on our birth children's birthdays, and if she wishes she could see him. I thank God that she chose life for our precious son and I stand in awe that God allowed me the privilege of being his Mother, though he came from another woman's womb.

His laughter is infectious. He can cause our whole family to crack up with even his fake laugh. This boy is a comedian for sure. He's inquisitive and asks approximately 7,599 questions per hour.

He adores trains, big trucks and lately, killer whales.

He's got the most crystal clear blue eyes I've ever seen and they garner a lot of attention from everyone he meets. In fact, he's even started telling me, "Momma. I got boo-tee-ful bwoo eyes, don't I?" He gives fantastic bear hugs and can shower you with compliments.

He's officially a member of the "big kid" crew in our house. He dropped afternoon naps a while back and he sleeps through the night without a pull up! He and Lucas have started to really bond as the lone boys in our house and they do their part in equally protecting and alternately terrorizing our girls - the latter when they think they will get away with it! He's a lover not a fighter and loathes any food that is green - except salad.

He continues to prove to us that God can ask mighty big things of you, often stretching your desire to obey His callings on your life. However, with obedience comes heaping shovelfuls of mercy, grace and blessing.

Four years ago, we could have never guessed the blessings that this sweet boy would pour into our family. His determination, smile, laugh and humor are a constant reminder that God's plans for us are certainly better than our own. How we treasure this boy!

He's beginning to ask questions about when came out of my tummy. I gently remind him that he came from another Mommy's tummy but I am the one who God chose to be his Mommy forever. I pray that God gives us wisdom as we proceed in telling him how God wrote his story perfectly. And that one day he understands that even in the Master's perfect plan there will be pain.

Thank you Lord for this boy of ours! Happy Birthday Aaron boy! We love you so very much!

You can read about his 3rd, 2nd & 1st birthdays by clicking on those links.

Memorial Box Monday: Trusting in God's Promises

Last week, I participated in A Place Called Simplicity's Memorial Box Monday. Over the last week, I've reflected a lot on the provision of the Lord. Yet still, I am yearning to hear His voice as I have so often in the past.

Right now, I'd say I'm in the midst of a season of fear. I'm afraid we'll never get to Africa. I'm afraid we will get Africa and it be a total disaster.

So, as Luke and I prayed earlier this week, God gently reminded me that He is always faithful. He reminded me to rest in His promises and reflect on them often.

I began thinking about previous promises the Lord had given me. In February of 2009 I began journaling on a private, invitation only blog to chronicle our calling to the mission field. We hadn't made our calling public yet (Olivia wasn't even adopted yet!) so I only invited a very limited number of people to read - less than 10.

Today, as I desperately desired to remember the promises God has previously fulfilled, I knew that I needed to look no further than the archives of that private blog. The post below was originally posted to my private blog on March 2, 2009.

(I find it more than a LITTLE funny that exactly 1 year after that post we were moving into our rental that I referenced in my last Memorial Box Monday post. Oh how God is faithful!)

I know how important it is to remind myself of God's unfailing promises. As we sit now, anticipating Baby #7's arrival and our future in Africa looking impossible by human standards, I know that the Lord's promises from 2008 are not voided. His promises from over 2,000 years ago are not voided. We serve an unchanging God. And today, I delight in His faithfulness.

It was August 10th, 2008 but I remember it like it was yesterday. Aaron was 2 months old and we were still having many sleepless nights and adjusting to life with a new baby. I was still telling Luke that we had to take Aaron to big church because the nursery was too germy. As I sat in service, holding my baby boy, I listened as best I could to the sermon. Our pastor was preaching a series out of Nehemiah.

Nehemiah had been summoned to build the wall and had many people rebuke him. Everything in the book of Nehemiah screamed to Luke and I that we were doing the right thing by obediently fostering. Although we had many critics, He had called us to this task and He was providing. I was listening intently to Pastor Michael, because I knew God was speaking to us, through him.

Then it happened, something that still baffles me, something that I'd not experienced, ever. God began a conversation with me. It went something like this:

God: "I'm glad that you see that this sermon is for you. You are doing the right thing, you know?"

Me: "Yes, I know Father. Thank you for the confirmation."

God: "Did you really think this was it though? Did you think that it was JUST about fostering?"

Me: "Huh? What do you mean?"

God: "This is not the end. After you adopt him [Aaron] I have something else for your family. Something big."

Me: "What? Uh, okay."

God: "Missions. You know it's been there this whole time. Once he's adopted, the bigger task will come."

Me: "Wait! Did you just say we would adopt him?" (Yes, I know I missed the point.) "Seriously? Why are you telling me this? Why now?"

God: "You will adopt him because I needed him. He will help fulfill my purpose for your family, when you go to your next mission."

Me: (Angry) "Why him? Why not our birth children? Don't they matter too?"

God: "Settle down. Of course they matter. They matter most because it is through them that I will harvest his heart so that he may do great works for Me. Listen to his story Jessica, it screams my name."

Me: (Picturing Elizabeth and Ashlee loving on him and Lucas showing him what it means to be a brother...then TEARS.) "Okay God. Here I am."

Can I tell you that just saying that outloud is freaky? Seriously. I've known people who live in padded rooms that have more rational thoughts. However, there it is.

I hid this promise in my heart, not even telling Luke until a few months later. I was so scared to admit it. So scared that I might be wrong. So scared that all of it would not come to fruition, then where would my faith be? How do you explain that you "Heard from God" but you got it all wrong. Even still, what if Aaron doesn't do great things for God? Where does that leave me?

God promised that we would adopt Aaron. After many court dates, tears and heart wrenching encounters with birth parents, and almost 12 months to the day from that promise, Aaron was legally adopted into our family.

God called us to listen and obey and become foster parents. Then He gave us insight to our next phase in life, nearly 2 years before our calling was made public. So God, here we are.  We have not forgotten the promise. We know the assignment. But God, I'm still so fearful of  the unknown. Help me Lord, help me not be afraid.

Help me to cling to your promises even in the uncertainties of life. I know you are faithful Father. Help me to not only rest in your promises but to walk in them with confidence.

Happy 3rd Birthday Aaron!

Three years ago today, my life changed, though at the time I didn't know it. On the other side of town a piece of my heart was being delivered and I was probably casually sipping my coffee, or changing a diaper or maybe even asleep.

There's this crazy phenomenon about being an adoptive Mom.

You see, in the weeks leading up to our biological children's births, I can recount for you the happenings in our home, the trips our family took and probably even the tell you which outfits could still fit around my bulging waistline. I could tell you which positions were the most comfortable for me to sleep in and tell you every detail of the day of our biological children's birth, down to what I ate for breakfast those mornings.

But being an adoptive Mom is different. Things that come flooding back to my memory so easily in the days before our biological children were born don't come as easy for our adopted babes.

But never, EVER will I forget anxiously waiting a whole weekend knowing that Aaron was just miles away at the hospital but legally I couldn't go visit. NEVER will I forget seeing our own social worker, herself ripe with child, walk up our sidewalk next to the social services investigator who was carrying our baby in a huge infant carrier.

I'll never forget holding him that night, feeding him and wondering if his birth mother was thinking about him at that very moment. In fact, every birthday, my thoughts turn to her. I wonder if she remembers. I thank God for her and that she chose to give him life.

Our Aaron boy is a blessing in so many ways. And today, marks 3 years of me sitting in awe of the blessings God has poured out on us through obedience to His call on our family to foster and adopt.

At three years old, Aaron is constantly changing. His vocabulary has taken off and he talks all.the.time. His cute little voice just melts my heart. He's quick to say, "Pweez" and "Tanks Mom!"

His newest thing to say when he comes to me is, "I wuv you too, Mom." He's quickly outgrowing the irrationalness of a 2 year old and growing into a real, live 3 year old boy. He frequently can skip his nap and still be okay at the end of the day. He drinks from a big boy cup and has ditched the booster seat.

He's still strong willed and determined and I'm praying I don't break him of either of those traits. Instead, I pray that I will be able to direct him in the areas that require self-control and allow his steady, persistent, strong will to advance the Kingdom for the glory of God.

He LOVES cereal, all things related to trains, big trucks, his cowboys boots, Daddy, his littlest sister, Toy Story and, Nick (heavy emphasis on the CK).

(Aaron, Nick & Lucas)

He's got the brightest blue eyes I've ever seen and the best belly laugh of anyone I know. Aaron's genuine belly laugh can break through the toughest of bad moods and can crack even the most pouty of faces.

(Seriously. Those eyes! This picture is UNeditied. Can you even stand it?)

Basically, Aaron and I have found our meshing point. During his extensive stent in the I'm-so-freaking-irrational-that-your-breathing-makes-me-cry period, it was hard for me to remember tender moments during the day with my youngest son. But over the last several months, he's grown and I think I have too. I've stopped worrying so much about being right and standing my ground and I've tried to focus on the fact that my stubborn, determined boy is growing up right before my eyes and I was missing it. Blinded by frustration, I was missing the joy that this boy brings to me and our family.

His story, his life, is God's grace heaped into our laps. As I look back over the last 3 years, I realize that God has been excessively merciful with us. He's given us a child that has a story that can only reflect His glory. He's blessed us with a son who is becoming more bonded to his big brother by the day. He's given us life where there once was no hope.

He's given us a treasure that on our own we could have never gained. We pray Aaron's life will glorify the Lord on every level. What an incredible privilege we have in parenting this sweet boy. We cannot imagine for one second what our lives would be like without him!

Happy 3rd Birthday Aaron boy! We love you so, so, so much!

-------

To read previous posts about Aaron, specifically his birthday posts, click here and here.

**Most images courtesy of Matt Bryant Photography and PK Photography**

Like Dandelion Dust

It's been a long time since I've blogged about fostering and adoption. Basically because we are finished with our fostering days in this house (our state has a 5 kid limit on foster homes - clearly we exceed that) and pending adoptions in our house are now final.

We are still waiting on a birth certificate and new social security card for Olivia but otherwise, she's legal in every sense of the word. In fact, it rarely ever occurs to me that Aaron and Olivia are adopted. At least until we are in public with all the kids and Olivia's adoption is obvious.

Like just today while I was loading all the kids into the van and a man who'd been sitting beside us in Chick-fil-A (where we'd just, chaotically, eaten) approached me and asked me where we adopted Olivia from. He was sincere in his questioning and it wasn't meant to be ugly or disrespectful, as sometimes people can be. When I shared with him that both Olivia and Aaron had been adopted as foster children, he said he figured as such (how, I'm not sure) and then shared with me that his own single, adult daughter was beginning the process to become a foster parent. In fact, he shared, his daughter was adopted at 4 days old.

Last night Luke and I finished watching Like Dandelion Dust. Certainly, that's the hardest we've both cried over a movie in a long, long time. I dreamed last night about our adoptions and remembered the turmoil I felt with each passing courtdate and each visit that went less than desirable.

I am watching a dear friend of mine walk through this season of fostering. Watching her heart break as birth parents are given chance after chance after chance, often when it feels as if they've been given too many chances already. How my heart aches for her and longs to tell her that it will all be okay. But people told me that stuff too and it was hard for me to hear it as well.

One thing that the movie made me realize, all over again, is that I'm very quick to vilify birth parents.

If they don't make enough of an effort? My conclusion is that they can't possibly love their child enough.

If they don't show up for visits? My conclusion is that they can't possibly make enough time for their child.

If they can't stop using the substances that made their child come into care in the first place? My conclusion is that they are so entangled in their sin that they could never show their child the glory of God.

Of course, I'd never say those things outloud (well, except for now) but the truth is I judged the birth parents of our adopted children then and in many ways, I still do. I judge them for who they aren't and the fact that they don't meet my expectations of what a parent should be for their kids. I judge them because, more than likely, they've not changed their ways.

I fully expected myself to hate Rip (the birth father) at the end of the movie. But my feelings were caught off guard and by the end, I had so much sympathy for him. Sure I was pissed that he had the audacity to take back a son that had never known him as a father, to tear a child away from the only home he'd ever known. But I kept thinking, he's not evil. He's not a villain. He just wants his boy, a boy he's never known.

And the truth is, I'm no better than the birth parents in the movie or the birth parents of Aaron or Olivia. Sure, they've made mistakes. But, hello, I live with myself every day and I know just how much I mess up. And while I'm busy heaping judgement on birth parents of my children (and of other children I know living in the foster care system or children who've been adopted) I need to step back and realize that I'm not perfect either. I don't always make enough effort. I am often so wrapped up in my own idols (substances) that I neglect my kids in some area. God convicts me of areas I need to change and, often, I refuse to make the changes.

I am so entangled in my own sin, that my children may struggle to see the glory of God because of ME.

That's a hard pill to swallow, that big 'ol pill of self-righteousness.

I'm not going to spoil the end of the movie, in case you've not seen it and want to watch, but I will tell you that I cried more in the last 10 minutes than I did throughout the rest of the movie. And, I cried a lot throughout the movie. In fact, Luke and I got started watching it late on Tuesday night and my mean 'ol husband (knowing what was best for me and that I needed sleep) made us pause it about 35 minutes in and watch the rest last night. I cried myself to sleep on Tuesday night, thinking about what I would do if social services showed up at our house and told me that there'd been an issue with Aaron or Olivia's adoption and the birth parents wanted them back.

I'll close by telling you this story. I know a woman who traveled the same journey of fostering and adoption as we did. In fact, their journey was nearly step-by-step the same as ours with Olivia. After the final court hearing where their son's birth parent's rights were completely terminated this woman, who I am blessed to call a close friend, stood outside the courthouse, wrapped her arms around her son's birth mother and cried with her. She told that mother of her desperate need for Jesus. She told her that Jesus could change her life.

A few months ago, that birth mother died, never knowing the transforming power of Christ. However, my friend cannot ever stand before the Lord and say that she didn't share the truth. Though she herself is flawed, and is the first to admit such, she knows that apart from Christ her life looks no different that that of an addiction controlled, effort lacking, glory of God hiding woman whose children have been taken from her.

She reminds me that when I look in the mirror, I too see a birth mother struggling with the tightening tentacles of sin and that judgement is just a reflection away.

I couldn't have said it better myself

Today I wanted to post something moving, thought provoking and lovely. Then I read this and knew that it said all that I wanted to say.

And not just because it includes excessively cute photos of my babies.

Click here.

And thanks Beth. We love you guys a whole lot. And just in case you ever doubted our devotion to you, our last double date night should have sealed the deal. You've won us over for life, if only because you now have amazing blackmail material. ;)

Unless that was all a dream?

Happy Birthday Aaron!

Two. Two years ago yesterday our lives changed forever. As we went about our normal day, just minutes down the road our sweet boy was taking his first breaths, unbeknown to us. Yes, our lives changed that very day even though we had no clue they were changing.

How we thank God for Aaron's life. As a step of obedience to God's calling on our life, we chose to pursue foster care for our family. Aaron (and his little sister Olivia) are God's greatest rewards for our choice of obedience. And even though somedays life with two toddlers (and 4 other kids) is chaotic and a struggle, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Aaron,

At two years old you are a fiercely independent little man. You prefer to play alone most of the time even though you want to know what everyone else is doing. You like all starchy foods and defy most everything else put on your plate. You have the sweetest laugh and your chuckles tend to get everyone else vying for your attention to see who can cause the most belly laughs in a row.

You love to climb on anything that will allow you. You live to ride on our battery powered cars for hours on end. You love all things to do with animals, especially fish. You are sweet on your littlest sister and love to give her kisses over and over and over again. You can jump and get both of your chubby little feet completely off the floor and you adore wearing shoes, particularly your boots. And, you continue to give the best, most snuggly hugs of anyone.

We love you so much sweet Aaron boy. And though your independence and strong determination continually challenge us as parents, we can't imagine our family without you. We pray that God will use your story of adoption and redemption for His glory. We pray that your life is devoted to Christ and you love Him with the fierceness and determination that you live the rest of your life. I love you so much sweet boy, so much more than my words on a page could ever express.

With all my heart,

Mommy

Bound by birth, Adopted with love

God orchestrates all things for His glory for those who love Him. Did you know that? I had read it right here before but it never really hit me exactly how it worked until many months after we had taken Aaron as our first placement as his foster parents. You see, shortly after the phone call we received informing us of Aaron's birth and, additionally, asking us of we'd be willing to take him into our home, I was on the phone with another woman who cared deeply about our sweet Aaron.

She was not someone from the Department of Social Services (DSS) office. She was not his birth mother. However, she cared deeply for him even though she'd never met him.

I remember sitting there at our table, listening to her voice through my phone, not totally understanding what was about to happen. I remember wondering what her role in his life would be, what it could have been, if only circumstances had been different.

You see this woman, who told me how much she loved our new little baby, had a very special connection to him.

She is the mother of Aaron's biological brothers.

She had walked the road that we were about to journey down. She had the dirt and blisters on her feet and sweat and blood on her brow from miles of walking a road that is tough and not for the faint at heart. She and her husband knew what it meant to love someone as your own flesh when they come from the womb of another woman.

And although much of Aaron's story is for him to tell and not me, I wanted to share with you all a very special relationship that our family is forming with some very special people.

These two precious boys share the same birth parents as our sweet Aaron. "N" and "C" are so sweet and all boy, just like our Aaron. They share similar features, like their bright blue eyes and a sweet, round nose. In fact, when their Mom "S" shared some of N and C's baby photos with me, it was like looking at photos of our Aaron, except with double vision!

And one day, they will share in being told the same story. The story of entering into foster care for reasons privileged only to them. The story of being placed into the arms of a mother who grew them in her heart, rather than her womb. The story of being loved, unconditionally, even though they didn't belong to this new family by birth.

The story of Mr. T and Mrs. S desiring to begin their boys' relationship with our son early on, when Aaron and N and C were only tiny babies.

(This is Aaron, at 2 months old, with N and C who were 14 months.)

The story of love, that brought them from what could have been to what truly is. Currently, we enjoy a loving relationship and special bond with N and C's family. They have kept Aaron on several occasions, even overnight. Both Mr. T and Mrs. S, as well as Luke and myself, desire for our boys to know that they are brothers.

This special relationship, we pray, will help them understand their unique situations as they grow older. And, as they one day struggle to understand the circumstances with their birth parents, we pray that having each other will help. We pray that growing up more than just birth siblings, but as friends, they will be able to identify with someone who comes from where they come from.

And ultimately, my prayer is that each of them will be able to cling to the One who provided a way for us all to be adopted, even when they are uncertain about the reasons for their worldly adoption.


This is what is unique about adopting a child through our local foster care agency (or in our case, our county's DSS). Often, ties with birth family is available. For us, being adoptive parents isn't about cutting them off from their birth family. It isn't about alienating them from who they are by birth.

However, they did come into foster care for a reason. Unfortunately, and all to often, those reasons prohibit us from feeling like there is a safe way for them to interact with birth family. In Aaron's case these boys, his birth brothers, are in a safe and loving home where spending time with them is not only possible but pleasurable. Mr. T and Mrs. S love Aaron so very much and it is evident on their faces each time they see him. Likewise, we adore N and C, although our time with them is much more sparse right now (due to the needs of our other children, we don't get 1 on 1 time - or 1 on 2 time - like we'd enjoy).

For neither of our fostered/adopted children, a relationship with their birth parents is not healthy or possible at this time in their lives. But, we when the time comes that they ask questions, we will not lie. Truth will prevail in our answers about their past. And while we will have to reveal things to them that will surely break their hearts and make them question their value, we pray that they will find their answer right in front of them.

We love them. God loves them.

For Olivia, having a relationship with birth family is proving more difficult. We wanted to wait until her adoption was final before pursuing those relationships. Now that her adoption is legal, we plan on beginning that process so that she may begin forming relationships with stable members of her birth family.

These are new waters for us to navigate, this balance between birth family and our family. But, we feel confident that the Lord placed these children into our home for a purpose. He placed them here for His purpose. And our desires are to allow our adopted children as much interaction with birth family that is safe. We feel blessed to have such with Aaron's birth brothers. For Olivia it will be new ground that we will walk on lightly, with our eyes prayerfully fixed on the One who knew all of this before the creation of the world.

There's nothing like having a twin

There have been times when people questioned why we wanted to foster and then adopt.

And other times that they questioned why we would take two more children, so close in age, when we already had our "own" kids.

Some have questioned how these two little ones would feel, having a sibling with a birthday so close to theirs.

And it's true that they have to share a lot of toys, share a lot of Mommy's lap, share a lot of their time, share their snacks and often their socks and shoes.

But I think that when they are able to talk and articulate themselves clearly...


...they will be able to tell you...

...that there's nothing like having a "twin."

(A special thanks to my friend Paige who took all these photos! Thanks, Paige!)

Hope

Even though our lives seem to be spinning into a world of chaos God is proving that He is, indeed, in control.

On Monday, as we waited for word from the operating room regarding my Maw's surgery, we received another kind of word.

Yes, our sweet Baby Girl is now officially a Beaver!

After sitting in the courtroom just over 14 months ago, listening to all the things her little body endured before she was born, we have no doubts that God mercifully spared her life so that she could one day be our precious daughter.

So, it's with great joy that I present to you:

Olivia Hope

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
"The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."
~ Lamentations 3:22-24

Thank you God. Thank you.

10 Most Random Monday Ever

I don't really have a cohesive way to tie these thoughts together. So I thought a little list might do you good. And, for some reason, I feel the need to get these things out in the open.

1) The "As Seen On TV" section of Walgreens fascinates me. I could stand there for quite some time, taking in all the things that people have thought up to make life "easier." Some are interesting, while others do, in fact, make our lives and bathroom a lot cleaner.

Yes, I bought a Touch-N-Brush. Yes, it works. Yes, there is still toothpaste all inside our sink. But it's no longer on the counters and floor, which I consider a step up for us.

No, I will not photograph it because that would require me cleaning off the mirror and counter tops.

2) I purchased a Neti-pot. Here is proof of my purchase, if you need it:


In the not-so-distant past I claimed that this was the most hysterical thing I'd ever seen. I am officially recanting my less than uplifting statements in regards to the Neti Pot.

However, I continue to claim that it baffles me that water can run through my sinus cavities and pour out of my nostril. More importantly though, I must confess that it FRIGGIN' ROCKS and I will be a Neti Potter for life.

After getting a Z-pack from my midwife, I went to Walgreens, turned in my prescription, found a Neti Pot and stood in the "As Seen On TV" section until my prescription was ready.

After a couple of uses the Neti Pot flushed out ALL OF THE INFECTION in my sinuses before I finished my Z Pack. By day 5 I was feelin' good.

Miracle worker, I tell ya. Mir-a-cle.

And now, for a formal apology to someone very special...

Dear Chris Thompson,

I formally apologize to you for ever dissing the Neti Pot. I see now that you are a man of great wisdom and hair. Please accept this formal apology for what it is worth. And, I will cook you and the Mrs. a dinner really soon. If you can pencil us into your busy schedule. And if I have not delivered a baby by then. And if I am not attending a Neti Pots anonymous meeting.

Sincerely,

Me.

3) We have tentatively decided on a boy name. No, I will not tell you. You can continue to wait for 6 more weeks. However, I asked Luke if we were sure about this name and his response was, "Yes. For now."

I guess that means we are as sure as we cannot be.

If that last sentence makes sense to you, will you explain it to me?

4) Luke and I made another major purchase this weekend, WITHOUT going into debt. It is similar to this purchase we made just over a year ago. And, I can't wait to fill you in on the details later this week.

Be prepared people. When we go BIG we go BIG.

5) 6 more weeks til this baby is due, yet everyone I know thinks I won't make it a full 6 weeks. Most people said the same thing with the twins, yet I was induced at 38 weeks (which is considered 40 weeks with twins).

Who gets induced with twins?

Apparently, I do.

6) I saw some puppy training pads at Walgreens during my visit the other day. I'm wondering if I should get some to potty train Aaron. He poops 7-9 times a day and I really don't want to deal with that in underwear. What do y'all think?

7) I am amazed that a Neti pot cost $8.99 and yet an enema only $2.99. Aren't they basically the same thing?

8) I bought an exercise ball to sit on to relieve the pressure from my back and hips. If you come to my house and I answer the door sitting on a large, plastic ball. Pay me no mind, pay me no mind. It's heavenly I tell you. Like sitting on a large, plastic cloud.

9) Baby Girl's adoption will not be done before Feb 1st. Which bums me out, but I am trusting in God's perfect timing. The 10 day waiting period will begin when the social worker delivers one last piece of paperwork to our house.

10) I have somewhat re-entered the world of Twitter. But, I don't feel it deserves a spot on the blog until closer to time when the baby comes (which is the purpose for me re-entering the world of twitter). If you'd like to see my Tweets you can go here.

And now I feel really dirty for asking "if you'd like to see my Tweets" so I'm gonna stop now.

Happy Monday y'all.

Bathtime Beauty

Sorry for not doing a Das Not Funny! Friday post. Hopefully the following will make up for any extreme (or not-so-extreme) disappointment you may have and will tide you over til next week:

I'm still learning the exposures and shutter speeds and such on my camera and taking the advice of a photog friend I downloaded Picasa this afternoon and played around with the effects. I'm no pro, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Nomatter how photos are exposed or how well (or not so well) she's photographed, isn't this little princess a BEAUTY?

I sure think so. And I love her so much my heart will surely burst one day. She just makes me smile. I love her tender spirit and joy for life. And that toothy grin...geesh, just melt.my.heart.

I found out yesterday that a piece of paper was left out of the paperwork when we filed her adoption and the 10 day waiting period cannot begin until the social worker picks it up at our house and delivers it to the courthouse. So, hopefully, Monday our fabulous social worker will swing by, pick it up and deliver it to the courthouse to begin the 10 day wait.

But you know what? Until then, I'll just look at this sweet face and focus on today. And my sweet Bathtime Beauty...

And remind myself that she won't be the baby for much longer and I'd better soak her up now, while I can.

She's almost legal: Baby Girl Update

For those of you who may have just joined our journey through the world of fostering and adoption let me catch you up to speed semi-quickly. For those of you that already know this story, walk with me for a moment down memory lane and check out a few pics you may not have seen before.

Baby Girl is our 15 month old daughter. She was added to our family when she was a wee 4 days old. Look how tiny and precious she was the day I brought her home from the hospital.

15 months ago, as I sat in the nursery at the hospital and waited on paperwork to be processed, I had no idea how this little girl would continue to steal my heart time and time again. What an incredible stroke of luck display of God's timing that we had already planned (weeks before) family photos for the day she arrived!

Her tiny little head fit perfectly in the palm of Luke's hand, just as her tiny little self fit perfectly into our family.

We were all smitten with this little, bright-eyed beauty from the moment we laid eyes on her.

That was 15 months ago.

This week, we celebrate our love for her once more.

On Friday (as in, tomorrow!) I will excitedly meet Baby Girl's adoption social worker at our county's courthouse and file the necessary paperwork to make her a legal member of our family!

We feel so blessed that God has led us to this place and that she will be our daughter legally, on paper, as she has been for so long now in our hearts. The process to file is relatively simple. The Clerk of Court will hold our adoption paperwork for the mandatory 10 days. At the end of the 10 days he should sign them making Baby Girl officially ours!

With Aaron it took 17 days for the clerk to sign and with some friends of ours it took much, much longer. So, I'm praying that by the 1st week in February she will officially be a Beaver! We couldn't be happier!

And, I don't think she could be either!

Squishy Face

Our Baby Girl's new favorite past time.

Adoption Update on Baby Girl

For the last several weeks (actually since my trip to Arkansas in October) I've been holding my breath and praying for God to move Baby Girl's adoption along, quickly.

While I was sleeping in one morning, our social worker (not Baby Girl's original social worker or her new, adoption social worker...that's #3 are you keeping count?) called and gave us some news that if Baby Girl's adoption was not official before the birth of Baby #6 that there could be a problem. Ideally, we were hoping and praying that Baby Girl's adoption would be final and then Luke and I could voluntarily terminate our foster parent license. If that couldn't happen (because Baby Girl was not legally adopted) then our County office would have to appeal the state for a license waiver. The waiver would be to allow us to be a licensed foster home with 6 children rather than 5. Our state law is that foster homes can only be licenses for up to 5 children.

You still with me? However, since Baby Girl is legally in the custody of the state, they could say "No" to our appeal and remove her from our home. Needless to say I was quite worried. Still, I knew that if God's plans were to remove Baby Girl then all my worrying wouldn't do much to change that.

So I began to pray and I asked others to pray. God has heard those prayers and answered them in a BIG way.

I spoke with Baby Girl's adoption worker today. The BEST news is that Baby Girl's birth mother did NOT appeal the TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) order!! She had until yesterday at 5:00pm to appeal and as of 10:30am today the attorney's office had NOT received an appeal! WHOOOOOPIE!!!

Today our case should be taken to adoption committee where we would be deemed an adoptive placement for Baby Girl!

Once we are considered an adoptive placement and the placement is written on paper IT DOESN'T MATTER if Baby #6 gets here before her adoption is final! Our adoption worker told us that the only difference is that we would be considered strictly an adoptive placement and not a foster home. Once a child is placed with an adoptive family, the adoptive family does NOT have to be licensed.

In short, SHE'S HERE TO STAY!! Praise God!

There is still some other paperwork that has to be written, signed by a judge and filed. The legal father's TPR date was in early November so we are waiting on that order to be written, signed and his 30 days appeal period to lapse. But, I'm TOTALLY not worried about any of that because to date they've been unable to contact the legal father so I doubt he'd appear now and appeal his TPR.

Whew! Y'all still there?

God is so good. I would hope that we'd have Baby Girl's adoption final by mid-to-end January. But, they are moving and retraining a new county attorney so that may not happen as swiftly as we'd like.

Thank you all for praying along side us with the adoption of our children! God is just so very, very good!

TPR Hearing: 3rd Time's A Charm: UPDATE

Update:

After finding some incorrect dates on paperwork the judge continued our case until after lunch. At 2:00pm the case was reconvened and at approximately 3:45pm TPR was deemed necessary for the birth mother. HOWEVER, there are some outside circumstances (which I don't feel comfortable discussing here...it's not my story to tell anyway, it's Baby Girl's, should she ever choose) that have caused some other paperwork to not be processed correctly. Therefore, we go back to court for those circumstances on October 28th. Nonetheless, TPRing the birth mother's rights was a HUGE step in the right direction. But, it looks as if my personal goal of Baby Girl being a legal Beaver by Christmas may not be attainable.

Oh well, who cares about my plans anyway? I just need to continue to surrender it to the One who knows all plans, judges all hearts and sees all futures.

Thanks for your prayers today. The were certainly felt. As for our friends The Hauts, check out their blog for an update.


Original Post:

This morning we head back to court for Baby Girl's Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) hearing. If you're new around these parts, let me catch you up to speed. Baby Girl is our 10 month old foster daughter whom we've parented since birth (October 2008).

The judge changed her plan from reunification to TPR back in February. This is the third time we will visit the court room with the hopes that today is the day that TPR is done. We are blessed to share this court date with our good friends the Hauts. They have a foster son (who is 3 days older than our Aaron) whose case is also being heard for a TPR.

So, we are praying that both cases are heard today, that TPR is ruled and that our precious babies will be one step closer to being legally free for adoption.

Won't you offer up just a teentsy, tiny prayer too? Thanks. I'll update later this afternoon to hopefully bring you good news.

In the meantime, enjoy this picture of Ashlee playing Mommy to Baby Girl. Tender, huh?

This Week's Specials

This week will hopefully prove to be a BIG week in the Beaver house. At some point this week the clerk of court should sign Aaron's adoption paperwork and give us a call and say, "Congratulations! I'm so excited for you! Your adoption of this precious child is official. I'm so excited for you that I will personally drive his paperwork to your house myself!"

or possibly a less dramatic,

"Hello. I signed your paperwork today and will mail it to you this week."

Probably the latter but I like living in the land of excitement and drama, clearly.

In other news, we had our first showing on our house last night. The agent's feedback stated that the potential buyers had 4 four year olds and that they were looking for more of a neighborhood setting.

4 four year olds huh? I'm hoping that means they understood the massive stains on our carpet and the fact that there were creepy headless Barbies laying about in the girls' bedroom. I'm also wondering why they didn't drive by our house before they asked to see the inside so that they could get a feel for the neighborhood that apparently does not exist around our house.

I mean, they have 4 four year olds so they've gotta understand that cleaning our house was no small feat. And, the one hour notice they gave us was a little much. But, it's a buyer's market so I guess that means you can be bossy and all.

Whatever.

Finally, we go to court for Baby Girl on Thursday for the Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) hearing. So help me sweet mercy if her case is not heard on Thursday I might just have to be locked up for a indefinite amount of time. Which would probably not aid in us selling our house since our children would be left home alone all day and thus making our house look like a tornado hit it. I do have another reason for wanting the case to be heard on Thursday (you know, other than the fact that I want my youngest daughter to be legally MINE OURS). The roast beef sandwich that I am sure to enjoy afterwards, (at the little deli on Main St, just around the corner from the courthouse) which is God's good and perfect gift to me personally, will surely taste sweeter when served with a side of "Finally sweet Lord, TPR has begun!"

Or at least that's what I think. Hope y'all have a great day.

Fostering and Adoption Update: Filing Paperwork!

Yesterday, on Elizabeth's birthday, we not only celebrated our precious girl BUT we also got to file Aaron's adoption paperwork! Woooo hooooo!

The usual proceeding is that the county clerk's office will hold his paperwork for 10 days, then the clerk gives it his signature and Aaron is considered legally adopted. However, the clerk is out all next week at a clerk's conference so we are hoping to have the paperwork signed the week of August 17th. Once it's signed, we will receive a copy of the adoption decree in the mail that will act as his birth certificate until the State can issue him an official birth certificate. The current wait time for the official birth certificate is ONE YEAR. (Isn't our government so efficient?)

I'm praying that the week of August 17th will be OUR WEEK as we also head back to court for Baby Girl on August 20th. Hopefully, the judge will grant the Termination of Parental Rights at that hearing and her case will move smoothly into adoption proceedings. Our good friends The Hauts will also be in court that day for their Little Man's Termination of Parental Rights hearing, so needless to say, it's a big day. And one that I am growing increasingly anxious about.

Good News, Bad News: A Court Update

Baby Girl's Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) hearing was scheduled for this morning.

The good news is that I did not get arrested for contempt of court this morning.

The bad news is that the case was continued until August 20th. I do not feel comfortable sharing why the case was continued, just know that your tax dollars (for those of you living in NC) were wasted today. I am beyond frustrated.

Stepping Back

Maybe you've noticed (or maybe you haven't) that I haven't been posting as much lately. It's not that I don't enjoy blogging anymore, it's just that I've felt the Lord convicting me of the intent of all this blogging I've been doing. Originally, this blog was created so that I could journal all the frustrations, joys, hilarity, and growth in my life as a mother to lots of small children and as follower of Jesus.

However, over the last several months my focus had changed. I focused on making sure I posted something everyday. I focused on the things around me that were "blog worthy." Rather than blogging being a way to journal an already God focused life, blogging became the focus and God the icing on the cake.

I'm not saying that the things I've written were not heart felt nor were they totally irrelevant to what God was revealing to me in my life. That is not the case. But, you see, I tried to look at my day by what would make a good post rather than what would make some great memories. Does that make sense? Do you see the difference I'm speaking about?

So, I've made a conscious effort to step back and reevaluate the purpose of this blog. Sure, it is a way to connect with friends, keep family informed and journal the funny, crazy, lovely and blessed life that I lead. But, what are God's desires for me and this blog? What are the ways that I can look at life with His perspective and then journal them here? I feel that my life's focus has gone from God driven to blog driven and I know I need a blogitude adjustment.

So I'm stepping back. That doesn't mean that there still won't be weeks that I blog everyday (because let's face it, blogging is great therapy...and it's FREE). That doesn't mean that I won't continue to blog about hilarious things that my kids say. That doesn't mean that I won't still read other blogs and cry or laugh or pray. But, the way that it has consumed me must change. I must change if I desire to be fully surrendered to the One Who deserves my undying devotion.

Does all that make sense?

Anyway, tomorrow is Baby Girl's Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) court case. Birth Mom will be there and if the judge continues her case again I might get arrested for contempt of court. So please, if it is pressed on you heart, pray that the case is called quickly and that it is heard by the judge and a TPR is ruled. I will update you all as soon as I can tomorrow afternoon.

Have a great Thursday.

Fostering Update: Adoptions and Court

All three social workers came by this morning (our licensing social worker, Aaron's social worker and Baby Girl's social worker). I found out that Aaron and Baby Girl's cases will be taken to Adoption Committee together on July 28th or 29th. That, of course, is contingent upon Baby Girl's Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) case being heard on July 23rd. If all goes well on the 23rd, her case will be approved for adoption along with Aaron's.

After Aaron's case goes to adoption committee I will meet his social worker at the clerk of court and file all the paperwork needed to legally change his name and make him an official Beaver. Then they hold the paperwork for 10 days (just some rule they have) and file it all after the 10 day mark. Once it is filed, he is legal! Woopie!

Baby Girl's case will not move so swiftly. When and if her case is heard on the 23rd the DSS attorney then has to draft the TPR petition. That petition goes to the judge that heard the case. Once that judge signs the petition Baby Girl's birth mother has 30 days to file an appeal. Now, don't think that drafting the TPR petition and the judge's signature is a quick thing either. I've heard of it taking as little as 6 weeks and as long as 2 years. (Yes, the 2 years was an exception, but it has happened in our county. SO frustrating!)

30 days after the judge has signed the petition, and if birth mother does not appeal, then Baby Girl would be legally free for adoption. All that would be left would be meeting the social worker at the clerk of court once more and then the 10 day waiting period (that is assuming that we were approved for her at adoption committee).

Whew! I inteded for this to be a quick update, but I guess when you have so much red tape, you're dealing with the legal system and when you are referencing adoptions, quick posts are an oxymoron.