Cool Treat...Comin' Right Up!

Thanks to those of you who offered up some prayer about the vacation I mentioned. May I elaborate? (Of course I can, it's my blog.)

You see, several months ago, Luke and I went in with some friends and "bid" on a week long vacation in the mountains. It was a silent auction and benefit dinner for our friends, Chris and Lindy, who were about to leave for the mission field.

We won the auction, ecstatic at the awesome price we paid. However, God sure is a funny fellow (can I call God a fellow?..I'm guessing He'd be okay with that, we're tight like that).

LOTS has changed since that evening in April. For starters, we've added Baby D and Baby Girl to our home and our friends are past the point of being ready to meet their first bundle of joy are eager to meet their first baby boy, who is due a week from Monday.

Needless to say, coordinating a time for the four of us to get away isn't going to happen in the next 5 years. So, it with great pains that Luke and I will endure a week long vacation, ALONE, in the wonderful North Carolina mountains skiing, hiking and just hanging out!

We've been saying for a while now that we need to get away, for longer than just a few hours, and spend some quality time investing in our marriage. Well, the time has come...or it will in about 2 weeks!

I called today and confirmed the reservation and I've all but got all 5 kids' care covered. Luke and I NEED time away. Plus, it's already paid for...woohoo!

So, thanks for the prayers earlier this week (all you faithful prayin' people), and thanks Chris and Lindy for becoming missionaries and giving us a great excuse to bid on a vacation we would have otherwise never bought. I know you did it all for us, didn't you?

5 for Friday: The Longest 5 Yet

1. Baby D's birth parents canceled the visit AGAIN today. Apparently, birth dad is still sick. That means they saw him for FOUR hours total in the month of January. Luke said he thought birth dad needed to see a Dr if he was still sick...and then followed it with "a head doctor." Somedays I DO wonder if I married a comedian.

2. Can I get a "Praise the Lord" for Miralax? Seriously. Baby Girl has struggled with constipation since about 3 weeks old. Nothing has worked, NOTHING. We've tried prune juice, dark Karo syrup and apple juice and STILL she was only going every 5 to 6 days and screaming her head off each time until I "helped" her. Because God is merciful, He created Miralax (not sure which day that fell on) and now Baby Girl is pooping like a champ! She even woke me up at 3:30am to poop. I'm so proud. (Don't worry, I DID consult our pediatrician about giving Miralax to her.) I never knew I'd be so happy to see a poopy diaper. I'm sure the newness of that will wear off faster than yesterday's deodorant.

3. I got this in an email today. Normally, I loathe forwards (hint hint), but since this one was A) from my husband and B) incredibly hilarious I will gladly accept it and now share it via my blog. I choose to do so here because...I loathe forwards but this one is GOOD.

(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

Dear Mrs. Jones,
I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Freakin' hysterical.

4. Luke and I are plotting an evil wonderful scheme to spend 4 or 5 days together, secluded from the "real" world and our kids. If you feel led, please pray this happens soon as my patience and mental capacity are both diminishing rather quickly. I NEED some time away. Not to say I don't love and cherish and adore my kids, but it would be good for us to get away.

5. Here's 5 pics for your viewing pleasure. Happy Friday!

Post haircuts, with the most prized "sutter."

Stylin' and profilin' at the park

Mountain climber.

Momma and the "Mystery Man" who so sweetly obliged me again with a partial face pic.


(No longer the) The Countess of Constipation

(Not So) Extreme Makeover: Drama Queen Edition

There comes a time when every self-respecting mother must take her children for haircuts. (Or I guess one could cut their hair within the confines of their own house, but let's be serious people...I use Bisquick to make pancakes and I buy pre-made scrapbooks. Crafty ain't my thang and I'm not about to try my skills on the only thing in my house that I DID make from scratch. If you didn't catch that, just think about it a little longer.)

Today was that day for me. Luckily, I had my own mom, A.K.A "MeMe" in tow, you know...so someone had my back. This posse rarely ventures into public with only one person who can fill sippy cups and wipe bottoms...that would be committing social suicide.

Elizabeth went first as she continually reminded me, and Ms. Tera (our "stylist") that she wanted,

"Just a trim. And not curwels cut off."

Check. Curls remained in tact.

Next was Lucas. Let me just tell you that Lucas LOVES getting his hair cut. Seriously. I told him last week that we were going to see Ms. Tera and since then, he's asked every day

"We get my hay-were-cut today and then I get a sutter?"

Okay, so maybe it's not the haircut he likes as much as the sucker. Even still, suckers and guns...that's what this boy is made of...and of course, smiles.


Ashlee went last because she got the most dramatic transformation. Our little Drama Queen has the slipperyest hair this side of the Mississippi. Every week I send her into gymnastics with two adorable pigtails and each week she comes back to me looking like a miniature version of Bozo the Clown.

So, I decided to go with a childlike, yet stylish bob. She's petite and spunky, and DRAMATIC, so I figured if anyone in our house could pull of a bob it would be her. Let's face it, I'm not going for the bob look anytime soon...much to my husband's dismay.

At any rate, I was right. She is now the cutest thing this side of the Mississippi. Take a look for yourself.

With long flowing hair:


Sporting the stylish bob:

Front View


Back view

I think it fits her spunky personality to a T.

Homeschooling and Thought Gathering

I posted today on the blog my BFF and I blog on jointly.

If you're a "seasoned" homeschooler, or even if you're not, I'd love your advice.

Click here to see my post.

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I'm still tossing around the images I saw in the video I posted yesterday. I showed it to Luke last night and both of us just sat there, numb with shock and tears in our eyes.

I'd love to know your response/reaction to the video.

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Today we had an Agency Review for Baby Girl. Nothing can come of the meeting, legally, but it allowed people from different government departments to hear Baby Girl's case and recommend to DSS what the next step should be. Everyone in the room seemed to agree that Termination of Parental Rights (TPR)/Adoption is the best approach. The social worker will recommend such at our court hearing on February 9th.

Needless to say, I'm super excited. However, I pray for God's will for Baby Girl's life, above all else. I know that He has crafted her for His purpose and that where ever her forever home is, she will always be my baby.

What will WE do?

Well, I was going to post today about my frustrations with homeschooling my 4.5 year old with my 2.5 year olds acting like crazy people (and by crazy I mean continual fit throwing for over an hour).

However, I saw this video on the Bowers' adoption blog. I am now sitting here with tears all over my face, streaming onto my lap, blurry vision and a broken heart.

Warning: This video contains images that may not be suitable for all people. These children are severely malnourished and crippled.

The only question that remains is:

What will YOU do, now that you know?

What will I do?

A Ramble of Raw Emotion

The social worker who does Baby D's visits called bright and early this morning at 8:00am. I have come to know what an 8:00am call means. The birth parents canceled the visit...again. Since January 1st, they have canceled a total of 5 out of 7 visits (so I was off 1 on my last post...oops). For the 1st three they canceled, birth dad has a stomach virus (that spanned 1.5 weeks). Then, they canceled because it was too cold outside. Today they canceled because birth dad has strep throat.

Now, I know I'm the LAST person who needs to question anyone when it comes to being sick, but COME ON! I don't know, maybe I'm just jaded when it comes to them telling the truth. I mean, they claim they are doing EVERYTHING to get their son back, yet they CLEARLY are not. As I said in my last post, they cannot stop doing the ONE THING that brought him into DSS custody in the first place.

Also, I caught them in a lie last week (you know, when the social worker picked him for one of the two visits he's had this month). A while back at an agency review I asked them if they smoked in front of Baby D because he was coming home smelling like smoke. They assured me that they were not and even went so far as to claim that they DID NOT smoke in their house. Well, I've known this was a lie for some time now, however they have continued to claim that they do not smoke in their house. (Which I mean, WHY LIE? As long as you aren't smoking in front of him....who cares?)

At any rate, whatever I send with Baby D to visits comes home smelling like a chimney. Lately I've been sending a hand made blanket that I received as a shower gift when I had the twins. I send it because it's the heaviest blanket I have that isn't PINK. Anyway, I asked the social worker if she would please make sure that they didn't spread it out on the floor because I am having to wash it a lot and I'm afraid it will begin to wear. I asked her if she thought they smoked in their house and she said,

"I know they do. When I bring him in for his visit they move ash trays and stuff."

I just stood there, letting the new knowledge sink in, wondering why it shocked me so much. I KNEW they were lying.

This isn't the only time they've been caught in a lie, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

As I continue this journey, I never cease to be amazed at the raw emotion I feel toward these people. I know I should encounter them with grace, love and mercy but for some reason, those are not the emotions that spring forth from my heart when they come to mind.

I know at a time when my own family cannot shake a month's worth of sickness, I should not be questioning someone else's health, but it's just so stinkin' hard to believe ANYTHING they say.

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As for OUR health, Lucas spiked a pretty high fever last night, but so far Ashlee has been fever free for almost 24 hours. Yay! Of course, now that I say that I'm sure she will begin to puke or something else totally gross. I am feeling MUCH better (upon the advice of my Mom to start some vitamins ASAP). Thanks so much for your prayers for my family's health.

Now, if you'll just pray for my MENTAL health, I'm sure everything will work out just fine and my blood pressure will return to normal!

Fostering Update and Sick People

Baby D still has visits two times a week. We do not return to court for him until March 16th. At that time, I am hoping that DSS will recommend Termination of Parental Rights (TPR)/Adoption. The Guardian Ad Litem has already told me that she is recommending TPR/Adoption because they cannot follow the guidelines in their case plan. Naturally, it is all up the judge.

I'm really struggling to have a compassionate and merciful heart toward Baby D's birth parents. They have not stopped doing the ONE THING that brought him into DSS custody, and yet they claim to "love their son and will fight for him."

Yeah, actions speak louder than words, honey.

This past week they asked about a mystery bruise on this cheek and if we would send some pictures. Ok, he's almost 8 months old, sitting up and slinging every toy he can get his hands on. I have no idea where he got the bruise. And NO, I will not send pictures. If they wouldn't have canceled the last 6 of 7 visits maybe they would have had time to take his picture.

See, not so compassionate OR merciful, am I?

Baby Girl on the other hand....

I cannot go into much detail but she is not having visits with her birth mom because of certain circumstances. However, she is doing very well and growing. When we go to court on February 9th, DSS is recommending TPR/Adoption. Once more, it's all up to the judge.

Baby Girl's social worker did tell me that she gave birth mom the letter I wrote. However, she hasn't had a chance to speak with her, so I don't know if it had ANY impact at all. I'm just leaving it up to the Lord. I do feel compassion and mercy for this woman, although I cannot explain why.

The Big Sister and Baby Girl

Ashlee Girl giving Baby D his bottle. Doesn't he look THRILLED?

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As for the health of my family, well, it's a moment by moment update. Just when I think we've finally kicked every germ out of the house and begun recovery, someone spikes a fever or gets explosive diharrea or pukes. I'm just not sure what's going on around here.

Hopefully, some rest, vitamins, homemade chicken & rice soup (thanks Mom!) and lovin' will heal all sickness.

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Finally, I just HAD to leave you all with this picture of Ash. It cracks me up.

5 for Friday

1. Neither Ashlee nor Elizabeth have strep throat. Praise the LORD! Ashlee is running a fever today, but it is easily remedied with some Motrin and snuggles. That means 2 (two) sick kids today. It will be a LONG day.

2. I tried to reformat my blog to have 3 columns and lost EVERYTHING...okay, ALMOST everything. Okay, just the stuff in my side margins. So, that means if my link to your blog in my blog roll is gone it's not because I suddenly don't like you. It's because Blogger doesn't like you (or it doesn't like me, I can't decide). Leave a comment here and I'll re-link you. Unless you don't want me to link to you, in which case, don't comment and I'll forget all about you (and cry myself to sleep tonight).

3. Speaking of reformatting, I'd LOVE your opinion. Do you like the 3 columns or is it just too busy? Does it make the page look too cluttered? I'm still trying to decide which I like best.

4. I'm twittering now. I'm not sure how long it will last. It's over on the right margin if you're interested.

5. I had to start my hit counter over AGAIN...because, well, I lost EVERYTHING remember? This time I started at 29,500, even though it was a smidge over that. You know me ULTRAconservative. Oh...wait.. I can't believe how close that is to 30,000. Wow. I'm flabbergasted. "I'd like to thank the academy, all the people that supported me along the way...."

"It's Nearly Impossible..."

Okay, most of you know that I'm still recovering from my SECOND round of strep this year (and I don't mean fiscal year...I mean since Jan. 1, 2009).

At any rate, I was ASSURED by the pediatric nurse that kids under 3 are "very unlikely to contract strep throat. It's nearly impossible."

Then please tell me why Baby D now has an ear infection (okay, maybe that's not strep related) AND Ashlee is running a fever of 101.7? I'm considering waiting until the morning to get her swabbed because I was just told by another pediatric nurse that their office is "swamped right now and it might be better to just wait until the morning."

Grrrr....

This should be a fun night. Luke's picking her up from my Nana's house now and I'm gonna take a good look at her throat and see if I will be adding to the PEDs office madness. Chances are, I will happily add to the chaos.

Sheesh, "nearly impossible" my foot.

A Sippy of Royalty

Our kids are obsessed with chocolate milk. They would drink it 24/7 if I let them. However, sometimes I'm mean and make them drink...*gasp* WATER.

At any rate, Lucas is spending the night/day/night at my Mom and Dad's house (aka MeMe and PawPaw). My mom just emailed me and told me the following story:

Lucas: "Meme! More choc choc milk!" As he thrust his empty sippy cup in her direction (In a totally respectful kind of way, I'm sure).

MeMe: "What's the magic word?"

Lucas: "Yes, your majesty!" Which I'm sure was accompanied with a bow in her direction.

Guess we've watched Sleeping Beauty a lot lately.

I'm Dreaming, Of A White...Sickness

Yesterday it snowed. Yes, snow. I realize that this may not be a big deal for most of you, but for us in the South, in particular my town, this is HUGE. Seriously. Luke's bank didn't open until 11am (even though he stayed home with my sick self to tend to the youngin's). Schools closed, daycare centers left working parents to fend for themselves...why I wouldn't have been surprised if the USPS itself closed, except for that motto of theirs, something about rain, sleet, snow, hail...

At any rate, the ground was covered..sorta. It was probably no more than what you northerners would call a "dusting" but we southern folk considered it an all out blizzard. I bet the Wal-mart was slap out of bread and milk.

I was super bummed because of all the weather that this southern girl experiences, snow is the least likely to happen and yet my absolute favorite. So, I bundled up my 2.5 year old boy (the girls were, and still are, at the grandparents since this is my second visit from Mr. Streptococcus) and sent him out to play in the bitter cold with his Daddy.

Now, usually Luke's not the photographer in the family. But this time, I've gotta give him props. He did a superb job, and while I was doped up passed out on pain meds in the bed, he took pictures that made me feel like I was right out there with them. Actually, with the way those pain meds made me feel, I MIGHT HAVE been right out there with him and never known it.

Come to think of it these pictures ARE pretty good...

Lucas boots, Daddy boots.

Guess who?

Seriously. Where did this man get his photo taking skills all of the sudden?

Our Winter Wonderland (and part of Brinkley's tail).

Laughter Lives Tuesday

I'm always hesitant to begin "blog carnival-esque" things. However, this one is too good to pass up.

The Riggs Family has a sweet daughter named Abby who is currently battling cancer. Today is the first official day of "Laughter Lives Tuesday."

If you've been around my kids EVER you know they are incredibly hilarious (ok, maybe everyone thinks that about their kids, but mine REALLY ARE). At any rate, this gives me the opportunity to share with you the funny things my kids have said over the last week...all rolled into one convenient post. Lucky you, huh? This week, I'll go easy on ya, and only tell one story.

This post is part of "Laughter Lives! Tuesday" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check our their blog to read everyone else's "Laughter Lives!" posts.

Not A Awesome Day!

On Sunday, Elizabeth woke up super early. During her "extra time" (which we NEVER have on Sunday mornings) she found a cape my Grandma had made. She asked if she could wear it to church, and since Luke and I are the coolest parents ever, we told her it was okay.

However, since we've had a cold snap (here in the South, that means it's been 32*F and colder) I also told her that she MUST wear a coat, along with her cape, to church.

Upon the zipping of her coat, her cape became tight around her neck. This caused Elizabeth to panic. In an effort to resolve her anxiety, I swiftly reached down and unbuttoned the cape from around her neck.

BAD call.

She flung herself on the floor, just like a dying-llama and proceeded to scream,

"I want my cape!"

Naturally, such behavior did not deserve a logical response so I stepped over her, telling her calmly that children who act in such a manner do not get the privilege of wearing their capes to church.

The dying-llama fit continued as Luke strapped her into her car seat and continued furthermore as we drove to church.

Finally, in a moment of clarity, she declares:

"This is NOT a awesome day!"

Knowing that our uncontrolled laughter would NOT promote more clarity, Luke and I stifled our giggles as best possible from the front seats.

What have your kids done this week to cause laughter? Check out the Riggs' family blog for more on Laughter Lives Tuesday.

Seriously? Again?

Well, I have strep throat...again. The last time I posted saying I had strep, I was doped up on pain killers. Please disregard the obvious spelling and gramatical errors.

Theus tyme eye'm fealin' butter bekause I cot it so mutch earlyer. Ewe no, before eye have skabs on my tonsails.

At any rate, I'm not taking the pain killers (yet) and I'm hoping to be better by tomorrow.

Geesh, I don't know where I keep picking this up.

And The Winner Is...

Okay people, I gotta say I'm pretty disappointed. Not in the people that entered, but in those of you (all 300+ hits) that came, lurked and left. Seriously. Guess you all just didn't know that we get really AMAZING tacky Christmas Gifts. Tisk, tisk.

While I'm speaking of site hits, you may have noticed a new counter over there on that right side, along with some data if you click on it. After noticing that my previous hit counter was "unavailable" for almost 2 weeks, I decided it was time for a change. But, since said previous hit counter had been (and still was) down, I had NO IDEA what number we were on. So, I knew it was between 28,000 and 29,000 so I chose 28,500. And there you go.

Now for the BIG REVEAL....

First of all, I must say, that all EIGHT of you (not that I'm bitter, really...) that commented did a great job. I laughed each time. I really was hard choosing just 1.

So, here goes. The best caption for "Name That Photo" my first (and maybe only) Edition is:

Baby Mutant Ninja Turtle...cutie in a half shell...

(To which I added, in my mind, TURTLE POWER!) submitted by Amanda.

I mostly loved this one because it was a throwback to my our childhood. We are the same age, right Amanda?

I also LOVED GK's "The Headless Hip Thruster." But if you don't know us IRL (in real life) and you've never seen Baby D's awesome hip thrusting abilities, this isn't really that funny.

Amanda, if you really DO want one of our tacky Christmas presents, email me your address and I'll slap something in the mail to you. Seriously though, consider this your warning. Actually, I will post your options and let you pick. How's that sound?

Wait, maybe I'll just email you your options. We have family that reads this blog as well. Not that any of them were the givers of such gifts....no, that wouldn't be the case at all.

At any rate, thanks to everyone who played.

A Contest and Fun with Gizmo

So, Gizmo has this cool thing (I mean it's not a Mac for you Mac folk) where you can do funny stuff with the built in webcam. Basically, it's the coolest thing since our new Diaper Genie III (and man is THAT thing cool). Our house used to totally smell like poop, all the time, until the Diaper Genie III. It was a Christmas gift from my mom. She gave it to Luke. Hilarious, right? Even funnier was how excited we BOTH got over a diaper genie. She had thoughtfully tucked a Lowe's gift card inside as well so Luke didn't totally feel short changed.

Still, this webcam is rockin'. Not only can you disfigure yourself, but you can add cool faces, hats, ears and such. It is awesome. My friend Grace was over, and we got the brilliant idea to get some of Baby D, so that I could post them on here. Naturally, Elizabeth, Lucas and Ashlee joined in on the fun.

So...here you go.

The phantom of naptime.

Elfie Ash

Artsy Elizabeth

Ashlee 1, Elizabeth, Ashlee 2
(Praise God this is only a picture. I mean, I love my Ashlee...but PRAISE GOD!)

This is my happy face!

Grace's Version of a fish, and double pacci Baby D


"Because I only have EYE(s) for you..."

Happy Boy, with 2 kitty kitties

It only looks like he's puking. It's really his kitty's tail.

The Scary Big Bad Wolf!

And finally, I have seen other blogs do this, but have yet to try for fear of complete failure or lack of participation (that's your guilt trip right there). However, here goes.


CONTEST: For the picture below, I challenge you to give it a clever caption or title. The winner will receive a prize of some sort. Either a personalized certificate of achievement (which I would expect you to frame and display prominently), or something a little more tangible (we'll see what I come up with out of our tacky Christmas present collection...just kidding) that I would mail to you or drop off personally if I actually know you IRL (in real life).

So...NAME THIS PHOTO. The contest closes whenever the urge hits me, sometime tomorrow.


*Entries limited to 1 (one) per registered blogger user and void anywhere prohibited or if I can't find anything fun in the tacky Christmas present closet. You are not allowed to be offended if I re-gift your Christmas present. In such case, it would NOT be from the tacky Christmas present closet but rather from the section right beside that pile labeled, "Best Gifts Ever."

Today In Court

Well, we sat in court today until just before 1:00pm. We heard a lot of heartbreaking cases, none of which had to do with the children in our home. At just before 1:00pm, the judge continued the case until February 9th.

It was continued because the birth dad listed on the DSS paperwork has been located and the judge ordered paternity testing.

We did see both birth mom and (potential) birth dad in court today. It was nerve wracking, sitting there in court, wanting to stare at Baby Girl's birth mom, but also not wanting to make her uncomfortable, or elicit a dirty look. I doubt that she knew that we were Baby Girl's foster parents because we didn't speak and since the case never technically came before the court, we never stepped forward.

Knowing that it will be Baby Girl's 4 month birthday before her case is even brought before the judge is discouraging. Knowing that it is all in God's hands is peaceful.

I did give the letter and photo to the social worker so that she could pass it along to Baby Girl's birth mother. Please pray with me that she receives it for what it is, and that her heart is softened so that she might be receptive to the love that the Lord already has for her.

Thanks for the prayers, comments, text messages and support that you have shown me and Luke. We cherish every one and know that it is not by our own strength that we made it through today.

Court Anyone?

Just a reminder that tomorrow, we go back to court for Baby Girl's Disposition. DSS is recommending Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) and Adoption. However, I found out on Thursday that the judge that is on the bench is the same judge I posted about here. She is none-to-fond of DSS and often sides with birth parents to a fault.

Above all, Luke and I know that God is in control of tomorrow's proceedings. If you feel led, please pray that all goes smoothly and that Luke and I feel at peace with finally seeing Baby Girl's birth mom. However, most importantly, please pray that Baby Girl's birth mother will be receptive to the love of Jesus Christ and the letter that I wrote her. Maybe she's never heard of Him, or maybe she has but she doesn't think He can do anything for her. At the very least, I pray that her heart is receptive to the redeption that only He can offer.

Thanks for journeying this with us.

His Marvelous Mercy

On Monday, we go back to court for Baby Girl. At that time, it is certain that we will get to see her birth mother. And although that makes me incredibly nervous, I also feel some compassion for this woman. Let me elaborate.

Sitting in that court room on the Thursday of Baby Girl's Disposition was no easy task. Hearing all the things that she went through while still in the womb was heartbreaking and, quite frankly it made me very angry at the woman who would do this to MY baby.

However, over the course of the last week or two, my heart has begun to soften. I know that Baby Girl's birth mother is bound by sin. I know that she suffers from addiction. I remember my life before I knew my Lord deeply and intimately and it wasn't pretty.

I wondered if birth mom thought about her precious baby and wondered how she was doing. I had my doubts because she's only seen her twice in the 3 months of her life.

Then, earlier this week I got an email from Baby Girl's social worker saying that she'd received a letter from birth mother requesting a picture. I knew that we'd be in court in just 1 week, so I told the social worker I'd bring it then.

As my heart and mind has mulled over birth mom's request, I've thought about what it might be like to be in her shoes. I've prayed over my actions regarding his request and felt the Holy Spirit move me to tears, aching for this mother and the hearbreak she must be feeling.

So last night, as everyone in my house slept, I sat in the darkness looking at my Baby Girl and I typed the following letter to her mother:



Dear Ms. [Smith],

I'm sitting here, watching [Baby Girl] sleep, listening to the sounds of her breathing, knowing that if I were in your shoes, I'd want to know how my baby is doing. So, first let me tell you that the purpose of this letter is not to make you feel bad, or judged, but simply a letter from a foster mom to a birth mom about how her baby is doing and what she's been up to over the last 3 months.

[Baby Girl] is such a precious little girl. When I picked her up from the hospital on October 13, 2008 I had no idea how much I would grow to love your precious daughter. She is beautiful in every way, as I'm sure you would agree.

[Baby Girl] still sleeps a lot, waking up about every 3 or so hours (during the day) to eat and for "conversations" where she flashes a heart melting smile. She smiles with her whole face, opening her mouth wide and sometimes even giggling. She loves being talked to, sung to, cooed at and, mostly just held. She loves to sleep swaddled all up, with a pacifier securely in her mouth.

She's a good sleeper, already sleeping through the night. She takes her last bottle somewhere between 8 and 9pm and then sleeps until 5am or so.

She has a unique personality and from the very beginning has been more responsive and cooed more than any baby I've ever seen. Her beautiful eyes scan your face, really checking out the person who is holding her. She is very alert (when she's awake) and even now, as she is sleeping, she makes soft noises that are so sweet. Even the doctor said at her newborn visit that she was an alert baby. She even smiled at the doctor at just 5 days old! We were all so amazed!

She is growing pretty well, and at her 2 month check up she weighed 9 pounds 11 ounces. She had gained 1 whole pound since her last weight check just 2 weeks before!

The top of her head still smells just like a new baby and she still has a lot of that same soft hair that she did when she was born. She lost her belly button stump just a week after she was born, which also surprised us.

She can be a little particular with her likes and dislikes. She DOES NOT like one bit to be cold, and she will let you know by crying pretty loud. However, once she is warm again, she calms down quickly. She doesn't like having a dirty diaper, but she also dislikes having her diaper changed. I guess one day she'll realize that she can't have it both ways!

She has a little bit of eczema on both cheeks that we are treating with cortisone cream. It is working really well and the eczema patches are getting better every day. She also has reflux which caused her to spit up formula out of her nose. The reflux also made her cough, but the doctor prescribed some prevacid, which she takes at night before bed and it is helping quite a bit. I have noticed that she isn't coughing hardly at all anymore and the spitting up has gotten a lot better.

[Baby Girl] also has some issues with constipation. However, 1 ounce of prune juice in 1 bottle a day takes care of that problem really quickly. Man, can that girl poop when she gets going!

[Baby Girl] is a very easy going baby. She is content to sit and watch our other children play. She gets lots of hugs and kisses from our 2 year old daughter, 2 year old son and 4 year old daughter. She loves to be in the swing, watching and "talking" to the other kids.

When she first came home from the hospital she wanted to sleep with the light on and sitting propped up. She would have it no other way!

She is precious and beautiful and perfect.

I wanted to share with you about [Baby Girl] because I know that I would want to know these things about my baby. I also want to share with you WHY we chose to become foster parents. Our goal was NOT to steal other people's babies, or even to feel good about ourselves.

We followed through with becoming foster parents because of our relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ. We felt, very strongly, that He was calling us to become foster parents. As we prayed, read our Bible and talked with other people, God confirmed for us that this was something we were suppose to do.

I haven't always been a Christian, though. I had some very hard times in my life during high school and I have made (and continue to make) a lot of mistakes. In fact, it wasn't until I was pregnant with our oldest daughter in 2003 that I really understood what it meant to know God. When I realized that I had a baby coming, I knew that I couldn't be the person that I wanted to be all by myself. I needed help. I couldn't find that help from any person here on this earth. I felt like something was missing, and that something was God. Through pure mercy, God allowed me to be saved through the life, death and conquering of that death by His Son, Jesus Christ. Being "saved" doesn't make me perfect, but it does make me forgiven and redeemed from an eternity separated from a God who whole heartedly loves me. It's more than going to church on Sundays or being "good" its about trying my best to live the life I know God wants me to live and being able to break free from the things that continue to pull me down. I have had struggles and I still do, but God is the one that helps me through.

I am not claiming to know your situation or your view on religion or God. However, it is my prayer that if you do not know who Jesus is, that you will seek Him with your whole heart. I know that a life with Jesus can bring you and [Baby Girl] back together again. Being a Christian doesn't mean that you will never have problems, but that when problems come, you can find strength in God and a desire to push through them.

Basically, I just wanted you to know that there is a God who LOVES you, more than you could ever imagine. He is REAL and powerful and He desperately wants you to know Him. It is because of His love and His work in my life that I am able to love myself and other people. It is because of Him, that when I look at your precious, sweet and perfect [Baby Girl] that I am able to love her as much as I love my own birth children. I can promise you that it is not anything special within me, but the power of Jesus Christ who has captured my heart.

I am praying for you and [Baby Girl] and that you will know that she is being cared for and loved, until you are able to see her again.

Many blessings,

Jessica
[Baby Girl's] Foster Mom

Can I just tell you that it was the hardest letter I've ever written? You see, I know the power of having the Savior in your life. I know that this could change everything. I know that He can redeem her from the life that she is living. I know that this could mean letting go of Baby Girl one day.

Therefore, I'm begging for your prayers. Please pray, along with me, that she receives this letter for what it is, my heart reaching out to hers. Pray that the spirit with which I wrote this letter is pure, good, honest and Christ filled.

You see, I'm not sure about my intentions. Yes, I desperately want her to know the love of the Savior. However, another part of me hopes that if I show her Christ's love, then she will see my heart and know that Baby Girl is in the best place, therefore relinquishing her rights immediately. I know it twisted.

Please believe me, that above all else I desire for Baby Girl's mother to live life fully surrendered to the Lord. But, a small part of me wants her to do that AND allow me to be Baby Girl's mother.

So as Monday approaches and I hand this woman a chunk of my heart, please beg the Lord to prepare her. Pray that He begins to draw her to Him, that she feels the ache in her heart that only Jesus can fill and that I water a seed that has already been planted.

I know it's not by accident that I feel this way. Today, as I drove the kids home from gymnastics, I heard the DJ read the following scripture:

So whatever you say or whatever you do, remember that you will be judged by the law that sets you free. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.
James 2:12-13

I love it when God is so clear, don't you? It's all about mercy.

Thanks for the prayers.

Who's Who?

We have our desktop set up so that the screen saver is our pictures on a slideshow. It shows every picture on our computer going all the way back before we had kids (Did I mention we've had our desktop since before we got married 6 years ago? Now you know why Gizmo is such a treat!).

As I walked through the kitchen yesterday, a picture flashed across the screen. I had to go back and look at it because I couldn't tell who it was...Baby D or Lucas. So, I thought I'd let ya'll decide. Since TECHNICALLY I can't put Baby D's face on here, you may never know the truth. Guess you'll have to just trust your instincts. ;)

The freaky part is that when I went to look up these pictures I found that they were taken almost exactly 2 years apart. Lucas' was taken on 12-8-06 and Baby D's on 12-3-08. Craziness huh? So, without further ado, I ask you...

Who's Who? Try your best to figure out which little boy is which. One is Lucas at around 6.5 months old and the other is Baby D at 7 months old. For both boys, this is (was) their favorite past time, jumping, not dozing, in the Johnny Jump Up. Happy Guessing!

Photo #1

Photo #2

PS-If you know us and have physically been to our house, this will be a no brainer. Try not to spoil the fun for everyone!

My New Friend Gizmo

I've been begging Luke to buy me a laptop now for about 8-10 months (oh it's so close, let's just call it a year). At any rate, since we follow Dave Ramsey's guide and pay only cash, no credit, we've opted to wait and save up. Whew, it's been a long wait.

First we bought Big Red, which depleted our savings. Then, several small things took bites out as well. Then there was Christmas and, well...let's just say our savings account will be thrilled to see our tax return come February.

We got so many gift cards for Christmas that Luke finally said yes. We purchased a laptop at the Dell Outlet store (which for the life of me I don't know why I'd ever buy a personalized one now), and I anxiously checked my Dell account for a tracking number that never showed. I even called the Dell folks to see if they could help me track my laptop. Notta.

Wouldn't you know, FedEx would decide to deliever my new laptop just as I was 1 wipe into a smelly diaper. I had not yet showered, had on no bra, was wearing my glasses and looked, well...interesting.

Nonetheless, my new laptop loved me just the same. It was a sweet introduction and I briefly thought about grabbing my camera and taking a picture of the FedEx guy walking up to the door, but I didn't want to freak him out any further (I mean, since I looked so fab and all).

Tearing into my new toy

Isn't she lovely? Let's call her Gizmo, okay?

So now, as I sit in my bed, and write his post with Gizmo on my lap, I realize that this could evolve into a bad, bad thing. Oh well, I'm always looking for ways to test my self-control...wait, no I'm not.

Marshmallow-ey Delicious

About once a week, we let one of the big kids stay up a little after the others go to bed and that one gets "special time" with Mommy and Daddy. Last night, it was Ashlee's turn.

Ashlee's #1 favorite thing is anything involving a baby, but since all the babies were asleep (well, sorta...Baby Girl horned in on special time) we opted for Ashlee's #2 favorite thing, EATING.

Yes, my little 26 pound Drama Queen can pack away some food. She almost eats as much as Elizabeth and Lucas combined. It's a sight to behold.

So, last night we decided to roast marshmallows. (I just got spell checked for marshmallows...why is there an "a" in mallow? Don't we pronounce it "mellow"?)

Ashlee LOVED the 1 on 1 attention, or rather 2 on 1 attention, and even more the candle and the 'mallows.

This first one hardly made it through the roasting process. You can see full cheeks and another ready to be roasted.

We are all coming down with a cold and at one point Ashlee coughed and blew the candle out. Luke and I got a good laugh, but Ashlee didn't think it was quite as funny. She wanted us to relight the candle immediately and insisted,

"No guys! Don't waf. Dat not funny!"

Which of course, made us laugh harder.

I thoroughly enjoy our special time with each of our kids. With so much going on during the day, I often feel as though we don't get to adequately give them our undivided attention. Having "special time" helps tremendously. And before you think we stole this idea from Jon and Kate Plus 8, just know that we did this LONG before I was ever addicted to that show!

Here are some pics from our "special time" with Ashlee. Hope you have a 'mallow-ey day!

Dad showing Ash the proper roasting techniques. He was a boyscout after all, and last night I heard about a mystery "roasting badge." I'm gonna have to google that for verification.

Blowing out Daddy's 'mallow. We only did this 17,356 times. Each time she'd blow it out, she'd immediately say,
"Do dat again Dad!"

Perfecting her technique.

Baby Girl's New Case Plan

I just got an email from one of our social workers. Praise God! They are recommending Termination of Parental Rights (TPR) and Adoption for our sweet Baby Girl!

We return to court this coming Monday, January 12th and at that time they will make the recommendation to the judge.

I can hardly believe this is happening so quickly. Still yet, the judge could rule that it be a concurrent plan (that means still reunification and the beginnings of TPR) but the fact that DSS is moving her case along so quickly is amazing.

We WILL have to face birth mom in court on Monday, it's a sure thing. So please be in prayer that I won't cry right there in front of her.

On another note, guess who's 7 months old today?

When we got him he looked like this:

(I can show you this now because he looks NOTHING like this)

But now he's a big, fat, happy (and currently sleeping..thank God) baby boy who is desperate to sit up and now holds his own bottle!

This 7 months has flown by so fast.