Being a Mom is tough

I just love this post by Courtney.

She's so right, you know. Being a Mom is tough. And you don't need a qualifier of six (or more) kids to admit that. Being a Mom was tough for me when Elizabeth was just an infant. It was SO tough. And, even though I have 6 times the kids that I had way back then, it continues to be just as challenging, just in different ways.

Being a Mom of 1 is equally as difficult as being a Mom of 5 or 6 or 10. Sure the challenges are different as you welcome more children into your home. But I'd venture to guess that if I could play back for myself a video taped day of me, when we just had Elizabeth, Lucas and Ashlee (half the number of kids I have now) that most of the challenges I faced then, I am still facing.

Just because I've acquired lots of children doesn't mean I've figured out this job of wife and mother. I still struggle to keep my house clean. I still have a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. I still have a hard time cutting out a part of me for my husband at the end of the day. I still struggle to find time in God's word. And those are just a few of my many, many struggles. I could go on but I won't because that's not my intention for this post.

The point is, being a Mom is tough.

And all too often, we Moms don't make it easy on ourselves or each other. We impose judgment and cast disapproving glances at one another. We compare ourselves to someone who appears to have it all together and then beat ourselves up over our perceived flaws. We see Mothers who have perfect children and then wrestle with our own kids, begging them, if only in our minds, to be like so-and-so. We wonder why in the world that Mother made that choice with her child and then we wait to see if it will backfire on her.

Being a Mom around other Moms is tough.

Why do we do that to ourselves and to each other? Why don't we just encourage each other and grow with each other rather than playing this game of compare and contrast?

I think it's because we are too afraid of other people seeing our faults and then, later, using them against us. At least that's how I feel. Sometimes I'm too afraid to admit that I haven't dusted since we moved (which was March 1st, if you're keeping track). Sometimes I'm too concerned with the comments I'll get if I admit that I want to get into the car and drive away, in any direction other than my house, without my children in the backseats. Because, after all, it was my choice to have all these kids, wasn't it?

But I'm not perfect. And, I'd guess that you aren't either. And I'd even go further to say that I bet you and I struggle with the exact same things most days. Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, whether you have 1 kid or you have 12 kids, I'd guess that at the end of the day you and I both (finally) sit down and think, "Crap! I can't believe I didn't get ___________ again today!" (Insert: the laundry done, my quiet time, my house cleaned, that project finished etc, etc, etc.)

Life is hard and being a Mom makes it that much more.

So, I'd like to use this post for us Moms (or Dads, if any actually read and want to comment) to encourage each other. I'd like for us to openly uplift each other and, in turn, recognize an area that we are struggling. I'm not asking for deep, dark secrets just the average. Just give me something of surface value if nothing else.

Here are the rules...First you list a way you are struggling to fulfill your role as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. It doesn't have to be a deep, personal something just an everyday struggle.

THEN,

you list a way that you think that you are rockin' it as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. Feel free to also add a note of advice or encouragement to a commenter before you. But be sure to end on the positive, mmmkay?

For example, if someone above me in the comments said that they were struggling to find a way to NOT loose socks in the laundry I might offer to them what I have found is currently working for our family.

Which is..I've started taking a mesh, lingerie bag and hanging it beside the dirty laundry basket. EVERY SINGLE SOCK that does not belong to myself or my husband goes into the bag. When it's full, I zip it and toss it in the next load of laundry. At the end, all the socks SHOULD be in the bag. Unless your dryer really does eat socks, then you're in a heap of trouble.

Then I tell you how I'm struggling...

I can't figure out a way to stay on top of folding and putting away clean laundry. It just accumulates in a steady pile mountain on our love seat.

And how I'm rockin' it...

I didn't feed my kids McDonald's more than once last week (See, I told you it could be simple!)

or the more profound might be that Luke and I are in the process of purging our house of unnecessary clothing and toys and CRAP and it feels oh-so-good.

See? Simple. And I really know I could use some encouragement and some counsel on all the challenges that come with being a Mom.

So, ladies (or gents) what do you say? Are you in? I sure hope so because I'm already looking forward to your comments! I need to know I'm not the only imperfect Mother and I could sure glean from your wisdom.

What will WE do?

Well, I was going to post today about my frustrations with homeschooling my 4.5 year old with my 2.5 year olds acting like crazy people (and by crazy I mean continual fit throwing for over an hour).

However, I saw this video on the Bowers' adoption blog. I am now sitting here with tears all over my face, streaming onto my lap, blurry vision and a broken heart.

Warning: This video contains images that may not be suitable for all people. These children are severely malnourished and crippled.

The only question that remains is:

What will YOU do, now that you know?

What will I do?

A Season or A Spell?

I've been going through a dry spell lately. Hopefully, I'm not the only believer on the planet who experiences this, so some of you can relate. Basically, I've not made time for God lately. Other things, that are so obviously not important, have edged their way into my time with Him. The part that really perturbs me is that it is stupid stuff. You know, things like creating a new blog header, cleaning my house, or better yet, napping. I feel like I can almost justify the napping considering that I have a newborn in the house. Just last night, Baby D decided that he wanted to be awake from 3:00am - 4:45am. He wasn't fussy, he just wanted to be awake and be held. Part of me can almost justify the cleaning, have you been to my house lately? However, I know that even these things, justifiable as they may be, are just another thing separating me from the blessings I could be receiving from time with Him.

A few years ago, I honestly don't remember if it was after Elizabeth was born or when the twins were born, my friend Emily and I were talking about being a mom and having quiet time (or for me, the lack thereof). Emily, being the wise, wise woman she is, offered me a different perspective. She said, "Jessica, in this season of your life, God truly knows the desires of your heart. He knows how much you have going on. Make your day constant worship to Him, while you mother your children." That spoke such volumes to me. I know that God cares about details because He's shown me that time and time again. Yet, this time it's different.

Yes, I'm suffering from lack of sleep. Yes, I have 4 children under 4 in my home. But in all honesty, those things aren't what's keeping me from Him. It's purely me. I feel like I go through spurts of intense study. I will go weeks and immerse myself in God's word, gulping in the freshness of the Spirit that is feeding me as much as I can take. Then, without warning, it fades. I begin to go a day or two without picking up my Bible. Those two days turn into a week, and before I know it, it's Sunday morning and I'm frantically searching the house for my Bible, because I have no clue where I last put it. Finally, I discover it, still in the car from last Sunday.

Where is the balance in my life? Where can I find that perfect harmony between too much and not enough? How can I orchestrate my days so that God is my #1 priority? Out loud I say that God is at the top of my ever growing list. However, my actions do not truly portray that. I certainly put my family, house and even computer time ahead of my Savior. As I struggle with it all, I am reminded of my life verse. Philippians 3:12-14 pretty much hits me like a ton of bricks each and every time I read it.

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
~The Message

When I read those words, I'm reminded just how far I've come in my walk. I'm reminded that when I first began, I would go months without reading my Bible, and never feel convicted until someone or something pointed it out. Now, a few days without my God time and I'm thirsting for it. Maybe I go through drys spells so that I can see how far I've come. Maybe I go through them to see how much further I have to go. Either way, I know that I'm a work in progress. My walk with Christ changes daily. I am truly off and running, and I'm not turning back. Now....where's my Bible?

Mom And The Rack Of Many Hats

I have recently gotten into a debate on another blog. I won't go into details of the debate, but I will say it has caused me to think about my actions more and how people view Christ in me. I started thinking about all the different "hats" I wear. You know the ordinary ones; mom, cook, chauffeur, wife, daughter, maid, etc., etc. In the serenity of the shower this morning, I started thinking, "Is Jesus written on each of my hats? Do I exude love, faithfulness and Christ when wearing each of these hats? As I went throughout my day today, I thought about what each hat said as I wore it.


The first hat I wore this morning was a waste management hat. When I opened the door to the twins' room, I found Lucas, completely naked in his crib. He had taken off his pj's and diaper. Unfortunately, his diaper contained his morning poop. He had smeared, thrown and smushed it all over himself and his bed and everything he touched was a poopy brown mess. As I scrubbed him in the bathtub, then disinfected and cleaned his bed, I thought about my role. Glamorous? No. Necessary? Yes! Such was also the life of Jesus.
Next up, breakfast. After disinfecting the bathtub, I put the girls in the tub and took Lucas to the table to get breakfast. While bathing the girls, Lucas proceeds to reject his food. Not just in a casual way, but in the only fashion that a 23 month old knows how to do, by throwing it as far from his reach as possible. After offering several detestable options, we settled on a chocolate chip muffin.

I resume my duties washing the girls in the bathtub only to return to the kitchen to find that I must now wear another hat.

Lucas has apparently now rejected the muffin, but not before he decided to crumble it and disperse it all over the table top and floor. Needless to say, I was not happy with my little man. So far this morning, he's caused more mess than he's worth. I set into cleaning up his second mess of the day. I wasn't too "Merry."
(I couldn't find an appropriate image when I searched "Maid's hat" so this will have to do.)
Next, I load all 3 kids into the car and head out the door. I play chauffeur for the duration of our ride to the City Lake Park. The big difference between my "clients" and those that pay, other than the monetary gain, is the noise level. Today was no exception. My kids are either full tilt or quiet as church mice. The latter only happens when we are watching a movie.

We arrive at the park just in time for lunch. It was a volunteer picnic for volunteers for the hospital. Since I'm on the Breastfeeding Support team as a volunteer I was invited, along with all 3 kids. It was a little chaotic, but fun to see the other moms on the team and especially their kids.


While at the park, Ashlee bumps her chin. Therefore, a new hat is adorned. This is one of my least favorites because usually I feel helpless. I wonder if Christ looks at my "boo-boos" and feels the same way?




Now it's time for snack. We're getting loaded back up into the car and Elizabeth let's out an ear piercing scream. I sprint around the van, sure she's smashed a body part in the door, only to see her entire bag of doritos spread all over the ground. She's not hurt, physically, but she's crushed. Her snack is gone. Time for a new hat, but this one I usually can't wear appropriately: MAGICIAN!


We complete our afternoon of "fun" when we arrive back safely at home. I torture our kids (I'm not googling "torture hat") and make them take a nap. Meanwhile, I try to take a break. I'm exhausted.

A couple hours later, my wonderful husband shows up and now it's hat time again. I want to be a pleasant wife for him and be happy and joyful to see him. I try my best to let him know how much I appreciate it each and everyday because he gives me the option to stay at home with our kids.

This is my favorite time of day because I'm with the people I love most.


As I reflect on the day, I wonder if Jesus was written on each hat I wore today. Can others see Him in me? Can they see Him as I change from person to person, fulfilling each task I've been assigned?

I know that our Savior wore the most painful hat of all. I know that he bore the burden for me and for that I'm truly grateful. Of all the hats I wear, I'm glad this one will never rest on my brow.