Das Not Funny! Friday: Mike, Mail and Wally

It's been a while, huh? SO many funny things happened these last few weeks. Too bad I only remember about 3 of them. Geesh, I love the memory lapses that come with being pregnant.

There have been several things over the last few weeks that caused me to chuckle or out right laugh out loud. So settle in and enjoy this week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. Not sure what Das Not Funny! Friday is about? Click here for details.

While I was out of town I got to spend much too little time with my BFF Amanda and her three precious children. (She has a husband too, but I don't think she'd appreciate me calling him "precious." Actually, I don't think he'd like it that much either. And now, I'm feeling incredibly uncomfortable. Aaaannnnnyyyyyway....)

The first time her oldest daughter Addie saw me adoring Annabelle the following conversation took place.

Me: "Hey Annabelle." (insert lots of mushy baby talk that I won't repeat)

Annabelle politely cracks an eye open to look at me.

Addie: "You know what she's sayin'?"

Me: "Um. No. I guess I don't."

Addie: "She's sayin' 'I'm watchin' you Wazothski. Allllllllllways watchin'.'"

---------

Elizabeth and I are resting during nap time this week. As a commercial comes across the screen she leans over to me and whispers,

"Mom. I loooooooooove Walmart."

"You do?" I respond.

"Yep. They've got all the best toys."

---------

One night while I was out of town I called and got on the phone with a frantic Elizabeth. She was sobbing about some recent injustice no doubt doubt handed to her by her brother or sister. I'm trying to calm her down, from 750 miles away and her wails go something like...

"Mooooommmmyyyy! I miss you. And.....Bubbie.....mean......Ashey.......not fair! I'm so saaaaad..... (sob, sob, sob).

Hey! Remember you said you'd mail me a letter? When you gonna do that?"

Me: "I'll mail it tomorrow."

Elizabeth: "Okay, well, I gotta go. Bye!"

Oh how I wish I could remember more because there were several times since I've been home that I've laughed hysterically and then thought, "Man! I need to blog that" only to forget again.

So, if you'd like to play along with this week's Das Not Funny! Friday it's really simple. All you have to do is write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post. Link back here and then enter your info into MckLinky.

And (insert dramatic drumroll) coming up early next week I have a SUPERB surprise that I cannot wait to show you all. It might even cause some of you lurkers to show yourselves! It's fun people.

Y'all have a good weekend.

Download, rinse, repeat...

I got home LATE Tuesday evening and was greeted by my wonderful husband and the squeals of our three eldest children. It is great to be home.

Then, eager to catch up on blogs and check emails, I turned on our computer only to confirm what my husband had already stated that, "The computer was broken."

A phone call to the Dell company and an overnight package later and we have a brand new hard drive. But, with that, we lost all of our pictures and all of our software was wiped out.

So, as I rebuild our computer for the next couple of days, I also hope to blog about my amazingly long, wonderful, relaxing trip.

Until then...I'll be downloading software and restarting, downloading software and restarting, downloading software and.....

Friday night in the (not so) big city...

Hey peeps. Sorry for not posting a Das Not Funny! Friday post today. I had every intention of stealing borrowing my sisters laptop and posting one, but I didn't. Instead, I slept.

Word on the street (and from my awesome husband) is that Luke and the kids are doing remarkably well. School is being done, playdates are being had and so far everyone is happy, healthy and missing Mommy.

I'm headed off to my high school Alma Mater tonight for a high school football game. I'm both excited and a little apprehensive. If you've read my blog for long you know that I don't have the fondest memories of high school. If you've not been around here for long and you are interested, click on the old photo of Luke and I in my left sidebar under The Story of Us to get somewhat caught up.

Tomorrow, my sister and I are heading up to my old college campus to meet up with a great friend from college. I'm having a great time catching up with family, my BFF and friends, but I miss my man and kids like CRAZY.

Y'all have a good weekend.

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

Tomorrow, I head off for an almost week long vacation all by myself. Yep, you read that right, alone. I'm heading off to see my Dad, Sister, BFF Amanda and a few other long, lost friends for 6 days, alone. Manning the children and holding down the homefront will be my wonderful husband extraordinaire.

A month or so ago when I booked my airline ticket I had no apprehension about leaving the kids and Luke here. In fact, I was almost giddy when I clicked "purchase" for my flight. However, as the day creeps closer I'm starting to have some anxiety. I mean, it will be Luke with the 5 kids, all by himself for nearly 6 days. Day and night. That's a lot for anyone to handle. I know it would be pushing the limits of my sanity. And, Luke doesn't want any help.

And while I'm sleeping in and being pampered (because I will totally play the pregnancy card approximately 1,000 times with my Dad) my sweet husband will be waking up early and going non-stop all day long. Oh sweet stomach please stop that churning.

I know Luke is capable of tending to the needs of all of our very, small children. I guess I just know how incredibly ready I am to see him each and every day at 6:00pm and he will not get that reprieve of another person coming in to divide and conquer.

And, if I'm being totally honest with all of you I have two other very real concerns. The first is that I would like for my husband to be mentally stable when I get back. I don't desire for this to be 6 days of you-know-what for him. The second is a tad more self centered. What if I get back and he's completely refreshed, the house is clean, our children are more educated and he doesn't even hint that it was one bit of a struggle?

I guess I'd prefer for the next 6 days of his life to be carefree and filled with joy. But, selfishly, I'd like to be missed and even welcomed home with tired, weary arms. I only say that because I know that when (and I say when because after these 6 days I will require Luke to get away for a few days) my husband goes on a vacation, I KNOW without hesitation that I will welcome him home tired and possibly totally worn out.

So, if you know Luke I'm gonna ask you to pray for him. And if you're a good man friend and you're reading this post, I'm even going to politely ask beg you to stop by and offer him some company. The kids go to bed at 8:00pm. I'm sure he'd enjoy a friendly knock on the door about 8:30. Even better if you bring a movie and some snacks.

Das Not Funny! Friday: Stinky, Jelly and Worship

Welcome Friday! The last couple weeks I've taken some time off from writing new Das Not Funny! Friday posts. You'd think I'd have a TON of new things my kids have said. But, I don't have as much as you'd think. My pregnant brain forgets so much these days. Here are the few I could remember. I hope they make you chuckle, just a little bit.

After our ultrasound on Wednesday, the kids had lots of questions, mostly about the actual ultrasound itself. The doctor was very kind and explained every step of the process, including putting the "jelly" on my tummy. As I was wiping my tummy clean from the jelly, the kids asked if they could touch it. The doctor kindly asked if the kids wanted some for themselves.

All 3 big kids held out a single finger and he applied a small dollop of "jelly" to their fingertips. No sooner had he applied Ashlee's than the following words came out of her mouth,

"Jelly! Can I eat it?"

For being so small, food is ALWAYS on her mind.

---------

Baby Girl is known around our house for her ability to produce some excessively stinky diapers. How someone so small produces such a fowl, lingering stench I'll never know. Nonetheless, Elizabeth came over to kiss her after Baby Girl had woken up from a nap. Here's what followed,

"Hey pretty girl. Did you take a good...... WOW! YOU'RE STINKIN' THIS PLACE UP, MISSY!"

---------

On the way home from Community Bible Study yesterday, we were listening to the song "What Do I Know of Holy?" by Addison Road. Elizabeth was being so sweet singing along and even raising her hands in the back of the van really worshiping to her new favorite song. As I watched her tears burned the back of my eyes. Watching it all from the rear view mirror, scan my eyes over to Lucas who is mimicking his older sister. Finally, I look at Ashlee who is sandwiched between the two. On her face is the largest scowl I've ever seen. She's so put off at her current situation that I couldn't contain myself and I burst out laughing and crying at the same time.

---------

Aaron continues to display a temper that is uniquely his own. After being reprimanded or having an item taken from him he will run away often shrieking his disapproval. Elizabeth has apparently picked up on my apathetic attitude toward his screeches as she will now frequently say to Aaron, as he walks away,

"Oh, you are SO pitiful. Poor neglected baby. Oh, you'll get over it."


Won't you join me and write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post? If you do, I'd love to read it. Simply enter your info into MckLinky so I will know where to find you!

Y'all have a great weekend!

Ultrasound Today & Some Updates

Little Beaver Baby #6 looked perfect during today's ultrasound. The doctor did a very quick and thorough ultrasound of the baby's head, spine, heart, abdomen and femur. Luke and I decided to NOT find out this baby's gender ahead of time, despite the protests from many, many friends and family. Guess you'll just have to keep reading until March!

We took the three big kids and they loved seeing their baby brother/sister on the big TV screen. Just for the record, all three big kids along with myself believe that this baby is a boy. Luke is BEYOND convinced that it is a girl. It's been the topic of daily debate in our house and I'm sure it will continue to be until he/she gets here.

Here's the only photo we got today. The doctor couldn't get a good profile picture because of the way the baby was laying. So, this was the best we got. The baby is laying face up, with his head on the left, booty on the right and her legs wrapped around the top of the picture by his face, with her knees right by his nose. Limber one, huh? You may have to click on the photo to enlarge it just a bit. That black area you see in her abdomen is the stomach. (Yes, I know I just interchanged his and her. I'd rather do that than say "it".)


In other news, we did receive an offer on our house and after some negotiating, we reached an agreed price. However, the offer is contingent upon the buyers selling their current home, which was just recently listed with our realtor. The offer expires on December 8th, which means if they do not have a contract on their home by that time, our contract is voided.

This is good for us, because we didn't want to be closing and moving around the time the baby will be born. Since it is taking 45-60 days for new mortgages to close, getting a contract after mid-December would put us closing and moving mid-February, early-March which would also be baby time. If the contract is voided as of December 8th, our house will be off of the market until after the baby comes.

Plus, even if they do sell their house, our house still has to appraise, they must secure a loan and our home must pass their standards for an inspection. So even still, we are not holding our breath.

That's about it. Hope y'all have a great Wednesday.

Party Pictures

For first birthdays we've never had BIG parties for our kids. Usually, it's just immediate family. However, Baby Girl's birthday was extra special because we had grandparents in from out of town. I hope you can see the sheer joy on Baby Girl's face. She had an excellent time being the center of attention.

By the way, I'm SO over not showing her face. I mean, she's so incredibly close to being legally free for adoption that I'm just gonna show off her beautiful face and continue to be as discreet as possible with giving away any identifying information (not that I disclose much identifying information about us anyway, I guess).

Anyway, ENJOY!

All the Beaver kids, personalities and all.

Run 4 Revolution

Y'all, I'm gonna be real honest here. I hate running. No, let me rephrase that, I HATE running. Don't get me wrong I don't dislike physical activity in general (despite my plump appearance), but running just isn't my thang.

I tried it about a year ago and I think it last about 2 weeks. You see, it's always been a strong dislike of mine. When I was in college I was on the volleyball team. In addition to our 2-3 hour a day practices, we'd also run 2 to 3 times a week. During pre-season, we were required to run a timed mile and in order to play, we were to run that mile in 8 minutes. I know, that doesn't sound like much to some of you crazy people who enjoy pounding your feet on the pavement. But volleyball players are not typically runners.

We would run our timed mile every-other-morning (at 7am) during preseason, each time with the goal of 8 minutes. EVERY time we had our timed mile my alarm would go off, I'd slide out of bed and the dry heaving would begin. I would dry heave as I got dressed, put my hair in a messy ponytail and tied up my shoes. The dry heaving would get increasingly dramatic as I walked the 75 yards across a portion of campus (it was a small campus y'all) to the track. As we ran our "warm up lap" I would dry heave further, sometimes making my team mates snarl their lips and run away from me.

Dry heaving continued until I was 3/4 of the way through my first timed lap. Then, I was fine. I'd push through and finish my mile, usually within the 8 minutes required. Truthfully, once I was into my 3rd lap, I was fine and knew that I was going to make my time.

So you see, I HATE running. But even though I had a profuse hatred of running, I bit the bullet and did it because I had a goal, a purpose even. Without making that 8 minute mile I was not allowed playing time. So, I ran because something depended on my running. As I continued through my 4 years of college volleyball, it became easier. Mostly because I knew that not making my timed mile was not an option.

A year ago when I started this whole, "I'm gonna run" bidness, my main goal was to just "get in shape." Well, then we got another newborn (Baby Girl) and finding making the time just fell to the wayside.

But now, I have a reason again to run, or, um....jaulk, as will be my case. My multi-talented friend Lindsey and my African Soul Mate, Lindy have founded a new organization called Run 4 Revolution. Run 4 Revolution is a worldwide running club that raises awarenss and funding for Child Trafficking. Seriously people, if there was ever a reason for this tub-o-jello to run, it's this.

When I first heard about it, I seriously thought, "Crap. I'll never be able to contribute to that. Ever. Afterall, I HATE running." But then, I read more about it. I was slowly getting reeled in and then I saw it...their tag line. It got me.

Run 4 Revolution

...Run like somone's life depended on it.

Wow. Back when I was running all those timed miles in college I used to joke that it would be so much easier for me to run faster if someone would chase me with a knife (morbid, I know). The truth is, running like your life is at stake makes running, well...easy.

Hopefully, I can begin walking now, then maybe jaulking, then once this baby gets here, running...just like someone's life depended on it.

Won't you try running or jaulking or even walking with me...because someone's life does depend on it. If you can't do any of the above, won't you check out Run 4 Revolution's website and consider sponsoring one of their already active team members who are running in half and/or full marathons.

For more info and/or to hear straight from the horses mouthes, check out Lindsey's blog or Lindy's blog.

Now, with all this talk of running, my gag reflex is in hyperactive mode. I think I'm gonna go grab a slice of pie or something and plan out my walking route.

One Year Ago Today...

As I write this, it is October 8th. One year ago today I had no idea that I would be sitting on the verge of a day that would be celebrated for years to come in our family.

As you are reading this, I will be thinking about the miracle that is our youngest daughter. One year ago today she was born at a local hospital without my knowing. She was most likely placed in the arms of the woman who carried her in her womb for approximately 9 months. God allowed her to survive things that most babies should not because He knew what joy she would bring to our family.

As you read this, I will be remembering that one year ago today I got a call from our social worker telling me about a newborn baby that needed a placement. I called Luke at work and asked him about taking a newborn, knowing that Aaron was only 4 months old. We knew it was crazy, so we prayed and waited. Finally, my heart could no longer take thinking about a newborn little girl, laying in a hospital, most likely all alone.

Today we celebrate all the joy that Baby Girl brings to our family. We celebrate her laughter, her two-toothed smile. We celebrate her squeals and shrieks of exhiliration. We celebrate the way she loves her siblings and they love her back.

Today, we celebrate our youngest daughter and the way she completes our family.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl. We love you so very, very much!

In other news, my BFF Amanda will deliver her second daughter today. Please keep her in your prayers. I am so excited that her new little one and Baby Girl will share a birthday!

(Shhhhh! We'll keep this picture our little secret.)

Baby Girl's TPR Update and More

I found out earlier this week that Baby Girl's TPR (Termination of Parental Rights) Order was filed (which is a really good thing). However, several things were incorrect on the order which means it now has to be rewritten and re-signed by the judge. It could take several more months for all of that to happen (which is a not-so-good thing).

That means, instead of her being legally free for adoption by Christmas, it's looking more like February.

In other news, the people came back to look at our house for a 2nd time last night and are asking loads of questions about everything from plumbing (like we know those answers) to general home maintenance. We are hoping they will make an offer soon. Once we have an offer and an agreed price, Luke and I will begin discussing our options and whether we want to buy something else or rent for a while.

Lastly, Luke's Dad, step-mom and step-sister come in today for a long-weekend visit. The kids (and Luke and I) are so excited! We have big plans for the weekend that include Baby Girl's FIRST birthday party, soccer for Elizabeth and maybe a few family photos.

It's looking to be an awesome weekend.

Home For Sale

As you may know, we have our house on the market. On Sunday we had our second ever showing and the folks seem really interested. They are coming again tomorrow night for a second look and both our realtor and their realtor think they will make an offer.

I'm not getting my hopes real high. There are so many things that have to fall into place before we can kiss this pile 'o debt goodbye begin frantically searching for a new place live. We have to reach a negotiated price, there have to be no hang ups with the inspection or appraisal. They must secure a loan. And finally, closing must go through.

So, I'm trusting. Although it's really hard for me to think about moving from this house because I really love it so much, I know that putting our house on the market was an act of obedience. And if it is God's desire for us to be living someplace else by Christmas time, then we will.

Das Not Funny! Friday: Flashbacks and 'Coons

I'm ashamed to admit that Luke and I got our money's worth for whatever my grandma originally paid for our VCR last night. I mean, I've had that same VCR since I was in high school, but last night grandma's $25.00 was well spent. We put the kids to be early and settled into a night of VCR heaven that proved to disturb my dreams in mind-baffling ways. After 4 hours of TV drama, we called it quits and shut 'er down so our precious VCR could rest until next week's Thursday night adventures.

I say all of that to say, I don't have a shiny new Das Not Funny! Friday post. Sorry peeps. Instead, I'd like to offer you something I've read lately that made me laugh out loud and a couple of my favorite flashback Das Not Funny! Friday posts.

First up is my friend Wendi. If you haven't read this post of hers that deals with 'coons and plant watering, it's a MUST read. Seriously, only the in the south people, only in the south. Go read it now, you won't be disappointed.

Next, I've picked the following flashback Das Not Funny! Friday posts because, well, they're still happening around here on some level. Here's the first one, originally posted on May 7, 2009.

Lucas and I headed out to Walmart to pick up some things one afternoon. As we were walking through the parking lot, we approached an elderly lady loading her purchases into the trunk of her car. She was wearing a hat much like this one (minus those dope shades):

In his typical, louder-than-necessary, voice he says to me, "Mom! Look! A Cowboy!"

We've encountered cowboys before, but somehow, I didn't think this lady wanted to A) Be called a man. Or B) Entertain a (almost) 3 year old.

"No, honey, that's not a cowboy." I replied.

"Yep, it is Mom. A Grandma Cowboy!" he said with a squeal.

Back to the present people: Unfortunately, Lucas continues to think that anybody with any other head covering besides a baseball cap is a COWBOY! I've yet to convince him otherwise.

----------

Originally posted on May 1, 2009:

You know that you are kuntry when your (almost) 3 year old says,

"Mom. I nayde some chock chock may-yulk."

And, you're also kuntry if you know exactly what I just said without having to say it aloud to yourself 10 times.

----------

Finally, a flashback to the post that started it all. Originally posted on March 17, 2009 but still heard being sung loud and cheerful every time we are in the Big Red Beast...

For Christmas or Valentine's or some holiday, Luke's Aunt sent the kids a CD with a bunch of kids' song. We have learned several new songs including: Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, Zaccheaus, The B-I-B-L-E and a song called Praise Him! (which Elizabeth has alternately titled Everything That Has Breaf). This CD has become our theme music as we roll down the road in the Big Red Beast. I actually caught myself singing along the other day as I drove to the store, without the kids.

Recently we have started learning a new song, "Who Did Swallow Jonah?" The beginning goes a little something like....

Who did? Who did?
Who did? Who did?
Who did swallow, Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo...

Who did? Who did?
Who did? Who did?
Who did swallow, Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo...

Who did? Who did?
Who did? Who did?
Who did swallow, Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo...

Who did swallow Jonah down?

Well, being the musical genuises that my eldest children are, they LOVED this new song. After listening to it 4,924 times in a row I finally convinced them to listen to a few others, giving Jonah a break. Approximately 5 minutes later, I hear the following request from the back of the van...

"Pooted Mommy!"

"What?"

"Pooted!"

"Who pooted?"

"No. We wanna hear Pooted!"

"Excuse me?"

"Pooted swallow Jo, Jo, Jo, Jo!"

Crying and unable to drive, I turn it back to Pooted. (If you don't get it, sing the song above, outloud, in the loudest voice possible.)


There you go folks. Hope y'all have an awesome weekend. Don't forget to link your Das Not Funny! Friday posts below.