A Bout of Boat Fever

It's getting warm and we are all looking forward to summer! On Saturday afternoon, we took the boat down to the lake and went for a spin. (Click on pics to enlarge.)

There's no place like Nana's,
except her lake house!

Feeding the ducks


My favorite Men


Elizabeth helps PawPaw drive


Ashlee's turn


Lucas' turn...all boy!


Ashlee loved driving fast.
She's such a dare-devil!

We can't wait for summer!

Mom And The Rack Of Many Hats

I have recently gotten into a debate on another blog. I won't go into details of the debate, but I will say it has caused me to think about my actions more and how people view Christ in me. I started thinking about all the different "hats" I wear. You know the ordinary ones; mom, cook, chauffeur, wife, daughter, maid, etc., etc. In the serenity of the shower this morning, I started thinking, "Is Jesus written on each of my hats? Do I exude love, faithfulness and Christ when wearing each of these hats? As I went throughout my day today, I thought about what each hat said as I wore it.


The first hat I wore this morning was a waste management hat. When I opened the door to the twins' room, I found Lucas, completely naked in his crib. He had taken off his pj's and diaper. Unfortunately, his diaper contained his morning poop. He had smeared, thrown and smushed it all over himself and his bed and everything he touched was a poopy brown mess. As I scrubbed him in the bathtub, then disinfected and cleaned his bed, I thought about my role. Glamorous? No. Necessary? Yes! Such was also the life of Jesus.
Next up, breakfast. After disinfecting the bathtub, I put the girls in the tub and took Lucas to the table to get breakfast. While bathing the girls, Lucas proceeds to reject his food. Not just in a casual way, but in the only fashion that a 23 month old knows how to do, by throwing it as far from his reach as possible. After offering several detestable options, we settled on a chocolate chip muffin.

I resume my duties washing the girls in the bathtub only to return to the kitchen to find that I must now wear another hat.

Lucas has apparently now rejected the muffin, but not before he decided to crumble it and disperse it all over the table top and floor. Needless to say, I was not happy with my little man. So far this morning, he's caused more mess than he's worth. I set into cleaning up his second mess of the day. I wasn't too "Merry."
(I couldn't find an appropriate image when I searched "Maid's hat" so this will have to do.)
Next, I load all 3 kids into the car and head out the door. I play chauffeur for the duration of our ride to the City Lake Park. The big difference between my "clients" and those that pay, other than the monetary gain, is the noise level. Today was no exception. My kids are either full tilt or quiet as church mice. The latter only happens when we are watching a movie.

We arrive at the park just in time for lunch. It was a volunteer picnic for volunteers for the hospital. Since I'm on the Breastfeeding Support team as a volunteer I was invited, along with all 3 kids. It was a little chaotic, but fun to see the other moms on the team and especially their kids.


While at the park, Ashlee bumps her chin. Therefore, a new hat is adorned. This is one of my least favorites because usually I feel helpless. I wonder if Christ looks at my "boo-boos" and feels the same way?




Now it's time for snack. We're getting loaded back up into the car and Elizabeth let's out an ear piercing scream. I sprint around the van, sure she's smashed a body part in the door, only to see her entire bag of doritos spread all over the ground. She's not hurt, physically, but she's crushed. Her snack is gone. Time for a new hat, but this one I usually can't wear appropriately: MAGICIAN!


We complete our afternoon of "fun" when we arrive back safely at home. I torture our kids (I'm not googling "torture hat") and make them take a nap. Meanwhile, I try to take a break. I'm exhausted.

A couple hours later, my wonderful husband shows up and now it's hat time again. I want to be a pleasant wife for him and be happy and joyful to see him. I try my best to let him know how much I appreciate it each and everyday because he gives me the option to stay at home with our kids.

This is my favorite time of day because I'm with the people I love most.


As I reflect on the day, I wonder if Jesus was written on each hat I wore today. Can others see Him in me? Can they see Him as I change from person to person, fulfilling each task I've been assigned?

I know that our Savior wore the most painful hat of all. I know that he bore the burden for me and for that I'm truly grateful. Of all the hats I wear, I'm glad this one will never rest on my brow.

Mommy Wow! I'm A Big Kid Now...

Last night, Luke finally got the twins to sleep in their big kid beds for the 1st time. The toddler beds have been in their room for over a week now, but we never could get them to stay in them long enough to fall asleep. So, they've been sleeping in their cribs and just playing in the toddler beds.

Technically, Ashlee's bed is the white one and Lucas' is the brown, but apparently after the door was shut they quickly traded beds and then fell asleep.

*sigh*

Makes me so sad that my babies are so big. I snuck into their room and took these last night, after they'd fallen asleep.

It's funny that Lucas is sleeping in this bed. He really
prefers the white one over his brown one. Too funny!

This picture of Ashlee is just more confirmation
that she and Luke are just alike. I knew they looked alike,
walked alike and acted the same, but now I have proof that
the SLEEP just alike too. It just cracks me up!

It's All About Peace

Luke and I are not passionate about much. Mostly our passion is directed toward our God, family and friends. However, we are seriously passionate about money. We do not passionately pursue riches (not that we wouldn't love to have a cool million or so) but more so that we are passionate about being debt free. We are passionate about showing others the Peace that comes with knowing that your only master is God. I plan on this being a blog series, but time will tell. So, settle in, open your mind and think about your finances as I attempt to tell you why "It's All About Peace."
(Note: Please do not be offended by this post. If you recently discussed finances in your blog, asked us a question, etc. this is NOT aimed at you. Our Pastor has been doing a sermon series "How To Be Rich" and it has sparked a lot of thought. If you have asked questions or posted about money recently, please take this time to delve into my heart and understand how this spoiled "daddy's girl" learned how to be at peace with what she already has and how building riches in heaven surpasses my desire to build riches on this earth.)

As you read, please keep in mind that:
1. I am not a financial adviser
2. I didn't major in accounting/economics
3. I'm just a simple stay-at-home mom who passionately loves her Savior, Jesus Christ.

Luke and I are not completely debt free. We still have a mortgage. However, we do not have credit cards (literally, not even one), car payments, home equity loans or cash advances. Literally, all the debt we have is our mortgage. This isn't a bragging session about our family, it is simply factual. We are working fervently to pay off our mortgage so that we will not be in bondage to anyone.

Let me go further and explain my perception of bondage. Based on scripture, I see bondage as being tied to a person or possession that requires my service. Bondage keeps me from serving what I truly love and forces me to put other needs ahead of my Master's. I know this because of Proverbs 22:7 - "The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." Servant? Wow. I do see Luke and I as servants. I want my only master to be God. However, because of the debt we owe to our mortgage company, we are their servants. Think about it like this....God wants His servants to do something radical, like move to Africa. However, because of ties to credit cards, mortgages, car payments, etc., the servant is unable to follow God's commands. Sure, you can sell the house, cars and "stuff" but most of the time American's are so far upside down in debt that they are unable to clear what they owe. Therefore, when God calls they are unable to answer. For me, that's not good enough. (On a side note, Onlyservants.blogspot.com does NOT fit into my above description. They pretty much rock.)

Okay, let's look at something more simple, because not everyone is moving to Africa. Let's look at something as simple as helping your neighbor. I think everyone can agree, Christian or not, that loving and helping others is what will make the difference in our world. Let's say that you are in line at Wal-mart. The lady in front of you is purchasing her groceries. She has nothing extravagant, just the necessities to feed and maintain her home; milk, bread, eggs, diapers. You see her 4 children. They look to all be ages 7ish and under. The cashier scans and bags her groceries. When totaled, it isn't an offensive amount, less than $100. She swipes a card - denied. She swipes a second card - denied. Finally, she digs into her purse and pulls out as much cash as she has. She's forced to put some groceries back and only get what she can pay for. You see the disgust on the cashiers face and feel the tug at your own heart. If only you could help, but that would mean less groceries for your own family.

Well, I was in line behind this woman. I was 6 or 7 months pregnant with our oldest child. I knew that I needed to help this woman, but I was powerless. As I watched her walk away, I was crushed for her. All she needed was an extra step, a little help, and she'd be fine. I knew that God was urging me, but I couldn't obey. I couldn't obey because I had another master. The master I was serving was college loans, credit cards and car payments. I knew that I couldn't allow those to supersede the Living God of my life. I knew I needed to change.

I challenge each person reading this to look at their checkbook. Look at your online statement. What God are you serving? Are they gods of debt? Could you respond at a moments notice and serve the Living God? Would it be financially detrimental for you to serve God when He calls? Are you bound by debt?

I want Christ to have every inch of me, my heart, my mind, my Spirit and my possessions. How much does Christ have of you?

Are you trying to serve two masters?

Dear Outsider Looking In,

This is an actual letter I wrote to a family member of mine, but I thought I would post it here just in case any of you are thinking the same thing. I know that many people who care about us are questioning our every move with Foster Care. Please read the previous post first, then this one. Hopefully, you can see why we need support. We're not asking for understanding, just support.
_____________________________________

Luke and I are entering this Foster Care thing with a lot of prayer and council from God. This wasn’t a flippant decision that we made overnight. It has been an evolving decision that we have made very slowly and with a lot of prayer, Bible reading and questions. Trust me, I’ve asked God so many times, “Are you sure, God? Do you really want us to do this?” Each time, God answers me with a resounding “YES!” I cannot tell you the number of times that God has confirmed for me (not counting Luke’s confirmations) that he wants us to give this a try. They are really random things looking in from the outside, but when I look at them, I can clearly see that it is God speaking to me.

The safety of our children is our #1 concern. I hope that you don’t think that we would ever place our kids in a situation that we thought was dangerous. I do not think that bringing in children ages birth-4yrs will be dangerous for them. The reason we have chosen to foster kids this young, is because we feel we can control the environment in our home with kids this age. We are purposefully NOT fostering older kids or teenagers because it might be dangerous for our kids. Also, Luke and I have said that if at any point we feel it is too much for our family, we will back out. We have complete control of the situation, and we get to choose which kids we will take and which ones we won’t. Social Services cannot force us to take any child. It’s all up to us when, who and what we allow into our home.

On the other hand, while I do not see it as dangerous, I do see it as risky. Let me explain how I see a difference. I perceive dangerous to mean life threatening, serious harm and exposure to things that will cause my children a great deal of pain. I don’t see how a child aged 0-4 could do this to us. If within the first day or so I see a child physically, mentally or emotionally harming one of our kids, I WILL call DSS and tell them to come remove the child from our home. However, with everything we’ve been trained on, this situation is unlikely.

Risk is something that Luke and I are willing to take. Recently I wrote on my blog (an online journal type thing) the following:

(Insert previous post)

I believe that God calls us to take risks. These risks are things that push us outside our comfort zone. Will bringing kids into our home who have been neglected, abused or abandoned be risky? You bet! Can God use those situations to His advantage to teach Luke, Me and the kids how to love people who are hard to love? You bet!

I know that this is hard to understand from where you are sitting. But I am asking you for your support. I don’t expect it to all make perfect sense to you, heck, somedays it doesn’t make perfect sense to me. I eagerly want your prayers. But I ask that you pray for God’s desires. I pray daily for God’s desires for my life. Instead of praying against us in this situation, please pray for us to have peace, protection, understanding and a heart of Jesus Christ. This will be hard enough just given the circumstances of what were facing. It will be unbearable without the prayer support of the people who love us most. Please pray for us. Because from this point on we know it is about being obedient to God. If we back out before we even begin, we’re being disobedient to God. That isn’t something I’m willing to do.

(Bump) You Say "Why?"...I Say "Why Not?"

The original date of this post was Feb. 22, 2008. In light of the things we're seeing around us, I thought it would be good to give a "bump" to the top of the list.

Today is Friday. We have the weekend ahead to relax and then our weeks will be packed for the next 10-12 weeks. Next Tuesday, we begin our classes to become licensed to be foster parents. Yep, foster parents. We already have 3 kids of our own and we are inviting more little ones into our home. From the outside, I know it sounds crazy. However, I've made a few observations lately and I'd like to share them.

We have several friends who are stepping out of their comfort zones to do some pretty major things because God has told them to. One couple is leaving everything (selling their house, selling their stuff, etc.) here and moving to Africa to become missionaries, another couple who already has 3 kids is adopting from Ethiopia, another couple is risking working part time to pursue a life in the ministry..and there are countless others. The one thing I have observed from all of these "risky" behaviors is that when God spoke these ideas to these people, it suddenly became normal. If you ask our friends, "Why Africa?", "Why adopt?", "Why the ministry?", their reply is, "Why not?" It makes perfect sense to them and suddenly they are wondering why everyone else doesn't "get it." The same is true for us with foster care.

Many people have said to us "Aren't you afraid that the foster kids will harm your own kids?" or "Why would you want to do that, you'll just have to give them back?" For us, it's easy. These kids need people to love on them and we have the love to give. I know it will be hard, draining, physically exhausting and costly. However, how can God ever step in and help us if we don't place ourselves in "risky" or "dangerous" situations? Now, I'm not saying jump off a cliff and ask God to save you, but if it clearly aligns with what He has spoken to your heart, revealed to you in scripture and it still appears "risky" then maybe He welcomes the risk because it allows Him to show more of Himself to you.

I welcome a continued, growing relationship with my Savior. I know that He would never allow me to endure more than I can handle (with His help). I know that my life will not always be sweet peaches, roses and bubble baths. So, if I have the capability to step out of my "comfort zone" spread around some love and learn a lot about myself an my God in the process, all I have to say is "Why not?"

Where The MAPP Ends

Update:

Luke and I continue to see Satan trying to discourage us from this ministry. Please pray with us as we attempt to stand strong and fight for what we know God has instructed us to do. It's about obedience at this point, and I will not be disobedient!

Tonight is our last Foster Parent (MAPP) class. We will be able to ask questions to a panel of people all in the Foster Parent system. I am excited to see how the night will play out. We invited my parents as well as some great friends to join us. With the insight of our guests, I'm hoping to see sides that I had not previously seen.

Please pray for us as we continue on this journey. Satan is starting to come at us with his guns loaded. I am feeling very attacked, which causes me to be super defensive, and I hate walking into anything with that mind set. Please pray that God will rally people around us who love, support and lift us up in prayer. Although everyone who loves us may not understand, I pray that they will approach us with support, encouragement and love.

Thanks, and here we go...

Reflections of M.O.M.

Life with twins is so easy. Let me rephrase that, life with ONLY twins is easier. I have had the privilege of only having the twins the last 24ish hours, and man, it's easy. Not that Elizabeth is a handful, but just 2 kids is so simple. I think that it's all about perspective really, because when the twins were first born, I caught an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8 and 3 of her sextuplets were down for naps and only 3 were awake. Her life appeared to be total chaos, but she looks at the camera calmly and says, "Man, life with triplets is a breeze."
I almost fainted.

When I saw that episode, Lucas and Ashlee were less than 2 months old and Elizabeth was just turning two. Anyway, it hit me yesterday as I was getting quality time in with the twins, that they are the exact age that Elizabeth was when they were born. That thought had hit me before, but I hadn't really taken the time to absorb it. So, I thought I'd take some time and reflect on those days. If you'd like to join me in my trip down memory lane, just scroll down :). (Click on photos to see them larger, except the 1st one, I'm large enough, thank you very much.)

2 days before the twins were born, confined to bed rest
but we snuck away for a day at the lake.
It was memorial day weekend, and they induced me
the following Tuesday. Wow, I was huge.

This picture was taken just 4 days before the twins were born.
I thought she was so little, still a baby. She is almost 22 months.



I'm thinking..."What precious, healthy gifts" and "Holy Crap"
all at the same time. I still think Elizabeth is a "baby."


Then, in she comes...to see Brother and Sister for the 1st time...
Oh my word, she's so BIG!


Just to give you some perspective,
Lucas weighed 5lbs 2oz and was born at 1:18pm
Ashlee weighed 5lbs 13oz and was born at 3:42pm
Yes, you read that right, almost 2.5 hours later.
She's continued to be her own little girl.


Leaving the hospital.
Humm...someone's already
showing signs of a temper...



1 week old



Lucas and Ashlee are 2.5 months
Elizabeth is just barely 2 years

This was smack in the middle of the hardest months of my life. God sustained us, and with the help of family of and friends we made it through. I can't believe it's almost been 2 years. Time flies when you're having fun. I pray that my memory won't fade and that I'll always remember how precious they continue to be.

As I think about adding more to the mix, I feel so many emotions, hesitation, excitement, weariness and peace. I am reminded of Psalm 127:3-5. I know that we are blessed b/c we have a quiver full of kids. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us as we continue our journey, and love every second.

Beach Bums

Elizabeth left about an hour ago and is headed to the beach with my Mom and Dad. She'll be gone until Sunday afternoon/evening. I tend to forget how much I love spending time with her until she's gone for a few hours.

Earlier this week, I was laying with her at nap time and we got the giggles and just laughed and laughed for no reason at all. It was awesome. Then, this morning I was looking for a shoe that had mysteriously diappeared and she says to me, as serious as possible,

"I don't need the other one Mom, I'll just wear one."

I looked at her and she busted out laughing. She's starting to really get a sense of humor and it just cracks me up.

So, please pray that she had a good time, but that her trip is safe. I have a deathly fear of sharks and knowing that she will be around/in the ocean makes my skin crawl.

I mean what if these idiots are on the same beach as my Elizabeth?

Kindness

Today, I took the kids to the "hair cut place" so Lucas could get a trim. We had lunch with Luke then came home.

When I checked the mailbox, there was a letter for Elizabeth. No address, no return address, just her name typed across the front.

I put the twins down for their nap, and together, Elizabeth and I opened it. Her eyes lit up when she saw it's contents, a single, crisp, green $10 bill.

"Wow! A dollar!" she exclaimed.

"Ten dollars." I said.

With that, she began the following song:

"I gotta dollar, I gotta dollar, hey, hey, hey, hey!" (stolen from the Little Rascals)

Also inside was typed note, thanking Elizabeth for giving money to Chris and Lindy and purchasing a picture to teach others about Jesus. The note was not signed.

Elizabeth was amazed that someone else knew the story. She has been singing the dollar song for 10 minutes now and is truly grateful.

So, if you are reading this, and you are the anonymous thank you person, I say "Thank You." Elizabeth saw God's grace in you, as much as you saw it in her.

And...after much deliberation, she plans on purchasing a Barbie.

A Wheelbarrow Full of Strangers

This afternoon, I ventured to Wal-mart for a few "necessities," you know milk, veg oil, the must haves. Luke requested that I look for a wheelbarrow. Since he's always making trips by the grocery store on his way home from work, I was glad to help him out.

So, I get in our Honda Accord and off I go (I try to ditch the mini-van as often as possible). Upon arrival, I snag a sweet park (that's NC speak for parking spot for those of you who don't know), right by the entrance. I quickly grab a buggy (that's Arkansas speak for cart for those of you who don't know) and immediately notice my poor choice in buggy selection. Why do I always pick the ones with a mis-alignment? I think it's God's way of building up my biceps, since he sees how often I'm hitting the gym.

Anyhoots, 1st order of business: wheelbarrow locating. I storm the garden section only to find that I must circle back out of the store, via the garden entrance, and check out the wheelbarrows that just happen to be right beside the door I first went in. Great! I'll take the $40 one, check! Then I say to myself, "Self, I can either ditch the mis-aligned cart and push the rest of my purchases through Wal-mart in a stylish wheelbarrow, or I can collect said purchases and pay in the garden center, collecting the wheelbarrow upon exit."

I chose the second option since:
A) It would gain fewer "looks."
B) I'm not real skilled with wheelbarrows and I tend to tip them easily, spilling all of their contents.

I grab the few items I need and head off to get the much needed wheelbarrow. After another trip all the way back outside, then back in (to get the wheelbarrow unlocked and then take it BACK to the cashier) I pay for my things and head out to the car. This time, I did put my stuff in the wheelbarrow and push it to the car. I did get a few looks, but it was fun.

Alright, next task, load the wheelbarrow into the car. As I begin the process of figuring out the best way to load an oversized item into a 4 door sedan, a gentleman pulls into the park next to me. He graciously offers to help me, and since I don't have my kids with me, and I know this could be an ordeal, I accept the help.

For 10-15 minutes this gentleman and I try to smash, shove and manipulate this wheelbarrow into the trunk and/or backseat of the car. Finally, we give up. I thank the nice man, and he continues on his way into Wal-mart.

I call Luke, who has our kids in the bathtub, and tell him my dilemma. He tells me to return the wheelbarrow and we'll drop by later and re-buy it.

Sure thing. I re-situate the wheelbarrow to push it back into the store, and another gentleman walks by with his wife. He too offers to help me. I tell him I've already tried once, but if he wants to give it a go, why not? For the next 10 minutes, he and I, along with his wife, attempt to cram, shove and force a much too large wheelbarrow into our car.

No luck. Finally, his wife suggests that I roll down the back windows and maybe we can get an added angle. Great idea! I put the key in the ignition, roll down the power window, but still no luck. With that, I'm determined to return this stupid thing. I roll up the window, lock the car doors and walk to the still open trunk of the car. Then, it hits me.

THE KEYS ARE STILL IN THE IGNITION!!! Oh my word. Now, I'm stuck with an oversized wheelbarrow, no keys to the car and a kind stranger who's patience, I fear, are wearing thin! I call Luke once more. This time, the kids are really going. I think I overhear him saying, "Lucas, get back in the bathtub. Bad Boy!"

During our conversation, the kind stranger somehow unlatches the back seat from the trunk. At this point, this kind, kind man is climbing through the trunk, over the backseat and toward the front of my car.

Seriously, this guy was all in. He wasn't a "big" guy, but he wasn't a shrimp either and his legs are sticking out the trunk of my car like a breech baby coming out all wrong. It was really hysterical. After unlocking my car, regaining my keys and climbing back out. He finally secures the wheelbarrow with the only tie down I could find, a retractable dog leash. I drive 15 mph all the way home and thank God for my wheelbarrow full of strangers. I know I won't forget the kindness of strangers each and every time we use it. Thanks God!

Hope Luke likes the wheelbarrow...

From Here On Out

It's Friday. In only 4 days we'll be attending our 8th week of Foster Parent Classes. At the end of this class, the Department of Social Services assumes that we have the knowledge and skills we need to become licensed Foster Parents. Scary. Although I think the process has been extremely thorough, it still frightens me when I think about what we could be walking into.

In spite of my fears, God continues to prove faithful. He shows me each and every day that this is the direction that our family must take. From here on out, it's about obedience. After He has sacrificed so much for us, this step is easy. From here on, it's about love, true love. If I can show the love of Christ to each child that comes under our roof, then I have fulfilled part of His purpose. I pray, and rest assured, that He will give us strength, peace, perseverance and a heart of love for the people we will come in contact with through this system.

As I pray over the children that will come into our home, I know that God will lay countless blessings upon our home. At times it will be hard. There will be trials, tears, heartache and sleepless nights. I know that the Father, Creator of the Universe, will sustain us as we face challenges in the valleys and euphoria on the mountain tops.

Wish us luck...wait, I don't believe in luck. Instead, pray for us, our kids (both birth and foster) and our community. We have found our mission field, and to steal an awesome slogan from some very precious friends, from here on out, we are Only Servants...

Bubble Bath and Big Girl Bed

Last night, before heading out to our 7th night of Foster Parent Classes, the twins took a super duper bubble bath. Here are some of my favorite pics from bathtime:

Sir Mix-A-Lot

She's soooooo camera shy!

Mr. Bubble


I love everything about this picture!

"Helping" Bubbie

This morning, I put together Elizabeth's big girl bed. We had to re-arrange her room quite a bit, but here is the end result:

The bed to the far right is Elizabeth's "new" bed
which I think is cool b/c it was actually her great-grandparents'
bed. They had 2 twin beds in their room, just like
the Dick Van Dyke Show.

All smiles b/c she's a "big girl"
I'm all tears, where did my baby go?

Re-Living 16

My weekend started at 6:30pm on Friday night. It "ended" today at 9:30am when Luke, Emily and I drove ten 16 year old girls to church and released them back to their parents. It was fun, exhausting, exhilarating, giggly, God centered, silly stringy, worship packed and I loved every second!

The focus of the weekend was, "The Good Fight." We focused on the relationships we have with our parents and how a positive relationship with them is worth fighting for. I learned so many things this weekend, that I could not even begin to unpack it all and put it in this blog. However, I will tell you of a few of them and hopefully, do them justice.

I learned that everyone has issues with their parents, even the "good" kids.

I learned that being a teenager is still tough, and I'm glad that part of my life is over.

I learned that having 10 teenage girls in my home is exciting, and I absolutely loved being considered one of them.

I learned that there are 10 really amazing young women in my Sunday school class, and I am blessed beyond measure to know each of them.

I learned that things haven't changed a lot since I was a teenager.

I learned that my pastor's wife is a really great friend of mine.

I learned that said pastor's wife and friend can be intimidating when woken up at 1:30am.

I learned that my husband gets the "Mommy's mad" look on his face when said friend is yelling at us, along with 10 teenagers, to be quiet.

I learned that my kids will be teenagers way too quickly, and I need to cherish their childhood more.

I learned why my other youth worker friends are addicted to teenagers.

I learned how important a good relationship is with my parents and that I need to build a bridge.

I learned that it's okay to "go back" to my own teenage years, dig up the painful memories from behind a buried wall, and allow God to heal me, from the inside out.

D*Weekend

Starting at 6:30pm this evening, we will be hosting 10-12, 16 year old girls at our home for a Disciple Now Weekend. I am very excited! Although I know the next few days will include little sleep, lots of noise and lots of cooking, I am excited nonetheless.

The focus of the weekend is "The Good Fight" and it talks about fighting the fight to have a good relationship with your parents. The funny thing is, everyone keeps saying, "Oh, those girls will learn so much this weekend." What they don't know, is that I am prepared to be the student. I know I will learn so much this weekend. I am ready to give them the knowledge I've gained being **cough** 10+ yrs their senior, but I am also ready to view the world through the eyes of a teenager once more.

My time as a teen wasn't great. Hopefully, I can help change that for one of these girls. Please join me in prayer as God uses the Holy Spirit to lead our conversations, guide our thoughts and open our hearts.

Tricia's Out of Surgery and in the ICU

From what I can tell, (keeping in mind I'm not family, and not pretending to be) Tricia was in surgery for about 10 hours. According to Nate, average is 7-9 hours. Tricia's was more complicated because of her CF. I will try not to post again about her surgery/recovery b/c I feel it is best for you to hear the info from the horse's mouth. Please check out their blog:

http://cfhusband.blogspot.com

Thanks for the prayers!

Tricia's Having Surgery!!!

UPDATE: The surgery technically started just a little after 9:00EST. I know, I know, I sound like I"m part of the family but I just can't tell you how much my heart goes out to these folks. I am sincerely praying for the Operating Room to be shoulder to shoulder with angels, protecting Tricia during the surgery, and holding the hands of these surgeons. I also pray for another room full of angels, except these are for the donor family. Please join with me in prayer.


I know I'm a little freaky b/c I really don't know these people, but Tricia is having her surgery tonight! She has been in the OR for little over an hour. My stomach is in knots and I know I won't be able to sleep tonight!

As for my freakish obsession with this family, I cannot tell you how many times a day the Holy Spirit brings them to my mind. I pray for them almost as much as I do for my own family.

Please, please, please lift them up to the Creator of the universe in prayer. Pray for the donor family, surgeons and especially Tricia & Nate's family.

The Little Garden That Could

On Easter Sunday we went to my parents' house and Elizabeth, Paw Paw and I planted a little garden. PawPaw bought this little greenhouse thing, with these little pods where you plant the seeds. We planted all sorts of stuff and then watered and waited. It's been a few weeks and look how our garden has grown!

I must confess that I kill just about every living plant that has entered our house. The only thing I have managed to keep alive, and even it wasn't green, was some bamboo that my grandmother bought from the dollar store. Hopefully, we can "transplant" these and they will grow.

On a side note, and in keeping with transplants, Tricia got another "call" and there might be another set of lungs available. The transplant team is in route to look at them, and if it's a match, she might be in surgery as early as this evening. Please lift this family, as well as the donor family, up in prayer.

I know that all things work together for the glory of God and those who love Him...

My (Unofficial) Foster Parents

I've been thinking a lot today about the role of foster parents. Then, out of the blue, the Holy Spirit revealed to me something absolutely amazing...I HAD (unofficial) FOSTER PARENTS!!!

When I was in senior high school, my relationship with my father began to get shaky. At that time, my best friend's family accepted me into their home. Although I didn't spend copious amounts of time there, when I was there I was family. Now, I've moved 13 hours away from not only my best friend, but her family as well. And although my communication with them is limited, I have no doubt that they had a profound impact on my life. They loved me as their own, even though they didn't have to. They prayed for me as their own, even though I didn't know it. They think of me as their own, even though I'm never there. For this, Mr. Jim & Mrs. Mary, I am eternally grateful.

As Luke and I continue to journey down this path towards foster care, God continues to reveal just how he's molded, shaped and trained me for this position. Even before I was His, He knew this was the path I would choose and He prepared my heart and my mind. I am reminded of two scriptures:

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Psalm 139:13-16

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Before Christ died on the cross, for me, He knew the choices I would make. Before I was even a clump of cells, growing inside my mother's womb, He knew all of my days and all of my choices. I am continually astounded that the Creator of the Universe reveals these things to me. What a Mighty, Amazing and completely Personal God I serve!

I'm reminded of a portion of a song by Mercy Me that says:

Your love, is extravegant.
Your friendship, it is intimate.

He is extravagant. He is intimate. Thanks Mr. Jim & Mrs. Mary for playing such a profound role in my life. Though to you it might feel trivial, God knew from the beginning, and He knows even the end. I love you guys...

Mr. Jim & Mrs. Mary with Elizabeth (age 7.5 mos)

Pray for Tricia, Nate & Baby Gwyneth

I've been following the blog of The Lawrenson Family (see side bar blog). Tricia has Cystic Fibrosis and is awaiting a double lung transplant. They received a call earlier this evening and they may have a match for new lungs! Please join me in prayer for this very special family, as well as a prayer for the donor family.

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good...

Update: The lungs were "not good." That means that Tricia had to have a "dry run" which basically means she was prepped and ready for surgery, but didn't have the transplant. I'm sure it was emotional and challenging. Please continue to pray for this family, as well as the family that lost a loved one last night.

Seeing God In The Day to Day

I used to think that things could happen by coincidence. I used to think that luck was something that fell on people when they needed good fortune. I used to not know my God.

Since Luke and I have embarked on this journey of seeking out our role as Foster Parents, God has stepped into the sunlight and shown Himself to me in some pretty amazing and faithful ways. He's also shown Himself to me in the ordinary, in the things I used to think were coincidence. It is so amazing to me that the Creator of the universe desires such a deep, intimate and yet entirely friendly relationship with ME!

He has shown me how I can find His affirmation through a random person at the tomato stand. We began talking about tomatoes and within 2.5 seconds we were talking about foster care!
Coincidence?...I think not!

I have started this blogging addiction. As I peruse posts and blogs I come across countless blogs or entries about either being a foster parent or a person who was in the foster care system.
Coincidence?...I think not!

Even today, as I was getting in sneak peeks of Oprah, between rounds w/ the vacuum, He revealed affirmation to me yet again! Seal and Heidi Klum were on Oprah talking about their relationship and background. It is revealed that Seal spent time in foster care. I am sitting at the foot of my bed, watching a 44 year old Hollywood superstar crying on national television b/c Oprah and his wife have reunited him with a foster sister he hasn't seen in 40 YEARS! Once again, affirmation that we should pursue this b/c we can and will make a difference.
Coincidence?...I think not!

I urge you to look at your life. What are things that you have labeled as coincidence? Now, examine your relationship with Christ. Is He speaking to you through burning bushes and you are not giving Him your attention? I wasn't for the longest time.

I'm so glad I'm getting tuned in to my Creator and Savior. It makes my life worth living and my world so much more complete. I simply love seeing God in the day to day...

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Just thought you all (*ahem*...Amanda) would enjoy this story, courtesy of my 3.5 yr old, Elizabeth. It's pretty good.

This past week, our lovely friend Paige came over to hang out with us. As Elizabeth and I are driving her home, we pass McDonald's. Elizabeth is in the backseat and Paige and I are in the front, trying to carry on some sort of conversation. Here's how it went:

Elizabeth: "Mommy, look! McDonald's!"

Me: "Yes, honey, I see."

Elizabeth: "I love McDonald's, Mom."

Me: "You do?" (I'm curious, b/c we rarely eat McDonald's.)

Elizabeth: "Yep, it's good. You don't like McDonald's do you Momma?"

Me: "Nope."

Elizabeth: "It makes you go poo-poo a lot, huh Momma?"

Me/Paige: Hysterical laughter and the inability to breathe

Kids say the darndest things...

Fun With Hats

Some of you may already know, but I plan on Homeschooling our kids. Elizabeth and I have started some pre-school already, but Lucas and Ashlee just aren't ready to sit still and do anything for longer than 2.5 seconds. However, this past week I checked out a story bag from the library. We read several books about Hats and I think even the twins enjoyed it. Here are some photos from our story time:

Ashlee Crocket

Lucas as Gilligan


Elizabeth the Clown

Maybe I'll Use My College Degree Afterall

Foster Parent Classes, Week 4

Most people don't know this, but I was actually a Psychology Major in college. Lyon College doesn't offer a teaching major. You had to major in another area and concentrate in Education. I have always been fascinated with psychology, the way people think and child development, and I still am. Tuesday night at our Foster Parent classes, the trainers talked a lot about stages of development. Immediately, it all came flooding back. They used Erik Erikson's theory on social development, which I have seen in children of friends and family members. I also remembered Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, looked it up and it was interesting as well.

For those of you considering adoption, or foster parenting, I think you'd find these things interesting. That is my psychological advice for today. Take it or leave it.

All in all, the classes were great this week! I have often beaten myself up for running up student loans and getting this great degree, and then I don't utilize it b/c I'm at home with my kids all day. God just continues to affirm to me that I am, in fact, just where I'm suppose to be and that I truly am using the education, gifts and talents he has blessed me with. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I praise my Lord for it!!

Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Maslow


Erik Erikson's Stages of Social Development
No, I did not draw this myself, but it was
the best I could find
http://theliterarylink.com/understanding.html

Big Boy Underwear & Big Girl Panties

Lucas and Ashlee are at that age where potty training looms over our heads. I know that we should be ambitiously striving for toilet use, but I just can't seem to muster up the energy. Luke, however, is full steam ahead. On Saturday, he decided it was time to break out the undies. Lucas has some Mickey Mouse (or as Lucas says, "Mick Mick") Big Boy Underwear and of course, Ashlee is stuck with hand-me-down Princess and/or Dora Big Girl Panties. They were each equally proud of themselves and strutted their stuff. I took lots of pics and here are some of my faves:

Ashlee with her "Bear-Bear" (who has
the nastiest ears on the planet!)


Lucas in his "Mick Mick's" with Kitty-Kitty

Ashlee, Lucas and Luke

Dentist Trips and Homemade Picasso

Yesterday I took Ashlee and Lucas to the dentist. It was their 2nd trip, but the last one was 6 months ago and they were significantly easier to manage, plus I took back-up. This time, not so lucky. Taking Luke's advice, I also took the umbrella stroller (versus the double stroller, which is bulky) so that I could restrain one while the other was getting cleaned and checked.

The first task was getting them both from the van into the dentist office. This should be a somewhat easy task considering. However, our arrival coincided with the landscapers. Lucas was way more interested in the mower than listening. I knew that holding the hand of two 22 month olds and guiding (read: pulling, dragging, carrying) both of them in w/o the use of the stroller, plus carrying the freakishly large diaper bag would be next to impossible. Therefore, I decided to put Lucas in the stroller and carry Ashlee. It worked until I also had to juggle the door. Finally, we're inside!

Next comes getting both of them back into the dentist area. At our pediatric dentist (whom I LOVE by the way) has a bay where every single chair is out in the open. Therefore, all the twins see is "stuff to climb on." Picture me, pushing an empty umbrella stroller, carrying the freakishly large diaper bag and trying to control my two people using only the sound of my voice. Not so much working.

We arrive at our chairs, and I decide to let Lucas go first since Ashlee is the world's best follower. Seriously, if Lucas jumped off a bridge, 1st she'd tell me "Bubbie did!," then she'd jump too. Follower, in every sense of the word.

All went well until Ashlee's turn. Ashlee has a tiny bit of a temper. I know...hard to believe (ha) but she does. She was not feeling the dental hygienist. A fit ensued and the battle lines were drawn. I am holding her while she begins her "crocodile death roll." The hygienist is desperately trying to look at her teeth. Lucas, meanwhile, is "riding" (read: sitting) in the stroller saying (repeatedly),

"Ashe saaaaaaad." (Ashlee's sad)

Followed quickly by,

"I onnna riiiide." (I wanna ride)

This lasted for about 15-20 minutes.

Then it was Lucas' turn (again). Ashlee is so wound up by now, she can't calm down. She's in the stroller, leaned all the way over, her forehead literally inches from the ground, screaming her guts out. Meanwhile, the rest of the dentist office is running like normal. Other kids are getting their teeth cleaned, Lucas is being a good boy. I can only imagine the horror that the kids in the waiting room are feeling. Ashlee has a tendency to exaggerate. This was no exception.

Hysterical. We made it thru the entire check up, got our bouncy balls and went on our way.

As for today, it was fairly easy going. Here are some pictures from our time with markers and stickers.

My focused little man



Her eye is blacked by marker, not bruises



Ashlee, way too close



Lucas, practicing for the dentist

My Bestest Friend In The Whole Wide World

I have the most amazing best friend. 13 years ago, we met, as sophomores in high school, and became instant friends. She proves to me that soul-mates exist. She has seen me at my best, my worst, worse than my worst and, all too many times, she's scraped me up off the floor and helped me stand up again. She's patted my back and cheered me on when I'm sailing through life. She's held my hand, cried with me and understood when no one else could.

For the last 5 years, we've lived over 700 miles apart. Even though we are separated physically, we have become closer each and every day. I am amazed that God has blessed me with such an incredible person. She challenges me, loves me and prays for me, just when I need it most. Just this morning, she sent me the best email. Even though she had no clue, I've really needed prayer lately. As I've pondered all the things God seems to be revealing to Luke and I, I've also begun to second guess some of my choices and feelings. Through her words, God affirmed that He hears the desires of my heart, He cares and He is still answering prayer. What an amazing Creator! What an amazing friend! I don't believe that I am worthy of either relationship, but I praise my Lord for the blessings I receive from both, on a daily basis...

At our High School Graduation

Almost 10 years later

For Tricia

I am joyfully accepting the challenge given by another blogging mommy. The challenge is to list all the things that I take for granted, with regard to my children. Then, the next time I do one of these tasks, I will think of Tricia, and others like her, and praise my Lord for the ability to do these things. Some of these will reference past duties.

Note: If you've not yet read about Nate, Tricia and Gwyneth, take a moment and check out their blog over in my list of faves.

Things I take for granted, when mothering my kids:

* Changing poopy diapers
* Fixing lunch, and sitting with them while they eat
* Cleaning up after a messy, but enjoyable lunch
* Hearing the squeal of "MOMMY!" when I open their door 1st thing in the morning
* Toddler jibberish
* Random hugs
* Sugar-lips
* Being able to take care of their basic needs
* Breastfeeding (from the past, but I still took it for granted)
* Giving them baths
* Stepping on cherrios
* Watching , "Go Diego, Go!" for the millionth time
* Being continuously interuppted each time I attempt an adult conversation
* Sprinting someone to the potty, before it's too late
* Wiping snotty noses
* Snotty kisses
* "Doctoring" a bloody lip
* Tickle parties
* Sneaking in at 11pm (with my husband) to watch them sleep
* Pig piles
* Belly munchins
* Uncontrollable screaming
* Always looking for "Kitty" and "Bear Bear," Lucas and Ashlee's lovies
* Piles of dirty laundry (I'm blessed they are here to make it)
* A dirty house
* Teaching Elizabeth about God, Jesus and how to love others
* Watching Lucas and Ashlee pray

These are just a handful (okay, maybe two) of the things that make my heart swell with love and joy. Sometimes, I look at my life, as a stay-at-home mom and ponder my purpose. Thanks to Tricia, this is something that crosses my mind a lot less lately. I feel so blessed to take care of these kids that call me "Momma." They give me a life with direction and heart of purpose. I love my job....do you?

$7.00

We have some incredible friends who are moving to Kenya this summer. They are selling everything, their house, cars, furnishings and going. God called and they are answering and, quite honestly, I think they are incredible. Elizabeth knows "Chris and Windy." She understands that they've already been to Africa once and that they will be going again, and staying a long time. She prays for them I think it is just precious.

Anyway, yesterday, Lindy (Windy) came by to pick up some photos she "accidentally" left at our house (I say accidentally, but again, I'm learning that our God isn't a God of chances). When she got here to pick them up, I asked to see them. They are selling them to raise money for their missions. I spread them all out on the floor and we were inspecting them. I explained to Elizabeth the reason Lindy had the pictures and told her that she was selling them so she could go tell people in Africa about Jesus. Though all of the pictures were amazing, Elizabeth particularly fell in love with 1. It was a photo of a zebra that Chris had taken. Beautifully framed, it was pure joy for Elizabeth. She immediately asked me if she could have it. I told her that it cost a lot of money ($15, but to a 3 1/2 yr old, that's a lot) and that if she would be willing to pay half with her money, I would pay for the other half.

With that, Elizabeth runs to her room and grabs her envelope full of her "Save" money. (Elizabeth does chores to earn money. She gets a maximum of $3.00 per week. She gives $1 to Church, Saves $1 and gets to put $1 in her Spend envelope.) She comes running back into the living room with a fist full of $1.00 bills. I told her that her portion of the cost is $7.00. Diligently, she counts out her money....$7.00 exactly. I explained to her that if she uses her money to buy the picture that she won't have any money left to buy the toys that she's asked for from the T.V. In a complete moment of maturity she says, "Yes, I know Mommy." She proudly hands her dollars to Lindy (who is sobbing) and takes her prized picture in her hands. She runs to her room to find a place of honor.

God amazes me that I can still learn so much from my children. It was not a coincidence that Elizabeth had exactly $7.00 saved (I didn't know how much she had when I told her I'd pay half). What an amazing heart my child has. I feel so incredibly blessed to witness these everyday miracles. God is so good.

Now, I'm wondering, have I given God my $7.00 today? Have I offered Him my all? And with complete joy, have I placed what He has given me in a place of honor? I think there are so many lessons to be learned from the heart of a 3 year old...

Check out my friend's version of the story by clicking here.

Foster Parent Classes, Week 2

Last night was the 2nd night of our Foster Parent Classes (only 8 more to go!). It was significantly better than the 1st. We did a role play and it really opened my eyes to families and children that are in the foster care system.

Of course, when the social worker asked for volunteers Luke and I offered our services. We are so shy that I know this must be a shock to you all ;). Anyway, we were given the role of the "Birth Parents." We had 2 children, ages 6 and 2. Other than an estranged sister and a brother (who later is exposed for molesting our oldest child) we have no family or support groups.

"Birth Father" is a factory worker and me, "Birth Mother" is a stay-at-home Mom. We got married right out of high school and have been together for 10 years. When Birth Father was laid off from his factory job things started going down hill. Our oldest "daughter" wanted to go the circus and when we expalined we didn't have the money, Birth Father became angry and slapped her, causing her to hit her head on the wall and have a concussion. After being investigated by social services and it being deemed it was an isolated incident, we went home from the hospital with broken spirits. Later, Birth Father became frustrated, we got into an argument and he left to go have a few drinks and cool off. On his way home, he wrecked and totaled our car and was taken to jail.

To make a long story short, Birth Mom ended up slapping the oldest child again and both kids were placed in foster care. After many more scenarios and a lot of emotion, the family was reunited and services put in place to give them stepping stones in the right direction.

I told you all of that to say this: I really think my previous thoughts of families that "needed" foster care was unfair. I typically thought that all families that lost their kids in the foster care system were not fit parents. However, after role playing the Mom in this situation, I can see how things could snow-ball out of control. I kept thinking about Lucas and Ashlee, who are almost 2 themselves, and how I would feel if something happened and they were taken from me.

It's frightening but it happens. I think God certainly used this experience to make me see that our role as foster parents is much more different that what I first envisioned. I am eager to see what else He will reveal over the next 8 weeks...

Instead of "Why Me?" I say "Why Not Me?"

We have some friends who recently had their 1st child. Let me back up... We have some friends who tried for many, many months to get pregnant. After a lot of fertility issues, they finally conceived. During her pregnancy, my friend faced quite a few issues. Although they were all relatively minor, she developed gestational diabetes and some other pesky but controllable problems. (Back to the beginning of my post, now.) Recently, this couple had their baby. He is a beautiful 7lb 3oz little boy. However, b/c she became pre-eclamptic, they induced her and as a result the baby got an infection. Now, they are having to stay in the hospital with him for a minimum of 28 days. They are taking it in stride, glorifying God that it's nothing more serious and dealing with what has been placed in front of them.

Then, there is another family. The Lawrensons (see the side link for Nate, Tricia and Baby Gwyneth). They continue to amaze me. Tricia has cystic fibrosis. Her outlook on this fatal disease is amazing. She looks at it as a way God has allowed her to reach people for Him. They recently (2 months ago) had a baby girl, Gwyneth. She was born 15+ week early and is defying odds. I am simply amazed at the strengths of these families.

My point in telling you about these families is not to depress you. I look at these folks and I wonder why they are going through these things. Granted, they do not see them as "sad" or "unfortunate." This really makes me wonder if it is because of their relationship with God, that they have been selected to endure. Is it because they have such unwaivering faith, that they have been chosen? It makes me examine my own walk with Christ. Have I fully turned my heart over to him? Have I allowed Him full access into my heart, mind and body or do I keep Him at bay, only asking His opinion when I think I'm in need.

Most people in the situations that these families (and countless others) are in would ask "Why Me?" I've never heard, or read, this from either of these folks. Which makes me ask, "Why not me, God?" Why have I not had an experience like this? Why have I been "spared?" Maybe I'm not where I need to be, with my relationship with God, to endure such things, or maybe mine is yet to come. Either way, I lift these families up in prayer daily. I pray for them to have peace, rest, guidance and to feel the warmth and love that only God can provide. I hope that you'll pray along with me...