In a world where God has not taught me the value of holding my tongue, these might be my responses. In a world where one-too-many people ask me the same question for the bazillionth time, these might be my responses.
I'm still working on acquiring a gracious spirit people. Cut me some stinkin' slack.
1) Are you EVER gonna have that baby?!?
"Why no. I thought I'd just stay pregnant forever. Babies easier to take care of this way."
2) WHEN are you going to have that baby?!?
"I'm not. Actually, I'm not really pregnant at all. APRIL FOOLS!!"
3) WHY are you here and not at the hospital having that baby!?!
"Because I thought it would be a much better day if I postponed meeting my child and instead spent some quality time with you, answering questions about my cervix and the enormity of my stomach."
4) Are you still pregnant?
"No. I thought it would be fun to have the baby then wear a fat, pregnant belly suit and fool everyone. The baby was sleeping when we left so we decided not to wake her and left her at home."
5) Man! You are huge! Isn't your doctor concerned?
"Yes. In fact my doctor told me that I was a gigantic blimp and he couldn't believe that I hadn't spontaneously exploded yet. I'm a medical marvel, really."
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Regardless of whether or not you are 41+ weeks pregnant, I find that people tend to ask questions that are generally baffling/crazy/funny/annoying.
So, what crazy, stupid or otherwise annoying questions have people asked you lately?
I am 12 weeks pregnant with my second... I am 5' tall and with my first I was HUGE! So needless to say I am showing... I love it when people say man you are ONLY 12 weeks? MAYBE IT IS TWINS! Maybe I should just punch you in the kisser so you cant say mean things like that to pregnant ladies anymore :)I am so sorry you are having to deal with all the comments!
ReplyDeleteoh people are just people aren't they!!
ReplyDeletemy favorite is: oh i bet you're hoping for a brother (speaking to dustin)
when i answer with actually it's a sister. they totally look devestated. seriously. does it matter if the kid has something between it's legs. and dustin has no idea what a brother is!! who cares. i really want to say, well maybe one of our next ten will. our goal is 15 kids. ((but that'd be lying and i can't.))
I went past my due date with two of my children, and I actually kind of enjoyed the horrified looks on people's faces when they asked, "When's your due date?" and I got to answer "Today" or "yesterday" or even better, "Last week!" As if the baby was about to drop out of me at that VERY SECOND!!! I just hoped people would ask me, so I could shock them. :-) If you've got to stay pregnant that long, might as well enjoy the little things!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteHaha! I really needed that laugh this morning.
ReplyDeleteI used to tell people I had chronic pregnancy, lol.
People are so funny...I remember the past due date plethora of questions...YUCK! I wanted to just hibernate until delivery.
ReplyDeleteI was just asked at Wal Mart this morning after the lady in check out went on and on about Layla's red hair:
"You don't have red hair, do you?" Seriously??? I didn't quite know how to answer that.
Before you know it..you'll be relishing in the post delivery ice bags :-) I'm so excited for you!
My favorite response is this one:
ReplyDelete"Yes. In fact my doctor told me that I was a gigantic blimp and he couldn't believe that I hadn't spontaneously exploded yet. I'm a medical marvel, really."
HILARIOUS! You, woman, crack me up!
I seriously stopped answering my phone to my mom about 36 weeks on. It's like I was due any second. I think next time I'll refrain from telling people I'm dilated/effaced at all because then I won't get those annoying calls anymore.
We recently adopted and all I've heard is that- well you know as soon as you adopt you'll get pregnant. ugh. (Started my period today...I am really a private person, but I want to call each and every one of the people who told me that and announce it to them.)
ReplyDeleteI also got lots of I will surrogate for you...ummm. Isn't that crossing some kind of line? Who offers that? If we needed a surrogate we'd ask...but don't bring it up in conversation, when I barely know you...
How does it FEEL to be a medical marvel?? :)
ReplyDeleteThese are hilarious! I'm going to save them to use when I'm huge and annoyed. Too funny.
I am glad you got a good laugh :)
ReplyDeleteWith Abbey after she was born people would say she is huge... I would say yes she is. Some would actually say how big was she? I would respond with 9 lbs 1 oz and 21 inches long... They would anwser with are you sure? Um yes yes I am I remember every inch of that big head coming out and I remember looking at my doctor and telling him I knew I was atleast a month overdue :)
Hang in there girl... Or dont... You are allowed to cry and complain as much as you want... Maybe stamp your feet and throw something (works for my two year old)but whatever you do just dont go standing on your head... You would hate for the baby to go farther up... LOL I am just kidding but if you attempt it could you please post pictures :) Ok... I must tell you I stalked your blog for a little while and then became a follower and well you rock Beaver Mom... :)
Don't make me ask you again-lol!
ReplyDeleteNow you know that Richard was only asking you because I made him, and I was only asking you because, well never mind. I can see now that it just ain't funny anymore, if ever it was.
Sorry you are still pregnant, the baby will come, I promise!
By the way--if you make it to April Fools, number 2 would be hilarious, not that you could possibly make it that far! So there is your silver lining- Baby will be here by April 1st!
Okay, I have a response for "have you not had that baby yet?" You can say, "why yes, I have actually and don't you feel like an idiot for bringing to everyone's attention my weight problem?"
ReplyDeleteI love your personality and your realness!
Praise the Lord I'm not still pregnant, but I was at the 41+ mark and I really feel for you. It is hard to keep a civil tongue when being asked such senseless questions but not much longer and they won't be asking any more and it will be long forgotten. And in the place of all the questions will be one more miracle! Good luck keeping it together and I can't wait to hear about it!
ReplyDelete