Happy 4th Birthday Lucas and Ashlee!

Four years ago today my status as a mother was redefined. I went from being a Mom to one child to a Mom to three. Just like that my world was forever changed. And isn't that just how these little people are? They are life changers. They change the way we women think, what we call our selves and how we structure our days.

(Lucas and Ashlee, 3 days old)

Being called "Mom" is one of the greatest blessings I've ever known. Most people say that the transition from one child to two is the hardest. Some people say that going from two kids to three kids is the most difficult. For us, going from a family of three to a family of five has certainly been the most challenging days of our young marriage. The first three months of Lucas and Ashlee's life is a complete blur. How I WISH I had known about blogging then, so I could have recorded and captured some of those first memories with three babies, all under two years old. Not that I would have really had time to blog, mind you. I was basically a milk truck, servicing the needs of two people on an almost continual basis.

(Our family of 5 on May 30, 2006.
The first time Elizabeth met her brother and sister.)

Now, just four short years later my babies aren't babies anymore. They are kids who no longer need my help to get dressed or brush their teeth or eat their food. They don't need me to help them put on their shoes or go down slides. They don't need me to do nearly as much as they used to. And a huge part of that makes me sad. Just this week, the older three all worked together and got their entire breakfast ready, by themselves. They got the bowls out and the cereal poured and Elizabeth poured the milk. I was thrilled, then sad.

Yes, my babies are growing up. At the homeschool convention I attended this weekend, one of the speakers said something that resonated with me. She was speaking on having lots of little ones (she herself has 8 children, 6 of which are boys...the Lord has a special place in heaven for her, I'm quite sure) and she said these words, "Moms, cherish these early years with your children. Because, even though the days are long the years are short."

How true those words are. Many times I look at the clock and say, "Wow. Only 11:00am! You've got to be kidding me!" But then, on days like today, on the birthdays of my babies I think, "Wow. Four already. You've got to be kidding me!"

(Lucas and Ashlee - 2 months, Elizabeth - 2 years)

Yesterday we had a cowboy and cowgirl birthday party for Lucas and Ashlee. We had a rootin' tootin' good time, that's for sure. Here are some of my favorite photos from yesterday...

Cowboy Aaron with Cowboy PawPaw

Fearless Cowgirl Olivia

Cowboy Lucas blowin' out his birthday candle
(Note that there were no Cake Wrecks this year)

Cowgirl Ashlee blowin' out her birthday candle
(Note that even though it was a Horse ridin' party, she chose fairies for her party decor. I love it.)

Cowgirl Sisters

Cowboy Lucas and his horse Noah

Cowgirl Ashlee and her horse Chico
(Could Ashlee be any sassier? I think not.)

At four years old, Lucas loves all things cowboy. He loves horses and boots and guns. He is amazingly affectionate towards his littlest sister, Ella, and takes his role as oldest brother seriously, on most occasions. He is determined, energetic, loving and a complete Daddy's boy. He's an early riser and has recently begun forgoing his afternoon nap. He adores bugs and dirt and sticks. He is eager to please his Momma and still enjoys handing out hugs and kisses when they are requested. He's been asking Luke tough questions about Jesus and sin and we are praying over his little heart and that he will one day be a man living for the Lord.

From tiny baby...

...to a big boy, we know that God has great things planned for Lucas' life. How we pray we will be parents who equip him to study God's word for himself so that he can live boldly for Christ.


At four years old Ashlee is the life of every party. Ashlee loves life. And, her love for life is most clearly shown in her affection toward her family. Free with her kisses and hugs, especially on her younger sisters, Ashlee is known to shower them with love, often to the point of making them less than cheerful. Luke and I both agree that Ashlee lives life full throttle. She runs just about everywhere she goes and she experiences, joyfully, a life that is filled with abundant laughter. Even though she is the reigning drama queen (at least until Olivia dethrones her) she is also the peacemaker of our little brood. She freely gives of her toys and often settles for her second pick so that someone else can have their hearts desire. I pray that her attitude of service and love for other people continues to grow as her relationship with the Savior does too.

From an excitable baby...

...to a joyfilled little girl, we pray God will use her servant's heart to draw her to Himself and, ultimately, a life devoted to sharing with others where ultimate joy truly lies.

Lucas and Ashlee,

We love you more than we could ever express. Happy 4th Birthday, sweet babies!

Love,

Mommy

I'M FAMOUS!!! Except, not really

It shouldn't be a surprise to you that one of my favorite sites is Cake Wrecks. I mean, what could tickle me more than brilliantly remarkable screw ups that make you laugh, literally out loud, AND they're made entirely of cake?

Nothing, that's what.

I mean, come on people. It's like the hilarity and flavor of heaven all in one website. Perfection I tell you. Well, not really perfection because, hello?, they are messed up cakes.

At any rate, when I first found the Cake Wrecks blog, I immediately submitted a cake that was made for one of my family members.

TODAY ON CAKE WRECKS, my cake made it to press!!

That's right people, it's like the 7 phases of Kevin Bacon except without the Kevin Bacon. Which means I'm totally famous now!

So, here's the deal, check out this post over on Cake Wrecks. Come back and leave me a comment telling me which cake is the one I submitted (it's not that difficult because I've blogged about our cake screw up before). Of the correct answers I will randomly pick a winner and award them with a prize.

Your prize could be as arbitrary as 584 Beaver points (which are totally worthless). Or possibly something a little more enticing. (Cut me some slack here people, I've gotta figure out what would be a cool gift and right now I DO NOT have the brain power. Work yourself up for the points and if it's something better, well, then HOORAY!)

You have until 11:59pm on Friday, May 28, 2010 to enter. After that, and when our lives return to normal (normal for us anyway) I'll pick a winner using Random.org.

Happy caking, everyone.

Hummm...that reminds me...I've gotta go order the twins' birthday cakes for their party on Saturday. Think I should use the same place as when I ordered the Wreck? Naaaaaaahhhhh....

Ella Joy at 2 months

Ella officially turned 2 months old on Sunday but it's been a tad bit busy around here. This past weekend was fully of activities including birthday parties and graduation ceremonies for our student ministry's senior class (which Luke and I help lead).

This weekend will prove to be even more chaotic as my wonderful mother-in-law arrives on Thursday afternoon. After I pick her up from the airport, we are heading straight to our state's Homeschool Convention. It's HUGE and I'm excited that my mom-in-law is going with me so that she can see for herself just how many resources are available to homeschooling families these days. I remember being blown away the first year I went. Convention lasts through Saturday but we will only be attending on Thursday and Friday since Lucas and Ashlee's 4th birthday party is on Saturday!

Then we will have a family Memorial day picnic at my parent's house on Monday. And, my mom-in-law departs on Tuesday. Busy, busy, busy around here!

But, I'll move onto what this post should really be about. My sweet, 2 month old, joy named Ella.

Ella Joy,

At 2 months old you prove to be, quite possibly, the easiest baby we've had to date. Your oldest sister Elizabeth was also pretty easy as a baby but she didn't have 5 other siblings to contend with. In your short 2 months outside the womb you've enjoyed spending time with some amazing people. Your Auntie Lindy was able to be here in the US for your birth, in the delivery room even. She is smitten with you, I think, as is your Uncle Chris. Today, we went to the airport and said "See you soon" to Auntie Lindy and Uncle Chris as they headed back to Kenya to continue with their ministry (click here to find out more about their ministry).

It was with a joyful sadness that we hugged and kissed and your Auntie Lindy rubbed your soft, peach fuzzy head and then smooched your chubby, squishy cheeks. I know you're going to miss sleeping on Auntie Lindy's chest as she and Mommy (and Mrs. Beth) giggle over nonsense.

In the hospital, Elizabeth first called you Ellabelle. And, the sweet little nickname has stuck. Sometimes you are Ellabelle, other times, Ellabella. It's so sweet that all of the children have their own special way of showing you affection. Some, more gently than others. ;)

Everyone stills comments on the resemblance you have with your oldest brother, Lucas. But, often, your expressions remind us so much of Ashlee's. You are certainly not reclining in any of your older siblings' shadows though. Unlike each of your older siblings, you've had some particulars with your choice of pacifier and bottle nipples. You have finally, finally found a fondness with a plain 'ol Gerber pacci. The cheapest in the store. You've also taken several bottles from a plain 'ol cheap Gerber bottle.

And, unlike your older siblings, you have had a love/hate (heavy emphasis on the HATE) relationship with your carseat. Unlike all your other siblings who usually zonked out the second they were secure in the infant carrier, you've been anything BUT content when strapped in and the car being in motion. In the last week, you've tolerated it a little bit better each trip.

You enjoy "talking" and cooing at the faces of your family and friends.

And, you are very free with your smiles, which delights friends, family and strangers alike. I can't tell you the number of ladies who have stopped dead in their tracks to gaze at your gorgeous aqua blue eyes, then stood in amazement and delight at the smiles you flash. How I am praying that your easy going spirit and happy nature are lifetime characteristics you possess!

You are sleeping much, much better at night, though still in your swing. Your first stretch of sleep is anywhere from 5 - 6 hours, beginning around 9:00 or 9:30 til sometimes 2:30 or 3:30. You had a few nights of wanting to eat every HOUR, which totally wore your Momma out. But, it appeared to just be a growth spurt which lasted 2 (or maybe 3, I can't really remember) nights.

You're spending more time awake during the day and enjoying naps on your tummy when Mommy remembers to lay you down that way. You are still nursing like a pro and your Mommy and Daddy just couldn't be more in love with you. You truly live up to your name. God has blessed us with you so very much and, through you, provided us with so much JOY.

I love you little princess!

Mommy

10K in 20 days (or less now..)

When I first read "10K in 20 days" I thought my blog-friend Courtney was speaking of running.

But she wasn't.

See what she's up to by clicking here. I sure wish I could make the time RIGHT NOW to express to you just how important I feel it is to support adoptions.

But, it's almost 4:30pm and my people are waking up from naps and we have a gymnastics "performance" tonight that I must prepare my little gymnasts for. And, I still haven't showered today.

Please, please, please, go here and see how you can help bring 26+ orphans home to their forever families.

Surely you can spare $5 today to help change the course of a child's life.

Thanks friends.

Radical: Someone worth losing everything for

Well, in the post below this one, I told you all that I would be blogging about Chapter 1 of David Platt's new book, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream.

WOW.

About half way through chapter 1 (Which, by the way, you can click here to read for free. Just scroll down and enter your email address at the bottom.) I began wondering how in the world I'd summarize my thoughts after underlining (yes, I write in books) or journaling over half of what I'd read.

So for you math wizards, that means I'd found 1/4 of the chapter pretty earth shaking and I'd only read half of it. I don't know what mathematical formula I can produce to show you just how much I finally ended up noting, but it was A BUNCH. Put that in your calculator and crunch it.

Anyway, here are the things that truly stuck out to me the most...

Page 7, "We are settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves."

Um. Yeah. Wow. So very, very true. Why is it that as a Christian I try to cater my worship, my service and my devotion around ME? Shouldn't I be catering everything around Jesus and how my life should glorify Him? Yes, yes I should. I'm a selfish beast, apparently.

Page 13, David Platt (DP as I will call him from now on because I can and I'm lazy) is talking about how we, as Americans, make Jesus into a nice, middle-class Jesus. "A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all our affection."

(I really should probably just quote all of page 13. Or you could just BUY THE BOOK.)

Anyway, after saying how we are changing Jesus from what the Scriptures say about Him to a middle-class American Jesus, DP says the following, "But do you and I realize what we are doing at this point? We are molding Jesus into our image. He is beginning to look a lot like us because, after all, that is whom we are most comfortable with. And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and life up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshiping the Jesus of the Bible. Instead we may be worshiping ourselves."

(Emphasis added by ME.)

Holy stinkweed. I'm pretty sure that DP reached off the page and slapped me across the face with page 13. I mean really, do I REALLY love the Jesus in Scripture? Do I REALLY love the man who told me to forsake everything, everything to follow Him? Forsake my husband? Forsake my kids? Forsake being totally and utterly comfortable?

Do I really love THAT Jesus?

I'm not sure that I do, honestly.

And I am currently praying that God cultivates my relationship with my Savior so that I love the real Jesus and not the one I'm comfortable with.

PS: If you haven't bought this book, you should at least download the first chapter and READ PAGE 13. I'm just sayin'.

Moving right along...

Page 17, DP is talking about when Jesus told the rich man to abandon his possessions and give to the poor. DP says, in reference to that scripture, quoting it even, "'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.' If we are careful, we can misconstrue these radical statement from Jesus in the Gospels and begin to think that he doesn't want the best for us."

And that's where I got kicked in the teeth. If I really believe what the Jesus of the Bible says about being a follower, shouldn't I already know that He has my best interests at heart? Shouldn't I realize that even though it seems excruciatingly hard for me to sacrifice my own life, for one sold out to him, that in the end I am getting the ultimate best for me. Afterall, Jesus loved me enough to pay my ransom, wouldn't He know what is best for my life?

Finally, on page 21 DP writes in regard to the rest of his book, "We will look at the core truth of a God-centered gospel and how we have manipulated it into a human-centered (and ultimately dissatisfying) message. We will see a purpose for our lives that transcends the country and culture we live in, and we will see our desperate need for his presence to fulfill that purpose in us."

"...and in the end we will determine not to waste our lives on anything but uncompromising, unconditional abandonment to a gracious, loving Savior who invites us to take radical risk and promises us radical reward."

I don't know about you, but the thought of radically abandoning my own selfish desires, my own comfortable life, for one that will accomplish the purposes of Christ is SCARY. It shakes me to my core. It brings tears to my eyes and lump in my throat. What if God asks me to do something HARD? I don't wanna do anything hard!

Following the Jesus of Scripture could cost me everything I hold closest.

But what's my alternative? To live a comfortable life worshiping a Jesus that I've crammed into my middle-class world? Is that really even worshiping Jesus or would I then be worshiping a false god that I've created?

Truly I see no choice. If I say I believe in Jesus Christ as the atonement for my sin, then I have no choice. If I say I know that Jesus took my burden, paid a ransom for my life, and I love him within the depths of my soul, then I have no choice.

Radical abandonment to Christ is the legacy I want to leave. Following the Jesus of the Bible is my only hope.

--------

What did you think about Chapter 1? I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Radical: What is Jesus worth to you?

Luke and I have been listening to David Platt for a few years now. People, he's bold. He examines the Scriptures and cuts out all the fluff of what the American Christian walk is perceived as and tells you what it should be.

I love that he makes no excuses for the Bible and what it says. I love that he rocks my world when I listen to his messages. I love that he takes the words of Scripture and tells you, flat out, what your responsibility is as a believer in Jesus Christ.

And, truthfully, about 18 months ago, Luke and I listened to one of David Platt's podcasts and I walked away seriously questioning my salvation and the authenticity of my faith. Truly, listening to this young pastor, just 31 years old, (who holds degrees far beyond my intellect) I am challenged to the core about what I say I believe about my God and about my Savior.

When Luke and I found out that David Platt was releasing a book, we were super excited. Luke picked up the book last week and we are reading our way through it, together. I'm already through Chapter 1 and I just cannot tell you how much it is already challenging me. Take a look at the promo video below and if you'd like, go pick up the book yourself and feel free to leave your comments. You can purchase the book here or at your local bookstore.

Additionally, you can go to radicalthebook.com, scroll to the bottom of the page and enter your email address for free access to Chapter 1.

I'll plan on posting about my thoughts and Chapter 1 later this week. I would say "Happy Reading!" but I really think Radical Reading is more accurate.

So...Radical Reading, everyone!

Radical by David Platt from Taylor Robinson on Vimeo.

PS: You can find and download David Platt's podcasts on iTunes. But be warned, they will cause you to radically look inside your heart and see if the faith you claim is really the faith you live.

(I was in no way compensated for blogging about this book or encouraging others to read or buy it. I just love Jesus a whole lot and I think this book might be the ticket to getting myself and others to authentically live out what we say we believe.)

Das Not Funny! Friday: Dis. Is. Serweousss.

Wow. I think the days fly by faster and faster each week, don't you? Maybe it's the 6 kids thing. Maybe it's because I'm getting very little sleep. Maybe it's just because it's officially summer here and we play that hard all day.

Or maybe the days just go by faster and faster each week. No matter how you slice it, it's Friday again which means it's time for another edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. Not sure what Das Not Funny! Friday is all about? Click here for details.

Here's the funnies....

One day earlier this week Ashlee was crawling into our 15 passenger van and I just couldn't resist. Her booty is just much too cute. I reached up and gave it a little squeeze. With that, Ashlee whipped her little red-head around and said,

"Mom, be careful near butts. They'll shoot poop on you."

I think my friend Cathy is right. It's staggering the percentage of my life that is devoted to poop.

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Sometimes it's humorous that the kids feel the need to tell me when Ella is crying. Sometimes, it's not particularly funny. Like when we are in the car and Ella is screaming her head off. Such was the case earlier this week. Ashlee was sitting beside her and pipes up from the back seat,

"Mom! Ella's cwying."

Stressing about the situation I respond, not so nicely, "I can hear that Ashlee."

To which Ashlee retorts, "Dis. Is. Serweoussss."

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Finally, I've debated back and forth, back and forth, back and forth on whether to tell you all this one. But, every time I think about it, I chuckle.

When Ella was about 3 weeks old, Luke took a day off work and we took the WHOLE family to the zoo. At the time, Ella refused to take a pacci. Plus, she HATES her carseat (even now). Most times when she is in her carseat, she screams and screams and screams, as I referenced in the above story.

We live about 40 minutes from the zoo. All the kids were tired and we were trying desperately to get home before anyone fell asleep (as to ensure that everyone would take a good, long nap when we got back). Ella, as I mentioned, was screaming her face off. As her cries became more and more stressful, I tried harder and harder to get her to love her pacci.

Gagging and screaming ensued.

Finally, I did what I had to do. As Luke drove our van, I draped my body over Ella's carset and nursed her while we drove down the road. I can only imagine what the view looked like to the car behind us to my children in the seats behind me. However, it worked. After about 3 minutes, she was snoozing soundly and we drove the remainder of the way home without Ella serenading us with her wails.

Now, if I could just figure out how to do that and drive the van...

Y'all have a fabulous weekend. That's an order.

Bound by birth, Adopted with love

God orchestrates all things for His glory for those who love Him. Did you know that? I had read it right here before but it never really hit me exactly how it worked until many months after we had taken Aaron as our first placement as his foster parents. You see, shortly after the phone call we received informing us of Aaron's birth and, additionally, asking us of we'd be willing to take him into our home, I was on the phone with another woman who cared deeply about our sweet Aaron.

She was not someone from the Department of Social Services (DSS) office. She was not his birth mother. However, she cared deeply for him even though she'd never met him.

I remember sitting there at our table, listening to her voice through my phone, not totally understanding what was about to happen. I remember wondering what her role in his life would be, what it could have been, if only circumstances had been different.

You see this woman, who told me how much she loved our new little baby, had a very special connection to him.

She is the mother of Aaron's biological brothers.

She had walked the road that we were about to journey down. She had the dirt and blisters on her feet and sweat and blood on her brow from miles of walking a road that is tough and not for the faint at heart. She and her husband knew what it meant to love someone as your own flesh when they come from the womb of another woman.

And although much of Aaron's story is for him to tell and not me, I wanted to share with you all a very special relationship that our family is forming with some very special people.

These two precious boys share the same birth parents as our sweet Aaron. "N" and "C" are so sweet and all boy, just like our Aaron. They share similar features, like their bright blue eyes and a sweet, round nose. In fact, when their Mom "S" shared some of N and C's baby photos with me, it was like looking at photos of our Aaron, except with double vision!

And one day, they will share in being told the same story. The story of entering into foster care for reasons privileged only to them. The story of being placed into the arms of a mother who grew them in her heart, rather than her womb. The story of being loved, unconditionally, even though they didn't belong to this new family by birth.

The story of Mr. T and Mrs. S desiring to begin their boys' relationship with our son early on, when Aaron and N and C were only tiny babies.

(This is Aaron, at 2 months old, with N and C who were 14 months.)

The story of love, that brought them from what could have been to what truly is. Currently, we enjoy a loving relationship and special bond with N and C's family. They have kept Aaron on several occasions, even overnight. Both Mr. T and Mrs. S, as well as Luke and myself, desire for our boys to know that they are brothers.

This special relationship, we pray, will help them understand their unique situations as they grow older. And, as they one day struggle to understand the circumstances with their birth parents, we pray that having each other will help. We pray that growing up more than just birth siblings, but as friends, they will be able to identify with someone who comes from where they come from.

And ultimately, my prayer is that each of them will be able to cling to the One who provided a way for us all to be adopted, even when they are uncertain about the reasons for their worldly adoption.


This is what is unique about adopting a child through our local foster care agency (or in our case, our county's DSS). Often, ties with birth family is available. For us, being adoptive parents isn't about cutting them off from their birth family. It isn't about alienating them from who they are by birth.

However, they did come into foster care for a reason. Unfortunately, and all to often, those reasons prohibit us from feeling like there is a safe way for them to interact with birth family. In Aaron's case these boys, his birth brothers, are in a safe and loving home where spending time with them is not only possible but pleasurable. Mr. T and Mrs. S love Aaron so very much and it is evident on their faces each time they see him. Likewise, we adore N and C, although our time with them is much more sparse right now (due to the needs of our other children, we don't get 1 on 1 time - or 1 on 2 time - like we'd enjoy).

For neither of our fostered/adopted children, a relationship with their birth parents is not healthy or possible at this time in their lives. But, we when the time comes that they ask questions, we will not lie. Truth will prevail in our answers about their past. And while we will have to reveal things to them that will surely break their hearts and make them question their value, we pray that they will find their answer right in front of them.

We love them. God loves them.

For Olivia, having a relationship with birth family is proving more difficult. We wanted to wait until her adoption was final before pursuing those relationships. Now that her adoption is legal, we plan on beginning that process so that she may begin forming relationships with stable members of her birth family.

These are new waters for us to navigate, this balance between birth family and our family. But, we feel confident that the Lord placed these children into our home for a purpose. He placed them here for His purpose. And our desires are to allow our adopted children as much interaction with birth family that is safe. We feel blessed to have such with Aaron's birth brothers. For Olivia it will be new ground that we will walk on lightly, with our eyes prayerfully fixed on the One who knew all of this before the creation of the world.

I feel the need to clarify

Did you read this post and this post and this post?

If so, I feel like I need to clear the air a bit. I know that several people who actually know us IRL (in real life) read my blog. I also know that, of those people who know us IRL, some are shocked by what I'm saying here about the direction and future of our family.

But I'm going to be very honest here. I don't know why it's so shocking.

For the life of me I can't figure out why the possibility of us moving somewhere that the Lord is leading us to is shocking. Truly, if you've been reading here for any amount of time or if you've pilfered (wow, that really is a word?) through my archives at all, you would (hopefully) see that we are trying desperately to obey and follow the Jesus that we proclaim to love. And, if you DO know us IRL I'd hope that when you see our actions that they would be consistent with what my words on this screen are saying.

Do we mess up? Yes.

Do we slip and fall and make huge mistakes? Absolutely.

If you know us intimately, do we often say or do things that aren't like Jesus? Without a doubt.

Truthfully, we've never claimed perfection. I pray that we've never come across as "holier than thou" in our interactions or, even more, hypocritical. If you've known us for any length of time, I sincerely hope that you've seen us change. I hope you've seen a dramatic change in our words, in our actions and in our lifestyle.

But, even with those changes we are still going to make mistakes. Despite trying to live in obedience to God, despite trying to allow His Holy Spirit to work within us to make life altering changes, we will still falter.

If we never failed or made mistakes (or never admitted to them anyway) then we would be claiming perfection. And claiming such would be in direct opposition of what we know to be true. Only One was perfect. Only One lived a blameless life.

He is the reason we are choosing to live this life filled with uncertainty and craziness. Only because of Him and the dramatic life changes He has performed within us are we willing to abandon the normalcy of our culture and cling to the words that He left for us to follow.

No, we are certainly not perfect nor do we have it all figured out.

In this post I said that we had a burden for Africa and her hurting children. In that same post, I said that we were feeling called to missions. But if you will also recall with me, I also told you of my ultimate fear. I told you "I was afraid that I'd say something then it would never come to pass and then I'd look like a stupid Christian who blindly follows some pie-in-the-sky God who really doesn't speak to people."

I'm still afraid of that. What if I mess this up? What if I do this God thing wrong and no one ever comes to know the Lord through my life? But then, not too long ago, I realized something.

I'm not that important.

Sure God can use me to accomplish His purposes but He doesn't have to.

So now, instead of living afraid of getting God wrong, I'm even more afraid of not testing and discerning the will of God. I'm even more afraid of not seeking God's call on our lives and instead conforming to the way the world looks. (Romans 12:2)

So, that is what we are attempting to do. We are attempting to test and discern God's will for our family. So far, He is pressing missions on our hearts. He is pressing Africa on our hearts. For just under 4 years now, He has been pressing those things upon us and we've been turning to the left and right, blinded to Him in that area.

That's all we know.

As of today, we have no plans to move to Africa. As of today, we are renting a house, living debt free so that when God tells us to do His work, we can. As of today, I am focusing on my children, focusing on God's word and seeing the ways that I stumble in both of those areas each and every day.

Yes, we have applied for passports. Yes, we are planning on making a trip to Kenya at some point in the next year.

But that's it. That's all we know. And if I've learned anything during my short walk with the Lord, it is certainly Proverbs 16:9 which says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."

So we plan. We make decisions for our family that we see aligning with where God is leading (and with Scripture). We think and act on what we feel God is pressing on our hearts. But ultimately the Lord will establish our steps. Ultimately, we could feel led somewhere and God could make it very clear that we've missed the mark. And, I fully expect that to happen at some point. After all, how can a creation expect to fully understand the desires of the creator?

We do not desire to hurt our family and friends' feelings. We do not desire to abandon the people we love the most just because it seems like fun (and no, moving far away from family - if that's God's desires - does not feel fun). But, I cannot find Scripture that supports living a comfortable life just because we can. I cannot find Scripture that says being a follower of Jesus is easy and comfortable and we should just accept it as such and live life going to church on Sunday and making sure we don't cuss too much. I cannot find Scripture that tells us to wait until our children are older before we begin to obey.

The Bible I read says to love the Lord above all else. It says to forsake all things to follow Him. And yes, that's a tough pill to swallow.

Finally, I'd like to add, that what looks like obedience for us may not be what is obedient for you. Just because God called us to have all these kids, doesn't mean that it's your calling. Just because God is making our hearts burdened for missions doesn't mean YOU should become a missionary (but you should support missions - but that's another post for another day). What I will challenge you with is this:

If you are a believer in the risen Savior Jesus, if you truly believe that one Man lived blamelessly, died shamefully and paid the ransom for your sinful life so that you could one day stand in the throne room of God completely debt free, then you should be willing to live a life sold out for Jesus. Your life should look so radically different from the world that others are looking at YOU saying, "What the crap?! Why would you do that?!"

If such is not the case, I challenge you to examine your own heart. Read God's word and back through old journals. Seek what the Lord has been placing before you time and time and time again and realize that it is entirely possible that He is calling you out of your comfort zone. He is calling you to live a life that looks drastically different from the world. And, quite possibly, it will be a life you are afraid of, never dreamed of and cannot do on your own (thus giving Him the opportunity to perform a miracle, right before your eyes).

But, what I can promise you is that missing out on the blessings of your Father through unfaithful disobedience will be the 2nd biggest mistake you will ever make. The first being the choice to turn from Him, while His hands sit open, waiting on you to take up your ransom for your very own life.

PS: If you know us IRL (or even if you don't!) and have questions about why we feel led to the things that we do, PLEASE ASK. We'd love to share with you how amazing God is and how incredibly blessed we are.

Das Not Funny! Friday: Nights of the round at the rectangular table

I can't believe it's Friday again. Where does the time go?

Welcome to this week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. New to Das Not Funny! Friday? Click here to see what it's all about. Wanna read more Das Not Funny! Friday posts? Click here or on the Das Not Funny! Friday button in my sidebar.

Now, on with the funnies...

One night at dinner, Olivia ate her entire dinner like this...


The more we laughed, the more she kept her face covered.

Hysterical.

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Last night at dinner....

Lucas: "Thank you fadder, thank you fadder, for our food, for our food. Andourmanyblessings, andourmanyblessings," FARRRRRRTTTTTT, (never missing a beat) "Excuse me. Ah-ah-men, ah-ah-men."

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A different night at dinner...

Elizabeth was begging us to give her "hard" questions about different facts from the Bible. In addition, Lucas and Ashlee were wanting questions as well.

Luke: "Okay Ashlee. Do you remember the name of Jesus' Mommy?"

Ashlee: "JESUS!"

Luke: "No Ash. Who is Jesus' Mommy?"

Ashlee: Blank stare

Luke: "Ashlee, Mmmmm....."

Ashlee: "MOMMY!"

Luke: "No, what is her name Ash? Mmmmmmaaaaaa..."

Ashlee: Blank stare

Luke: "Mary?"

Ashlee: "MARY!"

Elizabeth: "Yeah. Like Mommy and Daddy kissed when they got maaaarrrrried."

Y'all have a great weekend!

So serious

Sometimes, when I feel so serious, my Mommy can catch my eye...

...and she does something funny so I will flash her one of these...

...and so my Mommy keeps going until my tiny grin turns into this...

...and so Mommy keeps going, making silly sounds and faces hoping to get more of these...

...until finally my Mommy does something stupid...

...and then it's not funny anymore.

Being a Mom is tough

I just love this post by Courtney.

She's so right, you know. Being a Mom is tough. And you don't need a qualifier of six (or more) kids to admit that. Being a Mom was tough for me when Elizabeth was just an infant. It was SO tough. And, even though I have 6 times the kids that I had way back then, it continues to be just as challenging, just in different ways.

Being a Mom of 1 is equally as difficult as being a Mom of 5 or 6 or 10. Sure the challenges are different as you welcome more children into your home. But I'd venture to guess that if I could play back for myself a video taped day of me, when we just had Elizabeth, Lucas and Ashlee (half the number of kids I have now) that most of the challenges I faced then, I am still facing.

Just because I've acquired lots of children doesn't mean I've figured out this job of wife and mother. I still struggle to keep my house clean. I still have a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. I still have a hard time cutting out a part of me for my husband at the end of the day. I still struggle to find time in God's word. And those are just a few of my many, many struggles. I could go on but I won't because that's not my intention for this post.

The point is, being a Mom is tough.

And all too often, we Moms don't make it easy on ourselves or each other. We impose judgment and cast disapproving glances at one another. We compare ourselves to someone who appears to have it all together and then beat ourselves up over our perceived flaws. We see Mothers who have perfect children and then wrestle with our own kids, begging them, if only in our minds, to be like so-and-so. We wonder why in the world that Mother made that choice with her child and then we wait to see if it will backfire on her.

Being a Mom around other Moms is tough.

Why do we do that to ourselves and to each other? Why don't we just encourage each other and grow with each other rather than playing this game of compare and contrast?

I think it's because we are too afraid of other people seeing our faults and then, later, using them against us. At least that's how I feel. Sometimes I'm too afraid to admit that I haven't dusted since we moved (which was March 1st, if you're keeping track). Sometimes I'm too concerned with the comments I'll get if I admit that I want to get into the car and drive away, in any direction other than my house, without my children in the backseats. Because, after all, it was my choice to have all these kids, wasn't it?

But I'm not perfect. And, I'd guess that you aren't either. And I'd even go further to say that I bet you and I struggle with the exact same things most days. Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, whether you have 1 kid or you have 12 kids, I'd guess that at the end of the day you and I both (finally) sit down and think, "Crap! I can't believe I didn't get ___________ again today!" (Insert: the laundry done, my quiet time, my house cleaned, that project finished etc, etc, etc.)

Life is hard and being a Mom makes it that much more.

So, I'd like to use this post for us Moms (or Dads, if any actually read and want to comment) to encourage each other. I'd like for us to openly uplift each other and, in turn, recognize an area that we are struggling. I'm not asking for deep, dark secrets just the average. Just give me something of surface value if nothing else.

Here are the rules...First you list a way you are struggling to fulfill your role as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. It doesn't have to be a deep, personal something just an everyday struggle.

THEN,

you list a way that you think that you are rockin' it as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. Feel free to also add a note of advice or encouragement to a commenter before you. But be sure to end on the positive, mmmkay?

For example, if someone above me in the comments said that they were struggling to find a way to NOT loose socks in the laundry I might offer to them what I have found is currently working for our family.

Which is..I've started taking a mesh, lingerie bag and hanging it beside the dirty laundry basket. EVERY SINGLE SOCK that does not belong to myself or my husband goes into the bag. When it's full, I zip it and toss it in the next load of laundry. At the end, all the socks SHOULD be in the bag. Unless your dryer really does eat socks, then you're in a heap of trouble.

Then I tell you how I'm struggling...

I can't figure out a way to stay on top of folding and putting away clean laundry. It just accumulates in a steady pile mountain on our love seat.

And how I'm rockin' it...

I didn't feed my kids McDonald's more than once last week (See, I told you it could be simple!)

or the more profound might be that Luke and I are in the process of purging our house of unnecessary clothing and toys and CRAP and it feels oh-so-good.

See? Simple. And I really know I could use some encouragement and some counsel on all the challenges that come with being a Mom.

So, ladies (or gents) what do you say? Are you in? I sure hope so because I'm already looking forward to your comments! I need to know I'm not the only imperfect Mother and I could sure glean from your wisdom.

Das Not Funny! Friday: I was saving that!

Holy frijoles! It's Friday again? I think my weeks keep getting shorter and shorter. While I don't know if I can top last week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday I can tell you some of the things our children did this week that I found pretty hysterical.

(On a side note: I had to go back to the optometrist on Wednesday to pick up the glasses I ordered. This is the 3rd time I've been back since the incident yet only the 1st time since then that I've ventured back to the bathroom again. Um..yeah, it looks A LOT different than it did the last time. AND they've either added a second paper towel holder since Lucas and I were there or I totally missed it the last time - which is possible. And, it would have been nice to see the "extra" paper towel holder the last time since it had actual paper towels and not the generic bathroom kind that disintegrate when you get water on them.)

Alrighty, on with the funnies...

On Wednesday as I was putting together The Mothership I had a special little "helper" named Olivia. My helper enjoyed playing in the dog bowl and a tiny little stream of water that was running across the sidewalk, despite my efforts to keep her out of the dog bowl and dry. As I was intently focused on one step of the assembly instructions I hear from behind me...

"Sllllluuuuuurrrrrrpppppp"

I turn around and see Olivia, with her face pressed onto the concrete. Yes, she was "drinking" from this:

That's when I decided that maybe she was thirsty and we got her a sippy cup.

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Elizabeth LOVES to accessorize her hair. It's not uncommon for her to have in multiple hair clips or pony tail holders (which we call hair-ties) and a headband or large flower clip. From her bedroom one afternoon this week I heard,

"Mooooooooom! Can you come help me get this out of my hair?"

"Sure peanut, give me a couple minutes, okay?" I responded.

A few seconds later she walked into the kitchen holding a hair tie with a massive clump of hair attached to it.

"Here Mom," she said nonchalantly, "I just janked the hair tie outta my hair without you."

Nice. And the bald spot goes perfectly with her eyes.

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Wednesday night we had cupcakes for dessert, after dinner. I'm working on cleaning up the kitchen, while Luke conquers baths. Lucas and Elizabeth are standing in the kitchen having some discussion that I am either too old or too stupid to follow. Something about dinosaurs and princes, I'm not sure. At any rate, Elizabeth is finished with her cupcake yet still has a face covered in white icing. She also has a large blob of icing just beside her mouth on her chin.

I see Lucas stretch out his pudgy index finger, swipe the icing off her chin and cheerfully stick the dollop of icing into his mouth.

He smiles, clearly pleased with his additional sugar intake.

Suddenly, Elizabeth realizes what he's done and screams, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I WAS SAVING THAT!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! MOOOOOOM! I WAS SAVING THAT FOR LATER!!"

Tears and wailing and excessive screams followed except I didn't hear much else she was saying because I was too busy trying to catch my breath.

Y'all have a great weekend!

The Mothership

When we first found out that I was pregnant with Ella (though we obviously didn't know it was Ella then) one of my first thoughts (after the reality of us actually have SIX children set in) was transportation.

At the time we were driving the Big Red Beast which only had 7 seats. In the world of automobile transportation we were maxed out. Additionally, in the world of stroller transportation, we were also maxed out.

You see, back before the twins were born a very generous friend bought us a double stroller as a baby shower gift. It was an awesome stroller that has served us very well over the last 4 years. However, that double stroller does not accommodate infant carriers. When the twins were still in their infant carriers we just took two single strollers everywhere and clipped their carriers onto compatible single strollers. When Aaron and Olivia were in infant carriers it was always a bit trickier. I was always waking up a little baby to transfer him or her to the double stroller. It wasn't fun.

Now that we have 3 little ones who need a ride when we are out and about it became clear we needed wanted a new stroller. I mean, after all, these two had used our current one..

as well as these two...

Yes, our trusty double stroller had served us well these last four years, but it was slowly dying a painful death. That bar on the front had somehow gotten ripped off as well as the carrying strap that helps you fold the darn thing up. Not to mention the baskets on the bottom had been well used and were stretched and literally dragging the ground. Basically, the only parts still in tact were the seatbelts and wheels.

Other strollers mocked us when we went out into public.

So, what do you do when you have 3 little ones under 2 years old AND you need want a stroller that accommodates an infant carrier?

You call in the big dogs, that's what.

Behold the mothership of all multiple capacity strollers.

Yesterday when I saw this box sitting in my carport, I may or may not have physically clapped my hands. I also may or may not have emitted an excited little girl shriek and hopped up and down for a brief second until I realized IT IS JUST A STROLLER and I should get a stinkin' grip.

Here's a little perspective for you. This is Ashlee beside the mothership shortly after she was removed from the box (the stroller, not Ashlee).

It would do you good to know that I made Ashlee move from her spot in "time out" and stand beside the stroller so I could take a picture for you all. Additionally, the ONLY reason she is smiling in this picture is because I told her that if she smiled, she could get up from time out.

That's award-winning parenting right there.

Anyway, this stroller is serious business. Assembly was not easy, especially considering that this person really wanted my undivided attention...

and I only had to install about 57 different sized washers before attaching the wheels. Thankfully, this person....

thought he could handle a fussy little sister and proceeded to do this for the next 10 minutes...

which resulted in Ella doing this...

This sad face was quickly resolved with a ride in the kikoi and after Luke arrived home from work, I finished up assembling the mothership and packed my people on for a test ride.

See Aaron back there in his little "jump seat?" He is SO stinkin' proud of himself! This morning's trip to CBS went extremely well and it was so much less stressful than packing up the double stroller and struggling with Ella's carset on one arm while pushing the double stroller with the other hand.

Which proves, in my opinion, that evolution could not possibly be plausible. Because if it were, I would have surely started growing a much needed 3rd arm by now. And I'm most certainly not.

Ella at 1 month

I can hardly believe our sweet little Ella is already 1 month (and 3 days) old! I guess time flies when you're having fun, huh? My BFF Amanda gave me the idea to blog about Ella month by month so that I don't forget all those little details that fade from my memory so very quickly.

At one month old, my sweet Ella Joy loves to be held. During the day she naps on her tummy with Mommy and her brothers and sisters "checking" on her regularly. She's such a content baby and seems unphased by the noise, kisses, hugs and constant love pats. I guess after 42 weeks of hearing it from the inside, the outside isn't much of a change!

She loves for me to carry her in my kikoi (sling) and when we are outside (or out and about) she takes her naps in there. I'm truly loving my kikoi and I never thought I'd turn around and drive 15 minutes back home just to get it. It's a must have now that I've discovered how to really be a "baby wearing" Momma. (PS: If you'd like one, email me and I can hook you up! They're super inexpensive, will help support some great friends' adoption fund and straight from Africa!)

She still has adorable chubby cheeks that I cannot resist smooching. Her umbilical stump finally fell off at 3.5 weeks old and she had her first real bath a day or so later. So far, she LOVES bath time and I love her clean baby smell.

A few intentional smiles have slipped across her face and a few small coos have echoed from her sweet, little mouth. I'm still deciding on who she looks the most like, now thinking she will surely favor Lucas most. Her soft, red hair reminds me so much of Ashlee's baby fuzz while her calm, laid-back personality is reminiscent of her eldest sister's in so many ways.

Night times are getting easier. She sleeps swaddled up and alternates between sleeping beside me in the bed while nursing, sleeping in the bassinet and sleeping in the swing that's in our bedroom. For the last several nights, she's gone 3 hours stretches between feedings!

I prayed that the Lord would bless us with an easy-going baby and He did just that. I am absolutely smitten with her just as I was with another special, little girl not too long ago.

Das Not Funny! Friday: My optometrist's blind janitor

Holy moly it's Friday? Somebody should create some device that I can hang on my wall to remind me what day it is.

Anyway, logically I know it's Friday because we have Art class and gymnastics on Friday. In the land of blogs, I forget so, so easily.

Okay, prepare yourselves. Some of these may be funny. And some may be just down-right gross.

Welcome to this week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. New to Das Not Funny! Friday? Click here or on the Das Not Funny! Friday button on my sidebar to find out more.

Okay, let's get this show on the road, whatta ya say?

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About a year ago my eldest 3 children discovered a box of VHS tapes that my mother-in-law had sent us from Luke's childhood stash of junk. Every.single.video was Looney Tunes. Most people don't still own a VCR. We are not most people.

Clearly.

Anyway, every few weeks the older kids get on a Looney Tunes kick. It's ALL they want to watch. This week is one of those weeks. As they all 3 laid in the bed watching Looney Tunes the following conversation transpires.

Lucas: "Hey guys. I bet dat a cheetah could beat the woad wunner. Cheetahs are weal fast wunners. But da cheetahs could catch Wyle We. Coyote."

Ashlee: "I'm weal fast. I bet I could catch the waod wunner."

Elizabeth: "Yeah. You are fast Ash. I bet you could wear a cheetah out, girl!"

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Earlier last week...

Lucas: "Hey Mom?"

Me: "Yeah Buddy?"

Lucas: "Remember when I pushed-ed that watermeldon down the stairs?"

Me: "Um. Yeah Bud. That's hard to forget."

Lucas: "Yeah. That was a bad choice."

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Finally, this one is lengthy and I apologize but it is too good not to share. About 3 weeks ago I went in for my annual eye appointment and contact fitting. The week before Luke had his appointment and took Ashlee with him. To appease Lucas, I told him that when I went the next week, I'd take him with me.

I forgot I'd have a nursing newborn with me as well. But, I had made a promise so off Lucas, Ella and I go to the eye doctor. Lucas brought a puzzle and some stickers with him and was doing fabulously. First, the assistant has me remove my contacts. Then, she numbs and dilates my eyes.

Basically, I'm now legally blind.

After a few minutes of waiting, Lucas announces that he has to go to the bathroom. Since we'd just went a few minutes before, when we had arrived, I sent him down the hall on his own. A few seconds later I hear,

"Mooooooooom!! I need help!"

I step into the hallway. (Which, you should know, is the only hallway in the building and it goes from the front door all the way back to the bathroom. Everyone in the waiting area can see down the hallway. Well, everyone with their eye sight still in tact. Mine is not, remember?)

All I see is Lucas in his shirt, a large space of nakedness, and his shorts covering his shoes.

"Lucas!" I stammer, "Pull your pants up! Everyone can see you!"

"I'm sorry Mommy," he says, almost in tears, "I tried to make in on the potty."

I enter into the bathroom, still mostly blind and see a general white area I assume is the toilet. On the front of the toilet I see a large, brown blob.

"What happened?" I ask Lucas sincerely, since I CAN'T REALLY SEE.

"I pooped but didn't make it on the potty," he said, clearly upset.

For the next 20 minutes I attempt to clean up a bathroom full of poop with little-to-no vision. Because my eyes are dilated, having on the bathroom light feels like I'm staring directly into the sun. My dilated eyes also inhibit my already contact-less eye sight.

As I wipe the floor, Lucas makes general comments like, "Oh! There's some Momma.....Oops, you stepped on it."

I take paper towels and some hand soap and clean up and down both sides of Lucas' legs. Afterall, it would have been inappropriate for him to wear anything other than athletic shorts and his cowboy boots out in public. Which means, his poop fell out of his shorts and down INTO his boots. I end up throwing away his underwear and socks. By the grace of God his shorts remained poop-less. (Or so I think. I was going on my sense of smell since I COULDN'T SEE.)

Then, I begin cleaning up the rest of the floor. However, this facility has clearly been in use for a while. Like most public bathrooms with tile, it has those brownish stains on the floor. To a person with dilated eyes and NO VISION all of those areas appear to be smudged with poop.

So, I'm blindly wiping off the entire floor, unsure if I'm cleaning up poop or just performing general janitorial services for my optometrist.

At the time it was entirely stressful because Ella HATES her carset and was screaming her head off in the patient room down the hall. Now, it's mildly comical.

To top it all off, last night when Luke and I went on our date, our optometrist came in and sat at the table beside us.

He totally pretended like he didn't know us. I'm totally not kidding.

Or, maybe he just didn't recognize me with my eyesight fully intact.

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I've added back the Linky. If you'd like to write a Das Not Funny! Friday post, I'd love to read it. It's VERY simple, just click on the link below and enter the URL (the web address for your post) into the empty fields!

Happy Friday everyone! Have a blessed weekend!