I bet you all were beginning to wonder if I had forgotten all about Das Not Funny! Friday. Well, I have NOT! In fact, so many hilarious things have happened in the last few weeks that this might be the longest Das Not Funny! Friday post in history. Maybe. If I can remember where I saved them all.
New to Das Not Funny! Friday? Wanna know what it's all about and why I blog about it? Click here for details.
Alrighty peeps, I'm telling you, these things just had me cracking up. Most of the time my laughter could not even be contained. Pure hilarity I tell you. I hope they make you laugh as much as they did me!
Aaron has a terrible habit of refusing to keep his feet off of the table while we eat. He puts his feet up there, we move them down and tell him "NO!" He looks at us, spitefully, and places them back on the table. After hearing me correct Aaron one too many times, Luke crosses the kitchen, grabs something to "spank" Aaron with and comes over to the table and pops Aaron on the exposed, table-resting foot with.....(are you ready for this?).....a Barbie leg.
Not an entire Barbie with just the leg extended for optimal spanking.
Nope.
A random, detached Barbie leg just like this one:
I say "just like" because I think we threw the original Barbie leg/spanker away. Lucky for Annnnnnyway....moving right along.....
Baby Girl has the foulest smelling diapers I've ever encountered. How a 19 pound someone can have such a horrid stench is beyond me. She can make grown men gag and it is not uncommon for her to crawl into another room and poop and me smell it without even entering into her presence.
It's bad y'all.
One night Ashlee gets out of bed and comes to our room. Our door creeps open and she says, "Mom. [Baby Girl] poopt."
"Okay honey," I say, "I'll be right there to change her. Go back to bed, okay?"
She obeys and shuts our door. About 90 seconds later our door reopens.
"Mommy," Ashlee says, "my woom wealwe stinks and now, I can't go to sweep."
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Driving home one afternoon, we stop at an intersection just in time to see an ambulance, with sirens blaring, cross in front of us.
"Look Mom!" Lucas yells, "A firebus!"
"No, baby," I correct, "that's an ambulance."
"No! A firebus!" Lucas insists.
"No sweetie, that was an ambulance. It's going to help someone who is sick." I say.
"Yeah," Elizabeth inserts, "someone is hurt and blooding everywhere or got smashed by their car. Or, their leg fell off."
Hummmm.....maybe that explains the Barbie leg.
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Earlier this week, while I was at an OB check up our babysitter texts me the following:
Lucas: "Why did God make this house?"
Elizabeth: "He didn't. He just told other people to make it. Then we put all this stuff in it. But God made the doors. And Aaron."
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Last night 3 of the 5 children starting coming down with some sort of stomach/fever virus. After Ashlee finished puking into the toilet and as I was wiping off her face she states, breathlessly,
"Oh. Da baby's makin' me grow up."
(If you can't figure it out, Lucas and Ashlee both say "grow up" for "throw up." Good to know hat this pregnancy has had a lasting impression on my 3 year old daughter.)
Alrighty peeps, now it's your turn if you wish you play along. All you've gotta do is write your own Das Not Funny! Friday post and then enter your info into MckLinky. Then, visit and laugh and have a great start to your weekend.
I'm hoping ours turns into a good one and NOT one filled with fevers and squirts and "growin' up" as last night's behaviors seemed to indicate.
Happy Friday Y'all.
Too funny! Thanks for the laughs and hope everyone is feeling much better SOON!
ReplyDeleteThese were great! I loved the barbie spanking one!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I was laughing big time with the whole barbie leg!!! :0D
ReplyDeleteP.S. I've gotta funny on my blog!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA I so look forward to Friday's at your hot spot! :). Oh the laughter! HAHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteA Barbie leg! HAHAHA OH my goodness... REALLY!?! haha
Your kids are a riot! And such thinkers, too. This was my first time reading a Das Not Funny post, and definitely not my last.
ReplyDeletePDeverit,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment. Please know that even though we disagree in this area, I welcome your views. I appreciate the tact you used to address such a debatable and delicate issue.
The beautiful thing about living in the US is that we are free to employ several methods of discipline as we parent our children.
Spanking is just ONE of the MANY methods my husband and I use to discipline, correct and modify our childrens' behaviors. It is not used as the SOLE disciplinary measure in our home. First and foremost our goal is to raise our children to have a Biblical worldview consistent with what the Bible teaches as appropriate behavior.
Naturally, we will fail at times. It IS a learning process, this parenting thing.
Finally, I am so glad that our government has chosen NOT to use extreme measures and ban spanking as a method of discipline. I would hate to think that our government would regulate our homes in such a way. I would shudder to think what might come next. Banning the use of the Bible as a corrective teaching tool as well?
Again, thank you for your respectful comments.
Letter of the law or spirit of the law?:
ReplyDeleteThe vast majority of professionals agree that child bottom-battering/slapping isn’t healthy. A marginal few (mostly religious fundamentalists as those at Calvin) think that child bottom-slapping is good.
"The much-touted 'biblical argument' in support of corporal punishment is founded upon proof-texting a few isolated passages from Proverbs. Using the same method of selective scripture reading, one could also cite the Bible as an authority for the practice of slavery, adultery, polygamy, incest, suppression of women, executing people who eat pork, and infanticide. The brutal and vindictive practice of corporal punishment cannot be reconciled with the major New Testament themes that teach love and forgiveness and a respect for the sacredness and dignity of children, and which overwhelmingly reject violence and retribution as a means of solving human problems. Would Jesus ever hit a child? NEVER!"
The Rev. Thomas E. Sagendorf, United Methodist Clergy (Retired), Hamilton, Indiana. Personal communication, 2006.
"I have always been an advocate for the total abolition of corporal punishment and I believe the connection with pornography that is so oriented has its roots in our tradition of beating children."
Gordon Moyes, D. D., Pastor, Uniting Church, Superintendent of the Wesley Central Mission, Sydney, Australia. Excerpt from personal communication, 1980.
"I have never accepted the principle of 'spare the rod and spoil the child.'... I am persuaded that violent fathers produce violent sons... Children don't need beating. They need love and encouragement. They need fathers to whom they can look with respect rather than fear. Above all, they need example."
Gordon B. Hinckley, President, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, October 1994 General Conference.
"If we really want a peaceful and compassionate world, we need to build communities of trust where all children are respected, where home and school are safe places to be and where discipline is taught by example."
Desmond M. Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus, Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children, 2006.
United Methodist Church
UMC General Conference, May 3, 2004, takes a stand against corporal punishment in all settings.
The LDS Church
I've never been a believer in the physical punishment of children. I don't think it's necessary.
Gordon B. Hinckley, President
Resources for Christian DISCIPLINE (as opposed to child bottom-slapping):
Christlike Parenting by Dr. Glenn I. Latham
http://www.parentrx.com/about/
Gregory and Lisa Popcak, Catholic Marriage and Family Counselors, authors of 6 books on Christian family life.
http://www.exceptionalmarriages.com/
How Would Jesus Raise a Child?, Dr. Teresa Whitehurst. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2003.
"Nurturing God's Way" Parenting Program for Christian Families
http://www.nurturingparenting.com/
Churches' Network For Non-Violence
http://www.churchesfornon-violence.org/
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/