The social worker who does Baby D's visits called bright and early this morning at 8:00am. I have come to know what an 8:00am call means. The birth parents canceled the visit...again. Since January 1st, they have canceled a total of 5 out of 7 visits (so I was off 1 on my last post...oops). For the 1st three they canceled, birth dad has a stomach virus (that spanned 1.5 weeks). Then, they canceled because it was too cold outside. Today they canceled because birth dad has strep throat.
Now, I know I'm the LAST person who needs to question anyone when it comes to being sick, but COME ON! I don't know, maybe I'm just jaded when it comes to them telling the truth. I mean, they claim they are doing EVERYTHING to get their son back, yet they CLEARLY are not. As I said in my last post, they cannot stop doing the ONE THING that brought him into DSS custody in the first place.
Also, I caught them in a lie last week (you know, when the social worker picked him for one of the two visits he's had this month). A while back at an agency review I asked them if they smoked in front of Baby D because he was coming home smelling like smoke. They assured me that they were not and even went so far as to claim that they DID NOT smoke in their house. Well, I've known this was a lie for some time now, however they have continued to claim that they do not smoke in their house. (Which I mean, WHY LIE? As long as you aren't smoking in front of him....who cares?)
At any rate, whatever I send with Baby D to visits comes home smelling like a chimney. Lately I've been sending a hand made blanket that I received as a shower gift when I had the twins. I send it because it's the heaviest blanket I have that isn't PINK. Anyway, I asked the social worker if she would please make sure that they didn't spread it out on the floor because I am having to wash it a lot and I'm afraid it will begin to wear. I asked her if she thought they smoked in their house and she said,
"I know they do. When I bring him in for his visit they move ash trays and stuff."
I just stood there, letting the new knowledge sink in, wondering why it shocked me so much. I KNEW they were lying.
This isn't the only time they've been caught in a lie, and I'm sure it won't be the last.
As I continue this journey, I never cease to be amazed at the raw emotion I feel toward these people. I know I should encounter them with grace, love and mercy but for some reason, those are not the emotions that spring forth from my heart when they come to mind.
I know at a time when my own family cannot shake a month's worth of sickness, I should not be questioning someone else's health, but it's just so stinkin' hard to believe ANYTHING they say.
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As for OUR health, Lucas spiked a pretty high fever last night, but so far Ashlee has been fever free for almost 24 hours. Yay! Of course, now that I say that I'm sure she will begin to puke or something else totally gross. I am feeling MUCH better (upon the advice of my Mom to start some vitamins ASAP). Thanks so much for your prayers for my family's health.
Now, if you'll just pray for my MENTAL health, I'm sure everything will work out just fine and my blood pressure will return to normal!
You know, I know of a great place where you can get your blood pressure checked.. Sure, they have bears sitting in provacative positions, and pregnancy tests in 4 different locations in the store. BUT... as long as you don't talk or move, you'll get an accurate reading. Just give me a call if you'd like me to take you.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your blog! As a foster mom myself, I can so relate to the emotions you're feeling. I hate being lied to by the parents, especially the silly things that really don't matter anyways. It's a hard line to walk; to be supportive & positive for the parents yet advocate what's best for the children too (without looking like the bad guy!). I haven't quite figured out a good balance! We are on hold right now until we move... but I'm already missing the kids; the workers; the parent drama -- I told DH that I must be sick! ;) I'll be praying for baby D.
ReplyDeleteHope you all can get back to your normal healthy selves. I took Daniel to the docs this morning because he is still wheezing up a storm. Now he is on steroids in addition to breathing treatments.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, the rest of us have been healthy... I swear by my Juice Plus :-)
Sorry about D's birth parents. Praying God will simply open the doors for you to adopt. I know He is growing you in the process.
Why are people such ding dongs, ya know? I mean... good grief! Give me a stinkin' break! I'm right here with us... I've REALLY had to remind myself this week that i should have the attitude of Christ Jesus. But It's really tough sometimes to know what that is? We were all 4 four on our knees in the living room last night. And I got the privilege of praying for you guys! We love and miss you. It was wonderful to talk to you.
ReplyDeleteLove you
you are doing a beautiful thing my friend. i don't think i could handle all of that stuff. i LOVE the pictures in the last post. all the kiddos are so cute!!
ReplyDeleteNot sure it will help, but I have a heavy non-pink blanket you can have if you want it. You can use it for Baby D's visits or to cover your head and muffle the yelling in frustration. :-D Let me know :)
ReplyDeletePraying! Praying! Praying! Hang in there.
ReplyDelete