Happy Birthday Aaron!

Two. Two years ago yesterday our lives changed forever. As we went about our normal day, just minutes down the road our sweet boy was taking his first breaths, unbeknown to us. Yes, our lives changed that very day even though we had no clue they were changing.

How we thank God for Aaron's life. As a step of obedience to God's calling on our life, we chose to pursue foster care for our family. Aaron (and his little sister Olivia) are God's greatest rewards for our choice of obedience. And even though somedays life with two toddlers (and 4 other kids) is chaotic and a struggle, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Aaron,

At two years old you are a fiercely independent little man. You prefer to play alone most of the time even though you want to know what everyone else is doing. You like all starchy foods and defy most everything else put on your plate. You have the sweetest laugh and your chuckles tend to get everyone else vying for your attention to see who can cause the most belly laughs in a row.

You love to climb on anything that will allow you. You live to ride on our battery powered cars for hours on end. You love all things to do with animals, especially fish. You are sweet on your littlest sister and love to give her kisses over and over and over again. You can jump and get both of your chubby little feet completely off the floor and you adore wearing shoes, particularly your boots. And, you continue to give the best, most snuggly hugs of anyone.

We love you so much sweet Aaron boy. And though your independence and strong determination continually challenge us as parents, we can't imagine our family without you. We pray that God will use your story of adoption and redemption for His glory. We pray that your life is devoted to Christ and you love Him with the fierceness and determination that you live the rest of your life. I love you so much sweet boy, so much more than my words on a page could ever express.

With all my heart,

Mommy

Das Not Funny! Friday: With some photo goodness

After a couple of weeks off, Das Not Funny! Friday is back. I know you all were absolutely on the edge of your seats and, possibly, about to riot.

Try to contain yourselves, okay people?

Hope this gives you a funny fix. You know, if you need one. And, I've thrown in a few photos just because I'm obsessed with Lightroom and I can.

One evening we went over to my parents' house and we were eating dinner on their deck. Olivia will eat just about anything. I started her with one piece of asparagus. Immediately she was requesting more. Adamantly requesting more. Being a typical Mom, I took a stalk or two off of my own plate and forked it onto Olivia's.

Elizabeth, who sat watching me, said "Awwww. You sure are a good Mommy to your children, JESS-I-CA."

Apparently I'm good at teaching them to be dramatic as well.

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Our diaper changing table is on top of our dryer. I know, it's less than ideal but truthfully it works for us. My not so handy becoming more resourceful husband hung up some shelving on either side of the dryer and now it's a perfect little changing area. During one of Ella's diaper changes, she catches a case of the sneezes. And, apparently she wasn't completely empty. As she's in the middle of a sneezing fit I see a quick blur fly from the top of the dryer.

I look down at my stomach and realize what the blur really was. Poop. Ella shot poop all over the front of my shirt with such force that I didn't even see it coming. (Name that movie.)

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You know what I love most about having kids? Their ability to change my mood and often refocus my thoughts. Sometimes that's not so good. But usually, it's a blessing. Case in point...

A week and a half ago we drove to the airport to see off our friends Chris and Lindy, as they returned to Kenya, as well as three fabulous college students who will be interning for them this summer. I was doing well until the very end when my emotions overcame me and I began to cry.

As we drove home the kids are riding in virtual silence as I try to contain loud sobs in the drivers seat. Thinking that my emotions are certainly setting the tone for the car ride I am expecting questions about why I am sad or why Chris and Lindy and the interns are leaving.

Lucas, from the 2nd row, "Mom?"

Me, with a shaky voice, "Yeah Buddy?"

"It's not nice to stare, right?" he asks.

"That's right Buddy," I reply.

"Well, Olivia's staring at me."

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I witnessed the following conversation between my oldest two daughters a few days ago.

Ashlee: "Wizabets, thats a pajama shirt." She points to the shirt Elizabeth is wearing.

Elizabeth: "No it's not."

Ashlee: "Yes it is."

Elizabeth: "No it's not."

A: "Yes it is. Mom, tell Wizabets that she's wearing a pajama shirt."

E: "Well, it may be a pajama shirt, but I'm gonna wear it as a regular shirt today."

A: "Okay. But don't tell anybody because they will make fun of you for wearing pajamas."

That advice came from the same girl who changes INTO her pajamas to go outside to play. I'd say that Elizabeth should take that fashion advice with a grain or 12 of salt.

Y'all have a fabulous weekend!

Obsessed

Recently, I've come to know a little program called Lightroom.


And now, I'm a little obsessed.

PS: This little somebody turns TWO this weekend. TWO YEARS OLD. When did that happen?

Super cool Dad

It takes a cool Dad to play on the slip 'n slide with his kids. It takes an even cooler one to allow his wife to take photos of him on the slip 'n slide and then post them on her blog.

What's that honey? You didn't know I was posting these to my blog?

Hummm...

Oh well.

Thanks, honey, for being a super cool Dad.

Happy 4th Birthday Lucas and Ashlee!

Four years ago today my status as a mother was redefined. I went from being a Mom to one child to a Mom to three. Just like that my world was forever changed. And isn't that just how these little people are? They are life changers. They change the way we women think, what we call our selves and how we structure our days.

(Lucas and Ashlee, 3 days old)

Being called "Mom" is one of the greatest blessings I've ever known. Most people say that the transition from one child to two is the hardest. Some people say that going from two kids to three kids is the most difficult. For us, going from a family of three to a family of five has certainly been the most challenging days of our young marriage. The first three months of Lucas and Ashlee's life is a complete blur. How I WISH I had known about blogging then, so I could have recorded and captured some of those first memories with three babies, all under two years old. Not that I would have really had time to blog, mind you. I was basically a milk truck, servicing the needs of two people on an almost continual basis.

(Our family of 5 on May 30, 2006.
The first time Elizabeth met her brother and sister.)

Now, just four short years later my babies aren't babies anymore. They are kids who no longer need my help to get dressed or brush their teeth or eat their food. They don't need me to help them put on their shoes or go down slides. They don't need me to do nearly as much as they used to. And a huge part of that makes me sad. Just this week, the older three all worked together and got their entire breakfast ready, by themselves. They got the bowls out and the cereal poured and Elizabeth poured the milk. I was thrilled, then sad.

Yes, my babies are growing up. At the homeschool convention I attended this weekend, one of the speakers said something that resonated with me. She was speaking on having lots of little ones (she herself has 8 children, 6 of which are boys...the Lord has a special place in heaven for her, I'm quite sure) and she said these words, "Moms, cherish these early years with your children. Because, even though the days are long the years are short."

How true those words are. Many times I look at the clock and say, "Wow. Only 11:00am! You've got to be kidding me!" But then, on days like today, on the birthdays of my babies I think, "Wow. Four already. You've got to be kidding me!"

(Lucas and Ashlee - 2 months, Elizabeth - 2 years)

Yesterday we had a cowboy and cowgirl birthday party for Lucas and Ashlee. We had a rootin' tootin' good time, that's for sure. Here are some of my favorite photos from yesterday...

Cowboy Aaron with Cowboy PawPaw

Fearless Cowgirl Olivia

Cowboy Lucas blowin' out his birthday candle
(Note that there were no Cake Wrecks this year)

Cowgirl Ashlee blowin' out her birthday candle
(Note that even though it was a Horse ridin' party, she chose fairies for her party decor. I love it.)

Cowgirl Sisters

Cowboy Lucas and his horse Noah

Cowgirl Ashlee and her horse Chico
(Could Ashlee be any sassier? I think not.)

At four years old, Lucas loves all things cowboy. He loves horses and boots and guns. He is amazingly affectionate towards his littlest sister, Ella, and takes his role as oldest brother seriously, on most occasions. He is determined, energetic, loving and a complete Daddy's boy. He's an early riser and has recently begun forgoing his afternoon nap. He adores bugs and dirt and sticks. He is eager to please his Momma and still enjoys handing out hugs and kisses when they are requested. He's been asking Luke tough questions about Jesus and sin and we are praying over his little heart and that he will one day be a man living for the Lord.

From tiny baby...

...to a big boy, we know that God has great things planned for Lucas' life. How we pray we will be parents who equip him to study God's word for himself so that he can live boldly for Christ.


At four years old Ashlee is the life of every party. Ashlee loves life. And, her love for life is most clearly shown in her affection toward her family. Free with her kisses and hugs, especially on her younger sisters, Ashlee is known to shower them with love, often to the point of making them less than cheerful. Luke and I both agree that Ashlee lives life full throttle. She runs just about everywhere she goes and she experiences, joyfully, a life that is filled with abundant laughter. Even though she is the reigning drama queen (at least until Olivia dethrones her) she is also the peacemaker of our little brood. She freely gives of her toys and often settles for her second pick so that someone else can have their hearts desire. I pray that her attitude of service and love for other people continues to grow as her relationship with the Savior does too.

From an excitable baby...

...to a joyfilled little girl, we pray God will use her servant's heart to draw her to Himself and, ultimately, a life devoted to sharing with others where ultimate joy truly lies.

Lucas and Ashlee,

We love you more than we could ever express. Happy 4th Birthday, sweet babies!

Love,

Mommy

I'M FAMOUS!!! Except, not really

It shouldn't be a surprise to you that one of my favorite sites is Cake Wrecks. I mean, what could tickle me more than brilliantly remarkable screw ups that make you laugh, literally out loud, AND they're made entirely of cake?

Nothing, that's what.

I mean, come on people. It's like the hilarity and flavor of heaven all in one website. Perfection I tell you. Well, not really perfection because, hello?, they are messed up cakes.

At any rate, when I first found the Cake Wrecks blog, I immediately submitted a cake that was made for one of my family members.

TODAY ON CAKE WRECKS, my cake made it to press!!

That's right people, it's like the 7 phases of Kevin Bacon except without the Kevin Bacon. Which means I'm totally famous now!

So, here's the deal, check out this post over on Cake Wrecks. Come back and leave me a comment telling me which cake is the one I submitted (it's not that difficult because I've blogged about our cake screw up before). Of the correct answers I will randomly pick a winner and award them with a prize.

Your prize could be as arbitrary as 584 Beaver points (which are totally worthless). Or possibly something a little more enticing. (Cut me some slack here people, I've gotta figure out what would be a cool gift and right now I DO NOT have the brain power. Work yourself up for the points and if it's something better, well, then HOORAY!)

You have until 11:59pm on Friday, May 28, 2010 to enter. After that, and when our lives return to normal (normal for us anyway) I'll pick a winner using Random.org.

Happy caking, everyone.

Hummm...that reminds me...I've gotta go order the twins' birthday cakes for their party on Saturday. Think I should use the same place as when I ordered the Wreck? Naaaaaaahhhhh....

Ella Joy at 2 months

Ella officially turned 2 months old on Sunday but it's been a tad bit busy around here. This past weekend was fully of activities including birthday parties and graduation ceremonies for our student ministry's senior class (which Luke and I help lead).

This weekend will prove to be even more chaotic as my wonderful mother-in-law arrives on Thursday afternoon. After I pick her up from the airport, we are heading straight to our state's Homeschool Convention. It's HUGE and I'm excited that my mom-in-law is going with me so that she can see for herself just how many resources are available to homeschooling families these days. I remember being blown away the first year I went. Convention lasts through Saturday but we will only be attending on Thursday and Friday since Lucas and Ashlee's 4th birthday party is on Saturday!

Then we will have a family Memorial day picnic at my parent's house on Monday. And, my mom-in-law departs on Tuesday. Busy, busy, busy around here!

But, I'll move onto what this post should really be about. My sweet, 2 month old, joy named Ella.

Ella Joy,

At 2 months old you prove to be, quite possibly, the easiest baby we've had to date. Your oldest sister Elizabeth was also pretty easy as a baby but she didn't have 5 other siblings to contend with. In your short 2 months outside the womb you've enjoyed spending time with some amazing people. Your Auntie Lindy was able to be here in the US for your birth, in the delivery room even. She is smitten with you, I think, as is your Uncle Chris. Today, we went to the airport and said "See you soon" to Auntie Lindy and Uncle Chris as they headed back to Kenya to continue with their ministry (click here to find out more about their ministry).

It was with a joyful sadness that we hugged and kissed and your Auntie Lindy rubbed your soft, peach fuzzy head and then smooched your chubby, squishy cheeks. I know you're going to miss sleeping on Auntie Lindy's chest as she and Mommy (and Mrs. Beth) giggle over nonsense.

In the hospital, Elizabeth first called you Ellabelle. And, the sweet little nickname has stuck. Sometimes you are Ellabelle, other times, Ellabella. It's so sweet that all of the children have their own special way of showing you affection. Some, more gently than others. ;)

Everyone stills comments on the resemblance you have with your oldest brother, Lucas. But, often, your expressions remind us so much of Ashlee's. You are certainly not reclining in any of your older siblings' shadows though. Unlike each of your older siblings, you've had some particulars with your choice of pacifier and bottle nipples. You have finally, finally found a fondness with a plain 'ol Gerber pacci. The cheapest in the store. You've also taken several bottles from a plain 'ol cheap Gerber bottle.

And, unlike your older siblings, you have had a love/hate (heavy emphasis on the HATE) relationship with your carseat. Unlike all your other siblings who usually zonked out the second they were secure in the infant carrier, you've been anything BUT content when strapped in and the car being in motion. In the last week, you've tolerated it a little bit better each trip.

You enjoy "talking" and cooing at the faces of your family and friends.

And, you are very free with your smiles, which delights friends, family and strangers alike. I can't tell you the number of ladies who have stopped dead in their tracks to gaze at your gorgeous aqua blue eyes, then stood in amazement and delight at the smiles you flash. How I am praying that your easy going spirit and happy nature are lifetime characteristics you possess!

You are sleeping much, much better at night, though still in your swing. Your first stretch of sleep is anywhere from 5 - 6 hours, beginning around 9:00 or 9:30 til sometimes 2:30 or 3:30. You had a few nights of wanting to eat every HOUR, which totally wore your Momma out. But, it appeared to just be a growth spurt which lasted 2 (or maybe 3, I can't really remember) nights.

You're spending more time awake during the day and enjoying naps on your tummy when Mommy remembers to lay you down that way. You are still nursing like a pro and your Mommy and Daddy just couldn't be more in love with you. You truly live up to your name. God has blessed us with you so very much and, through you, provided us with so much JOY.

I love you little princess!

Mommy

10K in 20 days (or less now..)

When I first read "10K in 20 days" I thought my blog-friend Courtney was speaking of running.

But she wasn't.

See what she's up to by clicking here. I sure wish I could make the time RIGHT NOW to express to you just how important I feel it is to support adoptions.

But, it's almost 4:30pm and my people are waking up from naps and we have a gymnastics "performance" tonight that I must prepare my little gymnasts for. And, I still haven't showered today.

Please, please, please, go here and see how you can help bring 26+ orphans home to their forever families.

Surely you can spare $5 today to help change the course of a child's life.

Thanks friends.

Radical: Someone worth losing everything for

Well, in the post below this one, I told you all that I would be blogging about Chapter 1 of David Platt's new book, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream.

WOW.

About half way through chapter 1 (Which, by the way, you can click here to read for free. Just scroll down and enter your email address at the bottom.) I began wondering how in the world I'd summarize my thoughts after underlining (yes, I write in books) or journaling over half of what I'd read.

So for you math wizards, that means I'd found 1/4 of the chapter pretty earth shaking and I'd only read half of it. I don't know what mathematical formula I can produce to show you just how much I finally ended up noting, but it was A BUNCH. Put that in your calculator and crunch it.

Anyway, here are the things that truly stuck out to me the most...

Page 7, "We are settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves."

Um. Yeah. Wow. So very, very true. Why is it that as a Christian I try to cater my worship, my service and my devotion around ME? Shouldn't I be catering everything around Jesus and how my life should glorify Him? Yes, yes I should. I'm a selfish beast, apparently.

Page 13, David Platt (DP as I will call him from now on because I can and I'm lazy) is talking about how we, as Americans, make Jesus into a nice, middle-class Jesus. "A Jesus who doesn't mind materialism and who would never call us to give away everything we have. A Jesus who would not expect us to forsake our closest relationships so that he receives all our affection."

(I really should probably just quote all of page 13. Or you could just BUY THE BOOK.)

Anyway, after saying how we are changing Jesus from what the Scriptures say about Him to a middle-class American Jesus, DP says the following, "But do you and I realize what we are doing at this point? We are molding Jesus into our image. He is beginning to look a lot like us because, after all, that is whom we are most comfortable with. And the danger now is that when we gather in our church buildings to sing and life up our hands in worship, we may not actually be worshiping the Jesus of the Bible. Instead we may be worshiping ourselves."

(Emphasis added by ME.)

Holy stinkweed. I'm pretty sure that DP reached off the page and slapped me across the face with page 13. I mean really, do I REALLY love the Jesus in Scripture? Do I REALLY love the man who told me to forsake everything, everything to follow Him? Forsake my husband? Forsake my kids? Forsake being totally and utterly comfortable?

Do I really love THAT Jesus?

I'm not sure that I do, honestly.

And I am currently praying that God cultivates my relationship with my Savior so that I love the real Jesus and not the one I'm comfortable with.

PS: If you haven't bought this book, you should at least download the first chapter and READ PAGE 13. I'm just sayin'.

Moving right along...

Page 17, DP is talking about when Jesus told the rich man to abandon his possessions and give to the poor. DP says, in reference to that scripture, quoting it even, "'Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.' If we are careful, we can misconstrue these radical statement from Jesus in the Gospels and begin to think that he doesn't want the best for us."

And that's where I got kicked in the teeth. If I really believe what the Jesus of the Bible says about being a follower, shouldn't I already know that He has my best interests at heart? Shouldn't I realize that even though it seems excruciatingly hard for me to sacrifice my own life, for one sold out to him, that in the end I am getting the ultimate best for me. Afterall, Jesus loved me enough to pay my ransom, wouldn't He know what is best for my life?

Finally, on page 21 DP writes in regard to the rest of his book, "We will look at the core truth of a God-centered gospel and how we have manipulated it into a human-centered (and ultimately dissatisfying) message. We will see a purpose for our lives that transcends the country and culture we live in, and we will see our desperate need for his presence to fulfill that purpose in us."

"...and in the end we will determine not to waste our lives on anything but uncompromising, unconditional abandonment to a gracious, loving Savior who invites us to take radical risk and promises us radical reward."

I don't know about you, but the thought of radically abandoning my own selfish desires, my own comfortable life, for one that will accomplish the purposes of Christ is SCARY. It shakes me to my core. It brings tears to my eyes and lump in my throat. What if God asks me to do something HARD? I don't wanna do anything hard!

Following the Jesus of Scripture could cost me everything I hold closest.

But what's my alternative? To live a comfortable life worshiping a Jesus that I've crammed into my middle-class world? Is that really even worshiping Jesus or would I then be worshiping a false god that I've created?

Truly I see no choice. If I say I believe in Jesus Christ as the atonement for my sin, then I have no choice. If I say I know that Jesus took my burden, paid a ransom for my life, and I love him within the depths of my soul, then I have no choice.

Radical abandonment to Christ is the legacy I want to leave. Following the Jesus of the Bible is my only hope.

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What did you think about Chapter 1? I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Radical: What is Jesus worth to you?

Luke and I have been listening to David Platt for a few years now. People, he's bold. He examines the Scriptures and cuts out all the fluff of what the American Christian walk is perceived as and tells you what it should be.

I love that he makes no excuses for the Bible and what it says. I love that he rocks my world when I listen to his messages. I love that he takes the words of Scripture and tells you, flat out, what your responsibility is as a believer in Jesus Christ.

And, truthfully, about 18 months ago, Luke and I listened to one of David Platt's podcasts and I walked away seriously questioning my salvation and the authenticity of my faith. Truly, listening to this young pastor, just 31 years old, (who holds degrees far beyond my intellect) I am challenged to the core about what I say I believe about my God and about my Savior.

When Luke and I found out that David Platt was releasing a book, we were super excited. Luke picked up the book last week and we are reading our way through it, together. I'm already through Chapter 1 and I just cannot tell you how much it is already challenging me. Take a look at the promo video below and if you'd like, go pick up the book yourself and feel free to leave your comments. You can purchase the book here or at your local bookstore.

Additionally, you can go to radicalthebook.com, scroll to the bottom of the page and enter your email address for free access to Chapter 1.

I'll plan on posting about my thoughts and Chapter 1 later this week. I would say "Happy Reading!" but I really think Radical Reading is more accurate.

So...Radical Reading, everyone!

Radical by David Platt from Taylor Robinson on Vimeo.

PS: You can find and download David Platt's podcasts on iTunes. But be warned, they will cause you to radically look inside your heart and see if the faith you claim is really the faith you live.

(I was in no way compensated for blogging about this book or encouraging others to read or buy it. I just love Jesus a whole lot and I think this book might be the ticket to getting myself and others to authentically live out what we say we believe.)

Das Not Funny! Friday: Dis. Is. Serweousss.

Wow. I think the days fly by faster and faster each week, don't you? Maybe it's the 6 kids thing. Maybe it's because I'm getting very little sleep. Maybe it's just because it's officially summer here and we play that hard all day.

Or maybe the days just go by faster and faster each week. No matter how you slice it, it's Friday again which means it's time for another edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. Not sure what Das Not Funny! Friday is all about? Click here for details.

Here's the funnies....

One day earlier this week Ashlee was crawling into our 15 passenger van and I just couldn't resist. Her booty is just much too cute. I reached up and gave it a little squeeze. With that, Ashlee whipped her little red-head around and said,

"Mom, be careful near butts. They'll shoot poop on you."

I think my friend Cathy is right. It's staggering the percentage of my life that is devoted to poop.

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Sometimes it's humorous that the kids feel the need to tell me when Ella is crying. Sometimes, it's not particularly funny. Like when we are in the car and Ella is screaming her head off. Such was the case earlier this week. Ashlee was sitting beside her and pipes up from the back seat,

"Mom! Ella's cwying."

Stressing about the situation I respond, not so nicely, "I can hear that Ashlee."

To which Ashlee retorts, "Dis. Is. Serweoussss."

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Finally, I've debated back and forth, back and forth, back and forth on whether to tell you all this one. But, every time I think about it, I chuckle.

When Ella was about 3 weeks old, Luke took a day off work and we took the WHOLE family to the zoo. At the time, Ella refused to take a pacci. Plus, she HATES her carseat (even now). Most times when she is in her carseat, she screams and screams and screams, as I referenced in the above story.

We live about 40 minutes from the zoo. All the kids were tired and we were trying desperately to get home before anyone fell asleep (as to ensure that everyone would take a good, long nap when we got back). Ella, as I mentioned, was screaming her face off. As her cries became more and more stressful, I tried harder and harder to get her to love her pacci.

Gagging and screaming ensued.

Finally, I did what I had to do. As Luke drove our van, I draped my body over Ella's carset and nursed her while we drove down the road. I can only imagine what the view looked like to the car behind us to my children in the seats behind me. However, it worked. After about 3 minutes, she was snoozing soundly and we drove the remainder of the way home without Ella serenading us with her wails.

Now, if I could just figure out how to do that and drive the van...

Y'all have a fabulous weekend. That's an order.

Bound by birth, Adopted with love

God orchestrates all things for His glory for those who love Him. Did you know that? I had read it right here before but it never really hit me exactly how it worked until many months after we had taken Aaron as our first placement as his foster parents. You see, shortly after the phone call we received informing us of Aaron's birth and, additionally, asking us of we'd be willing to take him into our home, I was on the phone with another woman who cared deeply about our sweet Aaron.

She was not someone from the Department of Social Services (DSS) office. She was not his birth mother. However, she cared deeply for him even though she'd never met him.

I remember sitting there at our table, listening to her voice through my phone, not totally understanding what was about to happen. I remember wondering what her role in his life would be, what it could have been, if only circumstances had been different.

You see this woman, who told me how much she loved our new little baby, had a very special connection to him.

She is the mother of Aaron's biological brothers.

She had walked the road that we were about to journey down. She had the dirt and blisters on her feet and sweat and blood on her brow from miles of walking a road that is tough and not for the faint at heart. She and her husband knew what it meant to love someone as your own flesh when they come from the womb of another woman.

And although much of Aaron's story is for him to tell and not me, I wanted to share with you all a very special relationship that our family is forming with some very special people.

These two precious boys share the same birth parents as our sweet Aaron. "N" and "C" are so sweet and all boy, just like our Aaron. They share similar features, like their bright blue eyes and a sweet, round nose. In fact, when their Mom "S" shared some of N and C's baby photos with me, it was like looking at photos of our Aaron, except with double vision!

And one day, they will share in being told the same story. The story of entering into foster care for reasons privileged only to them. The story of being placed into the arms of a mother who grew them in her heart, rather than her womb. The story of being loved, unconditionally, even though they didn't belong to this new family by birth.

The story of Mr. T and Mrs. S desiring to begin their boys' relationship with our son early on, when Aaron and N and C were only tiny babies.

(This is Aaron, at 2 months old, with N and C who were 14 months.)

The story of love, that brought them from what could have been to what truly is. Currently, we enjoy a loving relationship and special bond with N and C's family. They have kept Aaron on several occasions, even overnight. Both Mr. T and Mrs. S, as well as Luke and myself, desire for our boys to know that they are brothers.

This special relationship, we pray, will help them understand their unique situations as they grow older. And, as they one day struggle to understand the circumstances with their birth parents, we pray that having each other will help. We pray that growing up more than just birth siblings, but as friends, they will be able to identify with someone who comes from where they come from.

And ultimately, my prayer is that each of them will be able to cling to the One who provided a way for us all to be adopted, even when they are uncertain about the reasons for their worldly adoption.


This is what is unique about adopting a child through our local foster care agency (or in our case, our county's DSS). Often, ties with birth family is available. For us, being adoptive parents isn't about cutting them off from their birth family. It isn't about alienating them from who they are by birth.

However, they did come into foster care for a reason. Unfortunately, and all to often, those reasons prohibit us from feeling like there is a safe way for them to interact with birth family. In Aaron's case these boys, his birth brothers, are in a safe and loving home where spending time with them is not only possible but pleasurable. Mr. T and Mrs. S love Aaron so very much and it is evident on their faces each time they see him. Likewise, we adore N and C, although our time with them is much more sparse right now (due to the needs of our other children, we don't get 1 on 1 time - or 1 on 2 time - like we'd enjoy).

For neither of our fostered/adopted children, a relationship with their birth parents is not healthy or possible at this time in their lives. But, we when the time comes that they ask questions, we will not lie. Truth will prevail in our answers about their past. And while we will have to reveal things to them that will surely break their hearts and make them question their value, we pray that they will find their answer right in front of them.

We love them. God loves them.

For Olivia, having a relationship with birth family is proving more difficult. We wanted to wait until her adoption was final before pursuing those relationships. Now that her adoption is legal, we plan on beginning that process so that she may begin forming relationships with stable members of her birth family.

These are new waters for us to navigate, this balance between birth family and our family. But, we feel confident that the Lord placed these children into our home for a purpose. He placed them here for His purpose. And our desires are to allow our adopted children as much interaction with birth family that is safe. We feel blessed to have such with Aaron's birth brothers. For Olivia it will be new ground that we will walk on lightly, with our eyes prayerfully fixed on the One who knew all of this before the creation of the world.

I feel the need to clarify

Did you read this post and this post and this post?

If so, I feel like I need to clear the air a bit. I know that several people who actually know us IRL (in real life) read my blog. I also know that, of those people who know us IRL, some are shocked by what I'm saying here about the direction and future of our family.

But I'm going to be very honest here. I don't know why it's so shocking.

For the life of me I can't figure out why the possibility of us moving somewhere that the Lord is leading us to is shocking. Truly, if you've been reading here for any amount of time or if you've pilfered (wow, that really is a word?) through my archives at all, you would (hopefully) see that we are trying desperately to obey and follow the Jesus that we proclaim to love. And, if you DO know us IRL I'd hope that when you see our actions that they would be consistent with what my words on this screen are saying.

Do we mess up? Yes.

Do we slip and fall and make huge mistakes? Absolutely.

If you know us intimately, do we often say or do things that aren't like Jesus? Without a doubt.

Truthfully, we've never claimed perfection. I pray that we've never come across as "holier than thou" in our interactions or, even more, hypocritical. If you've known us for any length of time, I sincerely hope that you've seen us change. I hope you've seen a dramatic change in our words, in our actions and in our lifestyle.

But, even with those changes we are still going to make mistakes. Despite trying to live in obedience to God, despite trying to allow His Holy Spirit to work within us to make life altering changes, we will still falter.

If we never failed or made mistakes (or never admitted to them anyway) then we would be claiming perfection. And claiming such would be in direct opposition of what we know to be true. Only One was perfect. Only One lived a blameless life.

He is the reason we are choosing to live this life filled with uncertainty and craziness. Only because of Him and the dramatic life changes He has performed within us are we willing to abandon the normalcy of our culture and cling to the words that He left for us to follow.

No, we are certainly not perfect nor do we have it all figured out.

In this post I said that we had a burden for Africa and her hurting children. In that same post, I said that we were feeling called to missions. But if you will also recall with me, I also told you of my ultimate fear. I told you "I was afraid that I'd say something then it would never come to pass and then I'd look like a stupid Christian who blindly follows some pie-in-the-sky God who really doesn't speak to people."

I'm still afraid of that. What if I mess this up? What if I do this God thing wrong and no one ever comes to know the Lord through my life? But then, not too long ago, I realized something.

I'm not that important.

Sure God can use me to accomplish His purposes but He doesn't have to.

So now, instead of living afraid of getting God wrong, I'm even more afraid of not testing and discerning the will of God. I'm even more afraid of not seeking God's call on our lives and instead conforming to the way the world looks. (Romans 12:2)

So, that is what we are attempting to do. We are attempting to test and discern God's will for our family. So far, He is pressing missions on our hearts. He is pressing Africa on our hearts. For just under 4 years now, He has been pressing those things upon us and we've been turning to the left and right, blinded to Him in that area.

That's all we know.

As of today, we have no plans to move to Africa. As of today, we are renting a house, living debt free so that when God tells us to do His work, we can. As of today, I am focusing on my children, focusing on God's word and seeing the ways that I stumble in both of those areas each and every day.

Yes, we have applied for passports. Yes, we are planning on making a trip to Kenya at some point in the next year.

But that's it. That's all we know. And if I've learned anything during my short walk with the Lord, it is certainly Proverbs 16:9 which says, "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps."

So we plan. We make decisions for our family that we see aligning with where God is leading (and with Scripture). We think and act on what we feel God is pressing on our hearts. But ultimately the Lord will establish our steps. Ultimately, we could feel led somewhere and God could make it very clear that we've missed the mark. And, I fully expect that to happen at some point. After all, how can a creation expect to fully understand the desires of the creator?

We do not desire to hurt our family and friends' feelings. We do not desire to abandon the people we love the most just because it seems like fun (and no, moving far away from family - if that's God's desires - does not feel fun). But, I cannot find Scripture that supports living a comfortable life just because we can. I cannot find Scripture that says being a follower of Jesus is easy and comfortable and we should just accept it as such and live life going to church on Sunday and making sure we don't cuss too much. I cannot find Scripture that tells us to wait until our children are older before we begin to obey.

The Bible I read says to love the Lord above all else. It says to forsake all things to follow Him. And yes, that's a tough pill to swallow.

Finally, I'd like to add, that what looks like obedience for us may not be what is obedient for you. Just because God called us to have all these kids, doesn't mean that it's your calling. Just because God is making our hearts burdened for missions doesn't mean YOU should become a missionary (but you should support missions - but that's another post for another day). What I will challenge you with is this:

If you are a believer in the risen Savior Jesus, if you truly believe that one Man lived blamelessly, died shamefully and paid the ransom for your sinful life so that you could one day stand in the throne room of God completely debt free, then you should be willing to live a life sold out for Jesus. Your life should look so radically different from the world that others are looking at YOU saying, "What the crap?! Why would you do that?!"

If such is not the case, I challenge you to examine your own heart. Read God's word and back through old journals. Seek what the Lord has been placing before you time and time and time again and realize that it is entirely possible that He is calling you out of your comfort zone. He is calling you to live a life that looks drastically different from the world. And, quite possibly, it will be a life you are afraid of, never dreamed of and cannot do on your own (thus giving Him the opportunity to perform a miracle, right before your eyes).

But, what I can promise you is that missing out on the blessings of your Father through unfaithful disobedience will be the 2nd biggest mistake you will ever make. The first being the choice to turn from Him, while His hands sit open, waiting on you to take up your ransom for your very own life.

PS: If you know us IRL (or even if you don't!) and have questions about why we feel led to the things that we do, PLEASE ASK. We'd love to share with you how amazing God is and how incredibly blessed we are.

Das Not Funny! Friday: Nights of the round at the rectangular table

I can't believe it's Friday again. Where does the time go?

Welcome to this week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. New to Das Not Funny! Friday? Click here to see what it's all about. Wanna read more Das Not Funny! Friday posts? Click here or on the Das Not Funny! Friday button in my sidebar.

Now, on with the funnies...

One night at dinner, Olivia ate her entire dinner like this...


The more we laughed, the more she kept her face covered.

Hysterical.

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Last night at dinner....

Lucas: "Thank you fadder, thank you fadder, for our food, for our food. Andourmanyblessings, andourmanyblessings," FARRRRRRTTTTTT, (never missing a beat) "Excuse me. Ah-ah-men, ah-ah-men."

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A different night at dinner...

Elizabeth was begging us to give her "hard" questions about different facts from the Bible. In addition, Lucas and Ashlee were wanting questions as well.

Luke: "Okay Ashlee. Do you remember the name of Jesus' Mommy?"

Ashlee: "JESUS!"

Luke: "No Ash. Who is Jesus' Mommy?"

Ashlee: Blank stare

Luke: "Ashlee, Mmmmm....."

Ashlee: "MOMMY!"

Luke: "No, what is her name Ash? Mmmmmmaaaaaa..."

Ashlee: Blank stare

Luke: "Mary?"

Ashlee: "MARY!"

Elizabeth: "Yeah. Like Mommy and Daddy kissed when they got maaaarrrrried."

Y'all have a great weekend!