So serious

Sometimes, when I feel so serious, my Mommy can catch my eye...

...and she does something funny so I will flash her one of these...

...and so my Mommy keeps going until my tiny grin turns into this...

...and so Mommy keeps going, making silly sounds and faces hoping to get more of these...

...until finally my Mommy does something stupid...

...and then it's not funny anymore.

Being a Mom is tough

I just love this post by Courtney.

She's so right, you know. Being a Mom is tough. And you don't need a qualifier of six (or more) kids to admit that. Being a Mom was tough for me when Elizabeth was just an infant. It was SO tough. And, even though I have 6 times the kids that I had way back then, it continues to be just as challenging, just in different ways.

Being a Mom of 1 is equally as difficult as being a Mom of 5 or 6 or 10. Sure the challenges are different as you welcome more children into your home. But I'd venture to guess that if I could play back for myself a video taped day of me, when we just had Elizabeth, Lucas and Ashlee (half the number of kids I have now) that most of the challenges I faced then, I am still facing.

Just because I've acquired lots of children doesn't mean I've figured out this job of wife and mother. I still struggle to keep my house clean. I still have a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. I still have a hard time cutting out a part of me for my husband at the end of the day. I still struggle to find time in God's word. And those are just a few of my many, many struggles. I could go on but I won't because that's not my intention for this post.

The point is, being a Mom is tough.

And all too often, we Moms don't make it easy on ourselves or each other. We impose judgment and cast disapproving glances at one another. We compare ourselves to someone who appears to have it all together and then beat ourselves up over our perceived flaws. We see Mothers who have perfect children and then wrestle with our own kids, begging them, if only in our minds, to be like so-and-so. We wonder why in the world that Mother made that choice with her child and then we wait to see if it will backfire on her.

Being a Mom around other Moms is tough.

Why do we do that to ourselves and to each other? Why don't we just encourage each other and grow with each other rather than playing this game of compare and contrast?

I think it's because we are too afraid of other people seeing our faults and then, later, using them against us. At least that's how I feel. Sometimes I'm too afraid to admit that I haven't dusted since we moved (which was March 1st, if you're keeping track). Sometimes I'm too concerned with the comments I'll get if I admit that I want to get into the car and drive away, in any direction other than my house, without my children in the backseats. Because, after all, it was my choice to have all these kids, wasn't it?

But I'm not perfect. And, I'd guess that you aren't either. And I'd even go further to say that I bet you and I struggle with the exact same things most days. Whether you stay at home or work outside the home, whether you have 1 kid or you have 12 kids, I'd guess that at the end of the day you and I both (finally) sit down and think, "Crap! I can't believe I didn't get ___________ again today!" (Insert: the laundry done, my quiet time, my house cleaned, that project finished etc, etc, etc.)

Life is hard and being a Mom makes it that much more.

So, I'd like to use this post for us Moms (or Dads, if any actually read and want to comment) to encourage each other. I'd like for us to openly uplift each other and, in turn, recognize an area that we are struggling. I'm not asking for deep, dark secrets just the average. Just give me something of surface value if nothing else.

Here are the rules...First you list a way you are struggling to fulfill your role as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. It doesn't have to be a deep, personal something just an everyday struggle.

THEN,

you list a way that you think that you are rockin' it as a mom or wife or girlfriend or daughter or whatever applies to you. Feel free to also add a note of advice or encouragement to a commenter before you. But be sure to end on the positive, mmmkay?

For example, if someone above me in the comments said that they were struggling to find a way to NOT loose socks in the laundry I might offer to them what I have found is currently working for our family.

Which is..I've started taking a mesh, lingerie bag and hanging it beside the dirty laundry basket. EVERY SINGLE SOCK that does not belong to myself or my husband goes into the bag. When it's full, I zip it and toss it in the next load of laundry. At the end, all the socks SHOULD be in the bag. Unless your dryer really does eat socks, then you're in a heap of trouble.

Then I tell you how I'm struggling...

I can't figure out a way to stay on top of folding and putting away clean laundry. It just accumulates in a steady pile mountain on our love seat.

And how I'm rockin' it...

I didn't feed my kids McDonald's more than once last week (See, I told you it could be simple!)

or the more profound might be that Luke and I are in the process of purging our house of unnecessary clothing and toys and CRAP and it feels oh-so-good.

See? Simple. And I really know I could use some encouragement and some counsel on all the challenges that come with being a Mom.

So, ladies (or gents) what do you say? Are you in? I sure hope so because I'm already looking forward to your comments! I need to know I'm not the only imperfect Mother and I could sure glean from your wisdom.

Das Not Funny! Friday: I was saving that!

Holy frijoles! It's Friday again? I think my weeks keep getting shorter and shorter. While I don't know if I can top last week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday I can tell you some of the things our children did this week that I found pretty hysterical.

(On a side note: I had to go back to the optometrist on Wednesday to pick up the glasses I ordered. This is the 3rd time I've been back since the incident yet only the 1st time since then that I've ventured back to the bathroom again. Um..yeah, it looks A LOT different than it did the last time. AND they've either added a second paper towel holder since Lucas and I were there or I totally missed it the last time - which is possible. And, it would have been nice to see the "extra" paper towel holder the last time since it had actual paper towels and not the generic bathroom kind that disintegrate when you get water on them.)

Alrighty, on with the funnies...

On Wednesday as I was putting together The Mothership I had a special little "helper" named Olivia. My helper enjoyed playing in the dog bowl and a tiny little stream of water that was running across the sidewalk, despite my efforts to keep her out of the dog bowl and dry. As I was intently focused on one step of the assembly instructions I hear from behind me...

"Sllllluuuuuurrrrrrpppppp"

I turn around and see Olivia, with her face pressed onto the concrete. Yes, she was "drinking" from this:

That's when I decided that maybe she was thirsty and we got her a sippy cup.

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Elizabeth LOVES to accessorize her hair. It's not uncommon for her to have in multiple hair clips or pony tail holders (which we call hair-ties) and a headband or large flower clip. From her bedroom one afternoon this week I heard,

"Mooooooooom! Can you come help me get this out of my hair?"

"Sure peanut, give me a couple minutes, okay?" I responded.

A few seconds later she walked into the kitchen holding a hair tie with a massive clump of hair attached to it.

"Here Mom," she said nonchalantly, "I just janked the hair tie outta my hair without you."

Nice. And the bald spot goes perfectly with her eyes.

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Wednesday night we had cupcakes for dessert, after dinner. I'm working on cleaning up the kitchen, while Luke conquers baths. Lucas and Elizabeth are standing in the kitchen having some discussion that I am either too old or too stupid to follow. Something about dinosaurs and princes, I'm not sure. At any rate, Elizabeth is finished with her cupcake yet still has a face covered in white icing. She also has a large blob of icing just beside her mouth on her chin.

I see Lucas stretch out his pudgy index finger, swipe the icing off her chin and cheerfully stick the dollop of icing into his mouth.

He smiles, clearly pleased with his additional sugar intake.

Suddenly, Elizabeth realizes what he's done and screams, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I WAS SAVING THAT!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! MOOOOOOM! I WAS SAVING THAT FOR LATER!!"

Tears and wailing and excessive screams followed except I didn't hear much else she was saying because I was too busy trying to catch my breath.

Y'all have a great weekend!

The Mothership

When we first found out that I was pregnant with Ella (though we obviously didn't know it was Ella then) one of my first thoughts (after the reality of us actually have SIX children set in) was transportation.

At the time we were driving the Big Red Beast which only had 7 seats. In the world of automobile transportation we were maxed out. Additionally, in the world of stroller transportation, we were also maxed out.

You see, back before the twins were born a very generous friend bought us a double stroller as a baby shower gift. It was an awesome stroller that has served us very well over the last 4 years. However, that double stroller does not accommodate infant carriers. When the twins were still in their infant carriers we just took two single strollers everywhere and clipped their carriers onto compatible single strollers. When Aaron and Olivia were in infant carriers it was always a bit trickier. I was always waking up a little baby to transfer him or her to the double stroller. It wasn't fun.

Now that we have 3 little ones who need a ride when we are out and about it became clear we needed wanted a new stroller. I mean, after all, these two had used our current one..

as well as these two...

Yes, our trusty double stroller had served us well these last four years, but it was slowly dying a painful death. That bar on the front had somehow gotten ripped off as well as the carrying strap that helps you fold the darn thing up. Not to mention the baskets on the bottom had been well used and were stretched and literally dragging the ground. Basically, the only parts still in tact were the seatbelts and wheels.

Other strollers mocked us when we went out into public.

So, what do you do when you have 3 little ones under 2 years old AND you need want a stroller that accommodates an infant carrier?

You call in the big dogs, that's what.

Behold the mothership of all multiple capacity strollers.

Yesterday when I saw this box sitting in my carport, I may or may not have physically clapped my hands. I also may or may not have emitted an excited little girl shriek and hopped up and down for a brief second until I realized IT IS JUST A STROLLER and I should get a stinkin' grip.

Here's a little perspective for you. This is Ashlee beside the mothership shortly after she was removed from the box (the stroller, not Ashlee).

It would do you good to know that I made Ashlee move from her spot in "time out" and stand beside the stroller so I could take a picture for you all. Additionally, the ONLY reason she is smiling in this picture is because I told her that if she smiled, she could get up from time out.

That's award-winning parenting right there.

Anyway, this stroller is serious business. Assembly was not easy, especially considering that this person really wanted my undivided attention...

and I only had to install about 57 different sized washers before attaching the wheels. Thankfully, this person....

thought he could handle a fussy little sister and proceeded to do this for the next 10 minutes...

which resulted in Ella doing this...

This sad face was quickly resolved with a ride in the kikoi and after Luke arrived home from work, I finished up assembling the mothership and packed my people on for a test ride.

See Aaron back there in his little "jump seat?" He is SO stinkin' proud of himself! This morning's trip to CBS went extremely well and it was so much less stressful than packing up the double stroller and struggling with Ella's carset on one arm while pushing the double stroller with the other hand.

Which proves, in my opinion, that evolution could not possibly be plausible. Because if it were, I would have surely started growing a much needed 3rd arm by now. And I'm most certainly not.

Ella at 1 month

I can hardly believe our sweet little Ella is already 1 month (and 3 days) old! I guess time flies when you're having fun, huh? My BFF Amanda gave me the idea to blog about Ella month by month so that I don't forget all those little details that fade from my memory so very quickly.

At one month old, my sweet Ella Joy loves to be held. During the day she naps on her tummy with Mommy and her brothers and sisters "checking" on her regularly. She's such a content baby and seems unphased by the noise, kisses, hugs and constant love pats. I guess after 42 weeks of hearing it from the inside, the outside isn't much of a change!

She loves for me to carry her in my kikoi (sling) and when we are outside (or out and about) she takes her naps in there. I'm truly loving my kikoi and I never thought I'd turn around and drive 15 minutes back home just to get it. It's a must have now that I've discovered how to really be a "baby wearing" Momma. (PS: If you'd like one, email me and I can hook you up! They're super inexpensive, will help support some great friends' adoption fund and straight from Africa!)

She still has adorable chubby cheeks that I cannot resist smooching. Her umbilical stump finally fell off at 3.5 weeks old and she had her first real bath a day or so later. So far, she LOVES bath time and I love her clean baby smell.

A few intentional smiles have slipped across her face and a few small coos have echoed from her sweet, little mouth. I'm still deciding on who she looks the most like, now thinking she will surely favor Lucas most. Her soft, red hair reminds me so much of Ashlee's baby fuzz while her calm, laid-back personality is reminiscent of her eldest sister's in so many ways.

Night times are getting easier. She sleeps swaddled up and alternates between sleeping beside me in the bed while nursing, sleeping in the bassinet and sleeping in the swing that's in our bedroom. For the last several nights, she's gone 3 hours stretches between feedings!

I prayed that the Lord would bless us with an easy-going baby and He did just that. I am absolutely smitten with her just as I was with another special, little girl not too long ago.

Das Not Funny! Friday: My optometrist's blind janitor

Holy moly it's Friday? Somebody should create some device that I can hang on my wall to remind me what day it is.

Anyway, logically I know it's Friday because we have Art class and gymnastics on Friday. In the land of blogs, I forget so, so easily.

Okay, prepare yourselves. Some of these may be funny. And some may be just down-right gross.

Welcome to this week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. New to Das Not Funny! Friday? Click here or on the Das Not Funny! Friday button on my sidebar to find out more.

Okay, let's get this show on the road, whatta ya say?

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About a year ago my eldest 3 children discovered a box of VHS tapes that my mother-in-law had sent us from Luke's childhood stash of junk. Every.single.video was Looney Tunes. Most people don't still own a VCR. We are not most people.

Clearly.

Anyway, every few weeks the older kids get on a Looney Tunes kick. It's ALL they want to watch. This week is one of those weeks. As they all 3 laid in the bed watching Looney Tunes the following conversation transpires.

Lucas: "Hey guys. I bet dat a cheetah could beat the woad wunner. Cheetahs are weal fast wunners. But da cheetahs could catch Wyle We. Coyote."

Ashlee: "I'm weal fast. I bet I could catch the waod wunner."

Elizabeth: "Yeah. You are fast Ash. I bet you could wear a cheetah out, girl!"

-------

Earlier last week...

Lucas: "Hey Mom?"

Me: "Yeah Buddy?"

Lucas: "Remember when I pushed-ed that watermeldon down the stairs?"

Me: "Um. Yeah Bud. That's hard to forget."

Lucas: "Yeah. That was a bad choice."

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Finally, this one is lengthy and I apologize but it is too good not to share. About 3 weeks ago I went in for my annual eye appointment and contact fitting. The week before Luke had his appointment and took Ashlee with him. To appease Lucas, I told him that when I went the next week, I'd take him with me.

I forgot I'd have a nursing newborn with me as well. But, I had made a promise so off Lucas, Ella and I go to the eye doctor. Lucas brought a puzzle and some stickers with him and was doing fabulously. First, the assistant has me remove my contacts. Then, she numbs and dilates my eyes.

Basically, I'm now legally blind.

After a few minutes of waiting, Lucas announces that he has to go to the bathroom. Since we'd just went a few minutes before, when we had arrived, I sent him down the hall on his own. A few seconds later I hear,

"Mooooooooom!! I need help!"

I step into the hallway. (Which, you should know, is the only hallway in the building and it goes from the front door all the way back to the bathroom. Everyone in the waiting area can see down the hallway. Well, everyone with their eye sight still in tact. Mine is not, remember?)

All I see is Lucas in his shirt, a large space of nakedness, and his shorts covering his shoes.

"Lucas!" I stammer, "Pull your pants up! Everyone can see you!"

"I'm sorry Mommy," he says, almost in tears, "I tried to make in on the potty."

I enter into the bathroom, still mostly blind and see a general white area I assume is the toilet. On the front of the toilet I see a large, brown blob.

"What happened?" I ask Lucas sincerely, since I CAN'T REALLY SEE.

"I pooped but didn't make it on the potty," he said, clearly upset.

For the next 20 minutes I attempt to clean up a bathroom full of poop with little-to-no vision. Because my eyes are dilated, having on the bathroom light feels like I'm staring directly into the sun. My dilated eyes also inhibit my already contact-less eye sight.

As I wipe the floor, Lucas makes general comments like, "Oh! There's some Momma.....Oops, you stepped on it."

I take paper towels and some hand soap and clean up and down both sides of Lucas' legs. Afterall, it would have been inappropriate for him to wear anything other than athletic shorts and his cowboy boots out in public. Which means, his poop fell out of his shorts and down INTO his boots. I end up throwing away his underwear and socks. By the grace of God his shorts remained poop-less. (Or so I think. I was going on my sense of smell since I COULDN'T SEE.)

Then, I begin cleaning up the rest of the floor. However, this facility has clearly been in use for a while. Like most public bathrooms with tile, it has those brownish stains on the floor. To a person with dilated eyes and NO VISION all of those areas appear to be smudged with poop.

So, I'm blindly wiping off the entire floor, unsure if I'm cleaning up poop or just performing general janitorial services for my optometrist.

At the time it was entirely stressful because Ella HATES her carset and was screaming her head off in the patient room down the hall. Now, it's mildly comical.

To top it all off, last night when Luke and I went on our date, our optometrist came in and sat at the table beside us.

He totally pretended like he didn't know us. I'm totally not kidding.

Or, maybe he just didn't recognize me with my eyesight fully intact.

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I've added back the Linky. If you'd like to write a Das Not Funny! Friday post, I'd love to read it. It's VERY simple, just click on the link below and enter the URL (the web address for your post) into the empty fields!

Happy Friday everyone! Have a blessed weekend!

There's nothing like having a twin

There have been times when people questioned why we wanted to foster and then adopt.

And other times that they questioned why we would take two more children, so close in age, when we already had our "own" kids.

Some have questioned how these two little ones would feel, having a sibling with a birthday so close to theirs.

And it's true that they have to share a lot of toys, share a lot of Mommy's lap, share a lot of their time, share their snacks and often their socks and shoes.

But I think that when they are able to talk and articulate themselves clearly...


...they will be able to tell you...

...that there's nothing like having a "twin."

(A special thanks to my friend Paige who took all these photos! Thanks, Paige!)

We're hair raisingly different

I had an absolutely amazing weekend with our church's teenagers. I'm still processing most of what I saw, heard and felt. But, I can promise you that I will never view worship the same way again. And, I do believe, this weekend I worshiped God more authentically than I ever have before. But, I'd like to delve into this weekend further in another post, after I've had time to process everything.

For now, I'll keep this post hair-raising in a totally different way.

Here in the Beaver house, we've made a lot changes in our hair care lately. Usually, I do all of the hair cutting for Luke and all the children. Occasionally I'll really mess up someone's hair and have to take them to my friend and stylista to have their head fixed. Well, not so long ago I was giving Luke a haircut. I was using our very old, very worn out clippers to trim down his hair before I began using the scissors. As I ran the clippers, with the tallest guard on, over the top of Luke's head I heard and felt a sudden...zzzzurrrrrffft.

"Uh oh," I said as I stepped back and looked at Luke's hair.

"Whatever," he said flippantly as it wasn't the first time I'd said those words and made a shocked face.

"Um. Honey, I'm not kidding this time," I stammered in shock.

"Whatever," Luke continued.

You see, I love it when his hair is longer and his red curls cover the top of his head. So he knows that I wouldn't really buzz his head with the clippers on purpose.

"No baby. I'm totally serious. The clippers caught and, well, I think I'm going to have to use the 2 guard all over your head."

So that's just what I ended up doing. Usually in the summer Luke prefers his hair short so he wasn't nearly as bummed as I was.

(There is a point to this meaningless story, I promise. If your eyes begin to bleed from the mundane just scroll down to the photos, if you desire, and call it a day.)

The next day I planned on cutting Lucas' hair. Instead of him letting me just trim it up, he wanted his hair cut, "just like Daddy's." So, Luke decided HE would cut Lucas' hair. I simply watched, photographed and cringed just a little.

Here's my sweet (almost) 4 year old, wild-haired boy before...


During...Half way through with a "mo-ed hawks"...

And after with his "Daddy's haircut"...

2/3 of my handsome men!

Then, this weekend Aaron went and stayed with our great friends the Hauts. Beth is, by far, a better haircutter than I am and I asked her oh-so-casually if she's like to cut Aaron's hair since he has about 47 cowlicks on his head and I have no idea what to do with it.

This is crazy-head-magoo's Aaron's hair before...

And, with a much better photographer's skills, here is the after...


And I just love this one of Aaron and Daniel. Only 3 days apart in age, these boys. I sure pray Aaron (and all our children) will always choose friends who come from a family who loves the Lord like the Haut kids do.


Finally, my own personal hair transformation (that I mentioned here). If you're unsure of what my hair looked like before, look at the photos in this post. Before I got it cut, it was pretty long and looked a lot like a certain singer whom I will not mention and only say that he "would do anything for love...except that" and he goes great with mashed potatoes.

At any rate, this photo was taken this weekend, and even though my sunglasses are on my head totally ruining the moment of a great photo post-haircut, you'll get the idea.

Hope y'all have a hair-raising week.

In this certain city

I know I said no funnies today but I had to share this one...

As we pulled down our long driveway earlier today, Lucas spotted a squirrel running across our yard.

"Wook Mom! A squirrdel! A squirrdel!"

"Yes Buddy, I see that squirrel," I replied, trying (or pretending to try) to match his enthusiasm.

"Yeah," he continued, "der sure are a wot of squirredls in this certain city."

Also in this certain city, a hilarious little boy.

A 3 week comparison

Tuesday marked 3 weeks since Ella's arrival. According to friends and family, the jury is still out on who she looks the most like. Some people say Luke others say me. Personally, I think she looks a little bit like each of our biological children, having different characteristics of each of them when they were babies.

In my opinion though, hands down Ella resembles Elizabeth's baby photos most. It's almost creepy. As I've looked back through some baby photos of all 5 of the older children, I've realized a couple things.

1) My hair has changed A LOT in the last 6 years. I mean, like, it's changed YEARLY. And, because I liked my hair so much in one of the photos, Went and got it all cut off yesterday. Like, to my chin cut off (it was probably 4-5 inches below my shoulders before). I'll try to post a photo sometime soon.

2) After Elizabeth, none of the other children have very many photos of them, by themselves, as babies. Probably because if I'm holding the camera that means someone else is holding the baby and in most cases, it's a sibling.

So, take a walk with me, if you so desire, down memory lane. If you don't desire, look away now. In keeping with Ella's 3 week old status, most of these photos were taken of the kids when they were 3 weeks old. Let's compare, shall we?

This is Elizabeth at around 3 weeks old. I can barely see any of that baby face in my 5.5 year old girl now, which hurts this Momma's heart just a little.

Okay, the photo above isn't of the twins at 3 weeks, but this is the photo I liked of my hair and I decided yesterday, at the last minute, to go even shorter than this. That's Luke's Dad and Step-Mom in the photo with us.

Here are the twins at 3 weeks-ish and Elizabeth just shy of 2 years old. Man, I thought those days were full of chaos. Funny how God was preparing me for a life of chaos that entire time and I never even knew it.

Here is Aaron at around 3 weeks old and I'm not sure who that sweet, little, chubby faced, 2 year old boy is holding him because I'm fairly certain that person was quickly replaced by an (almost) four year old boy in the blink of an eye.


Here's my sweet Olivia girl at 3 weeks old. This was her first "real" bath. I can hardly believe she was ever that tiny. Look at those sweet, little lips! I just wanna smooch them!

Finally, here is one of Ella Joy that I just took a few minutes ago. Lemme put that first photo of Elizabeth down here so you can adequately compare the two.

Crazy huh?

Luke made a comment the other night that he couldn't believe Ella was already 3 weeks old. To which I replied that I couldn't believe she was only 3 weeks old because it had felt like she'd been here much longer than that and I could hardly remember life before her.

On a totally different note, this weekend is DiscipleNow Weekend with our church's youth. I blogged about it here and here two D*Weekends ago. I just can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to spending my weekend with a house full of teenagers! I always walk away from the weekend way more blessed than I ever thought possible. So, most likely, I won't post a Das Not Funny! Friday tomorrow. If you'd like a laugh though you can always click on the Das Not Funny! Friday button over on my right sidebar and it will take you to the Das Not Funny! Friday archives (or click on that little link I just provided you, because I'm handy like that).

I hope y'all have a great weekend!

He is calling, just like before

It's been almost a whole month since I blogged about what God is revealing to Luke and I about the direction He wants our family to take. Sorry about that. It wasn't intentional. Let me catch those of you who may be new around these parts up to speed.

For over a year now, Luke and I have been praying through where we feel God is leading our family. I have avoided blogging about it here because, well...truthfully...I wasn't sure. I was afraid that I'd say something then it would never come to pass and then I'd look like a stupid Christian who blindly follows some pie-in-the-sky God who really doesn't speak to people.

And, the truth still remains that I will most likely tell you what I feel God has been pressing on our hearts and I'll still get it wrong. But the difference now is that I can clearly see how God has worked in our family over the last year. He has shown us, in some pretty profound ways, that He is, indeed, in control. He has shown us that giving up everything we think we know to follow His lead may make us look like idiots to the world. And finally, I think we are okay with that.

Finally.

The post below was originally written on the private blog my husband and I share. I wrote it on February 11, 2009.

If you've not read this post or this post yet, you might want to read those before continuing this one. Keep in mind that I share these things with you all not because I believe in myself or because I speak with any shred of self-worth. Luke and I are not super-Christians nor do we have this whole Jesus-follower thing figured out. Actually, quite the opposite is true. We stumble through the day to day trying to see where God is leading and we mess up, a lot.

My purpose in sharing these posts with you is because I simply want you to see how incredibly big God is and how amazing it is that the God who created stars and planets and microscopic particles desires to use a hopelessly flawed, imperfect being like me to accomplish His purposes.

My prayer is that through us, you may see Him.

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Originally posted on 2/11/09:


After that trip to Virginia, I felt my heart being stirred for missions. However, this was not the first time. Before we were pregnant with the twins, I attended several of our Mission's Pastor's meetings about church mission trips.

However, as the decision day for the trips approached {and it was time to make the deposits for the trip to Zimbabwe, the one I felt drawn to}, Luke and I started making plans to add to our small family. The next month I became pregnant with Lucas and Ashlee. I knew that a mission trip while pregnant was not a good idea {at least not one to a 3rd world country and the only mission trip within the US that our church was sponsoring was a construction trip, again not do-able for a pregnant lady}.

{Soon the twins were born and} as our life became overly busy with the bustle of 3 children, ages 2 and younger, missions became a faint whisper in my heart. My focus was on these babies, foreign missions seemed to be a thing of the past. What I could not understand was why the thoughts still lingered? Although the desire was not as strong, I knew that we were being prepared for A mission field. I felt that it was incredibly intentional that we were chosen {by God} to parent 3 children within a 2 year period. I knew that dealing with chaos, changing many, many, many diapers, interpreting toddler talk, kissing boo boos and settling toy disputes was all training for a later purpose.

As the twins grew older and became more and more mobile, I became incredibly frustrated with our small (to us) house. The search began for a new home and a stirring in my heart was kindled once more.

This time, the longing wasn't for foreign missions, but a mission within our own home. Conversations of adding more children to our abundant quiver became regular and Luke and I quickly realized that our calling was to be focused within the walls of our own home. I had felt long ago that we would bring in "outside" children, but Luke took a while to warm up (as he does with all things).

In October of 2007 we moved into our new home {you know, the one we just sold last month?}. About a month after {we moved in}, Luke and I were lying in bed. He looked at me and said,

"You still think about becoming foster parents?"

I looked at him in shock. You see, we hadn't spoken about this for almost a year.

I stammered out a reply of shock mixed with joy.

The next day I called the Department of Social Services and in February we began our classes to become licensed foster parents. If you've followed our story at all, you will know that our sweet Baby Aaron (Baby D) was born THE DAY we got licensed and 4 days later he joined our family as our first fostering placement.

And now, just as it happened just a few short years ago, I am feeling that stirring. This time, it is focused once more outside of our home, something missions related. Although I do not know the end result, I do know these few things:

1) Luke and I both feel a calling to something new, outside of our comfort zone.

2) It is consistent and does not fade.

3) It will be completely God inspired and a total act of obedience, something we have already experienced with our calling to foster.

4) The more time I spend in God's word, the more I feel an ache that is deep within my heart. Something to do with Africa and it's hurting children.

Oh, merciful, magnificent and marvelous Father. I feel a deep ache within my heart, a burden you have placed within me, and something that only you can reveal to me. I pray Lord, that as I grow in maturity that you will reveal to Luke and I exactly what our next calling will be. I praise you Lord for choosing me, a sinful servant, to fulfill your work. In Jesus sweet name, Amen.

Das Not Funny! Friday:

Welcome to this week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. Wanna know what Das Not Funny! Friday is all about? Well, just click here for the short (or maybe long...I didn't really re-read that post because I'm lazy) version.

Now, onto the funnies...

The Friday after Ella was born Luke and I took her in for her newborn check up. Big sister Elizabeth tagged along with us for some special time with her baby sister. As we sat in the patient room waiting on the doctor to come in, Elizabeth did some type of roll or something on the floor (don't ask, I don't really know).

So naturally, I made her wash her hands. She went over to the sink and washed her hands using the same sink the doctor uses when she comes in to examine the kids. She grabs a paper towel, dries her hands then walks over to the trash can. Elizabeth then uses her foot to open the trashcan, plops in her used paper towel, spins on her heel to face us and says,

"Now. Let's take a look at that baby."

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Earlier one evening this week I was feeling especially tired. Luke and I were both standing in the kitchen and I leaned over and wrapped my arms around my husband and half hugged, half slouched onto him. Luke wrapped his arms around me and hugged me back. Lucas observed our interaction, leaned up against the fridge and sighed a huge..."Awwwwwwwwww" as if it were the tenderest thing he's ever seen.

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Every night we send the big kids to bed with a sippy of water. We started that when Elizabeth moved from her crib to a big girl bed and we've just never broken them of it. Rarely do they drink the water but it's mandatory (according to the children) nonetheless. For the girls' room, who ever sleeps on the top bunk puts her sippy on the small ledge at the head of the bed.

Wednesday evening Ashlee cracks open our bedroom door.

"Yes Ashlee?" Luke half states half questions.

"Daddy. You begot our drink," Ashlee says.

"No we didn't Ash. It's by your head," Luke assures her.

Confused, Ashlee raises one, scrawny finger, places it on the very top of her sweet, red head and says, questioningly, "Here?"

Y'all have a ridiculously awesome weekend!

(On a side note...is anyone else doing a Das Not Funny! Friday post? If you are, would you like me to put MckLinky back on here so others can come to your posts? After going several weeks without anyone linking up, I omitted that step to save some time. But, if y'all are writing them I will surely add MckLinky back so we can laugh at you....uh, I mean with you too. Just let me know!)

Ella's Birth Story

First of all, can I just say that I can never decide if it's appropriate to capitalize the first letter in each word of the post's title, or if it's better to just make the first word capitalized and the rest lower case.

I mull over it every time I post, which shows you just where my true obsessions lie. Clearly NOT in housekeeping or homemaking or whatever my supposed title is.

Okay, so I thought maybe 2 of you might care about Ella's birth story. And if I don't write it out somewhere I'll forget most of it and this is, afterall, my best option for "writing it down."

42 weeks. Who in the heck is pregnant for 42 weeks?

Apparently, me.

42 weeks and 1 day if you want to get technical, and we all know I'm a stickler for details...not. Anyway, at my 42 week check up on Monday the 22nd, Dr. D said that the ultrasound showed some signs of calcification on the baby's placenta. He noted that at that point it wasn't a huge deal but if left in there the baby might show more signs of distress during labor and delivery. So, he suggested (actually pretty much stated) that I be induced the following morning. He tossed around the idea of just sending me straight over to the hospital right then, but I'm fairly certain that the look of panic that swept across Luke's face upon hearing those words changed Dr. D's mind.

Clearly God has it in our best interest for us to have each of our childrens' birth's scheduled, if for no other reason than for my husband's sanity.

So, I enjoyed my last day of pregnancy and did all the things a pregnant woman does who is delivering a baby the next day.

I went to Walmart.

Clearly the mecca of pregnant women everywhere who are 42+ weeks pregnant.

I stocked up on frozen food items so that our sweet babysitter would have plenty of options for food choices. I then spent approximately 72.5 hours on the phone arranging alternate childcare for all 5 kids while our babysitter was in class from 11-4 on Tuesday. See, attention to details. Or not.

It was a magical day that gave me ample time to reflect on the daunting and miraculous change my body was about to undergo.

Notsomuch.

I slept about 21 minutes on Monday night because I bounced back and forth between excited, nervous and the bathroom (thanks to a bladder the size of a raisin).

At 6:00am I called up to the Labor and Delivery suite and sure enough they had room for my, now medically necessary, induction. At 6:30am Luke and I shuffle out to the car, hit up a drive thru for some breakfast biscuits and my stomach really begins to turn from the anxiety of it all.

When I was induced the first time, with Elizabeth, I had just about no anxiety. This being the third time I was being induced, I knew what was coming. Which I'm not so sure was a good thing, at least not for my nerves.

We get to the hospital and sit for a sweet forever in the admitting office, which I'm sure is dramatically less climactic than rushing through the doors of the ER screaming that I'm in labor and to get this baby out now. Although I thought about doing just that to the ladies in the admitting office but judging from their lack of urgency I don't think it would have gotten me very far.

I walk waddle up to labor and delivery, get settled in, and finally Dr. D comes in to break my water. We opted to do this first and for me to try to avoid pitocin at all costs. However, after several attempts to break my water, Dr. D is still unsure if he's actually ruptured me. He said that there was very little water around the baby and he couldn't be sure. So, I could either start pitocin right then, or wait and see if my water was indeed broken and contractions would begin on their own.

I decided to see if I'd start contracting on my own. An hour later I was still contractionless and I asked for the devil drug also known as pitocin. Like I said before, I really believe now that pitocin is extracted straight from the veins of the devil before it is put in the IV of laboring women.

I continued to kick Luke's butt in a serious game of scrabble and after about and hour and half of pitocin I threw the scrabble board at Luke's head because IT HURT THAT MUCH.

Actually, that's a lie. It did hurt but we were totally playing scrabble on the computer not on a game board. PS: Laptops can be flung like a frisbees.

I was really hoping I could go without an epidural this time around. Don't ask me why I wanted to do that. Apparently I thought I would enjoy the feeling of my pelvis breaking in half.

I got my epidural around 2:00ish and at that time I was dilated to about 6 cm. And, about 2 hours later I was fully dilated and ready to push. Like, really ready to push. Like, feeling THAT feeling ready to push.

But, Dr. D wasn't there yet so I just had to wait.

Mmmkay, I doubt any doctors read my blog but if there ever happens to be one, PLEASE know that telling a fully dilated woman that she shouldn't push doesn't make it easier to not want to push. In fact, I'd venture to guess that it makes a fully dilated pregnant woman want to push even more. I'm just sayin'.

Dr. D gets there and as he is "suiting up" with his back to me he says, "Okay, I'm here now. Do whatever you feel like you need to do."

In which I say to his BACK, "You may wanna turn around because I don't think this is going to take long."

Sure enough, I pushed about 4 times and heard the words I'd been waiting to hear for a sweet 42 weeks and 1 day...

"It's a girl!"

And at that same time I heard the best sound in the entire world, the cry of a sweet newborn baby.

God is so good. And, I love this little girl beyond what my words could express.

Our Easter...in pictures

If you came here because of the title expecting to see beautifully posed children in their Easter attire and a nice, wholesome photo of our family.....well, you should know me better than that by now. Shame on you.

We did have a great Easter at church and then spent an awesome Easter afternoon with family. However, when family photo time came around it was less than awesome. If you could have been a fly on the wall a bug in the yard, you'd have seen the following transpire....

Me: "Okay kids. Can we all come sit down and take a family Easter picture please?"

My children run amuck and Ashlee and Elizabeth are more concerned about taking the picture than being in the picture.

Don't you just love the look of utter annoyance sheer joy on Luke's face and my clear disgust overwhelming happiness with my children? Those are the looks of love I tell you.

After Elizabeth and Ashlee are persuaded to become photo dwelling members of our family, we snap the following photo...

It could have been sweet, quick, family photo perfection except for the fact that my Dad is in the background. Well, half of him anyway. Also, please take note of the sneaky smile upon my eldest son's face. It isn't just for show.

Me: "Okay. Dad's out of the way, all the kids are set, quick TAKE A PICTURE!!!"

It could have been the one (you know, the perfect Easter picture) if it wasn't for the fact that Lucas thought I was speaking to him, rather than the person holding our family's camera. So, being that he is completely obedient 100% of the time a normal (almost) 4 year old boy he does just as I've directed.

Only after taking one photo does photographer Lucas realize that his camera is backwards.


There. Much better. Plus, I like it when my eyes are completely closed.

Finally, we decided to chalk it up to the impossibility of taking a REAL family photo and decided silly faces were best.

Actually, we did pull off one decent photo in the 18 photos that were taken. Unfortunately, our photographer that day was not quite as talented as our professional photographer and it's dramatically slightly off center. (That's okay Mom, we weren't exactly compliant photography subjects.)

Hope y'all had as blessed of an Easter as we did.

"But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb,taking the spices they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel. And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them,
'Why do you seek the living among the dead?
He is not here, but has risen.'"

~ Luke 24: 1-6a

My memory stinks

We are alive. I've been consumed by this little face.

Well, her face and the face of 5 other little Beavers. Sorry for no Das Not Funny! Friday post today. There have been a bazillion funny things happen in the last week and, unfortunately, I can only remember ONE.

I blame sleep deprivation. Good thing she's cute.

1 week old

Its only been 1 week since our sweet Ella Joy made her appearance and I'm already finding it difficult to remember what our life was like without her.

Last Friday my amazingly talented friend Beth came over and, in about 10 minutes, snapped these shots of our littlest daughter.



You should totally hop over to her photography blog and see some more photos of our sweet Ella and even one she snapped of our precious Olivia.

Thank you Beth for loving my children so much that you go out of your way to capture these moments for us. I am so blessed by you.