Happy Birthday Lucas! Happy Birthday Ashlee!

Today my babies turn 2! Part of me can hardly believe that it's only been 2 years since they were born. In the same breath, it feels like they just arrived yesterday.





Lucas Marvin
Born at 1:18pm
5 lbs 2oz, 19 inches

Ashlee Faith

3:42pm
(yes, that's correct)

5lbs 13oz, 19.5 inches

Since the day they were born, they've each been unique. Lucas is usually very serious and "all boy." Ashlee began her life as a drama queen and has never looked back (notice the 2.5 hour delay between their births)! In the two brief years they've been on this earth, they've taught me so much about being a mother and follower of Christ. It hasn't always been easy, but their lives have given me joy each and every day.

Lucas,

You're such the little man. You want to do everything your big sister does (plus some). You love to "help" Daddy. You are strong willed and determined. I know that if I do my job and train you properly, you will use that strong will of yours for the Lord to further His kingdom. You are a very serious little boy, but you also know how to be silly. When you belly laugh, you make our whole family crack up!


Ashlee,

I've never met a little girl as loving as you! You are constantly offering hugs, "sugar-lips" and affection. God knew just what I needed when He made you my daughter!! I treasure the endless kisses and hugs. You have a fiery temper to match that beautiful red hair. I pray, that as I parent you, you will learn to focus that "passion" toward our Savior, and win people for Him.

You both make my heart swell with joy and pride.

I love you,

Mommy

From 1 - 31? I'll Be An 8

I really don't like the Proverbs 31 woman. Since the first time I read those words, I've never liked her. She is a woman that seems to have reached near perfection, something that is light years away from me. When I read most of the words in Proverbs 31, it leaves me feeling disheartened rather than inspired. I feel angry not convicted. I feel hopeless not rejuvenated. In the 21 verses that describe this impeccable woman, I can only identify with two. Verses 11 and 23 seem to be only ones I posses or even want to;

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Even those have more to do with my husband's mindset than my ability. I see this woman and I have no desire to be anything like her. Who wants to "get up while it's still dark" and have a "lamp that does not go out at night?" Not me! When I see Proverbs 31 I think of all the things I am not, rather than the things I aspire to be.

I consider myself more like the woman from John chapter 8. No, I'm not an adulterer, but I can identify with her sin, her scars, her dirt. Here is a woman who has been caught in the most heinous of sins. Then, for everyone to see, she is brought to the center of town and called out. Instead of persecuting her more, Jesus draws the attention from her to Himself. He takes her sin and makes Himself the center of attention. Then, in a moment completely true to His character, He commands that she be stoned only by those who have never sinned. Impossible!

The guilty is redeemed. The woman is seen in light of the Truth.

I am this woman. I am the one who feels as though her every sin has been brought forth to the center of the crowd. I am the woman who sees the innermost of my heart and feels as though it's on display for the world to ridicule. Then, when thrown at the feet of Christ, waiting for my judgment, He simply takes the sin and draws the attention to Himself. My sins are forgotten and I am made anew. I am pardoned and excused. I visualize Jesus reaching His mighty hands down, grabbing me under the armpits (much like you would pick up a small child), setting me on my feet again. He gently brushes off the dirt, then pats me on the back, sending me on my way. The shame is gone, the sin erased.

I don't like the Proverbs 31 woman, but I love the lady in John 8.

1,000 Thoughts

It's been a crazy week. I have so many thoughts rolling around in my mind. It almost feels like that game you get at the dollar store, where there are several little marbles inside the little plastic case, and the goal is to get them to all land securely in their little holes. For some reason, my thoughts cannot be settled. We'd have busy schedules these past few weeks, but for some reason, even during down time my mind cannot be still. I need to do several days worth of my Bible study, which I know is not a good thing to cram several days into one.

I went to a homeschool convention on Thursday and Friday (and was too overloaded to go back on Saturday). I've been thinking about the curriculum I bought and I am excited to begin showing Elizabeth (and the twins) the world so that they might fall in love with learning.

Our foster care license should be processed soon, which means that any time now we could get the call. I am already praying for the children that will come into our home and that I might have discernment for their situation.

Lucas and Ashlee will be 2 years old on Friday. I can hardly believe it! Luke and I were looking at some pictures a few weeks ago, and it really seems like it's only been a few months ago that we brought them home from the hospital. Lately, when I look at them, I see little kids rather than my babies and it makes me sad.

There are some family situations that I am worried about. I know that a lot of people close to me are hurting, and it's challenging to be uplifting when I feel the weight of their sorrows on my shoulders. With each revelation of pain, I feel physical weight being laid on me. I know I need to pray and lay it at God's feet, but for some reason I'm struggling with that. Am I doubting His ability to work miracles or the willingness of the people in my life to change? I'm not sure.

Those are just a few of the thousand thoughts running through my mind. Sorry to be Debbie Downer. Sometimes you just gotta lay it all out, so you can walk away and give your mind time to breathe.

Prayers for the Chapmans

Please be in prayer for this family. I can't imagine their sorrow.

Experiencing God, Take 3

This morning, I attended a women's group with my mom. She's been attending regularly with these women for a while now, and always raves about how wonderful they are. They have supported her spiritually and emotionally in ways that I am unable, and for that I am so truly thankful.

Today, they began a new study, Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. I have done this study twice before, but jumped at the opportunity to do it again, because it is just an amazing study that shoves you face-to-face with God. I am looking forward to seeing God more clearly. I am always blown away at how much God loves me, desires me and shows Himself to me. I hope that if you've never done Experiencing God that you will RUN, not walk, to your nearest bookstore and buy it TODAY. It's that good. I am excited to see what God has in store for me and my family in the coming months as our Foster Care license becomes valid and as I pray over various things that have been on my mind. I know He is a powerful and amazing God, and I am so humbled that He chooses ME to do things for His kingdom. How awesome.

Come Thou Fount

This song has been in my heart for several days now. Along with it, Chris and Lindy have been on my heart as well. As I searched Youtube for a video with the lyrics, I found the video below. It was by no "accident" that the two (Africa and song) were combined.

So, Chris and Lindy...here is my prayer for you both, as we sit exactly 1 month out from your departure. I love you. God is good, and His goodness proceeds you.


PS-When Elizabeth saw the zebras in the video, she exclaimed "Mom, it's Zachy!" Thanks for putting this constant reminder in her life. We'll never see zebras the same way again.

Five For Friday

I stole this from another blog. Five for Friday is 5 thoughts I have rolling around in my mind. This week's are all about events/happenings from this past week.

1. Our family had 2 opportunities to help other people this week (both on Tuesday). Both of the chances to serve were b/c of our van and it being broken/fixed. They were great teachable moments for Elizabeth, and even better chances for Luke and I to see God at work.

2. Decorating with my Mom can be fun.

3. Nothing makes me feel as good as a clean (I mean REALLY clean) house. It's so relaxing.

4. I'm thankful that I have 3 healthy kids.

5. I need to sort through Elizabeth's 24 month clothes for Ashlee. My babies turn 2 in 2 weeks. Where did the time go?

Kick That To The Curb

Nothing frustrates me more than car troubles. Why is it that I allow so much anger, frustration and hatred creep into my heart over nothing more than a pile of plastic and metal? Two Friday's ago we dropped our van off at a local auto shop. We knew it needed some serious work because it is continuing to leak coolant and overheat. After keeping our car all day, I called at 5:00pm (closing time, on Friday, remember?) and asked if it was ready to be picked up. The gentleman explained to me the problem and told me it was at least a 6 hour job and that they wouldn't be able fix it that day. I told him I needed the car as it is the only vehicle we have that our entire family can ride in. We went to pick it up and were going to return it the following week.

Our schedules didn't allow us to drop it back off yesterday (Monday). They worked on it all day yesterday (never called me, not once) and when I called at 5:15pm to see if it was ready, they told me that the needed to keep it until the morning. The gentleman assured me it would be done 1st thing this morning.

Elizabeth also had a dentist appointment this morning. So, the plan was for Luke to take her to the dentist (which is literally 10 min from his work) and I would go get the van and meet him there to pick her up, hopefully eliminating the need for him to drive all the way back home, then back to work (roughly 1 hours worth of driving). I called the auto shop at 8:15am, only to be told it would be at least 1 1/2 hours. Great. I took a shower and loaded the twins in the stroller, I was determined to be there promptly at 9:30, hoping my presence would light a fire underneath them.

I left my house a little after 9:00am and walked, yes you read that right, walked the almost 2 miles to the auto shop. We get there just after 9:30. I wait patiently...only to be told it that there was a new problem w/ our car and it would be another 30-45 minutes. Uuuuugggggghhhhhh!!!!!!

Luckily, there is a coffee shop just around the corner. The twins and I head there, hoping to grab a quick snack.

TWO HOURS LATER, I call the auto shop, where I am told that my vehicle is finally ready. In those 2 hours, I got no phone call explaining that it is taking longer than expected, telling me that the job had to be pushed back, nothing. As the twins, Elizabeth (b/c Luke had dropped her off at this point, so he could go to work) are walking from the coffee shop back to the auto shop I am praying that my blood will stop boiling. I am asking God for peace. I know that the owner of the shop is a Christian b/c of previous interactions. I know that I do not need to be rude, but accept this misfortune with grace, showing Christ's love for everyone in my actions.

What I wanted to say was, "This is ridiculous! Can't you see that I have been waiting for this car for almost 36 hours? My family can't go anywhere! I WALKED here w/ my two 2-year olds and you didn't even have the decency to speed things up?"

However, I asked all three kids to thank the man for fixing our car. I knew that this poor guy had lost his teenage son just over a year ago. I heard him talking about his children to other people in the shop, and I knew that the LAST thing he needed was a piece of my mind.

Trust me, I wanted to let him have it, but by there sheer grace of God, I held my tounge. It made me realize that the next time, I may not know the background of the person I'm dealing with . Instead of being so critical, I should accept things for what they are, and try to show Christ's love thru my actions.

You know, I REALLY love God, but sometimes, being His servant is so hard. Now, if I could only erase the anger in my heart I'll be moving in the right direction.

Diamonds and Roses, The Best Gifts of All

Have you ever viewed the world through a child's eyes? Have you ever really looked at the everyday and seen the extraordinary? How overwhelmingly delightful the world must be! Lately, Lucas and Ashlee have discovered the wonderfulness of natural "yard berries." You know, those pesky little red berries that grow in the those pesky clover patches that consume your yard? Luke detests them, but my children delight in them completely. They love exploring the yard and finding hidden "treasures". I watch as they bring them to me, running full speed to seek my approval. Their eyes search my face for a glimpse the same excitement they revel in. I gladly accept each and every token of their love, but (admittedly) I return each treasure to it's natural habitat when little eyes aren't looking(shhhhh)!

Each time my children seek out treasure, it is pure joy. Rocks become bits of gold and diamonds, berries become beautiful jewels and weeds are breathtaking roses. They are so excited to share them with me, hoping each time I will cultivate a response worthy of their gift.

Last night was my long-haul teaching night. I am on the computer, tutoring from 6pm until well after 10 o'clock. I miss dinner time, bath time and bed time with the kids, leaving in all in Luke's hands. At about 10:30 last night, I drag myself into the bedroom, ready for some rest. I am a little peeved that there are still miscellaneous trivial tasks that need to be completed before I too can crawl into bed. I finish up the last of my "to do list," wash my face, brush my teeth and head for the kids' rooms. I peek in on each of them sleeping (one of my favorite times of the day). I check to make sure all the doors are securely locked, the alarm is set and nothing perishable has been left out in the kitchen. Ready for my pillow I walk into our bedroom.

As I am about to crawl into bed and enjoy our fresh sheets, I notice the most amazing gift on my nightstand. Beside my alarm clock, one or more of my children has left me a gift. It melted my heart to know that even though I couldn't be outside that evening exploring the yard, my children had found a treasure especially for me. It was a heartfelt offering that only a mother could love.

As I looked at my treasure throughout today, I began thinking about my relationship with God. I thought about my worth and my value. Sometimes I am too quick to count myself as ordinary. I easily cast aside the talents and strengths that He has given me because I cannot see their worth. Although my achievements may be just like everyone else's, they are special to my Savior. Even though my life is as boring as any ordinary rock in the yard, it is special because it was given, and is sustained, by a marvelous Creator. Although to this world I may seem as common as a wild weeds, to my God I am as beautiful as the most breathtaking rose.

As you scroll down to see the greatest gift of all time, I encourage you to see it in the same light that our Savior views you. Though to the world you may be a rock or a weed, to the God of Creation you are a Diamond and a Rose.


Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. ~ 1 Peter 3:3-4

Mother BabyFoundation

If you'd like to know more about the Mother BabyFoundation, or if you'd like to make a donation, email: motherbabyfoundation@northstate.net.

Donations of $10 or more will receive a custom designed Mother's Day Card, as an honorarium for a Mom in your life.

Happy Mothers, Healthy Babies

A Bout of Boat Fever

It's getting warm and we are all looking forward to summer! On Saturday afternoon, we took the boat down to the lake and went for a spin. (Click on pics to enlarge.)

There's no place like Nana's,
except her lake house!

Feeding the ducks


My favorite Men


Elizabeth helps PawPaw drive


Ashlee's turn


Lucas' turn...all boy!


Ashlee loved driving fast.
She's such a dare-devil!

We can't wait for summer!

Mom And The Rack Of Many Hats

I have recently gotten into a debate on another blog. I won't go into details of the debate, but I will say it has caused me to think about my actions more and how people view Christ in me. I started thinking about all the different "hats" I wear. You know the ordinary ones; mom, cook, chauffeur, wife, daughter, maid, etc., etc. In the serenity of the shower this morning, I started thinking, "Is Jesus written on each of my hats? Do I exude love, faithfulness and Christ when wearing each of these hats? As I went throughout my day today, I thought about what each hat said as I wore it.


The first hat I wore this morning was a waste management hat. When I opened the door to the twins' room, I found Lucas, completely naked in his crib. He had taken off his pj's and diaper. Unfortunately, his diaper contained his morning poop. He had smeared, thrown and smushed it all over himself and his bed and everything he touched was a poopy brown mess. As I scrubbed him in the bathtub, then disinfected and cleaned his bed, I thought about my role. Glamorous? No. Necessary? Yes! Such was also the life of Jesus.
Next up, breakfast. After disinfecting the bathtub, I put the girls in the tub and took Lucas to the table to get breakfast. While bathing the girls, Lucas proceeds to reject his food. Not just in a casual way, but in the only fashion that a 23 month old knows how to do, by throwing it as far from his reach as possible. After offering several detestable options, we settled on a chocolate chip muffin.

I resume my duties washing the girls in the bathtub only to return to the kitchen to find that I must now wear another hat.

Lucas has apparently now rejected the muffin, but not before he decided to crumble it and disperse it all over the table top and floor. Needless to say, I was not happy with my little man. So far this morning, he's caused more mess than he's worth. I set into cleaning up his second mess of the day. I wasn't too "Merry."
(I couldn't find an appropriate image when I searched "Maid's hat" so this will have to do.)
Next, I load all 3 kids into the car and head out the door. I play chauffeur for the duration of our ride to the City Lake Park. The big difference between my "clients" and those that pay, other than the monetary gain, is the noise level. Today was no exception. My kids are either full tilt or quiet as church mice. The latter only happens when we are watching a movie.

We arrive at the park just in time for lunch. It was a volunteer picnic for volunteers for the hospital. Since I'm on the Breastfeeding Support team as a volunteer I was invited, along with all 3 kids. It was a little chaotic, but fun to see the other moms on the team and especially their kids.


While at the park, Ashlee bumps her chin. Therefore, a new hat is adorned. This is one of my least favorites because usually I feel helpless. I wonder if Christ looks at my "boo-boos" and feels the same way?




Now it's time for snack. We're getting loaded back up into the car and Elizabeth let's out an ear piercing scream. I sprint around the van, sure she's smashed a body part in the door, only to see her entire bag of doritos spread all over the ground. She's not hurt, physically, but she's crushed. Her snack is gone. Time for a new hat, but this one I usually can't wear appropriately: MAGICIAN!


We complete our afternoon of "fun" when we arrive back safely at home. I torture our kids (I'm not googling "torture hat") and make them take a nap. Meanwhile, I try to take a break. I'm exhausted.

A couple hours later, my wonderful husband shows up and now it's hat time again. I want to be a pleasant wife for him and be happy and joyful to see him. I try my best to let him know how much I appreciate it each and everyday because he gives me the option to stay at home with our kids.

This is my favorite time of day because I'm with the people I love most.


As I reflect on the day, I wonder if Jesus was written on each hat I wore today. Can others see Him in me? Can they see Him as I change from person to person, fulfilling each task I've been assigned?

I know that our Savior wore the most painful hat of all. I know that he bore the burden for me and for that I'm truly grateful. Of all the hats I wear, I'm glad this one will never rest on my brow.

Mommy Wow! I'm A Big Kid Now...

Last night, Luke finally got the twins to sleep in their big kid beds for the 1st time. The toddler beds have been in their room for over a week now, but we never could get them to stay in them long enough to fall asleep. So, they've been sleeping in their cribs and just playing in the toddler beds.

Technically, Ashlee's bed is the white one and Lucas' is the brown, but apparently after the door was shut they quickly traded beds and then fell asleep.

*sigh*

Makes me so sad that my babies are so big. I snuck into their room and took these last night, after they'd fallen asleep.

It's funny that Lucas is sleeping in this bed. He really
prefers the white one over his brown one. Too funny!

This picture of Ashlee is just more confirmation
that she and Luke are just alike. I knew they looked alike,
walked alike and acted the same, but now I have proof that
the SLEEP just alike too. It just cracks me up!

It's All About Peace

Luke and I are not passionate about much. Mostly our passion is directed toward our God, family and friends. However, we are seriously passionate about money. We do not passionately pursue riches (not that we wouldn't love to have a cool million or so) but more so that we are passionate about being debt free. We are passionate about showing others the Peace that comes with knowing that your only master is God. I plan on this being a blog series, but time will tell. So, settle in, open your mind and think about your finances as I attempt to tell you why "It's All About Peace."
(Note: Please do not be offended by this post. If you recently discussed finances in your blog, asked us a question, etc. this is NOT aimed at you. Our Pastor has been doing a sermon series "How To Be Rich" and it has sparked a lot of thought. If you have asked questions or posted about money recently, please take this time to delve into my heart and understand how this spoiled "daddy's girl" learned how to be at peace with what she already has and how building riches in heaven surpasses my desire to build riches on this earth.)

As you read, please keep in mind that:
1. I am not a financial adviser
2. I didn't major in accounting/economics
3. I'm just a simple stay-at-home mom who passionately loves her Savior, Jesus Christ.

Luke and I are not completely debt free. We still have a mortgage. However, we do not have credit cards (literally, not even one), car payments, home equity loans or cash advances. Literally, all the debt we have is our mortgage. This isn't a bragging session about our family, it is simply factual. We are working fervently to pay off our mortgage so that we will not be in bondage to anyone.

Let me go further and explain my perception of bondage. Based on scripture, I see bondage as being tied to a person or possession that requires my service. Bondage keeps me from serving what I truly love and forces me to put other needs ahead of my Master's. I know this because of Proverbs 22:7 - "The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender." Servant? Wow. I do see Luke and I as servants. I want my only master to be God. However, because of the debt we owe to our mortgage company, we are their servants. Think about it like this....God wants His servants to do something radical, like move to Africa. However, because of ties to credit cards, mortgages, car payments, etc., the servant is unable to follow God's commands. Sure, you can sell the house, cars and "stuff" but most of the time American's are so far upside down in debt that they are unable to clear what they owe. Therefore, when God calls they are unable to answer. For me, that's not good enough. (On a side note, Onlyservants.blogspot.com does NOT fit into my above description. They pretty much rock.)

Okay, let's look at something more simple, because not everyone is moving to Africa. Let's look at something as simple as helping your neighbor. I think everyone can agree, Christian or not, that loving and helping others is what will make the difference in our world. Let's say that you are in line at Wal-mart. The lady in front of you is purchasing her groceries. She has nothing extravagant, just the necessities to feed and maintain her home; milk, bread, eggs, diapers. You see her 4 children. They look to all be ages 7ish and under. The cashier scans and bags her groceries. When totaled, it isn't an offensive amount, less than $100. She swipes a card - denied. She swipes a second card - denied. Finally, she digs into her purse and pulls out as much cash as she has. She's forced to put some groceries back and only get what she can pay for. You see the disgust on the cashiers face and feel the tug at your own heart. If only you could help, but that would mean less groceries for your own family.

Well, I was in line behind this woman. I was 6 or 7 months pregnant with our oldest child. I knew that I needed to help this woman, but I was powerless. As I watched her walk away, I was crushed for her. All she needed was an extra step, a little help, and she'd be fine. I knew that God was urging me, but I couldn't obey. I couldn't obey because I had another master. The master I was serving was college loans, credit cards and car payments. I knew that I couldn't allow those to supersede the Living God of my life. I knew I needed to change.

I challenge each person reading this to look at their checkbook. Look at your online statement. What God are you serving? Are they gods of debt? Could you respond at a moments notice and serve the Living God? Would it be financially detrimental for you to serve God when He calls? Are you bound by debt?

I want Christ to have every inch of me, my heart, my mind, my Spirit and my possessions. How much does Christ have of you?

Are you trying to serve two masters?

Dear Outsider Looking In,

This is an actual letter I wrote to a family member of mine, but I thought I would post it here just in case any of you are thinking the same thing. I know that many people who care about us are questioning our every move with Foster Care. Please read the previous post first, then this one. Hopefully, you can see why we need support. We're not asking for understanding, just support.
_____________________________________

Luke and I are entering this Foster Care thing with a lot of prayer and council from God. This wasn’t a flippant decision that we made overnight. It has been an evolving decision that we have made very slowly and with a lot of prayer, Bible reading and questions. Trust me, I’ve asked God so many times, “Are you sure, God? Do you really want us to do this?” Each time, God answers me with a resounding “YES!” I cannot tell you the number of times that God has confirmed for me (not counting Luke’s confirmations) that he wants us to give this a try. They are really random things looking in from the outside, but when I look at them, I can clearly see that it is God speaking to me.

The safety of our children is our #1 concern. I hope that you don’t think that we would ever place our kids in a situation that we thought was dangerous. I do not think that bringing in children ages birth-4yrs will be dangerous for them. The reason we have chosen to foster kids this young, is because we feel we can control the environment in our home with kids this age. We are purposefully NOT fostering older kids or teenagers because it might be dangerous for our kids. Also, Luke and I have said that if at any point we feel it is too much for our family, we will back out. We have complete control of the situation, and we get to choose which kids we will take and which ones we won’t. Social Services cannot force us to take any child. It’s all up to us when, who and what we allow into our home.

On the other hand, while I do not see it as dangerous, I do see it as risky. Let me explain how I see a difference. I perceive dangerous to mean life threatening, serious harm and exposure to things that will cause my children a great deal of pain. I don’t see how a child aged 0-4 could do this to us. If within the first day or so I see a child physically, mentally or emotionally harming one of our kids, I WILL call DSS and tell them to come remove the child from our home. However, with everything we’ve been trained on, this situation is unlikely.

Risk is something that Luke and I are willing to take. Recently I wrote on my blog (an online journal type thing) the following:

(Insert previous post)

I believe that God calls us to take risks. These risks are things that push us outside our comfort zone. Will bringing kids into our home who have been neglected, abused or abandoned be risky? You bet! Can God use those situations to His advantage to teach Luke, Me and the kids how to love people who are hard to love? You bet!

I know that this is hard to understand from where you are sitting. But I am asking you for your support. I don’t expect it to all make perfect sense to you, heck, somedays it doesn’t make perfect sense to me. I eagerly want your prayers. But I ask that you pray for God’s desires. I pray daily for God’s desires for my life. Instead of praying against us in this situation, please pray for us to have peace, protection, understanding and a heart of Jesus Christ. This will be hard enough just given the circumstances of what were facing. It will be unbearable without the prayer support of the people who love us most. Please pray for us. Because from this point on we know it is about being obedient to God. If we back out before we even begin, we’re being disobedient to God. That isn’t something I’m willing to do.

(Bump) You Say "Why?"...I Say "Why Not?"

The original date of this post was Feb. 22, 2008. In light of the things we're seeing around us, I thought it would be good to give a "bump" to the top of the list.

Today is Friday. We have the weekend ahead to relax and then our weeks will be packed for the next 10-12 weeks. Next Tuesday, we begin our classes to become licensed to be foster parents. Yep, foster parents. We already have 3 kids of our own and we are inviting more little ones into our home. From the outside, I know it sounds crazy. However, I've made a few observations lately and I'd like to share them.

We have several friends who are stepping out of their comfort zones to do some pretty major things because God has told them to. One couple is leaving everything (selling their house, selling their stuff, etc.) here and moving to Africa to become missionaries, another couple who already has 3 kids is adopting from Ethiopia, another couple is risking working part time to pursue a life in the ministry..and there are countless others. The one thing I have observed from all of these "risky" behaviors is that when God spoke these ideas to these people, it suddenly became normal. If you ask our friends, "Why Africa?", "Why adopt?", "Why the ministry?", their reply is, "Why not?" It makes perfect sense to them and suddenly they are wondering why everyone else doesn't "get it." The same is true for us with foster care.

Many people have said to us "Aren't you afraid that the foster kids will harm your own kids?" or "Why would you want to do that, you'll just have to give them back?" For us, it's easy. These kids need people to love on them and we have the love to give. I know it will be hard, draining, physically exhausting and costly. However, how can God ever step in and help us if we don't place ourselves in "risky" or "dangerous" situations? Now, I'm not saying jump off a cliff and ask God to save you, but if it clearly aligns with what He has spoken to your heart, revealed to you in scripture and it still appears "risky" then maybe He welcomes the risk because it allows Him to show more of Himself to you.

I welcome a continued, growing relationship with my Savior. I know that He would never allow me to endure more than I can handle (with His help). I know that my life will not always be sweet peaches, roses and bubble baths. So, if I have the capability to step out of my "comfort zone" spread around some love and learn a lot about myself an my God in the process, all I have to say is "Why not?"

Where The MAPP Ends

Update:

Luke and I continue to see Satan trying to discourage us from this ministry. Please pray with us as we attempt to stand strong and fight for what we know God has instructed us to do. It's about obedience at this point, and I will not be disobedient!

Tonight is our last Foster Parent (MAPP) class. We will be able to ask questions to a panel of people all in the Foster Parent system. I am excited to see how the night will play out. We invited my parents as well as some great friends to join us. With the insight of our guests, I'm hoping to see sides that I had not previously seen.

Please pray for us as we continue on this journey. Satan is starting to come at us with his guns loaded. I am feeling very attacked, which causes me to be super defensive, and I hate walking into anything with that mind set. Please pray that God will rally people around us who love, support and lift us up in prayer. Although everyone who loves us may not understand, I pray that they will approach us with support, encouragement and love.

Thanks, and here we go...

Reflections of M.O.M.

Life with twins is so easy. Let me rephrase that, life with ONLY twins is easier. I have had the privilege of only having the twins the last 24ish hours, and man, it's easy. Not that Elizabeth is a handful, but just 2 kids is so simple. I think that it's all about perspective really, because when the twins were first born, I caught an episode of Jon and Kate plus 8 and 3 of her sextuplets were down for naps and only 3 were awake. Her life appeared to be total chaos, but she looks at the camera calmly and says, "Man, life with triplets is a breeze."
I almost fainted.

When I saw that episode, Lucas and Ashlee were less than 2 months old and Elizabeth was just turning two. Anyway, it hit me yesterday as I was getting quality time in with the twins, that they are the exact age that Elizabeth was when they were born. That thought had hit me before, but I hadn't really taken the time to absorb it. So, I thought I'd take some time and reflect on those days. If you'd like to join me in my trip down memory lane, just scroll down :). (Click on photos to see them larger, except the 1st one, I'm large enough, thank you very much.)

2 days before the twins were born, confined to bed rest
but we snuck away for a day at the lake.
It was memorial day weekend, and they induced me
the following Tuesday. Wow, I was huge.

This picture was taken just 4 days before the twins were born.
I thought she was so little, still a baby. She is almost 22 months.



I'm thinking..."What precious, healthy gifts" and "Holy Crap"
all at the same time. I still think Elizabeth is a "baby."


Then, in she comes...to see Brother and Sister for the 1st time...
Oh my word, she's so BIG!


Just to give you some perspective,
Lucas weighed 5lbs 2oz and was born at 1:18pm
Ashlee weighed 5lbs 13oz and was born at 3:42pm
Yes, you read that right, almost 2.5 hours later.
She's continued to be her own little girl.


Leaving the hospital.
Humm...someone's already
showing signs of a temper...



1 week old



Lucas and Ashlee are 2.5 months
Elizabeth is just barely 2 years

This was smack in the middle of the hardest months of my life. God sustained us, and with the help of family of and friends we made it through. I can't believe it's almost been 2 years. Time flies when you're having fun. I pray that my memory won't fade and that I'll always remember how precious they continue to be.

As I think about adding more to the mix, I feel so many emotions, hesitation, excitement, weariness and peace. I am reminded of Psalm 127:3-5. I know that we are blessed b/c we have a quiver full of kids. I can't wait to see what God has in store for us as we continue our journey, and love every second.

Beach Bums

Elizabeth left about an hour ago and is headed to the beach with my Mom and Dad. She'll be gone until Sunday afternoon/evening. I tend to forget how much I love spending time with her until she's gone for a few hours.

Earlier this week, I was laying with her at nap time and we got the giggles and just laughed and laughed for no reason at all. It was awesome. Then, this morning I was looking for a shoe that had mysteriously diappeared and she says to me, as serious as possible,

"I don't need the other one Mom, I'll just wear one."

I looked at her and she busted out laughing. She's starting to really get a sense of humor and it just cracks me up.

So, please pray that she had a good time, but that her trip is safe. I have a deathly fear of sharks and knowing that she will be around/in the ocean makes my skin crawl.

I mean what if these idiots are on the same beach as my Elizabeth?

Kindness

Today, I took the kids to the "hair cut place" so Lucas could get a trim. We had lunch with Luke then came home.

When I checked the mailbox, there was a letter for Elizabeth. No address, no return address, just her name typed across the front.

I put the twins down for their nap, and together, Elizabeth and I opened it. Her eyes lit up when she saw it's contents, a single, crisp, green $10 bill.

"Wow! A dollar!" she exclaimed.

"Ten dollars." I said.

With that, she began the following song:

"I gotta dollar, I gotta dollar, hey, hey, hey, hey!" (stolen from the Little Rascals)

Also inside was typed note, thanking Elizabeth for giving money to Chris and Lindy and purchasing a picture to teach others about Jesus. The note was not signed.

Elizabeth was amazed that someone else knew the story. She has been singing the dollar song for 10 minutes now and is truly grateful.

So, if you are reading this, and you are the anonymous thank you person, I say "Thank You." Elizabeth saw God's grace in you, as much as you saw it in her.

And...after much deliberation, she plans on purchasing a Barbie.