Just between us, okay? You can't look at me sideways at church, email or call me and ask me if I'm okay, or really think less of me in general, okay? Deal?
Sometimes, I don't really like my two year olds.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE them every day. It's just that somedays I don't like them. And I don't think it's specific to the two year olds that I currently call mine. I remember when another dynamic duo was two and, somedays, I didn't like those two year olds either. Love them so much my heart might explode? Yes. Like them? Notsomuch.
Why are we Moms afraid to admit that there are just some ages that we are not so good at dealing with? I mean, I can handle a crying infant. I can handle it for long periods of time with little-to-no end in sight. I can rock and swing and walk and snuggle an upset baby for the majority of most days. I can handle the sleepless nights and the constant feedings.
But give me a defiant, overly dramatic, completely irrational two year old, who can't adequately articulate what he/she wants to say and then flies into a furry of pissed-offness because I can't understand his/her words...well, it's more than I can handle when it consumes my life every other 5 minutes.
I look at my sweet little Ella and wonder how many more months I have of her awesomeness until that day hits and the two year oldness begins. I'm praying for her to go straight from 16 months to 3 years. I'm doubting that's a providential prayer.
Yesterday was a rough day with my two little two year olds. I love them more than I could ever put into words but yesterday, I didn't like them very much. The irrationalness of throwing a fit because I won't allow a 2nd cup of juice and flinging a body on the floor because I won't allow coloring on the cabinets crawls all over me. As a coping mechanism I ignore irrational behavior and casually step over whomever is writhing on the floor in complete agony because I'm a mean Mom who refuses to allow you to play with the electrical socket.
And while I'm busy dealing with constant meltdowns, I'm wondering how Christlike I am to these irrational, overly dramatic tiny people on a daily basis. I mean, I try so, so, so hard to put myself in their size 5 shoes. I try to think about how hard it must be for them to try to tell me something that they want or need and yet I just can't understand. I try to understand that, often, they have to wait a few minutes and waiting isn't easy for a person with no concept of time or the needs of others. But my frustration level with them is easily increased, much to my ill attempts at keeping my heart and head in check. I've prayed prayers of patience, asking God to fill in the gaps of my humanness and supersede my shortcomings when I feel that tightening in my core because I just can't deal with another meltdown right now.
But most days, I don't really rely on Him to provide me with grace. Most days I just allow the anger and frustration to wash over me and I fly into a sea of redundancy allowing wave after wave after wave of meltdowns to overtake me. And then I lose it.
See? If any of you thought that I had it all together you can now rest assured that I am not at all together. In fact, if together was ever a word you used to describe me then you can purposefully never combine that word with your thoughts of me.
It's just that these two little folks who are obviously going through a phase and thistooshallpass seem to intentionally do the exact things they know they will get a consequence for.
And it drives me bananas.
I'm not suppose to slam the door and you tell me that every.single.day? Oh good.
SLAM THE DOOR! SLAM THE DOOR! SLAM THE DOOOOOR!!!
I'm not suppose to open and shut, open and shut, open and shut the kitchen cabinets? Oh good.
OPEN AND SHUT OPEN AND SHUT OPEN AND SHUT OPEN AND SHUT!
It's not okay for me to play with 3 specific toys that are set aside and out of reach and only for the older kids? Oh look!
I CAN SCALE THE BOOKSHELF AND JUST TOUCH SAID TOY WITH MY ITTY BITTY FINGER UNTIL IT FALLS AND THEN I HIDE AND PLAY WITH IT.
I mean, seriously?! There aren't many things that they are restricted from. I learned that lesson quickly with our first set of two year olds. I choose my battles and make very few things off limits in our home. Toys and play are free and easily managed by these little toddling persons. I mean, afterall, it's their house too and they shouldn't be scolded every 5 seconds just for living. But there are boundaries and there are a small number of toys that they are not allowed to play with. But it seems that is exactly what they want to do.
You know, exactly what they aren't allowed to.
Oh how it drives me crazy. And every time a child of ours comes into this age I forget that two year olds are like this and it blows my mind all over again.
So do me a favor, will you? When Ella hits about 17 months old, will you remind me that her twoness is just around the corner? Hopefully it won't take me by surprise like it has 5 other times. Hopefully.
And if you are a superstar at parenting a two year old, I could use a tip or prayer or
Isn't it great that God makes each of us so different? I would take a two year old over a crying infant any day. You are right though, 2 is a tough, tough age. Living through it right now and I have no tips for you that you are not already doing, but I will definitely say a prayer for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. I have felt the same way with my own little fella and have been so down on myself about it. I am glad to know I am not the only one who struggles with this daily. I hate to wish away the time, but I am ready for this season to pass.
ReplyDeleteI am right here with you. Our 2 have been on my ever shortening nerve!
ReplyDeleteIt has a lot to do with the funk I have been in lately. I feel like I am constantly repeating myself for the SAME THINGS THEY KNOW WILL GET THEM LOCKED OUTSIDE IN THE FREEZING COLD IN THEIR UNDIES (HAHA GOOD THING IT'S HOT HERE!) if they keep it up. But they repent, one gets a spanking (it's all that's, ahem, allowed ;)), they pray and ask for God's forgiveness and then mommy's/Daddy's/Brother's forgiveness. Then get off my lap and proceed to step right back into the memory laps pool and do it all over again within a matter of minutes! I mean c'mon! REALLY!!??!!
HOW IS THIS SO DIFFICULT! hahahahahahhahaha hysterics! Mine have learned the look even. I can look at them and they know they better go find their own dark corner of the house before I tape them into one. But even that works til their brain backfires and the repeat button gets fried in the ON position!
UGGGHHH.
All that to say, I am in this season right along with you. 2- two year olds and all! Well, minus the bigger children. But I do have the smaller one and we won't EVEN get started on his new found attitude!
Oh yes, me too. I am currently dealing with one very constant two-year-old and wondering how I will do it next year when my now-one-year-olds (two of them) turn two. God help us all! (By the way, I too am learning the hard way to beg for grace every day. I absolutely cannot do this on my own steam.)
ReplyDeletei'm not a superstar at parenting a two year old, but i could use a few tips on parenting a 3 year old that can't communicate very well. it is challenging and you are not alone...that is for sure! (and my little boy was always the sweetest, most well behaved baby!)
ReplyDeleteIt's so AWESOME that other mommies are out there, dealing with the same things!! I can TOTALLY relate to everything you've said. Our youngest two are only 10 months apart, but they are both acting like they are two right now, and I can hardly stand it. I go bed mentally and physically exhausted every day, and I wonder how I'm going to make it through each day without doing something I immediately regret. Thank the Lord for His grace for each day! Sorry you're dealing with it, too, but it actually helps me knowing that I'm not alone.
ReplyDelete