Das Not Funny! Friday: And another one wipes the butt

I know it's been a while but nothing kicks off the weekend like a laugh, huh? So welcome to this week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. Not sure what Das Not Funny! Friday is all about? Well click here to find out. I've made a few changes since that first post, mainly just eliminating the Linky. So, if you'd like to write you own post just leave the link to your blog in the comments section so we all can laugh at you with you.

I should have tons and tons since it's been a sweet forever since I've blogged about our funnies but I've been horrible at writing them down so here is the one I remember (only because I texted it to myself).

Last weekend we went to visit our friend Kevin at his college. As Kevin gave us a quick tour of his campus Ashlee decided it would be a good idea to mark her territory. We scurried into the nearest bathroom and since the bathroom was completely empty and there was not another person in the building we were in, I instructed her to go, wipe, wash and then come out of the bathroom where I'd be waiting for her. Wiping is a new skill for her, you see. We have two 4 year olds and I'm now down to only wiping 50% of our resident 4 year old butts. Ashlee is a self wiper these days so you can guess who is lazy in the self cleaning area.

Actually, I could just clap my hands because out of the 8 butts in our house, I'm down to only being responsible for wiping 5 of them. It's a milestone really. Seriously, there was a time when I was responsible for 7 of the 8 of the butts in our house. That's overwhelming on so many levels, folks.

Sorry for the over load of wiping details but I mean really people, I have 6 kids 6 years and younger. Don't read my blog if you don't expect some details about poop and it's related issues.

ANYWAY, after a few minutes I hear her yell from the bathroom stall, "I'M ALL DOOOOOONE!!!"

I poke my head in the bathroom and say, "Ok. Well, wipe."

"I can't," Ashlee retorts.

"Why not?" I ask, less than enthused.

"Because. I gots to know how many poo poos there are so you can wipe them."

"Excuse me?" I question.

So I guess she thinks maybe speaking more slowly will help me comprehend, "I...said...I...gots...to....know...how...many...poop....there...are....so you can wipe them."

Obviously the slower speech did not help. "What? Why can't you just wipe yourself Ash?" I ask, bouncing Ella on one hip and less then thrilled that Ashlee is taking SOFRIGGIN'LONG in the bathroom.

"Mom! I don't know how many poops there are so I can't wipe good!" she exclaims, almost as weary as I am from all the not understanding.

"Um. Okay. Can I just hand you the toilet paper then?" I question.

"Yep, and I'll count."

I rip a few squares off, hand them to my toilet perching daughter and she says, "One...." a few more squares..."Two...." a few more squares..."Three...." a few more squares...."Four...." a few more squares..."Five...okay, just one more I think..." a few more squares..."Six! That's how many!"

"Um. So Ash, do you count how many poops there are and then wipe that many times?" I ask, stifling a chuckle.

"YES! And there were just too many poops to count this time so I couldn't do it by myself," she says cheerfully, clearly relieved I finally get it.

"Oh. Good to know," I laugh.

We wash, wipe and exit with Ashlee skipping away joyfully and me amazed at how differently God created each of my babies.

Now, if Lucas could just get a handle on counting maybe this wiping issue would resolve itself.