Rainforest Rapids IAP My Summer Oasis

Dear Blast Zone Company,

This year, for the birthdays that my summer born children will celebrate, my husband and I decided to commit social suicide. You see, last year I promised myself that I would take my own advice and continue in the "new" tradition of off-site birthday parties. Our 4.5 year old daughter's 4th birthday party at the gymnastics facility was delightful and completely relaxing for both me and her father. Unfortunately (for us, but very fortunately for you), we opted to forgo this luxury this year and instead we were lured by your high powered marketing tactics (aka: listings on Craigslist and Ebay) and chose your Rainforest Rapids Inflatable Amusement Park (which I will herein refer to as RRIAP) as our one and only option for birthday party fun this summer.

Although I'm sure this will be a decision that I'll live to regret, we were thrilled not only to spend our money the grandparents' money and purchase our own bounce house/water slide for keepsies forever, but to see that we were going to receive it in a week's time, straight from (unless you count the FedEx stops in Kansas and all) the great state of The Governator.

Our Rainforest Rapids Inflatable Amusement Park (RRIAP) sat securely in her box until the first dry and semi-warm day we've had in the past week. Today, we busted open the box, hooked up the Boeing 747 "blower" and tested her abilities. You'll be happy to know that after many relocations, we finally found a patch of lush green grass to kill, right outside our back door.

(Be sure to take special note of Elizabeth, our first born, already injured in the bottom right hand corner of this picture. A class action law suit will also be attached and a secondary copy coming via certified mail. Well, not really, postage is now $0.44, and based on the price of your product, that is $0.44 I no longer have.)

I am humbled to say that your RRIAP, was indeed, love at first sight for both me and my children. Perhaps, because of my children's exhaustion, I will regain naptime afterall. I especially love that you offer RRIAP's use as both a wet/dry amusement park. Today, we decided to open 'er up and take her for a spin. I am thrilled to report that my children loved your product, all 16 ft x 14 ft of her.

However, I regret to inform you that you might have made a small oversight with the use of your product in "dry mode." It seems that, shipped along side of RRIAP (and only when used in "dry" mode) was her BFF, static cling.


The 15,000 watt voltage that lept from my children's fingers and onto my face EACH time they were near me was enough to fling me from my feet and onto our near standing swing set. After an entire box of dryer sheets, Ms. Static Cling has met her demise.

On a better note, I am hoping RRIAP's countless hours of unfailing (and hopefully, unpoppable) love will lead to many, many more of these from my terrorish delightful son.

My second eldest daughter was virtually unable to be photographed. Due to time constraints and necessary running, ear piercing screams and delightful jumping, I barely snapped this photograph before she was, once again, too consumed with sliding, jumping and squealing.

Overall, I would just like to thank you for this product. We have yet to test her out using the water hose, but we rest assured that adding water to her already incredibly slippery surface will make for an enjoyable time for both kids and parents alike (as the latter stands at a distance mocking and smirking at ill timed jumps and poorly placed footings).

A week from this Saturday we will be conducting a test of your product's strength. We have invited over several crash test dummies delightful, bounding children who will be pulling, jumping, climbing, gnashing their teeth slipping, sliding, laughing and enjoying the RRIAP. I will follow up with you at that time as to the effectiveness and guarantee of your manufacturer's 90 day warranty.

Yours Truly,

Jessica